“Please God; Let me wear high-heeled shoes!” Last year I suffered a very serious accident involving my back, and yet the most upsetting part of that, was that all I wanted was to wear my favourite shoes! Written By: Kerry-Louise Barnaby The two most covetable items in any woman’s life: chocolates and stiletto shoes. A very wise Forest Gump once said: “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get”. Well let me just say that last October I was devastated when I had to swallow the worst chocolate I have ever tasted. And that chocolate changed my life forever.
they’re your favourites. You’re lucky if they last a week!
I have been an actress for as long as I can remember. My mum always said I could dance before I could walk, I could sing before I could talk and I never needed an excuse to be dramatic. So it seemed only natural that, at the age of 16, full of dreams, I left the warm, comfortable shelter of home and migrated to the big city that is London.
Suddenly I was bed-ridden and facing the very high possibility of never being able to move fully again. No more dancing, no more performing, no more living! After all, what is the point in living if you can’t be happy and live the life you want to live?
Then, about a year ago, while doing some further training, in Physical Theatre at East15 Acting School in Essex, I suffered an injury to my back. Even now, I don’t really know how it happened; all I know is that it changed the course of my life as I know it.
My dream had come true and I was setting off to spend the next two years studying Musical Theatre at the BRIT School of Performing Arts. My life couldn’t be better. For the next two years I spent my days singing, dancing and acting and spent my evenings doing pretty much the same. Those two years flew by and before you could say “Action” I was playing the lead in a professional production! Needless to say, I had the nicest box of chocolates I could have hoped for; and I never wanted the chocolates to run out. However, a box of chocolates can never last forever - especially when
As a petit girl of just 4’11”, I am a heel-a-holic! I can’t get enough! Super high, platforms, kitten, stilettos, you name a type of heel and guaranteed, I will be wearing them! So you can imagine my despair when I realised that I could barely walk let alone walk in heels! And, on top of that, I didn’t even own any pairs of flats, well, unless you count my jazz
shoes, ballet shoes or trainers. I was devastated. What shoes was a going to wear? What outfits did I even own that would look right without heels?! Though, I suppose initially this question just didn’t matter… I spent two months, gradually strengthening my back, attending physiotherapy and going on 10 minute walks before I would have to lie down again. The rest of the time, I spent with my new best friends. Friends by the names of: Vogue, Elle, Cosmopolitan and Glamour. As days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months, and magazines began merging into one, I happened to flick past an advert in Glamour. “Ever wanted to work in Fashion, well we have the perfect course for you!” That was it! I could feel the heat from the light bulb flashing above my head: “Idea Idea,” it was saying. Why not?! Why not work in Fashion? Why not use my experiences to write about how fashion is more than just choosing the clothes that you are going to wear in any given season; they are an expression of yourself. You are a book and they are your cover. They help give the outside world a glimpse into who you are, what you stand for, and how you approach life. Isn’t that what I had learned? That without my clothes I didn’t feel like I could be myself? I had just lost everything. My chocolates had gone; I was a shoe whose heel had broken and been unceremoniously dumped. At that moment I felt like my life was over, I was finished- until I saw that article. Suddenly fashion seemed a very real possibility. And as the walks progressed from 10 minutes, to 20
minutes, to one hour, and I began to gradually heighten again, my heart began to beat harder than it had in so long. Colour returned to my cheeks and fashion took over my consciousness. I was a woman possessed. I understood that my physicality had been damaged indefinitely and I knew that that chapter of my life, that box of chocolates was finished and the line had been discontinued. It was time for me to find a new favourite. It was time for me to start living again. With that, I applied to study a BA (Hons) degree in Writing Fashion and Culture. I decided that writing about fashion was my new way to express myself. I decided that fashion was the thing that had brought me back to life and I owed it. It deserved for me to thank it properly and to repay it by realising and understanding my passion for shoes and clothes and identity and to make other people realise how important it is in their lives. We all go through times when we feel low, so low that we don’t know how we are ever going to make it. Carrie Bradshaw once said: “Will I ever laugh again?” My answer to this question is yes, you will. When? When you realise that if life hands you a chocolate that you don’t like, it is some greater chocolatier telling you that it is time to taste it, swallow it and re-awaken your taste-buds. Because that chocolate doesn’t taste bad, it tastes different and that chocolate could satisfy you in ways the old one never could.