Raising Independent Kids

“The greatest gifts you can give your children are the roots of responsibility and the wings of independence.” – DENIS WAITLEY

We can’t wrap our kids in bubble wrap and then expect them to be self-sufficient. How do we raise independent children while still allowing our children to be kids? How do we prepare our children for being self-sufficient adults? One of the big goals we parents should have for our children is for them to become as self-sufficient as possible.

No matter your child’s current age, you can always find ways to set the groundwork for them to become more independent. First, let’s take a look at toddlers, who, by nature, are our little explorers. We parents have great intentions as we tell our kids no, of course. We worry about their safety, health and wellness. What if instead of saying no, we try to focus on yes? Yes, let’s feed the dog. Yes, let’s pick up our toys. Yes, let’s set the table. At this age, welcome their willingness and do things side by side. Yes, let’s feed the dogs together!

Teaching children from a very young age to help with household responsibilities not only gives children responsibility-building tasks, but also helps build a sense of selfworth from the start. Try to focus on the mindset that this is our home, and we all are responsible to take part in making sure we look after it. This builds ownership and independence for everyone in your family. I know it takes more work to teach a toddler to sit and fold washcloths than to just fold them yourself. Teaching independence is hard work! The sooner you start, the easier it will be.

As children get older and into middle and high schools, increase their responsibilities. Come at it from two angles. First, focus on what your children love to do. Have kids who love to mess around in the kitchen? Perfect! Teach them to make dinner a few nights a week. Once they are in that routine, add on additional responsibilities related to cooking. Maybe it’s doing the dishes, planning meals or making a grocery list. Are your kids good on the computer as well? Have them do the online grocery ordering since you can always add or delete items before the order is placed. Teach them to reorganize the fridge and the pantry. Teach them all the roles and responsibilities around the one main thing they enjoy. Focusing on what they want to do will set everyone up for success. Of course, kids won’t enjoy every aspect, but really who does? Can you see the pride building in your children as they become better and better with tasks they enjoy?

Once your kids have gotten into their new routine of doing the things they enjoy, talk with them about what they find super challenging. This, of course, is the harder side to tackle. One example that comes to mind is a lot of children find making phone calls challenging. Today, we often send a text or email and call it good, but learning

this skill is important. Help children master the phone by setting up appointments for anything and everything. Maybe they need a haircut, so you might chat with them about checking the household calendar for ideal times for them to go. They might need to practice the conversation with you or even hear you make an appointment on speaker phone a few times first. We all have so many appointments, and teaching your children to set up their own appointments early will help them in the long run. Even most entry level jobs have some sort of phone related tasks, and by starting early the process of making phone calls, you are teaching your children to be that much more independent.

Your kids may not need work on phone skills, but the list of life skills adults need is long. Pick something together, then help your youngsters master that step to independence. Most young adults need help learning about managing money, applying for jobs and buying a car or house. The great thing is you do not have to be the expert in

all of these areas to help your child learn these skills. What better way for teens to learn about buying a new car than having them there with you when you buy a new car? If you don’t feel knowledgeable about a topic you want to teach your children, find someone who is able to teach you together.

What if you are short on time, energy or hands to teach? Have an older sibling instruct a younger one or ask Dad to teach a kiddo. I love a perfectly folded sheet, but you know what I love more? My husband and my son. Who really cares if their folded sheet isn’t as tidy as mine? If my husband is teaching our son to do something, I could care less about perfection!

In addition to helping your children learn to manage new tasks, it is also important to understand there will be mistakes. As hard as they are to watch, mistakes are really a teaching and learning opportunity for both sides. Your children will learn more about how the mistake is handled than about the actual mistake itself. Give kids some room to try to figure things out first. Then, when needed, help solve the problem instead of just fixing it. Fixing things in the moment for struggling kids is so much easier, but in the long run, so much growth comes from the learning to figure things out. Help your children develop the confidence to take a leap, knowing you will be there with a net if they do fall.

No matter your children’s ages it is never too early or too late to start teaching them about responsibilities to help mold them into responsible and independent people. Just start somewhere with something and build from there. Yes, there will be mistakes along the way, but what better way to learn than to learn together as a family!

Janelle Cumro-Sultzer lives in Overland Park with her husband, son and two dogs. Janelle is a former health care executive director and is a mediator in Kansas, helping families in conflict. She loves to focus on learning through play and getting messy with crafts.

1ST SATURDAY EVENTS July – September 16TH ANNUAL HARVEST FESTIVAL October 3rd | 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. KIDS SAFE HALLOWEEN October 24th | 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. THE WILDERNESS RUN November 7th | 9 a.m. VISIT FROM ST. NICHOLAS December 12th | 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. SHOAL CREEK LIVING HISTORY MUSEUM 7000 Northeast Barry Road Kansas City, MO 64156

816.792.2655

Go on a virtual visit to the museum and discover resources to LOOK, LEARN, LISTEN & CREATE. nelson-atkins.org

Simple Tips and Tricks for Organizing Photos

Take a look at your photos just from today and delete ones that don’t make the cut. Make this a habit while you’re relaxing in the evenings, so you only keep your best photos to organize.

Are you behind on organizing your family’s photos? You’re in good company! With the rise in technology and the ease and accessibility of cameras on our smartphones, the sheer number of photos is overwhelming. So how do you come up for air in the sea of photos? Luckily, we do have some ideas and resources for you.

First, start with today, really. Take a look at your photos just from today and delete ones that don’t make the cut. Make this a habit while you’re relaxing in the evenings, so you only keep your best photos to organize. Depending on your time, patience and volume of pictures, continue deleting any photos you don’t wish to keep. Then if you have Amazon Prime, you can back

them up using their photo app on your phone. Then a never-ending project for me is to catch up on years past by going back and weeding out my photo folders on my computer. If you have non-digital photos you’d like to digitize and be able to organize too, check out a service like LegacyBox.com.

Second, decide how and why you would like to organize your photos. Do you have a computer and hard drive you’d like to copy and paste them to? Do you want to organize them in the cloud? Do you want to make prints or print photo books? Or maybe you would just like to organize them better right on your phone.

Personally, I am old school and like to put them in folders on my computer and also back them up on an external hard

drive. Ideally, I periodically plug my phone into my computer and copy and paste all my photos into folders. As for my folder system, I like to keep it as simple as possible. I create a new folder for each year on my PC and add monthly folders labeled with numbers first so they stay in order, for example “5 May 2020.” That method makes it easy to find certain photos when your kids start to need actual printed photos for school projects. Then I weed through those photos and delete and maybe even edit some. Sometimes I even make subfolders for birthday parties or for photos I want to print out.

Photographer and mother of three Terri Demarest says, “I have a folder for each season/year. So ‘fall 2019’ is an example of one folder’s title. In that, I have subfolders if we go on a special vacation (such as one for ‘Arizona’), and then the kids’ yearly photos get a folder (‘Everett 6YO’). The rest of the photos are in the main folder ‘fall 2019.’ I also put videos in a separate folder there too and then all phone pics are in a folder called ‘phone pics,’ which are both still subfolders for the main year/season.” Demarest says a seasonal reminder is helpful to remember to order new prints and back up her photos.

Jennifer Schmidt, mother of two, has yet another technique to organize her family’s photos. “Every event is in its own folder within the computer’s photos folder and labeled date first (year, month, day), such as ‘2014.06.13’ plus the name of the event. As you scroll down, the folders become more recent. Then each of my kids has their own separate folder within the main photos folder. Then I take photos that just my daughter, Haddie, is in and put them in subfolders in her folder, even if the photos are from the same thing like a trip to the zoo. The photos of my son, Mason, go in his separate folder, and Haddie’s go in hers. Then I have a whole other folder in the ‘photos’ folder for that event that have photos of both of them together. I do split photos up from the same event, which I’m sure would drive some people crazy, but I like my system and I’ve done it since before the kids were bor,n so it’s easy to keep up with. My thought process is, if I ever need pictures of just Mason or just Haddie, it’ll be easy to find them!”

That leads to the discussion of prints and the importance of displaying family photos in your home. An article on DesignAglow. com showcases the importance of displaying family photos. “It lets children learn who they are and where they fit,” says Judy Weiser. a psychologist, art therapist and author based in Vancouver. “They learn their genealogy and the the uniqueness of their own family and its story. When a child sees a family portrait with them included in the photograph they say to themselves, ‘These people have me as part of what they are, that’s why I belong here. This is where I come from.’”

But getting behind on actually printing physical copies of photos happens so easily. It’s just another line item on the to-do list, right? But if we would just sit down and take 10 minutes, we would be able to check that box and feel accomplished. Especially if our photos were already organized! Many businesses offer photo printing services with varying levels of quality, price and accessibility, such as CVS, Walgreens, Shutterfly.com and Mpix.com. So get those frames updated with fresh prints and see the delight on your family’s faces when you relive special memories together. Small photo books can be a fun gift for your children in stockings or Easter baskets or just because. They make nice gifts for grandparents and other family members too. Services like Chatbooks.com or subscriptions like GrooveBooks.com help you make small photo books from your phone and mail them right to your door

Personally, I made my children a baby book of each one’s first year using Shutterfly and then liked my neighbor’s idea of printing a family yearbook each year. I used Shutterfly for my first few and now am frustratingly years behind. I simply go in chronological order, giving each month a different background color. These books are such treasures to look back on the life you are building and living with your family. Demarest also makes a family yearbook using Artifact Uprising.

If you know me, you know I love a good podcast episode. An exceptional one about photo organizing is episode 41 on Laura Tremaine’s 10 Things to Tell You with guest Miss Freddy. This was my introduction to MissFreddy.com, and she is a wealth of knowledge and services available to help you get a handle on your photo organization.

So keep taking those photos and know that you can have a plan of action to maintain some order with them. Our children’s lives are incredibly well documented, and it really does bring me so much joy to look back on those moments both big and small. The key is to find a way that makes sense to you and that you will be able to maintain. I feel like this ties in with personality types a lot—but that’s an article for another day.

Stephanie Loux is the mamarazzi to Layla, 9 1/2, Mason, 8, and Slade, 5, who dabbles in photography and is grateful for her handy phone to capture her children’s childhood. She may have also made an entire photo book of her golden retriever, Thor, too.

Itruly believe that boredom can be a gift for our kids because it forces them to get creative—and get along. It never hurts to put a few fun suggestions in front of them to get them started. Some of the following ideas kids can do on their own, and some you’ll want to get involved in.

Lego Masters. Break out the Legos because kids of all ages can get in on this one. Start by taking turns tossing out ideas for things to build. If you’re stuck, you can find great ideas on printable Lego cards online. For example, you might tell the kids to build a refrigerator, then everyone tries their best to build one. Everyone’s creation will be different, so it’s not really a competition, but it’s fun seeing what everyone comes up with! After you’re done building, pop some popcorn and turn on Lego Masters (Hulu).

Art show. Kids love to draw and color! I have tons of artwork on my fridge, but how about really showcasing their special artwork of the day? All you need is a long piece of thin rope or yarn strung from one end of a room to another. Hang finished pictures using clothespins, pretend you’re having a grand gala opening, serve some snacks, and you have an art show! Bonus activity: Get some canvases, paint and a variety of paintbrushes, so the kids can create art to hang on your wall that can be switched out with other pieces they’ve created.

Play-dough. This one just takes a few minutes of your help, and then the kids can take off on their own, creating for hours. You could always just buy the stuff, but here’s a simple recipe, as well. Pair with a rolling pin and cookies cutters for even more fun!

1 c. flour ½ c. salt 1 c. water 1 T. oil 2 t. cream of tartar Food coloring

Mix all ingredients, except food coloring, on low heat in a pan. Once the consistency is that of play-dough, take pan off heat, let cool, then add food coloring a few drops at a time. Knead until the color is all mixed. Grab some cookie cutters and other kitchen items and let the fun begin! Store in air-tight containers or baggies.

Scavenger hunt. Take out a piece of paper and write down different items in the house. If you have two teams doing the scavenging, write the same items down on another piece of paper. Ideas include a winter glove, a cotton swab, a doll shoe, a pie pan, etc. Send the teams off, and whoever gets back with the most items from the list first wins a prize.

Play with your food. Break out the mini marshmallows and spaghetti noodles and have the kids construct creations like houses, bridges, towers and more! If you have rice around (and you should right now!), put a bag into a large baking pan and let the kids play around in it on the kitchen floor. Excess can be vacuumed up, and the rest can be put into a bag to play with later.

keep your kids BUSY ...

Restaurant. I loooove when my kids play restaurant because I get to be the diner sitting at the table reading my book while they serve me different foods and drinks! They get to play waiters, hostesses, managers and cooks (depending on age and what they are making, of course). What a great opportunity to do some cooking and baking with them as well!

Write and illustrate a story. Kids are full of stories, but some aren’t old enough to write them down. That’s where you come in! Have each kid tell you a story that’s been running around in his mind, and you can either write it out or type it. Then have your child illustrate it! If you’re creating the story on the computer, you can go to free photo sites like Pixabay to grab images for the story!

Perler beads. You may know them as those things that go crunch when you vacuum, but kids recognize them as hours of fun! Using flat, plastic shapes with spikes, kids can create all sorts of things by placing Perler beads in different patterns. You can turn creations into necklaces, magnets, cool things to put inside school binders! Once the beads are in place, you’ll need to place parchment paper over them and iron on low until the beads melt together. Flip it over and do the other side, then they are stuck together and ready to go!

Salon. This is another one of my favorites because I usually can get a 5-minute back or neck massage while playing this. It’s also a blast to have the kids do my makeup, wipe it all off and start again. Then I get to do their makeup or, for my boys, tattoos on their arms using washable markers. Then it’s time for a bubble bath for the kids to wash off makeup—and germs, for the parenting win!

Marco Polo. No, I’m not talking about the swimming pool game! I’m talking about the smartphone app that lets you leave video messages for friends and family. Depending on the ages of your children, let them make all the video messages they want for their friends and especially for grandparents! My own dad and grandma love to see what we’re up to each day indoors and in our backyard.

Kerrie McLoughlin doesn’t really mind being safely tucked inside with her five kids and does all the things on this list! Check up on her at TheKerrieShow.com.

maintain your SANITY!

When homebound, we can still connect with our community through online resources.

Science City at Union Station

Science City offers an entire library of fun, creative activities you can do at home with your kids in their online Maker Studio’s Instructables Library: Instructables.com/ member/Maker+Studio/.

National Museum of Toys and Miniatures

You can explore the National Museum of Toys and Miniatures collections virtually through their online database. ToyAndMiniatureMuseum.org/collections/

National WWI Museum and Memorial

The National WWI Museum and Memorial offers educational online exhibits, so you can learn more about the Great War. Topics covered include the Armistice, Christmas Truce, WWI A-Z and more. TheWorldWar.org/ explore/exhibitions/online-exhibitions

Kansas Children’s Discovery Center

The Kansas Children’s Discovery Center has produced daily tutorials for parents looking for educational activities they can do at home, available at KansasDiscovery.org/home.

Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art

We are proud to have one of the finest art galleries in America right here in Kansas City. You can explore the collections virtually and learn about the pieces and the artists who created them. Art.Nelson-Atkins.org/collections

Mid-Continent Public Libraries

To accommodate the growing demand for digital books, MCPL has added more eBooks and eAudiobooks to its collection, including 5,000 new children’s eBook titles! There are currently more than 300,000 digital copies of materials that are available to be checked out with no wait.

KCPT

Use the PBS app to stream your favorite PBS shows, create the perfect watchlist, connect with your local station and more. KCPT.org/anywhere/

Truman Presidential Library and Museum

The Truman Presidential Library and Museum is currently closed for renovation. While they are closed, you can explore tremendous online resources for research and learning. TrumanLibrary.gov/library/online-collections

Homemade Fun

Some classic fun can be made at home! Here are some easy ways to create homemade bubbles, lollipops and Popsicles.

Lollipops and Popsicles

Buy inexpensive Popsicle molds and make your own frozen treats. Mix your favorite concoction, pour it into the mold, freeze and enjoy! Some favorites:

n Lemonade

n Instant chocolate, vanilla or butterscotch pudding

n Fruit juice

n Smoothie or milkshake mixes

n Paint Popsicles. These are not edible but are lots of fun! Fill a Popsicle mold with tempera paint, freeze, pop out and let the kids use the paint pops to paint on white paper.

EASY Homemade Lollipops

n Chocolate Lollipops: Purchase Wilton easy melt chocolates, molds and lollipop sticks. Melt, pour into the mold, and pop out when hardened to enjoy.

n Jolly Rancher Lollipops:Materials you need are hard Jolly Ranchers, cookie sheet, aluminum foil, parchment paper and lollipop or Popsicle sticks. Preheat oven to 275°F. Line cookie sheet with a piece of aluminum foil topped with a piece of parchment paper. Unwrap and place Jolly Ranchers together in groups of two or three. Leave enough space between them so they won’t melt together and so you have room to place a stick in them as they soften. Place the baking sheet into the preheated oven and let the Jolly Ranchers melt together slightly, about 6 minutes (watch closely). Remove from the oven and quickly twist the sticks into the melted Jolly Ranchers before the candies harden.

Bubbles & Wands

Materials needed:

1 c. water 2 T. light corn syrup or 2 T. glycerin 4 T. dishwashing liquid Mix together and have fun!

You can make many easy varieties of bubble wands. Here are a few simple ideas:

Bend a wire coat hanger into fun shapes and use it as a bubble wand. For a wand this large, aluminum pie plates work great to hold the bubble solution.

Bend pipe cleaners into favorite shapes and use them. These are easier for children to bend.

Use string and soda straws. Simply run some string through a soda straw or two (straws cut to be shorter work too) and tie the string together—essentially creating a straw necklace. Then hold onto the straws and dip the string into the bubble solution.

Straws work by themselves—but be sure to blow the bubbles and not the solution!

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kc photo scavenger hunt

Test your Kansas City knowledge! Can you identify the 10 places on these two pages? Answers at the bottom of pg. 61.

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kc photo scavenger hunt

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1. Flint Hills, 2. Fort Osage, 3.Thomas Hart Benton Studio, 4. Strawberry Hill Museum, 5. Legler Barn, 6. Scout Statue, 7. Browne’s Marketplace, 8. Vaile Mansion, 9. Parkville Nature Sanctuary, 10. Negro Leagues Baseball Museum