SEPTEMBER 2020
THE SOUTH SHUSWAP SCOOP
25
Business Scoop
How do we manage our thoughts and feelings? By Paul Abra, Certified Executive Coach "There is no separation of mind and emotions; emotions, thinking, and learning are all linked." — Eric Jensen, Jensen Learning Workshops In her book, Executive Coaching with Backbone and Heart, Mary Beth O'Neill speaks of three key factors for leaders – business results, leader interpersonal behaviors, and team interactions. Working in these three areas requires both "intellectual rigor and emotional intelligence." Although many leaders are intelligent, quite a few lack the emotional intelligence to achieve extraordinary success. Emotional intelligence can be viewed as using information about one's own emotions and that of others to becoming more successful. There are basically four levels for leaders to successfully manage themselves and others. These are selfawareness, self-management, social awareness, and social skills. Self-Awareness is to know ourselves by understanding our feelings and emotions and observing patterns in our past behaviors. When we are more self-aware, we will be more mindful and able to avoid those past negative behaviors. How aware are we of our emotions? What negative patterns have we observed in the past? What are some of the triggers to our emotions? When we are able to recognize and in
turn label our own emotions, we can start to accept them. Self-management is when we develop strategies to both accept and manage our emotions. It is known that many negative barriers to achieving success are direct results of anger, anxiety, or unhappiness. How do we learn to accept our negative emotions? What can we do to use them in positive ways? How can we turn anger into compassion? As leaders, we need to have a good understanding of those with whom we work. Social Awareness is about recognizing the emotions of others and showing them understanding and empathy. In order to lead effectively, we must truly understand those who we are leading. How can we truly understand the emotions of those we lead? Social skills are the fourth level of emotional intelligence. Effective leadership is based on healthy relationships with colleagues and staff. Successful teams are developed and influenced by leaders who have trusted and empathic relationships with their team members ensuring their commitment to the success of the company or project. What have we learned about our team to ensure success? Emotional intelligence is something we need to incorporate into our culture in order to be more successful in our business and personal lives. "Emotional Intelligence is a way of
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recognizing, understanding, and choosing how we think, feel, and act. It shapes our interactions with others and our understanding of ourselves. It defines how and what we learn; it allows us to set priorities; it determines the majority of our daily actions. Research suggests it is responsible for as much as 80% of the "success" in our lives." — J. Freedman, specialist on emotional intelligence, an author, and the CEO of Six Seconds. Rob Marshall is the Executive Director of Community Futures Shuswap. For more small business tips and resources, visit beyourfuture.ca
