LADY “O”

{ LADY “O” } YOU ARE ENOUGH. NO MATTER HOW HARD IT GETS

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO BY OMENESA ORUMA AKOMOLAFE

HERE’S WHAT YOU SHOULD NOT DO

No matter how hungry you are, don’t eat the food of someone who doesn’t like you. No matter how broke you are, don’t become a beggar. No matter how lonely you are, don’t go to Egypt. No matter how tired you are, don’t sleep on your ex’s bed. No matter how weak you are, don’t lean on a Murderer’s shoulder. No matter how sick you are, don’t go to a poor hospital.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the more vulnerable you are, the wiser you must be. The more vigilant and alert you must become. The more common sense you must have. The more prayers you must pray. The less words you must say. The more peace you must declare. The more tools you must use.The more armored you must be.

Today I found myself hungry, in the vicinity of someone who does not like me. Though there were options to choose from, but even if there wasn’t, I would have rather starved to death. You see, there is something called Self-Respect. I didn’t use to have it, but now I do.

Though this may seem like a far stretched example, I think it’s suitable. Have you ever noticed the way people pay tribute to someone who died of cancer? Most people say, “You fought a good fight, and you did it with dignity”. I have seen this sentence stated in different ways, but hardly with the omission of the word “Dignity”. Because there is no other word to describe someone who maintains their cool in hell. I watched my mother do it, so I can testify. She was dignity personified.

Dignity is what you must have when you are placed in am awkward, embarrassing position. Dignity is the posture you should maintain.

This is the stance you ought to take today. That No matter how beat down and worn out you are, there are some quarters you wouldn’t be found in. There are some things you wouldn’t do. There are some words you wouldn’t say. There are some habits you wouldn’t imbibe. There are sins you wouldn’t commit. You simply cannot stoop low. Dignity, Self Respect, Self Preservation. These are the keys to being respected. No matter what happens, you must not return to Egypt. No matter how low life knocks you down, there are the things you shouldn’t do. Once upon a time, I wouldn’t have considered this. I would bear my heart naked to people who didn’t really know me. I would give to people who couldn’t spell “charity”. I would trust people who honored my parents, and assume they also honored me, until their display of dismissal and rejection, one too many times.

I was raised as a PK, so I watched my Parents be nice. They gave everything, expecting nothing in return. Watching this pervasive behavior for so long did something to me. Notice I said TO me and not for me. That’s why I called it “Pervasive”.

I became Codependent and was drawn to narcissists. I subconsciously found the gaps in people’s lives, and I spent years filling up holes I wasn’t ordained to fill. Well, I’m sure that some of these people were my assignment, but I know for a fact that many were assignments that I put on myself. God didn’t assign me to those people. I am still hurting over some of all that giving, but I won’t look back. However, there is no way on God’s green earth that I can be taken for granted again, and that’s why my sense of dignity has tremendously increased.

The more you place healthy boundaries on yourself, the more self preserved you will become. Not only will you not surround yourself by Takers, but you will do all you can not to take from

“Dignity is what you must have when you are placed in an awkward, embarrassing position. Dignity is the posture you should maintain.”

takers. In fact you will do all you can to never be in a place of extreme want, but if you do, you would know how to handle yourself with contentment and class.

You will not allow yourself to be mocked or laughed at. That’s what Self-Respect does for you. It forces you to humble yourself. Soon, you wouldn’t lack for anything, internally that is. Your internal strength will make up for the gaps of financial crisis or vices. If you remain consistent with loving yourself, you will soon have all you want and need. Enough to never need to knock on any door, let alone on Pharaohs Door. I wasn’t fair to myself. I put myself in a place of temptation. If I only scheduled lunch or a light evening snack, I wouldn’t have been hungry. In as much as you wouldn’t return to Egypt, make sure your survival does not depend solely on Egypt.