HOW TO LIVE A
Strategic consultant for leading businesses, inspirational author, and motivator for top NFL and collegiate teams including L.S.U., Florida State and The Alabama Crimson Tide Put the same strategies to work in your life that have worked for multiple national championship teams! door prizes including Auburn & Alabama Sports Memorabilia, robert trent jones golf passes and more!
7:00pm in Frazer’s Wesley Hall • 6000 atlanta hwy Free event, no ticket required • www.frazer.church
Volume 18, Issue 9
Feature Articles
JAN UARY 2 0 1 7 Columns page 2
page 12
Publisher’s Note
Top Trends for Your 2017 Wedding
Our resident wedding expert and local wedding planner, Mary Sanders, shares what’s trending in 2017 to make your special day unforgettable.
Jason Watson
page 4
Pastor's Perspective Dr. Travis Coleman, Jr., First Baptist Church of Prattville
page 18
Pondering the Journey Sam Whatley
page 17
Newlyweds Ali & Will King
page 26
The Intersection Bob Crittenden
The happy couple shares about the months leading up to their wedding and how they prepared for a healthy marriage.
page 30
*Photo by Rob & Wynter Photography
Pastor Kemi Searcy
page 20
page 32
Women Arising
Counselor’s Corner
Faith @ Work
Marriage takes work as we all know, and this month you can read how LaBarron and Lori Boone work to make their marriage great.
Kay Cannady, LPC
page 36
Dave $ays
page 22
6 Deadly Enemies of Marriage by Tim Challies
These six important areas in marriage, if neglected, are likely to ensure that you and your spouse will not see “happily ever after.”
Dave Ramsey
In Every Issue page 6
Books to Read page 8
Around Our Community
page 28
Family Teams for Life
page 20
Faith @ Work
by Ashley Sherlock
Mike and Lisa Conn have a passion for equipping military leadership couples with biblical and proven marriage and family skills. Find out how you can support this important work right here in our community! 1
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Let the Redeemed Say So January 2017
River Region’s Journey
Our Mission... We believe the Good News concerning the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ is worth sharing with our friends and neighbors in the River Region. Each month we deliver this life-changing message to the centers of activity across our community in a user-friendly and relevant way to empower and equip all those seeking to grow closer to God. Join us in this mission by sharing a copy with your neighbor or by becoming an advertising partner starting next month.
Editor DeAnne Watson deanne@readjourneymagazine.com
Publisher
Jason Watson jason@readjourneymagazine.com
Associate Publisher Gena Hill
Research Editor Wendy McCollum
Contributing Writers Kay Cannady, LPC Tim Challies Dr. Travis Coleman, Jr. Bob Crittenden Dave Ramsey Mary Sanders Kemi Searcy Ashley Sherlock Sam Whatley
Advertising Opportunities Jason Watson Heather Watts ads@readjourneymagazine.com (334) 213-7940 ext 703
Ad Design
Tim Welch, Welch Designs
Distribution Team
From the Publisher It’s commonly said these days that “marriage is under attack”, but that’s not entirely true. Marriage, according to the state isn’t, but marriage according to the Scripture is. Yet, that shouldn’t come as a surprise because all of God’s plans are under attack and have been ever since original sin and the fall of man. I can also logically deduce that if I were the Evil One, attacking biblical marriage would give me some of the greatest return on the destruction I sought. It’s important for Christians to see the great value of biblical marriage because it’s a key factor in us being spurred on to love God as we should, and to create a home environment where the blessings of God can flow through us to our children and neighbors. Biblical marriage is worth fighting for! Each January, we dedicate River Region’s Journey to couples preparing to get married. Unlike other wedding guides, we not only offer the latest tip and trends for planning your wedding, but we also point couples down God’s path for marriage so they can experience the joy and blessing of a biblical marriage for a lifetime. Please take the time to share this issue with couples planning their wedding, but don’t stop there. All married couples will benefit greatly from reading the articles, interviews and our local ministry spotlight about biblical marriage. With biblical marriage under continuous attack, Christians have a great opportunity to display the beauty of a marriage done God’s way. The world is watching and they will take notice of the difference when they see two truly living as one. Serving each other. Being gracious and kind to each other. All in line with the way Christ loves His church. May we celebrate the goodness of God in His gift of biblical marriage!
Wendy McCollum Chris Mitchell, Manager Manzie Moore Richard Ward Lesa Youngblood
River Region’s Journey is published monthly by Keep Sharing, P.O. Box 230367, Montgomery, AL 36123. For information, call 334-213-7940. River Region’s Journey is copyrighted 2017 by KeepSharing. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or part without written permission is prohibited. The opinions expressed in River Region’s Journey are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the view of the owners, nor do they constitute an endorsement of products or services herein. River Region’s Journey has the right to refuse any content that is not consistent with its statement of faith.
River Region’s Journey
January 2017
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Please join us for
PARENTING THIS GENERATION Presented by David Thomas and Sissy Goff
FRIDAY, JANUARY 20 7:00 – 9:00 PM and SATURDAY, JANUARY 21 9:00 – NOON
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Topics include: Intentional Parenting Emotions & Young Children The Back Door to Your Teen's Heart How to Talk to Your Kids about Sex Taming the Tech Monster $20 per person
$35 per couple
Please join us at Christchurch, located at 8800 Vaughn Road. Call the church office at 334-387-0566 for tickets and reservations. 3
January 2017
River Region’s Journey
Pastor’s Perspective
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Dr. Travis Coleman, Jr., First Baptist Church of Prattville
6 Principles for a
Happy and Lasting Marriage Last month during our Children’s Choir Christmas program the first grade through the sixth grade choirs presented, “Arrest Ye Merry Gentlemen.” It was a Christmas musical that used all the events surrounding the birth of our Savior to convince skeptics in Bethlehem of Jesus’ arrival. It was cute and our children did a wonderful job with the drama and music. When I stood to close out the service, I drew attention to the children that played Mary and Joseph. I told them that Mrs. Coleman and I were Mary and Joseph in our Christmas program as teenagers and look, we got married. I kidded them that the same thing could happen to them in real life too. The little boy who played Joseph was emphatically shaking his head “no.” We all laughed. By the way, we were King and Queen at the Sweetheart Banquet as well. Those events seem a lifetime ago. We’ve now been married for 47 years. My wife, Arlinda, is the love of my life. Our relationship started out as friends in our youth group at church and at school. We didn’t date until college but we believe God prepared us as friends, each committed to the Lord and growing in our faith. Paul said in Galatians 4:4, “But when the set time had fully come, God sent his Son...” Time in this verse is “Kronos”, meaning chronology. Jesus came at a point River Region’s Journey
January 2017
in time (2,000 years ago). God brought Arlinda and me together at a point in time. We started dating and 16 months later we married. Now, a college degree, two seminary degrees, three children and their three marriages, six grandchildren and three churches later, we are happy and fulfilled in our marriage. We were blessed with some excellent pre-marital counseling as we prepared for marriage. Like all couples we have learned through trials and errors, from testimonies of others, from reading good books on marriage, and most importantly, reading God’s Word about how to maintain a healthy marriage and relationship. Some principles that have guided us are...
together or bonded together in a lifelong commitment. 4. Marriage is a process. In Genesis 2:24 God said, “...and they became one flesh.” Marriage is not a single act of intimacy but a lifetime process of blending two independent lives into one. This oneness is characterized by a faithfulness to each other. They will not allow another person, work, children, extended family and even complacency to come between them. 5. Marriage was thought highly by Jesus and Paul. In John 2:1-10 Jesus performed is first miracle at the wedding feast of Cana affirming the wedding celebration. In Ephesians 5:21-33 Paul clearly lays out the responsibilities of men and women in marriage.
2. Marriage is about a personal commitment. In Genesis 2:24 God said, “...a man shall leave his father and mother and is united to his wife...” A man and woman make a conscious decision to leave family and form a new family unit.
6. Marriage is about companionship. In Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 King Solomon writes about the strength of companionship by saying, “Two are better than one...” (v.9). Life was meant to be shared. The list could go on and on, but I offer these as a beginning place for those who are contemplating marriage, for the engaged couple, and even for the longtime married to do a check-up. I challenge you to be a lifelong student of marriage and your spouse. Good, satisfying and fulfilling marriages take hard work. Arlinda and I were blessed to have started well. Our goal is to stay well and end well. I pray you will work hard on your marriage. It will be worth the effort.
3. Marriage is to be permanent. In Genesis 2:24 God said, “...and is united to his wife...” A husband and wife are glued
Dr. Coleman has been pastor of First Baptist Church in Prattville since 1989. He is married to wife Arlinda, and they have three children and six grandchildren.
1. Marriage was created by God. In Genesis 2:18 God saw Adam and said, “It is not good for man to be alone.” So God Created Eve and gave her to Adam as a companion and helpmate. Marriage was God’s idea and he performed the first wedding ceremony in the Garden of Eden.
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Our Statement of Faith In keeping with Protestant theology, we believe that the Bible, as contained in the 66 books of the Old and New Testaments, is fully inspired by God and therefore inerrant in the original manuscripts. The Bible is the only essential and infallible record of God’s self-disclosure to mankind. The Scriptures are the authoritative and normative rule and guide of all Christian life, practice, and doctrine. They are totally sufficient and must not be added to, superseded, or changed by later tradition, extra-biblical revelation, or worldly wisdom. The Bible is perfect in every way and shows us how to become and live as Christians. The way of becoming a Christian is by faith alone in Jesus Christ, the only Son of God, who came to us, born of a virgin, in full human form while remaining fully God. Jesus was, and is, perfect, and was crucified so that others could live. Three days later He rose from the dead, never to die again. He ascended into heaven and sat down at the right hand of God the Father, where He, the only mediator between God and man, continually makes intercession for His own. Those who have faith in Jesus as their Lord in this life, and Savior from damnation in the next life, now live by the guidance of the Holy Spirit, becoming more like Jesus everyday. We believe that God is one God. The one God has three persons: the Father, Jesus the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Just as God is one, so also, all believers are to be one. We believe in the unity and fellowship of all those that have faith in Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. We are one in Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ is the Head of the Church, His Body, which is composed of all men, living and dead, who have been joined to Him through saving faith.
to *All editorial content published needs to be in agreement with our Statement of Faith
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January 2017
River Region’s Journey
The DiscipleMaking Parent by Chap Bettis
A core component of my regular reading diet is books on parenting. As long as I am a parent, and especially a parent of tweens and teens (parenting babies and toddlers is straightforward by comparison!), I want to stay sharp, to be challenged, to be equipped. A good book helps me better understand the purpose of parenting and helps me better fulfill my God-given duties. Chap Bettis’s The Disciple-Making Parent is a good book, exactly the kind that challenged me and, I trust, better equipped me as a dad. It offers what, to my knowledge, is a unique angle in a crowded genre: Its focus on discipleship as the heart of parenting. “The foundational parenting text is not Ephesians 6:1-4 or Deuteronomy 6:49, as important as they are. Rather it is Matthew 28:18-20.” This is a book about raising children to be disciples of Christ for “God’s desire for your family is to be a Trinity-displaying, God-glorifying, disciple-making unit.” As Bettis begins, he encourages the reader to “think of this material as a guidebook to help you on your parenting journey. A guidebook is written by someone who has been where you are going. While not feeling compelled to do everything the guidebook says, it is still helpful to learn from someone River Region’s Journey
January 2017
else’s experience as you forge your own path.” There’s another alternative: “You can think of this as a playbook. Every football team has a collection of plays, called a playbook. Any of these can be executed during the course of a game. The goal of the team is to win the game, not execute every play in the playbook.” The Disciple-Making Parent functions well as either of these two kinds of book. As a guidebook, its strength is more in curation than creation, as Bettis tends to collect and compile what others have written on the subject rather than bring a load of brand new material. As a playbook, its strength is in teaching and demonstrating how to apply these things in real-life situations. Here Bettis refers often to his own family or his own church, showing how biblical principles take shape in actual situations. The book’s 28 chapters fall into a number of sections: The Power of Example, The Power of the Gospel, The Power of the Heart, The Power of the Word, The Power of Purpose, The Power of Prayer, The Power of Apologetics, The Power of Friends, and The Power of Seeking God. It is a thorough look at parenting. In fact, if I had to offer a constructive critique, it would be that the book may be 60 or 80 pages longer than it needs to be. Then again, the subtitle is “A Comprehensive Guidebook for Raising Your Children to Love and Follow Jesus Christ” so the comprehensive nature of the book is within the author’s intent. What is certain is that the book is deeply biblical and absolutely loaded with wisdom. In Marty Machowski’s 6
little endorsement, he suggests “you will find yourself underlining line after line, page after page.” That was exactly my experience and there are many parts of the book I need to return to for reflection and application. I’ve got loads of notes to compile and consider. Bettis wants parents to know that “parenting is a commission to do all we can to raise our children to become fully devoted followers of Jesus Christ. The Disciple-Making Parent teaches why this is so important and it teaches how to actually go about so daunting a task. I am glad to recommend it as a resource that will prove helpful to any parent.
TOP QUOTES • As parents it’s easy to assume that if we give our children the right ingredients, keep out the wrong ingredients, and put them in the right environment for the right amount of time, we are guaranteed a certain result. Parenting doesn’t work that way. • We discipline our children not so that they will make us happy but so that they will serve Christ as adults. We educate them not so they can have a good job but to develop them to be the best follower of Jesus they can be. We work hard to prepare them not for graduation day but for the Judgment Day! • Children are God’s means to transform us. Their sin reveals our sin. Their questions reveal our ignorance. All of these are God’s prompts for us to grow. • Our goal is not “successful” parenting per se, but faithful parenting. • The finest art of communication is not learning how to express your thoughts. It is learning how to draw out the thoughts of another.
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MOLDING BOYS INTO MEN We believe in a classical understanding of what it means to be a man. A man should strive to blend three parts of life: Gentleman, Warrior, Saint. What the medievals meant by these terms was that a gentleman is an educated burdenbearer for society. A warrior is a defender of that which is true and right. A saint has the biblical mind and heart from which being a gentleman and warrior spring. At Eastwood Christian School our boys and girls are given a rigorous, classical education. They are well rounded in sports and the arts so as to produce a warrior spirit. They are saturated with a biblical worldview and are taught to think critically as a Christian. Finally, there is an environment of mentoring - the older serve the younger. Our board and staff have been assisting families in this biblical vision for 20 years.
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EA STWOOD C HR IS TIA N SC HOOL MONTGOMERY / ALABAMA 334.272.8195 WWW.EASTWOODSCHOOL.ORG 7
January 2017
River Region’s Journey
Family Movie Night for Community at Frazer UMC
New Women’s Bible Study Held at Saint James UMC Women of the Community, join us Tuesday’s at 9:30am or 6:30pm, January 10-March 14, for an exciting study called Breakthrough on Fasting & Angels. For more info: dianne@sjlife.com. Childcare available by reservation for 9:30am session: sharoh44@yahoo.com.
Family Movie Night featuring Disney’s “Meet the Robinsons” (rated G) will be fun for all ages! Enjoy this hilarious and heart-warming story about time-travel and a boy who needs a family. Tickets are free, and concessions will be for sale. A love offering will be taken to raise money for a local family’s adoption fees! At Frazer United Methodist Church in Montgomery on January 21 from 3-5. Reserve your free tickets online at www.eventbrite.com or get them at the door!
START YOUR YEAR OFF RIGHT Try the Y and let us help you achieve your health & wellness goals.
WORK OUT FREE JAN 2-13 AT THE PRATTVILLE YMCA Fitness Branch • Wellness Branch • Bradford Branch
prattvilleymca.org • (334) 361-0268 River Region’s Journey
January 2017
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PURSUE 2017 The Digital Age
An Evening with Chonda Pierce
Fri, Feb 17 – Sat, Feb 18, 2017 First Baptist Church, 305 S Perry Street PURSUE Conference 2017 is a statewide Alabama collegiate ministry event challenging each student to discover “My Place in His Purpose” and explore options and opportunities to leverage their life’s career and passion for Kingdom service. The conference will feature more than 30 missionary units and career professionals who seek to follow God’s purpose wherever He has called them to serve. Call 334-834-6310.
Mark Lowry Live! Saturday, February 25, at 7:00 pm Montgomery PAC at the Renaissance Call 334-481-5110 or visit www.mpaconline.org.
February 23, 2017 at 7:30 p.m. Saint James United Methodist Church 9045 Vaughn Rd • Montgomery, AL Tickets: $25 -$45 Mary Ellen’s Hearth at Nellie Burge Center will present an Evening with Christian comedian, Chonda Pierce. Proceeds from the event will go to support homeless women and children. For more information call (334) 264-4108 or visit www.nellieburge.org.
Email your community or ministry news to deanne@ readjourneymagazine.com!
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January 2017
River Region’s Journey
God of Order Discipleship:
Personal Discipleship:
The Blueprint for Bringing Peace to the Home Do you need order in your home? Do you long for your home to be a place of peace and rest? This 10-month discipleship ministry purposes to teach women God’s order for the home. Through bi-monthly smallgroup teachings and discussions, this discipleship training proves to set the heart of every woman on the home, making it a sanctuary where Father God can dwell. One learns how to get the home in spiritual and physical order according to the Word of God. The teachings follow Titus 2:4-6 and include such topics as ordering the home as a restful and secure dwelling place, restoring the family altar, loving your husband, submitting to your husband, speaking blessings, loving your children, being a discreet and pure women, practical home management, and making the home a place of hospitality. This ten-lesson discipleship teaching is available on DVD along with a written workbook. The God of Order Leader’s Package provides all the necessary resources to successfully lead a discipleship group in churches, in community groups, or around a coffee table. Contact His Vessel Ministries at info@hisvessel. org or 334.356.4478 for more information.
Prayer, Purity, Purpose Do you long for a more personal relationship with God? Do you long to walk along with another mature Christian as you develop a more intimate relationship with God? Through small-group teachings, the Personal discipleship will teach you how to have an effective prayer closet, how to purify the heart, and how to pursue your purpose in life. This is a six-week training. This discipleship class is a wonderful opportunity for small groups at your church. Contact His Vessel Ministries at info@hisvessel. org or 334.356.4478 for more information. His Vessel Ministries is located in Historic Union Station in downtown Montgomery where the Bible teachings and discipleship classes are conducted. Visit our websitewww.hisvessel.org or www.facebook/hisvesselministries.
0000067769-01
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Riverview Refinement, Program, Campfires night,Recognized optional trips and more! We’ve put together everythingCIT you’re looking for in a perfect every camp setting! as one of the Southeast’s best all-around summer camps for girls, Riverview is an oasis of fun, friends and happiness. Spring and Fall &available 2 week Sessions ages to 16... Mother-Daughter Weekends1are also! Registeredfor Nurses and6 Physician on Staff. Entire full-summer staff is First Aid and CPR Certified. Camper/Counselor Ratio 5:1 Spring and Fall Mother-Daughter Weekends...
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River Region’s Journey
January 2017
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January 2017
River Region’s Journey
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Weddings in 2017 are going back to a more classic, elegant overall feel. In the last few years we have seen a strong presence of rustic inspiration influencing brides and weddings alike. Moving into the New Year, you will really see weddings move away from that rustic look and embrace a more opulent, refined style. Let’s take a look at some of the most popular trends you are going to see in 2017.
statement pieces. Our favorite trend in colors is the dreamy palettes of greys and gold mixed in with metallic and glass textures.
3. Metallics All shades of metallic will be prevalent in 2017 weddings. Look to see copper, rose gold, and pewter as a base for design in weddings. They serve as a great neutral and pair so well with statement colors. Metallics really set the stage for a formal, opulent look as well, making them the perfect choice for brides this year. The key in using metallics is to use them sparingly.
4. The Signature Drink
1. Making a Grand Entrance
We have all seen signature drinks and cocktails for years, and they will still be making a statement in 2017. You have previously seen all types of colored signature drinks, his and her favorites. In 2017 drinks will see a shift from very sweet and colorful options to more old-time classics, including the Moscow Mule and a Mint Julep.
When a bride and groom make that grand entrance into the reception, you normally see them announced out on to the dance floor. Well this year, expect to see them enter with a bang! You will see elaborate florals, draping and lighting adorning entry ways. Other inspiration for elaborate entrances include rose petal, confetti or balloon drops, and flash mob dances with the entire wedding party. You may even see sparklers as the bride and groom enter a reception, instead of when they leave.
5. Drones Talk about taking photography to a whole new level! Welcome drones! You may have noticed in the last year photographers and videographers introducing drones into their repertoire. In the next year, you will really see drones taking a huge part in photography and video footage for weddings. The amazing perspectives you get from the aerial vantage point are hard to top! You may even see guests bring them along.
2. Color is Making a Comeback
One of the first things a bride thinks about is a color scheme for the big day. Many times a bride will choose an all white, neutral palette, but this year color is really going to grace the weddings. You may see neutral tones as a base, with pops of bright colors for River Region’s Journey
January 2017
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6. On Pointe Lounge Areas When designing a wedding look, furniture lounges are icing on the cake. In the past, furniture at weddings has helped to kick off a cocktail period, but this year look to see them more throughout an entire reception. Many wedding designers will use furniture to set up cozy seating vignettes all over. You will even see custom pillows and lighting as accents to these lounge areas.
7. The Bride’s Cake I have always said the wedding cake is an extension of the bride. It has to be beautiful and make a statement, like the bride and her dress. As weddings this year go back to classic and opulent like days of old, so tall, elaborate wedding cakes will now be in vogue. The taller the better for cakes this year!
8. First Looks We always ask brides, “Are you going to have a first look?” Well it is certainly going to continue to be a push in wedding photography this year! More and more we see brides and photographers moving away from the traditional thought of waiting until the bride walks down the aisle for the first look. When you have a first look before the wedding, the bride and groom really get the chance to have a moment together, calm the nerves and get amazing up close photos of the special moment.
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9. Wedding Dresses When it comes to the world of bridal fashion, off-the-shoulder wedding dresses will continue to set the tone, as well as deep plunging v-necks. And 2017 will bring many other style elements to wedding gowns, including all types of ruffles, feathers, and tiered skirts.
10. Pantone Color of the YearGreenery All shades of green! Pantone describes the color of the year as “greenery.” Look to see this show up in all aspects of weddings! Greenery garland, table linens, bouquets and bridesmaids dresses. Mary Sanders is owner of Mary Me Brides. She has been in business for 11 years and has served many brides across the River Region. Mary is wife to Adam of 13 years and mom to her three children: Ross (11), Mary Townsend (10), and Drew (6). 13
January 2017
River Region’s Journey
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In my line of work, I spend a great amount of time preparing brides for their upcoming wedding day. It is in fact, the main purpose of my job, to be sure everything is planned to perfection, to make sure each bride has everything she needs to be ready for her wedding day. Over the last year, the Lord really started speaking to me about that very thing… “preparing the bride”…and what that really means beyond a wedding day. What does it mean for us as believers to be the prepared Bride of Christ, ready for His return? What can we, Jesus’ Bride, do to be ready for that glorious day?
by Mary Sanders, Mary Me Brides River Region’s Journey
January 2017
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We have the opportunity to “light the way” for the people in our lives, to invite them along in the procession of a life with Christ, to show an example of what it looks like to live a life prepared and ready for the return of our King!
I encourage you to read Matthew 25:1-13, the Parable of the ten virgins. In this parable, the writer is describing the return of Jesus, our bridegroom. It gives a really good picture of what it looks like to be prepared and wise as opposed to unprepared and foolish. Before we really dive into what that means, let’s look for a minute at the setting of this passage. It is describing a scene in a 1st century Jewish wedding. The virgins in the story refer to bridesmaids. Being the wedding gal that I am, it really interested me to learn a little about the role these bridesmaids had and the wedding culture during this time. Wedding festivities back in Bible times lasted seven days. The “processions” of the bride and groom marked the beginning of the week long celebration. When the wedding day finally arrived the bridegroom would dress himself in festive garments, wearing a crown of gold, or silver, or flowers. He would proceed with his friend and other attendants from an unknown place at an unknown time to the bride’s father’s house. The virgins of Israel would be outside waiting along the way in the evening with
their oil lamps lit, until the loud warning cry, “Behold the Bridegroom Cometh, Go Ye Out to Meet Him,” and they would meet him and proceed with him to the entrance of the bride’s father’s house. The doors were shut and the feast began with great dancing and celebration lasting seven days at the bridegroom’s house. Wow! What a celebration indeed! Who wouldn’t love that kind of extravagant wedding? Seven days of over the top, beautiful wedding festivities? What is so interesting to me in reading this description is that the wedding party, the bridesmaids, had a very important role. They had to be on the lookout for the arrival of the groom, they knew it and had to be prepared for it. Just as they had the role of preparing the procession of the bride and the groom, and preparing the festivities, we have a role too! We have the opportunity to “light the way” for the people in our lives, to invite them along in
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the procession of a life with Christ, to show an example of what it looks like to live a life prepared and ready for the return of our King! Once we make it our goal to prepare with excellence in all areas of our life, and serve the Lord with the upmost heart, we are able to demonstrate the presence of the Lord in greater ways. The glory of the Lord shines in and through us through the power of the Holy Spirit! Our hearts are pure and we can be open to allowing the Holy Spirit to take over. We can host Almighty God! What an honor and opportunity! But this comes at a cost. Again like in planning a wedding you have to plan out the budget of the wedding and expenses. You have to evaluate what is important and what is not. You have to in a way “count the cost” by evaluating your wedding expenses. You spend your money on things that are important to you. Think of the things you did as a bride… This is much like our lives, as we host the presence of the Lord and we begin to allow him to take over every area of our lives. There will be costs… we have to “count those costs”. We need wisdom like the five wise virgins had. We have to be willing for the Lord
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to highlight the areas that are blocking more of His presence in our lives. What are those areas? I had to ask the Lord what they were in my own life? The Lord gave me three areas that have personally affected me in the past, and have at times “blocked me” from hosting the presence of Almighty God. There are plenty of others, so take some time and ask the Lord to reveal to you personally the specific areas that you need to count the costs.
TIME Number one for me is TIME! Making the time DAILY for the Lord. If we want to be prepared and able to host His presence we have to make time for Him! This is the hardest thing for me sometimes. I am a wife; mom of three children with schedules going in three different directions; and I have my own business and lots of brides to answer to! Like many of you I’m sure, I come barreling in on two wheels most of the time. Choosing daily to make the time with Jesus is something I have to do. I have to count the cost. For me, when I start my day off right by spending that time with the Lord, it gives me the right perspective to handle the tasks of each day. If I want to be the best I can be in all those areas, I must be filled up daily!
FRIENDS
How about our friends? Do we have friendships that keep us from walking closer with the Lord? We are women, and women need girlfriends… can I get an Amen? But let’s be wise with the friends we choose to walk alongside and invite into our lives. Do you have those friends who are encouraging you in the Lord, like iron sharpening iron, or friends that tear you down and have a negative influence on your life? This is an area where the Lord really had to help me. I have had to evaluate some friendships that weren’t really healthy, some that were not encouraging me in the Lord, and ones that had me stuck in comparison and insecurity.
FEAR
Lastly is fear. This is a hard one. Do you ever think, I like my little life, all is good, we are just rocking along. It’s easy to sit in our little comfort zone and be content. This can be a huge block! Sometimes we limit the Lord out of fear and complacency: “Oh Lord, someone else can do that better than me,” or how about: “Lord, I’m so busy, I’m just so worn out. I can’t go do that for you.” The areas in which we have fear can be the very areas the Lord wants to pull us into! Trust me… He has had me in a season of
facing my fears. He wants to push us out of fear for His glory! You never how He wants to use you until you are willing to step out. These are areas that we need to resist the enemy in; areas that are keeping us blocked from hosting His presence. Take heart, the Lord promises that He will draw near to us when we draw near to Him. We are waiting for His second coming. As we prepare with excellence for His return, as we host the presence of the Almighty, and as we long to see Jesus, may we wait patiently. Just like in the parable of the ten virgins, the delayed bridegroom was not uncommon, many times there were last minute negotiations between the bride and groom’s relatives over the terms of the marriage. Will you come join in the procession? The Lord has planned the wedding banquet of all wedding banquets… one that He has been planning for years! It will be the most glorious, most beautiful celebration you will ever see! He is planning for you. Prepare yourself, live a life of excellence, host His presence and long for your King! When the Bridegroom comes, we will all say, just like the maids from back then, “Come, He is here, let us go meet Him!” Mary Sanders is owner of Mary Me Brides. She has been in business for 11 years and has served many brides across the River Region. Mary is wife to Adam of 13 years and mom to her three children: Ross (11), Mary Townsend (10), and Drew (6).
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vice versa. We take our commitment to marriage seriously because we both want the love of Christ to be seen in us as a couple. Having the Lord as our foundation helps us tremendously in every aspect of our marriage. We both promised in our vows to help each other get to heaven. This means each and every day we choose to show and remind the other about the love of Christ. The Lord has blessed us beyond measure, and the best we can do is glorify Him in our marriage and in our everyday life.
Newlyweds
Ali & Will King Sharing Advice for Before and After Your Wedding Day
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RRJ: When were you two married? What are your fondest memories of your wedding and the days leading up to it? Ali: We were married on November 19, 2016. Our fondest memories of the wedding, and especially the days leading up to the wedding, were when we could take a step back and realize the commitment we were about to make together. It was easy to get caught up in all the details and craziness that weddings bring, but we tried our best to make sure we set aside time to enjoy quality time together. RRJ: Many couples spend the majority of their engagement months planning for the “wedding” with little planning for the actual “marriage”. How did the two of you prepare for marriage so that it could start off on the right foot and grow even richer with time? Ali: We both have similar outlooks on marriage. We both agree that marriage is a lifetime commitment. We have always made sure that we are communicating with the other. We discussed each other’s fears and goals in marriage. The both of us would rather discuss something even if it’s tough at first because we both value our relationship that much. The last thing we wanted after the wedding was a “well, now what?” kind of feeling. It’s crazy that sometimes couples (us included) forget that after the wedding day you are working on a marriage. We spent so much time talking about flowers, suits, invitations, guest
lists, and so on, that it was easy to forget the bigger picture. But we tried our best to have conversations and study God’s word on how to build our marriage. RRJ: As you seek to honor Christ above all else, how would you say that focus helps you have a thriving marriage and a right attitude toward your new spouse? Ali: When you know without a doubt that the person you are married to holds the same beliefs and goals as you, it is a lot easier to work through both the good and the bad. At our very core we know that we are to be examples of Christ and represent the love He shows to not only the church, but to the world by dying on the cross as a sacrifice for us. In the shadow of this great example and gift, it helps us put into perspective the unconditional love and understanding a husband should show towards his wife and 17
RRJ: What advice would you give engaged or newly married couples to help them prepare for marriage and to help them grow in oneness after their big day? Ali: Our biggest take away from being engaged, now newly married, is that it is really easy to get lost in the routines and plans. Before you are married, all you can think about are plans for one day. Once that day has passed, you then go back to old routines and everyday life, and it is easy to forget that getting married is not the goal but only the beginning. We tried our very best to unplug from “wedding talk” because we knew that in the end we were going to be married, and it didn’t really matter whether we used saucers at the reception or not. The best advice we could give is to enjoy this season of life, pray for one another, and have fun. Because getting to spend every day with your best friend is priceless. William and Ali King live in Montgomery. Ali is a Science Lab teacher at Saint James School and Will is a Front End Web Developer and Design Mentor for a tech education company based out of New York. The couple attends Perry Hill Road Church of Christ. Photos by Rob & Wynter Photography (www.robandwynter.com)
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Transforming Throwaways I recently saw an exhibit called “Transformart” at the Montgomery Museum of Fine Arts. The exhibit is expansive. As you enter the three-room panorama of tropical animals and plants you hear the sounds of a waterfall and birds chattering. The centerpiece is a twenty-five-foot tree made from clothes. As you look around, you see that everything is created from items that most of us discard. There is a life-like sheep of computer cables and a giant bird of shoe laces. The neck and head of a giraffe made of broken pencils protrudes from the wall above you. Perhaps the most startling creatures of all are the animals created from hundreds of empty ammunition shells.
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The fox is a mixture of shotgun shells. The rabbits, bear and jaguar are formed from bullets. The creator of these works is Frederico Uribe, an American originally from Columbia. He grew up in a country at war. He is transforming not only everyday items, but symbols of violence, into articles of beauty and life. Thus, the term “Transformart”. That is what struck me. He saw in these common materials the potential to express the order, mystery, and symmetry of nature. He recreated thousands of worthless parts into this artistic vision of a peaceful, natural world. And that made me think about my life and the lives of those I know. How easy it is for our tragedies and mistakes in life to become regrettable memories we choose to throw away. We wish they had never happened. Now that we have lived passed them, we just want to forget them, and move on. But we can’t really forget them. They happened. Our throwaway experiences run the spectrum from minor hurts to major catastrophes. For some, it is a failure at school. Friendships that once were, but are no longer, can haunt us for years. Some remember businesses that failed, or their church that finally closed its doors. Some people are trying to get over a broken heart, or even worse, a broken home. Some are grieving the cost of addiction or 18
the memory of a loved one they never expected to outlive. Then there are the actual wounds of war and the trauma of physical abuse. Some of our hurts and failures are accidents, no one’s fault. But many are the results of someone’s intentional disobedience to God. At times, we are victims of someone else’s sin. And sometimes they are the victims of ours. All of us knew better. We knew there would be consequences, but we had to do things our way. And now the bill is due and we wish we could forget it. We cannot see any good that can come from remembering. We want to throw it all in the trash and walk away. But that is where God’s transformation, or re-creation, can make all the difference. That trash does not have to be trash forever. It can be redeemed by the Redeemer. The Apostle Paul says in his second letter to the Corinthians: Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! (II Corinthians 5:17, NIV). God does not put the toothpaste back in the tube. But he can find a use for that toothpaste in the future. He can use all things to His glory and to our good, if we will let Him. Paul writes to the Ephesians: Put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its… desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and … put on your new self, created to be like God (Ephesians 4:22-23, NIV). When you share your life with Christ, you share it with others, as well. Sometimes the things you share are your scars and failures. God redeems your trash by making it a way for you to connect with other hurting souls. They need transformation too. As Paul wrote to the Romans, Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind (Romans 12:2, NIV). Give God what hurts you and watch Him transform it into something beautiful for His Kingdom.
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that cornerstone set you on the right path together? LaBarron: I am an engineer so I analyze everything from a scientific and mathematical perspective. Humans are selfish and marriages are bound to fail because we selfishly want what we want. From that perspective, I knew if I didn’t approach marriage as a commitment to God it would be difficult. Statistics show most marriages in America fail. I had no desire to fail at marriage. I concluded that the only way I would get married is if I found someone who demanded a God-centered marriage. I found that person in a young law student named Lori David. Lori: Pursuing God first places everything else in proper perspective. I don’t believe we would still be married if we were not individually committed to Christ first. We made a decision to commit our marriage to God and to allow his Word to be our guide on that journey. It’s made all the difference when we’ve gone through bad times. RRJ: Have you both been Christ-followers since a young age? Lori: We both attended church from the time we were babies. We were both baptized as teenagers. However going to church is much different than living a Christfilled life. That transformation happened while in law school for LaBarron. When adversity hit, his faith was tested and God clearly revealed Himself to him. LaBarron said it was as if he was having a conversation with God when God clearly said you cannot expect my blessing unless you live a life worthy of my mercy and grace. At that time LaBarron’s journey began anew and He strove to Honor the Lord. My journey began after law school when I had reached all of my goals and still felt something was missing from my life. I began reading the Bible and experienced my life being transformed when the words came to life for the first time. RRJ: So very early in your relationship together you two made a choice to pursue Christ above all else. How did starting with River Region’s Journey
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RRJ: You both practiced law in the beginning and now, Lori, you manage the household and LaBarron is a Principal with Beasley Allen. It sounds like your plates have always been full. What challenges does that bring into your marriage and how does your faith guide you towards practical solutions? Busy careers didn’t cause a problem, but simply presented a challenge. We ultimately had to decide how we wanted our family life to play out. We went to God and openly discussed how we wanted it all to play out. Those decisions were made with prayer and in cooperation with one another. Since we made the choices together there’s a whole lot less to complain about when things don’t go as we would like. RRJ: In our earlier conversation, you touched on your parents and their influence in your lives. How intentional are you about allowing your children to see into your marriage and to learn from you two? Our mothers inspired us to make the world a little better than the way we found it. We try
to live lives we want our children to emulate. What does that mean? It means telling them when they are off track and living a life that backs up what you are saying. It means serving others with our children so they know that life is bigger than our own personal experiences. Sometimes it means asking for forgiveness when we mess up as parents. We don’t always reach our mark, so we hope that they learn that we are just as imperfect as they are. We hope that in seeing our need for forgiveness and grace they will see their own need to seek God’s forgiveness, grace and mercy. RRJ: As you’ve been describing, having a God-purposed marriage doesn’t just happen. What are key resources you rely on to continue honoring Christ? We rely on the Bible, other couples who have been where we are, and Christian books. The Bible is the first and best resource. We also learn through the experiences of other more mature couples. We routinely rely on books written by authors who we believe can provide insight on how to live a godly Christian life and marriage. Two of our favorite authors are Tony Evans and John Maxwell. RRJ: Finally, since this is our Wedding and Marriage issue, many couples just starting out will be reading this interview. What’s one piece of advice you two would want to give them?
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Do not get married to anyone who is not committed to God. We are all weak and fallible. If you depend on someone else to make you complete they will ultimately let you down. You must live to the standard set by God because even the person you view as most close to perfect will let you down at times. If you place your hopes in anyone other than the Lord you will become disappointed and realize there’s no white knight in shining armor. Allow the Lord to guide your life and He will lead you to the marriage He intends for you. LaBarron and Lori Boone have been married for 16 years and have two children. The family attends Christ Community Church in Montgomery.
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Marriage is under attack. Marriage has always been under attack. The world, the flesh and the devil are all adamantly opposed to marriage, and especially to marriages that are distinctly Christian. Marriage, after all, is given by God to strengthen his people and to glorify himself; little wonder, then, that it is constantly a great battleground. I have been thinking recently about some of the foremost foes of Christian marriage and, really, the foremost foes I see creeping up to assault my own marriage. Here are 6 deadly enemies of marriage, and Christian marriage in particular.
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NEGLECT OF FOUNDATION Marriage is from God, about God, to God, and for God, so we neglect God at our peril. The enemy of marriage that deserves to be at the very top of the list is this one: neglecting the foundation—neglecting the biblical foundation. The Bible makes it clear that marriage is an institution decreed by God and an institution meant to glorify God by displaying something about him. The great mystery of marriage is that the covenantal relationship of husband and wife is a portrait of the covenantal relationship of Christ and his church. Marriage is from God, about God, to God, and for God, so we neglect God at our peril. It is only when the biblical foundation is in place that we are able to rightly understand how a husband and wife are to relate, how they are to take up their separate roles, and how they are to seek to bring glory to God both individually and as a couple. To build marriage on any other foundation is to neglect the rock in favor of building upon the sand.
NEGLECT OF PRAYER Private prayer is essential to the Christian life, and prayer as a couple is essential to the Christian marriage. Prayer is our lifeline, the means through which we praise God, express our gratitude, confess our sin, and plead for help. The couple that prays together is confessing before God that they are dependent upon him, that they are unable to thrive without him. Private prayer is essential to the Christian life, and prayer as a couple is essential to the Christian marriage. Here, kneeling at the bedside or sitting by the fire, the husband and the wife meet with the Lord together, praising him for his goodness and grace, confessing their sin against him and against one another, and pleading for his wisdom and help. When prayer ceases, the couple is tacitly proclaiming that they can survive and thrive on their own, that they do not need God’s ongoing, moment-by-moment assistance. Prayerlessness is a great foe of marriage.
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NEGLECT OF FELLOWSHIP Another great enemy of marriage is a lack of fellowship—local church fellowship. Satan loves it when he can compel an individual to withdraw from the church; how much better when he can draw away a couple or a whole family. When a married couple leaves the church, or even pulls back to just doing the bare minimum, they are leaving the place where they are meant to see healthy marriage modeled, where they are able to worship together side-byside, where they will find friends before whom they can open up their marriage so 23
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others can see and diagnose their struggles. Marriage thrives in the context of the local church and withers outside it.
NEGLECT OF COMMUNICATION Just as Satan wants a couple to stop communicating with God through prayer, he also wants that couple to stop communicating with one another. Free, open and regular communication is key to any relationship, none more so than marriage. When a couple is able and willing to communicate, they are able to admit and work through the difficulties, they are able to share both the joys and the sorrows that are inevitable in a life lived together. Too many couples stop communicating, or perhaps they never learn. Instead of working through issues, they allow them to remain, to fester, and to become toxic. Communication is key to a healthy marriage, and lack of communication is a perilous foe.
NEGLECT OF SHARED INTERESTS When a couple is dating it is rare for them to find they have nothing in common, that they have few shared interests. But as time goes on, as they become husband and wife and settle into normal life, they can so easily fall into their separate routines. Now they live alone together, two people carrying on their separate lives under the same roof. Shared interests motivate shared time, shared conversation, shared passion. It can be a hobby, it can be an activity, it can even be a television show, but it ought to be something. The neglect of shared interests is a great enemy to a healthy marriage.
NEGLECT OF SEX God was good to provide that strange and mysterious gift of sex in order to bind a husband and wife together in a unique way. Sex is the superglue of a healthy marriage, and yet most couples are never far from neglecting it or from replacing it with pornography or something, anything else. The Bible demands that a husband and wife maintain the sexual relationship in all but the narrowest of circumstances—with mutual agreement, for a short time, in order to concentrate on prayer. There are inevitable times when nothing seems more difficult than pursuing the sexual relationship and nothing seems easier than neglecting it, but to neglect sex is to directly disobey God. To neglect sex is to disregard one of God’s great and indispensable gifts. If Satan cannot destroy a marriage, he will at least determine to weaken it. To neglect any of these 6 things is to invite his presence and to welcome his influence. Tim Challies is a blogger and book reviewer. River Region’s Journey
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Resting in a Perpetually Busy World We have rolled over into a new year, on the heels of what is traditionally a busy season. We may search for pockets of rest that can help rejuvenate our souls and our bodies when weariness sets in. Actually, it’s really not just a seasonal thing...Jesus tells us to come to Him for rest, but the demands and distractions of everyday life can keep us from enjoying that experience. I came across a piece on the Boston Globe website about a conference that was held at the Old South Church there. Interestingly enough, a crowd described as dozens gathered at this “interfaith” event. To me, that implies that it was a small crowd; perhaps many were just too busy to come. It was sponsored by what is called the Lord’s Day Alliance. The article says the organization was “founded by six major Protestant denominations in 1888,” and it “spent a century fighting to force industrialists to give workers time to attend religious services and, later, to protect the Blue Laws. But little by little, drinking, sporting, and shopping became permissible on Sundays; in the last 20 or so years, the group has shifted to advocating for an internal recognition of the Sabbath.” The group’s executive director, Rev. Rodney L. Petersen, is quoted as saying, “The point is, where can a stressed-out society find regeneration and renewal?” Rev. Demetrios Tonias, dean of the Annunciation Greek Orthodox Cathedral of New England, was interviewed for the article. He related, “Over the last few decades, we have slowly and steadily lost our concept of sacred time,” adding, “The temporal creeps in and cuts us off from the eternal.” The story points out that, “The ancient Greeks had two words for time: chronos, or measurable, sequential time, and kairos, a River Region’s Journey
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more abstract period of time in which something significant happens.” The article points out that... ...digital responsibilities — be they related to school, work, household, or social obligations — seem to seep into every crevice of waking life. “That is the biggest dilemma,” said Nancy T. Ammerman, a Boston University professor
structures that once forced even the nonreligious to take time to relax and enjoy life, and experimenting with ways to embrace something like the Sabbath to help authorize a day away from workaday concerns.” The good news is that rest is still available for the believer, and we should take time to pursue it. In Hebrews 4:9-11, we can read: “There remains therefore a rest for the people of God. For he who has entered His rest has himself also ceased from his works as God did from His. Let us therefore be diligent to enter that rest, lest anyone fall according to the same example of disobedience.” Verse 12 then instructs us to appropriate the “living and powerful” Word of God. In verse 16, we are invited to “come boldly before the “throne of grace.” There are several concepts relative to enjoying God’s rest in the upcoming year: • We recognize that Jesus is the source of our rest. In Him, in His presence, before His Holy Word, we can lay down our burdens and we can find peace for our souls, the peace we seek, that passes all understanding.
of the sociology of religion. “Once we say to people, you know, it would be a really good thing to have some sacred time, you choose when it is . . . . It’s the kind of thing that sounds perfect, it’s so American, design your own Sabbath. But that kind of discipline and observance is extremely difficult, done individually, or even just as a family.” The piece refers to the so-called “blue laws,” when stores were closed and very little activity took place on Sunday. We still see remnants of those in our culture today - malls opening later, some stores closed altogether, and for the Christian church, Sunday is still the primary day of worship. But, the greater concept of rest for our souls is something that the Boston Globe article is exploring, stating: “...some people are looking longingly at the religious 26
• We can make it an aim to seek out that rest. It does sound odd that we are actually pursuing inactivity. But, the human condition these days seems to be so wrapped up in perpetual motion. God is calling us to, as Psalm 46 says, “be still and know” that He is God. • This is a worthy priority for us, and we can be challenged to set a time for rest. We may have to schedule a time to spend with our Lord and to enjoy His presence and to enter into that rest. We have to be careful we do not allow this important component of our spiritual life to be crowded out by the pervasive activity in which we engage. Bob Crittenden is host of “The Meeting House”, heard weekday afternoons from 4-6pm on Faith Radio, 89.1FM in Montgomery. Described as “the intersection of faith and culture”, the program features Christian music and conversation about a variety of topics. Learn more by visiting www. meetinghouseonline.info.
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The need for strong marriages and families will never go away. The legacy left by service men and women will affect their children and future generations for years to come. Lisa and Mike Conn, founders of Family Teams for Life, have been called to offer timeless instruction to those serving the United States to create and maintain strong families--for life. Family Teams for Life is a nonprofit organization that primarily focuses on equipping military leadership couples with biblical and proven marriage and family skills. Using workshops, seminars, case studies and movies, this ministry provides couples with what they need to overcome the challenges that come with trying to remain a family while serving in the military. In 1997, Mike retired as a Lieutenant Colonel after 20 years of service in the United States Air Force. The same year, he and Lisa formed Family Teams for Life, formerly Covenant Family Ministries, and became full-time local missionaries. They are supported by churches, Sunday school classes, businesses and individuals. Mike and Lisa both come from divorced families. When they married, they were determined to maintain a strong and
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healthy relationship. Like the couples they council, Mike and Lisa have experienced rough patches in their marriage. After a couple’s Sunday school class, their marriage was turned around, and they knew they were being called to teach couples and train them in what the Bible says about marriage and family relationships. They began sharing tools that could have saved their own parents’ relationships, and would prevent other couples and children from experiencing divorce.
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The goal of Family Teams for Life is for the military leadership couples that have been trained to serve as positive role models while they are on assignment. It is Mike and Lisa’s hope that by the example set by the couples they’ve trained, other military families will become more resilient and able to overcome the unique challenges and hardships of military life. The workshops that Mike and Lisa conduct focus on topics like facing and overcoming challenges, having a positive attitude, the five love languages, personality types, family team development, and character-centered parenting. These workshops are presented by Mike and Lisa in support of the Maxwell Air Force Base chapel’s Family Teams for Life program. Other workshops are conducted for spouses from senior officer schools like Air Command & Staff College, School of Advanced Air & Space Studies, and Air War College. At the beginning of each five-week class, Family Teams for Life sponsors an outing that is made to bring spouses together for conversation, building friendships and establishing a support system. What makes all of this worth it, in the words of Lisa, is, “Seven times a year, we
have couples (who are here for only five weeks and stay in hotels, often with one car and several young children) say that they never dreamed they would have the opportunity to strengthen their marriage and family and experience Southern hospitality at its finest while at this assignment.” Mike says that the war fighting ability of our service men and women is directly affected by the strength of their families. Family Teams for Life is there to relieve the concern about relationships with spouses and well-being of children so that service men and women can give their 100 percent to their mission. Through this ministry, Mike and Lisa have been able to see God’s promises come true in the divorces of their parents. Family Teams for Life would not have come into existence were it not for them. God used their difficult circumstances for the good of those who love Him and have been called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28.) Currently, 90 percent of the Family Teams for Life training is devoted to officers and their spouses attending one of Air University’s officer training schools. In 2017, however, Mike and Lisa want to begin offering the same training to Non-
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Commissioned Officers and other enlisted couples stationed at Maxwell and Gunter. Ultimately, Mike and Lisa would like to establish a permanent Center for Military Marriage and Family Leadership Training so that the work continues even after their retirement.
Family Teams for Life’s number one need is financial support. The ministry is an independent, educational nonprofit, not associated with a specific church or denomination. Since they are not on staff at any church, they solely depend on God to provide funds through donations. In 2017, Family Teams for Life will need to raise $75,000 to provide dinners, workshops, and support for its four-person staff. If you would like to partner with Family Teams for Life, visit www.cfmforhim. com, or mail tax deductible donations to: Family Teams for Life P.O. Box 242283 Montgomery, AL 36124 A Florida native, Ashley Sherlock made the transition to Alabama to pursue a degree in English. She has a passion for the written word, an affinity for the outdoors, a love for people, and a desire for the Lord.
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Grace to Finish Well There is one thing I absolutely love, and that is a clean house. I came to that realization a few years back, after I had returned from a ministry trip to find my house in shambles. My children had entertained their friends with some sort of party in my absence. After I couldn’t get them to admit to the reason for the mess, I immediately got into my “cleaning mode.” After hours of cleaning and rearranging to my satisfaction, I sat on my reclining chair with a glass of water and a sense of a “Yeah! I got it done” feeling swept over my soul. This was the first time I had admitted to what my children had always jokingly accused me of, saying that while people will be worshiping in heaven, I will be cleaning. Desire accomplished is sweet to the soul, says the psalmist. I agree, don’t you? As small as my cleaning project was, I felt so much joy when I was able to get it done. How much happier will I be when I get to the end of my journey to hear that baritone voice of my Savior saying, “Well done, thou faithful servant; you ran well, you finished strong; enter into the joy prepared for you.” God likens our life on earth to a race, and admonishes us to run with single-hearted devotion to purpose. “Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.” (Hebrews12:1) River Region’s Journey
January 2017
You may not know it yet, but there is a purpose to your existence; there is a cause chartered for you. You are not here by accident. God had planned your destiny before your life began. In short, He has a specific task He wants you to get done before you see His face in heaven. If you don’t know your destiny, I suggest you ask God quickly, because you cannot finish if you do not know your responsibility. To those of us who have already embraced our assignments, we need the grace of God so as not to be negligent in discharging those duties. So many well-intentioned resolutions are going to be formed and penned this New Year. Yet, I wonder how many of those resolutions are going to be followed through, how many prayers are going to be abandoned, and how many visions are going to be ignored by the end of the year? How many devils are going to get blamed for our lack of enthusiasm and negligence?
Run with the Price in View Jesus won his race keeping in focus the great price He was to win at the end of his cause. When he was tempted to give up, slow down, and quit, Jesus remembered what He was to gain if He persisted. He found that there was no comparison between the two; therefore He stuck with the plan. Now He has become the First Born of many generations, the Lord of Lords, and the King of Kings, ruling at the right hand of God the 30
Father. Who would give all that up to accept a failing kingdom from the devil, or a piece of stone turned into bread, knowing the joy of the crown ahead?
Run with Endurance
The Webster dictionary defines “endurance” as “the ability to do something difficult for a long time, the ability to deal with pain or suffering that continues for a long time.” If I have my way, I would love to remove the phrase “long time” from the end of the definitions, but that is where most of our problems come into play. As women, we don’t mind some level of suffering, but not for a long period of time. We’ve coined a phrase: “there is a limit to human endurance.” But this can’t be a mantra of those who desire to finish well. We must learn patience and endurance.
Shake Off All Hinderance You cannot run faster or longer if you are laden with heavy burdens. Take counsel from the Wise Counselor (the Holy Spirit), and cast off all weights and every sinful lifestyle.
Zeal to Win Nothing can be won without a desire to win; winning takes discipline, time, and hard work. The difference between those who meet all of their resolutions and those who don’t is their zeal or the lack there of. A zealous person will go the extra mile, scale every hill, and cross every valley in order to win.
Grace to Win Realize that God wants you in the winning position throughout the race of life. He is committed to your victory. Dear Sister, ask Him for your specific grace and strategy to finish well and He will give it to you!
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Addiction Lies Addiction lies. It tells you it will bring comfort while causing unbearable pain. It promises happiness yet sadness follows. Yes, for a moment you may be blissfully unaware of the problems in your life, yet once this feeling leaves, you’re left in a darker despair. While you used drugs to forget your problems, you invariably “came to” and discovered you had only increased your difficulties. Think about it. Did you drink to forget the stress on your job, only to wake the next day and realize you failed to meet a deadline, adding additional stress? This is how addiction lies. Listen for the deceit and become a truth seeker. Honesty is the first step in recovery! The textbook definition of addiction is a primary, chronic and relapsing brain disease characterized by pathologically pursuing reward or relief by substance use and other behaviors. Addictive behaviors are as damaging as substance dependency. Many use gambling, sex, food or even shopping to the point of financial ruin to feel better about themselves. These are all addictive practices which are not healthy. So if looking for relief but finding only more unhappiness in a substance or compulsive behavior, you may be addicted. If you are using substances to reduce emotional stress, you probably have a problem. If there is River Region’s Journey
January 2017
alcoholism in your family, you are predisposed to have the illness. If you cannot remember what you said or did last night, face it, you have a problem. This is not normal drinking! Definitely if you drove drunk and got a DUI, your drinking is dangerously not normal. Opiate overdose deaths are at an all-time high. According to the National Survey on Drug Use and Health, prescription drug overdose was the leading cause of accidental death in the US, with 47,055 lethal drug overdoses in 2014. Opioid addiction is driving this epidemic, with 18,893 overdose deaths related to prescription pain relievers. The overdose death rate in 2008 was nearly four times the 1999 rate. There is an epidemic with prescription pain medicines destroying lives. Sadly there are children and spouses suffering in this disease with you. Their illness is codependency as they serve as rescuer or enabler of the addict. You are not only hurting yourself. Look closely at the expression on your child the next time you wake up from an episode of using substances to mood alter. Hopefully you can see the truth in their innocence. Now here is the good news. You do not have to continue living with this hindrance. Addiction is an illness that is 100% beatable if you’d only stop. It’s just that easy! Well not so fast. It is probably the hardest thing you will ever do as your brain is wired to actually believe the lies you’ve been telling your32
self. Your brain believes it needs the very substances that are actually killing you! So that is why this is not easy. You will need help. You will need to retrain your brain. This is an important first step in recovery. You will need to be at a place where you do not want what you have now and are willing to try a different way of life. Yes, a wonderful, clean and sober way of life! It is here for you if you are wanting a change. Yet do not delay. So the next time you “come to” after an evening of believing the lie, if you are one of the fortunate ones that woke up and did not end up in the morgue, look for the reality of what drugs are doing to you and your family. Pick up the pieces now before your family is left to deal with the remains of a life broken in addiction. It begins with a prayer, a phone call and then living one day at a time the way God wants you to live, clean and sober. It’s time to begin a new year with new dreams and hopes. Again… pray, call, live and stop the lie of addiction. Your healthy tomorrows can begin now. Call the Samaritan Counseling Center at 334-262-7787 today to find recovery. You cannot do this alone. Kay Cannady is a Licensed Professional Counselor with more than 32 years working with adults and adolescents with chemical dependency and mood disorders. She graduated from the University of Alabama in Tuscaloosa with a B.A. in Broadcast Communications in 1977 and earned a M.S. in Counseling and Human Development from Troy University-Montgomery in 1988. At The Samaritan Counseling Center, Inc. she focuses on clients whose lives have been affected with substance use or the problem behaviors, consequences and moods associated with addiction.
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2600 Bell Road Montgomery, Alabama 334.277.6690
460 McQueen Smith Road Prattville, Alabama 334.358.6411
Dr. John H. Payne IV • Dr. David Stanley • Dr. Davis Denney • Dr. Rob Owen 33
January 2017
River Region’s Journey
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Adoption
Location: Frazer Memorial UMC, 6000 Atlanta Hwy and First UMC, Millbrook APAC- Alabama Pre/Post Adoption Connection Support Group This group provides education and social interaction for adoptive families. Montgomery Group meets 3rd Thursdays, 6-7:30 p.m., Room 8114 at Frazer. For information, call Monica Russell at 409-9477 or email mrussell@childrensaid.org. Autauga/Elmore Group meets 4th Tuesdays, 6-7:30 p.m., First UMC, Millbrook. Childcare, children’s group and dinner provided. For info, call Hannah Taylor at 409-9477 or e-mail htaylor@ childrensaid.org. Location: Landmark Church, 1800 Halcyon Blvd. Leaders: Chad & Betsy Emerson (334) 201-5241 Wednesday, 6:30pm in Rm. 116. The Orphan Care Group will focus on God’s call to help orphans through adoption, foster care, and missions work. The group will share experiences, study and Biblical themes regarding orphan care, and provide a support and network.
Alcoholic / Addict
Location: Caring Center of FBC, 52 Adams Avenue CrossRoads Support Group is for addicts/alcoholics and family members. Meets at 6 p.m. Tuesdays and follows a Christ-centered 12-step program. Call 264-4949. Location: Dalraida UMC, 3817 Atlanta Highway Alcoholics Anonymous meets at 6 p.m. on Tuesdays. 272.2190. Alanon meets at 7:30 p.m. on Wednesdays. Location: First Baptist Church (Huff Community Ministries Bldg., 200 S. Perry Street) Celebrate Recovery, a Bible-based Christ centered approach to recovery from hurts, habits and hang-ups, meets Friday nights, from 5:30 p.m.- 8 p.m. For more information, contact Jane Ferguson at 241.5141. Location: Grace @ Bell Road, Corner of Bell Road and Atlanta Hwy. Alcoholics Anonymous and Alanon meetings are held Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday, at 6 p.m. An Open AA Speaker meeting is held on Saturday at 6 p.m. An Alanon & AA held on Sundays at 2 p.m. Location: Journey Church, 2960 East Cobbs Ford Road across from The Catfish House in Millbrook Celebrate Recovery - Christ-centered 12-step for anyone struggling with addiction or life-challenging issues. Mondays at 5:30pm (meal-CrossTalk Cafe), 6-6:55 pm (large group), 6:55-7:45 (small group). Childcare available. Call Larry at 334-832-5714 or visit myjourneychurch.com. Location: Landmark Church, 1800 Halcyon Blvd. RSVP- This is a 12 step spiritual recovery program for overcoming addictions. Using the steps and Bible we help build self-esteem, responsible behavior, the making of amends for our destructive actions, and to fill the void in our hearts in a loving relationship with God. Wednesday @ 6:30pm in Rm. 121 of the Life Center.
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January 2017
Divorce
Location: Prattville Church of Christ, 344 East Main St. RSVP - 12 step (Christians Against Substance Abuse-CASA) spiritual recovery program, for overcoming addictions. Class begins each Wednesday evening @6:30 PM. Please call 334365-4201 for addition information. Location: Santuck Baptist Church, 7250 Central Plank Rd. (Hwy 9), Wetumpka. Celebrate Recovery meets each Thursday evening at 6:15 in the Fellowship Hall. This is a Chrsit centered 12 step-program for anyone struggling with hurts, habits, and hang-ups. Call 567-2364. Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) is open to all struggling with addictive sexual behavior. If you believe you have a problem with sex addiction (or are wondering if you might) and you want to change your behavior, we recommend you visit our group. For locations, please visit- https://saa-recovery.org/ or please contact – MontgomerySAA@outlook.com. Meetings are held: every Sunday night - 7:45 p.m, men only. Every Monday night - 7:30 p.m, men and women. Location: St. James UMC, 9045 Vaughn Road Celebrate Recovery meets every Thursday night from 6-8 pm in the Youth Room. This is a Christ-centered 12-step group for anyone struggling with an “addiction or lifechallenging issues.” For information, call Chris Henderson at 334-215-0427. Location: Trinity Episcopal, Wetumpka (Across from Winn Dixie on HWY 231) Gamblers Anonymous-Saturdays at 7 p.m. Location: First United Methodist Church, Wetumpka 306 W. Tuskeena Street ‘Fresh Start’ Recovery meets every Thursday, 6-8pm (meal included). In 2011, Fresh Start Motorcycle Ministry (FSMM) began when God laid it on the heart of a lifetime biker to minister to those with his background. All are welcome, not a requirement to own/ride a motorcycle. Format used is the Holy Bible. For any info contact ministry leader, Paul Henderson, 334-201-5428.
Alzheimer’s / Dementia
Location: First UMC, 2416 W. Cloverdale Park, Wesley Hall Bldg. An Adult Parkinson/Alzheimer’s respite ministry meets from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. every Monday, Wednesday and Thursday. Lunch is served. Contact Daphne at 834-8990. Location: Frazer Memorial UMC, 6000 Atlanta Hwy An Alzheimer’s and Dementia Caregivers’ Support Group meets on the first Thursday of each month at 11 a.m. in Room 3103. Call 272.8622. Location: Frazer Memorial UMC, 6000 Atlanta Hwy A Dementia Daycare is held each Thursday in Rm. 3101 from 9:30 a.m. to 12 p.m. Each participant may bring a sack lunch. There is no charge. REGISTRATION IS REQUIRED. Call the LifeCare office at 272-8622. Location: Memorial Presbyterian, 2130 Bell Road A Dementia Morning Out for caregivers is offered each Tuesday from 8:45-noon. There is no charge. Each participant may bring a sack lunch (juice provided). Registration is required by calling 274-1018.
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Location: First Baptist Church, 305 S. Perry Street Divorce Care is held Wednesdays, 6:30-8 pm. Childcare available. $15 for workbook. Dinner at 4:45 ($5 adults, $3 kids). Call Kathy Cooper at 241-5125. Location: Frazer Memorial UMC, 6000 Atlanta Hwy Divorce Care meets each Tuesday from 6-7:30pm. in the Fellowship Hall Lobby. This group will provide support & guidance to assist you in working through the issues, pain & pressures surrounding divorce. Also, are you stuck in a pattern of going back to the same relationships or situations hoping for or expecting different results? In this new study “Never Go Back”, you will recognize and truly change those life patterns that hold you back and keep you from your goals. Call 495-6368 or e-mail singles@frazerumc.org. Location: Vaughn Forest Church, 8660 Vaughn Road DivorceCare fosters a weekly supportive and caring environment to heal the hurt of separation and divorce. Call 279-5433.
Gambling
Location: Cedarwood Community Church, 10286 US HWY 231 in the Wallsboro/Wetumpka community Gamblers Anonymous, Saturdays at 6 pm. 567-0476 Location: St Paul’s Lutheran Church, 4475 Atlanta Hwy, Mondays @ 6pm. Gamblers Anonymous Hotline: 334-541-5420 or you can call 2-1-1 and ask for meeting information. Alabama Council on Compulsive Gambling: 277-5100
Grief Location: Eastmont Baptist, 4505 Atlanta Hwy. Compassionate Friends is a national self-help support organization for families grieving the death of a child meeting first Tuesdays at 7 pm. Call (334) 284-2721 for info. Location: First UMC, 100 E. Fourth St, Prattville Grief Share, Tuesday evenings at 6:30 pm in the church parlor. Call 365-5977. Location: Frazer UMC, 6000 Atlanta Hwy Grief Recovery Support Group meets Tuesdays at 5:30 p.m., Rm 3105, in Fellowship Hall Lobby. 272.8622. Location: Grace Baptist Church, 304 Old Montgomery Highway, Wetumpka Mourning to Morning is a Christian growth group for mothers who have lost a child, from before birth through adulthood. Meets the last Thursday night of each month. For info, contact Alice Scarborough (334) 462-4775 or Gwen Ellis (334) 567-8754 or e-mail mourningtomorning@gmail.com. Join us on Facebook--Mourning to Morning Group. Location: Millbrook FUMC, 3350 Edgewood Rd Grief Share meets Sundays from 5-7 p.m. For more information or to sign up, please call the church office at 285-4114 or email churchoffice@mfumc.org.
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Location: Pilgrim Rest Missionary Baptist Church 1550 E. Washington Street Grief Ministry is a grief recovery support group that meets every Monday at 6:00 P.M. The ministry is designed to help anyone through the hurt of losing a loved one by successfully traveling the journey from mourning to joy. Alicia Glover is the coordinator. For information contact Glover at 334-281-2754. Location: Vaughn Forest Church, 8660 Vaughn Road GriefShare is a support group that meets Wednesdays from 6-8 pm. This program is non-denominational and features biblical concepts for healing your grief. GriefShare will be led by Howard and Carol Payne and Jim Williams. Call 279-5433 for more information.
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Parenting
Location: First Baptist Prattville, 138 S. Washington Moms LIFE (Living In Faith Everyday) meets twice monthly from 8:30 - 11:45 am in the chapel at the Church from Aug May. We offer a time of fellowship, Bible study, musical guest, special guest speakers and a lot of fun!! Cost is $5 per meeting. For moms of all stages and ages of life. Childcare provided by reservation. For more info and to reserve your spot, call April Scott at 828-446-6666. Location: First Baptist Church, 305 S. Perry Street MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) Moms, need a little break? MOPS is a place you can share a good meal, make new friends, and find encouragement as you face the everyday challenges of raising your little ones. We have educational speakers, great conversation, and fun activities. Free childcare is provided. Meetings are every 2nd and 4th Tuesdays, 9:30-11:30 a.m., September through May. Contact Tiffany Alewine at 241-5165.
Location: Frazer Memorial UMC, 6000 Atlanta Hwy Frazer mom2mom is a playgroup to connect mothers of ages birth to 5 at Frazer United Methodist Church to share fun and inspiration in our journey together, with our children, and with Christ. Email Mom2mom@frazerumc. org for more information.
second Thursday 1:00 – 2:30 p.m. The group is called Outward Sight - Inward Vision and is for those with vision loss and their caregivers. Our mission is to assist those experiencing vision loss to maintain their independence by providing access to valuable information and spiritual support. Call 272-6152.
Location: Landmark Church, 1800 Halcyon Blvd. Single Moms Support Group, Wednesday nights at 6:30 p.m. in classroom 118. For more information call 2775800.
Location: Frazer Memorial UMC, 6000 Atlanta Hwy An MDA/ALS Support Group will meet Tuesday August 10 6:00p.m. – 8:00 p.m. in room 3101. Anyone affected by a neuromuscular disease or family members of those affected. To receive information, call 3964534.
Location: Perry Hill UMC, 910 Perry Hill Road Single Moms’ Care and Support Group meets 2nd and 4th Thursdays from 6:15 - 8:00 PM. December meeting will be on the 11th. Free snack supper provided to moms and children. Child care for infants -16 years. Call 272-3174. Location: Redland Baptist, 1266 Dozier Rd, Wetumpka A MOPS group will be held 1st and 3rd Tuesday’s of every month during the school year, and has scheduled play dates and moms nights out through the summer and beyond. While moms are in a MOPS meeting, their children are lovingly cared for in the MOPPETS program. Email Denise Braswell at deniseorscott@yahoo.com . Location: Vaughn Forest Church, 8660 Vaughn Road Are you in need of a time-out? MOPS joins mothers together by a common bond, to be better wives, moms, and friends along this journey in the trenches of motherhood. We meet the 1st and 3rd Tuesday of each month from 9:30—11:30 a.m. Childcare is provided. For info e-mail VFCMOPS@gmail.com.
Physical Challenges
Location: Aldersgate UMC, 6610 Vaughn Road Visually Impaired Support Group – Meets monthly on
Location: Vaughn Park Church, 3800 Vaughn Rd. Montgomery Area Down Syndrome Outreach Group meets 2nd Friday of each month from 6:30- 8 PM. We have activities, speakers and special events throughout the year for the parents, siblings and children with Down Syndrome Childcare is provided. Please visit our website at www.montgomeryareadownsyndrome.com or visit our Facebook page (MADSOG) for more information. Please contact MADSOG at montgomeryareadownsyndrome@gmail.com for more information.
Same Sex Attraction
Location: Huff Community Ministry Building of First Baptist Church at 305 S. Perry Street Upstream Support Group for those dealing with unwanted same sex attraction. The group meets at 6:30 pm every first, third and fifth Tuesday evenings. For more information about Upstream call (334) 241-5141 or (334) 241-5140.
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River Region’s Journey
Q. In your opinion, what is the limit you can responsibly spend for a wedding if the people involved have debt?
A. The cost of the average wedding in America rose to $32,641 last year. But when it comes to what you can reasonably afford, I think it becomes relative to exactly how much debt you have and what kind of income we’re talking about. If you have $5,000 in debt but you make $150,000 a year, stop worrying, pay off your debt, and save up for a great wedding. If you make $28,000 a year but you have $30,000 in debt, then you need to have a really minimal wedding. Anywhere from $3,000 to $5,000 would be reasonable in
River Region’s Journey
January 2017
that kind of situation — and even then it’s going to be tight. The more debt you have in relation to your income, the smaller your wedding expenses should be. A $32,000 wedding would be ridiculous for someone with a $28,000 income. But $28,000 is a belowaverage income, so you shouldn’t reasonably expect an average wedding in terms of cost. It really all boils down to ratios. Just remember, the amount of money spent on the ceremony, reception and all that stuff isn’t what’s important. It’s the love that two people have for each other that makes the ceremony special and the marriage one that will last a lifetime!
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Q. What are your thoughts on transferring an IRA over to gold? A. Honestly, I think that’s about the dumbest thing a person could do. I hope I wasn’t unclear. Gold is going down like a rock right now as people start to believe in the economy and the economic direction of this country again. The stock market indicates this is true, and in the process, gold becomes worth less and less. Gold is essentially a fear-based product, and the less fear that’s out there, the cheaper gold is. That’s not how you want to fund your IRA. You want to fund it with something that has a long track record based on growth due to the performance of the companies involved — not someone’s greed or fear. Gold is a horrible investment, and I don’t own any except for one nice watch and a pair of cufflinks. That’s it!
Provides caring, quality services that affect all communities and every person in the state — not just those who walk through health department doors.
Increases access to health care for eligible, uninsured children ages birth through 18 with the ALL Kids Children’s Health Insurance Program. In 2013, ALL Kids served nearly 85,000 Alabama children.
Provides nutrition assessment, education, and nutritious foods at no cost to a monthly average of 139,000 limitedincome pregnant, breastfeeding, and postpartum women, infants, and children up to age 5 at nutritional risk through WIC.
Investigates disease outbreaks, maintains surveillance of notifiable diseases, and answers queries about disease control and other health-related events including communicable disease outbreaks and rabies case investigations.
Protects patients/ residents of health care facilities from abuse and neglect. Works to ensure facilities provide a level of care that complies with state and federal standards. Requires corrective action when surveys find facilities are noncompliant.
Protects the public from foodborne illnesses and the spread of disease by ensuring standards in environmental health, regulates onsite sewage disposal systems, and oversees treatment and disposal of septage and other permitted wastes.
Offers home care services that include skilled nursing, physical therapy, medical social work, and personal care services through Medicare-certified home health agencies.
Provides health education to modify behavior to prevent and manage chronic diseases such as arthritis, asthma, cancer, heart disease, and overweight/obesity.
Offers a tobacco Quitline.Thirty-nine percent of tobacco users who complete the telephone or online program stop using tobacco.
Issues certified copies of all Alabama birth, death, marriage, and divorce certificates in every county health department on a while-you-wait basis regardless of where in the state the event occurred.
Provides a wide range of confidential and professional family planning services, regardless of income, to prevent unintended pregnancies and abortion through education and contraceptive services.
Administers the Alabama Breast and Cervical Cancer Early Detection Program to provide screening to uninsured and underinsured women age 40-64, and ensures treatment is provided.
Screens newborns for genetic or metabolic conditions, thereby reducing morbidity, premature death, intellectual and other developmental disabilities through early detection and follow-up.
Provides clinical nursing services such as immunizations, and STD and TB screening and treatment. Administers the Alabama Drug Assistance Program for HIV medication assistance.
Assists rural and medically underserved areas by working with health care providers and organizations to prepare grants and provide workforce development.
Assures that emergency medical services meet or exceed established standards.
www.adph.org 1-800-252-1818
Come Worship With Us!
Programs offered for all ages and stages of life. Sunday 8:30 am 9:45 am 11:00 am 5:00 pm 6:15 pm
Worship Services Bible Fellowship Classes Worship Services Discipleship Classes Worship Service
Wednesday 4:45 5:30 6:00 6:30 6:35
pm pm pm pm pm
First Family Dinner Sanctuary Orchestra Rehearsal First Family Prayer Time Powerhouse (Student Ministry) Sanctuary Choir Rehearsal
Bring them in... Build them up... Send them out... 305 South Perry Street | Montgomery, AL 36104 334.834.6310 | www.montgomeryfbc.org
Jay Wolf, pastor