Roar! presents... Casey L by KCLSU Student Media

ROAR! presents...

Casey L Christmas Collectorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Edition

ROAR! www.roarnews.co.uk LAURA FRATER EDITOR editor@roarnews.co.uk BEN JACKSON DEPUTY/NEWS EDITOR news@roarnews.co.uk LIAM JACKSON SPORTS EDITOR sports@roarnews.co.uk OLIVIA SELLEY COMMENT EDITOR comment@roarnews. co.uk ANTHONY SHAW FEATURES EDITOR features@roarnews. co.uk MAX EDWARDS ARTS EDITOR arts@roarnews.co.uk KATIE SINCLAIR FILM EDITOR film@roarnews.co.uk WILL DAVENPORT HANNAH EWENS MUSIC EDITORS music@roarnews.co.uk EVA CHAIDEFTOS FASHION AND LIFESTYLE EDITOR fashion@roarnews.co.uk CATHERINE KING STUDENT GROUPS EDITOR students@roarnews. co.uk MARY DAVIES CAREERS EDITOR marydavies_@hotmail. com MATT LEVER ONLINE EDITOR CHARLOTTE RICHARDSON EDITOR-IN-CHIEF vpsme@kclsu.org

Congratulations, you made it through this semester! Christmas is coming and most us are about to enter the depths of essay and coursework hell. So to brighten your spritis, the Roar! team have put together an extra special Christmas magazine for you. It’s festive, it’s fun and it’s engulfed with Christmas spirit.

It’s certainly been an eventful first semester for us at the paper. The Lord Carey campaign travelled miles, from a student council motion to articles in the Guardian and the London Evening Standard! And we ruﬄed a few privileged feathers by revealing the alleged second year members of Nos Tuendorum, the once-secret society at King’s. We provided full minute-to-minute coverage of the NUS Demo and got drenched along the way.

You may have noticed our appearance is a little different this issue... We’ve gone back in time and created an exclusive edition of ‘Casey L’, the publication that preceeded Roar! in the 90s! A 32 page newspaper seemed like heavy reading for this time of year, so we’ve compiled the best bits of Roar! Newspaperiness into some spectacular bite-sized, essay-busting chunks.

This semester has been a rebirth at Roar! Newspaper, with fresh eyes and a new mindset, with our editors constantly striving to create what we think is a tabloid newspaper with intelligence. If you want to join us on this journey, and have some great laughs along the way, get in touch: editor@roarnews.co.uk Happy Christmas, Reggie-ites.

Editor’s Note

What’s Hot Ben Wilson (see left) Made in King’s Anthony’s birthday, Dec 15th. Our new Arts Editor. Austria. Geordie girls. The nutters at student council. Falling in love. Marko coming back from Australia to see us! Being able to put a half-decent issue together with absolutely zero resources. Listen to our VPSME, KCLSU. Getting #ChristmasCharlotte trending worldwide by the 25th!

What’s Not The Book of Margery Kempe. Mice, milk and no electricity. Exes who just won’t go away. The jellyfish in our office. Seasonal affective disorder. Unrequited love. Going all the way to Tesco at 10pm to get chocolate for Laura. When people die. Laura having too much power. Country music. The Waterfront not having a kitchen on Monday morning – WTF? Post-graduate applications.

news

THE DEFACED FACES OF KING’S The image of Lord Carey on the Strand Campus windows was defaced on 23rd-24th November, with the word “Scum” written over it in black permanent marker. It was discovered by a Roar! editor on the Saturday. It is suspected that the act was prompted by an article that appeared in the London Evening Standard earlier that week, entitled ‘Former Archbishop of Canterbury is homophobic, say King’s students’. By Tuesday, the window had been cleaned and the graffiti removed. (News section ends here). However, this act of vandalism has caused a curious trend over the final weeks of the semester, with various prominent images of King’s people being defaced left, right and centre. It’s enough to make Desmond Tutu turn in his grave! The prime suspect is second year International Politics student and front-runner for the Governor of Gibraltar role, Anthony Shaw. Shaw has a history of puerile acts of vandalism, having used a permanent marker to draw a graphic penis in the Roar! office last month. The whole furore was dubbed ‘Penis-gate’ in a KCLSU-funded inquiry led by Charlotte Richardson. KCLSU’s Volunteering Week occurred the week after the Lord

Keep calm and Carey on - the graffiti was swiftly removed Carey attack. Volunteering Week involved a campaign to get King’s students to work for free in their communities, to make friends and improve their employment prospects. It appears that a student entered the Macadam Building on 3rd Decem ber and scrawled the word “Smug” on a poster depicting “Will,” who says “You can volunteer for just one day in the whole year and still make a huge difference.”

A KCLSU Volunteering Week poster was viciously attacked on 3rd December

A witness said, “I was walking down the stairs in the Macadam Building when I saw a tall man run past me. He was holding a permanent marker. He wrote the word “Smug” over one of those KCLSU propaganda posters and laughed maniacally before fleeing. I really hope KCLSU implements their safe space policy soon, to prevent stuff like this from happening again. First the Lord Carey thing and now this? It’s disgraceful.”

“Posh boy Clayton” Current KCLSU President Thomas Clayton has had a successful first semester in charge. He’s been co-operative with the newspaper, providing quotes when needed, and his speech before the NUS Demo was very charismatic indeed.

over Wain’s lips. It’s not like his face needed any improvement, amirite ladies?! However, the fact that Movember had already ended adds extra insult to this defacement. Whose image is next? The Duke of Wellington’s? Charlotte Rich-

ardson’s humorous cardboard cut-out? A culture of caution has taken over King’s campuses. “I don’t want someone writing the words “Posh boy” over my portrait in the Great Hall,” Ben Judge might have said (he didn’t).

Clayton isn’t without his critics, however. Some think he’s a “Posh boy”, shown by the recent defacement of his image in the KCLSU Lobby. It appears that the graffiti was hastily removed because an inky mist now resides over the picture, leaving our Dear Leader red-faced.

The perpetrator clearly has a sick sense of humour

news

At the beginning of the semester, Ryan Wain, a former KCLSU President, replaced Derek Jarman, iconic film director, artist and author, on the Strand Campus windows of alumni. Wain was spotted at the Waterfront on the night of the U.S. election. Evidently, some people just never leave King’s! Wain tweeted in response to Roar!’s ‘Why’s Wain Got a Window’ article in October, saying his mum was very proud of his inclusion on the walkway of alumni. However, an atmosphere of bitterness still exists around the replacement, indicated by a student having drawn a flamboyant moustache

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IN DEFENCE OF PAGE THREE

This month The Sun celebrated the 42nd anniversary of its controversial Page 3 feature. For those unfamiliar with the publication, this refers to the paper’s daily tradition of printing a large photograph of a topless female glamour model on its third page.

On the day in question, a small crowd gathered outside the offices of News Corporation, the paper’s parent company, in east London. Incredibly, however, the men and women (mostly the latter) gathered on this icy morning were not Sun readers who had come to celebrate the longevity of their

1) Page 3 celebrates natural beauty. I know some people might turn around and say the birds are plastered in makeup and full of silicon and all that. But I’ll have you know that silicon’s actually a naturally occurring element, so you’d be barking up the wrong tree with that one. 2) Page 3 doesn’t create unrealistically high standards for young birds. It reminds them that with a bit of plastic surgery and a decent diet, any girl can

favourite section and express their longing for its continued success.

Instead, they were campaigners demanding that editor Dominic Mohan drop a feature that they believe epitomises sexism. Many of those protesting would have known that the likelihood of Mohan dropping it voluntarily is virtually zero, a fact which has led some of them to form a breakaway campaign, demanding Parliament to impose an outright legislative ban on Page 3 girls. This, however, is treading on dangerous territory. Nick Clegg has refused to back the campaign,

look like that. Women have a duty. Could be the motivation they need. Besides, if I’m opening my morning paper while I’m tucking into me cornflakes, the last thing I want to see is some fat old bird with her knockers out. 3) That petition to remove it has got, what, 60,000 signatures? Yeah well The Sun alone has more than 2 and a half million readers, day in, day out. Show me a million signatures and I might stop and listen. Probably not though.

pointing out how ‘illiberal’ it would be for the state to dictate what a newspaper can and cannot print. Clegg is absolutely right to oppose the censorship of the girls in the interest of freedom of speech, but why does he not extend his opposition as far as the voluntary removal – does he not value the venerable third page? Anyone with any sense can surely appreciate these five eloquent and rational arguments in defence of the Page 3 girls, put to me by tabloid-reading acquaintances.

4) The only reason anyone could have for objecting is that they’re jealous, they’re probably fat and ugly themselves. 5) If you don’t like it, and I really can’t understand why you wouldn’t (I think all publications would benefit from tits on page 3 especially things like the Financial Times or the Economist, they can be quite boring) then just remember there’s no need to read it. Read something else instead. Hugh Thomson

FAITH AND HOMOSEXUALITY: MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE CONCEPTS? This semester King’s LGBT (Lesbian Gay Bisexual & Trans*) Society organised a College-wide lecture series entitled ‘Faith & Homosexuality’ with the aim of dispelling the myth that all religious organisations and religious people are anti-LGBT. The talks, entitled ‘Sexual Diversity: A gift from God?’, ‘The Slippery World of Sex, Gender and Religion’ and ‘Queer Christianity: Media and public perception’ were each given by an expert in their field; one of our own King’s College London Anglican Chaplains, Revd Dr Keith Riglin, a sociology lecturer from Greenwich University, Dr Sally Mann, and an associate director at the Christian think tank Ekklesia, Symon Hill.

“The film Prayers For Bobby was an amazing, touching, heart-warming story and I'm so glad I got to see it again! Everyone should watch it no matter what their faith, sexual orientation or gender." – 3rd year King’s Student. "A heart-breaking portrayal of how religion can tear a family apart and how love can heal it again." – 4th year King’s student. This series saw audiences of non-religious LGBT students, religious LGBT students, Christians and those from other faith backgrounds coming together to discuss some very pertinent current issues in religion today. “A great series of talks that got me thinking about my opinion

This provided for enlightening discussions about the role of the Church, its relationship with the LGBT community as a whole and the current debate surrounding same-sex marriage. There was agreement that these talks opened up a side to Christianity that LGBT students could relate to and found really inclusive. “The people giving these talks demonstrated that religion isn't synonymous with conservatism. It was an experience to hear words of religion that related directly to me and my identity. And it's always wonderful to hear a preaching of the ideal of love and inclusivity - the talks, and the movie, were touching.” – Rahul, trans* student. "An inspiring reminder that God still means love" – 4th year King’s student. "The series of lectures allowed me to see that there are two sides to Christianity when it comes to sexuality. It was refreshing to hear pro same-sex arguments that are never raised both in the media and to an extent within spiritual circles. Thanks King’s LGBT for having this event!" – final year King’s student. "It was refreshing to engage in discussions that did not set my sexual orientation and my religious beliefs at odds, but rather embraced both together.” – 1st year King’s student. Not only did the talks begin to dispel the myth that all religious organisations and religious people are anti-LGBT, but also made LGBT students feel more included in religion and that they could be both LGBT

and religious and be supported. “During the question time at one of the sessions, I heard another participant mention the group Changing Attitude, which works to bring LGBT individuals into the Anglican Church. I'm glad I chose to go not only for the discussion, but also because I got to find out about this other resource." – 1st year King’s student. This shows that ‘Faith and Homosexuality’ are not mutually exclusive concepts. We need to continue to work towards accepting LGBT people into religion as well as including and involving religious people in the LGBT community, whatever their sexual orientation or gender. “The talks were brilliant, I hope the committee decides to do something similar next year, there really isn't anything like it at undergrad level anywhere in the country, and it's a great way of helping us form ideas about our identities outside of bars!” – Jonny, King’s LGBT member. If you would like to hear the talks from this series, they will be put online shortly as either a podcast or PDF. As a society King's LGBT exists to provide a safe environment for LGBT students and their friends to meet, campaign on behalf of the LGBT student community and promote awareness of LGBT issues. To find out more visit our Facebook group at http://www.facebook.com/groups/57930354760/ or facebook search King’s LGBT. You can also join our mailing list at http://kingslgbt.co.uk/ Lucy Hitchcock, President King’s LGBT 2012/13.

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To complement the talks we screened the film ‘Prayers for Bobby’. Based on a true story, devout Christian Mary Griffith (Sigourney Weaver) raises her children with the conservative teachings of the Presbyterian Church. Following the tragic suicide of her gay son, Bobby, Mary goes on a journey of self-discovery questioning herself, society and her interpretation of religious scripture.

around faith and homosexuality” – Christian student at King’s "I really enjoyed the faith and sexuality talks. They were thoroughly interesting and I learnt a lot about other faiths. – 1st year King’s Student.

features

Made In King’s Cast: The Official Interview I’m joined in the KCLSU lobby on a freezing Wednesday morning with some of the beautiful cast members from ‘Made in Kings’ (MiK). Thank you very much to Horace, Alexander and Elizabeth for taking the time out of their hectic social diary to speak to Roar! A.S: For those of us who might not know, what is Made in Kings? Horace: It’s basically just a look at our lives, a look at what we do on a day to day basis and what we get up to. Bella: Yeah, after all we are like the crème de la crème... Horace: I think it’s good for everyone to just see the way that we live so they can aspire to be more like us, give them something to think about, you know? Alexander: I mean who better to represent the university then us? A.S: So you guys kind of see this as a sort of a charitable outlook, doing something for those less fortunate than yourselves?

Horace: And rich. Bella: You have to be really sort of ‘rah’... Hoarace: Yah your parents have to get taxed at least 50%. A.S: Can you describe yourselves in three words? Alexander: Oh, well that’s a toughy... well as I said it was a requirement, I guess, fabulous and erm...? Help me out guys? How would you describe me? Bella: Aren’t you like the gay best friend? Alexander: Ahh yes! There we go, gay best friend! Horace: Erm.... Bitter Oxford Reject. A.S: Wow that sounds pretty traumatic? Horace: Yah, it’s really the only thing that’s gone wrong in my life.

Alexander: Yah, we just, like, help the dregs of society,

Bella: I’d go for ‘Wanna-be -Caggie?

Horace: It’s our contribution to society, sort of.

Horace: But that’s only two words.

A.S: So other than the charitable aspect of this, why else do you guys take part? Horace: Well, the obvious perks of like, getting into clubs for free ‘cause we’re so famous and stuff like that. Bella: And we all aspire to be actors and actresses and this is a way to start that. Alexander: The first step on the ladder.

fabulous really.

Bella: No like..?? Wanna... BE... Caggie. It’s a Made in Chelsea thing. A.S: Are you guys single? Have you found love? Alexander: I’m single and ready to mingle. Bella: It’s a bit awks between me and Horace actually... Horace: Yah I’d rather if we not talk about this and just move on.

A.S: Is there a special requirement for being in MiK?

A.S: So it’s the festive season and with that in mind what is your favourite part about Christmas?

Alexander: You just have to be

Horace: Well, oh... erm.... I sup-

pose the reindeer? Reindeer are pretty good. Bella: Because you see them everywhere don’t you, Horace? Horace: They do exist. Alexander: I just love the festive edge to it and when that big old guy comes down my chimney, that’s good. Let him unload his sack and all that. Bella: Going to the country house. The estate. That’s always nice. A.S: What is the number one present you want this year? Alexander: Access to my trust fund, I mean it’s waaaaay overdue now. Horace: Get membership to the National Trust but I own like half of the properties anyway. So maybe a Gucci clock. Bella: I’d love another Mulberry handbag. A.S: Well thank you very much for coming in and talking to us and being so modest! Was lovely to meet you all, have a very Merry Christmas! Made In King’s is currently in filming and is soon to be released in the New Year. Check out the trailer at http://bit.ly/QI4aKj

Bah! Humbug! It’s the Student Council! The Student Council is by far the most bureaucratically, ineffective and ludicrous idea known to man since the invention of lead rubber ducks. Many of you probably think this, and quite rightly too. Indeed, as the first ever Conservative, fresher Student Council Chair to have graced the seat of power, I too thought this. I still do, to a certain extent. Your Student Council is actually quite an important body however. It is the equivalent to the gravy with the turkey, or indeed the brandy with the Christmas pudding. Without it, the delicious KCLSU meal that we all love, would not function – it really would be pretty bland. Yes, Thomas Clayton could quite probably run KCLSU himself and create policies that no mortal has ever thought of before, however we would have to call him ‘Tsar’ and KCLSU, the ‘Politburo’.

Many of you will have heard about the headline, hash-tag issues such as Lord Carey, banning the Zulu chant and the car crash IT problems. Indeed, apart from the Zulu chant (to be discussed at the next meeting) we have thrashed these out to some depth. The Student Council is more than just about Lords, Zulus and computers however. This term has seen a whole multitude of policies passed; everything from double sided printing to LGBT sensitivity staff training to increasing participation. As Chair, I serve as one of the thirty-four elected Student Council representatives and a neutral mediator at the same time. This job is by no means easy but it is rewarding. Having recently sat on the working party committee of KCLSU to determine exactly how passed policy will be implemented, I can assure you that you do get pretty good value for

money...and some change back. All in all, the Student Council deserves more than just ‘bar humbug’. Each and every student can submit a motion to the Student Council and speak during debates. I will in fact give you a cast iron guarantee, that if you are present at a meeting, then you will have an opportunity to speak should you wish to.

The next Student Council meeting will be held on the 17th January on the Strand, in S-2.08. Please do come along and bring a friend, an elf or a reindeer. Lastly, have a very enjoyable Christmas! Look out for Thomas Clayton dressed up as ‘Buddy the Elf ’…superb film, don’t you think? Your first amongst equals, Comrade and two legged Chair, Benjamin Judge Student Council Chair

features

film

HITS, MISSES AND NEWS OF 2012

January by Yeganeh Aby

HIT Shame (Steve McQueen) In their second collaboration, McQueen and Michael Fassbender demolish the boundaries of sexuality in cinema. The filmmaker objectively shines a light on sex addiction as a social conflict without shying away from the explicit. MISS J. Edgar (Clint Eastwood) Based on the life of FBI founder, Edgar Hoover, the film aims to be a factual biography. However, it is our emotions that are targeted, not our logical judgement. The shoddy make-up doesn’t help, either. Disappointing show from legendary Eastwood. NEWS With the announcement of its nominations, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences aimed to change its views of non-Hollywood films. Notable nominations included French silent film The Artist, Iranian drama A Separation and British Thatcher biopic The Iron Lady. Perhaps for once, Hollywood sought a fresh production input from world cinema.

February by Chandni Lakhani

HIT Carnage (Roman Polanski) A hysterical play adaptation featuring two sets of parents fighting it out over their sons’ playground brawl. Despite an unbeatable Kate Winslet, Christopher Waltz, Jodie Foster and John C Riley as an ensemble cast, the quartet was snubbed by the Academy. Travesty! MISS The Vow (Michael Sucsy) A typically predictable Nicholas Sparks story… but Channing Tatum is in it so who cares? Rachel McAdams also stars.

NEWS The 84th Annual Academy Awards took place on February 26th. The Artist and Hugo were the big winners of the night, picking up 5 awards each. And who can forget Angelina Jolie’s deliciously bared leg, which spawned its own twitter account.

March by Shashank Peshawaria

HIT Kahaani (Sujoy Ghosh) Hindi for story, this tells the tale of a pregnant woman who travels form London to Kolkata in search of her missing husband. There is fiction within fiction, and the narrative challenges the expectations of the audience until the climax. References to Satyajit Ray’s films and Ganganendranath Tagore’s painting gives the film a unique Bengali feel. MISS London, Paris, New York (Anu Menon) LPNY is an unbearably cheesy and unconvincing rom-com. An uncompromisingly weak depiction of a feminist girl makes this predictable love story a difficult watch if you know how to think. NEWS The BFI hosted the 26th London Lesbian and Gay Film Festival, which was originally proposed by King’s Film Studies professor Richard Dyer. 88 sold out screenings and talks culminated in an award ceremony where the Derek Oysten CHE Film Prize was awarded to Alek Tulli’s docu-drama 365 without 377, which centres on India’s homosexuality law reform.

April by Aoife Dowling

HIT Avengers Assemble (Joss Whedon). Quality blockbuster at its best, this badass film burst

onto our screens in an explosive extravaganza. All our favourite action heroes join forces for a thrilling adventure, intertwined with timely wit (thank you, Mr. Robert Downey Jr.). MISS Battleship (Peter Berg). It could have been great. A familiar concept, bombs galore, pop superstar Rihanna and action veteran Liam Neeson is surely a recipe for success. However, the film progresses like a badly steered war boat. Noisy and disengaging, it bumbles towards a formulaic ending. NEWS Kate and Leo splashed back onto our screens, with the re-release of Titanic – this time, in 3D. One shot differs from the 1997 version. James Cameron altered the view of the stars above Rose’s floating driftwood. Apparently, the constellations aren’t accurate in the original. Apparently.

May

by Katie Sinclair HIT Moonrise Kingdom (Wes Anderson). Anderson presents yet another quirky, heart-warming piece, this time charting the journey of two kindred spirits in the form of 1960s children escaping from their summer camp. Critically revered, the film features Hollywood heavyweights Bruce Willis, Frances McDormand and Harvey Keitel alongside its child cast. MISS American Pie Reunion (Jon Hurwitz, Hayden Schlossberg) I mean, must it go on? How about we retire the baking tray and give the pies of disgusting humour and tired comedy a rest. NEWS At Cannes, Michael Haneke won the Palm D’or for his deeply moving Amour, which is in cinemas across London now.

June by Charlotte Woods

HIT The Five Year Engagement (Nicholas Stoller). Not your average rom-com fair. It all stems from the smart pairing of Emily Blunt and Jason Segal as a couple that want to get married before life gets in the way. Deeply touching without becoming clichéd, the film muses on modern priorities and relationships. MISS Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter (Timur Bekmambetov) This flop might be a favourite for some but when you’re making a film about an ex-President of the USA having a secret identity as a vampire hunter you can’t be too serious. NEWS Katie Holmes filed for divorce from Tom Crusie. Cough shocker cough.

July

By Racheal Krishna HIT The Dark Knight Rises (Christopher Nolan). Brilliantly ending Nolan’s trilogy, it was perhaps the most anticipated film of the year and failed to disappoint. The film can also be pinpointed as the moment that shaved heads and breathing apparatus became sexy. We have Tom Hardy to thank for that. MISS Ice Age: Continental Drift (Steve Martino, Mike Thermeier). There are film franchises, and then there’s Ice Age. Why are they still making these films? I’m sure the Ice Age didn’t actually last this long. And the squirrel joke got lame after the second film. NEWS In the London Olympics opening ceremony, James Bond skydived with the Queen, proving that Her Maj is still cool at 86. Shame no such cameo appeared in the equally awesome Skyfall.

August By Henry Cross

HIT Ted (Seth McFarlane). There were mixed preconceptions about Family Guy creator McFarlane’s first feature length film that features a talking, swearing teddy bear performing lewd acts. But Ted delivered belly laughs - the work of comic genius. MISS Cockneys vs Zombies (Matthias Hoene.) No, we’re not joking. The latest film in the ‘Something vs Zombies’ genre fails to deliver, despite its genius premise (!) The special effects re good, there’s lots of cockney swearing and action but even the most gore-hungry of fans will find this film a waste of time. NEWS The Dark Knight continued to dominate the summer box office, with critics lauding Tom Hardy’s performance and praising Nolan’s characteristically dark action direction.

is a poignant documentation of a Palestinian farmer, Emad Burnat, and his struggle with the Israeli army as they attempt to erect an anti-terrorist wall through his village. Through the recovered footage of five broken cameras, we are able to absorb the horrific realities of life in the Israel-Palestine conflict. MISS Taken 2 (Olivier Megaton) Roar! Film loves Liam Neeson, but this unimaginative sequel does not do the slick Taken franchise any justice. Turning the plot of its predecessor on its head, Neeson himself is taken and must rely on his daughter to save the day. NEWS Disney purchased Lucasfilm for $4 billion. Lucas said: ‘It’s now time for me to pass Star Wars on to a new generation of filmmakers.’ Star Wars: Episode VII has been announced for a 2015 release date.

September November by Katie Sinclair

by Carolina de Sousa HIT Untouchable (Eric Toledano, Olivier Nakache.) Laughing about tetraplegia with tetraplegics, why not? Ten months after its release in France, the protagonists of Untouchable, François Cluzet and Omar Sy, are still charming British critics. In cinemas now. MISS To Rome With Love (Woody Allen). Even though we love Woody Allen and his smart films, To Rome With Love is dully formulaic. Like his recent, You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger, the director uses celebrities (and women in red) to appeal to his usual fans. NEWS The 69th Venice Film Festival saw the talented Paul Thomas Anderson win the Silver Lion with the drama The Master.

October by Chris Laughton

HIT Five Broken Cameras (Emad Burnat, Guy Davidi). Acclaimed at Sundance, this film

HIT The Master (Paul Thomas Anderson). A musing on the psychological effects of war, the film explores a mysterious cult similar to scientology. It’s simply breath-taking to watch and overflowing with stellar performances. MISS Liz & Dick (Lloyd Kramer). Lindsay, darling, can we have a word? Please put on a few pounds and stop crashing your car. We grew up mouthing along to your duplicated self in The Parent Trap as you did handshakes with a butler. Remember how awesome Mean Girls was? Stop this nonsense and start making good movies again. NEWS When awarding her a CBE, The Queen asked Kate Winslet if she enjoyed being an actress. “Yes I like it”, Winslet said, “but not as much as being a mother.’ The Queen replied, “it is the best job.”

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music

Roar!’s 2012 Alternative Christmas Playlist

THE RAMONES Merry Christmas (I Don’t Want To Fight Tonight)

TIM MINCHIN White Wine in The Sun (Christmas Song)

SUFJAN STEVENS Did I Make You Cry On Christmas Day? (Well, You Deserved It)

‘‘Christmas ain’t the time for breaking each other’s heart” important advice for all of us to remember during the overexcitement of present-opening, delivered in smooth Blondie-esque riffs. This band spans over two generations of fans so there’s a good chance your parents will remember this too.

Musical stylings and comedic warblings come together in the beautiful human being that is Tim Minchin and if that’s not enough to persuade you that his song should be on your Christmas playlist too, our very own Desmond Tutu gets a mention in the opening.

From a characteristically modest collection of (mostly original) Christmas songs over five whole volumes from the masterful Sufjan Stevens, Did I Make You Cry On Christmas Day? sounds a bit like Greensleeves being played through a late 90’s PlayStation game, with acoustic male and female vocals. Timeless.

Music Events at King’s this Christmas

FRIDAY, 21st DECEMBER 2012

This Christmas the Choir of King’s College London perform a special concert for the first time at Saint John’s Smith Square as part of the 27th annual Christmas Festival on 21st December. The King’s Choir consists of twenty-five choral scholars and two organ scholars, and it is directed by

the College Organist, David Trendell, who is also a Senior Lecturer in the Music Department. If you didn’t already know, our choir is one of the leading university choirs in the country, and is the only non-Oxbridge collegiate choir to have been invited to take part in this event. The program contains both a rendition of Benjamin Britten’s A Boy Was Born

and a selection of Christmas music from Renaissance Spain.Tickets are available from the Chaplaincy or St John’s Smith Square Box Office which can be found online here: www.sjss.org.uk (020 7222 1061) £25, £20, £15, £10 (10% discount for concessions)

Record of the Week

CHESSLO JUNIOR Graphic Description Graphic Description marks the long-awaited label début of one of London’s most hotly-tipped young producers, indeed one of King’s very own third year Philosophy student, Chesslo Junior aka. Josh Happé. Two and a half years of making beats in the capital are triumphantly catalogued in this eight-track release through Wotnot Records, and demonstrates why he is already being

championed by the likes of Addison Groove, Kelpe and even beatscene prince DJ Kutmah. In a time when increasing numbers of producers are straying toward the higher BPM domains of trap, bass and house, Chesslo stands strong turning out the kind of skewed and honeyed beats that stubbornly defy genrefication. Flip-flopping elegantly between sun-drenched, woozy dance-floor numbers like Rohtang Pass and the gorgeous Mouskouri, to the blissed-out headphone sojourns of Carcassone and Other Place, Chesslo’s syncopated synth sweeps and snappy drum loops have you moving before you’ve even realised it. The likewise tremendously infectious energy of his live DJ sets was exhibited at the EP’s release party in early November at The Star of Kings in King’s Cross. But it’s the deft attention to melody that separates Chesslo from a lot of his peers, effortlessly creating

layered harmonies that suck you in and don’t let you go, music that is both dense and intricate but fuelled by contagious hum-along melodies. Graphic Description is a boldly original and at times breathtakingly intelligent release that will further bolster the steady rise of Chesslo Junior as a formidable and wise-beyond-his-years producer. Taken analogously, Move South, the gorgeous standout track stands as a resounding testament to the success of his relocation to King’s and integration into London’s vibrant and nighon unparalleled electronic music scene. With a further arsenal of lovingly-crafted beats and bangers up his sleeve, Happé still has considerable mileage as a multi-disciplined musical alumni to inspire new generations of King’s students to wield an MPC. James Reilly

Josh Happé (King’s Third Year Philosophy)

music

fashion

CHRISTMAS FASHION Few days of the year give you as good an excuse to dress up to the-point-of-no-return as New Year’s Eve. This year, take it one step further by incorporating the drama and mystery from the 2012 Autumn/Winter catwalks; be inspired by the intricate embellishments as endorsed by Roksanda Ilincic and Mark Fast, the elaborate prints at Christopher Kane and Issa, Mulberry’s lace details, Derek Lam’s leather outfits and the fifty shades of deep red as seen at Chloé, Versus, Kenzo, Aquilano Rimondi and many more. Here at Fashion and Lifestyle we have rounded up some of our favourite pieces from the high street that will hopefully tickle your fancy!

1. ASOS Self Tie Bow Tie £10 (No bowtie - no love-ti…me.) 2. TFNC / Turlington Sequin Dress, £66 (Sequins and strapless - a classic choice for New Year’s Eve) 3. Topshop Studded and Embellished Corset, £40.00 (Think Rihanna, S&M). 4. Calypso Platform Pump, £30 (Metallic will guarantee you being the centre of attention. It will also make it easier for your friends to find you in the club.) 5. Rare Chiffon Skater Dress With Pearl Back, £49.00 (Burgundy is this season’s hottest colour) 6.Ted Baker Cameo Cufflinks, £40 (Because it’s all in the details.)

And if you decide to make it an xxx-mas… 7. Ann Summers Christmas Mankini, £4.80 (Because it’s only £4.80!?) 8. Ann Summers Miss Santa Clause Outfit, £24

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THE ESSENTIAL HOLIDAY AND NEW YEAR CHECK LIST

1. Have a snow ball fight. Eat yellow snow. 2. Kiss randomer under mistletoe (or alternatively someone you like). 3. Eat too much turkey, swear to never eat turkey again, then binge on remains for two weeks. Weep. 4. Revise. Hahahahahahahahahaha. 5. Pretend you love your Christmas presents, especially the socks. 6. Wear a woolen knitted Christmas jumper (see Bridget Jones for reference). 7. Watch the Great Escape. Again. 8. Whistle the tune (you probably are right now). 9. Send an email to Santa (santa@northpole.com). 10. Leave a mince pie out for Santa. 11. Catch Santa kissing your mother (hello repressed memories). 12. Discuss the ethics of Santa’s infringement of labour rights. 13. Build a snowman and place the carrot inappropriately. 14. Make a Christmas wish upon a star. 15. Nod politely along with a racist grandparent. 16. Sit by the log fire. Catch on fire. Drop and roll. 17. Eat a lot of chocolate. A lot. 18. Go sledging. 19. Try and get somewhere then realise the buses don’t run because it’s Christmas. 20. Watch the Boxing Day football. 21. Watch the Queen’s speech (saucy minx...). 22. Kiss someone (or something) at New Year’s. 23. “Sing” Auld Lang Syne. Google how it’s spelled to end drunk debate and potential fight. 24. Use New Year’s as an excuse to text your ex then regret it for a week. 25. Make resolutions. 26. Break resolutions.

If you’re lucky enough to spend New Year’s Eve in the best city in the world, make sure you have a plan; the tube is free all night, so there is no need for an oyster to make the world your oyster! Here are our favourite NYE locations... For the traditional clubber Audio Sushi at The Dogstar 389 Coldharbour Lane, London SW9 8LQ DJ Jeffrey Disaster may have an unfortunate name, but promises the best indie, electro, retro and pop tunes all night, just for you. For the hard-core jetsetter Fabric New Year’s Eve Party at Fabric 77a Charterhouse Street, London EC1M 3HN

Fabric remains King of the Nightclubs and promises a 12 hour dance session for an exceptional and memorable New Year’s Eve. For the one who loves recognising the name of the DJ Simian Mobile Disco NYE at XOYO 32-34 Cowper Street, London EC2A 4AP Because they are your friends and you will never be alone again, so come on. The XOYO venue has had a massive re-launch, making it an ideal, fresh location for a wild night. For the New Year hater Buttoned Down Disco’s F*ck New Year’s Eve Party at Koko,

1a Camden High Street, London NW1 7JE For those who don’t “do” NYE, this is the place to go – BDD throw their party one night early AND entry is free before 10pm if you RSVP. Win. For the alternative clubber Belle…poque Party New Year’s Eve Special at Village Underground 54 Holywell Lane, London, EC2A 3PQ Acrobats, courtesans and masked villains will be running amock to cabaret music and fancy cocktails, so if you’re looking for something a little bit different, look no further.

lifestyle

A LONDON NYE

arts

THE YEAR IN REVIEW language, once again showing just how universal Shakespeare is. Two other Shakespeare produc tions are worthy of note. Sir Nicholas Hytner has just won the Evening Standard Theatre Award for Best Director for Timon of Athens at the NT. I was less taken with it: sometimes it's just not possible to polish one of Shakespeare's stinkers, especially when he puts on a thinly-veiled banker-bashing interpretation that's like a hammer hitting a nut - Shakespeare's all cliches you know - onto a play where it doesn't really work. Far better is the new all-male Twelfth Night just transferred to the Apollo with Mark Rylance as

Olivia, and Stephen Fry as whatmust-surely-be the most dignified and least funny Malvolio ever created. Rylance is a joy though and you can't help but watch his performance and not think ‘Is this the best actor in the world? How does he do it!?’ Technically and emotionally he is sublime, and he defies anyone to produce a better Olivia. So often she is portrayed as solemn and in some sense, broken. Surely the best Twelfth Night I've ever seen and, it pains me to think this, very probably the best Twelfth Night I'll ever see.

Although a few Tate shows got lost in their own hypotheses (particularly the Pre-Raphaelites and Munch), they generally went from strength to strength, culminating in the terrific Tanks and Tino Seghal, ending the ten-year Unilever Series in sometimes breathtaking ways. Other personal highlights included Gillian Wearing’s Whitechapel retrospective and Jeremy Deller at the Hayward, the only

show I’ve ever been to where I was offered tea. And although I had reservations about Hockney’s Academy show, I was clearly in the minority. So overall, a fantastic year. Although with 2013 shows including David Bowie, Lichtenstein and Patrick Caulfield, 2012 is already looking so last year.

Books 2012 2012 and books can’t be talked

the Anglo-Centric shortlist, and concerns Yun Ling, the sole survivor of a Japanese prisoner of war. Dark and hauntingly emotional scenery prepare us perfectly for a tale of loss and remembrance that will stick with you for years.

2012 is Communion Town by Sam Thompson; a twisted pathway through 8 interlinking stories set in the Communion Town of the title. Portrayed as a sort of meta-London, it plays Dubliners-esque games with the city as an entity.

Booker prize winner, Bring Up the Bodies by Hilary Mantel shouldn’t have won. The sequel to 2008’s winner, Wolf Hall, is good, but it was a safe choice for all the wrong reasons. Instead, the The Garden of Evening Mists is rapidly becoming the Booker’s “second winner”, and quite rightly. Malaysian Tan Twan Eng’s second novel was a welcome break from

Elsewhere, J.K. Rowling bored us all to death with The Casual Vacancy, a casually vacuous attempt to follow up Harry Potter. The plotting is solid, perhaps too so, but the subject of the plot is truly dull. A shame, because I, like many, have Harry as an enduring memory of my childhood.

Max Edwards

Theatre 2012

You may think he's been topping the bill for the last five hundred years, and you'd be almost right: he was rather unpopular between 1650 and 1750 as it happens. Shakespeare once again took the lead in this year's theatrical triumphs. Just before the Olympics greeted our screens Shakespeare was performed by a series of world acting troupes. Globe to Globe, part of the Cultural Olympiad, saw 37 Shakespeare plays performed in 37 different languages by 37 companies. It was an extraordinary achievement attracting attendees beyond the performance

Art 2012

This year, big galleries took advantage of the cultural Olympiad and gave us fantastic shows from the V&A’s celebratory British Design and the stunning psychosexuality of Lucian Freud at the National Portrait Gallery (my highlight of the year) to the surprisingly good Hirst show and strongest Turner Prize in years.

about without briefly stopping off at porno-cum-chick-lit, Fifty Shades of Grey. Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s move on.

My personal favourite book of

James Sharpe

Sam Spenser

Interested in contributing to the Arts Section at Roar! next year? Feel free to contact our new arts editor, Max Edwards at arts@ roarnews.co.uk. We love receiving mail. So please send us a letter to the Roar! office, Chesham Building, Strand, London.

“I WANT TO BE THE WHITE WHOOPI GOLDBERG!” Luisa Omielan (Om-You-Lan) is an exciting new face on the comic scene. Blending a feminist critique of culture with physical comedy, held together and given structure by the songs of Beyoncé, her show What Would Beyoncé Do? is sure to make your cheeks ache with laughter! Following a sold-out run at Shoreditch’s Comedy Cafe, her show has been picked up by the Soho Theatre and will run from January 17th – 26th. (£12.50 up to 23rd, £17.50 after for students). Interview by Max Edwards

Beyoncé: What struck you enough to think of making a show revolving around her songs? I have always used WWBD?! As a motivational mantra to try and stop me from eating cake all day. I love music and dancing about, and I love comedy but I have a really short attention span and tend to lose interest pretty quickly, so I figured, why not join the two and have a party with jokes in! Your show, and much of your humour, is based around a down-to-earth, yet ostensibly feminist point of view. Would you say that this separates you from much of the comedy we see on television? I don’t know about separates; I just wanted to put together a show with my style of comedy and my style of humour. My show completely reflects me as an act: often in the past in short spots its difficult for audiences to jump on board, what’s nice about doing an hour is you really have time to play and invite people in your world. I would say I am no different to millions of ladies up and down the country talking and messing about with their friends, wetting themselves on nights out or late night phone chats. I’m just bringing that to the stage. Of has and ilar

those out there, who inspired you the most, who are you most sim(or most different!) to?

You throw in some serious things about suicide and depression as well, and manage not to take away from the par-

Not really, the show wrote itself. Everything in it is true. The show is my life from the last 12 months. If anything it is the opposite [of a struggle]: talking about the heavy stuff helped me get through it. When people laugh, you realise you are not alone and very ‘normal’. We are all layered as individuals, you might be really impatient, but then incredibly kind and giving. There lots of opposites in all our personalities. I just wanted to bring everything to the table with the show and be like “Ta Da”. It doesn’t have to make literal sense, (even though to me it completely does), just enjoy it for what it is. I walked out with my face hurting because I laughed so much. Is it as much fun up on stage as it is in the audience? Aww, I am delighted! Hell yes, I love it when the audience start dancing and singing and getting involved. It’s so much fun... seeing peoples’ flushed faces as they come out! It’s a real privilege and I don’t want to do anything else.

The show was a great hit at the Fringe, and sold out the Comedy Cafe in November. How did you feel to score such a hit in your debut solo show? Did the popularity and reviews create a pressure that wasn’t previously there? Not really, I have been super delighted with the feedback from the show. I’m sure when I do my next show that’s when the pressure will kick in because I will have something to compare it to. For me this was more about doing it for myself. It was my stamp on my kind of comedy and I was hoping that people that would like it, would LOVE it. That was my goal.. With the show being a success, do you plan on getting back to writing soon? To ride the wave as it were? Haha not yet, I am too busy riding this wave to worry about a second album. I’m sure that time and pressure will come. For now though, I have been working for a long time so I am just going to take the moment to be grateful and enjoy all the success from this one. Besides, the States hasn’t seen it yet.

arts

I want to be the white Whoopi Golderg! In terms of performers who inspire me, its people like Beyoncé, Cher, Whoopi, Steve Martin, Robin Williams. When I have a show, I want it to feel like a mini concert, to capture elation that you feel with music gigs yet with the high energy and physical humour of American greats!

ty atmosphere. Is it a struggle to write about such personal and deeply affecting things, in amongst the slightly surreal... (cow accents come to mind?)

careers

LESS HUMBUG, MORE HO HO HO THE CAREERS CHRISTMAS APPEAL It’s December. My walls are covered in damp; my clothes are potentially rotting as I write this, and my feet, despite being wrapped in two layers of socks and a pair of slippers, refuse to thaw. The John Lewis advert isn’t as good as last year and the Harrods Christmas windows have taken the Disney princess shenanigans a bit too far. I’m about as skint as Tiny Tim but without the free turkey feista from Scrooge and I haven’t started buying Christmas presents yet… My mother, on the other hand, is finished by the middle of October. EVERY. YEAR. Am I just getting a little bit old for this shit? I have forgotten to open my advent calendar two days in a row. My ten-year-old self would probably shoot me, before or after confiscating my advent calendar. But there are two things that still remain great about Christmas, and it’s not Iceland’s £1 Christmas canapés.

SAY NO TO CONSUMERIST CRAP. HELL YES, ART ATTACK. My flatmate has recently introduced me to the art of ‘alternative’ wrapping which essentially involves finding anything you have lying around your house and using it as wrapping paper. I recently wrapped a present in a cover of Time Out and tied it up with a piece of string. Think Maria VonTrapp and go all brown-paperpackaging-tided-up-with-strings! But it needn’t end there. Cards, presents and decorations can all be given the home-made touch. All you need is some lolly pop sticks, some glitter and a liiiiittle bit of faith. Why buy someone a photo frame when you can make them a photo jar? Homemade presents are the best kind of presents. And no one knows this better than Operation Christmas Child...

THE ONE WHERE PHOEBE HATES PBS Remember the episode where Phoebe tries to convince Joey that there is such a thing as a selfless act? Well, I’m now convincing you. Operation Christmas Child run a Shoebox Appeal every year which involves filling a shoe box with little goodies from pens to sweets, wrapping it up and sending it across the world to a friend in need. Visit http://www.operationchristmaschild.org.uk/ for more information about how to perform a truely, selfless good deed. Mary Davies If you would like to contribute to the careers section next year, then please feel free to contact our carreers editor, Mary Davies at marydavies_@hotmail.com. Thank you to everyone who has contributed so far!

SPREADING CHRISTMAS CHEER: KCLSU ENJOY VOLUNTEERING WEEK KCL’s inaugural Volunteering Week has been a celebratory occasion; a time to promote the diverse opportunities for volunteering both in King’s and across London, and to showcase the fantastic work that King’s volunteers already get up to. The week’s slogan (or should that be hashtag?!) was “Get Hands On,” and students across King’s campuses were encouraged to do exactly that with a packed calendar of events catering to both experienced and first-time volunteers. All

kinds of people and organisations got involved: as a Volunteer Ambassador I engaged with King’s students, KCLSU fundraising groups, awareness campaigns and volunteer groups, external voluntary organisations from across London, and even King’s Careers Service! The highlight of the week was the Volunteering Networking Event, an opportunity for students and organisations to shout out about their passions and meet potential volunteers,

and also enjoy some free food! The week ended on a high with a retro boogie at TruffAid, a chance to reward the hard work of all those who have got their hands stuck in making this week happen. We hope you’ve had fun, enjoyed the free food, and maybe even been inspired – and we look forward to hearing what you’ll get up to next at Volunteering Week 2013! Ginny Jenner

careers

sport

XMAS COMES EARLY FOR THE TAEKWONDO TEAM It looks like Santa came early this year for the KCL Taekwondo team, but it wasn’t a sexy adidas dobok , kicking pads or new knees that every Taekwondo competitor dreams about receiving: it was 8 beautiful medals! KCL Taekwondo entered 10 competitors into the Imperial College Open on the 18th of November (including some inspiring freshers) and we were showered in medals glittering bronze, silver and gold. Each competitor is pitted against rival university students who are the same gender, similar belt grades and within the same weight categories. Our King’s students fought ferociously against Gimperial, the godless scum of Gower Street and many other irrelevant universities. Both Antonio Gonzales and Abdinasir Ali successfully brought home the gold, snatching victory with beautifully executed round house kicks and head shots that would make Jackie Chan weep. As a recent Masters graduate, this was Antonio’s last opportunity to represent King’s and he certainly did not disappoint. KCL Taekwondo would like to applaud him for his dedica-

tion and excellent results. Abdinasir however, is still fresh on the block and we know he can still win that gold for us for years to come! Jahedul Hussain, Andy Jian and Luke Harding also won silver for King’s. A massive round of applause is needed for Jad winning silver in his first competition and especially Andy who only started Taekwondo with us in September! If you see them in Guy’s bar- please don’t hesitate to buy them a drink. Last, but certainly not least, Miwa Murai, Fahad Iqbal and Sebastian Ho got us three beautiful bronze medals. Seb, our awesome events officer, certainly made his fights an event worth watching. We would like to warmly welcome and congratulate Fahad, an intercalating student from Keele, who fought on behalf of King’s against the most built black-belts that even Father Christmas wouldn’t dare put on his naughty list. Miwa fought the fierce females in her first fight ever and represented King’s incredibly. She could certainly give any reindeer a red

nose with her ferocious kicks! So, girls, if you want to try out this magnificent sport, please don’t hesitate to contact us! You could be the next Jade Jones of King’s; Great Britain’s 2012 Olympic Gold Medal Winner for Taekwondo. Thank you so much to Kay Mo and Kiron Kabir who also represented us at the competition. All of this wouldn’t have been even remotely possible without the great and energetic coaching of Osita Arusiuka-Hill, Dirk Krüger and Kwok Wan. Please buy them a drink too (or a much needed vacation if you’re feeling generous). We hope to repeat our success at the Student Nationals in March 2013 where many of the UK’s universities will be competing. We’re always open to beginners and new members, so if you feel like joining, relieving some exam stress by kicking us or even just burning off those naughty holiday calories- please don’t hesitate to contact us and give Taekwondo a try. Let’s go gold next year!

KCL Taekwondo team at the Imperial College Open - a fantastic eight medal haul.

Luke Harding

SANTA’S VERDICT ON KCLFC WOMENS’ FOOTBALL

It’s been a dramatic season for the Womens’ Football team, with some crazy highs and lows. Fortunately, the good outweighed the bad thanks to the Christmas Pikkujoulet Party (all the rage in Finland apparently) which was hosted by Lisa and Johanna. The night can be best summarised by the following exchange... Miranda: “So are there any Finnish drinking games you know?” Lisa: “The Finnish don’t play, they just drink.” As for the lows, the girls experienced the most soaking match ever, a mysterious appearance by a GKTplayer and some seriously dodgy referees! Read on to find out Santa’s List for the girls of KCLFC... NAUGHTY

NICE

Gabs Bornstein: for being ridiculously upbeat during pre-match warm ups ‘you’re cold and hungover so you need to run around!’ and for making us all want to live in Australia!

Gemma Jones: for having more efforts on goal than anyone ever thought possible.

Miranda Evans: for making the defence laugh far too much while playing as keeper (ok, for making me laugh too much) and for threatening the very lives of Goldsmith’s little strikers!

Jessica Stone: for going back to America and being the only girl who has to be told to shut up in training! Tim Bouyer (a.ka. Coach): for leaving us too! We aren’t that much of a nightmare, honest…

Izzy Russell: for her extraordinary work in making sure we’re all in the right place, at the right time! Emma Grylle: not only did she survive a post birthday hangover to play in a new position, but she managed some pretty special moves in goal during a 13-0 victory (with a penalty save too!) And almost everyone for playing with an epic hangover at one point or another (though some of us more often than others…)

For everyone else, there’s still our Christmas social to decide which list you’re going to end up on… Happy Holidays from KCLFC and bring on the next season! Lydia Gray

sport

Johanna Rehn and Nina Liesenfeld: for leaving us at the end of the season (damn that Study Abroad scheme).

Rachel Byrne: for giving it her absolute all at initiation, and at every match since.

sport

THE GKT POEMS To the music of Winter Wonderland... Wednesday night, drinking Snakebite, Fancy dress, we all look shite, At Berrylands, On down to the strand, Walking in a Wednesday Walkabout. Leave the front, go to walkies, Ten time fitter than girls in Hockey, Our fav bouncer's bald, But we're out of the cold, Walking in a Wedneday Walkabout. At the bar the boys are being sleezey, Ordering triple vodka lemonade, We'll pretend that we are not that easy, But we're anyone’s, once One Directions played. No-ones looking very stable, Charlotte Hill’s fell off a table, Two in a loo, Bridger’s been sick on her shoe, Walking in a Wednesday Walkabout Maeve Keenan and Alex Green

To the music of the Twelve Days of Christmas... On the [Last Wednesday] of Christmas, Our Guy’s Bar gave to me: Twelve Fresher’s heaving, Eleven pints of downing, Ten subwoofers bouncing, Nine naughty nurses dancing, Eighty minutes queuing, Seven medics sweating, Six relationships breaking, Five shots of gin, Four brawling dentists, Three pedantic doorman, Two couples fornicating, And a rowdy night with GKT! Ben Brown Thank you to all our poets who contributed to this very special edition of Roar! sport. If you would like to read more poetry that even King’s alumnus, John Keats would be proud of, please visit the Roar! website.

GKT Uncovered: Naked Calendar in aid of RAG Guy’s campus is eagerly awaiting the arrival of the ultimate stocking-filler this Christmas: the ‘GKT Uncovered 2013’ naked calendar in aid of RAG. The ultimate chance to check out the finest sports teams and societies in the land, the calendar features high quality shots of the best that GKT has to offer (all in the best possible taste, of course) – and proves once and for all that

we’re hotter than the Strandies. If you don’t want to take our word for it, you’ll have to get hold of a copy for yourself – but be quick, as there are only a limited number available and (much like the GKT hockey girls) they’re in very high demand. To reserve your copy, email gktuncovered2013@ gmail.com with your name and how many copies you want – pre-

sumably one each for you and all of your friends. Calendars are just £6 with all of the profit going to RAG’s charities – including the Evelina Children’s Hospital, Guy’s Hospital Cancer Centre, and a number of KCL student charity groups. What more could you possibly ask for this Christmas?! Katie Allan

23 Ho Ho ... Ohh!!

sport

Merry Christmas, girls and boys from KCL football! Let’s be honest, this photo doesn’t need any description... Enjoy the holidays! Model: Stephen Falck, 3rd year Law.