Volunteer with Kids

Organize a drive

Collect coats, hats and gloves, blankets, diapers, school supplies, toiletries, toys or clothing to donate to those in need. Have the kids clean their rooms and sort through items that are in great shape but are no longer needed. Many organizations will collect these items to give to shelters, foster care or victims of fire. Check with the organization you are planning on donating to in order to find out specific items that are most helpful.

Fill the food pantry

Talk with your kids about others who may not have enough to eat. Take them shopping to choose their favorite nonperishable items for meals and snacks to donate to a local food pantry. Try going door to door in your neighborhood to collect even more items. You can also leave a note on doors in your neighborhood stating what organization you are donating to and give a date in the future when you will return to pick up items.

Work outdoors

Help a neighbor, friend or family member who may be unable to do yard work. Offer to rake leaves, pull weeds, plant flowers or mow the lawn. Ask whether there are other projects like painting, gardening or maintenance your family can help with.

Work in the kitchen

Everyone loves cookies. Get the kids to help out in the kitchen by baking up some tasty treats to share with friends and neighbors. Consider taking them to a local police or fire station to show your appreciation for their hard work in the community. If you know a family in need, consider taking them a meal and, if appropriate, deliver it as a family.

Send cards

Words of encouragement, handmade cards or coloring pages are a great way to brighten soldiers’ days and show your appreciation for the sacrifice they are giving for our country. This is a good opportunity to talk to kids about soldiers, veterans and the American freedom they defend. Nursing homes also appreciate delivery of items like these for their residents. A handwritten note can brighten residents’ days, especially if they are not able to regularly have visitors because of the pandemic.

Help a four-legged friend

Animal lovers will enjoy volunteering at a local animal shelter. Typically, shelters need help walking dogs, cleaning cages and giving lonely animals attention. Oftentimes shelters can also use donations of food, cat litter, bedding and cleaning supplies. Contact your shelter to see whether there are things your family can donate as well.

Give back to Mother Earth

Kids who love nature may enjoy volunteering to clean up a local park, adopting a street in your city or cleaning up the green space in your own neighborhood. Contact your local school or church to see whether there is landscaping that needs attention. Kids can help plant trees and flowers, pull weeds and lay mulch. They will see the beauty of their hard work in no time.

Donate proceeds

Do you have a budding entrepreneur in the family? Consider hosting a lemonade stand, garage sale or bake sale and donating the proceeds to the charity of your choice. This is a great way to teach kids money management, marketing, sales and other business skills while helping others in need.

Get moving

If your family loves to exercise and be active, consider participating in an awareness walk or run that benefits an organization that is important to your crew. This will give you an opportunity to raise money and stay active while helping others.

Craft time

For families that love creating, find a project that will use your interests to help others. Make blankets, hats or scarves to donate to a shelter or hospital, make pet toys for an animal shelter, or create suncatchers or Christmas ornaments for a nursing home. The possibilities are limitless.

Pay it forward

Teach your kids the value—and fun—of paying it forward. Pass out Popsicles to your mail carrier or garbage collector; deliver flowers to the receptionist at school, librarian or someone you appreciate; pay for the person behind you in line at the coffee shop; deliver donuts to someone who is having a difficult day; send a card to a grandparent; or have your kids come up with ideas of how they could spread kindness in their community. Your family can declare a day of kindness and plan fun ways to surprise others and brighten their day or choose ways to spread cheer each day in big or small ways.

These are just a few ideas for how you can serve your community—there are countless others. When parents take the time to serve others, their kids will see volunteering as a priority and develop a desire to give back as they become adults.

Sarah Lyons is a freelance writer and stay-athome mom living in Olathe with her husband and their six children.

BENEFITS OF VOLUNTEERING WITH KIDS

n Builds empathy for others n Teaches kids the value of hard work n Helps them appreciate the blessings they have n Teaches them to think of others n Feels good to help other people n Helps them understand their community and the world around them n Shows them they can make a difference in other people’s lives and in the world n Helps build relationships and develop social skills n Can help boost your mood, battle depression, relieve stress and build self esteem n Shows kids they can use their natural gifts to help others n Gives experience working with others n Helps build leadership skills

WHAT’S YOUR STYLE?

Personality tests abound. Perhaps the most well-known, the Myers-Briggs test, reduces your personality type to four letters that sum up your strengths and weaknesses. And then there’s personality assessment that determines whether or not you’re most like a lion, otter, golden retriever or beaver. But did you know that there are also parenting personalities?

It’s true!

In the 1960s, psychologist Diana

Baumrind conducted a study of preschool children, using a combination of parental interviews and naturalistic observation, along with other research methods, to identify key dimensions of parenting. These dimensions include warmth and nurturing, disciplinary practices, communication styles, as well as personal expectations for control and maturity. Based on her research,

Baumrind concluded that there are three primary parenting styles. Two decades later, researchers Macoby and Martin picked up where Baumrind left off, determining there was an additional parenting style that had gone undetected. Interestingly, each of these four parenting styles produces unique outcomes on a child’s behavior.

Authoritarian Parenting

This parenting style could be summed up in four words: because I said so. Authoritarian parents may exhaust this phrase ad nauseum, but if they don’t, it’s still heavily implied—and the child knows it. Strict rules are enforced, and failure to meet expectations, whether through disobedience or simple error, is met with punishment. Authoritarian parents don’t feel the need to expound on why rules are in place. Rules are there to be followed, whether the child understands them or not. As Baumrind explains, these parents “are obedience- and status-oriented and expect their orders to be obeyed without explanation.” There is a high degree of expectation put on children of authoritarian parents, but not a lot of consideration is put into how a child feels or what his or her limitations are. These parents are often militant and best described as domineering. The end goal is submission without question.

Authoritarian parents may end up with children that are great rule followers, but it often comes with a price. Children within these home environments typically have low self-esteem because their opinions aren’t considered and their feelings are often invalidated. Likewise, because authoritarian parents focus on ultimate control, their children seldom have opportunity to participate in problem solving or learning through natural consequences. Authoritarian parents are more concerned with making kids feel sorry for their mistakes than learning through them. Consequently, children may grow up to become hostile and aggressive and learn how to become good liars to avoid Mom or Dad’s wrath.

Authoritative Parenting

Authoritative parents have high yet clear-cut expectations for achievement and maturity, but they are equally warm, nurturing and responsive toward their children. They put immense effort into cultivating a healthy relationship with their child as well as making their home a warm environment. These parents are invested in preventative work; training and using positive discipline strategies are implemented so that a child ultimately learns to become self-controlled and self-disciplined. While children within these homes know that ultimately Mom and Dad are in charge, they also know that their input is welcomed and appreciated. Likewise, authoritative parents don’t shy away from explaining why things are the way they are within their homes. Open dialogue ensures that kids know the purpose behind the family rules. Baumrind’s research indicates that children raised by authoritative parents tend to be the happiest, most independent, high achieving and self-regulated. They also tend to display the least amount of violent tendencies or struggle with mental health issues as a result.

Permissive Parenting

Permissive parents are warm, nurturing and responsive, but they don’t establish healthy boundaries with their children, meaning they are ultimately lenient and indulgent. Parents of this variety want to be seen as their child’s friend or peer more than their authority figure. Unlike authoritarian parents, permissive parents want to have open dialogue with their children about their feelings, and they keep rules to a minimum, assuming a child will learn best by doing things his or her own way. Children raised in permissive households know how to work the system to get what they want out of their parents and are the most likely to struggle academically as well as with health challenges like obesity and impulse control. Permissive parents adopt the mentality that “kids will be kids” and don’t tend to follow through if consequences are laid out. Children within this home environment struggle to understand the significance of established rules and often have issues with authority outside the home as a result. They’re also at risk of being egocentric, as permissive parents often seek to talk to their children about their issues but avoid bringing up any ownership the child may have in the situation.

Authoritative Parenting Authoritative parents have high yet clear-cut expectations for achievement and maturity, but they are equally warm, nurturing and responsive toward their children. They put immense effort into cultivating a healthy relationship with their child as well as making their home a warm environment.

Uninvolved Parenting

Uninvolved parenting takes permissive parenting to a whole new level. Freedom is given completely to the child, but not with the intention of getting on the kid’s good side. Instead, uninvolved parents seek autonomy over relationship. While some choose to parent this way intentionally, others simply do so out of ignorance or lack of care. This is particularly the case when a parent struggles with substance abuse or mental health challenges, but it’s important to note it can also be the result of overwhelm if a parent is dealing with high degrees of stress, conflict or financial challenges. There is no particular form of discipline used within this environment and, likewise, there are no expectations for how the child will turn out. Uninvolved parents typically don’t know how their kids are doing in school, are unaware of who their children hang out with, and don’t really know who their kids are at their core. Children raised with an uninvolved parent tend to struggle with self-esteem issues, exhibit behavioral challenges, turn to drug and substance abuse and have high suicide rates.

Things to Note

While parenting styles are linked to child behavior, it’s important to note that there are other variables that play an important role. First, parents will often find themselves vacillating between parenting styles, seldom sitting in one permanently. Not all parents are on the same page or display the same type of parenting style, as well, which can affect the overall temperature of the home. Conversely, a child’s temperament and behavior can also alter his parents’ parenting styles. Other factors include cultural expectations and social influences.

Lauren Greenlee is an Olathe boymom of three, soon to be four, wonderful sons. She aims to parent with grace and humility, apologizes often for learning throughout the process, and relishes in the gift it is to have some of her favorite people call her Mom.