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This former stay-at-home mom turned educator shares why she has a passion for working with young minds and creating an environment of inclusion for students. She also explains how she has continued to cope with the loss of her oldest son and how she advocates wholeheartedly for her young son with autism.
Columns
page 2
Publisher’s Note
Jason Watson
page 4
Pastor's Perspective
Daniel Gillenwater, Church at Eastern Oaks
page 8
Faith @ Work
page 10
The topic of finances, and particularly the giving away of finances, can be a delicate one. What does God ask of His followers when it comes to money? When it comes to giving?
page 14
Ministry Spotlight:
Four local churches are making an impact in the lives of young adults throughout the River Region. Each has the similar mission of helping adults age 18-40(ish) grow in and live out their Christian faith while also providing a safe place for deep friendships and connections to other believers.
page 13
Moments with Kym
Kym Klass
page 17
The Intersection
Bob Crittenden
page 18
Women Arising
Pastor Kemi Searcy
page 19
Counselor’s Corner
George Ishman, LPC
page 20
Dave $ays
Dave Ramsey
We believe the Good News concerning the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ is worth sharing with our friends and neighbors in the River Region. Each month we deliver this life-changing message to the centers of activity across our community in a user-friendly and relevant way to empower and equip all those seeking to grow closer to God. Join us in this mission by sharing a copy with your neighbor or by becoming an advertising partner starting next month.
Editor
DeAnne Watson deanne@readjourneymagazine.com
Publisher
Jason Watson jason@readjourneymagazine.com
Research Editor
Wendy McCollum
Contributing Writers
Tim Challies
Bob Crittenden
Daniel Gillenwater
George Ishman, LPC
Kym Klass
Dave Ramsey
Kemi Searcy
Advertising Opportunities
Jason Watson ads@readjourneymagazine.com
(334) 213-7940 ext 702
Digital Manager
Scott Davis
Ad Design
Tim Welch, Welch Designs
River Region Christians is published monthly by Keep Sharing, P.O. Box 230367, Montgomery, AL 36123. For information, call 334-213-7940. River Region Christians is copyrighted 2023 by KeepSharing. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or part without written permission is prohibited.
The opinions expressed in River Region Christians are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the view of the owners, nor do they constitute an endorsement of products or services herein. River Region Christians has the right to refuse any content that is not consistent with its statement of faith.
I don’t know about you, but I have a bad habit of shaping Christianity to match my preferences more than my preferences being shaped by Christianity. When that happens, I live way below the overflowing life God offers me as His child. I miss out!
God’s creation is diverse and so are His children. His majesty is displayed in the variety of all that He has made. We should be in awe and worship Him in light of this, but we get stuck naval gazing and miss the joys of celebrating others made in His image. Others who may not act or look like us, but have so much to bless us with if they were allowed into our lives.
It’s not only us personally who are impacted negatively by these narrow views. There are many people who don’t believe they can know our Jesus because they just wouldn’t fit in with “our group”. They might be too messy or have colored hair. Maybe they enjoy different music styles than you or grew up with fewer economic benefits. The list could go on and on, yet not one of these things prevents us from knowing Christ and walking together with Him. Quite the opposite. When we come together under Christ, not expecting everyone to be just like us, we show the world the amazing grace of God to make a people from every tribe and nation. This is such a easy and powerful way to display God’s grace.
The world loves to hate. God’s people should love to love! In the manner in which we’ve been loved by God in Christ. This beautiful unity is what River Region Christians is and has always been about... Sharing hope and building community through the Gospel across the River Region. May what you read in this month’s issue inspire you to celebrate your relationship with God and with others.
Finally, thank you to the advertisers that support our ministry, and our writers and contributors who use their talents to encourage us with the Good News.
Parents, another school year has begun, and hopefully, all the school supply shopping has been completed by this point. The pencils, crayons, and glue sticks have all been purchased. If you have older children, maybe you bought a compass, protractor, or scientific calculator, you know, those really important supplies that your child will NEVER use again for the rest of their life! When my children were younger, they didn’t really care about pencils, pens, or paper. The priority was the backpack. Every new school year necessitated a new pack that adequately reflected their favorite characters. Between my two children, we had everything from Paw Patrol to Disney Princesses. Having a cool backpack was the one school supply that mattered most.
As the new school year is underway, I encourage every parent to ask one ques-
tion, “What matters most?” As you raise your children, what is your biggest priority? What matters most to you, your student, and your family? Is it academics? While good grades are important and quality education is valuable, getting all “A’s” means nothing if your child is not walking with the Lord. Are sports your priority? I enjoy competition, and young people can benefit greatly from being part of a team. But again, this is meaningless if they do not have a relationship with Jesus. So many things will compete for your student’s heart and mind this school year: grades, sports, girlfriends, boyfriends, clubs, cell phones, social media, etc. However, most of these things can be summarized by Ecclesiastes 12:8, “Vanity of vanities, says the Preacher; all is vanity.”
Schedule your retirement review today.
It’s been said that we spend more time planning vacations than planning for retirement. Let’s set aside some time to create positive change for you and the people you care about and understand:
• How much you’ll need to retire
• If you are on track for your retirement goals
• Which IRA is right for your retirement needs – Roth or traditional
• The importance of asset allocation and how it can help as you work toward your long-term goals
It’s more than just money. Investing is about realizing the possibilities of your future.
Sang Y Chung, AAMS®, CRPC® Financial Advisor 1951 Berry Chase Place Montgomery, AL 36117 334-271-9573Unfortunately, most students are not yet mature enough to correctly identify what matters most, which is why God gave them you! You are their guardian, their protector, and their example. Believe it or not, you are the greatest influence in your child’s life. As God’s word says in Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” The answer to “What matters most?” is quite simple. A relationship with Jesus matters most. If you’re not a follower of Jesus, feel free to contact me. I’d love to talk to you about this. If you follow Jesus, let me offer two activities to place at the top of your priority list this school year.
First, commit to a local family of believers. You and your family need a church home. Within the local church, you learn to walk daily in a relationship with Jesus. You learn to live like Jesus, serve like Jesus, and love like Jesus. Your spiritual education in a Bible-believing church will benefit your family more than anything students learn at school. As we read in 1 Timothy 4:8, “For while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for this present life and also for the life to come.” Find a local church and commit to being there whenever the doors are open.
Second, begin the practice of family worship. I cannot exaggerate the importance of the local church, but Sunday and Wednesday should not be the only time your children see you open your Bible, pray, or worship the Lord. This should be something you do as a family throughout the week. If it truly is your top priority, it should be a priority every day. And don’t let the idea of “family worship” intimidate you. We’re simply talking about family devotions. Start by gathering your family together for 10-15 minutes each day. Simply read a scripture, pray, and sing a worship song together.
There are many essential things in life; nothing matters more than a relationship with the Divine Son of God, Jesus Christ. This school year can be one of joy and peace for your family. The secret is to put Jesus first and follow Him.
Pastor Daniel Gillenwater a Montgomery, Alabama native and is the Senior Pastor of The Church at Eastern Oaks where he has served since December of 2004. He received his Master’s and Doctorate degrees from Beeson Divinity School. Pastor Daniel has been married to Hanna for 19 years and they have two children, Lydia and Ford.
The community is invited to a free, family-friendly Movie Night at Capital City Church of the Nazarene on the third Friday of each month (September 15, October 20, November 17, etc.). Registration begins at 6:30, and the show begins at 7:00. Concessions will be available. No RSVP needed. Capital City Church of the Nazarene is located at 4450 Vaughn Road in Montgomery. For more information, call 272-8176.
Join Us for the Women’s Noon Bible Study and Discover the Joy of Living a Christ-Centered Life! Starting September 27th, we’re launching our Women’s Noon Bible Study, and we want you to be a part of this incredible journey. In a world that often pulls us in countless directions, finding solace and guidance in a Christ-centered life is more essential than ever. This study is a unique opportunity to delve into the teachings of the Bible and explore what it means to live with Jesus at the heart of everything we do.
Time: Every Wednesday, 12:10 PM - 12:50 PM
Location: His Vessel Ministries at Union Station
Teacher: Dr. Judi Jehle
Throughout the sessions, we will explore passages that shed light on how to infuse our lives with the teachings of Christ. This is not just a study; it’s an experience of growth, fellowship, and deeper understanding. Whether you’re new to studying the Bible or you’ve been on this journey for a while, this is a safe and welcoming space for women of all walks of life to come together, learn, share, and inspire one another. Don’t miss out on this incredible opportunity to connect, learn, and grow in faith.
Our dedicated doctors, nurses, researchers and staff are committed to finding a cure, so kids like Adrian can live their healthiest life – cancer free. We never give up hope of a world without childhood cancer and blood disorders, and that’s why we are here.
September 28 * 5:30-8:30 pm
115 E. Jefferson St, Montgomery
Join us for a special evening to learn more about Mercy, Inc. and how you can get involved! We will be serving dinner followed by guest speakers and a dessert auction. Proceeds from this event benefit Mercy and our partners overseas in our ongoing efforts to empower those most vulnerable, share the Gospel through acts of compassion and break the cycle of poverty for generations!
Please RSVP by September 22 to Rachel Libby at rachel.l@ mercyinc.org. No ticket pur chase necessary.
The 24th Annual Faith Radio Golf Tournament will be held on Tuesday, September 19, at Wynlakes Golf and Country Club in Montgomery. There are two flights: morning and afternoon. The tournament offers an outstanding opportunity for you to partner with Faith Radio while also promoting your business through sponsorship. For more information, contact Billy Irvin at Faith Radio or email is Billy@faithradio.org.
Coming November 19, Vaughn Forest Church will host an evening with the “Stay Strong Tour” with Danny Gokey, along with his friend Austin French (“Born Again,” “Freedom Hymn”), and introducing Natalie Layne. Together, they are excited to be hitting 20+ cities nationwide for these acoustic nights of stories and song that are sure to refresh and remind you to ‘Stay Strong’ in the midst of whatever life might bring. You don’t want to miss the opportunity to join them for a powerful evening of uplifting music and encouragement! Visit vaughnforest.com/events for details and tickets.
RRC: How did being raised in the church shape your childhood?
KG: My upbringing in the Southern Baptist church instilled a strong sense of community, compassion, and moral values. These principles guide my interactions with both students and colleagues. I believe in treating everyone with respect and kindness, and my faith reminds me of the importance of empathy and understanding, regardless of our differences.
RRC: You were a stay-at-home mom, but later transitioned to the education workforce. In doing so, was it a spiritual calling to connect with kids?
KG: My role as a mother was incredibly fulfilling. I also felt a calling to contribute to my community differently. My faith has always
emphasized the importance of compassion, empathy, and making a positive impact on others. My time as a stay-at-home mom gave me a unique perspective on nurturing and supporting young minds. It helped me understand the challenges families and children face personally. This understanding, coupled with my desire to create a positive environment for students to learn and grow, motivated me to pursue a career in education.
RRC: How do you share your faith with students without forcing your beliefs upon them?
KG: Sharing my faith with students is something I approach with great care and consideration. I understand that our school community has students from various religious and cultural backgrounds, and I believe in fostering an inclusive and respectful environment for everyone. Rather than imposing my beliefs on students, I aim to lead by example through my actions and interactions. I strive to demonstrate values of compassion, empathy, and respect rooted in my faith. I emphasize that everyone has the right to their beliefs and that diversity matters. I’m always here to listen to their perspectives and provide guidance without trying to change their personal beliefs.
RRC: Your youngest son is autistic. As an educator, how did you know Andruw was facing some challenges?
KG: As an educator and mom, I recognized Andruw’s speech delay and sought medical advice. He was diagnosed with autism by a neurologist, and I became his advocate, embracing the role of his first teacher and working to ensure he led a fulfilling life filled with love and support.
RRC: You’ve spoken on panels regarding autism. What advice would you give other parents who might be struggling to adjust?
KG: I’d advise parents to embrace their child’s uniqueness, seek support from experts and communities, and remember that progress happens at their child’s pace. Connecting with other parents facing similar challenges can provide valuable insights and reassurance. Self-care is crucial. and
allowing parents to effectively support their children while maintaining their well-being is healthy and can be successful.
RRC: In 2018, you lost your oldest son, Artis, to suicide. How did your faith in God help you through the stages of grief?
KG: Losing my son to suicide was an incredibly painful experience. My faith in God became an anchor during the stages of grief. Prayer and leaning on my beliefs provided comfort, reminding me that I was not alone. My strength came from believing there was a purpose through the pain and loss.
RRC: In what ways can the community support all of God’s children in the school systems?
KG: The community can support all children in the school system by fostering an environment of inclusion and understanding. Encouraging empathy and teaching respect for diversity can help students embrace each other’s differences. Providing resources for students with special needs, like autism, ensures they receive the necessary support. Organizing awareness campaigns and workshops on topics like mental health and bullying prevention can promote a culture of care and compassion. Ultimately, creating a safe and nurturing space for all students helps them thrive and succeed.
RRC: Do you believe the power of prayer impacts change in your life?
KG: Yes, I firmly believe that the power of prayer can bring about significant change in my life. Prayer provides me with a sense of comfort, hope, and reassurance, especially during challenging times. It helps me navigate difficult decisions and moments of uncertainty. Prayer helps me stay grounded, focused, and aligned with my faith’s principles. It’s a source of strength that empowers me to face life’s challenges with resilience and make positive choices that reflect my beliefs.
One of the great challenges of the Christian life is to become a giver— and not just a giver, but a cheerful giver. The Bible commends generosity, but generosity that is free from compunction or coercion, for “each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”
We must not love money so much that we fail to be generous. Yet we must also ensure we are not giving merely as a way to assuage guilt or relieve external pressure. As is so often the case in the practice of the Christian faith, we need to guard against competing extremes.
It has long been my observation that it often takes some time for Christians to begin to give to the church (and/or to other ministries) and to do so in a way that is genuinely generous. And I think this actually makes a good deal of sense. The majority of people who come to Christ do so when they are young and in a phase of life when earnings tend to be low and a lot expenses loom before them. We can hardly criticize young people for thinking that good financial stewardship must involve prioritizing their savings account. Why give money to the church when you aren’t certain you’ll be able to afford next year’s tuition or put down first-and-last on an apartment? How does it make sense to give money away when you have so little and need so much?
It doesn’t make sense. At least it doesn’t make sense by any standard principle of personal finance. But then
again, God’s ways are rarely consistent with the human mind and often push us to reexamine what we have always taken for granted. In that vein, here are a few things I would encourage young or new Christians to consider.
Consider that your money is actually God’s money. While your name may be on the bank account and stamped on the debit card, it is God who owns it. You merely manage it on his behalf. And so as you consider your finances, the controlling question should not be “What should I do with my money?” but “What does God want me to do with his money?”
Consider the human tendency to become captivated by money. The Bible warns that money can control us to such a degree that it competes with God for our ultimately loyalty. Every one of us will be tempted to try to find in money what God means for us to find only in himself. Is there something we can do to prove to ourselves and to God that we put him ahead of money? Read on.
Consider that God promises to provide what you need. One of the reasons we can become so easily enamored with money is that it seems to be the solution to so many of our problems. Money can put food in our bellies, a roof over our head, and so much more. Yet it is God who has promised he will provide these things. Yes, he is likely to use money to do it, but it’s important to ultimately trust in him rather than in the strength of our bank account.
Consider that God expects you to commit some of your finances to his causes in the world. He makes it clear that he expects each Christian to give—and to give primarily and as a matter of first importance to the local church. He expects his work to carry on through the means provided by his people.
Finally, consider that obedience fosters joy. When you do what God calls you to do, you experience joy rather than guilt or sorrow. Hence, if you give to the Lord’s work, you’ll find it a joyful rather than difficult experience. In
fact, when you choose not to give, you are denying yourself the pleasure of doing so.
With all of those building blocks in place, it falls to you to take God at his word. You do that by giving, and as you give you are essentially putting God to the test (though in a good and acceptable way). As you give you can prayerfully say to God, “I have trusted you with my soul and am now choosing to trust you with my money. This doesn’t really make sense to me, but I trust you. So please show me that your ways are better than my ways. Please show me that you will provide even as I give to your work. Please accept this gift and prove yourself to me.”
And he will. God cannot prove himself if you will not give him the opportunity. But he can and will prove himself once you create the context. He will prove that he will provide not despite your generosity, but because of it. Because when it comes to God, the normal, accepted, and seemingly common-sense principl es of finance just don’t add up.
How much should you give? That is a whole different topic. But briefly, the Bible does not provide an exact amount or percentage, though the Old Testament tithe of ten percent of your income is probably a good place to begin. (And no, don’t get all hung up on pre-tax or post-tax income—just pick one and go with it.) My recommendation—and, to be clear, this is me and not the Bible speaking here—is that you should give enough that you notice it in some way. It is one thing to throw a few spare coins in the offering plate but another to give an amount that is noticeable and that actually makes a difference in your life. Perhaps that means you cannot buy something you had hoped to buy or that you’ll be heading into a new semester with a little less buffer than you had expected. But God knows and God honors that. That small sacrifice is one you can lay before him and joyfully do without for the sake of trusting him and serving his cause.
After I purchased a new car a couple of years ago, I began seeing it everywhere –when, before the purchase, hadn’t truly given it any thought whatsoever. To be honest, I don’t even like the car. Go figure.
Now I see it in every color. I see it in every city I’m in – within the River Region and out. I can’t get away from it. It has multiplied in my world.
But this multiplication has a name.
It’s called the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon, also known as the frequency illusion, where once you purchase a new car, you start seeing it everywhere. The idea is that there is an attentional ‘awakening’ to the object that now holds value to you. A person doesn’t “set a new trend by buying that car; more likely it became a salient image in your brain where once it was part of the noise,” according to a PhenoSys article.
Now, what if – what IF – we allowed a “phenomenon” to allow us to see God everywhere. Like the new car – but, God. Like the purchase, but instead see the one who heals, who loves unconditionally, the who died for our sins.
What if? And does it really take a “phenomenon”? What if we allowed the goodness of God to consume everything we see? Everything we see through the good of others because of Him? The miracles. The comfort. The giving. The extension of his love through others.
“You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.”
(Jeremiah 29:13)
There was a period after my sister passed away in late 2015 that my relationship with God was rocky at best. I was good at keeping anything at arm’s length during that time if I felt betrayed, or if I felt wronged. Cheated. Abandoned.
Still, over and over for weeks, I heard “Just be Held” by Casting Crowns. On the radio, on random playlists. In my car, at home: Hold it all together Everybody needs you strong But life hits you out of nowhere And barely leaves you holding on
And when you’re tired of fighting Chained by your control There’s freedom in surrender Lay it down and let it go.
So when you’re on your knees and answers seem so far away You’re not alone, stop holding on and just be held Your world’s not falling apart, i t’s falling into place I’m on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
The first stanza was gut-wrenching every time I heard it. The second, I refused to believe. And the chorus? Well, it felt impossible. I held my arm out for a long time.
Instead of believing the words in the song (and deep in my heart), I chose to seek counseling – basically, to pay someone else to tell me the same.
And I was told, “Seek Him. Him!”
And strange enough – and true story – I was also given the analogy of the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon. “You know when you buy a new car …”
You see it everywhere.
And that is what we can do as well. I’m not saying it was an easy transition for me during a most difficult time, but my arm eventually became heavy.
I put it down, and began seeing God everywhere I needed Him. Through friends. Through the kindness of strangers. Through my work. My family. Sunrises. Sunsets. Through all the storms.
I’ll probably never actually like my car, and seeing it everywhere reminds me more and more of that. But I’ll forever be grateful for a God who never provided me a reason to give up hope in seeing Him everywhere I turn. Wherever I am. Whoever I’m with. Wherever I drive.
And allowing Him to multiply in my world.
There is a vibrant world of Young Adult groups in churches that live on faith, friendship – and most importantly, the word of God.
What is the vision behind the Young Adult ministry at your church? Gathered by Grace is a community of young adults,
What do you hope the young adults gain from the ministry week after week? I hope our participants leave each week knowing God loves them, being better versed in our conversation topics for the week, equipped with better biblical understanding and tips on living as a person of faith, knowing we hold a safe space to talk about tough things, and feeling a part of an authentic community of faith where they are genuinely welcomed. Visit www.gbgministry.org or text or call 334-544-0472.
What is the name and age range of your Young Adult ministry? Frazer Young Adult (FYA). Our overall age range is 18-45, broken down into smaller, more targeted age-ranges.
What is the vision behind the Young Adult ministry at your church? The Frazer Young Adult Ministry exists to deepen Scriptural understanding through discussion and study, build authentic Christian community, and serve the needs of our community alongside other believers.
How do you feel those in your Young Adult ministry support each other? FYA is comprised of six Bible study groups that meet weekly to delve into Scripture together and share in each other’s joys and burdens. Praying for each other and checking on one another throughout the week gives members an opportunity to support others and receive support when needed. Our groups see members praying through college and career decisions, celebrating proposals and weddings, welcoming new babies, and tackling the ins-and-outs of marriage and parenting.
What do you hope young adults gain from the ministry week after week? My hope is that our young adults gain a feeling of truly being known and cared for and that they feel encourged, equipped, and spurred on in their walk with the Lord. Email: groups@frazer.church for more information.
What is the name and age range of your Young Adult ministry? Rooted Young Adults aged from 18-29.
What is the vision behind the Young Adult ministry at your church? The vision is to make faithful disciples of Christ who disciple others.
How do you feel those in your Young Adult ministry support each other? We gather regularly breaking bread, praising God, studying His Word, and praying for each other. We try to model
the early church seen in Acts 2 in every part of the church, even our young adult ministry. (Acts 2:42-47)
Everything we do as a church is based in Scripture, this excerpt among others, and our individual ministries are no exception.
On breaking bread: In this passage, it refers to the Lord’s Supper, but we don’t take the Lord’s Supper every week. Rather, we gather over a meal and fellowship, praying for one another. We also follow the rest of this passage to the best of our ability. Young Christians are not second-rate Christians but have been truly saved, justified, redeemed, and gifted to serve and participate in the local congregation.
What do you hope the young adults gain from the ministry week after week? I hope young adults gain theological insights about God and the Bible that have immense practical effects on their walk with Christ daily. Currently, we are working through theological terms, e.g. Holiness, Transcendence, Regeneration, Justification, Perseverance, etc., and defining them biblically. From there we look at what a practical outflow of this biblical theology looks like in personal life day-to-day. The young adults who are coming to faith and being radically saved are, oftentimes, biblically illiterate and do not understand church lingo. We hope to culminate all these things together as we make faithful, rooted disciples who begin discipling others. Visit online at easternoaks. org or email jayden@easternoaks.org.
What is the name and age range of your Young Adult ministry? Journey Young Adults. We work with ages 1825 and sometimes a few years older.
What is the vision behind the Young Adult ministry at your church? Journey Church exists to reach people who are disconnected from God and lead them to become fully devoted followers of Christ. Through our Young Adult ministry, we want to help build community for college, career, and young married couples in their 20s that will strengthen their journey with God.
How do you feel those in your Young Adult ministry support each other? Our young adults support one another through large and small life group meetings each month. Life groups are where our life in Christ grows and flourishes. As a bridge between our life in the world and our life in Christ, these groups provide a place where young adults can build Christian friendships, learn from each other, and enjoy the community God designed.
What do you hope the young adults gain from the ministry week after week? We want our young adults to gain connection to each other and ownership over their relationship with Christ. Visit myjourneychruch.com or Instagram @journeyyacommunity.
Several months ago on The Meeting House on Faith Radio, I featured a conversation with J.P. DeGance of Communio, which helps strengthen marriages through empowering the Church. Based on a study it had released, he lamented the decline of marriage, which has led to loneliness, as well as fatherlessness. A FoxNews.com article on the survey said it found “22% of regular churchgoers are lonely,” but that “single churchgoers were more than three times more likely to feel lonely.”
The article quotes DeGance, who said:
“What we’re seeing in the study is that the net effect of all of that is the crisis of loneliness; that the most lonely people walking around in our churches, in our communities, are actually not the elderly or widows. It’s men and women in their 30s, who in every other time period — almost every other decade before this century — would have been overwhelmingly likely to be married.”
He noted, “They’re not today, and as a consequence, they are also the among the loneliest Americans…”
A survey compatible with the data shared by Communio was addressed by professor and author Alex Chediak in a recent article on The Stream website. He wrote, “As of 2021, one quarter of 40-year-olds in the United States had never married. That’s a record high, according to a Pew report... It’s up from 20% in 2010. In 1980, it was only 6%.” He then related this sobering statistic:
“...only about one-in-four 40-year-olds who had not married in 2001 had done so by age 60. Meaning most had not married.” What are the implications, according to Chediak?
So, to put it bluntly, if you’re not married by 40, the odds are even that you never will be.
That’s concerning. Marriage goes along with higher levels of happiness, longevity, health, and wealth. Especially for men. Married households also provide the most stable environment for raising kids. Given the steep decline in marriage, it’s not surprising that we’re at just 1.7 births per female. That’s well below the replacement rate of 2.1.
But why? He offers this:
But what’s up with the 42% drop in the marriage rate? Yeah, we can talk about birth control or the loss of Christian cultural influences. These have contributed to the decoupling of sex and marriage. There’s also the acceptability of cohabitation — even though social science data shows it’s more of a breeding ground for divorce than a preparation for marriage. But behind these trends is a complete shift in mindset that puts marriage into a “someday, maybe” category as opposed to a goal worth pursuing with intentionality and care. We are rejecting God’s good design for our species.
Noted researcher Dr. Brad Wilcox was quoted: “Young adults today are putting a lot more focus on education and work than
they are on marriage and starting a family.” Chediak comments: “They know that the former will affect their success. But they don’t connect the dots on how a lifelong commitment to one person will be the single greatest predictor of their long-term happiness.” He adds: “There is a power within marriage to form us into the men and women that God designed us to be.”
The markers are there: marriage is related to success and long-term happiness. But, as the writer of this piece relates, there is a worthwhile cost: one must give up his or her independence and freedom in order to experience the blessings of loving and being united with a mate for life.
That has certainly been my wife, Beth’s, and my experience over almost 33 years of marriage, which we celebrated last month! Through our love for God and each other, through our shared experiences, and through the pursuit of His best - together - we have seen the Lord move in powerful ways in and through us. I believe I am a better person because of her; I cannot imagine not having her in my life! But, a sense of rugged individualism in our society causes one to think he or she is better alone.
The column states three “blessings” of marriage:
One, a measure of protection from sexual immorality. Two, deep companionship in together reflecting God’s image as a malefemale, one-flesh union. Three, the gift of children, at least in most cases. These children can be raised to love Jesus, bless society (contributing to the tax base), and take care of Mom and Dad when they’re old.
Marriage is intended for our good and for the good of a working society and it is the concept through which we grow in numbers. (Right now, we’re below the “replacement rate.”) As Chediak states, “We need to speak of this power to the young adults in our circles, to celebrate strong marriages, and to help more households be formed and formed well.”
of the words anticipation and uncertainty urge an individual to be prepared to trust in God because unpredictable things can and will happen. It is also helpful for Christians to find a way to cope in the natural body.
Back to school is a special time for parents and students. During this time, students focus their concerns on several things while parents have a list of their own. Students often worry about academics, social acceptance, or concerns about their own self-perceptions. Parents find themselves downplaying their concerns until summertime winds down, and then they begin worrying about academics, mental health, school shootings, social media usage, and peer pressure. This wonderful season is packed with uncertainty and throttled with anticipation for the year ahead. Now that school has been in session for a few weeks, let’s identify what can be done to combat any anxiety you or your child may be experiencing.
The Bible gives us specific insight in regard to uncertainty and anticipation. Philippians 4:6-7 urges individuals to “not be anxious about anything.” Matthew 6:34 encourages individuals to “not be anxious about tomorrow.” Uncertainty is the state of being unsure and experiencing unpredictable and unreliable conditions. If you are human, uncertainty can make you feel apprehensive about moving forward. The Bible teaches Christians to look ahead and believe with certainty that prayers will be answered. It is also very possible for individuals to anticipate something negative, and that very thing comes to fruition. A combination
Jitters or anxiety can be triggered by a big event or a build-up of more minor stressful life situations. It is in human nature to seek understanding during times of uncertainty. Attempting to understand can, in some cases, cause individuals to overthink. Overthinking can cause individuals to develop anxiety over time. Overthinking often leads individuals to be inactive because it can induce feelings of overwhelm and fear. Most overthinking causes individuals to experience analysis paralysis. Continuous thoughts, with little to no resolution, can cause one not to make any decisions. Overthinking can leave individuals stuck with no way to move forward.
There are many differences and similarities in how parents and children experience stress. Parents experience stress related to responsibility and children face stress related to expectation. For parents, school safety, peer pressure, and will their child be accepted among their peers are only a handful of the worries. It is typical for parents to feel somewhat responsible if their children are not doing well in school. Much of the stress children face concerns peer relations, establishing their identity, and balancing home and school life. The concerns of the parents and students are both valid.
Jjitters can also cause individuals to have some physical symptoms. Common physical symptoms include body aches,
stomach aches, and tense muscles. In addition, parents tend to avoid allowing their children to participate in activities because of fear for their child’s safety. Thoughts of uncertainty can cause parents to experience fatigue and irritability, plus cause difficulty sleeping. Students may also have trouble sleeping and even refuse to go to school. As the responsible party, it is vital for parents not to transfer their fears and unhealthy rationalizations to their children. Parents need to understand what they can do to help their children feel comfortable. Combating your misunderstanding is a good start. Identifying your fears and addressing your overthinking can prove effective. Parents can also foster a healthy communication relationship with their children. Healthy communication allows children to express their concerns with parents, allows parents to validate their child’s feelings, and helps them rationalize their unhealthy thoughts. Assisting students to find comfort can prepare them to cope with anxiety and provide a space for a healthy school year.
George Ishman knew at an early age he wanted to be an advocate for change and an inspiration for individuals who live in communities facing economic challenges. Ishman received his undergraduate degree in English from ASU in 2017, where he graduated Cum Laude. He obtained his Master of Science Degree in Counseling and Psychology from Troy University in 2021. As a new counselor, George is looking forward to helping clients find solutions and resources that will support their efforts to achieve their optimal level of functioning. George provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Behavioral Modification Therapy, and Supportive Therapy for adults and adolescents.
Q. My husband is an entrepreneur. He has a very hard driving, energetic personality and way of doing things, while I’m more laid back and soft spoken. How can I support him best in terms of encouraging and communicating with him? I want him to know I care, that I want to help and that I’m proud of him.
A. I think you’ve already taken a good first step toward all of that by recognizing and identifying your personality styles. If he’s a hard-charging entrepreneur, there’s a good chance God sent you into his life to slow him down a little, and help him keep it between the ditches. That’s what my wife does for me, and I’m so thankful she does.
Once in a while, I’ll get so wrapped up in a project or opportunity that I can’t stop thinking about it or turn it loose—even
after hours or on weekends. That’s when she knows to step in and say, “Honey, did you ever think about this possibility?” Sometimes she’s a little more straightforward, and I’ll hear something like, “You know, you really need to just slow down and chill.”
The fact that you two are wired a little differently, and that you can be thoughtful and calm when he’s all over the place, is one of the most valuable benefits you bring to your relationship. Once he understands this, he’ll begin to respect it more. And when it happens, you folks are going to win in your relationship and in business. It’s going to
make such a positive impact on your lives, because you’ll be making steady progress that’s more predictable and reasonable, rather than things launching into the stratosphere and being followed by the inevitable crashes that are bound to happen from time to time.
As you grow to better understand the other’s thinking, and how each is necessary for success, a great thing will be created. Your quieter, thoughtful side, and his energy and passion to pull things forward, will become the key to you two reaching heights together that you never would’ve achieved apart from each other.
I love discussions about family relationships and business. Great question!