Hippo - February 2021

KILLIE HIPPO AN UNOFFICIAL KILLIE FANZINE FEBRUARY 2021

IN TOMMY WE TRUST

• HIPPO GOES WORLDWIDE (ISH) • THE RETURN OF MCCOOL • PREMIERSHIP OR CHAMPIONSHIP

HUGE THANKS TO OUR GENEROUS SPONSORS RAINBOW INK CO. MODWAY SCOTLAND URQUHART OPTICIANS TONY BONE LEGAL COLIN MCDONALD HOME MAINTENANCE BILLY BOWIE SPECIAL PROJECTS LTD I LOVE GIFTS BACK ONSIDE – MENTAL HEALTH CHARITY GMC CRIMINAL LAWYERS CRAIG TARA CARAVAN SALES PLEASE SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS CONTACT E-MAIL : Killiehippo@aol.com NO ARTICLES TO BE REPRODUCED WITHOUT PERMISSION BACK ISSUES 2–204 INCLUSIVE AVAILABLE All views expressed are those of the contributors

SHOOTING FROM THE HIPPO Greetings chums and welcome to the February issue of the Hippo even though it’s now March!! Since the TV appearance I’ve been out in Hollywood sorting out Hippo the Movie with Brad Pitt in the starring role and Ronald Koeman playing arch enemy MJ……well the resemblance is uncanny. You’ll see a wee article about our recent TV venture but trust me I hope it’s the last time my fat coupon scares kids into going back to school….Covid or not!

I remember a good few years ago that apart from watching Killie all I did was keep my eye on the likes of Hamilton, Falkirk, Dundee etc praying that they would drop points and we would prolong our proud record in the top division.

That all came to an end and for a wee while we were looking at top 6 football and maybe the odd venture to Europe…..well Wales to be specific. All those heady days are a distant memory and I’m finishing work early tomorrow to head home and watch Hamilton v St Johnstone on a dodgy internet stream in the hope the cup winners haven’t over indulged and can dig out a wee win that will keep the Lanarkshire mob below us…..how sad.

The old cliché about every game being a cup final has returned along with the sweaty palms, erratic mood swings and that paranoia about refs that comes with a relegation battle. We head to Dingwall this Saturday and although it may not be the “last chance saloon” a win for either club would go a long way in helping their survival chances. County have had a couple of great results since Yogi was appointed but they have still been disappointing in others so I don’t know what to expect on Saturday apart from a proper scrap.

Since the January issue we appointed Tommy Wright and it seems the appointment was well received by the Killie troops even though it was at least a couple of months too late. I hate to mention the “R” word but if we do go down it will be down to the delay in removing AD as manager. It should have happened around November and at least the new boss would have had a transfer window to try and improve our demoralized squad.

It didn’t take long for the new boss to recognize that we had three strikers who can’t score goals so we did well to bring in Kyle Lafferty. The big Irishman isn’t everyone’s cup of tea but if he can lead the way in securing our top league Place then he’ll do for me. It’s clear that TW was giving everyone a chance in the first few games but you can expect less experimenting now and more of a settled side. It goes without saying that scoring goals is a major problem and one that we need to solve starting this Saturday.

We’d like to send big wishes to Stuart Findlay as he heads to Philadelphia. The big man has been tremendous for us and he clearly loved his time at the Theatre of Pies……haste ye back Stuart Sandy

MCCOOL ON.....

FOOTBALL'S 'COVIDIOTS' (TRADEMARK SCOTTISH PRESS AND MEDIA) There's a real moral dilemma for me in all of this. You know, the head of steam that's been building up in recent times, which demonises young men and women meeting up together and having parties, like we all did, and makes them responsible for the demise of Scotland's national sport if they do so.

It pains me as a card carrying lockdown sceptic, and also just as a human being, that they're having this lumped onto their shoulders, yet at the same time, there's a part of me wishes they would just bite the bullet and stay in the house, because I DO know the inevitabilities for football in this country, if they continue to flout the rules.

The paragraph above illustrates this clash of opinions in my mind, which I'm well aware borders on hypocrisy, perfectly.

What I would say, in an attempt at making some articulate sense of it all, is that for all I have strong views on lockdown, and am therefore, willing to take calculated risks on the basis of that belief, I also have to admit through gritted teeth, that there are things I simply cannot do at the moment, regardless of my own opinions on the restrictions we've all been made subject to.

What's the point in me going to a birthday get together at someone's house, only for the police to barge in and hand out fines? As for when I'm on duty, any breaches there, whilst in uniform, are likely to bring bad press for the company I work for, which at the risk of stating the obvious, would not augur well for me at all.

Then again, though, in my mid forties, you would hope I'd have just about enough sense to make that subtle distinction, but what about when I was twenty four? Well, I'll leave it to anyone who knew me at the time answer that.

When I was a youngster, I worked in the Irvine branch of McDonald's and as I'm sure you can appreciate, it was constant parties and sojourns back to 'empties.' Yes, a stramash of buckfast and vodka was seen as a jolly good antidote to a day's burger flipping. One night, when we were indulging in a drunken card game that involved taking off a garment of clothing every time you lost a round, that chap at the door duly arrived. The one that you just somehow instinctively KNEW was the rozzers, resulting in myself and several others hiding half naked behind various kitchen appliances, while the house owner did a sterling job of convincing the officers that there was no party here, despite the neighbour's protestations to the contrary. Needless to say, we all had work the next day, and needless to say, none of us made it!

Another occasion saw me in Falkirk on a midweek, wetting the head of a baby, when I was rostered on the following morning. I mean, how in hell's fire was I hoping to get from Falkirk to Irvine for a shift, after a night on the batter? Matters certainly weren't helped either when one of the managers phoned my home and my old dear sang like a canary, but that's another story.

Thing is, I didn't lose my job for either of these, or other, similar discrepancies, because the bosses weren't daft. They knew they were dealing with young people and they knew that young people do daft things.

I didn't have an ounce of responsibility back then and had you thrown a pandemic into the mix, it would have made zero difference to that unmissable fact.

Therein lies the problem with covid and footballers. Telling men that age to steer clear of booze, parties and women, is like telling them not to breathe.

We're asking them to carry a burden some of them simply don't have the life skills or the maturity to cope with.

Wouldn't it be wonderful, then, if we could simply punish the guilty, as and when they're fingered, rather than punish everyone else into the bargain?

Sadly, there's as much chance of this sort of fairness as there is of a trip to Blackpool any time soon.

The lower leagues are already next door to finished, offered up as a sacrificial bargaining tool to keep the top two divisions running, in the wake of Celtic's infamous Dubai trip, and if I was managing Kilmarnock, Ross County, or Hamilton Accies,

I'd be more desperate for my team to win this week than ever before. Let's be perfectly clear about this, Sturgeon is keeping her powder dry at the moment, until we know more about these latest Rangers allegations, and if by this time next week, it emerges that they are anything more than allegations, I've no doubt whatsoever that the jumped up council clerk will close us down again, with a smirk on her horrible little face. She is no lover of football, and if you aren't already aware of that, you haven't being paying attention. This means relegation for one of these teams, and whole plethora of other car crashes.

So then, footballers, if we somehow get out the other side of this latest episode, could you PLEASE, if it's at all possible, find it in yourselves to hold your nose and do what you're told. Yes, it flies in the face of everything I've just written, never mind everything that I believe in, and yes, it's grossly unfair to put all of this on people so young, but it is the only chance we have of the game continuing and the rest of us having an escape from the current realities we face.

Know how important you are to so many and let this trying period make true men out of you.

McCool >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Hippo says – Thanks Martin for your forthright views on the hideous virus that is ruling our lives and destroying our football enjoyment at present. As I write this there is fresh hope that the lower leagues will restart shortly and that the Scottish Cup will eventually take place. If my creaking memory serves me right Killie are drawn away to either Peterhead or Stenhousemuir but we await further information on when the games will be played.

One point that McCool touches on is the behaviour of the Rangers players but as things stand it seems the government and football authorities are brushing their latest misdemeanour under the carpet. How the mindset has changed since Killie were hung drawn and quartered for sitting too close at a dinner table. The double standards being shown is jawdropping or maybe not as we should be used to one rule for the bigots and a totally different set of rules for the diddies.

I keep the faith that we’ll be the first team to win the Scottish Covid Cup!!

HIPPO GOES WORLDWIDE (ISH) You may have read elsewhere that we have just passed the 20 year mark in doing the fanzine. A truly amazing feat when you consider the editor is thicker than mince especially with technology….I spent three weeks on a training course learning how to work a calculator. The one and only reason we have lasted this long is due to the remarkable loyalty of fans and sponsors who have stood by us through thick and thin.

As we reached this unlikely milestone we were contacted by a BBC researcher who explained the Friday night football show A View from the Terrace was looking to do an article on fanzines and they wanted to do it all about the Hippo. I was expecting it would just have been a wee 60 seconds feature but in reality it turned out to be a great wee advert for fanzines everywhere…..even if the poor viewing public had to watch my chins wobbling for a good 5 minutes.

Thanks to everyone for all the positive feedback and no I don’t have a fetish for walking through deep puddles. It was a preference for the film maker Hannah and she had me marching through the puddle three times before we got it right. My bill for a brand new pair of Gazelles is winging its way to BBC headquarters but maybe they’ll just forget my licence fee for a year or two.

The most amazing thing of all was that Football Focus picked up on the feature and then ran it the following day for the whole world to see…..what a scary thought. They do say the camera adds 10lbs to you…..I’d like to clarify that they used 23 cameras for the fanzine feature!!

We have been contacted from people throughout the footballing world following the appearance including the guy who does “thenearpost” which focuses on fanzine culture. Here is a wee Q + A that we did to promote the Hippo on his website.

When did the Killie Hippo start?

The Killie Hippo started in 2001 if my progressively unreliable memory serves me right, I think the first issue came out at a Cup game v Partick Thistle around January 2001. The idea was to attempt one or two issues and see how it goes but it's a modern day miracle that we are still plodding away having churned out over 200 issues.

How did it come about?

I bought my first PC in 2000 and thought I needed something to justify its existence so made the somewhat strange decision to start a new fanzine. I was very lucky as the prior fanzines at Killie were done by guys sitting on typewriters having to work 100 times harder than me on a computer.

Tell us a bit about why you started it?

The main reason I decided to start it was Killie had no fanzines at that time. The two main fanzines previously were Killie Ken and Paper Roses, both excellent publications but the guys doing them had called it a day.

Motherwell had 4 (I think) fanzines at that time and it grated that we had none so I owe a debt of gratitude to the Motherwell fanzine guys.

Has interest decreased over the years? If so how do you combat that?

Social media etc There has been an amazingly loyal core of Killie fans who have supported the fanzine through thick and thin and they are the sole reason we are still going. Much like the football industry itself, fanzines would be nothing without the fans.

How many people involved producing it?

I'm solely responsible for editing and pulling it all together but we hugely rely on fans for providing articles. It's those fan articles along with interviews, stats and opinions that make the issues diverse and interesting....I hope!!

Best ground you've sold at?

Rugby Park of course, I've always said the best part of selling it is meeting the fans, having a chat and getting to hear all their views on anything Killie related. It's memorable having sold it outside Hampden at a couple of cup finals. I didn't sell it at our Euro adventure to Wales last year as I was too busy concentrating on standing up!!!

Funniest/maddest thing you've been involved with during Killie Hippo times?

We've been involved on loads of stuff simply because we produce a wee local magazine. The most surreal thing was watching Football Focus yesterday and seeing them do a feature on the Killie Hippo. The funniest thing was when I agreed to do a radio interview whilst travelling to the aforementioned trip to Wales. I had been on the beer from breakfast so trying to sound lucid when half cut on a train surrounded by Killie fans singing their hearts out was mental......thankfully I have no idea how it came to this day.

Plans for the future?

That's a relatively difficult question in the current climate as even the beautiful game is going to change after the pandemic. Since the virus landed here we have been doing an online issue each month.....free for everyone to read. I'm really not sure if we will just continue doing the online version or if we will revert back to hard copy as well.

Thanks to all the fans and sponsors who remain so loyal to the Hippo and please follow us on Twitter - @killiehippo or contact us killiehippo@aol.com. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> They say all publicity is good publicity but I’d much prefer to get back to lying low and moaning about luke warm pies and turnstiles that are way too narrow for fat blokes. Folk have asked about he future of the fanzine and the simple answer is we’ll continue as long as there is demand for it. We’ve still to decide whether the hard copy will return or we will just do the free online version……watch this space.

PREMIERSHIP OR CHAMPIONSHIP? It’s been a long time since we had to write an article like this though to be fair at one time it was as much an annual event as Xmas. Six pointers, every game is a cup final and if we lose this we are away are all cliches that have been locked away for a few years…..but they are back with a Covid inspired vengeance. In one sense I’m a bit stunned that we find ourselves in this position but on the other it is very simple……the club stuck by Alex dyer for way too long and the hesitancy in replacing him could cost us dear come May. In all honesty AD should never been given the gig in the first place having stated he didn’t want to be a manager before changing his stance following Angelo’s brief stint. His games in interim charge were a bit of a disaster so it came as a big shock to everyone when he was given the job on a permanent basis just a few days after a truly horrendous defeat in Paisley.

The reasons he was given the job by the board were probably two fold. He was a popular figure around the club and well liked by the players and he was the one man who knew SSC better than most and they were hoping he was the man to replicate that incredible spell for the club. The cold hard fact is there is no room for sentiment in football and if players are having any kind of influence over who the manager is then the club really is in trouble.

I’d like to think lessons have been learnt but we won’t know that until we see what decisions are made in the months and years ahead. The decision to appoint Tommy Wright, on the face of it, appears to be a good one. I really think it could be an exciting time if we are in he top division next season and TW has a chance to bring in his own players. I’m sure he will keep some of the current squad but the time looks right for a clear out…..just as long as our recruitment improves with who is brought in.

The hard part for TW is keeping us up with an ill balanced squad that has got into a losing habit who are bulging the net less frequently than the post Brexit Scottish fishermen.

So lets have a wee look at the runners and riders in this race to oblivion.

Apart from the finest club this country has ever produced we have battle hardened Accies, Yogi inspired County and we maybe can just throw Motherwell in there although their win at Easter Road last weekend could turn out to be a vital one that kicks them away from the mad bun fight at the bottom.

At the start of the season I’d have said our squad was far superior to our two rivals, and probably still is, but at this stage of the season it’s more about bottle than ability. I spout at the start of every season how I’d love to see Hamilton go down but you really have to admire their ability to fight and scratch their way to some unlikely wins that has seen them escape season after season.

They have been doing that again in recent months and by the time you read this they may well have jumped above us in the league. They are a team made up of players you haven’t really heard of mixed with some youngsters they have brought through but they all appear to have an appetite for a scrap to survive for another year.

Ross County have looked pretty poor for a lot of the season but you have to admire a club that sends out their manager to the cameras to announce he has just been bagged!! Kettlewell was punted and Yogi announced two days later……now there’s a club who knows what forward planning means. They have managed a couple of stunning wins at home to Aberdeen and Celtic and their ploughed field of a park will act as a great leveller for anyone making the long journey north.

Yogi has been around the block and is another who wont go down without a fight. We still have to play them twice so it may well be the outcome of those two games is bound to have a big influence on where the respective clubs finish in May. I won’t make any fate tempting predictions but I have faith that our new manager may just be the difference between survival and disaster. He had a fine record at St Johnstone and he gives the impression he won’t take any crap from players……no bad thing I’d say. It’s going to be a totally miserable and nerve wracking couple of months so stock up on the pampers and put your trust in Tommy!!

CATHY’S UPDATE Football Developments Since my last report we have welcomed Tommy Wright to the Club as our new Manager, following the departure of Alex Dyer, who we wish well for the future.

Tommy has brought in Paul Stephenson as his Assistant, with Andy Millen also departing. Paul has previous experience at Killie, and with Tommy having an excellent record in and knowledge of Scottish football, they will give us the leadership needed for the remaining matches.

The Manager has already had an impact within the Club, and met with the Board last week to discuss his plans for the future in terms of what is needed on the playing side. He is already working closely with James Fowler on this.

He thanked everyone at the Club for making him welcome and the Board and James for responding quickly to secure Kyle Lafferty. Prior to the manager’s arrival, loans were also secured for Zech Medley (Arsenal) and Brandon Pierrick (Crystal Palace), giving added depth to the squad.

It has been good to hear the Manager make reference to the supporters and his commitment to bring back football which will excite the fans. However, he has also been clear that the immediate task is to turn round recent poor results and pick up points.

Youth Academy

The SFA are still in discussions regarding the future shape and criteria for Youth Academies, which has meant some continuing uncertainty for us. With no match programme in place, some Academy staff remain on full furlough, with others on flexible furlough to allow continued contact with players. Academy staff have made it a priority to ensure players and parents have been kept actively involved in some capacity over the last couple of months, building on arrangements which have been in place in previous lockdowns.

The Academy has an activity diary with something for the players every weekday, whether in the form of fitness classes, Strava group tasks, Hudl skill tests or workshops on various things to do with their general Health and Well Being and Mental Health.

They have also had inputs on Show Racism the Red Card and the laws of the game. Five first team players have participated in Player Master Classes, which were descried as “brilliant!"

Academy director Paul McDonald has also arranged various online CPD sessions for Academy staff with clubs such as Ajax, Manchester City, Leicester and Panathinaikos.

Full-time Academy players have also recently started an additional online college course, in partnership with Ayrshire College, as a bolt on to the modern apprentice programme, to help upskill them even more during their time with the Academy.

The school programme is welcoming another six/seven new pupils in August this year from the U12s squad, who already have five currently attending the school. This will increase the number to around 30 players. The Academy was recently asked to present to the staff at Dundee FC, who have now successfully launched their own school programme.

Last, but not least, congratulations to Academy Director Paul McDonald who has completed his UEFA Pro Licence after two years of study.

Kilmarnock Community Sports Trust With lockdown restrictions continuing, KCST staff have also been on flexible furlough.

During February staff have recommenced the Hexagol activity to school hubs, where children of key workers and vulnerable children attend during the school day. This is done in line with strict Covid protocols, but with plans now in place for a phased return to school for some pupils, it is anticipated that requests will continue.

It is also planned to set up a new “Weigh to Go” programme with the NHS, as soon as restrictions allow.

Commercial and Finance

The wider environment for Scottish Football continues to be tough, with present lockdown measures and likely further restrictions making it unlikely that we will see any progress in the near future on fans returning to stadium.

As outlined in my previous report and in the ‘On Board In Person’ Q and A, the Club is developing options on future Season Passes, and the focus groups will take place when initial proposals are drafted. Discussions are taking place within the SPFL regarding future broadcasting and pay-per-view options.

Applications for the Scottish Government Loan scheme have now closed, and as indicated the Company Secretary Graeme Bryson has submitted an application on behalf of the Club.

I was involved in a number of discussions with SPFL regarding representations to Scottish Government on the current situation facing Scottish Football.

At this stage we have no further information on when Scottish Cup matches will be played.

Our own Commercial operations continue to go well, with the shop doing brisk business on shirts and other items.

All Blue Bricks ordered before end January are now in place. Anyone still wishing to order can do so via the shop website. A limited number of Champ 1965 and Retro 1985 shirts are still available.

The Killie Face masks have also sold well and at the end of the season a percentage of the

profit from these will be given to our partner charity Crosshouse Children’s Fund.

If anyone has any issues regarding shop or commercial operations generally, Gregg McEwan, Head of Marketing and Commercial Operations, is happy to hear directly from supporters. He can be emailed at greggmcewan@kilmarnockfc.co.uk. This may enable a quicker and more personalised resolution of issues than tagging the Club on social media platforms!

Another reminder also that the Killie Cares Fund (formerly Killie Lotto) helps raise funds for youth development at the Club and information on how to join is on the club website. .

Media and Communications As outlined earlier, it’s been a month of arrivals and exits at Rugby Park and the media team have been busy covering the start of a new era for the club following Tommy Wright’s appointment.

Killie fans got to hear from their new manager first when he sat down with Killie TV on day one of the job while you also got a look at his first training session.

As well as his pre- and post-match media commitments, Tommy has appeared on BBC’s Sportsound programme and given fans a glimpse of the man behind the manager by taking part in the Scottish Sun’s A to Z feature.

It was a busy deadline day with Zech Medley and Brandon Pierrick arriving on the final night of the window while the signing of Kyle Lafferty generated plenty of interest.

Stuart Findlay joined our Killie TV team for Tommy’s debut match against Motherwell while former players Cammy Bell, Tom Brown, Jim Clark, David MacKinnon and Billy Stark have also featured on coverage throughout February.

The first of our Killie Rituals series, telling supporters’ stories as they follow the club from home through the pandemic, was published and featured some lovely tales which reminds us exactly what this club means to us all.

A new episode of the We Are Killie podcast is planned for release in early March.

SFA Independent Report Final Independent Report into non-recent sexual abuse in Scottish football published The SFA has now published the final report which contains a raft of recommendations on how to improve safeguarding. Many of the recommendations are aimed at the wider football environment and a number of interim steps have already been taken to try to improve safeguarding.

KFC is reviewing our own policies and procedures in light of the report, to ensure that we are implementing best practice across the Club.

Inclusion and Diversity

At KFC we pride ourselves on being an inclusive community club, welcoming people irrespective of their backgrounds, race, gender identity or disabilities.

Following the racist abuse contained in a letter to former manager Alex Dyer, we were angry and disgusted to see a further racist comment aimed at him appear on social media.

This was reported to the police by Killie fans and I understand that the individual has been identified and reports made to Procurator Fiscal. We do not believe the person involved in this incident was a Kilmarnock FC supporter.

We are pleased to be continuing a positive relationship with Show Racism the Red Card, and our players ‘Taking the Knee’ before matches shows our support for Black Lives Matter campaign.

The Scottish FA, in partnership with LEAP Sports and Football v Homophobia Scotland, has launched the Football Unites; Football v Homophobia Scotland E-Learning course which can be accessed by anyone involved within Scottish Football and beyond.

The 2020 publication of the Scottish Football Supporters Survey showed less than half of fans surveyed feel Scottish football is an inclusive place for people of any sexual orientation.

The launch of the E-Learning module aims to combat this statistic and coincides with Football v Homophobia Month of Action which uses the month of February to promote positive action against discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity throughout football.

Scottish FA launches e-learning Homophobia course to educate and raise awareness Contacts I can be contacted in the usual ways: Email: cathyjamieson@kilmarnockfc.co.uk Facebook: Cathy Jamieson Twitter: @cathyjamieson Instagram: cathyjamiesonkillie Best wishes Cathy

ACHES + PAINS We were gutted to hear last month that Alan Mahood had left his role at the Theatre of Pies as Academy director. Alan had other challenges to move onto and among his other skills he is writing stuff for cfbfootball.com. Alan had more than his fair share of injuries during his career so he was delving into his own experiences when he wrote this piece:

Ice? Ice? Maybe You played. Team won. Your knees killing you but your minds already on next weeks game. It’s a biggy. Every game is. Need to be fit.

Cut a piece of tubigrip and put it in your toilet bag. Pop into the supermarket on the way home for 2 big bags of ice. Might as well pick up some beers while I’m in. Weekend sorted. In, shorts on, tubigrip in place, fill with ice, elevate…..and relax.

You go through the game in your head. Done ok. Nothing great. Hopefully done enough to keep my place. Need to get swelling down so I can train Monday. Can’t put any doubt in the managers mind or give him any reason to “rest” me even though it would make his life easier giving other boys game time.

Couple of pain killers before bed mixed with the alcohol will help me sleep and see how it feels in the morning…..

Welcome to the life of an injury hit pro who had a routine to enable them to not just train, but to help them get through it. If you only ever played when 100% fit you’d be lucky to play once a month.

You have 3 types of player. The 1st is the guy who’s legs hanging off and gets it bandaged so he can play. The 2nd is the one that plays with a niggle or two but won’t declare it. The last one is the player who gets sympathy pains if he sees somebody injured and no chance of playing unless hes feeling great and up for it.

I was the 2nd kind. Knew if I was in the team I had to train to play. No other way. I’m in. If manager drops me it’s his choice but I’m not giving him any encouragement. Although I did get dropped off the bench once at Dundee Utd away mid-week because I wasn’t tall enough but that’s another story.

One of the 1st things you’re told about when starting out is injuries. People warn you about them. Part and parcel. In fact older Pros take great delight in telling you about their’s,even showing you the scars like badges of honour. You think yeah yeah whatever,then…..pre season, 89, Whitehall Welfare away.

1st team played theirs, younger boys v reserves. Boy went high and caught my ankle and I limped off. I was advised to “stamp it’ to see if I could go back on? Looking back I’m not sure how that helped or would even help?

Ever? Anyway, 12 hours later I’m in Crosshouse hospital getting a plastercast and handed crutches… and so it begins.

When you’re full time and football’s your job, all you want to do is train all week and play on a Saturday. Simple? If only!

Going on a bad streak of losing games is an easier habit to get into than to get out of, but when you’re fit and playing you can at least try change things and turn it around. When youre injured you feel helpless. It’s always easier to play a game from the stand, what you’d do differently,what subs you’d make. When you’re supposed to be out there and can’t, it’s torture!

Then Monday comes and youre back in the dressing room. You’re all chatting and having a laugh, hearing stories from the weekend,what boys have been up to, good & bad. Then back of 10 the boys start getting their boots on and filter out in 2s and 3s to go training and your heart sinks as you watch them all leave.

You go see the physio, he assesses your injury, tells you to get your trainers on and go to the gym and get on the bike, he’ll be over in 10. In a selfish way you want somebody else to be injured too. Not that you wish ill health on anybody but having company is a massive help.

Your relationship with the physio is a big factor too. He knows it’s not easy but how close you are to full recovery will determine how hard he pushes you. If you’re going to be out long term he knows your mood will dip at some point and he has to manage you as a person as well as a player.

It was always amusing when you were in the treatment room and the physio told boys how long they’d be out for and boys would argue with him and take 2 weeks off the predicted rehab time. Granted this guy had been to Uni and had a Masters degree in his specialised subject but what did he really know? He was also a guy you had to trust.

If you had that Monday morning niggle did you confide in him with the confidence he wouldn’t tell the manager? Was it a risk as he might not feel comfortable not saying anything?

It’s great to have a good relationship with the physio, but if the two of you are going out for a pint and he’s your wee ones Godparent then maybe have to think you’ve been injured too many times for too long. Ideally the only time you ever see him is pre match where you exchange pleasantries and thats it.

Football is great. Make no mistake.When youre playing every week and winning games theres no better feeling. Playing and not winning is hard.

Being injured is a nightmare! Somedays you would go in, totally focused,eyes on the end goal, nothings holding me back. Other days were harder. Thats when you need to dig deep and remember the reasons you’re doing it.

Get yourself motivated,remembering the feeling of training everyday, playing on a Saturday. Enjoying the buzz of winning. Celebrating with the boys. Theres a lot of sweat, tears and toil to get back to fitness but when you do, there’s no better feeling.

The smell of the Deep Heat, the buzzer ringing in the dressing room from the ref just before 3, the boys all shouting getting fired up, the butterflies in your stomach, the look from the physio who knows how hard you’ve worked to get back, last out due to superstition, heading down the tunnel, here we go again…

Hippo says – I know Alan still suffers pain from his footballing injuries but I can guarantee you that he wouldn’t change a thing if you asked him about his football career…..especially when he was playing for his bellowed Killie.

I always think it’s good for clubs like Killie to fill the place with folk that have a connection to the club and a deep rooted love for it. Alan has that in spades so it’s a pity that he is no longer at the club although you can rest assured he will still be there as a fan when the turnstiles start clicking once again.

Everyone at the Hippo wishes Alan all the best for the future and who knows, he may be back in another role one of these days.

JOHNNY WHIT’S THE TEAM? (A TRIP DOWN MEMORY LANE WITH JOHN K) The Forfar story really began a season before at Palmerston Park; that's down Dumfries way!

A desperate last Saturday where every Killie fan knew that the impossible was not only possible, but expected. We had to win by 6 goals to not only beat Queen of the South, but stay up. That's where it started.

The No.10, a few beers, some for the bus , and Paper Roses washing over Langlands Street, we were aff.

The journey was like all the others. Songs, ribald comments and a hidden anxiety trying hard to be exposed. You know the one.

What happens if we lose?

Just after Cumnock I heard it. I was going to hear the same thing every game , home and away for the next FOREVER. “Johnny , whits the team?”

FFS. Oan the bus , doon Cumnock way and the Koob, thinks that ah know our line up.

The Queen's story ends here. We won by the required amount, celebrations were just starting and the Clyde score, 90+++++ minutes saw us away. Second Division look out , me and the Koob are coming.

Back in the No.10, haufs and hauf pints later me and him made a pact; drink and sadness fuelled.

Every game, home and away, even to places we couldnae spell. Stenhouse something et al.

The end of a shit summer and the truth dawned........first away Ayr. Me and the Koob, and Norman the Postman stood proud in the pits of abuse watching the uncivilised hoards celebrating our downfall.The sadness and pity consumed me before I heard these words, “Johnny whits the team?”

The whole season beckoned and soon me and the now famous Koob found Station Park, Forfar. Probably it had always been there?

The deal was one week I bought the pies and Bovril, next week the Koob was on the bell. Whits the team Johnny, and the game was on.

John Sludden scored, and half time loomed. My turn. Two Forfar brides please and two Bovril. His reaction was, and still is after all these years, priceless. “ That's no a pie”, ah said naw its a Forfar bride, thought I'd treat you.

The next statement still lives with me, and in the saddest of nights helps me really appreciate my pal, and remember, with a smile. “ Johnny, how the f*** do you know that this is a Forfar Bridie?”

All this after, Johnny whits the team. “Johnny we're going for a drink” and “Johnny, ah'll help you canvas”.

Simple retort was enough to get us both rolling about. “Koob, where the f*** are we?” Yes we went for a drink, and if my memory serves a 72 year old well we won 3...1.

Me and Hughie, aka the Koob, went everywhere; Glebe Park Brechin , Stark Park and other stories. Everywhere Man.

The night of the Station Park Massecree we were in the No.10 when the Koob asked those assembled at the bar what was the difference between a cul de sac and a deed end.

Shouting, exposed bias and he showed me after you start a “discussion” how to “listen.”

Johnny whits the team.............I'd give anything just to hear that again.

At any ground, anywhere.........Forfar preferred Although you've left the park, and your seat on the bus can never be filled.

I still miss you.

Hope you've found another Johnny to wind up.... and to ask... “ Johnny whits the team?”.

JOHNNY K >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Hippo says – huge thanks to my old chum Johnny K for a walk down memory lane into the lower divisions and for paying tribute to his old pal (s) no longer with us. All great Killie men and for all you younger dudes, treasure the memories whilst travelling to follow Killie and you may be writing them on a fanzine a couple of decades down the line.

For you younger dudes out there the Dumfries haunt that John is referring to is back in 1989 when Killie, despite winning 6 – 0 with 5 goals from the Good Lord Willie, were relegated to the bottom tier of Scottish football. It goes down in the history of the club as one of the most memorable days in recent history buy for all the wrong reasons.

When I look back on all the great days with Killie it does seem that the majority of highlights are away days…..maybe alcohol does play a minor part in all that. From Dumfries to Easter Road when we stayed up in our first year back in the Premier and rapidly followed by a memorable win at Ibrox in front of a huge Killie crowd……I could go on but please treasure all those great Killie away days, just like John does.

CULT HERO WILLIE WATTERS You probably already know we don’t need much of an excuse to talk about the Good Lord, here’s a wee internet tribute we found to him in a series that looked at cult heroes in the Scottish game: Usain Bolt won three gold medals at the 2010 Olympic games on a strict diet of chicken nuggets. His feats in the field of turning saturated fats into sporting achievement pale, however, in comparison to the exemplary efficiency with which Willie Watters performed the task.

Watters was a footballer who made no secret of his fondness for a pie – opposition supporters enjoyed vocalising opinions on the effects this had on his physique, so there would be no use his denying it. He also liked a good bucket when the opportunity arose, which was not infrequently.

Such qualities in a man have always guaranteed at least grudging respect from the patrons of Scotland’s lower divisions. But the fact that Watters was simultaneously, albeit sporadically, prolific in front of goal, made him an absolute legend at most, if not all, of the clubs he played for.

At Queen of the South and Alloa he disappointed but at Hamilton Accies, Stirling Albion and Kilmarnock and a host of other senior sides he perfected the art of standing about waiting for the ball to come to him, then scoring with it. A tubby striker in the Joe Harper mould, he professed that the secret to scoring goals was “to be fat and lazy and just hang around the box” but unlike Harper he was satisfied that in Division One, or maybe two in a bad year, he had found his level.

In his first season at Kilmarnock, 1988 – 1989, his five goals in a 6 – 0 win over Queen of the South on the last day of the season were not enough to prevent the Rugby Park club from dropping down to Division Two after an injury time penalty secured Clyde’s survival.

He then scored 23 the following season - including a hat trick in Tommy Burns debut against Arbroath – as they yo-yoed right back up, but opted to leave East Ayrshire for Stirling Albion in 1991. In four season seasons at Forthbank he scored 56 league goals but the reasons for that move were never abundantly clear.

It should probably be remembered that this was the era before the advent of the Kilmarnock Pie!!

BITS + PIECES At the time of writing it seems the Scottish Cup is going to be up and running. That seemed a bit unlikely as the lower league teams have a huge backlog of fixtures and with the Euros rapidly approaching it looked increasingly like this year’s cup would be ditched. Killie await the winners of the Peterhead v Stenhousemuir fixture in what will be a distraction from our relegation battle.

It will be interesting to see what type of team we’ll field for the cup as it won’t be a priority as we head for the squeaky bum final month. Our last trip to Peterhead was a midweek one with Naisy playing his last game for Killie and the boozehounds having a night to remember at the Peterhead Hilton.

One player who wont feature for Killie in the cup games is Innes Cameron who is on loan at Alloa for the rest of the season. The big striker didn’t do too much at Scumville (he was following instructions) but he has scored now in his last three games for Alloa. Getting a regular start for the wasps seems to be doing him the world of good and lets hope Killie reap the benefits when he returns to base in the summer.

One of the things that A View from the Terrace picked up on was our “Growing the Killie Family” campaign where we reach out to fans and businesses to buy a family season ticket, if they can afford it, that will go to a deserving family. We’ll be running a wee campaign again this year so look out for further details in future issues.

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