37 minute read
Things
JANUARY 2021
WINTER FUN GUIDE, PGS. 44-59
FEATURES IN EVERY ISSUE
10 12 14 16 18 47 52
Tasty Treats Dear Teachers 5 Things Date Night Ask the Experts Word from Dad Craft Corner
SPECIAL SECTIONS
44 60
Winter Fun Guide Calendar of Events
22
Establish Rules Ways to set family rules that everyone can follow.
38
Embrace Quiet Seven ways to help calm the chatter in your home.
44
Have Fun 31 activities for family fun all January long.
Our cover features MacKenzie from Basehor. Photo by Melissa Rieke Photography. MelissaRiekePhotography.com
FREE | January 2021 | KCParent.com | Since 1985
ON THE COVER
Get Real Resolutions 24 Solutions to Sibling Strife 36 Calm the Chatter 38 Winter Fun Guide 44
SOLUTIONS TO sibling strife
WAYS TO calm THE CHATTER let it snow! KC’s #1 winter fun guide
GET REAL RESOLUTIONS
Editor Margaret Sarver and her brother, Bud, at the start of their lifelong friendship. At the start of each new year, so many people’s thoughts turn to resolutions and fresh starts. This year, in honor of my younger brother, Bud Clever, who passed away Oct. 27, 2020, my New Year’s resolution is to lead a “Bud Clever” life in 2021.
Bud was born in 1972 with many different heart issues. He endured multiple surgeries and hospitalizations throughout his life, with the last being a heart transplant on Aug. 13, 1999. He lived 21 years after his own heart had given out thanks to the generosity of another family we’ve never met. Because of all that he went through, he had a different perspective than most. The doctors didn’t really know how much time he had, so from an early age, Bud saw each day as a gift. His outlook was, “You can’t help the hand you’ve been dealt, but you can control how you play that hand.”
To say he lived life to the fullest would be an understatement. Every day for Bud was an adventure. That might mean seeing him cheering on team USA dressed as Uncle Sam or the Statue of Liberty. Or celebrating a Chiefs Super Bowl win with fireworks because he just happened to have some in his car. Or sending his niece a homemade graduation card, affixed with a wax seal and filled with confetti.
It would also be an understatement to say I miss him. He was my first friend and my lifelong friend. I have so many memories and we have shared so many adventures during his time here. As my younger daughter wisely said, “Mom, as long as we live the ‘Bud Clever’ life, he will never be forgotten.” So, here’s to 2021. May we all strive to lead a Bud Clever life.
Happy New Year, Kansas City!
Margaret Sarver, Editor
JANUARY 2021
Publisher Michael Gimotty Michael@KCParent.com Associate Publisher Darrell Dean Darrell@KCParent.com Editor Margaret Sarver Margaret@KCParent.com Art Director Kim Tappan Tappan Design Kim@KCParent.com Advertising Sales Debbie Clark Debbie@KCParent.com Darrell Dean Darrell@KCParent.com Digital Media Manager Kristina Light Kristina@KCParent.com Digital Media Intern Anna Hiestand Copy Editor Susan Crainshaw Susan@KCParent.com Distribution To be added to our distribution list, e-mail Distribution@KCParent.com
LOCAL CONTENT
Local Contributing Writers Bill Bartlett (Belton), Christian Barnes (Kansas City), Melissa Bellach (Overland Park), Hannah Berry (Kansas City), Emily Cline (Lenexa), Julie Collett (Overland Park), Janelle Cumro-Sultzer (Overland Park), Lauren Dreher (Stillwell), Judy Goppert (Lee’s Summit), Lauren Greenlee (Olathe), Christa Melnyk Hines (Olathe), Amy Hundley (Olathe), Kristina Light (Kansas City), Sarah Lyons (Olathe), Emily Morrison (Independence) Mailing Address 11936 W. 119th #335, Overland Park, KS 66213 913.782.3238 phone • 913.681.5139 fax
SOLUTIONS TO sibling strife
WAYS TO calm THE CHATTER OUR PRODUCTS
FREE | January 2021 | KCParent.com | Since 1985
let it snow! KC’s #1 winter fun guide
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SEARCH KCPARENT.COM FOR MORE AFFORDABLE FUN IDEAS:
1. Best of January
2. Cabin Fever Busters
3. Hot Cocoa Recipes
SPOTLIGHT
SLEDDING HILLS
Will January bring a lot of snow to Kansas City this year or just a little? When we do get some snow, check out KCParent.com for a list of great sledding hills all over KC!
LABOR & DELIVERY GUIDE Choosing the best hospital for the arrival of your baby is an important decision. Use the KCParent.com Labor & Delivery Hospital Guide to find the perfect location for you and your child. 4. Summer Fun in Winter
5. Kids Eat FREE
6. Family Game Night Ideas
7. KC Going Places Guide
8. Winter Sports
9. Coupons and Giveaways
10. Giving Back in KC
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to milk or it’s variation
Is milk your kiddo’s friend or foe? Either way, Jan. 11 is National Milk Day, the perfect time to celebrate the naturally creamy concoction or one of its modern alternatives.
Milk, hands down, has been the champion of the dairy aisle for decades. And with an innovative food industry addressing health concerns and environmental issues, modern times have brought forth other variations. Check out the table below to see which version of milk may benefit your kid’s needs the most. Who knows? Perhaps you and your KC family could venture out and incorporate another iteration into your menu. Variety is the spice of life!
MILK
Taste: Smooth and classic. Pros: Contains three simple ingredients: milk and vitamins A and D. It’s a high biological beverage, meaning it has all the essential amino acids needed for kids’ bone and muscle health. Classic white, chocolate and strawberry are all available options. Cons: Contains lactose, a sugar found in milk that some kiddos can’t tolerate.
SOY
Taste: Creamy consistency with a slight bean-like taste. Pros: Good all-around source of protein, calcium and vitamin D. Also heart healthy, because it’s made from plants. Flavor options are also available, which include vanilla and chocolate. Cons: Contains soy allergens that some kiddos cannot tolerate.
CASHEW
Taste: Very creamy because of the special creaminess of cashews Pros: Contains vitamin E, which helps your child’s immune system. Can purchase different flavors like chocolate. Cons: Low in protein.
COCONUT
Taste: Dense, creamy and rich. Pros: Naturally contains healthy fats. Cons: Low in good carbohydrates needed for kids’ energy levels.
RICE
Taste: Refreshing flavor with a hint of sweetness. Pros: Very nice option for multiple allergies. Is dairy-, nut- and soy-free. Cons: Low in protein.
PEA
Taste: Rich and creamy. Pros: Good source of plant-based protein. Nice overall option with a balance of macronutrients: protein, fat and carbohydrates. Cons: Plant-based proteins are an incomplete protein, which means they don’t contain all the essential amino acids the body needs to build protein.
ALMOND
Taste: Subtly smooth with a slight nutty tang Pros: Low in sugar and can be made at home. Chocolate and vanilla options are available for buying. Cons: Contains nut allergens. Also, low in protein.
EMBRACE MILK
Your child needs at least three servings of milk or its variation per day. Here are ways you can embrace it: • As a nutritious, refreshing drink—splash it down by the glass! • In cereal, muesli or oats. • In hot chocolate. • In smoothies. • In cooking and baking. • In soups, sauces or dressings.
Find your family’s favorite ways to make the most of milk’s merits!
Amy Hundley is a registered dietitian nutritionist, licensed in both Kansas and Missouri, and a published freelance nutrition writer. She is currently practicing as a clinical RD and has been a resident of Olathe since early childhood. Amy can be contacted at AmyHundley05@gmail.com. Sources: Institute of Medicine, USDA
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QA DEARTEACHERS &
BY PEGGY GISLER AND MARGE EBERTS
SUCCESS SECRETS IN CONTENT AREA SUBJECTS
QUESTION: My son is only in third grade and is having difficulty
understanding math, science and social studies. What can I do to help him handle these classes? – Help
ANSWER: The first thing you need to do is to determine with his teacher’s help exactly why he is having problems with these three subjects. Is it a reading problem? Is it possibly a learning disability? If it is one of these two problems, testing will need to be done to find the way to help him.
On the other hand, the problem could be that your son does not know the meaning of the new words that are being introduced in these content areas. Content area vocabulary begins to emerge in third grade and is the unique technical vocabulary used to teach the ideas, facts and skills of each content area subject. For example, understanding words like “fraction,” “numerator” and “denominator” is necessary to succeed in math.
The essential vocabulary of each content area is not easy to identify. These words are not usually found in basal readers nor on general vocabulary lists.
Most science and social studies and even math textbooks and e-books do give students obvious clues about the words needed to master these subjects. Typically, they are found in a list at the start of a chapter or in the end material of the chapter.
When your son starts a new chapter, look over the important chapter words with him. Choose a few each day and help him pronounce them and have him look up their meaning in the book’s glossary if there is one. Then to reinforce the learning of these words, you may wish to have him read assignments with you and look up again any words he cannot define for you.
It will further help him learn these words if he does all the exercises at the end of science and social studies chapters—even if they are not assigned. For further reinforcement and understanding of this new vocabulary, make it a point to discuss what he has learned in school every day while trying to use the new vocabulary words.
If learning the content words does not help him, then it’s time for another chat with his teacher.
CUTTING CHILDREN’S TIME ON MOBILE DEVICES
QUESTION: After their school closed last year,
my children spent most of their day online doing classwork, playing games and visiting with friends. Now that they are actually back in school, they still are spending a lot of time online. Why is it so difficult to get kids off computers and devices? – Any Suggestions
ANSWER: Right now, it is difficult to get children off computers and mobile devices because time on them was essential for schoolwork, communicating with their friends and amusing themselves during the height of the pandemic. This is no longer true.
Since your children have returned to school, it is important for you to wean them from the computer and mobile devices. They will, of course, have some schoolwork that must be done on the computer. This is fine. You can be sure that they are not playing games or visiting with friends if their schoolwork is done in a location where you can observe them.
Your children need to return now to doing activities outside the home like they did before quarantining at home: playing on sports teams, visiting friends and taking lessons in dancing, art or music. Living online is no longer necessary or particularly helpful to their development.
Decide with your children what a reasonable amount of time should be for them to spend online or with their mobile devices every day. Because being on phones and other devices is particularly addicting, it may be necessary for them to give you these devices after they have used them for the agreed upon amount of time.
“Our dog, Holly, barks to ask to go outside, but often, she vocalizes excessively. What would you recommend for curbing the extra vocalizations?”
– Jennifer Prentice
“This will sound counterintuitive, but for this behavior I recommend teaching Holly the ‘speak’ command. When you teach a dog the ‘speak’ command, you also teach her the ‘quiet’ command in the process. Use the ‘quiet’ command when you need her to be quiet and use the ‘speak’ command during play. ”
– Ashley Flores, CPDT-KA
“Why does my cat bite me? ”
– Rebecca Griffiths
“In most cases, cats bite when they are trying to communicate something to you such as not enjoying the interaction they are having with you or becoming overly stimulated due to the interaction. To make it more complicated, there are love bites. Love bites are when a cat is licking and gradually begins to nip. This is mimicked from their mothers when they are kittens. These bites normally do not draw blood. There are different kinds of biting and understanding what type your cat is doing is key to curbing unwanted mouthiness behavior from your feline.”
– Ashley Flores, CPDT-KA
“My dog, Remus, is constantly barking at delivery people. His hackles go up, he has a vicious bark, and will not stop, no matter how I try to calm him. He is normally very sweet and friendly with people he knows. I have tried taking him outside on a leash when a delivery person is present, but he reacts the same each time, even if he has seen the person several times and they give him treats. How do I get my sweet boy to stop being so reactive to new people both inside and outside our home?”
– Kevin McCoy
“It sounds like Remus has a combination of fear aggression and possibly territorial aggression. These behaviors are not abnormal but can be difficult for owners to work with. This behavior is easy to reinforce because dogs bark at the delivery person, the delivery person leaves once they drop off the package, and the dog believes the person left because of the barking. Dogs repeat this behavior thinking that the barking is scaring people off and often the barking becomes more severe over time. I recommend redirecting Remus’ behavior with high value treats by asking him to sit, and rewarding whenever Remus gives the attention to you. If Remus is over his threshold, meaning you cannot break his attention, you should practice at a further distance away. You can ask neighbors to practice this at different distances from your house so you can practice without him going over threshold. You can also teach Remus the ‘place’ command which involves teaching him to go to his ‘place’ when visitors and mail carriers come to the home.”
– Ashley Flores, CPDT-KA Does your dog need help with the basics?
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Ticonderoga Pencils
I love office supplies, specifically writing instruments. I like the feel of certain brands, the way they write and how the lead or ink shows up on paper. Yes, I am a nerd. Years ago I received the absolutely best pencils as a gift. Although I haven’t found those exact pencils since, I have found the Ticonderoga black pencils (not yellow) are pretty awesome. In White Noise fact, I hide them in my office so that they don’t When I sleep, I like to have a mysteriously walk away. If you like to write with fan running for the noise. My a pencil, give them a whirl! husband doesn’t like how it dries out his mouth, so he finally convinced me to look into a white noise machine. Seriously, why didn’t I do this sooner? Spoiler alert: because I’m stubborn. After much research, I settled on the Vanzon White Noise Machine, and it’s perfect. I found just the right sound out of the more than 30 to choose from. The machine 5THINGS WE RIGHT NOW LOVE is the smallest thing ever Lessons from Lucy and will be so easy to take Compiled by Margaret Sarver I am a big fan of humorist with me on my next trip. Dave Barry. My very favorite Now, we both sleep better! piece of his is “Bang the Amazon.com Tupperware Drum Slowly.” Stop now, Google it and enjoy. One of his most recent books, Lessons from Lucy, not only features that Zum Lip Balm Dave Barry wit and humor If your house is like mine, I love, but also includes you have a plethora touching stories and life of random lip balms lessons he’s learned from scattered throughout. his dog, Lucy. It’s an easy So when my husband read, a touching read, and recently gifted me with contains such simple lessons a couple more, I figured we all need to be reminded I’d just add them to the of. Do yourself a favor collection. Whoa, baby, and grab a copy today. was I wrong! I fell in love DaveBarry.com with the Zum Kiss lip balms he brought home. I’ve Jumble Word Game got wild tangerine and I love words, so I’m guessing it’s no coincidence that grapefruit, and not only both my career and my free time activity of choice do they smell tropical, but revolve around words. When I have a few minutes of they make your lips super downtime, I love to play Jumble word games. In fact, smooth. My girls love them I keep a copy in my car, one in my bedroom, one in as well! IndigoWild.com the family room and one in the kitchen so I can pick up and solve a few scrambled word problems any time! Great for when you are pool- or oceanside! PennyDellPuzzles.com
Mid-Continent Public Library Six New Year’s Resolutions for the Family
The New Year has finally arrived! If your family is drafting its resolutions for 2021, here are six goals that Mid-Continent Public Library can help you check off the list!
Fine Tune Your Healthy Habits
Find family-friendly resources for physical and emotional wellness through MCPL’s video streaming services, or search the MCPL catalog for books or DVDs like Yoga for Kids: Mind and Body. You can even create a family workout playlist with MCPL’s free music streaming service, Freegal. For healthy recipes that even the pickiest eaters will love, check out the latest cookbooks in the Library’s collection, and digital issues of culinary magazines from RBdigital.
Find Your Roots!
Show the kids where they come from this New Year by tracing your family history with help from MCPL’s Midwest Genealogy Center. Start by downloading free, kid-friendly family tree forms at mymcpl.org/Genealogy, and use the wide range of online and in-person resources to fill them in!
Rock that Report Card
If your kiddos’ resolutions include improving their grades, the Library offers a variety of online resources that can help, including Live Homework Help from Tutor.com, which connects students to a live tutor who can help with nearly any subject. Visit mymcpl.org/ Homework for a full list of resources. Money Management for the Family
Money management skills are an important part of life, and it’s never too early to start learning! Use the Library’s TumbleMath online resource to teach young children about “money math” or resources like Morningstar Investment Research Center for older kids (and even a refresher for yourself!). Visit mymcpl.org/PersonalFinance for a full list of resources. And don’t forget, a great way to save money is by using the free resources at your local Library!
Get Along Better with the Family
After a stressful past year, many families are feeling the strain. If you and the kids are looking for ways to be more supportive of one another and improve your communications, consider checking out a self-help book, or take a free online class, such as Positive Parenting Techniques through MCPL’s Universal Class. For fun family time, explore books, movies, and music everyone will enjoy at mymcpl.org.
Explore Different Cultures
While traveling abroad is still out of the question for many families, you can bring cultural experiences to your home with help from the Library! Find books and movies about different cultures in the Library’s collection and additional information through online resources like CultureGrams. Find recipe books or free online cooking classes through the Library to try making different foods, and learn a new language with Mango Languages and Muzzy Online.
Resolve to make 2021 your family’s best year yet with help from Mid-Continent Public Library! Learn more about how the Library can support your resolutions at mymcpl.org/NewYears
DATES WITH LETTER O
“O”h boy! It’s time to plan your monthly date night!
OSTERIA IL CENTRO For almost 25 years now, Osteria il Centro has been serving up some of Kansas City’s finest Italian food. Being that their sister restaurants are Eggtc. and Minsky’s, we just knew it had to be good. It’s a small place with comfortable, intimate seating and Italian artwork adorning the walls. Their weeknight happy hour features half-price appetizers and select glasses of wine for $8. The restaurant is open for dinner only Monday through Saturday and closed on Sundays. We enjoyed kicking off our meal with salads, wine and focaccia bread, which is to die for! For his entree, my husband had salmon with cilantro beurre blanc, saffron risotto and almond green beans. The green beans were absolutely delicious and perfectly cooked. I opted for the spaghettini della casa with chicken, of which I savored every bite. I am not a big meat eater, but I really loved the chicken. And because of the portion size, I was able to enjoy leftovers twice!
OVERLAND PARK ARBORETUM Open year-round and boasting of 300 acres to be explored, the Overland Park Arboretum entertains explorers, both young and old. I had been wanting to go check it out for the past several years, so we finally made it happen when we attended their ever-popular Luminary Walk this past December. We enjoyed the lights, the candle-lit walk through the winter woods and the large model train exhibit (plus the heat lamps and campfires!). There were also several “selfie spots” which were fun. But the Luminary Walk is just one of many events held at the Arboretum each year. They have everything from light and sound shows to lawn and garden events, as well as yoga, candlelight strolls and wine tastings. Plus, they have hiking trails for those looking for some serious exercise. It’s a long drive for us from north of the river, but it was definitely worth a visit.
OUTLAW JIM & THE WHISKEY BENDERS Outlaw Jim & the Whiskey Benders is an outlaw country band with sounds that beckon to Merle Haggard and Waylon Jennings. They also have been influenced by southern rock and New Orleans funk. The band travels extensively in the Midwest and South, but they call Kansas City home. You can see them play at various venues around the area, both indoors and out. Most recently, they were at Knuckleheads, a very popular music venue in town. Their complex houses four different stages and is a fantastic place to see a show! Outlaw Jim & the Whiskey Benders play original songs and sing-a-long favorites. If you like country music, especially the older stuff, then you will definitely like them. It makes for a great date night, and their music is guaranteed to get your toes tappin’.
Hannah Berry is a freelance writer who lives with her husband in Kansas City. They enjoy regular date nights and love trying new restaurants and activities.
FOR GREAT DATE NIGHT IDEAS STARTING WITH A-N, HEAD TO KCPARENT.COM!
Free(or cheap)Ideas IN KC THIS WINTER
Looking for KC family fun on the cheap? Celebrate the winter season with these free and cheap Kansas City area ideas!
1Watch fish in the aquariums at
Cabela’s (913.328.0322) or Bass Pro (816.795.4300). 2 Visit Mahaffie Stagecoach Stop & Farm that is especially fun on snowy Saturdays when horse-drawn sleigh rides are offered—weather permitting. 3 Tour the Roasterie and learn about coffee. Learn the history, take a walk along our Green Coffee Mile, sample our coffee and watch a brewing demonstration. It’s all things coffee in one place. 4 Appreciate art at free first Fridays in the Crossroads. 5 Explore the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art. 6 Visit the animals indoors at Lakeside
Nature Center. 7 Step back in time at the Lanesfield
School Historic Site. The museum is open on Fridays and Saturdays and tells the story of a typical 20thcentury school day. 8 Marvel at modern art at the
Nerman Museum, where admission is free. 9 Take a winter hike at Ernie Miller
Nature Center. 10 Visit the National Archives of Kansas City and explore their free exhibits. 11 Build a no-cost project at Lowe’s or Home Depot. Both offer free workshops on select Saturdays. 12 Get free money at the Money
Museum. 13 Learn about nature at the Martha Lafite Thompson Nature Sanctuary. 14 And remember to search Free
Events on our Kansas City calendar, where you’ll find free (and cheap) things to enjoy every day.
Want More in Life?
Here’s a way to experience the joy of parenthood and help children
4,000 Kansas City area children are in crisis due to child abuse, neglect or other family challenges. The need for new foster and adoptive parents is greater than ever.
Whether you are single or married, own or rent your home, have children already or don’t, work full-time or stay home, you may qualify. We provide free training, 24/7 support, and monthly reimbursement to meet the child’s needs.
Contact us to learn more. (888) 655-5500 | www.kvckansas.org
Let our family take care of your family!
Kid friendly environment serving infants through adults
Providing Family & Pediatric Dentistry
6004 N. State Route 9, Parkville, Missouri 64152 (816) 746-KIDS (5437) www.parkvillepediatricdentistry.com
Dr. Rachael Graue Board Certified Pediatric Dentist Dr. J. Reese Graue General Dentist
MEET THE EXPERTS
We have a wide range of experts on hand to answer your questions on everything from dental visits and playdates to dance lessons, lawns and so much more! If you have a question that needs answering, get in touch.
Dr. Jeremy Fry FRY ORTHODONTICS At Fry Orthodontics, we have been providing superior service to patients of all ages for more than 40 years while helping them achieve a healthy and beautiful smile. 913.469.9191, FryOrthodontics.com Megan Maciel KVC KANSAS KVC Kansas provides heart-centered services to children and families through in-home family support, foster care, adoption, behavioral health care and children’s psychiatric hospitals. 913.499.8100, Kansas.kvc.org
Barbara Nickless SYLVAN OF KANSAS CITY Sylvan offers a wide range of tutoring for every age and grade from pre-K through college, to meet your child’s individual needs and goals. 816.468.7900, locations.sylvanlearning.com/us/kansascity-mo Ram Chettiar, DO CHILDREN’S MERCY HOSPITAL Children’s Mercy is one of the nation’s top pediatric medical centers. With hospitals and specialty clinics in Missouri and Kansas, we provide the highest level of care for children. 816.234.3000, ChildrensMercy.org
ASK THE EXPERTS...If you have a question, send it our way and we’ll ask one of our experts to answer. Email editor@kcparent.com and put “Ask the Experts” in the subject line. As always, please consult your health care provider with any medical questions or concerns.
Q
What’s the best age for my daughter to get braces?
It is best to have an evaluation with an orthodontist by the age of 7. At age 7, most patients don’t need treatment, but we ensure all of the teeth are growing correctly and build a relationship. At Fry Orthodontics, we aim to have the orthodontic experience take the shortest time possible. This goal means that most patients have braces only once when all of the adult teeth are grown. For girls, that age is usually between 11 and 12, and for boys it is between 12 and 13. There are different philosophies among orthodontists about doing braces or “expanders” or “spreaders” earlier than 11-13 years old. We believe that these options usually are unnecessary to get a beautiful healthy smile in the end. Dr. Jeremy Fry Fry Orthodontics
Q
My child is always procrastinating when it comes to getting homework completed. What can I do to help?
We aren’t born master jugglers (homework, practice, etc.), but time management and organization are teachable. At Sylvan, we say goodbye to procrastination with: 1) Academic Planners–Track homework, tests, and extracurriculars (paperbased/electronic); 2) Monthly, Weekly, and Daily Calendars–Plot big events monthly, commit time weekly for complex tasks, and make daily to-do lists; 3) Uncovering Teacher Expectations–Ask about homework, tests/quizzes, grades, and participation; 4) Real-Time Grades–Record scores in academic planner or grade tracker; and 5) Project Planning–Divide tasks, assign deadlines. Be involved. Encourage. Don’t give up; start with one tool at a time. You may find your child learns better from another person–Sylvan teachers can help your child develop life-long skills. Barbara Nickless Center Director, Sylvan of Kansas City North
Q
What is the main goal of foster care?
Foster care is a temporary arrangement for children and teens when their parents or caregivers are going through crisis. When youth cannot remain safely in the home, child welfare agencies work diligently with the family to resolve the conflicts or disruptions that resulted in the child entering foster care through intensive family-centered services. The primary goal is to return the child to their home with additional supports in place for the family. Foster families come alongside the biological family to provide support while the family is in crisis, provide a stable home environment for the children and teens, and model appropriate parenting. Megan Maciel Director of Recruitment and Communication, KVC Kansas
Q
How much screen time is okay for kids?
With kids’ virtual learning and activities, we find ourselves overwhelmed with screen time. Data shows that kids are spending about 50 percent more time in front of screens than before the COVID-19 pandemic. Typical age-appropriate limits: • Under 18 months: no screen time except video chatting with loved ones • 18 months to 2 years old: 1 hour per day of high quality educational content, co-watching with adult • 3 to 5 years old: 1 hour per day • 6 to 10 years old: 1.5 hours per day • 11+ years old: 2 hours per day But during these unprecedented times, screen time guidelines are not always possible or reasonable to follow. Instead of focusing on the amount of time spent, focus on how to make screen time more meaningful. Ram Chettiar Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, Children’s Mercy
SPEED UP THE DAWDLER
During my time as an elementary teacher, I’ve worked with my share of dawdling kids. You know the ones: Nothing seems to get those little feet moving any faster no matter how many times you say, “Hurry up!” Because I tend to be an impatient person, the experience can be utterly frustrating. So imagine my surprise when my firstborn came along and seemed to have no sense of urgency; rather, he seems to embrace the concept of stopping to smell the roses a little too much!
I’ve noticed that all my last-minute, harried prompts to rush a child don’t really help much. In fact, the more a person does it, the less kids seem to notice or respond to it! Getting your crew out the door—and fully dressed and fed—can be tricky, so here are some tips to get everyone where they need to be on time:
Plan ahead. Getting to bed on time the night before; prepping clothes, lunches and other supplies; and getting up on time are must-do’s when hoping to get out the door the next morning on time. If you find yourself stuck in a pattern of late a.m. departures, see what you can do the night before to set you and your family up for success!
Set clear expectations. Take the time to discuss expectations with your children before you are in the heat of the moment. For example, the night before a school day, start talking about what you will do in the morning and what your child’s responsibilities are. Discussing the morning routine before heading to bed means fewer last-minute surprises for your children and more time for them to process what the morning will look like.
Explicitly teach and model your
expectations. Adults often forget that children, especially younger ones, may not know exactly what we mean when we make a request or understand exactly how we want something done. Simply taking the time to clearly describe and do a task yourself will clarify your expectations. For example, model getting socks and shoes out and putting them on. Then, have your child practice following your example while you provide praise. Remind him that this is what you expect to see in the morning when you ask him again. Practicing often makes perfect!
Timing is everything. Especially as you first begin teaching and practicing expectations, be sure to start getting ready to go a few minutes early. It’s not always possible, but if you can do it, it’s worth it.
Keep consistent routines. This takes away any confusion about your expectations. Once the getting-ready-togo steps are done regularly, they become an automatic routine for your child! Children thrive on a consistent schedule. You want to avoid your routine being a harried morning with constant nagging; replace it with a calm routine where everyone knows what is expected.
Provide your child with choices.
Some days they don’t want to eat the breakfast you prepared or wear their jackets when it’s chilly. When I’m in a hurry, I tend to just grab something, and if my child doesn’t want my choice, a power struggle is likely to ensue. Instead, provide a choice between two options: “Which jacket do you want to wear today, the gray or blue one? Giving your children a voice and choice in the routine gives them some control and can eliminate arguing.
Praise, encourage and prompt.
Be specific with your praise and let your children know what they are doing well! “Good job getting your socks and shoes on! Now you need to go get your backpack.” Prompting with direct cues rather than nonspecific “hurry up” phrases sends a clearer, calmer message that your little ones are more likely to respond to.
Create a checklist or visual prompts.
Younger children may especially benefit from seeing and tracking the steps to get ready to go somewhere. Teach them how to use a checklist or create other visuals that outline the steps needed to get ready to go to school, church or practice.
Putting these steps in action can go a long way toward getting your family out the door on time and with less stress! Just remember, everyone has off days. When things aren’t going your way, remain calm, take a deep breath and refocus.
Emily Cline lives in Lenexa with her husband, 4-year-old son and new baby girl. She is an instructor of education at a local university and blogs about motherhood at EmilysLittleLoves.com.
Get organized to save time!
Good organizational systems at home can support your routines. Set aside certain spots where your child can expect to do a task when leaving or arriving home. Use this short checklist to see whether you have common household areas set up to use with your child when practicing expectations: • A place to keep shoes and put them on and take them off • A place to hang jackets and coats • A place to keep school backpacks, folders and books • A place to store sports, dance, music or other practice gear • Seasonal items: A place to keep swimwear, towels and pool bag, and a place for cold weather items, such as snow boots and hats
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family rules everyone can follow
Anyone else have a love/hate relationship with rules? Just about everything seems to have a set of rules or at least guidelines to live by, some type of parameters that can be enforced. We parents set rules to keep our families safe, secure, healthy and kind in particular ways. But let’s be real, the times for enforcing those rules seem to crop up most inconveniently. Of course, we already know parenting isn’t easy and there’s no simple instruction manual for how to raise good kids, so we do our best. And that means rules.
But rules are tricky. Even though we all have them, only a few seem to overlap. Every family upholds different rules. It’s hard enough at home when you have to enforce your standards, frequently dropping everything to do so. It’s harder still when you’re outside your home and you must enforce someone else’s rules. Kids wonder why they, all of a sudden, can do something they weren’t allowed to do before and vice versa.
Teaching rules to our children is a monumental challenge. Tots are learning so much, but they don’t always have the understanding to grasp why they can or cannot do something. Babies and toddlers test every rule as much as they can because they think it’s a game. That constant testing often wears us down or winds us up so tight we lose our tempers. And as kids get older, they sometimes choose to disobey the rules even though they know better. I’ve heard multiple kids tell me, “I don’t care if I get in trouble. I want to do this anyway.” Sound familiar to anyone? Certainly, there are exceptions, but it seems that the older kids get, the more they like to push, bend and manipulate the limits.
Below are some rules that seem to apply to many families. See which ones you have in common—and maybe get some fresh ideas, too.
SAFETY FIRST. No matter what ages your kids are, they are physically clumsy but intent on testing some type of boundary. Learning to walk, climbing stairs, riding bikes, scaling heights, going fast on something—these are just a few of their adventures. Their explorations naturally require some safety rules, guidelines about crossing streets and parking lots, following speed limits (if you have teen drivers) and getting adult supervision around sharp objects or fire.
I laugh a little as I write this safety part, because I think this is common sense stuff.
But the more I observe people—myself included—the more I see that basic safety isn’t always foremost in people’s minds. I too often find myself running after my own kids, friends’ kids or my nieces and nephews because I was distracted by general busyness. And every parent feels like a broken record at times, shouting warnings to kids who start to dart into the street after a ball or fail to watch for cars while they’re riding bikes.
PICKING UP AFTER THEMSELVES.
When I was a kid, I was terrible at this. My room was never clean. It’s been a life lesson for me that keeping things picked up is a good rule of thumb—but it’s easier said than done. With all their activities and the general distractions of childhood, kids move rapidly from one thing to the next, and so do we parents! We all function better, though, when we operate in a reasonably tidy environment.
The earlier you can get kids into the habit of picking up after themselves the better. The family will step on fewer sharp edges and be able to find things quickly when they’re needed. Recognize that you’ll have exceptionally long days and weeks—or returns from trips—that will just overwhelm your home with clutter. That’s life. But work at chipping away at the chaos and cultivate little habits of tidiness in your family. You’ll create a semblance of order, and everyone will appreciate the peace and relief that brings.
RESPECTING OTHERS. Whether we are in public or behind closed doors, respecting others and their things is always a good rule to follow. From an early age, our children need to see us honoring the humanity of others, respecting their beliefs and treating their possessions with care. We also have to actively teach those attitudes and behaviors. We teach kids at a young age to share their toys or snacks. We teach them to try not to break things. (Kids are hard on everything, so that’s a real feat.) We teach them to speak kindly and respectfully and listen empathetically, no matter who the other person is—just like they’d want to be treated. Following the old Golden Rule doesn’t come naturally, but the effort we spend teaching it is worth it.
Rules are easy to break and frustrating to enforce but so necessary. One thing I’ve learned is rules work better, and kids follow them better, if everyone follows them—including the adults. Kids learn by example and by consistent instruction and enforcement. They may not always understand rules are there for their own good and protection, but we parents need to give them the boundaries and structure they need to thrive as growing humans and, someday, independent adults. Think through the rules and values you want to teach your kids, then be purposeful as a family about building those habits. You’ll be laying a solid foundation.
Lauren Dreher lives in Stilwell with her husband and two toddlers.
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