Celebrate Moms

Super Moms! Moms wear a ton of hats. They’re equal parts chef, chauffeur, counselor, first aid administrator and activities coordinator. But the true beauty of a mom’s talent isn’t found in all the stuff she does that can be seen by the outside world. A mom’s real strength comes from an internal drive to be super for those closest to her. Here are six qualities of truly super moms.

THEY PRIORITIZE WHAT’S MOST IMPORTANT.

It’s been said that if you don’t have a target, you’ll miss it every time. It’s important to know what you’re aiming for in life, whether your kids are itty bitty or they’re getting ready to fly the nest. By having clear-cut goals for your family—both in the short term and the long term—moms find it far easier to prioritize what’s worth adding to the calendar and what’s not. For instance, if family time around the dinner table is a high-value goal of yours, competitive sports with multiple nights of practices are deal breakers. Likewise, if you want to foster a love of lifelong learning, it’s important not to overschedule nights and weekends in order to leave kids space to develop new hobbies and interests as they arise. These core values aren’t exactly to-do’s you check off a list, but they do require the time and space to be achieved—so it means truly evaluating what’s most important.

THEY KNOW WHEN TO SAY NO.

Moms have a knack for juggling a lot of plates. Sometimes it’s simply a matter of necessity—like diapering and feeding twins (hats off to you moms of multiples!). And most of the time it is impressive: walking the dog, ordering dinner online and getting your exercise in all at the same time? You go, girl! But when doing “all the things” is due to FOMO (fear of missing out), anxiety, decision fatigue and being less than your best for the tribe that depends on you most can quickly set in. Trust me. Your kids won’t remember whether the cupcakes you brought to their soccer game were organic or homemade, but they will remember how you made them feel when you pulled them out after that last victory point. Don’t pressure yourself into needing to be Pinterest-worthy all the time. Likewise, learning to employ the word no is a good and kind thing. No one can do or be everything to everyone. If saying yes spreads you too thin, you will not have the capacity to give your best. Only sign up for activities and volunteer work you can be fully present for.

THEY’RE WILLING TO FORGIVE THEMSELVES AND LEARN FROM FAILURE.

The biggest enemy against your peace of mind isn’t a person or a place, it’s often a feeling. Mom guilt wastes no time seeping in, typically leering its ugly head before a mom is even postpartum. Did I eat well enough for Baby? Am I keeping my stress low enough? Left unchecked, mom guilt can become an unwanted sidekick. Super moms know that knowledge is power but accept that there are things outside their power, too. So, do all the research and join all the social media mom groups. But also accept the fact that “mom fails” aren’t indicative of a mama’s value; they are just a sign that she is human. Growth comes from trial and error. And by laughing at yourself and learning through mistakes, you teach your children an invaluable lesson about resiliency and grit.

THEY DON’T GO IT ALONE.

No man is an island, and the same can be said for motherhood. Everyone is better for having community, accountability and encouragement. There is no prize for going it alone, and having help doesn’t always have to cost an arm and a leg! When you need an extra set of hands, consider employing a weekly time when Grandma comes over to spend time with your little ones. In that way, she gets loved on while you have the freedom to do simple things like take a shower, eat a meal while it’s still hot or take a nap. Grandparents out of town? A mother’s helper might be just the thing for tackling household chores you’re having a hard time keeping up on. Oftentimes, a retired elderly neighbor or fellow church member would love nothing more than to be “substitute Grandma” when you need it most. If hiring a babysitter consistently is out of reach, consider doing a swap with a fellow mom friend who lives close by. In that way, you help each other out. And don’t forget the importance of reaching out to friends simply for the sake of friendship. Scheduling simple things like brunch, book club or workouts with a fellow mom friend can go a long way in recharging a mom’s batteries at the end of a long week.

THEY INVOLVE THEIR FAMILY IN MAKING THINGS HAPPEN.

Super moms know they need community, but that community starts at home. It can be so tempting to try to do everything on behalf of our children, from cleaning their rooms to making sure their backpacks are organized. But by taking their responsibility from them, we’re actually handicapping their growth. Letting them join in the work it takes to make a home operate gives children a sense of belonging and purpose. It’s good to train kids to do chores, to work with them side by side and to encourage them as they grow in competency and character. No doubt, this training does take more work on the front end of things— nobody is an expert at the start. But by teaching your children how to do simple chores, as well as bringing them into processes like home repair and budgeting, you’re giving them skills to stand on their own two feet sooner.

Being a mom is one of the toughest jobs there is. You put your heart and soul into a process with no guarantee of the outcome, and as we’re often told, the days are long while the years are short. But super moms don’t let hard days (or weeks or months!) define their success. In fact, they expect them to come and choose to allow them to refine them into better people. Learning to have joy in the journey is one of the hallmarks of a super mom.

Lauren Greenlee is a KC freelance writer who has had a lot of titles in her lifetime but her all-time favorite is that of mom to four super kids.