11 minute read
Kids Say the Wisest Things
by Beth Long, PhD, LPC, BCBA
“Who Made Communication So Hard?” (Part 2: Ages 7-10)
“Who made communication so hard?” Such a wise question from a child. I simply responded, “Everyone sweet girl, everyone.” Last month, I wrote about how to communicate effectively with children from birth through age 6. This month we will explore how to best communicate with children 7 through 10 years of age.
If I could define this age in one word it would “explorers”. The ability to solve problems, comprehend cause and effect, and take responsibility for their actions emerge in this stage of life. These children are fully excited by the world around them and want to experience all of it. The primary role of parents in this stage is to “encourage”. It is vital for you to encourage (without judgement) their exploration of interests, friends, and extra-curricular activities.
Sadly, the emotional immaturity and sensitivity at this age too often leave children feeling discouraged. I hope these four simple rules will help you as you navigate this tight rope.
First, watch your body language. Make sure you are affirming with your face, body, and words. When possible, look at your child when they are talking to you and give her all of your attention. Make sure you devote a portion of each day to this. Most parents do this at bedtime, but find what works best for you and your family. Second, show empathy. Empathy is when you put yourself in another person’s shoes. Remind yourself what it was like to be 8 years old. When your parents would not let play outside after dark or forced you to visit family instead of going to your best friend’s birthday party. You can empathize with your child’s frustration without giving into it. One of the best ways to empathize is to tell your child a story from your own childhood so they know they are not alone.
Third, delay correction. Resist the urge to resolve the situation and let your child present possible solutions. You will be pleasantly surprised by some of his solutions. Also, you will be meeting your child right where he is developing new skills.
Fourth, avoid shaming language at all costs. When people feel shame, they believe they are inherently broken. Be careful to address your child’s behavior without attacking her as a person. Instead of, “You are so clumsy!” when your child spills her drink say, “You need to be more careful carrying your drink.” It is also essential for parents to not shame others. For example, if you see a man yelling at a cashier, talk to your children about how he is handling his anger inappropriately instead of simply saying, “He is a really mean man.”
My favorite way to communicate challenging lessons effectively with children at this stage is through stories. Intentionally watch movies, read books, and discuss people who overcame difficult situations and failures. Especially if you can find a story that relates to specific areas where your child needs to grow as a person. Stories of other people allow children to learn while bypassing their emotional sensitivities and insecurities. The most important thing to remember is that you cannot stop being their biggest cheerleader when they become discouraged. You can always find something to brag about. If your child is the least athletic person on the field, brag about him being the nicest in the dugout. If your child falls at the dance recital, reward her for getting up and trying again. Do whatever you can to constantly encourage them to continue exploring.
Dr. Beth Long received her education in Counseling Psychology from Chapman University. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Board Certified Behavior Analyst. Beth has worked in six unique clinical environments across the country and currently owns Works of Wonder Therapy in Montgomery. Beth utilizes the knowledge from a variety of different disciplines to give her patients the best care possible. To learn more visit www.worksofwondertherapy.com.
Tiaras & Bowties Dance
February 5* 5-8 p.m.
Come and join the Kershaw YMCA for a night in Paris. Parents are invited to bring their prince or princess for food, fun and a photo to remember the occasion. Bring your dancing shoes to compete in the dance-off. Prizes go to our dance-off winners and our Best Dressed Couple.
Cost: $40 per couple, $5 for each additional child. Contact Eleanor at (334) 265-1433 or ethomas@ymcamontgomery. org for more info.
Prattauga Art Guild Hosts Annual Art with a Heart Soup Event
February 19 * 11 a.m.-3 p.m. Prattville Creative Arts Center and Gallery. This is a fundraiser for the Autauga Interfaith Care Center food bank. For donations of $10 or more, receive a handmade clay bowl and soup donated by local restaurants. Shop a huge variety of artwork and enjoy a cheerful atmosphere all while supporting our local food bank. For more info, call (334)595-0850 or visit www.prattvilleal.gov.
Alabama Nature Center, Millbrook. February 19 * 7:30 a.m. Registration opens for packet pickup; 8:30 a.m. Critter Crawl 5K Race; 9:45 Yeti Dash; and 10:30 (tentative) trophy ceremony. Enjoy some great food and friends and get a little exercise while you race through 3.1 miles of our trails that are found on our 350 acre property! Registration is on runsignup.com, and the race fee is $25. The Yeti Dash is a 1-mile trail system run. Nature/critter costumes are mandatory for any guests who wish to participate in the Yeti Dash. For more info, call (334) 2854550 or visit www.alabamawildlife.org/.
ADT Presents Beauty & the Beast
March 4-6 * Troy University’s Davis Theatre
Alabama Dance Theatre is proud to bring back this sumptuous fairytale choreographed by its very own Sara Sanford. Beauty & the Beast remains one of ADT’s most extravagant performances to date, with stunning costumes, lighting, and scenery.
In addition to Beauty and the Beast, audiences will see two short works created for the upcoming Regional Dance America’s South East Regional Festival in Daytona Beach, Florida.
Performances are Friday, March 4th at 7:00 pm, Saturday, March 5th at 2:00 pm* and Sunday, March 5th at 2:00 pm at Troy University’s Davis Theatre. Tickets go on sale Tuesday, February 1st and range in price from $15-$30. Tickets can be purchased online at www.alabamadancetheatre.com.
Photo by Richard Calmes.
Wetumpka Depot Players present Popcorn Falls through February 12. Written by James Hindman and directed by Cushing Phillips, the sleepy town of Popcorn Falls is forced into bankruptcy when a neighboring town threatens to turn them into a sewage treatment plant. Their only hope – open a theater! Two actors play more than 20 roles in a world of farce, love and desperation, proving that art can save the world.
Later, Wetumpka presents A Storm Came Up February 24- March 12. Written and directed by Kristy Meanor, based on Alabama sports journalist Doug Segrest’s electrifying novel of the same title. For tickets or more info on these shows, call (334) 868-1440 or visit www. wetumpkadepot.com.
Alabama Shakespeare Festival presents Macbeth February 3-24. The Shakespeare classic is directed by Rick Dildine. The supernatural battle between fate and will is one of the Bard’s most action-packed tragedies. Recommended for ages 13+. For tickets or more info, visit https://asf.net/ or call (334) 271-5353.
Way Off Broadway in Prattville presents The Anatomy of Gray February 10-27 directed by Brady Walker. For more info or tickets, call (334) 595-0850 or visit http://wobt.prattvilleal.gov/.
Millbrook Community Players present Deliver Us from Mama February 24-27 and March 3-6. For tickets or more info, visit www.millbrooktheater.com/ or call (334) 782-7317.
Mann Museum Flashlight Tour
February 25 * 5:30-8:30 p.m.
Montgomery Zoo and Mann Wildlife
Museum, 2301 Coliseum Parkway.
Peer through the darkness and discover walls lined with animal pelts of the past, see several deer species nose to nose, and just around that corner may be a polar bear just waiting to meet you. This is an educational program and family fun night with hands-on experience geared for boys and girls aged 5-12 years old, and their parents. ADVANCED RESERVATIONS REQUIRED. For more info, call (334) 625-4900 or visit www. montgomeryzoo.com/.
Prattville hosts its annual Mardi Gras celebration February 12 beginning at 11 a.m. with arts and crafts, food and specialty vendors, inflatables, and other activities. The parade will start at 2 p.m. at the Autauga County Courthouse. It will follow Main Street through downtown, turn right on Northington then left on Doster Road, ending at Stanley Jensen Stadium. For more info, call (334) 595-0850 or visit www.prattvilleal.gov. Millbrook Revelers Mardi Gras Festival and Parade will be held February 19 starting at 9 a.m. Festival grounds officially open; parade will begin at noon. Millbrook Village Green area off Main Street. Food items vary from aligator on a stick to gumbo, red beans and rice, smoked turkey legs and more. There will be fun rides for children of all ages such as pony rides, water walker, a climbing wall and the zip ride. For more info, visit www.millbrookrevelers.org/.
Wetumpka’s Mardi Gras Festival is February 26. Vendors open at 9 a.m.; parade rolls at 1 p.m. This is a rain or shine event. For more info, visit WetumpkaMardiGras.com.
Valentine’s For Veterans
8 a.m.-5 p.m. Pike Road Town Hall, 9575 Vaughn Rd. Drop off handmade or store-bought cards with a sweet note by 5 p.m. on Feb. 10 to be delivered to local veterans in time for a Valentine’s surprise! For more info, e-mail Katy Brasfield at katy@pikeroad.us.
Valentine’s Day Pop-Up Shoppe
February 4-14 * 10 a.m.-6 p.m. except 1-6 p.m. on Sundays. The first-ever Valentine’s Day Pop-Up Shoppe will be located near Buff City Soap on Main Street in EastChase. The pop-up will feature local businesses that have everything you need for Valentine’s Day! Shop the first two weekends in February and on Valentine’s Day. Vendors include Flare Candles and Aqualime Skincare. For more info, visit www.theshoppesateastchase.com/.
Paint the Park for Jody 5K Color Fun Run
February 5 * 7:30 a.m. check-in; 9 a.m. run begins.
Gold Star Park in Wetumpka
This event raises money for the Jody Sanford Memorial Scholarship Fund. Jody was a Wetumpka High School student and cross country athlete who passed away in 2014. All proceeds will go toward supporting the scholarship program that has been established in her name.
For more info, call (334) 430-6627 or (334) 391-6500 or e-mail jodyahutto@ yahoo.com.
Chantela Lane
Peter Crump Elementary
Local mom Quanda Rogers-Crosskey nominated our February Teacher of the Month and shares, “Ms. Lane is funny and so nice. My son loves her class especially because he loves math and how she teaches them different ways to figure out problems. Mrs. Lane loves her students as a grandmother would.”
For 26 years, Chantela Lane has taught at several schools in the Montgomery County school district. When last deciding a location to sow seeds in our future leaders, she felt Peter Crump Elementary was the place for her. It was the culture that drew her near to this special school. Mrs. Lane graduated from Alabama State University, where she received a Bachelor’s Degree in Elementary EDU, a Master’s Degree in Elementary Education, and a Certification in Administration.
Becoming a 4th-grade teacher just doesn’t come by coincidence. It takes a special person to contribute to the lives of young minds at such a tender age. It’s a vital transition during a students’ academic career. During her education career, Mrs. Lane has been a computer tech teacher, a reading coach, a 3rd-grade teacher, a 4th-grade teacher, and a 5th-grade teacher. She truly enjoys the 4th-grade curriculum and feels it pushes students to think, analyze, and learn in more structured ways than they did in lower grades.
Like most teachers, being inside the classroom is a calling for Mrs. Lane. It’s a gift of satisfaction to make a difference in childrens’ lives. That’s something she wishes more people would understand, despite the challenges that many teachers face.
She shares, “I want to be an effective teacher and help students master skills so they can become productive in life, and apply those learned skills to real-life situations.”
As a teacher, setting goals is crucial for the fundamentals of learning. Mrs. Lane’s goals outline inspiring others to become teachers. “There is a great need for teachers,” she shares. Building and sustaining relationships is also on her agenda. “I want to work with all organizations to achieve and improve student achievement, and also to avoid teacher burnout. I want to teach as long as I can while upholding high standards of professionalism.”
