Sports Life Lessons

ick, snag, toss, throw, shoot,

Krun, hit—sports give an active outlet to childhood energy. Parents wonder at what age to sign their children up for organized sports, and some kids from day one love throwing, catching and kicking a ball. As they grow older, they’ll give you cues on which sport would interest them. And whether it be soccer, baseball, basketball or football, your youngsters will learn great lessons on behavior and control.

My son played soccer, competitive baseball and high school football and basketball, so sports had a huge impact on him. The coach that stands out was his football coach who gave each player a chain link to hang on his own keychain or belt loop. When the guys had team meetings, they would attach all the links together. Coach used this tangible object lesson to demonstrate to the boys that without each other, there was no strength. But together, they could work magic! That’s one lesson playing sports can give: how to be a team player—which extends to jobs, family and more as kids mature. As for my son, the love of sports has stayed with him; at 25, he plays sand volleyball and co-ed softball.

Another sports benefit is crystal clear. Kids learn about competition. Teams and individuals go head-to-head to outdo one another. If this is fostered in a healthy way, athletes learn to translate their competitive spirt on the field or court into real life. Be it grades or a job or admission to college, or even a husband or wife, athletes understand that having a competitive edge can be the deciding factor in getting the most out of life. That attitude helps kids become achievement-oriented. Setting goals and working toward those goals creates drive, which leads to lifetime success.

Good sportsmanship is another invaluable lesson. It means winning and losing in a respectable, gracious manner and that an athlete has patience and selfcontrol. The young athlete learns to be humble instead of bragging on a win and to be calm and collected rather than lashing out in rudeness and anger at a loss. These attributes are needed in life when things do not go our way. This builds strong character.

As mentioned before, understanding how to be a team player is crucial. This does not mean everyone has to be best friends, but they must do their part to complete a given task. This skill can be helpful in school projects, job situations and simply getting along with others in life.

If you participate in sports long enough, eventually you will experience intense competition that can lead to adversity. Learning to deal with tough situations in the best manner is fundamental in life. With learned resilience, we can handle lost jobs, car accidents or simple bad days. How we handle difficulty defines character.

The definition of courage is the ability to face difficulty despite fear. In sports, this may mean going against a bigger, stronger, more athletic opponent. In life, there will be plenty of times the odds are against you. Courage will get you through.

Hard work gets you places, and nothing can teach this more than playing a sport. The only way to stay on top of your game is to work hard and practice. The same holds true in life. Whether your children aspire to be an engineer, craftsman, teacher, doctor or lawyer, they need to understand that putting forth the effort is necessary to be successful in any career.

Just because life isn’t fair does not mean you quit. The greatest athletes in any sport, from swimming to gymnastics and beyond, are committed to doing their best whether they win or lose. They learn this from instructors and coaches who train them all along the way to do their best regardless of the outcome. There is always another competition—in sports and in life!

Another lesson taught from being on any team is learning to differentiate between being a player and being a performer. From an early age, children begin to recognize the difference thanks to an instructor or coach helping them understand. For example, when a coach picks one player who is performing well, the others will naturally want to rise to the level of performer.

Some of sports’ lessons may not be recognized for years. For instance, as kids grow up, graduate and move on, many remain lifelong friends with members of their teams because they are the ones they grew with, both emotionally and physically. Sharing the team spirit and receiving that team trophy together is the strongest bond. A child who feels those connections will be happier, better adjusted and hopeful.

Whether watching them, playing them or coaching them, we love the constancy of sports in our lives. And sharing the experience with your son or daughter is one of the most rewarding you’ll have. You’ll learn the best way to encourage your children and share in their wins and losses. Don’t be surprised, too, if you learn a little about yourself along the way.

Judy Goppert lives in Lee’s Summit. She enjoys drawing on her personal experiences to write about the nuances of everything wonderful about life.

Sources: CoachUp.com, Living.ALot.com, TheActiveLife.com

Here are some famous folks who played sports before they became well-known:

John Wayne was a guard for the University of Southern California’s football team. Matthew Fox, the Lost star, attended Columbia University and played wide receiver for their football team. Mark Harmon, NCIS, was the starting quarterback for the UCLA Bruins. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson played football growing up and attended the University of Miami on a full athletic scholarship and played for their football team. Burt Reynolds went to Florida State University on a full scholarship where he played football. Carl Weathers, before fighting Rocky as Apollo Creed, played football for Long Beach City College and then San Diego State University. He moved on to play for the Oakland Raiders then the BC Lions in the CFL.

Busy Parent' s Guide to Bonding

How to enjoy moments with your kids when you’re always on the go

We get it. You’re working a fulltime job while coordinating school pickup and drop-off with only mere moments to hug your child goodbye before speeding away to the office. Breakfast was a blur. It took you an extra 10 minutes to find your car keys on the way out the door, and you’re already flustered about that big morning meeting.

You’ve got homework to check, lunches to make, meals to prep, bills to pay. Laundry is piling up, you’re accumulating overtime at work, and late nights after the kids are all tucked into bed is when you catch up on chores or eat a quick snack and catch your breath.

Maybe you’re trying to homeschool your children while not losing your patience and feel like you can’t enjoy your time with them no matter what you try. Maybe you’re navigating the world of virtual learning on top of your part-time job.

Whatever your “busy” looks like these days, those perfect bonding moments with the kids may be few and far between. You may often find yourself thinking, “Man, I just need a break. I don’t feel like I’m nailing parenting right now.”

In the midst of your crazy lifestyle, try not to let those moments slip away. You’d be surprised how many minutes in a day you can actually bond with your kiddos without even overexerting yourself. We’ve prepared a short guide to get you started. You may even think of several other opportunities in addition to these everyday moments.

Read together (even just bedtime stories)

Is bedtime the only part of the day this week you can truly settle down with your child and be present? That’s okay! Soak up every single one of those few minutes. Read one or two of her favorite books. Use silly voices. Be animated. Give her an extra hug and say you love getting to read with her. Tell her, “Same time, same place?” for tomorrow.

Do arts and crafts

Fancy setups aren’t required to simply color a picture, draw with markers or paint with your kiddo for a while. Muster up a few free minutes after dinner. Skip bath time just to dig up his favorite coloring books. You don’t have to commit to hours of organized crafting—just replace one of your routine nighttime activities for this fun one instead.

Enjoy music

Sing along with the radio together in the car. Have Amazon Alexa play a few Disney tunes at bedtime as you’re tucking them in. I promise they’ll soak up and appreciate these positive, mindful moments as much as—if not more than—a well-planned vacation or expensive new toy.

Take a walk or head to the backyard

Instead of jumping right into homework after school, take the kids outside and join them in a game of catch or hide-and-seek. Walk around the block once. Take a few minutes to breathe in the fresh air while asking them about their day.

Cook together

If you’ve been working all day, just picked your kids up from school or daycare and don’t necessarily have energy to take them to the park or plan a special activity together, don’t worry. Why not include them in cooking dinner? It doesn’t have to be a complicated, home-cooked meal. Even if you stir up a box of pancake mix or heat up some chicken nuggets, include your children in the process.

Utilize homework time

Even though homework time can be the most stressful hour (or three) of the day for you and your kids, it doesn’t have to be. Try to make it fun one night. Pop some popcorn and read through your son’s social studies textbook with him. Help your daughter practice spelling words and give her gummy bears for each word she spells correctly. Laugh and tell jokes in between tough math equations.

Watch a movie

Change up story time and instead watch a quick episode of Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood or a Disney short on the iPad before bed. Even if the two of you don’t chat and just snuggle up with a blanket, you’re still bonding, and your presence makes your child feel safe and secure.

Just listen

My 5-year-old sure knows when I’m not giving him my absolute, undivided attention. He tells me, “Wisten, wisten (listen)!” until I make eye contact and notice what he is trying to show me on his iPad or a toy he brought me. This may happen while we’re playing with Play-Doh, coloring or building with Legos. Sometimes, the simplest and best way to snatch those bonding moments is to be fully present and engaged in simple activities together.

Emily Morrison is a freelance writer, former copy editor, full-time mommy and Disney fanatic who lives in Independence with her husband, 5-year old son and dog.

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WAYS FOR MOMS TO GET ENERGY

ENERGY— this may seem like a foreign word to some moms. We moms have so much on our plates, and most of it is for other people. We do everything we can to have a good day before collapsing on the couch at a decent hour—and, hopefully, make it to bed before falling asleep on that couch. Or sometimes after collapsing, we stay awake into the wee hours, reading, watching or scrolling through what interests us. Once that big list of things gets done in a day, we go overboard with that time to ourselves. Sound familiar?

Moms can find plenty of advice out there about doing some “self care,” like taking a shower. Is it me, or does a 5- to 10-minute shower not feel much like self care? More like, “I finally do not feel gross.” Or maybe you get a shower every morning before going to the office but have to consider a 15-minute lunch break self care because it’s shocking you’re not working through lunch.

Be it kids, work, or all the activities and chores we have to do just to keep the house running smoothly, our full, busy lives tend to suck the energy right out of us. And a mom’s nature is to put herself on the bottom of the list with the things she probably won’t get to. Now, I’m not going to tell you to keep your cup full because you can’t give what you don’t have. I will tell you, however, to give yourself a mental break more frequently than you do.

Mental whirlwinds are exhausting. All those to-do list items swirl around in our heads until we finally cross them off the list. So many moms among my friends and family have shared how the mental turbulence just doesn’t quit until the list of essentials is complete.

Here’s my experience: I love a good list with everything checked off. I love a good clean house that is picked up—with dinner already planned. But the things to do will always keep coming. I have told myself so many times that I’ll get to a certain point and surely things will get better. In a couple weeks when this is past, I think to myself, things will change. They will not, however, change. Things will always come up, and life will happen. So I asked a variety of different moms what they do to recharge and get their energy back when they are overwhelmed. Here are their responses.

Do 20 minutes of exercise. The time commitment is not long, and it ends before a half-hour kids television show runs its course. This time can give you some space to breathe or maybe get your heart pumping and ready to go. Yes, exercise has been proven to help a person’s mental state—and sometimes we really need it. If exercise is not your thing, keep reading.

Take 10-20 minutes of a break. Again, find something to capture your kids’ attention for this short amount of time and find yourself a break. No matter what you do, set a timer and do something for yourself. Taking a brain break does not take that long, but it can do so much to reenergize you.

Spend time away from family. If you can, go get coffee, gas or whatever you need to pick up. Life demands a lot from you, and sometimes you just want to do something alone. Don’t feel bad about it. Have you ever just sat in the car before, enjoying the stillness? I have.

Pursue things that give you “fire.” This is different for everyone, but we all have something that gives us energy. Paint, write, read, call a friend, watch funny videos, create something. You will not be disappointed if you find time to do these things.

Take time with friends. If you are an extrovert, friends give you energy. Whether it’s in person or not, schedule some time to connect and catch up. We all need some sort of connection with people. There is something about having adult conversations that gives energy.

Ask for help with “mom” duties. On the days we cannot do it all, asking for help is such a relief. Maybe someone can stay with the kids while you get a couple errands done. Can someone pick the kids up for a carpool to carve out extra time? Worth it. Whatever your mom duties consist of, don’t be too proud to ask for help. Organize to energize. Kids are messy and busy. Houses, closets and toys can get disorganized and cluttered quickly, and kids grow fast and all of a sudden their clothes are too small. It all creeps up on you fast! Some people glean energy from decluttering and organizing.

Plan and prep. If this is your personality, get revved up putting your calendar in order and preparing food, wardrobes, pickup and drop-off plans—any of a myriad of things to free some mental energy. After all, if you know what’s coming, you don’t have to spend time wondering or worrying.

Pick up a good book. If you get sick of being in your own head and need to escape for a while, get some recommendations on good books. Sometimes there’s nothing quite as good as escaping your world to be in someone else’s imagination. Or find a topic that interests you and learn something. Both fiction and nonfiction can freshen your perspective.

If you’re like me, you’ll have to make a point to schedule one of these restorative revels. Go ahead, set the timer if you need to. Some of the best advice I have gotten is this: “All those things will still be there when you are done.” Yes, they sure will.

Perhaps the biggest energy-zapper is mom guilt. I recently had a conversation with a friend about it. If she left her kids to either have alone time or even a date night, she had mom guilt. But think about it—do you have guilt about not taking care of yourself too? Make the choice to change your mindset. Do what you need to do to care for your family. And do what you need to do to care for yourself—both without entertaining guilt. It will probably take some effort, but once you get the swing of it, I bet you’ll thank yourself.

Lauren Dreher lives in Stilwell with her husband and two toddlers.

take your vitamins

the lowdown on supplements for kids

Adaily multivitamin is a healthy basic for adults and kids alike, right? Maybe not. The journal Annals of Internal Medicine recently deemed multivitamin and mineral supplements massive money drains that don’t deliver promised health benefits.

Though the supplement industry is robust—Americans spend nearly $27 billion on supplements annually—doctors and researchers aren’t sold on the value of vitamins. According to a 2009 study by researchers at the University of California, Davis, most kids and teens who pop a daily pill probably don’t need one because they get adequate nutrition from their diet. The same study found that kids with nutritional deficiencies are the least likely to take a supplement.

This leaves confused parents holding the bag—or, in this case, the bottle of brightly colored chewables. Read on to discover whether nutritional help makes sense for your child.

The diet defense

As it turns out, deciding whether kids need a daily pill isn’t simple. If your child eats a varied diet that includes a few servings of fruits, vegetables, dairy, meat and plenty of whole grains (see sidebar), a multivitamin probably isn’t necessary, says Kristi King, senior clinical dietitian at Texas Children’s Hospital and clinical instructor of pediatrics at Baylor College of Medicine.

“We encourage parents to help kids meet their nutritional requirements through food, because the nutrients in food are better absorbed than those in supplements,” King says.

In fact, for kids already downing vitamin-rich foods such as leafy greens, milk, meat and fish on a daily basis, a pill could be overkill, she notes. That’s because certain fat-soluble vitamins (A, D, E and K) are toxic in very high doses.

Then there’s the challenge of finding a kids’ vitamin that’s not full of unwanted additives or worse. A 2008 study by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration reported that a significant number of popular children’s vitamins were contaminated with lead. And they may not contain the vitamins or doses promised—independent testing service ConsumerLab found labeling errors in 40 percent of the vitamins studied.

Tennessee mom Julie Gallagher ran into this very problem when she wanted a quality multivitamin for her 3-year-old, Will. “A good diet should cover everything, but I know I don’t prepare a perfect meal every night,” she says. But when she started looking, she found that nearly every kids vitamin contained a questionable ingredient: added sugar, artificial dyes (linked to behavior problems in children since the 1970s) or lead.

Is it safe to skip?

With all the questions surrounding supplements, some parents choose to bypass them altogether. But that may be a mistake, too. Picky eaters, exceptionally slow growers, chronically ill children or those who avoid certain food groups due to allergies or preferences, King says, may need added vitamins: “It can be very hard on a restrictive diet to get everything kids need for growth.”

In those cases, King recommends a multivitamin and mineral supplement, as opposed to single-vitamin supplementation (with the exception of vitamin D—see below), because vitamins and minerals must be balanced appropriately to be effective. Too much of a single nutrient can be problematic. An excess of iron may cause abdominal pain, while too much magnesium may lead to diarrhea.

For some kids, a multivitamin might not be enough, says Pirayeh Pedarsani, a clinical dietitian at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles. Multivitamin supplements are

designed to complement a typical varied diet, so kids who avoid entire food groups— say, dairy or all animal products—may need a multivitamin plus other supplementation.

For example, dairy avoiders may need additional calcium and vitamin D for healthy bones and teeth, and vegans can benefit from supplemental B12, a vitamin found mainly in animal foods that’s important for nerve function. Those who avoid grains or gluten might miss out on the magnesium or vitamin E found in whole grains.

Research shows that most Americans are deficient in vitamin D, so the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends 400 IU (international units) per day for babies and children via a nutritional supplement. Vitamin D isn’t readily available in food, so even an immaculate diet won’t provide enough, King says.

Supplement savvy

What’s a parent to do? If your child won’t drink milk or gets stuck in an “I hate veggies!” phase, or if your family follows a restrictive diet, King says that a daily multi is worth considering. Though food-based nutrition is ideal, she recognizes that it’s not possible or practical for all kids all the time. Multivitamins are probably safe for most children, she notes.

A few simple blood tests can eliminate nutritional guessing games. Your family doctor can easily check levels of nutrients such as D, B12 and iron, and offer customized advice about supplementation, says Kimberly L. Braly, a pediatric dietitian at Seattle Children’s Hospital.

But deciding whether to supplement is only half the battle; now you have to pick one. All vitamins aren’t created equal, and some manufacturers use cheaper ingredients that don’t absorb well, says Haylie Pomroy, a nutritionist, mom and author of The Fast Metabolism Diet. Go for one with folate (look for “5-methyltetrahydrofolate” or “L-methylfolate” on the label) instead of synthetic folic acid; methylcobalamin (the bioactive form of B12); and cholecalciferol (the most active form of vitamin D). If a vitamin contains these superstars, Pomroy says, it’s likely high quality.

What about buzzy supplements such as probiotics and fish oil? While research is still emerging, it’s promising, says King. Probiotics have been linked to reduced colic in breast-fed babies, and fish oil may improve cognitive function. But because recommended dosages haven’t been established for children, be sure to check with your pediatrician before supplementing.

After spending a “ridiculous” amount of time reading labels, Gallagher settled on a natural gummy vitamin. Now the real challenge: finding a safe spot to stash them so Will doesn’t overindulge. “He loves them,” Gallagher says. “He’d eat a whole bottle if he could!”

Malia Jacobson is a nationally published parenting journalist. Her most recent book is Sleep Tight, Every Night: Helping Toddlers and Preschoolers Sleep Well Without Tears, Tricks, or Tirades.

As always, please consult your health care provider with any questions or concerns.

Birthday Parties on a Budget

This year, consider giving your child the Ultimate Birthday Party, one where he can play, have fun and just be a kid. The added bonus is that you get to keep your sanity and money. Follow these steps and you’ll have a stress-free celebration everyone can enjoy.

1. The night before the party, bake the cake (from a box, of course!) or cupcakes. Feel free to get fancy on the cake if you have that talent; otherwise, most kids are just thrilled to have sugar in any form. You could even bake a special small cake (maybe heartshaped!) just for the Birthday Kid and let him decorate it himself.

2. On party day, don’t worry about setting up a craft or handing out costly goodie bags for the kids. Most parents these days are into decluttering and find their kids have way too much junk. Parents will appreciate not having to take home anything except for their child, and won’t feel guilty because you spent more on a goodie bag than they did on your child’s gift.

3. To kill some time, consider a piñata (filled with something quickly disposed of like candy or fruit snacks instead of junky toys). Otherwise, kids don’t need every minute of their day scheduled for them … running wild is what they are best at, especially at a birthday party!

4. Make the decorations simple, especially for younger kids who probably don’t watch enough television to even have a favorite cartoon character. Colored paper plates work great, as do regular plastic forks (recycle those forks if you’re going green!). Rather than buy expensive Mylar balloons, blow up some store-bought colored balloons yourself and tape them to walls and doorways or leave them loose on the floor.

Kerrie McLoughlin (TheKerrieShow.com) lives in Peculiar and enjoys throwing five birthday parties a year for her kids!

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