Hippo134

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AN UNOFFICIAL KILLIE FANZINE

ISSUE NO. 134

Is A.J. Losing The Plot? ...MY MIDLIFE CRISIS ...WHERE ARE THEY NOW? ...TIME FOR SAFE STANDING? £2.00


THE KILLIE HIPPO IS ON SALE AT HOWARD ARMS, GLENCAIRN SQUARE, KILMARNOCK FOG’S SNACK BAR, KILMARNOCK RUGBY CLUB CAR PARK KILLIE TRUST DESK (PARK HOTEL FOR HOME GAMES) MATCH DAYS AT RP + AT ALL AWAY GAMES

HUGE THANKS TO ALL ADVERTISERS, SUBSCRIBERS, DISTRIBUTORS AND KILLIE FANS FOR THEIR SUPPORT. All views expressed are those of the contributors. E-MAIL : Killiehippo@aol.com WRITE : 20 WITCHKNOWE COURT, KILMARNOCK KA1 4LF NO ARTICLES TO BE REPRODUCED WITHOUT PERMISSION BACK ISSUES 2–133 INCLUSIVE AVAILABLE GET IN TOUCH FOR DETAILS


SHOOTING FROM THE HIPPO You’ll see the back page of this issue features Robbie Muirhead and I really think the young Shortlees lad has a big future. Before the game at Firhill I was standing in the salad shelter queue, sorry pie hut queue, when I bumped into Robbie’s mum Julie. She was telling me that she had a few quid on Robbie at 12/1 to score the last goal as she didn’t think he was going to start. Thankfully the big man man started (and finished) the game and Julie was spending the winnings at the Shortlees Chinese on Saturday night to thank the big guy for his last minute equalizer. Greetings to the first Hippo of 2014 and even though we picked up a few wins over the festive period our league position remains much the same. The three teams around us have also been picking up their fair share and it looks like hearts are away whilst Ross county, Partick, St Mirren and Killie will battle to avoid the play off spot. The Dingwall outfit have moved fast to bolster their squad and the early signs look good for them. Thistle still haven’t won at home and if that remains the case until May I fancy they may hit the dreaded 11th although I can see it being very tight. St Mirren are hard to predict and need to be avoided on the fixed odds coupons. They are not impressive but neither are Killie so God knows what will happen. A lot could hinge on our transfer activity but AJ will need to do much better than the dud-fest of last summer. We have offloaded several players in recent weeks so it looks like he is freeing up wages for new recruits. We probably need to strengthen in all areas however money may mean that isn’t possible so I would expect any additions to be in defence and attack rather than midfield where we do have some options. You will see there is another AJ article in this issue and it would be fair to say since the last issue my faith in AJ/SC has plummeted. Tactics appear to be nonexistent, his post-match comments are nonsense and SC is just an arse. The talentless assistant has mouthed off at Killie fans on at least three occasions Perth, Tannadice and Firhill). AJ’s anti-fan comments after the draw at Thistle were shocking and a sure indication that he is cracking under the pressure. I’ really don’t think they have the necessary qualities to win a tense relegation play off battle and the whispers indicate the players don’t enjoy working under the management team. We have a worrying few months ahead and I hope we can give ourselves a bit of breathing space before the split as it will get very nervy otherwise. Hopefully there’s a decent mix of articles in this issue and I’d love to do more “where are they now” type articles. If any of you out there know the whereabouts of former Killie favourites please drop me an e-mail killiehippo@aol.com with the details. Thanks again for your continuous support of the fanzine, it is much appreciated and I’m sure all the negatives will turn to positives sometime……..the sooner the better for us all. Sandy


My mid-life crisis with Kilmarnock

(writes Godflesh)

More than ever, I now find myself repeatedly re-assessing the part Scottish football plays in my life. It could just be a cliched age thing. Here I am, 43 – so very much in traditional mid-life crisis territory – and with responsibilities to a growing family far and above anything I could conceivably have towards Kilmarnock FC. It could be the money. With times as hard as they are, it’s becoming increasingly difficult to justify the expense of going to matches when, in truth, I really could do with some new clothes.

Is it the football itself? It’s hard to tell actually just how bad our game is at the moment as different frames of reference provide different conclusions. Although increasingly we’re flirting with relegation, Killie are actually an established SPL team now – ostensibly, then, better than the yo-yo teams of the late 70s/80s (although more of that shortly). But they have gained this stability in a period where the large city clubs outwith Glasgow have consistently underperformed – finishing above Hibernian in the league isn’t exactly much of an achievement any more. And, although it’s possible we had players playing in the 80s that perhaps wouldn’t get in our team now (as crazy as that notion may first seem), the game has changed so much it’s futile to compare the eras.

Despite some small droplets of hope in our ocean of despair, as a nation we are clearly struggling: we’ve headed down a doomed trajectory whereby we’ve systematically replaced talented players who weren’t athletes with athletes who can barely kick a ball the way they are facing. So, yeah, maybe it is the football. These thoughts occurred to me recently whilst sitting at Perth watching Killie beaten much more comprehensively than even the 3-1 scoreline suggests.


There was so much about the game that was depressing. Relatively speaking St Johnstone are shit. Ergo, Killie are even shitter. As an emotional spectator that’s a pretty hard one to deal with. The atmosphere was non-existent. I know Rugby Park is hardly world-reknowned when it comes to crowd noise, but McDiarmid Park is the most soulless place you could ever find yourself watching football. As one of the first “new” grounds, it was once heralded as the template for small-mid sized all-seated stadia. Now it just looks and feels like a deterrent. It certainly deters most of the population of Perth.

My unease is much deeper than that though; it’s not exactly as if going to Perth to see Killie lose is anything new. It’s watching the fabric of the Club I love unravel that’s most depressing. That defeat in Perth saw another installment in the bitter demonstrations of fans towards Chairman Michael Johnston. Couple this with sporadic taunting of manager – and, let’s not forget, former player – Allan Johnston (“You don’t know what you’re doing”, “There’s only one Kenny Shiels”) and you have a very uncomfortable away section. It’s not got a whole lot better in the last few games either.

For the record, I think Johnston (the Chairman) has to go but judging Johnston (the Manager) so early in his Kilmarnock career is foolhardy. True, I think some of his decisions to date have been perplexing, especially his refusal to use many of the talented youth players so lauded by Shiels until finally forced to by the poor performances of senior players; and his points record to date is appalling.

But, despite his protestations to the contrary, the fallout from Shiels’ sacking that hangs heavy in the background is creating a negative atmosphere in which any manager would be almost destined to fail. If they are honest, I reckon most Killie fans would – all things being equal – give AJ the benefit of the doubt for now. But the hurt felt at losing Shiels runs deep and the fans are in no mood to cut him any slack.


But of course fans being unhappy with their manager is nothing new either. So why does the state of Kilmarnock feel worse now than it did in the early 80s when we had three-figure crowds, part-time football, and regularly experienced 7 and 8 goal drubbings from Rangers, Dundee Utd et al? For me this is partly because I’m too young to have endured all of this previous era of pain.

We had actually taken our first steps on the long road to recovery when I started “going every week” in 1988. And for many younger fans, top-division football is all they will have known so our current travails must seem horrendous. Is it too naive to say football was simpler then than now? A time when relegation just meant playing in a different division, not liquidation. When football on telly meant Arthur Montford on Scotsport. When Somerset Park looked exactly as it does today… Amongst the furore in Perth there was one song that broke out that particularly struck a chord with me: “We want our Killie back”. Whatever the differing opinions on the way forward, here was a mantra – a cry of desperation really – that everyone could agree on. Like that old bloke on the park bench dreaming of happier times past, we just want things to be the way they used to be. Things need to improve soon, or I could yet be out shopping for those new clothes. Now, that would be depressing. HIPPO SAYS – Heartfelt from a great Killie fan and I’m sure many will agree that this is probably the most horrible season we have witnessed as Killie fans. It’s true that the football on show is poor but as Godflesh says we have watched far worse in the lower divisions. The difference is that we were all in it together in those days but now, thanks to one man, we are fractured off the park, on the park and in the stands. I’ve no doubt that things will eventually improve but with Bowie propping up Johnston for now it seems the agony will go on for a while yet. Sadly the longer it goes on the more damage will be done and more fans will drift away, many of whom will never return on a regular basis.


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TIME FOR SAFE STANDING? It’s one of the biggest reasons why I’d love to be Doctor Who. He can flick a switch and time travel to whatever time or place he wants, reliving the greatest moments in history and experiencing the future. I wish I could jump in his blue box with him, slip him a fiver for ‘petrol’ and get him to set his machine for any time before all-seated stadia was the norm. Experiencing the old terraces, where attendances were regularly smashing the six-figure mark in Old Firm games, would be something spectacular.

Of course the Doctor and his TARDIS travel machine are purely a fictional story, but I can dream of the fantasy. The Scottish Premier League changed their rules that their member clubs can now submit applications to them to create safe standing sections within their stadiums, subject to further approval from police and safety officials. The SPL rule changes also included a change regarding unacceptable conduct relating to songs, banners and chants in a positive or negative way in relation to mentioning organisations listed in the Terrorism Act 2000.

This can be seen in two ways; it is a positive step by the SPL to try and stop an element of Celtic supporters singing pro-IRA songs and an element of Rangers supporters singing pro-UVF and pro-UDA songs. But by including the “and in opposition to” line in the rules they effectively said it is unacceptable to mention terrorist organisations in a negative way and that you will be punished the same as someone glorifying the deaths of innocent people.

This rule change has more shades of grey in it than Jim Goodwin’s noggin, but there’s nothing much to debate on the other rule amendment. This is the first step in giving Scottish football a credible status in the global, if not then European, game. There is much wrong with the game here but this announcement gives a bit of it back to the people who matter; the supporters. Without us football fans there would be no game. The clubs rely on us buying tickets, buying pieces of merchandise and purchasing a pie and Bovril in the ground. The SPL’s chief executive Neil Doncaster said in a statement regarding the rule changes that standing at the football has been the idea that fans have come to him to suggest the most.


It is certainly something that whets the appetite of the majority of supporters. Every game there is fans standing at games, and often when they refuse to sit down they are ejected from the stadium. This can’t happen any longer, and it’s why I’m glad the SPL have used some common sense by giving clubs the green light to make their own standing areas. Sometimes the sheer amount of fans standing means no action is taken, such as the Rangers away support at Celtic Park and vice-versa.

Some doubters have mentioned the Ibrox Disaster of 1971, saying ‘how can you possibly bring standing back after so many people lost their lives?’ and claiming there is no such thing as ‘safe’ standing. Well first of all, the 66 Rangers fans that lost their lives on that fateful day came to their end on the staircase, not by standing at the game and there standing at Ibrox for years after the disaster. And secondly, try telling the Germans there is no such thing as ‘safe’ standing. The Bundesliga is the world’s best-attended football league with an average of more than 42,000 fans per game. There are various factors attributed to this accolade, perhaps the biggest being the population of Germany being around 80 million. The league is one of the most competitive in the world but it is not just simply the product on the park that has managed to revitalise the national team, now considered to be Spain’s biggest challenger at Euro 2012. Cheap ticket prices and safe standing areas are a huge pull in bringing supporters to the grounds in the country and a prerequisite for many.

Fans of Borussia Dortmund, the current German champions, can buy tickets for the standing area in the ‘Subtribune’ for as little as €14. This stand is the biggest in Europe, and if you haven’t seen the beauty of it on a matchday then take time to search YouTube to see videos of it. This stand has standing space for a staggering 27,000 fans. It is a the best example of how safe standing can not only work, but transform the stadium into a cauldron of noise and intimidate the opposition so much more than seating could ever do. The stand is also known as the Yellow Wall for a reason. The Germans see standing as an integral part of their fan culture.

Still, the doubters have something to cry about. ‘UEFA would never allow it for their competitions, so there is no point’. Let me introduce you to the rail seat, if you haven’t seen this before. This is the type used in Germany and to such high success. For domestic matches, the rail seat is pinned to its back to allow the fans to stand and have the safety barriers in front of them. For UEFA and FIFA games however, the seats are unlocked for the fans to sit on to abide by the governing bodies rules. Genius.


The current cost of a rail seat is £84 with the normal plastic seat costing £30, but many in Germany have said the rail seats do not break as easily and are a lot more durable than the plastic seats, ensuring a worthwhile investment.

The extra financial gains that can be made from having these areas are again expressed over in Germany. The vice-president of Borussia Monchengladbach and ex-Scotland coach Rainer Bonhof has seen the benefits of the standing idea for his own eyes, seeing the huge home crowds that Gladbach get and how successful they have become this season.

He told the Herald: “Now in Germany, we have probably the best atmosphere of any league in the world. It is not just because it is best attended. The standing areas have made a contribution to the fan experience. All the clubs are obliged by the DFB [German Football Federation] to have standing sections. We then have to change it if we host international games. “We have standing room for 16,000 on the south terrace and it is full long before every other part of the ground. We have over 40,000 members and we are sold out for almost every game and people travel to see us from all parts of Germany.” This from a team that was in the 2.Bundesliga in 2007-2008 and narrowly avoided relegation by winning the play-off last season, now sitting fourth in the league. It is an example to teams like Motherwell, who have a supporters group who want to and sometimes do stand, to explore this idea and introduce the standing areas at Fir Park to bring back atmosphere and fans to the ground.

The SPL has given clubs the green light to pursue this idea but whether or not clubs will want to do it is an another story. In the recent past St Mirren have come out in opposition to the proposal of standing, and some clubs may not see the positives in ripping out seats they recently shelled out for to accommodate supporters standing. Let’s hope they see common sense however and realise this is the first step to bringing Scottish football back where it belongs. A.C. Hippo says – This article was written a while back but the points raised are still valid. It has all gone a little quiet regarding “safe standing” areas but as the game in this country continues on a decline we will eventually see some changes introduced…..and standing areas will probably return. I do hope that some atmosphere returns with them as RP is like a library for most home games.



PLAY OFF PATTER For many years we have moaned and moaned and moaned again about the clueless buffoons who run Scottish football. It would be fair to say they move more slowly than Gary Harkins with his laces tied together. However one thing most fans have asked for is a bigger league and more promotion/relegation places which will increase the interest in the leagues. If we hang around another decade or so and more teams go belly up then I’m sure they will belatedly change the league set up but at least we have one wee change this year……the premiership play off. I’m not sure if we should really be talking about the play offs but lets be honest, we are in a mini league of four and one of us will be in the dreaded 11th spot. I hate tempting fate but it will be the biggest miracle in football history should Hearts escape from the bottom spot therefore St Mirren, Partick Thistle and Ross County will join forces with us to see who has to suffer the nerve jangling play off games. It should be pointed out that the play offs are loaded in favour of the 11th place SPFL team as they only have one home and away tie to endure. The way it works is as follows: Championship 3rd place team v 4th place team play home and away. The winner faces the Championship 2nd placed team home and away. The winner faces the Premiership 11th team home and away.

The winner takes their place in the Premiership for 2014 – 2015. As things stand in the Championship the top three, Dundee, Falkirk and Hamilton are well clear of the pack so there is a fair chance it would be one of those three who will make the play off final. What’s the chances that if Killie end up 11th that fate decides that Gary Holt will provide the opposition?


It does seem that our three close competitors are all adding to their squads in this window so AJ will need to do better on that front that he did last summer. Ross county have brought in six players and if their 3 – 0 win over the arabs at the weekend is an indicator then they may have repeated last years trick of turning the season around. St Mirren are a funny lot but they have hung around the bottom six for a few years now so it would be no real surprise if they ended up one above the jambos. Partick have signed a couple and striker Lyle Taylor has bagged a few goals since joining….he could be a valuable addition. All in all it’s very hard to predict but the more I see of Killie under AJ/SC the more I doubt that they have what it takes if it comes to a dour battle at the wrong end of the table. For anyone needing to chart some days off or maybe needing a visit to the psychiatrist at Crosshouse here are the dates that matter: Tuesday 6 May, 2014 Premiership play-off quarter-final, 1st leg 4th in Championship v 3rd in Championship Saturday 10 May, 2014 Premiership play-off quarter-final, 2nd leg 3rd in Championship v 4th in Championship Tuesday 13 May, 2014 Premiership play-off semi-final, 1st leg 3rd or 4th in Championship v 2nd in Championship Sunday 18 May, 2014 Premiership play-off semi-final, 2nd leg 2nd in Championship v 3rd or 4th in Championship Wednesday 21 May, 2014 Premiership play-off final, 1st leg 2nd or 3rd or 4th in Championship v 11th in Premiership Sunday 25 May, 2014 Premiership play-off final, 2nd leg 11th in Premiership v 2nd or 3rd or 4th in Championship


WHERE ARE THEY NOW? For those of you of a certain vintage you will remember former Killie striker John Bourke. He is one of the nicest guys you could meet and he only has good things to say about Killie. JB had two spells at Killie during the 70’s and 80’s where he made 151 appearances scoring 43 times. The big man has kept in touch with several Killie fans since he gave up playing one of who is my pal Liz who was recently invited to john’s 60 th birthday party in Clydebank. He is still in good health and still saying nothing but good things about killie…….anyhow this got me trawling through t’internet to find out what had happened to some ex killie players and management. Here goes: PETER LEVEN The skillful left sided midfielder left to go down south in 2007 where he signed for Chesterfield. He was getting glowing reports and was attracting interest from higher league clubs and subsequently moved to MK Dons where he spent three years. After being released he signed for Oxford where once again he seemed to be doing well although he has been plagued with injury troubles throughout his career. There was interest from various clubs but nothing happened so where did he end up? Incredibly he is now plying his trade in the Middlesex County league with a club called London Elite. I’m not sure what standard the league is but it includes a club called British Airways……..I assume they have a couple of flying wingers!! Peter is still only 30 so it will be interesting where he ends up next.


SEAN HESSEY The confectionery loving scouser was at Killie between 2000 and 2004 managing only one goal in 44 appearances. He headed back to England and has played with many clubs, mainly in the north west, including a spell with Chester under former boss Bobby Williamson. Fat Boab released him in 2007 and since then he has had spells at Macclesfield and Accrington Stanley before dropping out the big leagues and playing a season for Barrow. He has continued to slip down the leagues and is now the Welsh League with Prestatyn Town……..I saw Jeff stelling mention him the other week when he managed a goal. He is now 35 years of age and is probably due to retire however my mole tells me that on his 46th birthday he will sign on at Scumerset. BILLY BERNTSSON The Swede is arguably the greatest player to wear the squirrel on his boobs and I’m sure each and every one of you have followed his career…..but I will update those who have missed out. BB is credited with 4 Killie appearances and I’m sure we can all remember every touch he had in the stripes…….yes the both of them. He was given a 2 ½ year contract (he must have some agent) but his talent was wasted here and he soon returned to Scandinavia. He is plying his trade in the top Swedish league with Hammarby but the great news is that all Killie fans will have the chance to meet him later in the season when he flies in to for the unveiling of his statue at the back of the main stand. JIMMY CALDERWOOD The two ton Satsuma was in charge for possibly the most nerve racking 90 minutes ever as we achieved last game SPL survival in 2010. Incredibly he was offered a full time contract but thankfully he knocked it back and we ended up with Mixu. He has been out the game since then although it was rumoured he was going to get the Cardiff job as he knows how to handle a horrific Tan!! Anyway he always had links with Holland and has just been appointed boss at Dr Graafschap.


MAHAMADOU SISSOKO The average blood pressure of killie fans may have drastically reduced since the big man left but I miss him in a funny kind of way. He will always be remembered for his part in our famous cup win even though he nearly sold the sweeties in the first half. The languid centre half was so laid back he was horizontal but he had ability and looked a world beater on his day. He was initially on loan from Udinese but then joined us on a permanent deal in 2012 after being released. After leaving Killie he was attracting the interest from different clubs around Europe but eventually headed to Greece to sign for Veria. Check out the sports pages for a modern day Greek tragedy!! ANSSI JAAKKOLA The big Finnish keepr was signed by Mixu and having been capped by his country it seemed we had a decent goalie on our hands. Don’t get me wrng at times he looked the part but he also looked like a pub goalie at other times. His chances were very limited after Mixu left and he sat in the reserves picking up a wage for doing nothing. He left Killie last sumer and rather surprisingly has ended up in South Africa where he has signed for Ajax Cape Town. Maybe he can meet up with Chad Harpur for to film a “goalie bloopers” video!! OLDHAM No there was nobody called Oldham played for us but they have a colony of old Killie dudes. Manager Lee Johnson will always be remembered for his part in the goal that won the cup and he must be one of the youngest managers in the country. They signed James Dayton in the summer and after picking up a bad injury he now seems to be back playing regularly. They have balanced the signing of wafer thin Dayton by signing porky Gary Harkins on loan from St Mirren. Nobody doubts his ability but he will need to avoid Nandos and McDonalds if he is going to make the move permanent. Finally Jude Winchester’s twin brother Carl plays there to complete the Killie connection.


KILLIE NEWSDESK We are in the middle of the January transfer window and I’m sure there will be more ins and outs before the end of the month…….there better be as the other three play off contenders are all strengthening. Anyway there have been a few moves so far, here is my understanding so far – James Fowler has gone on a months loan to Cowdenbeath. Our longest serving player has not featured recently but it could be a tricky run in from now until May so we may well see Fow back in the mix again……time will tell. Gary Fisher who has been on loan at East fife has now signed with them. The young midfielder had a few run outs with Killie but was never really established as a first team regular, also having a loan spell at Hamilton last year. Good luck to the wee man and I hope he has a long successful career in the game. AJ’s summer signings have hardly been a roaring success but it seems that three of them will be here until the summer. The loan deals of Gardyne and Irvine have been extended whilst Nicholson has signed another short term deal that keeps him with Scotland’s finest. Elsewhere it is all a bit unclear I’m afraid. Some reports suggested that Mark Stewart and Kyle Jacobs had left however the official club website still has them listed in the current squad. Having said that the club website has just reported the 1965 cup win and the introduction of corner flags to football so it may need to be updated!!


The most mental newspaper report of the week is that Gabriel Reuben is training with Spurs. The whole Nigerian signing scenario was weird from the outset but it was another cock up from the parasite that we will never know the truth about. Good luck to Reuben but I reckon there is more chance of me winning Slimmer of the year than him getting a contract……..I hope I don’t live to regret that last sentence. One of our articles in the Xmas edition of the hippo normally relates to the club AGM but for the last couple of years that hasn’t been the case as MJ has messed about with the stage managed farce. Some folk have been saying he simply won’t have an AGM as he doesn’t need to, in effect with his shareholding he can choose not to have one. However this would be a change that would require an EGM to be called to vote through. All in all it’s another in the exhaustive list of PR cock ups and it will simply be the case that he knows he will get a hard time and he is trying to come up with some big news to break. Rest assured we will be hearing something fairly shortly and we will have a fanzine report when the meeting is finally held. Nobody has done more at RP over the years than the legend that is Davie Sneddon. Of course I’m sure the highlight was our famous 1965 League win but Davie has done basically every job at the club apart from chairman…….how I wish he was in that position at this time. Davie has not been in great health in recent months and was admitted to hospital recently. Young Davie is on the KFCSA committee at present and will keep us up to speed with his dad’s progress. It goes without saying that we send our very best wishes to Davie and all the family.


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CALAMITOUS KILLIE It’s always interesting to hear the views of non Killie fans on our famous club. In fact in the early days of the fanzine we ran regular articles from opposing fans talking about their thoughts on Killie. Anyway I came across this on the internet and it’s worth a read: After the League Cup defeat at home to Greenock Morton, you could forgive Celtic fans for not queuing up in droves to buy tickets for a visit to Kilmarnock the following weekend, particularly given that many of them would have already paid a considerable outlay for a seat to watch their team play Barcelona the next week in the Champions League. Even before Dougie Imrie's extra-time penalty winner at Celtic Park, Michael Johnston, the chairman at Killie, had noticed that uptake of tickets for the away end was slower than usual. Given that the home support at Rugby Park take up less than 25% of the ground at the best of times, Johnston has shamelessly courted Old Firm fans in the past, to the point of giving three stands to Celtic and Rangers on occasions in recent seasons where either team could - and did - win the title by beating Kilmarnock away from home. Johnston's apparent affinity to supporting the needs of the Old Firm - culminating in Kilmarnock being the only club not to vote for Rangers to be thrown out of the top flight after their liquidation last year - has long alienated himself from the club's supporters. Add in the summer dismissal of the loud-mouthed but locally popular Kenny Shiels less than 18 months after a League Cup win, and his relationship with the fans was already at breaking point. Attendances for each of their home league games so far have mainly dipped under the 4,000 mark. Given that we know that the club's finances are, at best, a bit iffy - as of January, the club's debt stood at £9.8million (which was actually slightly higher than the year before) - the club desperately need punters in through the door. That probably explains Johnston's Machiavellian decision to drop ticket prices from £26 to £20 for the Celtic game...for Celtic supporters only. Not for his own supporters. Callously, he seems to have decided that lower prices won't tempt back those who aren't coming, and that the hardcore few who support the team through thick and thin - mostly thin at the moment, apart from Kris Boyd's girth are so committed that they'll still pay through the nose to watch the team.


After an outpouring of anger and fury, from fair-minded folk as well as Killie's supporters,the club announced that fans who bought a ticket for the would get a free ticket for the next home match, and that season ticket holders would be able to bring a friend for free for that match. Not a bad deal for pay-at-the-gate punters, but still a rubbish one for season ticket holders, unless their friend pays them for the privilege of accompanying them. Kilmarnock fan Robert McCracken lamented on twitter that it was like "using a tampon to clean up an oil spill." Given the quality of the product on show, I'm not convinced that a free ticket would be considered value for money. Off the park, Kilmarnock are a mess. On it, they are just as much of a shambles. Allan Johnston's Queen Of The South side were practically unbeatable in the second division last season. His Kilmarnock side managed a grand total of zero wins from seven league matches, as well as a cup exit at home to Championship side Hamilton Accies. What's worse is that there are so few positives to take from the start to the season. If his side were still getting used to playing a new, attractive style of football, then they might be afforded some slack. Ditto if Johnston was blooding a ton of youngsters. Instead, the opposite is true. The slick passing game so beloved of Shiels has been ditched in favour of a more direct style. Significantly, he made the decision early in the season that forwards Kris Boyd and Paul Heffernan were unable to form a partnership - and dispensed with Heffernan, with the hardworking Irishman signing for Hibs on a free transfer. Boyd, who remains one of the most deadly finishers around, is being used in a target man role, but, even when he was younger and fitter, he struggled to play as a lone striker; now that he is as about as mobile as the Venus De Milo, he is even less effective in that role. The former Rangers striker's threat is reduced further by Johnston's preference for not using wingers; instead the ball is pinged over a rather narrow midfield towards his head. On transfer deadline day, Johnston brought in Michael Gardyne on loan from Dundee United to play in 'the hole' just behind Boyd and give him greater support. Gardyne is one of ten new players brought in since Magic took over as boss. Given that Shiels gave so many youth team graduates a chance last season, and that a few first-teamers had departed in the summer, Killie's side was expected to be rather young this year. But promising kids such as Mark O'Hara, Ross Barbour, Chris Johnston and Jude Winchester have instead been sidelined in favour of veterans. The only signing under the age of 22 is Celtic loanee Jackson Irvine. There are some players with pedigree such as Scotland squad keeper Craig Samson, Hearts defender Darren Barr and the evergreen Barry Nicholson.


However there were also the likes of Mark Stewart, who spent last year in and out of a relegated Dundee team, Kyle Jacobs, who was barely a first choice for Livingston last year, and Ismael Bouzid, the former Hearts central defender who made just three appearances for a team in his native Algeria last season. At best, these players were a short-term fix which prevents the youngsters from developing; in some cases, they are no better than the teenagers that were already there. That said, it is actually young Irvine who has borne more criticism than any other player so far, which is probably because most of his appearances have not been in his preferred central midfield role, but in central defence. Even now, Johnston has no idea who his best back four are. He deployed Irvine and three full-backs and when Bouzid made his debut against Partick he was the eighth different player to play in defence for the club in seven league games. That didn't include the experienced James Fowler or Manuel Pascali, who have played either in midfield or not at all, with their nous badly missed. About the only defensive player guaranteed a place is keeper Samson - though many would claim that his understudy Antonio Reguero was superior last season when the duo played for St. Mirren and Caley Thistle respectively. Johnston does not give the impression of a manager who knows what he is doing. But his namesake chairman has nailed his colours firmly to Magic's mast. He needs Allan Johnston to succeed, not just for his own credibility, but because relegation from the top flight would almost certainly condemn Kilmarnock to following the footsteps of Hearts and Dunfermline towards financial calamity. HIPPO SAYS – THIS WAS WRITTEN BEFORE XMAS SO YOU WILL PROBABLY BE AWARE THAT STEWART AND JACOBS HAVE BEEN RELEASED BUT I THINK THE POINTS MADE ARE STILL VALID. THE CHAIRMAN BASHING IS WELL COVERED IN MOST ISSUES SO WE WILL LEAVE THAT FOR NOW. I’VEJUST RETURNED FROM FIRHILL WHERE YOUBG MUIRHEAD’S FIRST EVER KILLIE GOAL GAVE US A BARELY DESERVED DRAW AND I REALLY AM LOSING FAITH IN THE MANAGER AND HIS TWAT OF AN ASSISTANT.THE OTHER TEAMS IN THE PLAY OFF SCRAP HAVE ALL MOVED QUICKLY TO BRING IN NEW FACES TO ADD TO THEIR SQUADS. HAVING LOOKED AT AJ’S SUMMER SIGNINGS I’M NOT CONVINCED HE KNOWS WHAT WE NEED OR HAS THE CONTACTS TO BRING IN THE RIGHT CHARACTERS. IF YOU READ THE LAST ISSUE YOU WILL BE AWARE I DON’T LIKE THE CONSTANT CHANGING OF MANAGERS BUT I REALLY DON’T HAVE ANY FAITH THAT AJ CAN STEER US THROUGH THE ROCKY WATERS THAT LIE AHEAD……AS EVER I DEARLY HOPE HE PROVES ME WRONG.


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IS A.J. LOSING THE PLOT? In issue 133 of the Hippo we wrote an article about Allan Johnston as he has been coming under increasing criticism from many fans. My stance has always been that a manager needs sufficient time and teams that regularly change managers are rarely successful unless they have unlimited cash to throw at their problems. It would be fair to say that we have been less than impressive for most of the season and the playing style and level of performance is more likely to chase fans away than tempt some back. In short I was happy to give AJ time but that it was time for him to “walk the walk”. Sadly things appear to be getting worse rather than better and his comments after the draw at Firhill have set the alarm bells ringing for many fans. My take on the draw at Firhill was that we were second best for most of the game and couldn’t have complained had the Jags won. However we did improve in the second half and we had to be happy with a point. The fans travelled in good numbers and for the majority of the time we gave good backing to the team. There was abuse being dished out but that was aimed at MJ, SC + some to AJ with Jackson Irvine getting some shouts………AJ is to blame for playing a midfielder at right back whilst he had a right back on the bench. Anyway that was my take so it was a bit surprising to hear what the manager had to say: KILMARNOCK gaffer Allan Johnston had a pop at the club’s fans last night for berating his young side in their draw at Partick Thistle. Robbie Muirhead earned the Ayrshiremen a point with a last-ditch leveller as he buried the rebound following Kris Boyd’s missed penalty. Kallum Higginbotham had fired Jags 1-0 up in three minutes and Johnston was thrilled with his side’s character to come back. But he reckons his troops were let down by the Killie fans and urged supporters to back his young side, not barrack them.


Johnston said: “The boys didn’t get the backing they deserved from the Kilmarnock fans. We’ve a lot of youngsters in the team who need encouragement and we need the fans to get right behind the lads. Getting on their backs isn’t going to help them. “You are going to get up and down performances from a young team because of their age but they did not let it affect them and got their just rewards in the end. “We showed great character to come back to take a point and it might be a big one for us come the end of the season. “The league is very close with 11 games to go before the split and we know we really need to start winning matches – but this is a big point for us. “We stared the first half pretty slowly and it was a sloppy performance. They were winning every second ball. “We were a different team when we emerged in the second half though and controlled the play. “I thought it was only really a matter of time before we got the equalising goal.“You expect Kris Boyd to finish chances and you expect him to score the penalty but Robbie Muirhead has shown a great striker’s instinct to score.” Sorry AJ but that in the main is pure and utter bullsh*t and when a manager, who has never had any communications with the fans, starts having a go at his own then it doesn’t augur well for him having a long term future at the club. In all honesty his post match interviews are generally uninspiring, full of clichés and full of deluded observations that leaves many fans just shaking their heads. If he thought we controlled the second half he really is losing the plot. We were better after the break and we had a few chances (as opposed to none in the 1 st half) but to say we controlled it is bollocks, It’s ironic that he is now rushing to back the youngsters so soon after hanging mark O’Hara out to dry after a recent match. It has taken him a while to figure out that the youngsters who were already at the club are better than his poor signings in the summer and if he doesn’t improve his signing record in this transfer window we may find ourselves facing the play offs in May.


The most obvious and glaring problem with the team selection was the decision to play Irvine at right back. His justification after the game was that Higginbotham had caused us problems in the past, well he caused us even more in this game simply because we played a midfielder who got skinned repeatedly and Thistle dominated the first half by playing everything down Irvine’s flank. I feel a bit sorry for Irvine however the bottom line is we have youngsters who are better than him so why we continue to develop a Celtic youngster at the expense of our own is baffling and downright annoying. As well as cruelly exposing Irvine AJ also managed to send a huge negative message that you aren’t good enough to Clohessy, Barbour and any other budding right backs. As far as the other youngsters are concerned there was no abuse although you will always get a few moans after a misdirected pass regardless of who does it. Wee Messi was quiet in the first half and was replaced at half time by Kiltie who put in a good shift. Muirhead worked hard all game and although is final ball let him down a couple of times he persevered and got his reward with his first killie goal. I was speaking to his mum Julie before kick off and she had stuck a few quid on him at 12/1 to be the LAST goalscorer so it was double celebration time. Getting back to the manager I’m afraid the post match comments are worrying and I get the feeling it won’t have a happy ending for the struggling management team. Perhaps AJ was simply responding to the abuse aimed at him and his embarrassment of an assistant. His lack of connection with the fans will always work against him but I wonder if his chairman will enjoy the fact that the flak is being taken away from him. SC was apparently mouthing off once again at Killie fans, this is a guy that should be nowhere near our famous club and the sooner he is gone the better for all. On the back of all this I’m afraid my patience with the manager is at breaking point. Hand on heart, if they two of them were bumped tomorrow it wouldn’t bother me in the slightest. The problem here is that MJ will never back his own fans therefore he may use AJ as a pawn to have more cheap shots at the fans. It’s all very sad and I’m afraid that the club is fractured at all levels rather than all pulling in the same direction……it’s going to be an interesting few months ahead.


CHEATING A*R SCUM We’ve always known that the scum down the road are lower than a snakes belly however it’s always good to get hard evidence to prove our theory. Step forward gambler extraordinaire Michael Moffat, I’ll bet you know that name. In case you have missed the media reports, Moffat has just been suspended for six games as he broke the betting rules as he gambled on games involving his own team……..incredibly he bet them to win so I suspect the poor lad has psychological issues. He did move from Girvan juniors to the scum so taking a step down in his career is another indication of his mental health. Apparently the beaks were happy that he was not involved in match fixing or influencing results. Having seen him play against Killie in the semi final I’m sure he has never influenced a result in his life. At present the scum are appealing the length of the ban, presumably they want his ban to be 6 months rather than 6 games. Anyway our moles in the bookie network and we have uncovered a few more bets that this wise and intelligent footballer has placed; 1. £10 @ 100/1 on the Loch Ness monster marrying Susan Boyle in the grounds of Belleisle. 2. £50 @ 1000/1 on Sandy Clark winning the 2014 Sports personality of the year 3. £100 @ 33/1 that Desert Orchid will win his court case against Luis Suarez who will be asked to return the teeth.


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SPFL 21/12/13 KILLIE 2 V 1 THISTLE

DICK OF THE DAY – GIOVANNI PERONI

Rewind 24 hours and I had stopped work for the Xmas hols and wasn’t returning until 6th January…..happy days. By way of celebration we had the works Xmas lunch at 1pm then I headed to Glesga with Baz to see Big Fat Panda (Embra ska group worth seeing). It would be fair to say I was getting in the Xmas spirit….or beer to be more accurate. I do enjoy an Italian lager and the Peroni is particularly pleasant…..and strong. Needless to say the Saturday was all a bit of a blur and all I know is that Killie got a vital three points. Well played to Peroni founder Giovanni on gaining a posthumous DOTD award but I hold him responsible. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

SPFL 26/12/13 HEARTS 0 V 4 KILLIE DICK OF THE DAY – KILLIE COPS

A fantastic win for Killie albeit against a very poor Hearts side who are on their way to face Sevco next season. The only negative of the day was the news that the Killie police were searching supporters buses for drink before they set off for the capital. Hopefully it wasn’t spark by grassing Killie fans again but yet again nothing was found. I’m not one for bashing the cops but they really should be using their resources better than trying to find a can of beer of lads + lassies enjoying a day out. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

SPL 29/12/13 HIBS 3 V 0 KILLIE

DICK OF THE DAY – OPTA STAT MAN

As soon as I read before the game that Hibs hadn’t won at home since September I knew the outcome of this match. I’m going to write to OPTA to tell there stat man its 99% probable that if I meet him he will get slapped……and breath.


SPFL 2/1/14 KILLIE 2 V 1 BUDDIES

DICK OF THE DAY – GARY HARKINS

They say its easy to take cheap shots at fat blokes so that’s what we’ll do. Harkins has had a few snide comments on his twitter about Killie, ironically he’d probably been munching a KFC at the same time. Anyway it seems the salad dodger came on in the 85 th minute to prove that subs don’t necessarily mean fresh legs. He was treated for cramp on 87, 88 and 90 minutes. Good luck in Oldham big man, I hear Pukka pies have taken on 100 new staff. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

SPFL 5/1/14 KILLIE 1 V 2 DONS

DICK OF THE DAY – CRAIG CHARLESTON They also say that refs are easy targets, especially ones named after dodgy Killie pubs so this plum can cherish his award. To use an old cliché, goals change games and Killie should have had a first half lead when Boyd scored. The clueless ref decided the big man had fouled before scoring, something that even the Dons boss acknowledged was nonsense. The fact we ended up losing a late goal rubbed salt in the wound and once again a poor official has cost us. Here’s hoping it’s a long time before this walloper visits the Theatre of Pies again. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

SPL 18/1/14 JAGS 1 V 1 KILLIE

DICK OF THE DAY – ALLAN JOHNSTON

His post match interviews have been nonsense all season but this took the biscuit……mmmm biscuits. AJ decided to have a pop at the fans on a day when we gave the team good support. Get your own house in order AJ or you and your obnoxious sidekick can pack your bags and piss off.


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HAIL THE SHORTLEES SUPERKID

All Killie fans love to see youngsters breaking through into the first team but it’s always that little bit more special when it’s a local lad. Robbie Muirhead only turns 18 in March but he is already the talk of the town after his late equalizer against Thistle. The big man is a Killie fan and his “auld maw” Julie was the proudest fan in firhill when Robbie grabbed us a point. The big striker has been prolific for both club and country so I suspect that goal was the first of many.


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