“The greatest gifts you can give your children are the roots of responsibility and the wings of independence.” – DENIS WAITLEY
RAISING
W
INDEPENDENT KIDS
e can’t wrap our kids in bubble wrap and then expect them to be self-sufficient. How do we raise independent children while still allowing our children to be kids? How do we prepare our children for being self-sufficient adults? One of the big goals we parents should have for our children is for them to become as self-sufficient as possible. No matter your child’s current age, you can always find ways to set the groundwork for them to become more independent. First, let’s take a look at toddlers, who, by nature, are our little explorers. We parents have great intentions as we tell our kids no, of course. We worry about their safety, health and wellness. What if instead of saying no, we try to focus on yes? Yes, let’s feed the dog. Yes, let’s pick up our toys. Yes, let’s set the table. At this age, welcome their willingness and do things side by side. Yes, let’s feed the dogs together!
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Teaching children from a very young age to help with household responsibilities not only gives children responsibility-building tasks, but also helps build a sense of selfworth from the start. Try to focus on the mindset that this is our home, and we all are responsible to take part in making sure we look after it. This builds ownership and independence for everyone in your family. I know it takes more work to teach a toddler to sit and fold washcloths than to just fold them yourself. Teaching independence is hard work! The sooner you start, the easier it will be. As children get older and into middle and high schools, increase their responsibilities. Come at it from two angles. First, focus on what your children love to do. Have kids who love to mess around in the kitchen? Perfect! Teach them to make dinner a few nights a week. Once they are in that routine, add on additional responsibilities related to cooking. Maybe
it’s doing the dishes, planning meals or making a grocery list. Are your kids good on the computer as well? Have them do the online grocery ordering since you can always add or delete items before the order is placed. Teach them to reorganize the fridge and the pantry. Teach them all the roles and responsibilities around the one main thing they enjoy. Focusing on what they want to do will set everyone up for success. Of course, kids won’t enjoy every aspect, but really who does? Can you see the pride building in your children as they become better and better with tasks they enjoy? Once your kids have gotten into their new routine of doing the things they enjoy, talk with them about what they find super challenging. This, of course, is the harder side to tackle. One example that comes to mind is a lot of children find making phone calls challenging. Today, we often send a text or email and call it good, but learning
