The Marathon Weekly 03-0914

You are holding our first edition. Each week we will bring you the people, places and events that make the Middle Keys the most spectacular place on earth. To our visitors, welcome to the Middle Keys!

Ayoung participant in the DolphinSplash program at the Dolphin ResearchCenteris greeted by Talon, a 13 yearold dolphin. Talon, who was born at Dolphin Research Center, is a direct decendant of Flipperhimself. His parents, Little Bit and Mr. Gripper, appeared in the original Flippermovie starring Chuck Connors in 1963.

The Marathon Weekly

Art Desk Composing and Pre-Press

Production: Joanne “Joni” King

Graphic Design: Joanne “Joni” King John Bartus

Sales Desk Director of Sales: Loretta Frost

Notice to Advertisers: The Marathon Weekly assumes no financial responsibility for typographical errors in newspaper advertisements, but when notified by the day following publication, may reprint that part of the advertisement in which the typographical error appears. All advertising in this publication is subject to the approval of the publisher. The Marathon Weekly reserves the right to correctly classify, edit or delete any objectionable wording or reject the advertisement in its entirety at any time prior to scheduled publication in the event it is determined that advertisement or any part thereof is contrary to its general standard of advertising acceptance.

Local Advertising: Deadline is Thursday at noon.

News: Deadline for news, sports and photos is Wednesday 5 p.m.

Classified Advertising: Deadline Wednesday noon.

The Marathon Weekly is a community weekly publication owned by: It’s About Time Advertising Agency.

All stories, photos and graphics are copyrighted materials.

MARATHON!

Well,here we go!

City of Marathon Marathon

The City View

by Scott Janke, Marathon City Manager

AFFORDABLE HOUSING

I wanted to try to explain to Marathon residents what the city is doing to satisfy our affordable housing crisis. Much has been written over the last month or so regarding this problem. Some have pointed the finger of blame at the City of Marathon, which is absolutely unfair.

The affordable housing crisis has been a significant issue in Monroe County for at least 15 years. When I was a County Planner here in 1987, I couldn’t afford housing, and eventually left for greener (and much colder) pastures. The City has been in place a very short time, yet we are making progress on this extremely important issue.

To build truly affordable housing, housing for families making between $30,000 and $45,000 per year, significant changes need to be made to the way we do business. The high costs associated with land, building codes, permitting requirements, and construction costs make it very difficult to build housing for these income levels.

To successfully satisfy the housing needs for local working families, subsidies will need to be implemented. There are a number of ways to accomplish this. The cost of land must be taken out of the equation. The Monroe County Land Authority can purchase land and donate it to affordable housing projects, but they have a limited level of funding. The State of Florida, through the Florida Housing Finance Corporation, also can provide subsidies in the form of low interest rate loans and tax credits. However, these funds are also limited and the process of applying for them is a very competitive one, which tends to favor developments on the mainland.

Another way of accomplishing this goal is to combine some Market Rate ROGOs with affordable housing projects. By doing this, the market rate units can help to defer some of the land and amenity costs away from the affordable units, making them more “affordable”. However, the city can not take its very limited supply of Market Rate ROGOs and pass them on to affordable housing projects. This would only hurt local residents who are desperately seeking an opportunity to build their own home.

If we are to be successful with this, the State of Florida will have to help us by establishing a “bank” of Market Rate ROGOs that would be legally attached to affordable housing projects. No developer is going to build affordable housing without making some profit. Why should they?

We are also working on the opportunities for affordable housing in our live aboard community. The City will have 64 moorings available on City owned bay bottom next month which can be used by live aboard vessels. However, the majority of Boot Key Harbor bay bottom is owned by the State of Florida. The current rule governing state bay bottom prohibits living aboard for more than six months. The City recently

began working with the state to have an exemption granted to allow some percentage of state bay bottoms to be used for live aboard vessels. This process with take time; up to a year, so please be patient with us. I believe we will be successful, and in the near future we should see over 100 live aboard moorings in Boot Key Harbor.

Affordable Housing is a critical issue. Unless we are successful with our efforts, it could adversely affect our community for years to come. Please work with us to solve this crisis. By working together, there is no doubt we will be able to provide quality housing for all income levels in Marathon.

LITTLE VENICE UPDATE

Phase II – From 113th Street to 107th Street Gulfside, Pelican Plumbing has been contracted to go door to door to ask for permission from the homeowner to locate their septic tank; it will be easier for the contractor and homeowner to locate where the hook up to the main sewer line will take place on the property. This is part of the sewer contract and will save the homeowner the cost of locating the septic tank.

Phase I – Main Line has been cut across US1 at 107th Street. Running the remaining main sewer line from 117th Street to 107th Street is being completed. During this time, the contractor will also connect each street to the main line. Plumbing contractors are currently connecting the homeowners portion of the project from the lateral on the right of way up to the owners home. The contractor will also be going back to 95th through 98th Streets and digging up certain areas to make sure all the connections that were made by the previous contractor are acceptable and correctly done.

If you have any concerns or problems, please contact Mike Puto, Community Development Director at 289-4102.

City Council Adopts Rollback Rate

now 2.4931

by Ed Frost

The City Council unanimously passed a new budget and the rollback millage rate at a special call meeting Monday September 8. The rollback rate of 2.4931 mils will generate the same amount of ad valorem taxes generated at last year’s millage rate of 2.9645, because of increased property values in Marathon.

What exactly does this mean to local homeowners? “If your home was valued at $350,000 last year by the tax appraiser, at the current mill rate of 2.9645 you paid the city $1,037.57 in property taxes,” according to Marathon City Manager Scott Janke. “If you qualify under the Homestead Exemption and your property value can only increase 3% per year, your home will be valued at $360,500 next year. At the roll back mill rate of 2.4931 you will pay $898.76 next year. This means you will actually pay $138.81 less in city property taxes next year.”

Only minor changes were made to the budget that came out of the previous workshops. Those include the establishment of a marine/special use enforcement officer after January 1, 2004 by the Sheriff’s Office which will cost approximately $68,000, and the earmarking of $200,000 in the capital improvement fund as local match for a grant to purchase the Cianchette property adjacent to Marathon Community Park. This parcel is slated to be developed as Community Park Phase III, complete with an aquatic center.

The total budget for the city for fiscal year 2004 is $17.77 million, with $9.29 million (including a fund balance of $2.5 million) in the general fund, and $7.73 million (including a fund balance of $3 million) in special revenue funds. Ad valorem taxes (city property taxes) will generate $3.4 million, with intergovernmental revenue providing $1.65 million into the general fund, and $1.62 million into the special revenue funds.

New expenditures for fiscal year 2004 include two new firefighter/EMS positions and one new fire inspector, construction of a city hall and a fire station, marina and boat ramp improvements, hiring the special enforcement officer, the potential purchase of the property for Community Park Phase III, bringing the Building and Code Compliance departments in-house, and establishing new parks and recreation programs.

The city’s total assessed property value for fiscal year 2004 is $1.44 billion, up $245 million over the past year. When the city put together its first budget in 2000, the assessed property value was just under $1 billion. In the three years since, the city’s assessed taxable property value has risen $440 million.

Mayor Randy Mearns

Vice Mayor Pete Worthington

Councilman John Bartus

Councilman Jeff Pinkus

Councilman John Repetto

City Manager Scott Janke

City Clerk Cindy Ecklund

Council Tries To Fix ROGO

Also passes temorary ban on trailer redevelopment

by Ed Frost

“ROGO Sucks.” Anew bumper sticker created (and paid for) by Marathon City Manager Scott Janke was displayed prominently by Councilmen John Repetto and John Bartus at Monday night’s ROGO workshop and again at Tuesday’s City Council meeting. The Council unanimously passed a Comprehensive Plan amendment ordinance on first reading Tuesday that revised the ROGO point criteria to favor local residency and reduce the number of ROGO points that could in effect be “purchased.”

The Council also unanimously passed on first reading a moratorium on accepting new ROGO applications and protecting the top 19 ranked applications. The moratorium ordinance contains an “administrative relief” provision for potential building permit applicants who feel that they were unfairly excluded from submitting their applications by the Council’s invoking of zoning in progress on July 8. That action stopped the city from accepting any new ROGO applications.

Under the current system, ROGO lots can be purchased with a credit of two points per lot. Under the revised rules and proposed new point system, ROGO lots will only carry one point. In lieu of purchasing a ROGO lot, a payment may be made to the City’s Land Acquisition fund to be used for purchase of property for conservation or affordable housing uses. Amaximum of two points from any mix of ROGO lots or payments can be used for any application.

The other major change offers a maximum of five points based upon length of residency within the city – one point per each two years of residency to a maximum of ten years.

Resident John Manges argued that the Council should open up the residency requirement to all Monroe County, to which Councilman Jeff Pinkus responded, “If we do that, we might as well open it up to the entire United States. This is for the people of Marathon.”

Because of the new state building code that requires new buildings to withstand 150 mph wind loads, the Council deleted the extra points previously

available for construction to 160 or 175 mph wind loads, determining that it was just another way to “purchase” points.

In other actions, the Council reversed itself and approved a zoning map change for Jim and Bettye Chaplin that will allow a restaurant on their Knight’s Key property. The Chaplins recorded deed restrictions on the property that prohibit outdoor activities after 9:00 p.m. and any new restaurant business after 10:00 p.m. The Chaplins will also provide gates for Kyle Way to help keep restaurant guests out of the neighborhood.

Greg Coldiron, a Knight’s Key resident and one-time vocal opponent of the project, declared that he was happy with the compromises offered by the Chaplins. Although a few neighbors spoke against the project, Councilman Repetto cited a recent survey conducted on Knight’s Key that found 27 neighbors in favor, 5 against, and 14 who didn’t respond.

Councilman Jeff Pinkus offered, and the Council passed unanimously, a motion to

invoke zoning in progress to temporarily prohibit redevelopment of mobile home and RV parks. The temporary prohibition will last until the Council considers a proposed moratorium ordinance on redevelopment of RVand trailer parks until an affordable housing study is completed. The study will likely be funded by Monroe County’s Affordable Housing Work Group, according to Councilman Pinkus, who is the city’s representative to the Group.

In other action at Tuesday’s meeting, the Council passed on first reading an ordinance establishing an advisory Planning Commission, and approved the final conceptual design for Marathon Community Park Phase II. The redesign was made necessary by the potential acquisition of the adjacent Cianchette property, which is set to become Community Park Phase III and include an aquatic center.

Councilman John Bartus proposed for action at the next meeting a resolution requesting help from State Representative Ken Sorenson and State Senator Larcenia Bullard to change the six-month restriction for live aboard boaters on state baybottom. Other items presented to be considered at future meetings were a commercial TRE ordinance that

exempts RVand trailer parks, and a commercial ROGO ordinance.

KCB Commission News

Bridge problems, lobster diving ban considered

by John Bartus

Monroe County and the City of Key Colony Beach will split the costs to repair or replace the Sadowski Causeway Bridge, according to Key Colony Beach Mayor Clyde Burnett.

Florida Department of Transportation inspectors evaluated the bridge in May, 2002. “They found the bridge in need of serious repair, and that it probably should be replaced,” said Mayor Burnett.

“State officials did further research, and found that the bridge may still be owned by Monroe County,” Burnett said. “Our attorney met with their attorney, and they worked out a deal where the county and the city split the cost of repairing or replacing the bridge 50-50. After that, the city will take full ownership of the bridge from Monroe County.”

In other news, at their Thursday September 11 meeting, the Key Colony Beach City Commission passed on first reading an ordinance banning lobster diving in the city’s canals around the time of minilobster season. The ordinance would ban diving and snorkeling in the city’s canals beginning four days before mini-lob-

Challenge Day Thank You

ster season extending to ten days after the start of regular lobster season.

The ordinance passed by a 41 vote, with Mayor Burnett and Commissioners Tucker DeGraw, Peter Hines, and Vice Mayor Arlene Carbin voting for, and Commissioner Jeff Vorick voting against. The ordinance will come up for second reading at the City Commission’s October meeting.

Sanctuary Council Looking forAdvisors

Anew group of residents will soon be chosen to help guide the future of the Florida Keys’ 2,800 miles of protected ocean, as part of the Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary Advisory Council.

Three seats have been filled and 14 seats are still open on the Council, which is going through a three-year turnover process to keep new ideas flowing.

Part of the council members duties are to talk to the public on issues that pertain to the sanctuary and also give guidance to sanctuary officials on how to deal with the complex ecosystem.

Some of the remaining

On behalf of the Marathon Youth Challenge Program I would like to thank the entire coordinating committee for a most successful Challenge Day. Aspecial thank you to Marathon High School Assistant Principal Sunny Booker, Bettye Chaplin, David Cohn, Cindy Eklund, Ray Frey, Ed Frost, Lynn Goodwin, Sheriff's Deputy Linda Hartley, Debbie Hegland, Suzi Pape, Peggy Rittenhouse, Allen Sells, Michele Sutter, Marathon High School Principal Barbara Wright.

Thank you to the 104 Marathon and Big Pine students and adult facilitators who participated. You are all very special people.

Challenge Day was made

seats that are open are commercial fishing, conservation and environment, diving, and education. Applications for these and other seats must be turned in at the Marathon Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary office by September 30. The final selections will be made by the Director of the National Marine Sanctuary. For more information, go to www.fknms.nos.noaa.gov.

Upcoming School Holidays

possible because of the generous contributions of the following benefactors: Annette's Lobster and Steak House, Captain Bob Peryam and Lieutenant Larry Kelly of the Monroe County Sheriff's Department, Tom Bateman, Chaplin Real Estate, Dr. Greg Pape, Frito-Lay, Inc., It's About Time Advertising, John Thacker and Chief Tony Messina of the Marathon Volunteer Fire Department, Bob Roberts, Winn Dixie Corporation Marathon Store Manager Luis Rodriguez, Lynn Goodwin, Marathon Loyal Order of the Moose, Marathon Office Depot and Staff, Monroe County Education Foundation, Marathon Specialty Hardware Supply.

The heart and soul of Challenge Day is Judy Greenman. She had the dream to bring Challenge Day to the Keys and the commitment to keep the program alive. Thank you, Judy.

Rita Rose Acting Coordinator, Marathon Youth Challenge Program

Friday October 10

End of grading period

Thursday October 16

Professional Day

Friday October 17

Non-work non-paid day

Tuesday November 11

Veterans’Day

Wed-Fri November 26-28

Thanksgiving Break

Friday December 19

End of grading period

Monday December 22

Begin Winter Break Classes resume Jan. 6

Monday January 19

Martin Luther King Day

Monday February 16

Presidents’Day

Thursday March 11

End of grading period

Friday March 12

Professional Day

Monday April 5

Begin Spring Break Classes resume April 14

Turtle Hospital Soon To Open To Public

by Steve Conklin

The Turtle Hospital in Marathon is about to make a big change in the way they do business. The turtle rapid care center and recovery room, which has been run by Richie Moretti since 1984, will soon be open to the public and possibly in a new home.

Currently local veterinarians, such as Marathon’s Doug Mader, volunteer their time, performing complicated turtle surgeries. More than 5,000 school children visit the hospital every year, and are among the privileged few who have been allowed to tour the facility. Soon that will all change.

Moretti is preparing to open the hospital this fall to have scheduled tours that include a slide show, tour of the facility, and visiting with the turtles. Also, a research center would open to complete a project on curing the debilitating viral tumors that affect over 50% of the sea turtles in the Keys and around the world.

The hospital has been financially supported by the income generated by the Hidden Harbor Motel, which Moretti owns and is adjacent to the hospital. He plans on selling it to create additional revenue for the hospital.

Moretti has some ideas on

what he plans to do with the motel, including converting it into housing for non-profits.

“Making the motel into housing for non-profits would give me no stress of running the place myself and it would help the non-profit groups with housing issues,” Moretti said.

Other possible scenarios would be to continue to run it himself or sell it to Key West developer Pritham Singh. The idea of keeping the motel has seemed less attractive ever since the Department of Community Affairs (DCA) wanted to impose a 72-hour evacuation for hurricanes if Moretti adds density. Since then, the DCAhas withdrawn the restrictions tied to occupancy, but has kept the 72-hour evacuation procedure alive.

Marathon has been Moretti’s home for 20 years and he wants the hospital to stay here.

“I bought the motel with the idea of bulldozing it, but now I am ready to sell it to improve our turtle hospital,” Moretti said.

The hospital has had 250 video documentaries about it, including some for National Geographic, Discovery Channel and Good Morning America. This week NBC news anchor Tom Brokaw will be visiting to do a feature on the turtles and their home.

The hospital and its exposure are more that any other event or activity in the Keys combined. Moretti knows that the exposure can only be a good thing.

“People see us on television and want to come in and give donations, but we have had to say no,” Moretti said. “Now we’ll be able to change that and also inform everyone about the problems we deal with, such as not throwing garbage into the water because it harms the turtles.”

This week an injured sea turtle was flown in from St. Croix, Virgin Islands. The turtle, which was attacked by dogs while attempting to lay eggs on the beach, lost an eye in the battle. Moretti and staff veterinarian Doug Mader are working to save the other eye. If the turtle’s eye is saved, she will be returned to her native St. Croix.

If the effort to save her eye fails and she is left sightless, the Theatre of the Sea in Islamorada has offered to give her a permanent home where she will be cared for.

Moretti has a plan to save the injured turtle’s hatchlings. He

they could be returned to the beach on St. Croix where the attack took place. The Turtle Hospital is located at MM 48.5, Bayside in Marathon.

Richie Moretti, director of Marathon’s Turtle Hospital, tends to an injured sea turtle that was flown in from St. Croix, Virgin Islands on Wednesday, September 10. The turtle, which was attacked by dogs while attempting to lay eggs on the beach, lost an eye in the battle. Moretti and staff veterinarian Doug Mader are working to save the other eye.

plans to import beach sand from St. Croix to provide a familiar, natural setting for the laying of the eggs. When the eggs are ready to be hatched,

The Marathon Weekly appreciates all the good work that Richie and his staff do at the Turtle Hospital

Mike Kissner, The New Quarterback of Fishermen’s Hospital

The new Chief Executive Officer of Fisherman’s Hospital, Mike Kissner, is a Florida native from Gainesville and has lived in the Sunshine State all his life.

As a youngster, Mike’s parents would load up all seven kids (three brothers and three sisters, Mike the eldest) and the pop-up Coleman Camper and head to the Keys for vacation. Mike has been coming here for 40 years.

His parents just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary and they now reside in Lake City, Florida. Mike and his brothers and sisters were raised in Delray Beach. His father worked for and retired from Gulf Oil.

Upon graduating from high school with a football scholarship in hand, he headed to Florida State University where he played as a linebacker for coach Bobby Bowden. In his senior year of college, Mike married his college sweetheart, Norma Jean. After graduating with a bachelor of science degree, they moved to Vero Beach, Norma Jean’s home-

town. Mike eventually earned a master’s degree in business administration from Florida Institute of Technology.

For the next 25 years they raised their sons, Michael Jr., now 22 and Matthew, 21 in Vero Beach. Norma Jean put her career in education on hold to stay at home and raise the boys.

Mike is a very proud father. Michael Jr. just graduated from Princeton University, while Matthew is a junior at Florida State. Both boys were great scholars and athletes in high school, as Michael achieved All-State honors in football and wrestling, while Matthew played baseball and football, serving as senior class president and earning a spot on the Dean’s List.

Mike comes to Fisherman’s Hospital from Brooksville Regional Hospital, where he was Chief Operating Officer. Before that he was Executive Director of Doctor’s Clinic, a 40-physician, multispeciality group practice in Vero Beach.

Marathon Marathon Letters to the editor

The Marathon Weekly... Your Community Newspaper

The only security of all is in a free press. The force of public opinion cannot be resisted when permitted freely to be expressed. The agitation it produces must be submitted to. It is necessary, to keep the waters pure. - Thomas Jefferson to Lafayette, 1823.

As you pore through these pages, you may be wondering if and why the community needs another newspaper. What does the Marathon Weekly offer that other publications don’t?

Simply put, the Marathon Weekly is the Middle Keys only true community newspaper. We only cover issues and events happening from Duck Key to the Seven Mile Bridge – fairly and without bias. And, we’re the only locally owned newspaper in the Middle Keys.

Our mission is to cover the news that’s really important to you, in depth and in detail. We’ll also let you know what’s happening with our local charities and non-profits. Simply put, if it’s important to the people of the Middle Keys, you’ll see it in our pages.

There’s something else you won’t find in our news articles – our opinions. It’s far too easy to let one’s personal bias come through when writing the news. We won’t do that here. We believe that you are more than capable of making up your own mind on the issues. We’ll give you the news, you give us your opinions.

In fact, your letters to the editor will be our opinion columns. Reread the line in the Jefferson quote above: The force of public opinion cannot be resisted when permitted freely to be expressed. Our editorial pages will be dedicated to the public’s opinion – your opinion.

We’ll have plenty of fun stuff, too – comics, two crossword puzzles, local sports, great columns, and articles of interest to all segments of the community. We want to be the one paper everyone looks forward to reading – and the best part is you’ll get it delivered free each Sunday morning.

We look forward to sharing Sundays with you, and we hope to become a welcome part of your Sunday morning routine. Thanks for reading, and we’ll see you here next Sunday!

Editor:

Apoorly researched article in [a local newspaper] confuses our island's scooter issue even more. There is a distinction between the noisy, gas-operated, stand-up, high-handlebar, go-ped scooters with no seats or sometimes no handlebars at all (motorized skateboards) which many teenagers use; and the 50cc or less gas-operated motor scooters with seats and handlebars that can can be legally rode on the streets with a Class E operators license, tag, title, registration (a helmet is required if under 16 years of age), and the more powerful than 50cc gas-operated motor scooters that also need tag, title and registration. Motorcycles, same requirements with motorcycle endorsement, but drivers 21 or older do not require helmets so long as they have Personal Injury Protection (PIP) or proof of health insurance. The noisy gas-operated stand-up scooters driven by teenagers are perhaps annoying, but are legal on sidewalks.

On the other hand, the popular, inexpensive electric two-wheel 250-watt electric scooters, such as the Boreem Jia sold by Island Golf Cart Supply at 2675 Overseas Highway are also legal on the sidewalks. It is not very different than the electric Rascal scooters (an electric mobility device) that the elderly use, the electric three-wheel scooters in the supermarkets, and the electric three-wheel scooters used by handicapped or elderly at major airports.

As a matter of fact, the Boreem Jia sold at Island Golf Cart is equipped with a headlight, a horn, turn signals, dual rear-view mirrors, a comfortable seat with springs, front struts with shock absorbers, a small trunk, and all one must do to ride at night is purchase a rear brake light, sold at K-Mart and the Equipment Locker, which also sells scooters.

Regarding legality of the electric scooters, I have spoken to the Department of Motor Vehicles in Marathon, I picked up their pamphlet at DMVentitled "Do You want to ride motorcycles, mopeds or scooters," I spoke to Sheriff Deputy David Simon, I spoke to Florida Highway Patrol Master Officer Howard, I spoke to two Sheriff dispatchers, Carolyne and Marty, I spoke to the Key Colony Beach duty officer, and I spoke to KCB City Police Sergeant Tetterton who, very generously and politely with his time and knowledge, said that he was unaware of anyone on Key Colony Beach being cited for a properly-equipped electric scooter. The officers all said that the electric two-wheel 250-watt scooter that goes 18 KPH, or roughtly 11.16 MPH, on level ground is legal. All officers also said they would not consider citing anyone on the sidewalk unless there was an issue of disturbance or endangerment such has hitting a pedestrian, dog, another bicycle, or not obeying standard traffic rules such as right of way. In addition, the electric scooter is environmentally friendly, no petrol fumes and virtually silent.

Speaks

operated stand-up go-peds with no seats and/or no handlebars that are both fast and noisy, and driven primarily by allegedly irresponsible youngsters. I do not believe that adults who use properly-equipped electric scooters for transportation on sidewalks should be part of this new issue. In fact, I don't believe the two councils should be wasting taxpayers’money even discussing such a trivial issue.

Bond Ying Marathon Shores, FL

Editor:

It’s time to kick off the Not Everyone is a Republican Tour 2003. Let the band start playing and the donkey start swaying, flashing those stubborn stupid smiling teeth.

As the momentum is building all across this land, people are starting to realize how bad things have become in just a few short years. And like it or not, whatever crazy morality that brought this current administration to power is now facing major holes which have penetrated deep into the fabric of America's current consciousness. It isn't just a myth of Al Gore hypothesizing about fuzzy math from the Bush administration anymore. It is absolutely a case of real FUZZYMATH, along with various contradictory stories that support a less-than-honorable use of power by a few to completely affect the lives of the masses (middle class) of which I am one. This is why I am expressing my views here today.

When has it ever been the policy of America to attack and invade a sovereign nation (period), much less to do it under false pretenses and without the support of most of the free world... and without any philosophy that exposes the truth of the effort? It can be argued that Saddam and his sons posed a terrorist threat to us and after 9/11, we must rid the world of this insanity. How does this justify, however, our use of military tactics to terrorize the lives of the Iraqi people – a people living in a sovereign nation in place that is not America but coincidentally contains massive oil reserves and – oh yes, let's not forget – unsettled family business that the Bush family needed to take care of. This may not be what you believe and it may seem unpatriotic to read, but I believe the truth is much stronger than lies and eventually all will be recognized for what it is – absolute power corrupting absolutelyin the name of morality and other various shadowy illusions.

•

•

Fax: 305-743-0866

E-mail:

edwinfrost@keysadvertising.com

What is apparently under dispute in the confusing newspaper reporting is the new "Segway" standup side-by-side two-wheel electric mobility vehicle such as the one that President George Bush fell down on, which photo was printed in the Miami Herald, and the noisy stand-up gas-operated scooters teenagers use zooming around neighborhoods. It is my understanding from speaking to the Sheriff and KCB officers that both KCB and Marathon City councils are planning a meeting to discuss the gas-

So now here we are with a more offensive situation than even when Nixon was in power! Most people want to live a happy and prosperous life with loved ones and friends. We strive to give Americans their birthright in a place that is beautiful and free. Tax dollars need to be used to make sure things work effectively in America for Americans. How many tax dollars are being used in Iraq to promote destruction followed by the rehabilitation of the Iraqi people, if we can ever stabilize the place. Wouldn't you like to know that your basic services and needs were being met with your tax dollars?

Who's fooling whom? As the Who said, "Let's not get fooled again."

I hear that stubborn donkey getting ready to kick something down...and it just might be the doors to the White House. It's time to understand and confront the truth – not because it's easy or convenient, but because denial of the truth will irreparably harm our democracy.

-Name withheld by request

Dolphin Research Center, AFun Place to Be

By Dick “Conch” Conklin

Every half hour; 9 am - 4 pm, 7 days/week: Included in allday admission, Adults, $17.50, Seniors 55 and over, $14.50, Children 4 - 12, $11.50.

Dolphin Encounter

The popular Dolphin Encounter program lets you and your family "swim with the dolphins". Participants learn about wild dolphins, the DRC dolphin family, and their differences. You learn basic hand signals in order to communicate with the dolphins. Includes a workshop and structured swim time. Professional videotaping extra.

tions required; call (305) 2890002. There are a few spots saved for walk-in customers each day.

Hands On Training

(305) 289-1121.

Dolphin Research Center, Grassy Key, FL. Mile marker59. (305) 289-1121 .

For our inaugural issue, we decided to start with a visit to a place that is (1) right here in the heart of the Keys, (2) perfect for the whole family, and (3) both educational and entertaining. Dolphin Research Center (DRC), at mile marker 59, fills the bill perfectly. But this place is definitely not Sea World. You won’t find any passenger trams, costumed characters, amusement park rides, or even bleachers to sit on. That's because DRC is a non-profit education and research facility, home to a family of Atlantic bottlenose dolphins and California sea lions living in natural saltwater lagoons. In addition to programs for the public, DRC conducts noninvasive research projects. The organization also rescues manatees in distress throughout the Florida Keys.

Daily visitors can spend an hour or all day watching the dolphins and sea lions participate in a variety of exciting and informative behavior sessions geared to teaching people more about these amazing animals and the importance of conserving the ocean environment. Although the Center's work is serious in nature, there is still time for fun with the dolphins, who are happy to entertain their visitors with a variety of behaviors, some of which are invented by the animals themselves. One of these is a tendency of dolphins to single out a visiting human for some impromptu fun. During one visit, I became the target for one dolphin's

favorite game – playing “seaweed toss” by picking up some seaweed with his snout and throwing it with amazing accuracy. As I videotaped the moment, the trainer observed that the playful creature was making a beeline for me. Flicked by Flipper, the seaweed landed right on my camera lens!

Almost everyone who visits the Florida Keys asks about swimming with the Dolphins. DRC offers a variety of interactive (that is, human and dolphin) programs for the public, which we have listed here. As you might expect, some of these sessions are quite popular, and the demand often exceeds availability. Call or visit the center’s Web site for all of the facts.

But whether you go for a week-long program or just spend a day watching sessions, a visit to Dolphin Research Center should definitely be on your list of interesting and fun things to do in the Middle Keys.

Getting Personal with a Dolphin

The following activities and programs are offered by the Dolphin Research Center to the public.

Narrated demonstrations

Each specialized session demonstrates a different aspect of the animals' lives. Observe their behavior, watch high-flying athletics, and learn more about the mammals and the DRC's medical, behavioral training, and research programs.

$155 for a 3 - 4 hour half-day experience, which includes approximately 20 minutes of structured swim time. Participants must be at least five years old, and children ages 5 through 12 must be accompanied in the water by a paid adult participant. Advance reservations are required; call (305) 289-0002.

DolphinSplash

This wade-in program allows participants to be accompanied by a trainer to the lagoon to meet "your" dolphin and learn some "dolphin etiquette." Water is about waist deep. You may be fortunate enough to receive a wet kiss from your new friend and give a backrub in return.

Offered various times throughout the day. $80 for children and adults; children 3 and under $25. No minimum age requirement, however a paying adult participant must accompany children under the age of 8. Children age 3 and younger must be held in the arms of a parent or guardian participant. Advance reserva-

For anyone who dreams of becoming a trainer, or who wonders how trainers communicate with dolphins, Hands on Training combines a private training course with up-close interaction. Participants accompany DRC staff on the boardwalks to observe training in action, visit the Fish House where dolphins' meals are prepared, and learn the principles of training and the steps used in shaping behaviors. Finally, you'll put what you've learned into action on a dock giving signals to the dolphins.

Wednesday afternoons; a half-day program open to visitors ages 12 to adult. Cost is $100.00; space is limited to six participants. Although available on a limited walk-in basis, advance reservations are recommended. To book a reservation, call (305) 289-0002.

Play with the Dolphins

This hour-long interactive program includes a private discussion about dolphin behavior and the importance of play in a dolphin's daily life. At the dock, you'll meet a dolphin face to face, and select a toy to participate in a dolphin's playtime session.

One hour duration; offered Monday through Friday afternoons for $40.00 plus the cost of admission for visitors ages 5 to adult. Children under the age of 12 must be accompanied by a participating adult. Available on a walk-in basis only, space is limited to six participants, so visit DRC early and sign-up! For more information, call

Paint with a Dolphin T-shirts painted by dolphins are popular souvenirs. You'll assist while a dolphin paints a shirt for you. After a behavior session, you'll get an up close introduction to a dolphin, then kneel and hold the T-shirt over the water while it is painted.

The cost to Paint with a Dolphin is $55 in addition to the admission price; the shirt is included. Asouvenir photo is available.

Meet a Dolphin

You'll sit behind the dock during a fun and informative dolphin behavior session. Then a trainer will bring you to the front of the dock for a personal, up-close introduction. Feel their smooth skin when dolphins glide under your hand for a backrub. Shake flippers in a unique dolphin 'hello'.

The cost to Meet a Dolphin is only $15 in addition to your admission price. Souvenir photograph also available.

DolphinLab

This college-accredited program lets you spend a week immersed in the world of dolphins, participating in various forms of interaction. Seminars provide basic dolphin information. Upon completing the Basic course, you may learn more by taking the Intermediate and Advanced DolphinLab courses. Modified versions of the Basic course are also offered for schools or special interest groups.

Contact the Dolphin Research Center for more information. (305) 289-1121, ext. 225.

Dolphins: Dusk to Dawn

This new program for school and youth groups is an overnight adventure at Dolphin Research Center. It begins with a private "after hours" tour of the facility to meet the dolphins and sea lions. You can listen in to the dolphins' underwater conversations with a hydrophone and learn about their acoustic abilities. Apizza party is held at the DRC dorm. Participants take part in discussions about the dolphins' unique abilities and what they can do to help them and their environment. Acraft project uses recycled materials. An evening snack is followed by a late-night dolphin video. After a slumber party at the dorm, a continental breakfast is served, followed by an early morning walk to greet the dolphins

while a handler feeds special fish treats.

Program cost: $65.50 per person. Group sizes: 10 to 18 people. Groups must supply chaperones. One adult is admitted free for every ten children attending.

For more information, or to book a Dolphins Dusk to Dawn adventure, call (305) 289-1121, ext. 261.

Dolphin Day Trips

The Dolphin Research Center is a perfect destination for a school field trip. Contact the Dolphin

Research Center for more information.

Dolphin Child Program

The Dolphin Child Department offers dolphinassisted therapy and recreational programs for adults and children with special needs, illnesses, and disabilities. Dolphin interactions act as therapeutic adjuncts, serve as agents of change, and represent contacts with nature, as well as increase the capacity for enjoyment through the Dolphin Child Therapy Program and the Special Needs Recreational Program.

For more information about DRC's Dolphin/Child Therapy Program, contact Joan Mehew, Director of Dolphin/Child Department, (305) 289-1121 ext. 228. For more information about the Special Needs Recreational Program, contact Lynne Adler, Special Needs Coordinator, (305) 289-1121 ext. 232.

Birthday Parties

The DRC is an excellent venue for special occasions, including birthdays, engagements, and other events. Birthday parties include a personal tour of the grounds and an introduction to the sea lions and dolphins. Aspecial narration for children, Fun Facts For Kids, teaches them about these beautiful marine mammals. Your birthday child will also visit the dock to share a handshake with a dolphin! A5x7keepsake photo of that handshake is included. Finally, it's off to the picnic area for some games and fun activities. Each child leaves with a gift from DRC and a lifetime of memories!

The program is offered only on Saturdays from 3:00-5:30 p.m. Call the DRC Guest Programs Department, (305) 289-1121 ext. 207.

Dolphin Research Center

Web site: http://www.dolphins.org

Main number: (305) 289-1121

Reservations: (305) 289-0002

Address: Dolphin Research Center , 58901 Overseas Highway, Grassy Key, FL33050-6019

Directions: U.S. Highway 1 between Islamorada and Marathon, in the Florida Keys. Mile marker 59 on Grassy Key.

Dick “Conch” Conklin is a big fan of all four species of local Dolphins -- the mammals found at the Dolphin Research Center and in our local waters, the popular fish (sometimes incorrectly called Mahi-Mahi in local restaurants), and of course the Marathon High School Dolphins and Miami Dolphins football teams. “Conch” can be reached at conch@keysy.com or on the Web at www.keysy.com/conch

Motion of the Ocean?

New study shows the ocean is a significant source of nutrients to reef waters

FLORIDAKEYS - Arecently released study shows that a large source of nutrients that threaten the coral reefs of the Florida Keys is one not previously documented – the deep ocean. According to lead author Dr. James Leichter, from the Scripps Institution of Oceanography, “We studied upwelling of cool, subsurface water at multiple sites along the Florida Keys reef tract. Our results show that this natural source of nutrients can deliver as much as 20-40 times more nitrogen and phosphorus to the outer reef tract than estimates of nutrient pollution from sewage and storm water runoff.”

The study was published in the journal Limnology and Oceanography and was a collaboration among scientists from Scripps Institution of Oceanography, the University of California at Berkeley, and the University of North Carolina at Wilmington (UNCW). Much of the work conducted during this study happened at and around the

Aquarius underwater laboratory off of Key Largo.

The large amounts of nitrogen and phosphorus are brought to the reef by an oceanographic process called upwelling, in this case a specific, high frequency form of upwelling caused by internal tidal bores. Dr. Leichter explained, “It’s a little like waves sloshing back and forth in a bathtub, but in the ocean at much grander scales and in ways that sometimes cause surges of deep water to move into much shallower areas. When this happens in the Keys, nutrients brought to the reef can increase 10 to 100 times over background levels.” The upwelled water is rich in nutrients due to natural processes. When plankton and other organisms produced or living in surface waters die they often sink to the bottom. Leichter further explained, “As these materials sink they start to break down, they get eaten and excreted, and the end result is the slow and continuous addition of nitrogen and phosphorus to waters with increasing depth.”

Surprisingly, the upwelled

water makes it to the reef a lot more often than people realize, as many as several times a day.

“The presence of this water on the reef for extended periods of time has the potential to significantly affect the biology of corals, sponges, and algae,” added Leichter.

The study also shows that a special form of nitrogen in the upwelled water is also present in samples of algae collected from the reef. Hannah Stewart, U.C. Berkeley, suggests that the algae are directly using nitrogen from the upwelled water. “This is particularly interesting because some scientists believe that this special form of nitrogen is a sewage signal – a smoking gun – for pollution, while our work clearly suggests otherwise for the offshore reefs,” added Miller.

Scientists stress that it’s important to provide context to this new data. Co-author Dr. Steven Miller, University of North Carolina at Wilmington, said, “I’m sure some people will try and use these numbers to claim that changing sewage disposal practices in the Keys is unnecessary, but they would be wrong. What our results show is that a major nutrient pump exists offshore. However, nothing in our study contradicts

Keys Keeping Wary Eye on Isabel

Major hurricane still days away from potential impact by John Bartus

Forecasters at the National Hurricane Center are closely watching Hurricane Isabel, and are advising everyone from the Bahamas to the entire east coast of the United States to monitor the progress of the storm.

The powerful hurricane hasn’t impacted any land mass yet, and forecast models as of press time suggest that a ridge will re-develop off of the east coast of the U.S. that will steer Isabel northward. Still, officials warn that hurricane forecasting is far from an exact science, and all interests in the islands and along the coast should follow the track of Isabel.

Should Isabel make landfall as a

the fact that we also have a nearshore pollution problem.”

“What I like about this study is that it provides a balanced approach to a complicated issue. They acknowledge that while upwelling is a significant source of nutrients to the offshore reefs they don’t dismiss the need to better understand the dynamics of nearshore nutrient pollution making its way offshore,” said Dr. Brian Keller, Science Coordinator for the Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary.

Category 4 hurricane, damage would be catastrophic. According to the National Hurricane Center, a Category 4 storm would cause 250 times more damage than a Category 1 hurricane. Winds would be between 131-155 mph, with storm surge generally 13-18 ft above normal. Low-lying escape routes could be cut by rising water 3-5 hours before arrival of the center of the hurricane.

Local, state, and federal officials encourage all people living in areas at risk for hurricanes to have a plan, and to be prepared to evacuate when the call comes. Mandatory evacuation for Keys residents is a certainty during a category 3, 4, or 5 hurricane; live aboard boaters and trailer/RVresidents will be called to evacuate during a category 1 or 2 storm. Local shelters will only be open in a category 1 or 2 storm. While the peak of the Atlantic hurricane season is in September, the peak of the storm season for the Keys doesn’t happen until October.

Check Out Our “Let’s Do Business” Advertising Section. You can have color ads. Call Loretta Today! 305-289-0844

Ma, I’m a Food Critic

BY RITA ROSE

Well, why not? Anybody who knows me knows that I love good food. Plus, I’ll try anything once. The stuff that most people shudder at the thought of eating, I like. You know the stuff I‘m talking about: snails, okra, sushi, oysters, frogs’legs, and anchovies, I eat them all. Hot peppers, cold soup, bring it on. Scrapple (old Keys delicacy), grunts and grits, serve ‘em up. You get the idea. Steak, prime rib, or a juicy hamburger – my mouth is watering! Grilled this or sautéed that, I’m your girl. One from Column Aor Column B, I’ll have some of each. Thick or thin crust, I like them both. The other white meat – a favorite! And don’t forget dessert (I never do!). Marathon is fortunate to have over 35 restaurants. Yeah, silly me, I counted. Our choices range from Keys Cuisine, Italian, Cuban, Floribbean, cook your catch, Chinese, Japanese, Mexican, Tex-Mex, Deli, Barbeque, Grill, Stone Grill, and good ole’hearty

Marathon, My Hometown

Comfort Foods Made Fast and Healthy

BY RITA ROSE SummerFruit Sensation

American. From now on I’ll be sampling the fare with a critical eye and a sensitive palate. Or is it the other way around? How about our health? Can we get a tasty light or hearthealthy meal in Marathon?

Does anybody serve sugar-free desserts with the diabetic in mind?

Anyway, watch out restaurateurs – I‘m on the loose. I’ll be interviewing owners, chefs, cooks, and staff. I’ll be scoping out kitchens. From their signature dish to the maybe-nots.

From, “this is the best thing I‘ve ever tasted,” to, “I think I’m going to be sick.” From, “this presentation is a work of art,” to, “send this mess to the lab, maybe they can figure out what it is.” I’ll try them all. I’ll be table-hopping too so I can ask your opinion of the presentation, food, and service.

I’m even hoping to get the chefs to share a recipe or two. So set a place for me, I’ll be sampling and tasting all over town

Restaurant of the Week

Hello Marathon,

So yes, I’m a restaurant critic. And that’s not all – I’ll also write from time to time on other happenings around our town. Yes, another newspaper columnist in a new local newspaper! If you looked at the byline and are now thinking, “Uhoh, Rita’s hitting the bottle again.” Hang up the phone Beulah, there’s no gossip to spread here. I’ll explain.

I’ve lived in 9 different cities. Some up north, some in Florida. All of them were basically nice places to live. I worked, played and made friends in each city. Only one out of the 9 has ever felt like home.

My late husband and I used to drive down to the Keys from Ft. Lauderdale every chance we got. For both of us, we crossed the border into the Keys at the sight of the first osprey nest atop the old wooden electric line poles on the “stretch.”

We’d see that nest and look at each other and smile. It was like a weight lifted off our shoulders. We knew we had to live in the Keys. It took a few years, but our dream finally came true.

Because of his work, which would take him to Key West most days, and my work, which made me go to Miami some days, we settled in Marathon. Best move of our lives.

Marathon to me has the feel of a small, old-time, mid-west town; except it happens to be an island in the Caribbean. What a special place… watch the sunrise in the morning; cross the highway and catch the sunset at night. Water sports of every variety… the thrill of catching our own dinner. Boy Scouts. Girl Scouts. And, oh my goodness, kids still actually play outside.

We have wonderful community parks and beaches.

Most service clubs and fraternal organizations meet here. We have twelve churches, a

Blueberry-Raspberry

SummerPie

1 (4-serving) package sugarfree vanilla cook-and-serve pudding mix

1 (4-serving) package sugarfree raspberry gelatin

1 1/4 cups diet lemon-lime soda pop

1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon

2 1/4 cups fresh blueberries

3/4 cup fresh red raspberries

1 (6-ounce) purchased graham cracker pie crust

2 (2 1/2-inch) graham cracker squares, made into crumbs

1/2 cup reduced-calorie whipped topping

In a large saucepan, combine dry pudding mix, dry gelatin and soda pop. Cook over medium heat until mixture thickens

multi-talented community theater group, and a concert series. Alibrary. Wonderful restaurants. And the people here are so open and eager to make new friends. One of the first things we noticed was that strangers say “hello“ when you pass them on the airport bike path. Wow!

We hadn’t been here long when we joined a good portion of the residents at a Sunday afternoon benefit for a Marathon guy in need. This is a caring community.

And then when tragedy struck only two and a half years after we moved here, our wonderful Marathon friends were there for me with an overwhelming amount of love and kindness. They gave me strength. They let me see that I belong here.

Maybe the true measure of a community should be the people who live there.

Marathon measures up better than any other place I’ve ever lived.

It just feels like home. So that’s why I claim the place that feels like home as my home town. So, from time to time I’d like to share with you “My View” from my home town.

and starts to boil, stirring often. Remove from heat. Stir in cinnamon. Add blueberries and raspberries. Mix gently just to combine. Spoon hot mixture into pie crust. Evenly sprinkle graham cracker crumbs over top. Refrigerate for at least 1 hour. When serving, top each piece with 1 tablespoon whipped topping. Makes 8 servings.

TAPAS ESPANOLAS

2 cups plus 1 tablespoon flour

10 tablespoons chilled unsalted butter, cut in thin slices, divided

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 tablespoon smoked Spanish paprika (pimenton)

1/2 cup milk

1 cup cooked chicken, cut in strips

6 canned or jarred piquillo peppers, drained and cut in strips

1/2 cup grated Tetilla cheese

1/2 cup grated Manchego cheese

3 to 4 tablespoons Spanish extra-virgin olive oil

In a medium-sized bowl, place 2 cups of the flour. With a pastry cutter or two knives, cut in 8 tablespoons of the butter until mixture resembles coarse crumbs. In a cup, combine salt and 1/4 cup ice water; sprinkle over flour mixture; stir with a fork until mixture sticks together; form into a ball; flatten, wrap and refrigerate until firm, about 1 hour.

In a small saucepan, melt the remaining 2 tablespoons butter. Stir in the remaining 1 tablespoon flour and the paprika until smooth; gradually whisk in milk. Bring just to a boil; turn off heat and stir in chicken, piquillo peppers and the Tetilla and Manchego cheeses. Preheat oven to 350F. Roll out dough to form a 15- by 12-inch rectangle. Cut in 20 three-inch squares; fit a square into each of 20 mini-muffin pan cups. Divide filling evenly among pastry-lined cups. Bring pastry edges up to meet and twist together in center. Lightly brush tops of pastry with olive oil. Place pans on a rimmed baking sheet, to catch spills. Bake 15 to 20 minutes.

Just a note to let everyone know that we will feature a restaurant of the week in this spot.

Rita will be visiting all the restaurants very soon and we look forward to hearing about all that you have to offer. The staff of The Marathon Weekly

Look

AQuarterback Is Not ARefund

National Sports

By Stan Haines

My Favorite Season . . .

Hurricane season, scorching, midday temperatures, smothering humidity and thunderstorms nearly everyday. Yes, my favorite time of year. The Hurricanes will once again compete for a National Championship. The heat and humidity will welcome opposing teams as they visit our beloved Dolphins. The thunderstorms? Well, I just love violent weather.

Another plus for the fall season is that the real baseball season starts in September. Although 162 games long, too many players I never heard of, and salaries beyond my comprehension perplex me; the annual quest to see who can prevent the Yanks from adding another notch to their gun belt captures my attention more than the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. (Probably my age.)

That the Marlins are still alive and very much in the hunt for a playoff spot is amazing. Nobody gave them this kind of respect at the outset of the season. They are playing some great baseball.

Week No. 1 in pro football was enlightening to say the least. Originally from the Philly area, a long time Cowboy fan, and now a Dolphin loyalist, I was ready for a Lifetime Network “chickflick” by midnight on Monday.

This week’s games include some great match-ups that will have playoff-minded teams battling early for division leads.

Panthers at Buccaneers:

The Bucs don’t appear to be suffering from a Super Bowl hangover. The scary part is that they look to be having a lot of fun too. The Cats are much improved but not enough.

Patriots at Eagles: The “Cradle of Liberty” might not be too friendly to the Patriots if Andy Reid can figure out how to call plays and fill an injurydepleted defense. Tom Brady gets a shot at picking on rookies and replacements in the Bird’s secondary. Both teams really need this win. Philly hasn’t lost

2 in a row since September of 2000.

Steelers at Chiefs: Wow—a playoff-like game in September! If Vermiel really does have an improved defense, this could be a humdinger. Pittsburgh looked great last week against the Ravens and Priest Holmes is back for KC. Sit back and enjoy this one. If Joey Porter plays, will they still smack his butt after a big play?

49ers at Rams: Marc Bulger is getting his shot earlier than last year. If he can get things going on offense and avoid turnovers, they could go a long way. The 49ers found more ways to score than Antonio Banderas against ‘da Bears last week.

Titans at Colts:

Okay—there was this guy who coached a team with great defense and no offense. He took over a new team that had offense and no defense. Now that team doesn’t have any offense . . . and if the Colts don’t get some offense, the Tites will be 2 & 0 and Dungy will be on the hot seat. Tennessee played a solid game against the Raiders last week.

Redskins at Falcons: With Michael Vick sidelined, this game could be closer than previously expected. The Skins looked pretty good against the Jets, and the Cowboys did keep Atlanta out of the end zone until the 3rd quarter last week.

Bills at Jags: Do we have to say JAG-U-ARES this season? If the Bills are as good as they played last week, the Jaguars will need some body work and a tune-up on Monday.

Lions at Packers: Lamboo field used to be a frightening place for the cowardly Lions but lately everybody is stealing the Packs’ cheese. 3 of Favre’s top 4 receivers are out injured forcing Green Bay to re-sign Antonio Freeman.

Broncos at Chargers: New uniform, same Jake Plummer. If he continues to stink, the Ponies could get shocked by the Chargers. LaDanian Tomlinson and Lorenzo Neal could be a good

Continued on page 24

Marathon High School Football Change In Order for the ‘03 Dolphins

by Steve Conklin

When I was approached to head up the Sports Page for the new Marathon Weekly, I thought, what a great opportunity to deliver to the people of the Middle Keys some sports news that has been missing in the past.

In the short time that I have lived in this great town, I have always felt that there was something missing when it came to sports news. There are not enough avenues to enlighten even the casual sports fan here in the Middle Keys, and I hope that we can help. I bring with me experience in writing for Pro Player Stadium as an intern, RMS Networks as a producer focusing on sports news, and at CBS Sportsline.com.

Agreat way to launch this page is by featuring on one of the hottest tickets in town, the Marathon High School Football Team. The Dolphins are enduring

a change of style this season and are coming off of a 6-6 record, which advanced themselves two rounds in the playoffs last year.

This season’s Marathon Dolphins will be a lot quicker than teams of the past, which reliedmore on their size than their quickness to move the ball down the field. Many of their losses last season were a result of encountering teams that had more speed. Also, four of the six losses last season were to larger schools, even though all were close games.

Head coach Lance Martin is in his 2nd year at the helm for the Dolphins, after previous stints as an assistant at Lake Highland High School, Pine Crest High School, Okeechobee High School, and in Shippensburgh, Pennsylvania.

Martin knows that the team will build on what they accomplished

last season.

“Advancing two rounds last year in the post-season gave us more desire for this season. We are definitely capable of progressing further this year.” Martin said.

Marathon’s offense will feature the Navy Triple Option, which gives quarterback Chris Kuck three options to gain yards each play: hand off the ball to the fullback, keep the ball and run, or pitch the ball to halfback. Kuck is moving over from wide receiver to take the snaps, making David Holmes their go-to playmaker on the outside.

Speed will also be the mantra on the defensive side of the ball, with eight starters returning. Andy Goll leads the trio of linebackers, as they anchor a once-dominated punishing front defense.

James Degnan and Emanuel Paz are the two defensive linemen

Friday, Aug. 29(W26-25) at Lakeland Highland Prep (pre-season) 7 p.m.

Friday, Sept. 5(W12-7) at Belen Jesuit Prep4 p.m.

Friday, Sept. 12vs. GulliverPrep7:30 p.m.

Friday, Sept. 19vs. Archbishop Curley7:30 p.m.

Friday, Sept. 26 vs. American Heritage- Delray7:30 p.m.

Friday, Oct. 3at Ransom Everglades4 p.m.

Friday, Oct. 10 vs. Key West7:30 p.m.

Thursday, Oct. 16at Coral Shores7:30 p.m.

Friday, Oct. 24vs. Archbishop Carroll7:30 p.m.

Friday, Oct. 31 at La Salle3:30 p.m.

Friday, Nov. 8at Bay Point3 p.m.

who return to the squad. The ballhawking secondary includes cornerbacks Holmes and Devon Ross, and strong safety Kuck.

Traditionally most of the players at the high-school level will play “ironman” football, playing both offensive and defense, but Martin will shy away from that philosophy this season.

“We will not play as many players on both sides of the ball as we have done in the past.” Martin said. “We will only let two players go both ways this season, compared to five or six last year.”

The Dolphins face a difficult schedule at the start of the season,

as they embark on a 55-11 opposing record for the first five teams they face.

Martin knows that they have their hands full at the start of the season.

“The beginning of the schedule is the most difficult I’ve seen since I’ve been here.” he said.

The home opener for the Dolphins was against Gulliver Prep on Friday at 7:30.

Last season, Gulliver scored the go-ahead touchdown in the final 1:30 of the game to win.

Tune in to Marathon Dolphins games as they happen, broadcast live on WFFG-AM 1300.

Marathon High School coach Lance Martin directs the Dolphins during practice.

The Marathon Dolphins look to head back to the post-season in ‘03

You are now entering Dolphin Country. Opponents beware!

This Week In Fishing

Mid-Keys Area Roundup

Here’s a compendium of info compiled from local guides and other sources:

Gulfside -- Huge jewfish chomping on everything from hooked snappers to spawning snook, to gag grouper and jack crevalles. Afew kingfish, and some signs of early Spanish Mackerel. Still good numbers of permit.

estimates the huge grouper at 500-700 lbs.

are so large.

by Rick Berry

My name is Rick Berry and I have been a writer/broadcaster since 1972. I have written for websites, local papers, including 10 years with the Miami Herald and have broadcast my “This Week in Fishing” series over numerous radio channels along with numerous other shows, guest appearances and contributions to most media including print, TV, magazines and radio.

Several years ago I hosted the Budweiser “Catch of the Day” on Thunder 100 (then Catch 100) and when that show was cloned on another station I hosted the cloned version as well. Recently, I declined to slowly step aside as demanded but did it all at once. See the whole story at the end of this unmercifully long column.

I am married to Trula Berry who owns Sunny Exposures, a swimsuit shop in Islamorada. We have one daughter, Dianne, who is a special agent for the F.D.L.E. (Florida Department of Law Enforcement) in Orlando. My daytime job is

building rods at the Key Largo Rod Co., a.k.a. The Rod Shop, which I have owned since 1978 (including five years of manufacturing fishing rods in Haiti in the early 80’s). What’s life in the Keys without several jobs? Hope you enjoy the “show!”

Fishing Summary

Late summer/early fall is a transition time of the year for Keys anglers. Oceanside, the hot water temps of Summer that tend to push dolphin out to the deeper, cooler waters of the Gulf Stream will slowly cool, stimulating the annual bait migration from the Carolinas and beyond. This trend slowly sets into motion what will become the annual fall migration of everything from sailfish to kingfish, wahoo, and cobia, and sooner then you know winter will be here. At that time we will settle down into a whole new scenario from late Nov. until late March when it all changes again.

Fall bonefishing on the flats can be spectacular. As water temps head toward that magic 78-82 degree mark, a huge bulge of water appears (fall tides) allowing skiff guides into areas they normally only dream of poling.

Gulfside anglers experience similar changes as do offshore fishermen. Cooler water temps will sooner or later push down huge schools of kingfish, Spanish mackerel, breeder redfish and cobia of all sizes to name just a few. Many of these species have vacationed as far North as the Fla. Panhandle and as far West as Texas.

These changes will be subtle and slow but 12 weeks from now we will be in a whole new season of fishing with bait schools in place and predator fish chomping on their tails on both sides of the mid-Keys.

Flats -- Better than normal flats fishing for bonefish of all sizes, small tarpon – 25-40 lbs. – with an occasional whopper and good numbers of permit due to surprisingly cool water temps for late August/early September. Capt. Dave Brown says Capt. Albert Ponzoa had several bonefish last week but “things are just getting started on the flats.”

Bridges -- Look for a few small tarpon especially after dark--fish in the 20-50 lb. class--live bait and/or lures will work, lots of snappers small grouper, 7-mile has been good. Capt. Sam Nelson recently had several small tarpon using live pinfish and dolphin carcasses at the 7-mile bridge.

Patches -- Good mangrove snapper bite, small yellowtail, muttons, grouper, ‘cudas, good bet for diving for crawfish. Look for rocky ledges, coral formations, drop-offs etc.

Reef -- Capt. Dave Brown says look for a good yellowtail bite of fish 12-20 inches along with lots of mangroves but “you might have to dodge some lobster traps.”

Offshore -- The dolphin bite is consistent with lots of schoolies, a few bigger fish in the 20’s and 30’s and some occasional sailfish.

AFew Words About Jewfish

Several weeks ago Stan Haines of the Marine Bank hooked and fought for 30 minutes a huge est. 20-30 lb. permit, according to Capt Jeff Mulligan of Jeff’s Bait and Tackle, only to have it involuntarily diverted to the shallow water wreck he and Mulligan were fishing near in 12 feet of water. (See photo of a 200 lb. plus jewfish caught aboard the Two Pisces with Mulligan.)

In a Saturday p.m. interview Mulligan told me that most likely the “diversion” or “supersizing” as Mulligan likes to call it when a smaller fish gets eaten was done by a big jewfish that ate Haines big permit. “My biggest jewfish so far has been 97 inches with a 70 inch girth.” Without even doing the math on that fish (which would have yielded an even bigger sea monster than Ed Frost or John Bartus), Mulligan

Haines later redeemed himself by landing a 31 lb. permit with Mulligan on another recent trip. Haines did a great job on this fish and had much better luck. This fish was not eaten but had to be chased all over the Gulf by Mulligan in his Yamaha powered 28 foot Parker center-console deep-vee boat. Haines’12 lb. spin reel was “spooled” (all the line stripped off by a hard running fish) three times but finally the 31 lb. permit was caught and released in good shape. Agreat catch for the quarterback of “Monday Night Madness.” By the way Stan refuses to drive Josh Mothner’s white limo this year and they are looking for volunteer drivers for the “King” of “Monday Night Madness.”

This is just one isolated example of what happens time after time on wreck after wreck according to spokespeople I have interviewed from as far North as Tampa to beyond the Tortugas. Jewfish, a.k.a. “Goliath Grouper” for those pc wussies, were an endangered species. Some 12-14 years ago their ranks were decimated by a few fishermen and many divers with spear guns and bang sticks. Today they have made a dramatic if not somewhat horrific comeback in many cases according to Gulfside wreck fishermen.

Mulligan told me that when Gulfside waters warm up he has seen as many as 8-10 jewfish over 200 lbs. on one wreck instead of the normal one or to which would normally inhabit the smaller debris piles or wrecks as they are known on the Gulfside of the Mid and Lower Keys. He said they eat almost any hooked fish from spawning snook to permit, grouper, jacks, and snapper. Mulligan once noticed 6 crawfish antennae hanging out of one jewfish he caught and released. They are currently protected with a zero bag and size limit, a law that many say has seen its day come and go.

When asked about possible solutions Mulligan thinks perhaps a tarpon tag type of solution might work with closed and open seasons or possibly a slot limit and absolutely no spearfishing.

Capt Dave Brown of the Tackle Box thinks a slot limit type of bag and size limit might work and assessed the predator nature of jewfish by commenting that, “the jewfish really has no natural enemies” since they

Whatever the solution, many wreck fishermen that I have interviewed both in the Keys and on the mainland are fed up with the current situation. They want some sort of open season on a fish that has had a virtual reign for far too long over many otherwise fishable wrecks in the Gulf of Mexico and soon on the Atlantic side as well.

Setting the Record Straight

Recently, I was asked to give up two of my five days of live radio broadcasting on a local radio station. I thought it over and resigned the following day. It was and continues to be a difficult show to host. I felt the show was successful under my guidance but small business management in the Keys often has its strange twists and turns. Other rumors to the contrary are false. Writing a column again has never felt so good.

Don’t forget, we can always use your input. Feel free to call, phone or fax your well-documented fish stories, ideas, comments or photos for use in the fishing section. I can be reached at 664-5518 by phone, 6640656 by fax, or rick@keylargorods.com by e-mail.

Marathon AYSO Soccer Needs Coaches for Upcoming Season

Marathon’s AYSO Soccer has a need for more volunteer coaches. The program has continued to grow and is looking to the community for volunteers with soccer experience to help coach or to be an assistant coach with the program.

“We know there are a number of soccer players and fans here in Marathon. We encourage them to help spread their love of soccer to the kids of our community,” stated Chris Bull, Regional Commissioner.

If interested, please call the Marathon soccer hotline at 743-0683. E-mail: chrisbinparadise@hotmail.com or visit Chris or Cindy at the UPS Store.

Landing a 200 LB. Jewsfish is Don Rogers from Cranberry Township, PA. With the help of Capt. Jeff Mulligan of Marathon

THAT’S ENTERTAINMENT

Musician Profile

by Dick “Conch”Conklin

In this space we’ll feature local musicians and bands who appear around the Middle Keys. We’re always amazed at the quantity and quality of our local pool of musical talent, which are consistently the best in the Keys. This week the spotlight is on the one and only Joe Mama, probably the best known entertainer in these parts. If you are a performer or band (or are a fan with a favorite to nominate), please let us know at (305) 7438243 or conch@keysy.com.

Name: Joe Mama (a.k.a. Joseph Rickard)

Musical style: “Folky”, “Old

Timey”, Blues

Been performing for: 43 years

Plays: Guitar, Banjo, Fiddle, Mandolin

Lived in the Keys for: 9 years

Originally from: Deposit, New York (in the foothills of the Catskills)

Currently performing at: Dockside, Thursdays, 6 – 9; Burdines, Fridays, 5:30 – 9:30.

Songs written: Main Street, Rosgo, Love Abaco, Blue Eyed Boy, It’s Thursday Night

Favorite coversongs: All of those I sing!

CDs produced: Wings Without the Chicken, Olde Blue Eyed Boys, America’s Children

Most influenced by: The Band, John Prine, Tom Paxton, Fred Neil, Amazing Rhythm Aces, Pete and Mike Seeger, Woody Guthrie, Hank Williams Sr., Leon Redbone, Doc Watson

Played with: Tommy Jeral, Kyle Kreed, Pete Seeger, John Prine, Arlo Guthrie, Fred Neil, Leon Redbone

Played at: Folk life festival in Washington, DC; Cellar Door, El Mucombo, Edgertons, Mariposa, Café Lena, Village Gate, Palisades Park, Café Wha. Locally: Dockside, Burdine’s, Capt. Tony’s, Coconuts, Key Deer BBQ, Jo-Jos, Hurricane, Quay Tiki Bar, Driftwood Lounge, Overseas Lounge, Banana Bay Tiki Hut, Shuckers, Fishmongers.

“Day Job”: Owns and operates MamaJoe’s Cycles and Stuff

Musical ambitions: “To keep on having fun with music; making

people think and smile. I love to see people enjoying music, so I’m more of an entertainer than a musician.”

Hobbies: Native American lore, motorcycle riding, cooking

Can be found at: (305) 7436600 or mjjoemama@aol.com

Monday Night Football Mania Starts

Early in Marathon

by: Dick Conklin

The 2003 National Football League season is underway, with most of the games played on Sunday afternoons in stadiums around the country. But the most-watched game of the week is ABC-TV’s Monday Night Football. Before the teams take the field, local football fans can tune in – and some will participate live – via a radio pre-game show designed to get their football juices flowing. Again this year, Porky’s Bayside BBQ Restaurant is the venue of WFFG’s (1300 AM) Monday Night Mayhem program.

The show this season features radio hosts Cal Sutphin and Jeff Dyke, who have prepared an assortment of wacky games, football facts, trivia questions and expert commentary for the enthusiastic crowd. The Monday night cheerleader squad, a popular feature of last season’s show, is back. While the program, which runs from 7 to 9 pm, pays special attention to the upcoming Monday night game (which follows on WPLG, channel 10 at 9 pm) and Sunday’s Dolphins game, no NFLteam, player, or fan is safe from the show’s zany humor. Audience participation

events include a trivia contest and a Bucket of Cash drawing.

Hosting the live audience are Porky’s Bayside owners Barbara and Johnny Maddox, who are offering Monday night menu specials such as rib eye steak and the ever-popular Beer Butt Chicken, a tasty bird steamed in beer and roasted to a golden brown on the restaurant’s formidable grill. In addition to Porky’s Bayside (at MM 47.5 in Marathon), other sponsors of the show include Overseas Lounge and Liquors, Lucky’s Custom Cycles, Driftwood Marina and Storage, PropTec, and Oasis Hydraulic and Electric.

dish featured at the Monday night football pre-game show at Porky’s Bayside. The program airs on WFFG, AM 1300, from 7 – 9 pm Mondays.

Monday Night Madness History

WFFG’s Cal Sutphin discusses football facts with guests Brannon Riggs and Leon Bourcier during last week’s program

The Players: Stan Haines (a.k.a. The Quarterback) is the Business Development Officer for Marine Bank of the Florida Keys and owner of Collectors Corner, a Marathon-based trophy shop and sports memorabilia firm. He has been the Monday Morning Quarterback on several Keys radio stations providing football news and analysis including weekly predictions on important games. Several years ago, he picked 16 out of 17 Monday night games against the spread while contributing to John Bartus’“Good Morning Marathon” radio show. [And he’s modest, too!JB]

Haines’idea of a 2-hour live Monday night pre-game radio show proved to be a popular idea especially when he added his friend and co-worker, Josh Mothner. Their chemistry, humor, and spontaneity make them an entertaining on often irreverent team.

Monday night and maybe YOU can tryout for the squad. You never know . . . .

The Live Audience

Visitors from around the country face off weekly with The Quarterback and The King sharing their opinion and, if they dare, disagreeing with the Monday Nite Madness experts. “People are passionate about their favorite team,” commented Josh, “some can really get excited if you are critical of their boys.”

“We are really lucky to be doing a football show here in the Florida Keys,” says Haines. “Everyone is from somewhere else so you have fans for nearly every franchise in the league.”

This delicacy, steamed and grilled to a golden brown in aromatic beer vapors, is known as Beer Butt Chicken, a special

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Josh Mothner (a.k.a. The King) is a Commercial Lending Officer for Marine Bank of the Florida Keys with experience in real estate and the bar and restaurant business. He has always loved sports and felt he would like to try his hand as a radio talk show host. When approached by his friend, Stan, to co-host Monday Nite Madness, he jumped at the opportunity. The popularity of this 2-hour football show caused the two to start a Friday night happy hour gig live from the Sunset Tiki Bar at Banana Bay where they have picked up the moniker “Weapons of Mass Discussion.” Josh has also started a daily real estate show that enjoys unprecedented recognition.

The Cheerleaders

Football without Cheerleaders? Never! And that holds true at Monday Nite Madness. Family members, friends, and a few “walk-ons” formed the Monday Nite Madness Cheerleaders and have proven to be a most entertaining part of the show. Squad Captain and author of the Official Cheer Book, Josh’s better half, Janine a.k.a. Babette, comes up with many clever and timely cheers that always please the crowd.

Would you like to be a Monday Nite Madness Cheerleader? Come on out on a

“We devote half the show to audience interaction, contests, and trivia so the diverse group of fans really makes it interesting” says Mothner. “It’s amazing how knowledgeable the fans are about the game,” quips The Quarterback. “Sometimes we’ll ask really tough questions and three or four members of the audience get the answer immediately.”

This year, The Quarterdeck (host location for the show from October through Super Bowl Sunday) will be sponsoring a contest where two lucky people can win a trip to the Super Bowl in New Orleans. The only way to win is to be at the show in person.

The Listening Audience

While the live audience gets to play games and win prizes, the radio audience seems to tune in for the offbeat humor and the serious football talk provided by the hosts of the show. “We disagree on things often,” says Stan. “It’s not an act, we really do differ in opinion most of the time.” “We sure do! I’m not even sure I like this guy,” laughs Josh.

Many newcomers to the show pull in off the highway while listening to the antics of the hosts and the audience. Urged to beep if you can’t stop in, many drivers go past the location while honking their horn in recognition of Monday Nite Madness.

Toys forTots Donation

Leads to Arrest (!)

continued on page 29

KING’S CROSSWORD Beware...Those “Sneaky” Teens

Parents, don't get taken in. Arecent poll of American teens purportedly found: "Hanging out with parents is cool."

Right.

When you were a teen, did you think it was cool to hang out with your parents?

You don't remember?

My point exactly.

Oh, I know what you're thinking: "But it's different nowadays. I'm much cooler than my parents."

Hah!

Parents have thought this from the beginning of recorded time, even before television.

Did you know that one of the earliest cave paintings, found in the south of France, depicts a "groovy" cave dad modeling what he thinks are the coolest sabertoothed-tiger-skin boxers, while behind his back cave teens are laughing their heads off at him?

It's true!

OK, it's not true, but imagine how perfectly it would illustrate my point if it were.

But, you ask (I know you like a book), what would teens have to gain by pretending to enjoy hanging out with the parents?

Here's the harsh truth. They want us to become complacent so that they can implement their ultimate plan -- which is to Take Over the World.

Yes, you read it here first, folks. Today's teens are bent on nothing

less than World Domination, the result being a Presidential Administration where all the senior officials -- including the Secretary of Defense -- sport eyebrow and bellybutton rings and a Supreme Court where the justices dispense with robes and show off their bare midriffs!

It's already happening, but first an important digression.

Today's fashions have taken a terrible toll on National Geographic, the magazine whose stock in trade for years has been photos of primitive tribes subjecting themselves to all sorts of torture just to stay in fashion.

This month's issue features a story on a "mysterious tribe," complete with a cover photo showing a young man with all sorts of implements pierced into his nose, lips, eyes, etc.

The intent, obviously, is to shock the reader into a reaction something like, "Wow, how can those people subject themselves to such excruciating pain?"

Unfortunately for National Geographic, the 1950s ended some time ago.

The reaction of many parents, who can see far stranger get-ups at the local mall, would be, "I hope my daughter meets a nice young man like that."

And now back to my regularly scheduled rant.

You think eventual world

takeover by today's teens sounds unlikely?

Consider these shocking statistics recently uncovered by the Baby Boomers Think Tank.

Today's teens, they found, are between the ages of 12 and 20.

But what demographers -experts who study population trends -- have discovered is that in just two decades these same "kids" will be between 32 and 40!

It is further expected that many will go on to their 40s and 50s, the age of today's Boomers.

They will expect to take the Boomers' place in society, though they are fully aware that Boomers, with the help of facelifts and Botox, plan to cease aging and remain right where they are.

That's why they're being nice to us. They want us to let our guard down.

Don't let them do it!

To paraphrase a slogan from our earlier days, "Don't trust anyone under 20!"

Soap Updates

(PHOTO: Crystal Chappell is "Olivia" on "Guiding Light"

ALLMYCHILDREN

As Kendall promised Bianca that Michael will never hurt her again, Erica overheard an angry Bianca tell Kendall she's pregnant as a result of being raped by Michael. Mia, Simone and Liza were stunned when Greenlee embraced her friend Kendall and suggested Fusion merge with Enchantment with Greenlee in charge. Mary admitted to Greenlee that she had lied about Jack always knowing that he was her (Greenlee's) father. Ryan asked Edmund for help in finding Michael. Wait to See: Kendall bursts Greenlee's bubble. Adam returns.

AS THE WORLD TURNS

Susan decided she had to confront Rick about the situation they were in. Rosanna learned of Craig's betrayal. Barbara told Jennifer about Paul's scheme. Katie and Mike become separated. Wait to See: Katie grapples with her feelings for Mike. Rose is Paul's target. Jennifer decides to get her man.

THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL

Nick tried to hide his disappointment when he realized Brooke was back with Ridge. Joe, Becky's father, told Amber he'll make sure Deacon doesn't get his hands on little Eric. Oscar was shot while he was on the phone with Massimo asking for help with his casino. Later, Bridget tended to Oscar in the hospital and was attracted to him. Acting on Sally's warning, Stephanie broke up the press conference for the launch of Logan Designs just as Ridge was about to propose to Brooke. Wait to See: Oscar makes a curious request.

DAYS OFOUR LIVES

Jennifer and Lexie were upset when Jack and Abe drew up their wills. Later, Abe met with a mysterious figure who told him "he's back," and saw the name -- Stefano -- scrawled on the wall. Abe later arranged for Lexie to get survivor benefits. Abe then reviewed the videotapes of the wedding and real-

ized he could now identify Colin arguing with Nicole. Jack found another link between Nicole and Colin. Rex swore to Mimi that he didn't attack Bo and Hope. Wait to See: Rex faces a moment of truth.

GENERALHOSPITAL

Ric was arrested after Elizabeth claimed his car knocked her down, but Sonny suspected Faith was the culprit. Nikolas was pained to see Emily and Zander kissing. Faith blackmailed Dillon into giving her an alibi for the time when Elizabeth was struck down. Meanwhile, Elizabeth struggled with the news that she may never regain her sight. Acting on Stefan's orders, Cindy arrived at the Quartermaine mansion bruised and disheveled, and claimed Ned raped her. Wait to See: Alcazar's "prediction" about Carly could come true.

GUIDING LIGHT

Olivia was thrilled by Cassie's surprise. Eden planted seeds of doubt in Harley's mind. Reva was struck with a terrible premonition. Christopher found Lizzie difficult to deal with. Beth was enchanted by Jeffrey's seductive game. Wait to See: Shayne is upset by Marina's decision. Eden is angry about Gus' questions. Olivia makes a disheartening discovery.

ONE LIFE TO LIVE

Dorian scammed David over the necklace, then got him to agree to help her break up Kelly and Kevin's marriage, hoping it would keep Kelly from risking her life by getting pregnant. Walker and his double, Flynn, discussed their deal in which Walker would assume Flynn's identity. Furious that the judge awarded Jamie to Antonio, Keri decided to flee with the baby. Larry told Max and Gabrielle that Al would need a liver transplant to survive. Cristian and Asa began their plan to discredit Dawes. Wait to See: Antonio looks guilty of murder.

PASSIONS

Aloving Tabitha told her baby daughter Endora about Timmy. Mrs. Wallace shook everyone up at Beth's baby

shower when she blurted out that Sheridan and her baby will die. Later, Luis, Eve and the others were told that the baby sounds they heard were coming from Precious. Meanwhile, Antonio finally realized Sheridan had been kidnapped. Theresa and Fox shared a passionate kiss to make Ethan jealous. Wait to See: Beth decides it's time for her to "deliver" her baby.

PORTCHARLES

Jack realized he couldn't stop being drawn to Livvie. Later, after getting his ring back from Livvie, Caleb told her their relationship was over. Ian injected himself with the serum and attacked Kevin, who defended himself by throwing hot coffee at him. Rafe was puzzled by Alison's horrified reaction when he brought her to the barn. Alison later ran to Caleb and begged him to undo what had happened between them. Wait to See: Alison gets devastating news. Jamal tracks down Imani.

THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS

Adistraught Ashley learned her baby son was stillborn. Dru questioned Damon's loyalty to Jabot and asked if the rumors about him and Victoria were true. Nikki told Victor the Abbotts blamed him for Ashley's accident. After Phyllis refused to quit working at Newman and come to Jabot, a disgusted Jack threw her out and then called Diane about her offer to bail out Jabot's debt. Wait to See: Sharon faces a crucial moment with Cassie.

Quarterback

Continued from page 17

enough running back combo to warrant nicknames--like Butch and Sundance or Mr. Inside and Mr. Outside. LaDanian and Lorenzo just doesn’t sound tough enough. Think of a good name for these two and e-mail me – if we use it I’ll give you a prize.

Browns at Ravens: The Browns are supposed to be able to score. The Baltimore defense better get more Ravenous. This could be a very boring contest.

Texans at Saints: Houston can’t be as good as Miami made them look and New Orleans can’t be as bad as they looked in Seattle.

Bears at Vikings: The Bears provide a good argument for de-franchising teams that stink. Kordell Stewart is still bad in a new town. How long before the Monsters of the Midway turn on him in the locker room too? The Vikes are frightening with a defense.

Bengals at Raiders: Oakland should be a little upset with themselves after losing soundly to the Titans. Here Kitty, Kitty . . . .

Seahawks at Cardinals: The worst uniforms in the league against one of the worst teams. Emmitt, this must be killing you.Monday Night –Cowboys at Giants:The Tuna will improve the Cowboys but not in time to prevent a loss to a fine team. Tiki is way underrated. To enjoy your Monday night and get a complete wrap up of the weekend’s football, come out to Monday Nite Madness at Jo Jo’s in Grassy Key where Josh and I will be broadcasting live on PIK’n 102.5 FM. Lots of prizes and fun from 7 p.m. to 9 p.m. If you can’t be there, tune

Dolphins at Jets: You didn’t think I forgot this one, did you? New York holds a series edge at 38-36-1 over Miami including 9 of the last 10. The Fish, coming off an uninspired performance against the Texans last week, really need this game. The stage is set for the Dolphins with Pennington out and a slow, rusty Vinny in. The Jets also lost a few key players to free agency. The Miami defense must perform and Coach Wannstedt needs to remember that Ricky Williams was the league leader in rushing last year. So Dave, give Ricky the ball! Alot! Please!

To the Bandwagon Jumpers: One week does not a season make—0 & 3 in September, and I’ll jump with you.

And By the Way:

ESPN’s “Playmakers” has not impressed me so far. Don’t we get enough bad news about our heroes without making it up? Stick with what you do best ESPN.

Oklahoma will not win the National title (they will lose when they shouldn’t). Neither will Ohio State (way too many off-the-field problems). Miami . . . the door is open.

Congratulations, Best Wishes, and Thank You to John Bartus, Ed Frost, and the Staff of the Marathon Weekly. You have guts and vision. Sports guys like guts and vision. Good luck.

Stan Haines (a.k.a. The Quarterback) is an officer at the Marine Bank of the Florida Keys, Owner of Collector’s Corner (Marathon’s premier trophy shop), and is heard throughout the Keys on numerous radio shows. Comments, questions, and criticism should be e-mailed to stanhaines27@hotmail.com.

Our Precious Pets

Dog Can’t Stop Pigging Out!

Q: My golden retriever, Lacy, eats everything in sight! I have to monitorher food intake carefully, feed hersmalleramounts twice a day and keep heraway from people foods, which she will gobble up whole. My question is, what risks could she face if she gets herway and eats a tremendous amount of food at once? It's like she can't stop eating. -- Georgia S., Baltimore

A: Many dogs have trouble controlling their appetites. After all, food is food, and dogs are opportunistic. Some will eat whatever's available, no matter what it is, and they usually won't share it. Animal behavior experts generally believe that this is a trait held over from their pre-domesticated days, when meals were tough to get.

The obvious risk of overeating -- obesity and related disorders -- is something you're dealing with admirably by monitoring her daily food intake. However, if Lacy should get past you and go

e a r D i a n e Charity Calendar

SEPTEMBER 2003 EVENTS

"whole hog" -- for example, breaking into the dog food bag or raiding the hamburger stack at a barbecue -- she risks developing bloat or pancreatitis, both serious conditions.

In bloat (gastric dilatation), the stomach of an overeating dog swells up with gas, fluid, or both. She may have dry heaves along with the distended abdomen, attempting to vomit with little or no success. She may also act confused and weak.

Acute pancreatitis (inflammation of the pancreas) can affect dogs that eat high-fat diets or sneak (or are fed) greasy people food. Aswollen abdomen may be one symptom, along with pain in the abdomen, loss of appetite, vomiting, diarrhea or a yellow, greasy stool. The dog may adopt a hunched-up posture and appear depressed.

If Lacy does pig out, either on kibble or people food, watch her closely for any of the above symptoms. Bloat and pancreatitis are serious, and in untreated cases can be fatal. Contact the veterinarian immediately if symptoms appear.

DEAR DIANE:

Six months ago, I met "Roscoe" in an Internet chat room for singles. We began a conversation and found out that we had many things in common. Roscoe was thoughtful, considerate and interested in what I had to say about many issues.

After about a month we exchanged e-mails with photographs of each other and our phone numbers. Our Internet relationship became a telephone relationship -- and the more we spoke, the more in love with Roscoe I became.

Three months ago, Roscoe and I had our first date in the real world. He was charming, handsome, took me out for my favorite food and dancing. He was a gentleman and paid for everything. I was swept away. Afew weeks later, he moved in with me.

That's when Roscoe changed. Now, he doesn't seem to have any money for anything. I have had to make his car and creditcard payments and pay for any entertainment we share -- on top of paying my regular bills and the extra expenses incurred from having another person in my home (food, electricity, water, etc.).

I used to have a substantial savings account -- a nest egg for my retirement or for a rainy day. That account is quickly becoming drained. I have asked Roscoe to get a job. He says he's tried, but the job market is tough right now.

I love him very much, but I'm beginning to suspect that Roscoe may be taking advantage of me. Your thoughts?

-- GOING BROKE IN GALVESTON

DEAR GALVESTON:

Roscoe is a bum. Period. The minute your nest egg runs out, he'll be running out on YOU. Trust me. I've seen this happen to women more times than you've had hot dinners. Have Roscoe sign an agreement saying he'll pay back the money you've spent supporting him. Keep all receipts. After he's signed the paper, kick his butt to the curb and take him to court.

SEPTEMBER 2003

14 - Wild Bird Hospital

Bird Bash '03 Tropical Breeze Cafe

19-21 - FLKeys Poker Run

25 - 44th Annual Marathon

International Bonefish

Tournament Registration

25 - Fishermen's Hospital

Lunch and Learn with Dr.

Greg Pape

26-28 - 44th Annual

Marathon International

Bonefish Tournament

30 - Marathon and Lower

Keys Association of Realtors

OCTOBER 2003

3-4 - Florida Keys Birding and Wildlife Festival at Crane Point Hammock

12 - Grace Jones

Community Center Poker Run

17-18 - Allotta Music Nite, Marathon Community Theater

26 - Daylight Saving Time

Ends

30 - Fishermen's Hospital

Lunch and Learn with Dr. John Verghese

31 - Crane Point Haunted Hammock 6:00-8:30 p.m.

NOVEMBER 2003

4 - Election Day

8 - Monroe County

Sheriff's Department "Toys For Tots" Beauty Pageant

11 - Veterans Day

15-16 - Rain Forest Plant

Sale at Crane Point Hammock 8am to 5pm

20 - Fishermen's Hospital

Lunch and Learn (speaker to be announced)

22 - Relay for Life Flea

Market and Garage Sale

27 Thanksgiving

DECEMBER 2003

5 - Marathon Garden Club

Christmas Tree Cocktail Party and Buffet

6 - Habitat for Humanity

Gala at D'Asign Source

7 - Fishermen's Hospital

Annual Christmas Tree

Lighting

13 - Marathon Community

Theater Free Holiday Concert

13 - Marathon/Boot Key Boat Parade

14 - Key Colony Beach Boat Parade

JANUARY2004

17 - Art Under the Oaks San Pablo Women's Guild

29 - Fishermen's Lunch and Learn (speaker tba)

31 - Domestic Abuse Shelter 7 Mile Paws for a Cause

FEBRUARY2004

Re/Max Keys to the Key Miracle Children's Network Dinner (date tba)

7-8 - Marathon Garden Club Judged Flower Arranging Show

7-8 - Pigeon Key Arts Festival

26 - Fishermen's Hospital

Lunch and Learn (speaker to be announced)

MARCH 2004

6 - Marathon Garden Club House Tour

7 - Zonta Rubber Ducky Races at Key Colony Beach

7 - Key Colony Beach

Days

11 - Fishermen's Lunch and Learn (speaker tba)

13 - Florida Keys

Children's Shelter Chrissy Puto Benefit

19-20 - American Cancer Society Middle Keys Relay for Life

27-28 - Seafood Festival

APRIL2004

3 - Coldwell Banker Schmitt Charity Foundation Habitat for Humanity

Western Party

4 - Daylight Saving Time

Begins

15 - Fishermen's Hospital

Lunch and Learn (speaker tba)

17 - Red Cross Casino Night (date not certain)

24 - 23rd Annual 7 Mile Bridge Run

The Florida Keys Horoscope

Your Birthday This Week: Woo-hoo! Party on! Your birthday coincides with the beginning of what Keys locals call “the off-season.” This means that none of your friends has enough money to buy you the gifts you deserve, much less throw you the killer party you had hoped for. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t celebrate. Luckily, you live in a quaint little drinking village with a slight fishing problem, and both have been known to be fine birthday activities. Fill a cooler, commandeer a boat, and set sail for a birthday adventure. Be sure, however, to take along a designated boater in anticipation of your becoming incapacitated.

Aries (March 21-April 19): Ram forward with new ideas and energy this week! Those born under this sign are never sheepish about their intentions – but they often pass by opportunities that people born under the slower signs don’t miss. Catch of the week: lobster (use tickle sticks, gloves, and make sure to have your measuring gage). Avoid the temptation to get more than the legal limit –the FWC officer is waiting, citation book in hand.

Taurus (April 20-May 20): Don’t let the pathetic state of the economy get you down this week. The bullish Taurus is usually the one who buys the 48’boat with three 250HPoutboards when everyone else’s businesses are tanking. Speaking of which, don’t forget to fill those tanks – three 250HPoutboards use a lot of gas! Catch of the week: wahoo. Avoid the temptation to troll too fast just because you can.

Gemini (May 21-June 21):

The refined sensibilities of many of those born under the sign of the Twins are easily offended at the mere thought of even baiting a hook (forget actually cleaning the fish). The closest that many Gemini get to actual fish is an aquarium, or perhaps the fish market. The adventurous Gemini, however, is an avid fisherman who captains a spotlessly clean vessel. As such, we recommend reservations at a seafood restaurant as your catch of the week. Avoid the toothy, smelly houndfish at all costs.

Cancer (June 22-July 22):

Those born under the sign of

the crab just can’t wait for the start of stone crab season. Lobster is such a poor substitute. This week, claw your way to the top of the heap. You’ll realize that you’re sitting on top of a heap, but dang it, it’s your heap! And after all, that’s what really matters. As Milton said, “Better to rule in Hell than to serve in Heaven,” right? Cancer’s catch of the week: Dungeness crab. So you have to take a little trip out west. Big deal. Just grab the butter and suck it up.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22): What can we say about Leos that they already haven’t said about themselves? Seriously now, the hubris and ego that accompany those born under this sign will come in handy, as the stars call for a humbling experience this week for many Leos. It could be as simple as an embarrassing bodily-function noise in a public place, or as complex as modeling the latest in orange jumpsuits at the county lockup. Catch of the week: kingfish (what else?). Good luck trying to find one around here this time of year.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): As we enter the dreaded off-season, the normally moral and upright Virgo can be observed more frequently in our local watering holes. But don’t be depressed about the potential lack of income – use your spare time to concentrate on finding new income streams and potential sources of revenue. Anew job outside of the tourist industry, perhaps? Catch of the week: grunt (goes well with grits).

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23): This sign, symbolized by the scales, has a tendency to overindulge in the finer things. So what if you consider fried fish, French fries, and a cold beer to be the finer things? It’s all good. Unfortunately, it’s all around your midsection, too. Moderation and exercise are the keys to a healthy lifestyle… but then, it just wouldn’t be the Libra lifestyle, would it? Catch of the week: the all-you-can-eat fried dolphin special. Avoid filling up on coleslaw and fries.

Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 21): The symbol for this sign, the scorpion, is only partially like actual Scorpios. You won’t find the typical Scorpio hiding in dark damp places or under piles of debris. Scorpios are general-

ly sunny, fun-loving people. Honk ‘em off, however, and you will feel their sting. Scorpios should watch their backs this week… heck, every week! There’s always someone out there who doesn’t like scorpions. Catch of the week: Louisiana crawdads (you look so much alike!).

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Just because Sagittarians were born under the best sign doesn’t give them the right to parade about like ego-inflated fools. Luckily, most Sagittarians are humble, and keep their superiority a secret from the teeming masses. This week, Sagittarians need to keep their eyes on the prize – and that doesn’t mean gazing into the mirror! Stay focused on your goals, and you’re bound to achieve them. Catch of the week: you’re too busy to go fishing, remember?

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Don’t let them get your goat this week, Capricorns. You maintain solid footing on what others might see as shaky ground. Their perception of your reality may indeed be screwy – but just because you may be paranoid doesn’t mean that everyone really isn’t out to get you. Whatever. Walk on this week with the certainty that it, like all other weeks past, shall surely come to an end. Catch of the week: weakfish (I couldn’t resist).

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb.18): People born under the water sign are avid snorkelers, divers, fishermen – people who love to be out on the water. In fact, it was all the Aquarians in town who called in sick during the two days of lobster miniseason (they’re the only locals who will brave the waters during those two days). Try to reign in your free spirits this week, because there really is work to be done. Catch of the week: whatever. You’re just happy to be out on the water.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20): Ahh… the sign of the fishes is always at home in the Keys. Unfortunately, they’re usually the guest of honor (read: main course) at countless dinners here in the islands. Pisces should look out this week. It’s not the time to act like a hammerhead; rather, follow the example of the moray eel and just keep yourself in hiding

Senior Shorts

Several years ago, one of my colleagues underwent an operation at the New York Eye and Ear Infirmary in New York City to help stabilize a serious glaucoma problem. The procedure was developed by the infirmary's Dr. Robert Ritch, considered one of the world's foremost authorities on glaucoma.

Recently, the British Journal of Ophthalmology reported on a study Dr. Ritch and his research team did on how wearing tight neckties might affect glaucoma. The trial involved 20 men who didn't have glaucoma and 20 who did. When the study began, all 40 wore open-neck shirts while undergoing an initial pressure test. They each then put on a tight necktie and were tested again three minutes after loosening their ties. The results: 60 percent of those with glaucoma and 70 percent of the healthy men showed increased eye pressure after wearing the tight neckties. Treating glaucoma involves reducing pressure in the eyes. Wearing tight neckties appears to do just the opposite, which can lead to serious complica-

tions in those who do have the disease. And while glaucoma may be caused by several factors, such as heredity or trauma, the test suggests that increasing pressure even in healthy eyes is risky, particularly if the healthy group unknowingly was predisposed to developing it. Also, wearing tight neckties could lead to a false diagnosis during an eye examination.

As baby boomers move into retirement age, we can expect more cases of glaucoma in the population. (Glaucoma occurs in all age groups, but is more prevalent in older folks.) It's important that people have an ophthalmologist do an overall eye examination, including a test for glaucoma, once a year -- more often if glaucoma runs in the family.

Don't be misled into thinking the "puff of air" tests offered by some non-medical eye care professionals are sufficient. They are not accurate. Only an ophthalmologist can offer precise as well as pain-free testing. Remember: Only early detection and early treatment can avoid blindness.

until it’s time to eat. Then just call delivery. No self-respecting moray goes out and gets his own food – they wait for it.

pizza and Chinese food).

Catch of the week: anchovies and shrimp (delivered with

The Elks Did it Again

We not only sent 42 local children to camp for a week at no charge, but now we have raised $1,109.00 for the Marathon High School Band ‘Marching Dolphins’ to go to the competition at Lely High School in Naples.

They will compete in the Trojan festival of bands. The winner of this competition wins a trophy and recognition for the high school. We wish them good luck

Madness continued from page 22

One Monday during the show in 2002, Stan held up an autographed Ricky Williams sports plaque and announced that he would auction it off and give the money to the Monroe County Sheriff’s Office “Toys for Tots” campaign. That plaque sold for $120 and the remainder of the show provided over $500 more due to the generosity of the live audience. All with no planning, it was purely spontaneous. The Quarterback and The King delivered the money to Captain Bob Peryam with the best wishes of the Monday Nite Madness crew and fans. Bob promised to stop by the show to say “thanks” on the air. The following Monday night, Captain Peryam did indeed come to the show complete with sirens, flashing lights, and a SWATteam. Peryam, Lt. Larry Kelley, and their officers handcuffed the shows stars, dressed them in prison garb and commandeered the microphones. Amock trial was held and The Quarterback and The King were convicted of impersonating radio stars and sentenced to complete the show while cuffed and do whatever

the Cheerleaders asked for the rest of the season. Good fun and great radio.

As a result of all this, Josh and Stan have adopted “Toys for Tots” as the official charity of Monday Nite Madness and will raise funds throughout the season to support it.

2003 Host Locations

The month of September will see Monday Nite Madness hosted by Jim and Allison at Jo Jo’s near the 60 mile marker on Grassy Key. Starting the first Monday in October, the Quarterdeck in Key Colony Beach operated by Dave and Mary will be home to The Quarterback and The King right on through Super Bowl

Sunday. Several special tailgate parties are currently being planned where the Monday Nite Madness crew will be appearing.

MONDAYNITE MADNESS SCHEDULE

Mondays, 7 p.m. to 9 p.m., beginning September 8, 2003, through the end of the season, including a Super Bowl party at the Quarterdeck.

Every Monday in September at Jo Jo’s in Grassy Key.

Every Monday October through the Super Bowl at the Quarterdeck in Key Colony Beach.

All shows broadcast live on PIK’n 102.5 FM.

Let’s Do Business

Clarity Mortgage LLC

A LICENSED MORTGAGE BROKERAGE BUSINESS

Dee Hall

LICENSED MORTGAGE BROKER

Mobile: (954) 292-1972

Office: (954) 989-2552 Fax: (954) 965-8883

Puzzles and Fun Stuff

FOREIGN INTRIGUE

Paying for Cash Advances

The next time you put your credit card into an ATM to get a cash advance, you are also making what some economists call a "most ill-advised loan," something you would never do if you didn't allow the convenience of the ATM to keep you from seeing what this transaction does to your personal financial picture. For example:

1. Credit-card cash advances carry higher interest charges than the usual credit-card transaction.

2. Cash advances have an upfront fee of from 2 percent to 4 percent of the advanced amount.

3. There is no grace period. Where interest typically kicks in after a payment is missed or when a partial payment is made on a regular transaction, with a cash advance, interest starts the moment the money leaves the ATM and lands in your hand.

4. If you try to pay down the higher-rate cash-advance balance (which would seem to be the prudent thing to do), you might be surprised to find out that you are required first to

pay down your balances on the regular, lower-interest transactions. (Or no interest at all if you pay off your entire bill when you get it.) In other words, if you owe $100 for a credit-card purchase made at XYZ store at the usual interest charge, you will have to pay down that balance before you can pay down the higher-interest cash-advance transaction. There has been some movement in Congress to lower cash-advance fees and interest rates and put them more in line with charges for regular card use. But the credit-card industry points out that so long as people are willing to pay extra for the convenience of getting cash when they want it, Congress shouldn't interfere. What do you think?

Unplugged In The Keys

By Steve Grasley

There was a long running MTVseries that was incredibly popular. Its simple premise was to give musicians a stage to get back to their roots and make music naturally, acoustically, without all the gizmos and gadgets we’ve gotten used to in music these days. Some of the most technologically dependent artists of the past 30 years played the show giving some of the best live performances of their careers. They got back to the way they first did music. They played… unplugged.

Typically, we think of technology as “less natural”. Generally, that’s a fair connotation. But the last 15-25 years has produced some amazing technology that goes against that grain. These technologies let us enjoy the modern comforts we have come to expect, yet to be more in tune with our environment while we do.

Some of these technologies simply reduce the power required for everyday things. That’s good. Some allow us to do things we couldn’t do before. That’s cool. Others are simply innovative ways to do things that we just hadn’t bothered to worry about because, well, there wasn’t a reason to change the way “it’s always been done”. That’s human. Until of course there is a real need to do it different. Here in the Keys, there are now real needs to do it different.

Keys Disease

By John Bartus

The Keys face some significant challenges if we want to continue to enjoy the nature that surrounds us and deal with the economic realities of being environmentally responsible to protect that nature. Waste treatment and the “$100 million dollar problem” is daily conversation among the citizens of Marathon. Many residents strive to build homes on vacant “buildable” lots they own. But the harsh realities of ROGO and living in an “area of critical concern” put up so many roadblocks it’s simply ridiculous to even try to plan that dream. It’s been 10 years since any real business improvements have been allowed in Marathon due to a moratorium on commercial square footage. One of the reasons cited for the moratorium is that the water pipe that brings all the potable water to the Keys is described as “max-ed out”. The electrical pipeline isn’t bursting with capacity either. Increases in demand for either service, whether driven by commercial or residential needs, will drop another monstrous capital requirement on top of the looming and incredible waste treatment bill. It’s mind numbing. But what can we do?

Back to that technology I mentioned earlier.

It’s possible today to build a home and some types of commercial facilities with no connection to infrastructure services and virtually no impact to

Continued on Page 29

Super Crossword Solution

Hello Keys Disease readers! I know it’s been a long time, but I’m back, and I’ll be a regular column appearing in this new Middle Keys real community newspaper – The Marathon Weekly. It’s great to be back, and it feels good to be (finally) writing this column again.

Readers unfamiliar with my former Keys Disease column will soon understand that I usually write about the humorous things that happen in our life here in Paradise. Keep an open mind and a light heart, and I’m sure we’ll get through this experience just fine!

For those of you who don’t know me past broadcasting, advertising, or politics, my first love and passion has always been music. I still perform 3-4 nights each week at local clubs and restaurants, and I still write and record my own music. I love to go listen to good live music, and I’ll even put up with massive crowds and cramped seating (much less the long drive) for a good concert.

Yes, live music is a wonderful thing. There is another kind of entertainment, however, that combines (semi-) live music with sometimes-unintentional comedy and the without-a-net danger of the circus. Yes, my friends, I’m talking about… karaoke!

Karaoke is Japanese for “empty orchestra.” It can be funny, scary, or on those rare

occasions when a talented singer takes the microphone, real good. It is very rarely, however, real good. Karaoke has risen to new heights these days, and that has not gone unnoticed by even the major TVnetworks. Many of you may now be in doubt of the words on this page – no way would network TVput on a karaoke show. For those doubters I have but two words: American Idol.

Yes, that phenomenon called American Idol (or the numerous spinoffs now happening) is really nothing more than glorified karaoke. Think about it –most of the contestants aren’t full-time or even part-time musicians, and I’d bet you tons o’cash that nearly all of them were at one time karaoke stars in their hometowns. It’s sort of like that movie Duets, where Huey Lewis and Gwyneth Paltrow played karaoke singers that traveled to different karaoke competitions. Yes, there are actual karaoke competitions.

I don’t know about you, but I just can’t fathom how someone can turn music into a competition. Music is very subjective, and the listener’s personal taste weighs heavy on his or her judgment as to what music is “better.” Take opera, for example: classically trained vocalists and musicians devote their lives to a genre that leaves me totally cold. I can’t say I’m a huge hip-hop fan, either. Different ends of the cultural

King s Crossword Solution

spectrum – neither of which speaks to my soul. Does that mean that other genres of music are better? No – it’s simply a matter of personal taste.

If there were, however, a “genre” of entertainment that perhaps could be judged on any sort of “merit,” it might just be karaoke. Let’s face it, we’ve all heard bad karaoke singers. Whether it be the group of guys who are imitating the Top Gun pilots singing “You’ve Lost That Lovin’Feeling,” or the actual woman I heard belting out Cher’s hit song “Half Breed” at the top of her lungs, with spirit and energy and feeling and with absolutely no sense of melody, pitch, or key whatsoever.

Believe it or not, there are “karaoke cultists” who actually believe that bars give karaoke a bad name (not bad singers). This is an actual quote from a the website www.karaokeforum.com:

“Small bars where people go to get drunk, move a day closer to death with their cancer sticks and make trouble for singers. I'm not talking about all bars. There are good ones that have enough space and class and serve food and there are holes in the wall which give karaoke a bad name. It may mean good business. But smoke and drink are still poisons that kill us all in slow motion. And I wanna live long enough to see the Red Sox win without having to worry about risking my health for a karaoke song.” Maybe if it weren’t for certain karaoke singers, they wouldn’t need to drink.

Luckily for all aspiring singers, there are a few different karaoke hosts that set up their operations, complete with thousands of songs and the requisite video monitors, at various local watering holes throughout the Keys. Grab the microphone (and beverage of choice) and belt out the hits! Just make sure Simon isn’t lurking too close nearby.

John Bartus is a Councilman and the former Mayor of the City of Marathon, a principal in It’s About Time Advertising Agency, and a performing musician/singer/songwriter in the Florida Keys. He has released a CD called Keys Disease featuring 12 original songs (www.cdbaby.com/bartus). E-mail John at johnbartus@keysadvertising.com, and check out www.johnbartus.com.

the environment. There doesn’t need to be a connection to the power grid. There doesn’t need to be a connection to the water system. And there doesn’t even need to be a connection to an external sewage system while still meeting the incredibly high treatment standards that truly need to be met in the Keys.

Well executed total “system design”, coupled with the affordable, mature, “alternative” technologies now available, and conscientious care by the user, can result in a home that needs little, if any, outside services. Such a home is dramatically cleaner from an environmental point of view than any mainstream home built today.

And although new construction is always easier and cheaper to fully apply alternative technologies, they can, and should be applied to existing homes and businesses. Unless a building is designed to be “naturally” air conditioned, an existing building is hard to completely “unplug” if air conditioning remains a requirement. Nonetheless, significant improvements can be made to basic electrical systems, lighting, water and waste water treatment that simply “make sense” environmentally, and at

the same time “make sense” financially.

I had the enjoyable opportunity to design and install the power and water systems for a beautiful 3,800 sq. ft., 3 bedroom, 3 bath island home recently completed on a remote island in the Bahamas. Ocean front, first class finish, and would fit right in anywhere one to two million dollar homes fit in the Middle Keys. It ain’t camping, that’s for sure! The difference between this home and its Keys counterparts however is that the Keys home has Turkey Point just up the way. No such luck in the remote areas of the Exumas. The solution: an elegant array of alternative technology that includes solar panels, wind generators, cisterns, water makers, backup generators and more. Really, really off-grid. But the owner says, “You wouldn’t know it! It’s just like living in Islamorada.”

I often hear, “This all makes sense. So why hasn’t there been more of this stuff done around here before?” In my opinion, there’s three reasons. First, the technologies haven’t become truly “available” until the last few years. Yet, they will likely remain too niche for mass distribution through chain retailers and for a time will remain not widely understood. So, you have to really want it to find it.

Second, there hasn’t been a lot of driving forces or incentives to widely apply these technologies. Power and water are generally available, reliable, and cheap. And the environment has not shown signs of being severely stressed until the last decade or so. Lastly, technically qualified people to help the average person successfully apply these technologies have just not been available to the general population. It’s not rocket science. But it’s not like plugging in a water heater either.

So, how does one get into the business of doing stuff like this? I’m not sure there’s a recipe. I got into it by following a natural interest in things technical to earn a Marquette University bachelor’s and a Syracuse University master’s degree in electrical engineering. Acouple more years of work towards a Wharton MBA and nearly 20 years of engineering and corporate management in the high tech worlds of Procter & Gamble, General Electric, and Allied Signal/Honeywell didn’t hurt. Just when it seemed the executive level was my destiny, I got the silver boot as part of merger and downsizing activity and was told “it’s time for you to find a new company to work for”. Sounded like a great excuse to take the severance

and go long distance cruising before purposely landing in The Keys. After years and years of dappling personally and professionally with all these technologies, I can’t think of anything more interesting to be doing in a place like Marathon.

There’s a lot of alternative technology out there. Like I said, most of it’s more complicated than plugging in a water heater and not widely understood. But the reasons to apply it are serious. Does waste water treatment really need to cost $100 million? Maybe not. Imagine using simple, natural, waste treatment methods that water and fertilize your landscape. In addition, these methods cost far less than any current, mainstream waste treatment approach and could significantly reduce the cost of the inevitable central treatment system. The next time your water heater dies, instead of simply replacing it with a bigger one and continuing to consume from and pay for power from the grid, why not install a solar water heater that pays for itself in less than 2 years and will easily last 25? That’s 23+ years of free hot water from the sun, year round. There’s more…

In the coming weeks I hope this column will give readers sufficient information to realize there are a lot of alternative

possibilities that make mainstream sense. Perhaps a little enlightenment will give people the incentive to take steps toward making alternative systems less alternative and help them get “Unplugged in the Keys.”

Collecting

By Larry Cox

Estate Jewelry

Q: I collect estate jewelry and often go to yard and garage sales. Can you suggest a concise price guide that would fit in my pocketbook? -- Carole, Miami, Fla.

A: The Warman's Antique Jewelry Field Guide by C. Jeanenne Bell (Krause, $12.95) measures a mere 4-by-5 inches. Despite its small size, it contains hundreds of up-to-date prices and includes some 400 photos and illustrations. The listings are arranged alphabetically, making it user-friendly. This handy guide also features dating tips, makers' marks and real vs. fake stones. It can be ordered through the toll-free number 1-888-457-2873, or Web site, www.krause.com. ***

Q: My husband has a Hopalong Cassidy wristwatch from the 1950s, packed in its original box with warranty card. I would like to know how much it might be worth. -Sharon, Wellsville, N.Y.

A: One of the best sources is "Hopalong Cassidy

Collectibles" by Joseph J. Caro (Cowboy Collector Publications, $42.50). This excellent book covers every aspect of collecting Hoppy memorabilia. You can order a copy by writing the publisher, P.O. Box 7486, Long Beach, CA90807. You might also want to contact Laura Bates, president of the Friends of Hopalong Cassidy Fan Club International, 6310 Friendship Drive, New Concord, OH 43762.

Q: I have about 15 German medals dating back to the 19th century. Who can I contact to find out current values? -Alfred, Prinsburg, Minn.

A: There are dozens of dealers who are experts of militaria. One of the more established dealers is Jeff Albiniak, Mystiques Militaria, c/o Arizona Antiques, 3728 E. Grant Road, Tucson, AZ 85716.

Larry Cox regrets that he is unable to answer all reader mail, but will answer questions of general interest in his column whenever possible.