Praise be something

Praise Be Something

MICHAEL BOYCE & KEN SPARLING

1

One

I can keep on going. Or I can cut it short.

I can push part of it out. I don’t have to push it all out, right?

I can push it. Leave it. Rest for a while. Somewhere, somebody will look for it. They will look for it. I can

I mean, I can push part of it out, and then I can leave

tell. And I can tell you this for a certainty. They will

the rest. Right? I mean, what the fuck, man. It’s not

look for it. Somebody, somewhere, somehow, will

like anybody really cares. It’s not like anybody any-

look for it. This will happen, just as I prophesize.

where is really going to care. There’s nobody who cares.

Really, dude, I can keep it going, you know. I can push it out. I can push it right out.

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Okay, there is somebody who cares. I know this. I’m

It wasn’t what it was, not at all. And then it was what

not kidding myself. I’m not entirely deluded. Some-

it wasn't.

where, there is somebody who cares.

There wasn’t anything playful about it. It was cheerful

Look at it, will you. Will you just look at it? Will you

enough. It was disassociation, plain and simple. It

even know what it is when you look at it?

was a place for them to retire. They considered the world. Should they intervene in the world?

Yes, I believe you will. You will know what it is. It will let you know what it is.

This was not an intervention. This was paranoia, maybe.

It will be a thing, and it will know itself, and it will know enough to let you know what it is.

Did she leave a will?

The thing you know when you know the thing is the

It was not destruction. She was wanting. For sure she

will to know what you already think when the thing

was wanting. There was no doubt in my mind that she

you know is sometimes inside you. Then, when you

was wanting. She was wanting to be wanted. But by

find what you’ve known all along, it will be the thing

then it was too late.

you will know that you’ve known was inside you all

That’s the letter I was telling you about, right there.

along.

See? That’s the ruling.

And, it will be both a thing and a tiding.

You could just smell the pine. Like the pine was right

And you will be glad. And I will be the angel of good

there. Like the pine was right there up your nose. You

tidings. And you will be the saddest of the angels.

could smell it that much. Like it was right up there up

And you will be so very sad. Like that one day, do

your nose.

you remember, when you were both glad and sad?

She was sitting on top of the box. She was getting off

Do you remember that day? Because I remember that

of the box. She was not a mystery or a monster but

day. You were glad and you were sad. You were glad

her blood was running. And she felt for a while that it

to be sad. And it is that way with you. That is just the

was all inside. And then it was all outside.

way it is with you. Always. It makes you quite glad to be sad. Always.

And the box was neither inside nor outside. The box was simply a place where she had been. It was a

It is all part of what is left behind when everything

place where she had been but now no longer was.

else is taken away. **** It was looking as though she’d bought it. For it brought hope.

Of course, it wasn’t as though the world was unfriendly. The world was a planet. And god was a star.

God was the star at the bottom of the planet.

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2

Two

Dil Ozeram said, “There was any way that it was be-

“And in struts non te park nat its ends. Nod it morns

ing what it warn’t.” Even warn he got too tired, Dil

non the bed and zoon it stits up agin non the living

sung such things ornt his head. “They was giving him

rim non ends nor the classroom nor than tit starts bar-

treats,” Dil sung, “and then theys giving him some

gain on her doorstoop and dorn ends dun dis core.

complyments.” But they worn’t no puppy nano more.

Den it stits his car an stits her ends dun his core.

And they neven’t say an word nod him. Own girls

There dinn carbon dating. There dint places. Bents

did. Own girls amembered win she’n warranted to

that nin door no lonk innik beds.

ply him, and no nother reason and no nother poison nor allown’t her. There’n a story int,” Dil mommers.

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3

Three

Given the state of things. Listening for wood blocks.

were not doing your homework. World is a given.

Looking around corners. Smelling the unfamiliar.

OK.

Smelling the strength. Feeling the strength of who you

Start again.

were. Everything smelling stronger than who you were. It is not unpleasant.

No you are too old. Go into the pasture.

If you couldn’t see it going down the drain then you

I am singing this for you, you know. It is okay to sing.

didn’t read your book or watch enough TV when you

He sang and I sang. We sang over boats. He slept in

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the beat of her heart. Her heart beat in the bush like a bird in tower.

It is that dreaming place. Hand me that change, will you. Keep the dime, though. The rest, I’ll find a use for. Doesn’t matter what you buy. You fall asleep in the middle of whatever it is, anyway. Maybe you buy a record. Or a plate of spaghetti. You see how it makes no difference. You just fall asleep. At the end of the day you are sometimes standing where you were before the end of the day.

Beats me why.

He is so tired all the time. It’s not that dreaming way you have. He hands you a way to approach the morning. Always in his pockets there are new processes for making.

In the document, and in all that he found and saw in the shuffle as he walked back in time, there was a drying rack in the corner of the cabin and a tack in the heal of his shoe and it was scraping up her floorboards. Did she say he could come in here. He is always with her boyfriend all the time. And he didn’t bring her flowers. No one brings her flowers. She doesn’t like it when they bring her flowers. What do they think she is, something out of TV from a hundred million years ago? Everywhere there’s history that doesn’t sign its name.

There was a lady bug on my knee, little girl. And you woke up that morning and you couldn’t see. You couldn’t see down the drain. You didn’t read your book. You couldn’t cook your meal. You didn’t watch the TV. When you were not doing homework, you were being given string. Okay. No. Start again. No.

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4

Four

Helios was reading the surface of a woman's face.

If there is too much quiet space into which we can

Meaning arrived like wild dogs. Like drops of rain

fall, if this woman is clear, if her face is empty and

drooling into the woman's eyes and out of the corners

alive with a mute anguish over what she will never

of her mouth.

feel, what will then happen next? Is it a feeling? Do you feel like that?

But I stay only just a moment, to see what will happen next. To wait and see what happens next is what

It trickles in, arrives – like sewer water over a grate.

we do. It is how we work things. Sometimes.

Like a wave over top of where we have been. What is that? That is just because you have arrived. You have 6

arrived like water. Meaning, there is a feeling here, and I am getting into it.

Helios is walking down the stairs. The woman is leaning out a window, looking down at trees. Leaves are colours. The wind is bitter. The air is cold. The sun is cool and still too shiny off the glass. Graven images. A paper trail. It goes between, then sinks. Gloves off.

We pass things by.

The wind picks up and says something. Going all, for all of it. The ghost of a something said to someone.

Something they never meant to say. It’s like being stuck in between. It is like trying to connect. Operators are standing by. Timed like different versions.

Rounder versions. More golden.

I felt emboldened. Only the sun has a right to piss yellow on my mother’s face.

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5

Five

Don't forget your magic ring. It is the only thing that

It isn't about anything, you say.

is going to be saving you this time.

No, I never said that.

Shadow light leaves the play when you cross-

Going for the broken voice, in the middle of the mean

reference trees.

song, you feel harsh and sad and almost dead. You

That is all.

look over the edge of dead. You see yourself there.

What is all?

What I said was, It is not a boot.

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There is always something in the boot, you said.

We laughed. Joy. Transgression.

And it tends to get around that it is there.

In the boot?

Yes. Be careful what you manifest inside the vessel.

Have you smoked this thing before?

Don't go going outdoors when you're indoors.

For too long, inside your mouth, the rising.

You've taken a paper towel with you, only to never return.

But I need that paper towel.

Try the boot.

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6

Six

Let this be the one then, Henry. Let this be Devon. De-

Take, for an instance, that good thick drink you are

von is looking crispy this morning. She is looking at

drinking right now. Water is a liquid.

you. Her name is Karen, though. They don’t use those

Once there were people. Who believes in art? Now

old names any more.

the fences are sophisticated. It’s more like going to the

Crispin didn’t take the garbage out last night and his

ice cream parlor, now, with the pallor of vanilla ice

new girlfriend, Shona, doesn’t know who her father

cream. There were flavours there. There were different

really was.

people there, with their different hats. Their coats and shoes and skin tones and their hairdos and their tone 10

of voice were all standing in the way of one another and the looks upon their faces saying, If you want it so badly, then give it up freely. They want, however.

They want so badly. You don’t even want to even what they want so badly?

No one asked for it. It was given freely so you’d suffer better. They are vetting him right now for the senate.

Peanut butter and an allergy to pollen. Bees are missed. Everything gets in here. It’s better this way.

That’s the way to do it. Put everything in. The in between is coming through. You can see the shadow of it.

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7

Seven

These arbiters. This freedom from consequences. This

never forget. But I didn’t know your name so I

census done more than once. Thirty years ago, you

couldn’t call you, and I couldn’t tell you.

weren’t even born, Jim and Jane. I was sad when you

I am seeing you right now. What is your name? It will

weren’t even born yet. You didn’t even say my name

help me to know when I cross the threshold.

yet. It was my name I was having a hard time remembering.

Inside my apartment, I have moved my hand again. It is my Karen who I will call. It is right to remember.

But it could be only a way to find out how you are on

You said it before. Like Joe Gould and his seagulls.

the side of me now standing in the light and I could 12

They were talking to the terrible frequencies of light in code.

He was always going to do it over.

He was always going to say, It just feels good to be saying it. Even though it isn’t even making any sense.

It is only making sense in the way it is a reason. It makes his fingertips and toenails vibrate. It’s a mystery to us all.

And we just keep going.

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