get understanding.” When we say “stop”, we mean we intentionally schedule time when we both aren’t pre-occupied or busy and discuss the issue at hand. At that time, we have a very frank, direct conversation with a resolution and steps to get better. RRJ: Couples who work together is rare. How do you two do that successfully? When we first started the business, Charles was still active duty military. Therefore, I was running the day to day operations and he served as support staff with decision making, accounting, etc. We established roles and try not to cross into each other’s lanes. Also, Charles has never had a problem with me being CEO and allowing me to fully operate at that capacity (w/o any male egos involved or biblical laws enforced where the wife has to submit to the husband). When we are working together, we treat each other as business partners and not husband and wife. And that has been huge for us.
RRJ: Thank you both for taking the time to share your journey with Christ, and how you’re honoring Him where He has called you to shine. To begin with, how long have you two been followers of Christ? Essence: Over 30 years. Charles: 24 years. RRJ: As owners of Smoothie King, managing your household, and raising two children, your plates are full! What challenges does that bring into your marriage and how does your faith guide you towards practical solutions? Communication issues seem to come up most. We’re often going in different directions and definitely get our calendars, dates, and activities crossed up from time to time. Of course, prayer for each other is important and a given. But we also have to intentionally stop and “in all our getting, River Region’s Journey
February 2019
just know the stories of the Bible, but received revelation knowledge to apply to our everyday life. RRJ: Has your marriage impacted your faith? Yes, we grew up in church. We received our foundation in God there. Those values instilled in us early on, remained with us through college years and even now. RRJ: In our earlier conversation, you touched on your parents and their influence in your lives. How intentional are you about allowing your children to see into your marriage and to learn from you two?
RRJ: What qualities did your spouse possess that made you think he/she was someone special?
VERY! We want our children to see us communicate and even disagree, so they also see how husbands and wives resolve conflict. We want them to see how a husband loves his wife as Christ loves the church. Also allow them to see how a family sets core values to live by, how to write a vision for your family, and how to even apologize if/when you’re wrong. We also allow them to see the equality in our relationship.
Charles: I loved Essence’s outgoing spirit (her ability to talk to anyone in any setting was so important for a young Army Officer). She was goal oriented and very determined to reach all of her goals.
RRJ: Finally, since this is our Wedding and Marriage issue, many couples just starting out will be reading this interview. What’s one piece of advice you two would want to give them?
Essence: Charles made me laugh a lot, however, he was genuine and a good listener. He also acknowledged that he knew I wanted a spouse with a real relationship with Christ and began to demonstrate that he was a man after God’s own heart.
Always tend to the little things, they do matter. Remember, “He who has begun a good work in you is faithful to complete it until the day of Christ’s return” (Philippians 1:6), meaning, stay the course! Marriage can be tough, but with God your marriage won’t fail. Keep the word of God as the highest and final authority in all you do. So when problems arise (and they do), get a Scripture for you and your spouse to stand in faith together.
RRJ: You both had some participation with the Christian faith early in your lives, but how would you describe the difference between now and those early years? We started attending True Divine BC the year before we married and our faith, zeal for God’s word, and a closer relationship with Christ increased. We started to not 14
Charles and Essence Phenix are owners of Smoothie King, Montgomery. They have been married 15 years and have two children: Kaitlin (14) and Andrew (11). They are active members at True Divine Baptist Church.
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