Hippo139

AN UNOFFICIAL KILLIE FANZINE

ISSUE NO. 139

WE WUZ ROBBED........ ..CLOSE SEASON DIARY ..BOOZEHOUNDS ON TOUR ..WHAT LIES AHEAD

£2.00

THE KILLIE HIPPO IS ON SALE AT HOWARD ARMS, GLENCAIRN SQUARE, KILMARNOCK FOG’S SNACK BAR, KILMARNOCK RUGBY CLUB CAR PARK KILLIE TRUST DESK (PARK HOTEL FOR HOME GAMES) MATCH DAYS AT RP + AT ALL AWAY GAMES

HUGE THANKS TO ALL ADVERTISERS, SUBSCRIBERS, DISTRIBUTORS AND KILLIE FANS FOR THEIR SUPPORT. All views expressed are those of the contributors.

E-MAIL : Killiehippo@aol.com WRITE : 20 WITCHKNOWE COURT, KILMARNOCK KA1 4LF NO ARTICLES TO BE REPRODUCED WITHOUT PERMISSION BACK ISSUES 2–138 INCLUSIVE AVAILABLE GET IN TOUCH FOR DETAILS

SHOOTING FROM THE HIPPO Well hello again, where have you been for the last few months apart from laughing at England in Brazil and crying because there’s no womens beach volleyball in the Commonwealth games. They could have held it at Irvine beach and teams could have got an extra point if they smashed the ball on to a used needle. Credit to the games organisers as well for ensuring the closing ceremony was all about super Killie………some folk pronounce it Kylie.

Anyway here we go again for another campaign of stress, shredded nails and excessive lager intake. It has been a fairly lively summer all the same and maybe the biggest news was the laying of the 3G pitch at the Theatre of Pies. I think most fans would prefer to see football played on grass but at the same time understand the other benefits. The team have already been training on it, the youths will be using it constantly and we have attracted an international rugby fixture. That was no surprise and an extra layer of protection was added to ensure we could host rugby as they have different pitch criteria to the softies that play fitba!!

Probably the best news of the summer was that unpopular assistant manager Sandy Clark exited and has taken up the assistants role at Albion Rovers. He was universally disliked by fans and players (I’m assured) so I don’t think anyone is sorry to see him go. Personally I’m pleased that Locke has been brought in as his replacement. He gained good experience and did a decent job at Tynecastle and was badly treated as they brought in Levein + co. I think there is a bit of succession planning going on there as well, if AJ repeats the first three months of last season then GL may well be in charge by Xmas.

I’m hoping the new surface also encourages us to play a better brand of football than last season. Having seen the pre season games we have been passing it far more and wee Chris Johnston is looking sharp and should be the type of plater who will flourish on the 3G. I’m too long in the tooth to get worked up about friendlies so we will reserve any judgment until the competitive games start. I’m writing this just before I leave the house for Dens so will do a wee match report for what looks like a real trappy opener.

I don’t want to dwell on the off-field issues, there’s a change from a year ago!! I was at a meeting with MJ recently and it was totally depressing, we have a new board but at present nothing has changed. MJ still takes responsibility for nothing, continues to undermine the Young Killie, Trust and KFCSA and I’m at a loss why Billy Bowie puts in £2m but leaves Johnston in place to damage his investment. We will see how things develop in the next few months but the club as a whole wont move forward until he is removed….simples.

Thanks to all you fans for your loyal support and a special thanks to Provost Jim Todd, more about Jim in the next issue……….MON THE KILLIE Sandy

THE HIPPO CLOSE SEASON DIARY It’s only a matter of days after our nerve jangling last day win at Easter Road and while I should be binning the fanzine for two months I thought I’d get off my fat arse in gear and keep writing……less to do come our opening game on 9th August. That is a little later than normal but will give all Killie’s World cup starts more time to recover!!

We are always on the lookout during the summer for Killie snippets so I thought the best idea was to keep a (not) daily diary to note anything of interest, not all Killie stuff I may add.

Disclaimer – some diary entries contain infantile and pathetic comments, either because I was bored or drunk: Monday 12th May – Newspaper reports giving comments from Billy Bowie which suggest AJ will still be here next season…..there’s a huge boost for ST sales.

Tuesday 14th May – So far Boyd has been linked with Rangers, Hearts + Hibs whilst BB is confident he will be at Killie……stay with your local team big chap.

Thursday 15th May – Boyd goes into hospital for ankle op, I wonder if rangers/Hearts/Hibs will foot the medical bill…..lower league trash all three if you ask me. Oh first signing rumour, Kirk Broadfoot on a two year deal……..mmmmmm.

Most importantly it’s 6 years to the day since the tragic passing of Tommy Burns. The most influential person in the clubs recent history I’d suggest………RIP Tommy.

Friday 16th May – Killiefc.com rumours suggest that both Winchester and Gros have been released. No official word yet from the club but we can expect that to happen before Xmas.

Saturday 17th May – Scottish Cup final day with ex Killie stars Fraser Wright and Tim Clancy at St Johnstone although TC takes no part. Cracker of a game and well done to big Fras for getting a medal to show the grandweans, the celebrations in Perth town centre bring the memories flooding back from 1997.

Sunday 18th May – Rumours abound that Sandy Clark is getting shown the exit door……and Gary Locke may well be getting involved again at RP. The general consensus seems to be nearly everyone will be glad to see the back of SC…..but fans split regarding the return of GL. Tuesday 20th May – After being ignored for most of the season Ross Barbour has been handed a two year deal……looks like that is next year’s right back position sorted. Still rumours flying about players that may be released but no official word from the club.

Thursday 22nd May – Several papers and the BBC have run the story about SC leaving but still no word from the club. Have the new directors contracted the MJ virus that means no PR and keep the fans in the dark?

Saturday 24th May – 17 years to the day since Killie took over Govan and brought home the silverware….oh happy days.

Sunday 25th May – Former Killie players Heff and Nelson suffer a humiliating relegation nightmare at the hands of Hamilton…….there but for the grace of Boydy go Killie.

Monday 26th May – HUGE SURPRISE NEWS – the club release a statement to say that Sandy Clark has left the building. The statement finishes by saying the club, staff and supporters wish him all the best for the future………not sure what supporters they are speaking for but I won’t be too upset if he’s never seen again in Scottish fitba!!

JUNE This is traditionally the quietest month for stories but there are still a few howling rumours flying about. It is reported that both Boyd and Eremenko are willing to sign however it will depend on the offer……….I’m no Poirot but I think I see a potential problem!!Boyd is being linked with Sevco, Hearts,Aberdeen and Dundee Utd but stated it is not all about money,.mmmmm???

Elsewhere we bring back Jamie Hamill to the Theatre of Pies and I’m quite happy with that to be honest. He is a good honest player with a bit of dig and a bit of attitude, maybe something we were missing last season. In all honesty we were missing in loads of areas last season but that could fill an issue on its own.

Gary Locke was confirmed as assistant boss and I’m happy with that although a two by four plank would have been an improvement on SC. Almost as soon as he was in place we were linked with keeper Jamie McDonald who was released from the Jambos but it seems we were beaten to his signature by Falkirk!!!

At the end of June it became increasingly clear that Boyd was simply going to whoever offered the most money and he dropped a division to return to Ibrox……how’s that for ambition? We were also being linked with David Goodwillie but as he was attracting interest from St Johnstone and Aberdeen it didn’t look hopeful.

There was also confirmation that we would be playing on the 3G surface from this season, a decision which appears to have split the fans. My take is that I’d always prefer to see football played on grass but there are obvious other benefits to having the surface. The team will train on it, the youths will play on it and AJ may be forced to ask his players to pass the ball on the deck……time will tell.

One criticism from fans is that there is still no mention of a preseason friendly and that is far from ideal as folk need to take time off work and arrange their holidays. We do plan in taking in as many as possible so you may read some offbeat match reports elsewhere in this issue. We have also omitted to mention the KFCSA AGM as that is also covered in a separate article.

Of course the highlight of the month/year/decade was during the World Cup when Killie got a mention when Gabriel Reuben came on as a substitute for Nigeria………you couldn’t make it up.

JULY The new month sees the players get back to training and with that comes the inevitable increase in signing rumours. When we started back it seemed we have Josh Magennis (ex Aberdeen) and Jamie McAllister (schoolmate of Guy Fawkes) training with us.

The first week in July sees us make another signing when we grab former Scotland striker Lee Miller who was released by Carlisle.

It’s hard to know what we can expect from the former Hearts and Aberdeen hitman. If we can get him back to peak form he could be an excellent signing though he has had personal difficulties in recent years so let’s see if he can hit the ground running.

We plough into July and as the World Cup finals draw to a close our thoughts turn to the return of real football next month. The team are back in training, the pitch is on schedule and we continue the new signings. Josh Magennis + Tope Obadeyi both sign after being on trial with us, Mark Connolly signs and gives us some more cover in the centre back positions.

We still have a few trialists about the place like McAllister, David Clarkson and goalkeeper Alan Martin who played in a couple of the closed door games.

Thankfully a few pre-season games have been announced but the notice given for these have been abysmal especially when a couple of these games were down south. You’ll read about our drunken adventures elsewhere in this issue but I’m too old in the tooth to get too upset over some erratic form in glorified training sessions.

It has all gone quiet on the season ticket front and it will be interesting to see how many we get at the opening few home games. If the new board were hoping for a big uptake I suspect they are a bit out of touch and they will be disappointed but time will tell. I attended the meeting with MJ that was arranged by Andy Miller (SLO) but it really comes across that little has changed. MJ still slags off folk that are not in attendance, fails to accept that he is an obstacle to getting fans back and he takes responsibility for nothing…….the other board members know the problem but will they do anything about it?

Anyway that’s my ramblings over as far as the close season goes.

I’ve had the annual break and I’m raring for the jaunt to Dens Park on August 9th……….mon the Killie.

BOOZEHOUNDS PRE SEASON TOUR I reckon the highlight of last season was our pre-season hoolie to Portrush along with plenty of other Killie fans who enjoyed the Irish hospitality and basking in the tropical weather………….the word basking in that sentence can be swapped for the phrase “drank gallons of Guinness”.

Therefore it was a huge disappointment that we were well into June before there was any word whatsoever about the friendlies this time around.

Everyone is aware that the pitch was meant no home games but there was no excuse for not arranging away fixtures. The amount of notice given for the Shrewsbury game was 5 days…….fans treated like dirt again but what’s new?

On to the games and we have most of them covered, yes even the closed door games. We played the scum at Inverclyde and ran out 6 – 1 winners…….apparently it was six going on 26. One of the trialists involved in the game was ex Hibee Ewan Smith who scored thirty seconds after coming on as a sub. That makes him a legend in my book, surely he deserves a 5 year deal at 10k a week!!

We also played a closed door game at Inverclyde against Rotherham who were just promoted to the Championship. It ended one apiece and the Howard mole assures me that it got very tasty at one stage. In fact Pasca totally murdered a guy that would have seen him with a 30 game ban had it been a real game.

After that the closed doors were open and we ventured down the road to Annan for a wee practice on a 3G surface. There were a few new faces on show and Killie dominated the opening period but failed to find the pokey.

As we reached half time the Annan Social Club kidnapped me and some fellow hounds therefore I missed the goals (you can see them on youtube).

Killie managed to grab a couple in the second period with Slater and Josh Magennis doing the damage. Wee Chris Johnston was sticking out like a sore thumb and looks like he might be well suited to the artificial surface.

Hamill also played well just sitting in front of the back four.

The following week would see us heading on the 600 mile round trip to Shrewsbury however on the Thursday night the Killie weans played the Buffs at Abbey Park. We led at half time thanks to a strike by a young Algerian striker however we were poor in the second half. It should be pointed out that it was a very young Killie team and one well known Killie fan was proud as punch as his 15 year old son played on trial at centre half.

I’m still in shock that a Howard boozehound scored for the buffs (see back page) as the home team ran out 3 – 1 winners.

I was out my scratcher at 6am on Saturday morning as there was a long day ahead as seven boozehounds headed on a wee adventure to the Welsh border. It’s all important to get a good feed in the belly for a day like this but I couldn’t decide on a McD’s brekkie, a BK brekkie or a big fry up. So as not to offend anyone I opted for a McD’s, a BK and cholesterol buster fry up just to get me through until my midnight munchie box(es).

Seven of us headed south and the 5 ½ hour journey flew in as we reminisced about lengthy journeys of yesteryear……….Swansea took the biscuit I think. We arrived in Shrewsbury before 2pm and headed straight for the Brooklands Hotel. The weather was fantastic and the outdoor bar was just what the lager doctor ordered……….pay it a visit if you are ever in Shrewsbury.

The game itself was instantly forgettable ending in a no score bore draw although we may have been a shade unlucky to have a Magennis goal chalked off. We bumped into the team bus at a service station on the way home and fair play to the management and team for chatting away to some wobbly fans……..AJ assured us there would be more signings on the way.

Wednesday night saw the Killie weans in action again with a short trip down to Beith. I never managed to get down but we ran out 3-1 winners with goals from Davidson, Splaine, Thomson. Young Adam Hodge could be a name to look out for as he is just coming back from a lengthy injury.

Three days later and we headed back over the border, we may need to show a passport the next time we do that?? The journey was a sprint compared to Shrewsbury and as you can see we made a point of heading for big Eric’s statue.

We fielded two new trialists in the full back areas with ex Carlisle left back Chris Chantler catching the eye. Daryl Westlake, ex Sheff Utd was at right back and did ok. Goals from Magennis and Obadeyi (a screamer) saw us earn a 2 – 2 draw to end our pre-season friendlies unbeaten….BRING ON THE REAL STUFF NOW!!

Altogether now…..”Bring me sunshine, in your smile……………” >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

STOP PRESS Our friends in the corridors of power have ensured the TV companies will be ripping out each other’s throats to get back to Scottish fitba…….for our League Cup tie against the scum. A row has already broken out as the scum want to park their team bus along the 18 yard line……for the sharp eyed fans out there you may have saw their team bus parked on the Hamden pitch was used for the Commonwealth games opening ceremony. However rumours that their front two will be John Barrowman and Karen Dunbar are wide off the mark. Once again I look forward to a fine occasion and I suspect Agent Roberts will be granted the freedom of Kilmarnock before kick off.

WORLD CUP MEMORIES Forty-four years ago, me, my Dad, around twelve of his mates, and the neighbours of our top-floor tenement flat crouched around a small television set in our living room and watched the greatest goal ever scored. Before, since and forever more.

My entrepreneurial father had swapped our budgie and its cage for a loan of the TV in order to watch the 1970 World Cup Final between Brazil and Italy. He hated the bird and an opportunity to get rid of it as part of a bizarre pre-Bosman style transfer deal was too good to miss. It was called Joey – the budgie, not the telly – and his failed attempts to get it to talk were the justification for its permanent ‘early bath’.

I missed Joey; well for about the first five minutes of a match apparently being played in some footballing technicolor Oz. But I’m typically digressing. In a match which has become synonymous with the pinnacle of what football can achieve, that fourth goal is now routinely considered to be the best ever scored. Like most in our living room that day, I didn’t appreciate that then. I was too young. Half a lifetime later though, here’s the three reasons why it is…and none of them actually involve Carlos Alberto.

01: Clodoaldo’s dribble.

Naysayers might now contest that when that last goal was scored, Italy were already on their knees. However consider the wider context of the poetic part that started the whole move. When I was younger, I considered myself to be pretty good at football. A potential contender, scraping layers of skin on the blaes in the west of Scotland admittedly, but I still thought I could make it. I had no chance. I made it as far as Amateur level with a ludicrously brief possibility of lower level Junior status.

I was miles away from succeeding at that standard, and that is a far greater distance away from the Scottish lower leagues, which in turn is light years away from the upper levels of our national game, and the tiny, tiny percentage of players who make it to this level are still highly unlikely to be good enough to get capped.

Even by Scotland; a country with players by some considerable measurement short of the quality required to play for Italy, and an Italy good enough to reach a World Cup Final in another hemisphere.

Can you see where I’m going with this?

Almost without touching the ball at all, Clodoaldo – a holding midfielder; a defensive ‘fetcher and carrier’, remember – made four Italian internationals look like four versions of me. Think about that, the next time you watch Ian Black.

02: The ball As it made its way effortlessly up the touchline, propelled by Rivelino’s left foot direct to Jairzinho’s right, glinting like a diamond in the sun, that ball seemed to know its destiny. It seemed to appreciate the iconic status that it was about to achieve. It was Elvis’s pelvis, Lennon’s smirk and Johnny Rotten’s sneer all wrapped up in a spherical leather ‘fuck you, I’m brilliant!’

Every ball since has wanted to be that ball…and has failed miserably. This year, we’re going to have something that looks like the result of an open-air colouring-in contest at Butlin’s for four-year-olds, which got abandoned halfway through due to torrential rain.

Every football should look like the one which flicked the V’s to an entire stadium that day in 1970.

03: Pele’s nonchalance Taking his cue from the attitude of the ball, the stand-out player in a team of footballing geniuses casually rolled it into the path of the eventual goalscorer as if he was playing against that same group of toddlers who designed the ball for Brazil 2014. Watch him again…and again…and then again. His body shape is perfect; all poise and effortless balance.

His part in the move is the bit that I love most. He’s like Muhammad Ali dropping George Foreman in Zaire and knowing; just knowing that he didn’t need even that final punch, drawn back but unused.

Arrogantly brilliant.

It’s the greatest goal ever scored. It’s a work of art as memorable as Guernica. Its undoubtedly been seen by more people. If you disagree with me, you’re simply wrong and I feel so unbearably sorry for you.

D.R ………………………………………………………………………………..

STOP PRESS 2 It’s the Third Coming as Eremenko menko menko returns to his beloved Killie. 99% of fans will be delighted to see him back either for his exquisite skills, his radar like passing ability or his hot wummin.

Let’s hope he has been looking after himself over the summer months as he was clearly unfit when he returned for the Second Coming. I’m not sure he will have been pounding the streets of Helsinki at 6am every morning but with Clingan out injured we could do with him from the word go.

I’m writing this the day before the opening game and another two signings have just been announced. Euan Smith is a versatile, tall midfielder previously with Hibs whilst Chris Chantler is a diminutive left back who was previously with Carlisle and Man City. The wee guy played on trial at Morecambe and looked decent although he is similar in height to Hooky. Welcome to Killie lads, can you try the new vanishing spray on the parasite chairman?

SCOTTISH PREMIERSHIP SEASON PREVIEW The World Cup has been and gone, must say I was quite impressed with it overall. The Commonwealth Games have been and gone and Glasgow did a fine job of giving the city and country a good name. It’s been a summer laden with sport but nothing compares to the real thing…….Killie back in action. The arrangements of the friendlies were a shambles but I made them all and you’ll see a wee report in this issue.

Nothing compares to the competitive games though so here’s a rundown of all the teams in the top division, giving their ins/outs and we predict what we think will happen: ABERDEEN In: David Goodwillie, forward (Blackburn Rovers); Scott Brown, goalkeeper (Cheltenham Town); Ash Taylor, defender (Tranmere Rovers); Shaleum Logan, defender (Brentford). Loan: Jeffrey Monakana, midfielder (Brighton & Hove Albion).

Out: Josh Magennis, forward (Kilmarnock); Scott Vernon, forward (Shrewsbury Town); Calvin Zola, forward (Stevenage); Nicky Weaver, goalkeeper; Craig Burns, goalkeeper; Scott Rumsby, defender (Stranraer); Stephen O'Neill, midfielder (Montrose); Matthew McMahon, midfielder; Alan O'Sullivan, forward.

Loan ended: Alan Tate, defender (Swansea City); Shaleum Logan, defender (Brentford).

The sheep were the most improved team in the league last season and McInnes hasn’t been shy in wheeling and dealing in the summer. They snatched Goodwillie who had been training with us but I’m not sure if he will recapture his good form or if he will go the same way as the likes of Riordan.

They have already been in action in Europe but may be knocked out by the time you read this as they faced Real Sociedad. Some folk think Celtic could wobble this season and if they do the Dons could give them most to think about. They will create one piece of history whatever happens as they will be the first opposing team to face Killie on the new surface at the Theatre of Pies…….I fancy big Magennis will net against his old team!!

League Prediction – 2nd

CELTIC In: Ronny Deila, manager (Stromsgodset); John Collins, assistant manager; Craig Gordon, goalkeeper (unattached); Jo Inge Berget, striker (Cardiff, loan).

Out: Neil Lennon, manager; Johan Mjallby, assistant manager; Georgios Samaras, forward; Lewis Kidd, defender (Queen of the South); Michael Miller, defender (Greenock Morton); Jack Kirwan, midfielder (Airdrieonians); Patrik Twardzik, midfielder; Patrick McNally, defender; Tony Watt, striker (Standard Liege); Denny Johnstone, striker (Birmingham City) Of course the big news for Celtic fans this summer was a freeze in benefit payments……no sorry it was the departure of Lennon, a truly great loss to Scottish football and Glasgow dentists. Looking from afar it seems they are doing things on the cheap as they brought in a manager that nobody had heard of. The guy may turn out to be a jewel but he’s started out like a nugget.

Rumours have persisted that Killie are still trying to get Jackson Irvine back but there has been nothing official so it may just be website mince. It goes without saying they should still have enough to comfortably win the league but you don’t get the impression this will go down as a legendary team!!

League Prediction – 1st

DUNDEE In: Gerry McCabe, assistant manager (Queen of the South); Kevin Thomson, midfielder (Hibernian); James McPake, defender (Hibernian); Simon Ferry, midfielder (Portsmouth); Gary Harkins, midfielder (St Mirren); Paul McGowan, midfielder (St Mirren); Thomas Konrad, defender (Eintracht Trier); Luka Tankulic, forward (Wolfsburg II); Paul McGinn, defender (Dumbarton); Greg Stewart, forward (Cowdenbeath); Philip Roberts, forward (Falkirk); Scott Bain, goalkeeper (Alloa Athletic); Grant Adam, goalkeeper (Airdrieonians).

Out: Dan Twardzik, goalkeeper (Motherwell); Christian Nade, forward (Raith Rovers); Declan Gallagher, defender (Livingston); Ryan Conroy, midfielder (Raith Rovers); John Gibson, goalkeeper (Alloa Athletic); Steven Doris, forward (Stirling Albion); Gavin Rae, midfielder; Craig Beattie, forward; Stephen O'Donnnell, midfielder; Stephen Hughes, midfielder; Matt Lockwood, defender; Sean BonnettJohnson, midfielder; Leighton McIntosh, forward. Loan: Jamie Reid, midfielder (Stenhousemuir). Loan ended: Adam Cummings, defender (Motherwell).

It’s going to be hard work for Dundee fans to remember all the new faces although fat Gary will be easy enough to spot……..do you know he is the only professional footballer visible from the moon. Hartley has certainly earned his corn and I fancy they will survive hopefully only after an opening day defeat.

LEAGUE PREDICTION – 10TH

DUNDEE UTD In: Mario Bilate, forward (Sparta Rotterdam); Jaroslaw Fojut, defender (Tromso); Callum Morris, defender (Dunfermline Athletic); Charlie Telfer, midfielder (Rangers, compensation); Blair Spittal, midfielder (Queen's Park), Conor Townsend, defender (Hull City, loan); Michal Szromnik, goalkeeper (Arka Gydnia) Out: Ryan Gauld, midfielder (Sporting Lisbon, £3m); Gavin Gunning, defender (Birmingham City); Morgaro Gomis, midfielder (Hearts); Dale Hilson, forward (Forfar Athletic); Mark Millar, midfielder; Ross Gilmour, defender; Jordan Allan, forward (Greenock Morton); Mark Russell, midfielder; Phil Anderson, defender; Luke Johnston, defender. Loan ended: Farid El Alagui, forward (Brentford); Chris Erskine, midfielder (Partick Thistle), Andrew Robertson, defender (Hull City, £2.85m) Firstly I must congratulate the arabs for some excellent activity in the summer.

They brought in almost £6m for two youngsters, that is probably how most Scottish teams should look to operate although I’m sure the fans wish they had kept them for a year or two longer.

They were decent last year and will almost certainly be up there challenging for the European places.

LEAGUE PREDICTION – 3rd HAMILTON ACCIES In: Dougie Imrie, forward (Morton); Michael McGovern, goalkeeper (Falkirk); Danny Redmond, midfielder (Wigan Athletic); Darren Hill, goalkeeper (Forfar Athletic, undisclosed); Kieran MacDonald, midfielder (Clyde); Jack Simpson, midfielder (Hearts).

Out: Kevin Cuthbert, goalkeeper (Raith Rovers); Lee Kilday, defender (Greenock Morton); Craig Johnston, forward. Loan ended: Paul George, midfielder (Celtic).

If they adopt the same tactics they did the last time they were up it will be complete and utter misery every time we play them. Billy Reid encouraged time wasting in the warm ups so I hope the new boss has brought a more positive attitude. To be fair they did well against Hibs to get through but I fancy they will struggle even though they are normally stuffy and hard to beat.

LEAGUE PREDICTION – 12th

INVERNESS C.T. In: Ryan Baptie, defender (Hibernian).

Out: Conor Pepper, midfielder (Greenock Morton); Matthew Cooper, defender (Elgin City).

The fans cant be getting too excited about their transfer action so far but maybe they will have a late flurry of activity. They were top 6 last time and should be there or thereabouts again without being over impressive. I do hope they stay up as I do like a wee jaunt up there!

LEAGUE PREDICTION – 6th

KILLIE

In: Gary Locke, assistant manager (Hearts); Josh Magennis, forward (Aberdeen); Jamie Hamill, midfielder (Hearts); Paul Cairney, midfielder (Hibernian); Mark Connolly, defender (Crawley Town); Lee Miller, forward (Carlisle United); Tope Obadeyi, midfielder (Bury).

Out: Sandy Clark, assistant manager; Kris Boyd, forward (Rangers); Jeroen Tesselaar, defender (St Mirren); Antonio Reguero, goalkeeper (Ross County); James Fowler, defender-coach (Queen of the South); Sean Clohessy, defender (Colchester United); Willie Gros, forward (Oldham Athletic); Rory McKeown, defender (Raith Rovers); Barry Nicholson, midfielder; Darren Barr, defender; Ismael Bouzid, defender. Loan ended : Jackson Irvine, midfielder (Celtic); Michael Gardyne, forward (Dundee United); David Moberg Karlsson, (Sunderland); Vitalijs Maksimenko, defender (Brighton & Hove Albion).

Well where do we start, the big positive for me is the exit of Clark as assistant manager. He seemed to be a dinosaur and I’m hoping AJ will be happier with Locke beside him in the dugout. The exit of Boyd is the obvious negative and it remains to be seen if we can replace his impressive goal tally from last season.

Having seen the pre season games I think there is an opportunity for some of our squad to take on a bit more responsibility rather than looking for Boyd all the time. Magennis had weighed in with a couple of goals so hopefully he will hit the ground running. Defensively we have been ok but I must stress that I would never make a final judgment based on glorified training sessions. Connelly has looked ok but I have been a bit surprised that Pasca seems to be the preferred partner at centre back.

We used two trialist full backs at Morecambe with left back Chris Chantler looking lively. Jamie McAllister has also been on trial for a few weeks so it will be no surprise to see a new left back before we head for Dens Park.

In the middle of the park wee Chis Johnston has been a stick out in all the friendlies and I fancy he might flourish on the new 3G surface. Slater has been decent as has Hamill but we will need to wait a few weeks to see Clingan who is injured. Obadeyi and Cairney will feature in the wide areas and big Tope scored a screamer at Morecambe, hopefully the first of many. I also expect to see Robbie Muirhead get more chances and weighing in with some goals.

LEAGUE PREDICTION – 7TH

MOTHERWELL In: Dan Twardzik, goalkeeper (Dundee); Josh Law, midfielder (Alfreton Town); Lionel Ainsworth, midfielder (Rotherham United).

Out: James McFadden, forward; Shaun Hutchinson, defender (Fulham); Henri Anier, forward (Erzgebirge Aue, undisclosed); Adam Asghar, midfielder (Alloa Athletic). Loan ended: Lionel Ainsworth, midfielder (Rotherham United).

Well have been remarkably consistent in recent years although there is a bit of a feeling that they may go backwards rather than forward this season. They have already and a humiliating Euro exit and so far they haven’t brought in many fresh faces. They sneaked into 2nd place with about the last kick of the season but I’ll be very surprised if they repeat that feat.

LEAGUE PREDICTION – 5th PARTICK THISTLE In: Ryan Stevenson, midfielder (Hearts); Abdul Osman, midfielder (Crewe Alexandra).

Out: Aaron Taylor-Sinclair, defender (Wigan Athletic); Darren Brownlie, defender (Cowdenbeath); Lee Mair, defender (Dumbarton); Ross Meechan, defender (Stenhousemuir); Caolan McAleer, midfielder (East Fife); Jamie Hamilton, midfielder; Anthony McGuigan, defender; Ross Meechan, defender. Loan ended: Prince Buaben, midfielder (Carlisle United); Chris Erskine, midfielder (Dundee United); George Moncur, midfielder (West Ham United); Lyle Taylor, forward (Sheffield United). Loan: Ryan Scully, goalkeeper (Dunfermline Athletic).

You would expect they will still have some new faces to bring in as many have headed whilst they have brought in a scum fan plus one other. They did ok last year but there is always a danger of second season syndrome so I’m in two minds about them. Like Killie scoring goals may be an issue but they played some nice stuff at times so I think they will avoid the bottom two places.

LEAGUE PREDICTION – 8th ROSS COUNTY IN: Jordi Balk, defender (Utrecht), Tim Dreesen, defender (Fortuna Sittard), Ben Frempah, midfielder (Leicester City); Liam Boyce, forward (Cliftonville); Joe Cardle, midfielder (Raith Rovers); Jake Jervis, forward (Portsmouth); Antonio Reguero, goalkeeper (Kilmarnock); James Fenlon, defender (AFC Wimbledon).

Out: Neale Cooper, assistant manager; Ben Gordon, defender (Colchester United); Alex Cooper, defender (Falkirk); Gary Glen, forward (Livingston); Michael Fraser, goalkeeper (Elgin City); Evangelos Oikonomou, defender; Brian McLean, defender; Gordon Finlayson, defender (Elgin City). Loan ended: Filip Kiss, midfielder (Cardiff City); Yann Songo'o, defender (Blackburn Rovers); Jordan Slew, forward (Blackburn Rovers); Erik Cikos, defender (Slovan Bratislava); Michael Tidser, midfielder (Rotherham United).

Without checking records this lot must have the biggest turnover of players in the country. They must have contacts all over the place as they bring in guys from far and wide………unlike Gary Harkins who is fat and wide. They do well considering they have a small fan base but I think they may find it tough this season so I’ll stick them in as the play off spot contenders.

LEAGUE PREDICTION – 11TH ST JOHNSTONE In: None Out: Nigel Hasselbaink, forward; Paddy Cregg, midfielder; Tim Clancy, defender; Chris Iwelumo, forward (Chester); Scott Gray, midfielder (Airdrieonians); Andrew Steeves, defender (Forfar Athletic). Loan: Zander Clark, goalkeeper (Queen of the South). Loan ended: James Dunne, midfielder (Stevenage); Mark Davies, midfielder (Nottingham Forest).

I was impressed with Saintees last year and was delighted to see them end up with some silverware……the town’s celebrations reminded me of 1997 but not quite as good. They have done ok so far in the European games and I fancy they are in for another decent season. May is a good player and their hardest task may be holding on to him until the window closes.

LEAGUE PREDICTION – 4TH ST MIRREN In: Jeroen Tesselaar, defender (Kilmarnock); James Marwood, forward (Gateshead); Mark Ridgers, goalkeeper (Hearts); Ross Caldwell, forward (Hibernian), Callum Ball, forward (Derby County). Loan: Ellis Plummer, defender (Manchester City).

Out: Danny Lennon, manager; Eric Djemba-Djemba, midfielder; Darren McGregor, defender (Rangers); Paul McGowan, midfielder (Dundee); Gary Harkins, midfielder (Dundee); David van Zanten, defender (Dumbarton); Kieran Hughes, goalkeeper (Albion Robers); Chris Dilo, goalkeeper. Loan ended: Conor Newton, midfielder (Newcastle United); Josh Magennis, forward (Aberdeen); Adam Campbell, forward (Newcastle United).

This mob have been a bit like Killie in that they have been scrapping about the bottom six for a few years but have managed to avoid the dreaded drop. It was not a good summer for managers with the surname Lennon and their wee ned has been punted. I’m not too disappointed to see Tesselar back there and it will be interesting to see how he performs back in the black and white stripes.

LEAGUE PREDICTION – 9TH

WHERE ARE THEY NOW? STEVIE MURRAY The wee man divided opinion among the Killie fans but he provided some great entertainment especially in the first season when he burst on the scene. Sadly it is very difficult to make a living at the top level when you are so short…….you really have to be exceptional.Wee Stevie tumbled down the leagues when he left Killie and I had no idea what he was up to these days. That was until my big mate Stewart got talking to a customer in Rainbow Ink recently. The guy was looking for a new car and went into a garage when he was approached by a rather small dark haired salesman.

The Killie fan instantly recognized Stevie and the wee man was beaming with pride that he had been recognized. He went over to his desk and pulled out a Young Player of the Year award from his time at Killie, something he is still immensely proud of. It seems he loved his time at Killie and was happy to chat at length about his time down here………..I’ve no idea if the guy got a new car or not but it was good to catch up with our pocket sized winger.

KEVIN KYLE Another player who divided the support but he single handedly kept us up in his first season. You may have read in the papers recently that he has now chucked the game and is working on a ship. The press was having a dig at him for this, personally I’d say well done to him for getting off his arse and earning a crust.

TALES OF THE PURPLE KILLIE BOY (Writes Killieboy)

So I’ll take you back to the end of season 2012/2013, Kenny Shiels had just left the club, the fans were enraged. Their league cup winning manager had been driven out the club at the hands of the ever popular chairman. Years of treating fans with contempt many found the exit of Kenny to be the straw that broke the camel’s back. Fans began to withhold season ticket and all other monetary contributions to the club in the much talked about NAPM movement. This was seen as the only way it was going to affect Michael Johnston as he continued to draw money from the club when he had put very little into the club and continued to hold the club to ransom to prospective buyers.

It was with a heavy heart I decided to not attend home games as a walk up fan as I had done for the previous 3 seasons after have a season ticket for the 15 seasons before that. A very tough decision as I’d only ever known watching Killie at Rugby Park and on the road for the last 18 years.

Now I’ve probably digressed a bit from what my actual main point here and you’re probably thinking what the hell does purple have to do with Killie?

Now let me explain, as I continued with the NAPM approach and the team’s on field performance left a lot to be desired I decided I’d explore some alternative sports in Ice Hockey, Rugby and Basketball and that is where the purple comes in. The first of which was ice hockey and I went to see The Braehead Clan at The Braehead Arena (they play in purple ;) if you didn’t already get that). I had fancied going along for a while and with the lack of attendance from me at Rugby Park it seemed the perfect time to try it out.

I went along to a match at Christmas versus Belfast Giants with my girlfriend Lauren not really knowing what to expect. The match was being billed as the first ever sell-out at the arena and the first over 3000. A fantastic achievement for a club only 4 years old in a niche sport like Ice Hockey whilst sitting in the shadows of Sevco, Celtic, Partick Thistle and St Mirren and in my case Kilmarnock. It was a thrilling match which ended in a narrow 6-5 defeat for The Clan.

The whole game night experience seemed worlds apart from what I’d ever been to at Rugby Park in the last few years. The apathy and lack of atmosphere around Rugby Park made going to games feel like a complete chore and for the last couple of seasons even when we won the League Cup and beyond it was done out of blind loyalty to the club I’d followed for 20 years.

Contrast that with going to Clan games, from the minute you park the car to the minute the final buzzer sounds there’s always an air of excitement around the place. Braehead Shopping Centre is filled with hockey fans waiting for doors to open, the chuck-a-puck and 50/50 sellers are doing a great job bringing in funds for the club. One of the major differences that are apparent was the club and fans were united working towards the same common goal – Doing their very best for The Braehead Clan.

Back at Rugby Park its full acrimony and disillusion with barrier after barrier in the way of fans who want to help to get towards that similar common goal that The Braehead Clan Family have.

Ice Hockey was always a sport I played on the computer and never really took an interest in NHL or even the Super league in Britain. At the beginning I always thought this was going to be a passing fad and my girlfriend was just coming along to keep me happy but it has been the complete opposite the both of us are hooked Having made a lot of noise about our experience on social media we’ve had numerous friends wanting to come along with us something that literally never happens with Killie.

Over the last few years I’ve seen me going from having a good solid crowd of mates and family members drift away some already carrying out NAPM towards MJ before the backlash of 2013.

If your reading this without having attended an Ice Hockey match and are thinking about it don’t hesitate get along next season for sure you won’t be let down As the new season approaches I’m already excited for next hockey matches something I just can’t say the same for Killie matches at the moment. Scottish football is still on its backside, attendances continue to dwindle and relegated teams like Sevco, Hibs and Hearts are getting rewarded with TV deals after failing in business and on the park.

I’m glad the off the field troubles at Kilmarnock largely appear to be behind the club I firmly believe that the NAPM movement appears to have some affect in getting positive change with Billy Bowie clearing the debt and the new board members joining also can only bode well for the future.

One thing is for sure Scottish football could learn a lot from the operation at Braehead Clan. Following Killie or following The Clan will be a hard decision to make but right now I am firmly swaying towards the hockey but thankfully matches don’t start till 7/7.30pm on a Saturday so there as much chance I’ll be attending both next season!

Lets Go Braehead Lets Go KTID! Killieboy (@BenMcGrant on twitter) Hippo says – Thanks Ben and we look forward to see you back on the Howard bus in the near future. This is a fine example of the behavior of fans who are pissed off by the club/Scottish fitba and simply find something else to do……invariably the alternative will provide better value for money.

As I have said a million times, and will continue to do so, the biggest damage during Johnston years has been fans simply disappearing and not coming back. The money it has lost the clubs is incalculable and it doesn’t seem there has been a stampede for ST’s just because we have new directors on board. Anyway, I might actually take a trip to see the clan myself this season……..but only after a Killie game. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

STOP PRESS 3 It has just been announced that the new artificial has grabbed the attention of the RFU and Rugby Park is hosting a rugby international between Scotland and Wonga. I cant think of too many Scottish club grounds that have hosted both a football and rugby international. MJ was initially beyond excitement but then realized that it was Tonga coming to town rather than Wonga!

SPL 9/8/14 DUNDEE 1 V 1 KILLIE DUNDEE – LETHEREN, MCGINN, DYER, THOMSON, MCPAKE, KONRAD, MCGOWAN, HARKINS, TANKULIC (WIGHTON 88), STEWART (MCDONALD 77), FERRY (MCALISTER 75) SUBS NOT USED – IRVINE, DAVIDSON, MCBRIDE + ADAM BOOKED – NONE GOALS – FAT GARY 17 (PEN) …………………………………………………………………………………………..

KILLIE – SAMSON, BARBOUR, CHANTLER, ASHCROFT, CONNOLLY, PASCALI, JOHNSTON (EREMENKO 66), SLATER (CLINGAN 81), MCKENZIE, MAGENNIS, OBADEYI SUBS NOT USED – BRENNAN, O’HARA, CAIRNEY, MUIRHEAD + KILTIE BOOKED – BARBOUR, PASCALI + SLATER GOALS – SLATER 24 REF – S MCLEAN

CROWD - 7588

DICK OF THE DAY – STEVEN MCLEAN

A new season, fresh ideas, new faces but same old victims for DOTD. I always try and come up with something different for the award whenever possible but I’m afraid this wee dick gets the old

blood pressure soaring.

Don’t get me wrong, there were other candidates for the gong notably fat Gary for being fat Gary and bus driver Bullet for stating no food allowed on the bus…….there was almost a mass fat boy heart attack when he said that.

However McLean (son of killie stalwart Stuart) has been on the radar for a few years now as he genuinely seems to not like us. I made a point of watching his performance and if there was the slightest reason to give something against us then he would do it. Look out for him the next time he does a killie match and you will see the evidence. Perhaps the award will prick his conscience……prick being the operative word! >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> If you had asked me before the game I would have taken a point so no complaints from me about the result. It seemed obvious we were still getting to know each other and we will improve. We also missed Hamill in the second half as they were getting through us too easily. Once again a season opener in the city of Dundee brings a goal of the season contender, nice one Craig Slater.

BITS + PIECES I’m sure everyone that has met Jim Todd, East Ayrshire Provost will tell you what a great job he does for the town and the amount of time and effort he puts in would put the rest of us to shame. Well we are delighted that Jim is lending his support to the fanzine and he will have a page in the fanzine this season. As part of his duties Jim selects a charity each year to raise money for and this year his chosen charity is The Samaritans.

With this in mind we will be speaking to Jim with a view to doing a wee Killie fans night in the Howard with all proceeds going to the Samaritans.

I’ll be speaking to Jim this week and we will publish some more details in the next issue. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> We have also been speaking a lot lately with Kevin McGregor who runs the “Likes for Killie” facebook page. It’s about the town rather than the football club but as we always say the club is the biggest community asset in the town. We are all aware of the negative stuff so “Likes for Killie” is trying to add a bit of balance and promote everything that is good about our town.

Along with Kevin and others we will be looking to do some positive stuff and this is also an initiative that the provost is keen to get involved with. I’ll be advertising all details in the fanzine once we have finalized some plans but please join the page if you haven’t already done so. …………………………………………………………………………..

Saturday 6th Sept. sees the club launch its Hall of Fame where players who have made significant contributions over the years will be inducted. The dinner event is at the Park Hotel with tickets priced at £25. I’m assured tickets are selling fast and the Howard boozehounds have booked two tables.

SHAME OF HOWARD BOOZEHOUNDS

The best thing about following Killie these days is the away day jaunts. A good time is had by all even when we don’t get a good result but we urgently need to look at our recruitment policy.

A great squad of young guys from Kilwinning came with us a few years back (and pop back occasionally) and were quickly named “One direction” for their youthful looks and basically they are about five generations younger than most of us. One of the the One D boys was big Jamie (see no.8 above) who hasn’t been much recently as he plays football……for the buffs. To our amazement big Jamie fired one into the pokey v Killie kids so he is now barred for life. Although I’ve just been told he scored against the scum at the weekend………so the ban is lifted!!