20 minute read
Bring More Joy to Your Holidays
Bringing Joy to the Holidays
Do you remember the days when the thought of Christmas filled you with such an excited expectation that you could barely sleep? Now that I’m responsible for making those memories for my children, I’ve found the holidays have more stress, pressure and cost than I’d ever imagined. Still, my heart is to enjoy the holidays with my family. The question is how to do that.
Bringing joy back to your holidays takes a little self-examination to determine what takes joy from your holidays. Everyone is different, but the main points of stress in most people’s lives seem to be busyness, finances and family.
Prioritize, prioritize, prioritize
To begin to declutter your schedule, make a list of what is most important for you to accomplish this season. What do you want to do? What matters most to you? What are your traditions?
Pull out your calendar and mark down the nonnegotiables like work parties, children’s events and family obligations.
Next, take a look at the things you need to do and schedule them. Baking, cleaning, shopping. Make it fun. Involve your kids in the baking. Get the entire family to spend three hours on a Saturday morning to get the house clean then go out and have a
snowball fight. Set aside one day with your spouse to get your shopping done.
If you are able to take the “musts” of the season and turn them into a family activity, you’ll feel the pressure on you ease a bit. Baking and cleaning time is cut in half. Stress is released knowing you aren’t the only one doing things. You’ll have more time to spend doing the fun stuff you actually want to do with your family. Plus, by involving your kids, you are actually teaching them a life skill. As long as you release expectations of perfection from a 5-year-old decorating a cookie or a 7-year old cleaning a toilet, you are going to come out ahead. And your kids might really enjoy the quality time spent with you.
Now, it’s time for your want-to list. Schedule in your personal traditions, but don’t overpack your schedule. Tamara Russell, a teacher, says, “Remember, more is less. Avoid the temptation to overplan for the holidays.” And take energy level into account, especially if you have young children. For example, if you’re going ice skating one night that week, plan on a low-key event the next, like building a gingerbread house or snuggling down with hot chocolate and a Christmas movie.
Finally, it’s okay to say no. You don’t have to do everything. Giving yourself a little extra margin to rest, relax or be spontaneous will go a long way in staying healthy and happy during a high pressure season.
Don’t Finance the Holidays
To ease stress, our priorities need to go beyond our time and into our finances. Putting Christmas on a credit card, even if it’s to provide the perfect gift or experience, is never a good idea. Kansas City’s Roy Browning spent his career in the finance and mortgage industry and now spends his time helping others with their personal finances. “You can’t do everything, so what’s the most important to you? Is it more important for you to have a beautifully decorated home with all the decorations or to create family memories?” he says. “Take a look at what would be the most important thing.”
To keep a lid on your spending, you have to determine how much you can afford to spend. Christmas is expensive. Between gifts, food and extra activities, blowing a budget is easy. Having a plan can ease your personal and relational stress, but it’s important to work together. “The first thing is a conversation between the husband and wife, out of sight of the children. Talk about what you can afford to spend and agree. It’s really important to be together on this,” Browning says. “Sometimes because of financial limitations and the budget being tight, you might determine that we can’t spend as much on each other because we want to spend more on the kids.”
Family or Foe?
While spending time with our family is supposed to increase our joy, often it just increases our stress. Counselor Connie Bennett states in Psychology Today that the holidays can bring an emotional overload. “You may feel overcome by loneliness, become annoyed by meddling relatives or lose patience with your loved ones.”
During those times, take a deep breath and give your family the benefit of the doubt. Everyone is going through a hectic season, and sometimes things can come across different than what they’re intended. Try to look past the behaviors that can cause hurt or irritate to the motive behind them. Usually, it’s genuine love and concern for you. Bennet recommends looking at your family through rose-colored glasses. “Then graciously thank them for their misguided attention. Rather than view your situation with annoyance, be grateful instead.”
Perhaps the most important adjustment we can make during this season is to let go of our expectations. Make plans but hold them loosely. Life happens to all of us, and you may just find your greatest source of joy in the unexpected moments instead of those you’ve planned.
Christian Barnes lives in Kansas City with her husband and two nearly grown sons. She’s fascinated by how children think and learn and enjoys sharing any information she’s gathered with others.
Creative Gift Giving
Looking for a way to stretch your dollars? Creative gift giving could be the answer. Consider these ideas this Christmas: • Make it personal. One year, I sent relatives a bag of “My Favorite Things,” which included foodstuffs that I loved. I filled a bag with Topsy’s popcorn, a great salad dressing and a local marinade. It went over well and was something they could use. • Give a group gift to a large family like a gift card to the zoo, an outdoor adventure park or entertainment venue instead of individual gifts. • If you have a particular skill like painting, knitting, cooking or woodworking, use it. People love receiving a little piece of personal artistry. • Give the gift of time to those hard-to-buy-for people. Invite them over and make a special meal or bring them lunch or dinner and plan on playing a game or watching a movie together. • Keep in mind someone’s love language when picking a gift. A good gift doesn’t have to be about the money spent; it can be about the time spent on choosing or creating it.
ABCs of the Holidays
Cut these pages out and tape or magnet them to your fridge or a mirror in your bathroom to begin and end each day with a plan to make the holidays magical!
Ais for Angels. They are all around us throughout the year, yet they seem closer during this holiday season. Discuss guardian angels with your children, and perhaps create a small angel tree in your child’s bedroom. Encourage him or her to name each angel, and then keep one on the nightstand to keep watch all year.
Cis for Christmas Cookies, of course! Whether you purchase prepared sugar cookie dough or make your own, don’t worry about the mess. Cookie cutters are available online, and you can find colored icing at your grocery store. Fill cute baggies tied with ribbon and share the cookies with neighbors and friends. Take pics for family! Bis for Bells. If we are lucky, the Salvation Army bells will be ringing this season throughout our city. Bells have a special place during the season, as they ring in churches and bell choirs. Try making a bell wreath. Simply Google “jingle bell wreath” and you’ll find the easy steps. Hang them on doorknobs to ring out a festive jingle every time you open the door!
Dis for Dasher. You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen. You know the rest. Have fun making reindeer and writing their names in glitter, then string them on your holiday mantle. E is for Santa’s Elves. That Elf on the Shelf may be a bit overdone, but you can still discuss how your children can be little elves and spread kindness wherever they go.
Fis for Fa La La La La, La La La La! In 1944 Judy Garland sang this popular Christmas song in the movie Meet Me in St. Louis. The emotion of holiday music, old and new, is powerful. Play it, dance to it and let it bring the magic of Christmas into your home. Visit BrownieLocks.com to find fun Christmas carol trivia.
Gis for Good Will. This year more than ever, we all need to bring good will to friends, family, neighbors and teachers. Make a list of activities you can do together to bring smiles, such as serving in a food kitchen, making cards to send to soldiers or bringing flowers to an elderly neighbor.
Iis for Icicles. In our region, winter brings many opportunities to sled, ski and ice skate. And those icicles can at times shimmer in the sunlight. If you see one in a safe and opportune locale, break it off and look at the clear beauty. Discuss how icicles form and then melt. H is for Holy. No matter who we celebrate during this time, deem the season holy. All faiths hold reverence to a holy entity. Explain this to your children and discuss all religions. This encourages inclusion, an open mind and worldly attitude.
Jis for Jolly. The legend of jolly old St. Nick can be traced back hundreds of years to a monk named St. Nicholas, believed to be born sometime around 280 A.D. in Patara, near Myra in modern-day Turkey. He was admired for his piety and kindness, and it’s said he gave away all his inherited wealth and traveled the countryside helping the poor and sick. The name Santa Claus evolved from Nick’s Dutch nickname, Sinter Klaas, a shortened form of Sint Nikolaas, which is Dutch for Saint Nicholas. Food for thought!
Kis for King. Many kings are a part of the season, including the three kings that came bearing gifts for baby Jesus, who as an infant was born a King. Setting up a manger scene can be a tradition your children will carry with them throughout their lives. When I was a child, my mother always gave me the opportunity to set up the straw and wooden manger scene in our home. My aunt gave me a lovely porcelain manger scene for Christmas one year, and I treasure it to this day. The kings, the animals, the baby and the shepherds all have their place! L is for Lights. Be creative! There are so many options to put on a Griswold-worthy show around your home. Involve the children so they feel a part of the fun.
Mis for Mistletoe. Who hasn’t kissed under the mistletoe? The custom of kissing under this pretty, bright green sprig with red berries comes from England. There was kissing under the mistletoe in the illustration in the first book version of A Christmas Carol, published in 1843. The original custom was that a berry had to be picked from the sprig before a person could be kissed, and when the berries were gone, there could be no more kissing!
Nis for New Year. We will all look to 2021 with hopeful hearts for a better year! Make this a festive occasion at home with feasting on crab legs, hotdogs, tacos or homemade soup. Whatever you serve, this night will be remembered. O is for “Oh Holy Night.” The songs of the season always call up memories for each of us. Begin your own holiday
Pis for Poinsettia. These tradition by introducing your children bright red leaves offer a to these classic goosebump-raising splash of color to frigid melodic masterpieces! winter, and the story of why they are the Christmas flower, said to come from an old Mexican legend, is so sweet! A young girl
named Pepita was sad that she didn’t have a gift to leave Q is for Quality Time. for baby Jesus at Christmas Eve services. Her cousin tried Obviously, everyone to comfort her and said that Jesus would love any present, has been at home many no matter how small. With no money to buy a gift, Pepita more days and picked a bouquet of weeds that she walked past on the hours than usual. way to church. When she got there, she left the weeds at Even so, this time can be a bit the bottom of the Nativity scene. Suddenly, the weeds more “homey” with the right transformed into beautiful red flowers. attitude and ambiance. Draw from your own memories to create a holiday home, filled with love and R is for Rudolph. What is the holiday season without this classic? Plan to pop popcorn, light the fireplace and snuggle under fuzzy blankets as you enjoy this sweet show. Its timeless message of inclusion and accepting differences never goes out of style. Rudolph, “the most famous reindeer of all,” was born more than a hundred years togetherness. Sis for The Sound of Music, the iconic movie. Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, bright copper kettles and warm woollen mittens, after his eight flying counterparts. The red-nosed wonder brown paper packages tied up with strings, was the creation of Robert L. May, a copywriter at the these are a few of my favorite Montgomery Ward department store. In 1939, he wrote things! Begin a holiday family a Christmas-themed story-poem to help bring holiday tradition with this delightful traffic into his store. film. When Christopher Plummer sings “Edelweiss,” I’m reminded of a music box that played this tune that my father gave me when I was a little girl.
Tis for Tradition. We all have traditions from the holidays, like the way we hang our stockings or light our Menorah, the special corn casserole our grandmother made or the ribs our grandfather smoked. Discuss what tradition your family will make and then keep it every year!
Vis for Vacation. Go away from home— if even to a local hotel—for a day. Your children will enjoy the holiday decorations and staying in a different room for a change. Many local places are now offering reduced rates, and you can go over the river and through the woods for a brief reprieve!
Xis for eXercise! Keep the blood flowing and mood up by exercising throughout this season of eating treats and snuggling with popcorn and hot chocolate. U is for Uncles, Aunts and Grandparents! With luck, family will be able to visit and stay for the holidays in your home, or you will visit them. Make sure you have your children spend time with them and listen closely to their stories.
Wis for Wassail. This warm apple drink dates back to another tradition in England, when villagers would go door to door in their neighborhood wassailing, which meant offering the hot mulled cider to neighbors and singing carols. Also, they would go to orchards and sing to ensure a good apple harvest come spring.
Y
is for Yule. Discuss the history of the yule log, which is a custom from years past that involves selecting a log to burn on Christmas Eve. It is also a delicious recipe you can find online.
Zis for Zoey! Rudolph’s girlfriend in the 1998 animated movie Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. She sings the sweet song “There’s always Tomorrow.” Google it and play the uplifting tune!
An avid outdoors girl, Judy Goppert lives in Lee’s Summit. She enjoys drawing on her personal experiences to write about the nuances of everything wonderful about life.
HOW TO RING IN THE NEW YEAR WITH KIDS
3, 2, 1...Happy New Year!
Nothing is more exciting than year and make a 2020 scrapbook as a family yourself a date when your time capsule can ringing in a new year. However, that can be enjoyed years later. Then toast a be opened, be it next New Year’s, five or staying up until midnight isn’t all cheer to the last noon of the year! even 10 years from now. it’s cracked up to be. Here are some fun ways you and your crew can celebrate that won’t have everyone yawning the following day. Build a Time Capsule Make time stand still by capturing the essence of your family’s favorite things this Get Active Get a head start on that fitness resolution! If snow is on the ground, pour some hot Host a Noon Year’s Eve Party! year. You could make a physical box full of cocoa in a thermos and break out the
Many local family attractions host treasures—a favorite family read-aloud, a sleds (check out KC Parent’s website for a Noon Year’s Eve parties for families with souvenir purchased on vacation, a CD with comprehensive listing of all the best sledding young children, but why bother going out favorite songs and more. Or consider going hills in KC). If flurries aren’t around, head to when you can stay in? Choose a simple yet digital, downloading images of popular a local skating rink to have some wintry fun customizable spread like personal pan pizzas movies, books or politicians from the year’s (and perfect those triple loops) together. or a taco bar, where family members can election campaigns into your online storage. pick and choose their favorite toppings. Try What was the best thing you ever ate in Have a Modified Late-Night Celebration your hand at a new board game or invest in 2020? Draw a picture about it and include Who says you have to wait until the clock a puzzle the crew can work on throughout it! Don’t forget to include mementos from strikes midnight here to celebrate the dawn the coming wintry days. Print off photos a year unlike any other, such as a face mask of a new year? Be on the lookout for livethat encapsulate the highlights of the past and phrases like social distancing. Give streamed New Year’s celebrations on
the other side of the world and break out the party streamers when the clock strikes midnight there. Pick your desired locale to view based on when you want bedtime to be. For each hour leading up to the big event, choose a different activity (a dance party for the first hour, a crafting station to follow it, a Silly String fight, followed by watching a favorite family movie, etc.). When it’s “midnight,” have a balloon drop and stream the classic song “Auld Lang Syne.”
Go Digital
Did you know streaming services like Netflix have kids New Year’s celebration programming? It’s true! Just input “Countdown” in the search bar, and characters from your little ones’ favorite series will pop up. Pick from a variety of shows, all of which will ring in the new year at a very comfortable 8:00 in the evening. Your kids will be none the wiser!
Have a Good Samaritan Party
There’s no better way to spend the last day of the year than making memories doing something good for the community. Offer to volunteer at a soup kitchen or animal shelter. Or simply work for a purpose at home, building blessing bags—Ziploc bags full of travel size toiletries and fast food gift cards—to place in your car and pass along the next time you see someone down on his luck at a busy intersection. Consider making gift baskets for your neighbors—dollar store treats such as candy, art supplies and a DVD make for a great surprise. Wrap up the presents, place them on the door step and then make a run for it. Your kids will love the thrill of doing something kind in secret, but if you feel your neighbors need a heads-up, feel free to text them about the not-so-anonymous gift!
Ring in New Year’s ... on New Year’s Day
If you have babies or little ones who still don’t sleep through the night, staying up late by choice means only one thing: You’ll be suffering for it the following day. The solution? Celebrate New Year’s Day instead of New Year’s Eve! Hail it a jammy day, where the attire of choice is none other than your favorite loungewear and pj’s. Order breakfast in or make something out of the box midday like fondue. Interview all members of the family, discovering their favorite part of the old year, their dreams and resolutions for the new one. Ring in the day with a mocktail or sparkling cider. Cheers to a new year!
Lauren Greenlee is a freelance writing mom of three from Olathe who enjoys ringing in the New Year with her family by watching It’s a Wonderful Life and eating raclette.
the BEST GIFTS for the holidays
Pinkfong Baby Shark Dancing DJ Boogie to the beat with Dance Detection Technology. When you move and groove, the Baby Shark will dance with you! Plays seven fun songs and popular remixes, plus three interactive games. $39.99, ages 2+, BabyShark.wowwee.com
BY ELENA EPSTEIN DIRECTOR OF THE NATIONAL PARENTING PRODUCT AWARDS
For more product reviews, visit NAPPPAAwards.com.
Under-the-Sea Mermaid Palace Splash into an undersea adventure with exciting play spaces built in, including a royal throne, slides, clamshell bed, seashell vanity, working gate and swing. $49.99, ages 3-8, LakeshoreLearning.com
Roybi Robot A sleek, adorable robot with lots of things to share. Designed to provide personalized education based on your child’s individual learning pace and interests, with more than 500 lessons, including language learning, basic STEM, stories, games and songs. $199.95, ages 3+, RoybiRobot.com Sharon, Lois and Bram’s Skinnamarink Based on the classic folk song made famous by a beloved trio of children’s entertainers, this picture book is best sung aloud! A timeless anthem of love and inclusion. $17.99, ages 3-7, PenguinRandomHouse.com
Insulated Sportee Bottle Made for active toddlers, offers chilled drinking with a big kid look, featuring an insulated base to keep drinks cool, and easy-grip sides. $13.99, TommeeTippee.com
Band Together Duck is a solo act, but in this delightful book, he learns all about the joys of friendship. $14.99, ages 4-8, APA.org/pubs/magination/ band-together
Imagine That! The Sesame Street Music of Joe Raposo & Jeff Moss Broadway and television actress Rena Strober is joined by friends Jason Alexander, French Stewart and the DOTZ blind children’s choir to celebrate the classic music from Sesame Street. $9.99 (digital album), $14.99 (CD); a portion of all sales goes to Guide Dogs of America and Gavin’s Groupies, RenaStrober.bandcamp.com Songs Across the Pond This transatlantic alliance, pairing an acclaimed American kids musician and standout UK family music maker, results in a thoroughly triumphant partnership—a hooky, sunny, ’60s-flavored rock ‘n’ roll collection the whole family will enjoy. $13.99, BradyRymer.com/songsacrossthepond
Jeepers Peepers, the “Ask and Answer” Question Game Party Pack Am I a monkey? A hamburger? An astronaut? A car? That’s the question on everyone’s mind—or glasses. A hilarious family game with 208 cards, 12 pairs of glasses, spinner, bingo chips and game ideas. $59.85, ages 6+, SuperDuperInc.com Just Add Fruits & Veggies This cool STEAM kit will deliver hours of exploration, creativity, learning and enjoyment. With more than 20 science and art activities—all involving what’s already in your kitchen. $22.95, ages 8+, GriddlyGames.com
Go Go Bird An intelligent flying bird that’s a perfect mix of traditional R/C and today’s trending drone toys. You can challenge your friends to a race, perform aerial tricks or see who can land in the most unique places using its intuitive remote control. $49.99, ages 8+, Amazon.com
Hello Friend/Hola Amigo A fun, bouncy bilingual song from 123 Andrés’ Grammy Award-winning album, now brought to life in a whole new way that’s perfect for story time sharing. $8.99, ages 1- 6, 123Andres.com Burger Academy Introduces families to the basic concepts of coding while providing a great game to play. Featuring a picnic aesthetic, visual instructions and chunky foam burger-themed components to serve both visual and hands-on learners. $15.00, ages 8+, shop.UltraPro.com
