KILLIE HIPPO
AN UNOFFICIAL KILLIE FANZINE ISSUE NO.148
AN UNOFFICIAL KILLIE FANZINE
ISSUE NO. 148
A PAIR OF LEGENDS
MOFFAT STAND NO MORE? A SUMMER OF REBUILDING
THE KILLIE HIPPO IS ON SALE AT HOWARD ARMS, GLENCAIRN SQUARE, KILMARNOCK FOG’S SNACK BAR, KILMARNOCK RUGBY CLUB CAR PARK KILLIE TRUST DESK (PARK HOTEL FOR HOME GAMES) MATCH DAYS AT RP + AT ALL AWAY GAMES
HUGE THANKS TO ALL ADVERTISERS, SUBSCRIBERS, DISTRIBUTORS AND KILLIE FANS FOR THEIR SUPPORT. All views expressed are those of the contributors.
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SHOOTING FROM THE HIPPO
It’s not easy being a Killie fanzine editor (boo hoo), I know you will have loads of sympathy!!. Just once in a while it would be good if we could finish a bit higher up the league and I could write a fanzine at this time without worrying as to what league we will be playing in. Now it goes without saying that that we should be safe but I’m too long in the tooth to tempt fate and having witnessed the shambles in Paisley, I reckon anything is possible. Therefore I wish to apologise if nearly every article in this issue is written in the assumption that we are staying up…pray to Watters that is the case. I’m writing this after the first post split game and we have just lost five games on the bounce culminating in one of the worst performances you will ever see. It’s hard to get your head round it all but the one thing that is hard to argue with is that we are a poor lot. There is no doubt that Boyd’s goals covered a multitude of sins last term and the fact that Tope is this years leading marksman tells you all you need to know. The three main strikers have been Magennis, Miller and Ngoo who have simply not hit the net on a regular basis. Magennis puts in a decent shift and can be played in other positions but I fancy GL will be looking to offload the other two in the summer. After we got back to the Howard we all had a good moan about the team and how it has been pretty much downhill since KS departed. There are quite a lot of players out of contract or can be released due to performance clauses so here is my proposal. We re-sign the promising youngsters like O’Hara and kiltie but get rid of everyone else who doesn’t have a deal for next season. That may sound a bit brutal and will be a bit unfair on one or two however the squad in general is simply not good enough and that has been the case for a couple of years. If we persist with the bulk of this squad I fancy we will be relegation fodder in a year’s time. The one concern I have with this theory is that GL has still not proved to be anything special in the transfer market. I worry that he is from the JJ school of transfers and 90% of his signings will be ex jambos or players he has worked with. I’m not anti-Hears a such but I’d much rather have someone like mixu or KS who spread their net much further and were able to find a few gems from all over the place. If you believe some folk on the forums we will be signing Jamie McDonald, Andy Driver and Scott Robinson, all former Hearts players who GL will know well from his time at Tynecastle. The bottom line is that GL will live or die on his summer signings, lets hope he does the business. You will see an article about the Moffat stand closing, a decision that appears to be rushed and not very well thought out. The new chairman wants more fans through the gate so this seems a poor decision….time will tell. Anyway have a great summer break, we will be back well refreshed in August. Sandy
TWO WORDS – “GUTLESS” + “BELIEF” There is a bit of a theme in this issue of the fanzine, something happens in the mad world of Scottish football that inspires me to write an article. The giro worshippers disgraceful behavior following their semi final defeat to Inverness really got my blood boiling but having just returned from a truly awful day in Paisley I reckon my large napper is just about to explode. If truth be told I’m writing this on the day after as I would have simply shot the whole lot of them last night!! Picture the scene, Motherwell lose on the Friday night at Hamilton which leaves us with a seven point lead going into the game against St Mirren, a team who have won once at home all season and have basically given up on even trying to survive. Add the little matter of our 50th anniversary celebrations and you have what appears to be a decent wee day out followed by a few celebratory drinks as a win would almost ensure our safety. Sadly that was all a pipe dream as we turned in what was one of the worst performances in living memory, especially the first half showing. The old memory plays tricks all the same and there have been several horrible performances in recent years namely a gubbing from doomed Gretna at Fir Park, a hammering by doomed Hearts at Tynecastle last season and more recently a pathetic showing against Sevco in the Scottish Cup with a big Killie following to witness it. The most recent one always seems the worst and I honestly feel mentally damaged by having to watch what can only be described as one of the most gutless performances I’ve ever witnessed. St Mirren have already released some players as they prepare for life in the Championship and they were throwing in some youngsters as to all intents and purposes this was a meaningless game as they have already accepted relegation. From the first minute we lacked energy, desire, shape and belief and you could probably have made three substitutions in the first half hour. We then made endless defensive mistakes that saw the buddies two up and me getting ready to write to the SFA to demand a drug test for our team.
It really was jawdroppingly (is that a word?) bad and many fans were seen heading for the boozer before the team appeared for the second half…..I couldn’t possibly comment!! We briefly had hope as Magennis scored a belter but it was all short lived and St mirren must be scratching their heads and asking how a team as bad as Killie are so far above them. There is no doubt that Locke must be given time to bring in his own players and develop his own style but you have to question his motivational ability on the evidence of this showing. We were totally gutless and that is hard to fathom when you realize we can still be dragged into the play offs if we “do a hibs”. The one thing I have noticed since the departure of Kenny Shiels is the total lack of belief in the team at certain times. Of course KS had his faults but he had everything that our new chairman apparently wants namely: a “Killie way” of playing, a trust in playing youngsters and a long term plan that will bring consistency for all teams including the youths. Under KS we went into games against both bigots truly believeing we were good enough to win and that was reflected in wins at Parkhead, Ibrox and that famous final at Hampden. This was in stark contrast to these games under both AJ and JJ when we looked defeated before we took the park…..I truly hope GL doesn’t also fall into this category. This is all part of man management and ensuring that players go onto the park with a clear plan, a desire to bust a gut and that belief that you can score more than the other lot. I don’t get that vibe at the moment and the nature of the defeat in Paisley was very worrying – there was no obvious plan, nobody showing leadership and busting a gut and absolutely no chance that we were going to win. It is very early days under the new manager and I don’t go with all the criticism that he got after Paisley, he must be given time and it will be crucial to see how he performs in the summer transfer window but there are some early worrying signs. The appointment of an assistant has been delayed and both Scott Severin and Alan Combe have been rumoured. Given our current position I’d suggest the sooner we appoint a number two the better. Hopefully we will sort the mess out in the next week or two but there is a huge challenge ahead as we will be relegation favourites for next season unless there is major change and improvement.
10 WAYS TO IMPROVE FOOTBALL We all have our own ideas on how to improve the beautiful game, not just here in Scotland but all around the globe. Off the top of my fat heid the things that would go into my own personal Room 101 would be crap refs, SFA/SPFL beaks, refs not being allowed to explain decisions and Scott Brown!! Of course there are a million things that could be done off the field to get more fans back. On the field is equally confusing and we need to clarify the offside rule to make it easier for everyone, clarify the hand ball rule for the same reason and introduce technology to ensure critical decisions are accurate. Author Richard Foster recently gave his thought on how we could make things better, here are his thoughts: 10. Bring back proper Drop Balls We have all had enough of this uncontested drop ball nonsense, whereby the team concedes possession to their opponent. What we really yearn for is the full-blooded combat where as soon as the ball touches the ground the two protagonists unleash ferocious hacks at each other’s shins. That’s entertainment. 9. Stop the non-celebration of goals There has been a growing movement where former players who score against their old clubs go all bashful ‘out of respect’ to their erstwhile employers and do not celebrate their goal. This has become an epidemic and we now have to witness endless displays of this faux behaviour. Such a practice has now become a major irritant, especially when the player in question has only spent a couple of months on loan over five years ago.
8. Get rid of Blatter If FIFA was not such a tragedy it would make for an hilarious comedy. Quite how an organisation as corrupt and rotten still manages to exert its putrid power over football is a mystery. Regardless of the swathe of justified complaints about how it conducts itself, Sepp Blatter remains unassailable at the top like some sort of grotesque Dickensian caricature blithely ignoring everything around him. Surely all decent human beings should unite and remove the man from his perch. 7. Introduce safe standing The legendary atmosphere of football grounds has been on the wane recently and many blame the anaesthetic effects of all-seater stadia. The argument goes that you cannot possibly chant, sing or even clap with any great gusto if you are forced to sit down. As with most football matters, the Germans have discovered how to tackle this problem by introducing safe standing areas and hey presto the noise has ratcheted up a notch or two. The Football Supporters Federation are backing the campaign in the UK and the added benefit is that if adopted, these designated areas will provide cheaper access to the games for all involved. 6 .Mike up the refs I have never liked rugby union but there are one or two ideas that they have adopted that could work in football. One of the best is the fact that you can hear the ref in conversation with the players, whether he is discussing the finer points of the rules or just exchanging pleasantries. If we could listen in to the conversations on the football field that would be illuminating/ entertaining/ hilarious. We might even begin to understand some of the more mystifying decisions. Just imagine being able to hear Mark Clattenburg explaining how he could not add on any more time because he had to rush off to an Ed Sheeran gig.
5. Burn half-and-half scarves There is no more annoying sight than the ludicrous tat that is the half-andhalf scarf. Originally intended as a memento for an amazing European cup tie, these things have become de rigueur for any old pedestrian match. The whole point of supporting a club is the partisanship, the taking up of sides and the rivalries that stretch back through generations. We do not want to be coupled with our opponents as if this was some sort of bizarre twinning experiment. When there are such items produced for Stoke vs. Burnley the tipping point has been reached and the mass incineration of all such items is required. 4. A winter break The idea of a winter break, as practised throughout Europe, has been mooted for many years but there seems to be a mental block over the notion. Nearly everyone complains about the ridiculous Christmas/ New Year schedule when games come thick and fast but nobody actually grasps the nettle and takes up the initiative. So we continue to plough on with too many games in terrible conditions and it gets to the point when even the most avid fan asks for some respite. So let’s please just try it and see how we get on, it’s got to be worth a try. 3. Get rid of ‘Bantz’ What do Richard Keys, Malky Mackay and Andy Gray have in common? No, apart from that. They have all, at some stage, fallen foul of engaging in so-called ‘banter’ that has damaged their careers. The very nature of the excessively matey conversations that come to be grouped under the banner of banter, or even worse ‘bantz’, is as valid a reason to have this stopped forthwith. However this sort of inane drivel is dressed up it does not cover up the generic idiocy of the exchanges whether they be by text, email, private conversations etc. There is literally no excuse for this even if they are behind closed doors. There is no justification for such imbecility.
2. Invest in grassroots football It is a national disgrace that despite the ridiculous sums of money that are sloshing through football that the level of investment in basic facilities and coaching is minimal. Any fool can see that without the fundamental building blocks and the necessary infrastructure it is nigh on impossible to develop a sport. It makes the wailing and gnashing of teeth when the national team fail at a major championship all the more pointless. The national teams will never succeed unless a much higher proportion of the revenues generated are geared towards the bottom end of the football spectrum. The impact will not be felt immediately, but the impact of not doing so will be with us forever. 1. Stop diving When researching for my book, The A-Z of Football Hates by far the most common hate raised was diving. It is considered to be the worst singular trait in which a player can indulge. It is the element of cheating that marks it out as the lowest of the low and yet in nearly every match there is some form of simulation, or an attempt to gain advantage from pretending to be fouled. The referees are put in an invidious position as they have to try to decide if there is a genuine reason why somebody goes to ground. More often than not players are hardly touched but still end up writhing in feigned agony with the sole intention of getting a free-kick and/or a player booked. The refs seem to be reluctant to book players even when they know it is a dive so there needs to be either retrospective action or the managers need to take a stand. Many managers talk about how they will punish their own players if they are guilty of diving but such brave words rarely lead to action. We need a concerted effort from everyone involved in football to stop this rot as it is undermining the game. Hippo says – It’s hard to argue with pretty much all of these I reckon, I truly detest the idea of half and half scarves. However as long as the idiots are left in charge there is little likelihood of the necessary changes being made.
CONSOLATION PRIZE
Following their recent defeat to Inverness in the Scottish cup semi final Celtic were presented with the consolation prize above. It is heartwarming that in these days of fierce competition that there is still a place for true sportsmanship. I did chuckle as the TV and radio pundits were going berserk at ref steven McLean after he failed to spot a stonewall hand ball that would have seen a penalty and a red card dished out…….we could have told them years ago that McLean was hopeless. Anyway I hope Celtic enjoy their new dartboard although there is one slight drawback if you look closely at it……..NO TREBLE.
PROVOSTS PAGE Due to his hectic schedule the provost has had limited chance to attend RP in recent weeks but he promises to do his best to get across before the end of the season. It’s been great to see all the good publicity and paper articles surrounding our famous league win and the town are making an effort as well. The Dick Institute is a fantastic building and something we should all be very proud of. If you are a Killie fan the there is a perfect reason to get along in the next week or two. I’ve been dealing with Ross recently as he will be helping us with our Kilmarnock Picture House project and on that theme there are some fantastic Killie pics currently on display at the Dick. Ross and his buddies wanted to make sure the 50th anniversary was properly remembered and there are some fantastic old photos in the display cabinets on the first floor. Get yourself along for a look and there is one photo you can maybe help me with. It looks like it was taken when we visited the USA in the 60’s and has some Killie players sitting in front of a Red Indian chief, has anyone got the full story……….makes a change from the cowboys we have in the boardroom!! Our KPH project continues to progress and we hope to have a wee satellite gallery at the railway station shortly. The main project should hopefully hit the ground running around September, you will hear more in the weeks ahead.
MOFFAT STAND NO MORE?? If you bought the last issue of the fanzine you will have read bits and bobs about the new chairman and his board. There is a cautious optimism among many fans that the new chairman will bring a bright new dawn for Scotland’s oldest professional club. Personally I’m a little cautious for two reasons: Firstly Johnston is still hanging around and he still holds about 45% shares so there is no way in this earth that he will simply allow a minor shareholder like Mann do what he wants. It would require Bowie to actually show some balls, get on board with the rest of the board and boot the parasite far into touch. Therein lies the second concern, is Bowie simply lining his own pockets through carving up a deal for the hotel or does he genuinely want to help the club? At the time he was looking to invest a year or so ago there was a consortium made up of Alan McLeish (QTS), Chris McMail (Microtech) and Kenny Alexander (wealthy lifelong Killie fan) doing all they could do buy the club. Bowie had the option to jump on board and Johnston would have had no allies to help him with his pension plan. Strangely Bowie chose to ignore the consortium. That tells me one thing, Bowie was in this purely to get the hotel and all his posturing doesn’t wash with me……he chose to jump into bed with the parasite and that stinks to high heaven for someone who supposedly wants the best for the club. It may well be that Bowie has had enough of the snake and if that is the case I suggest the sooner he does it the better. Regardless of your stance on the whole mess it cannot be denied that Johnston has chased away a large number of fans and as long as he is there many fans simply wont return. Additionally the longer he stays the less likely those fans will return…….I wonder if he is still pocketing his £80k plus?? Bowie is the one who can make Johnston disappear as they can all vote him off, it will be interesting to see if anything changes in the summer.
In the last issue we stated we were happy to judge Jim Mann on his actions and not his words. We do have a “normal” sized board these days so hopefully there is some sort of democracy in place but JM is the main man and he is the one putting his name to all the big calls. The one thing we can probably all agree on is that Killie, like most other clubs, need to get a lot more fans through the turnstiles on a regular basis. This is especially critical for Killie as we have absolutely no facilities with the bank after the hotel carve up. In short we can only spend what we bring in and if we ask for an overdraft we will receive a two word answer. With this in mind I was very keen to see the new season ticket deal which was going to be announced in April……much earlier than normal and rightly so. However as a prelude to the ST offer we were hit with a bit of a bombshell when it was announced the Moffat Stand would not be used next season and the current ST holders would be moved to the front of the East stand, near the corner at the Moffat end. Incredibly some fans were trying to promote this as a positive move……some folk are so desperate for positive news they aren’t thinking rationally. Moving a block of fans, many of them youngsters, into a poor viewing area that gets the worse of the weather is guaranteed to lose us more fans. The club attempted to say they consulted fans but I’ve yet to meet one Moffat ST holder who thinks they would be better off in the front of the East. The club then started asking fans what they thought of the move…..it has MJ written all over it. The club simply don’t learn lessons or don’t want to learn them. MESSAGE TO BOARD – IN FUTURE PLEASE CONSULT FAN BEFORE LAUNCHING INTO ILL THOUGHT OUT AND IMPORTANT DECISIONS. Of course we don’t expect the clubs to consult the fans on every decision but on major issues like this, where fans are being asked to move seats, there should be a thorough consultation. This would give them all the information they need to make a well informed decision and although you can’t please everyone, it would give the opportunity to arrive a decision that is sensible and acceptable to most.
As if they knew they had done the wrong thing the club came out within a matter of days and said they would look at giving the option of moving to a back section of the East stand. If I’m being cynical, the original decision tells me how out of touch the board are as every Killie fan I spoke to pointed out the obvious weather issues for the kids if they are near the front. I hope this won’t be the start of the Jim Mann naughty list but a bit more thought and consultation needs to be the norm from now on. The announcement made the ST deal even more important as it needed to be pretty special to capture the imagination of the wearied fan base. I’m sure most of you have seen the deal but for those who haven’t here it is: 2015/16 Season Ticket Prices
Price up to 17 May Adult
£280 (save £50)
Over 65
£160 (save £50)
Under 21
£160 (save £50)
Under 16
£35
FREE Under 16*
£0
QTS Family First** (up to two adults and two under 16s)
£290 (save £50)
Price up to 3o June Adult Over 65 Under 21 Under 16 Free Under 16 QTS Family First
£315 £195 £195 £55 £0 £325
Price from 1st July £330 £210 £210 £65 £0 £340
There are options to pay the tickets up over 5 and 10 months so that will make it more affordable to many…….there will be an extra admin cost for using this facility. The club have made an effort and should be applauded for that but the million dollar question is will the offer to bring back a lot of lapsed fans. Only time will tell but my gut reaction is there may be a small increase but nothing significant. There are a couple of factors in play here that will decide how successful the club will be. There is the small issue of what league will we be playing in. I’m writing this with five games to go and we are 7 points above Motherwell. We should be fine as long as we don’t “do a Hibs” but many fans will wait until the outcome is known. The obvious issue is money and asking fans to fork out for next season when the current season has yet to be finalised. The option to pay over a period of time will appeal to many but once again we will just need to see how the fans react to the deal. One other issue is the new manager coming in and it will be vital how he performs in the summer transfer market. Back in the day we would sign a big name that would sell tickets on their own. Guys like Burns, Durrant, Cocard and McCoist gained us many more column inches and in turn got more punters through the gates. Sadly we don’t have the cash to go out and get a big name although if we could get a local business to fork out to subside the wages you never know…….there’s a wee task for our new board and marketing department. We have covered the on field challenges on another thread in this issue but there is a concern that a poor take up of ST’s will see the manager with a further reduced player budget. There is also the issue of Locke’s assistant and strange though it may seem, the introduction of a Killie minded guy e.g Hooky would give an extra little help towards ST sales. Those are the first couple of big decisions under chairman Mann and its one positive and one negative in my book. It was stated that the Moffat Stand costs us about £1k a game therefore we are saving around £20k over a season. Rather than close the stand I would have tasked the marketing department to bring in enough extra punters to cover that expense. The decision to shut the Moffat sends a negative message and I suspect our finances are not good………lets see what the summer brings.
SPL 4/4/15 KILLIE 1 V 2 M’WELL KILLIE – SAMSON, WESTLAKE, BARBOUR, SYME, ASHCROFT, JOHNSTON (EREMENKO 80), O’HARA, CAIRNEY (KILTIE 80), OBADEYI, MILLER (ECCLESTON 69), MAGENNIS SUBS NOT USED – BRENNAN, SMITH, CLINGAN + MCKENIE BOOKED – SYME, CAIRNEY + OBADEYI GOALS – STRAKER (OG) 17 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> MOTHERWELL – LONG, LAW, LAING, MCMANUS, STRAKER, AINSWORTH (CARSWELL 82), LASLEY, PEARSON, GRANT (SUTTON 58), MCDONALD, ERWIN (RAMSDEN 89) SUBS NOT USED – TWARDZIK, KERR, THOMAS + THOMAS BOOKED – LAW, LAING + PEARSON GOALS – PEARSON 38 + ERWIN 77 REF – E ANDERSON
CROWD - 4532
DICK OF THE DAY – SCOTT MCDONALD If you have read our DOTD awards over the years you will realize a great deal of research and information gathering is involved. We look at the behavior and lifestyle of individuals, we analyse why certain people do certain things and we highlight the deficiencies of the officials.. We did none of that on this occasion and gave the award to McDonald as he is just a wee sh*te. We have always been proud of our infantile and petty outlook and I’d like to think this is as fine an example as we have ever done. It may be his horrible accent, his former teams or his strange shape but congratulations ya wee wallaby humper.
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Things are getting a wee bit nervy as the teams below us go on a good run and the gap gets much closer. I though the first half was very entertaining, we played well and should have been on front. The second half saw their experience counting and the late goal was always coming…….I’m getting twitchy!!
SPL 12/4/15 KILLIE 1 V 2 DONS DICK OF THE DAY – TV + BOARD I do like ripping into the mutton munchers as they are a deluded bunch however credit where its due, they always bring a decent travelling support. Even when they were finishing below us regularly they still brought decent numbers in comparison to all the other plums in the league. The decision by TV to move this to lunch time on a Sunday contributed to the pathetic 3550 crowd and the inability of our board to attract fans meant what should be a decent crowd was laughable. A hopeless board in partnership with a money grabbing organization is a bad mix….dicks together. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
SPL 15/4/15
CELTIC 4 V 1 KILLIE
DICK OF THE DAY – WEE KAZ
For many years now many die hard Killie fans simply refuse to travel to this cesspit. When you factor in that its midweek and we are on a crap run of results then you can guarantee a miserable turn out…….and so it proved. My wee chum Kaz never misses a game but even she gave it a miss….to go and see Olly Murs! Sorry Kaz, you’re a real Killie legend but you are now the proud owner of a DOTD gong!! >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
SPL 25/4/15
BUDDIES 4 V 1 KILLIE
DICK OF THE DAY – EVERY PLAYER This was meant to be a day to celebrate our 50th anniversary league win but it turned into an embarrassment. We were like a badly motivated amateur team from the first minute and we never got any better. Along with many Killie fans I was raging and the players should hang their heads in shame at such a gutless performance.
A SUMMER OF REBUILDING Like most articles in this issue we are writing in the assumption that we will be in the top league again next season. If we do manage to find our way into the play offs we may have to fire out another issue so there’s another reason for wanting us to get a win or two right away and let the final few games be relaxing for a change. The one certainty I reckon is that the Premiership will be tougher next year than it is just now. I can see Hearts being a top six challenger next season and if we want to be fighting at the right end I suspect we need a fairly big change in personnel. I was quite happy with Locke getting the job but my one concern is how he will perform in the transfer market. The transfer ins and outs will ultimately dictate how we do next year and there is no doubt that there is plenty of room for improvement. On a recent thread on killiefc.com someone posted that the following players were out of contract this summer: Alexei Eremenko Chris Chantler Conor Brennan Craig Samson Craig Slater Greg Kiltie Manuel Pascali Mark O'Hara Nathan Eccleston Sammy Clingan GL will have his own thoughts but I’m sure there are a few of them wont be there next season. It could be argued that the three main men in the centre of our midfield are Clingan, Slater and Eremenko. I wouldn’t be surprised if both Clingan and Eremenko were both to depart, I’d be amazed if both were here come August. Slater is an improving young player and I hope we can get him signed up.
Other youngsters in the list are Brennan, O’Hara and Kiltie and I would like to see all three signed up…….it should probably be done by now as I can see others having a look at O’Hara who is playing well again after going backwards under AJ. Locke may have his own thoughts on our keepers and if rumours are to be believed we are interested in Falkirk’s Jamie McDonald who our boss will know from his Tynecastle days. If he does bring in an experienced keeper it suggests that Samson may not be getting another deal at the club but that is just guesswork on my behalf. I don’t like the idea that any names we have been linked with are ex jambos. JJ used to do the same thing and it sends the message that the manager doesn’t have a wide range of good contacts and simply goes after folk he knows or has worked with in the past. The signings of ex jambos like Ngoo and Hamill may well have been influenced by GL and neither has exactly been a sparkling success….Andy Driver is the latest rumour. If we look at each area of the pitch it seems we need to strengthen in all areas if we want to be granting our chairman’s wishes and battling in the top half of the division. In defence we will possibly have a new face but what will he have in front of him. I reckon Connolly and Ashcroft could form a decent partnership and Pasca may be re-signed to give us a bit of cover. Young David Syme has come in and gained good experience and we have another decent youngster Adam Hodge who can play there. The right full back position has been an issue for a few years now with nobody making that place their own. Barbour has been ok but no better than that and O’Hara can play there but it’s not his best position in my opinion. At left back Chantler has done ok but GL may fancy bringing someone in……….the budget will be the deciding factor in all these decisions. Midfield is a crucial area and it’s where the battles are won or lost……..in recent weeks I reckon this is where we have lost games by losing the midfield scrap. Our recent game at home to Motherwell was a fine example, we were the better team in the first half and should have led but they put an extra man in midfield after the break and dominated the game. It seems to me we are lacking legs in midfield hence I don’t see Clingan and Eremenko both being here next season…….as I say I wouldn’t be surprised if both left.
One name being mentioned was Scott Robinson from Hearts. I’m not sure exactly where he plays but we badly need a box to box player and someone who can break up the opposition play. We also need to close down the opposition much quicker at times and Clingan and Eremenko (who I both like) simply don’t have the legs for it. Our wide men are Tope and Johnston and both have been regular starters since GL took over. Tope is an enigma, he can look like a world beater or a pub player all in one run down the wing!! He is under contract and I expect him to be a starter most of the time. There is no doubt he has his faults but he is our top scorer this season which tells you all you need to know about our strike force. I like Chris Johnston and thought he would be a big player for us this season but he went backwards under AJ. I will keep faith in him and predict he will blossom next year. The hardest thing to do in football is score goals and we have proved that more than most this season. We couldn’t score in the Garage on a Saturday night and that’s bleak!! Some papers have been reporting that we are back in for Boyd and I would take him back for a third spell even though he left us for the Govan gangsters. He still has a few years left in him so with a good pre-season behind him I reckon he will still score goals. The sale of Muirhead was ridiculous but you can take it as fact that the demands of MJ made it fairly easy for the big man to move. Josh Magennis has probably sparked more debate than any other player this year. The big man tries his heart out but he is not a natural scorer and there’s our problem. If he had been played with the likes of Boyd beside him he would have looked better but when he is looked upon as our main goalscoring threat then we have a problem. Both Ngoo and Miller are under contract so it may not be so easy to shift them but that is what we need to do and get a couple of strikers in. That wont be easy on a reduced budget but hopefully GL can unearth a gem that will see us hit the net far more often than we have done this time around. I’m a bit worried about next year if truth be told but I’ll wait and see how we perform in the transfer market. I don’t know if there is going to be a St Mirren type team in the league next year so some shrewd deals and a good start to the new campaign could be crucial……..c’mon the Killie! Ps – just back from Paisley, bin the lot of them and start again!!!
KILLIE SCAPEGOATS I was listening to Talksport last week and they were talking about the terrible treatment that Gareth Bale was getting in Madrid. One of the Spanish papers even refused to award a rating after a recent game and Bale and other players had their cars attacked by fans after a recent poor result. Personally I reckon Bale is a magnificent player and it beggars belief that a guy who scores goals, sets up goals and could give Usain bolt a fright in a sprint gets pelters from the fickle Madrid fans. If he played at Rugby Park some of the East stand moaners would probably have a go at him for his hair band……..just as he scored his tenth hat trick of the season!! This all got me thinking about us fickle fans and how we love to have a scapegoat. I’m pretty sure every team has a scapegoat but it can be pretty depressing singing next to a fan who simply has a dislike for an individual and gives him constant abuse even though he may be man of the match. There are several reasons why players get excessive abuse, maybe it is down to a former team (especially one from south of Symington), maybe it is because he has an awkward style or maybe it is because he is total guff!! Other factors could be reputation, off the field lifestyle or in the case of Davie Dodds , just being pot ugly. Killie have had their fair share of scapegoats over the years, here are a few that spring to mind:
JIM BROWN For those of a certain age you may remember a humiliating 8-1 defeat by Rangers at Rugby Park and it would be fair to say our goalie lost his bottle. I do have sympathy for many of these poor dudes but in the case of brown he was pants. JOHN MCEACHRAN Apologies to our younger readers but John was another going back a few years who didn’t strictly adhere to a strict diet. He made me look like the gable end of a fiver and I suspect he wouldn’t be able to tie his own boot laces……since he probably couldn’t see his feet. Stevie Fulton The big ex Jambo was a talented player but suffered abuse from both home and away fan. He followed the same strict diet as McEachran and had an arse the width of your average hamburger van. He looked like he liked a hamburger van and he was never truly loved by the killie fans…..although he was loved by the Bellfield Chip shop owner. Gary Locke Our new gaffer got his share of abuse from many East stand wags mainly because he spent a lot of time on the treatment table. All a bit unfair if you ask me and I hope he has the fans chanting his name shortly. Colin Nish The big man was marmite, you loved or hated him. He would take a touch like a pub player then fire a beauty from 20 yards. Best remembered for creating his own rhyming slang e.g. “get him aff the park, he’s Colin Nish”.
FURTHER EVIDENCE OF WHY OUR GAME IS GUBBED Before getting ripped in to this article lets give a special bit of praise to Gordon Strachan and the Scottish team who are doing a fine job despite being governed by balloons of the highest order. Our national team has a realistic chance of reaching finals for the first time this century, all that despite being surrounded by incompetent, obnoxious and out of touch dicks. If you haven’t guessed already I’m writing this having just heard the SFA decision to ban Josh Meekings for the Scottish cup final…..arguably the worst decision ever in the history of Scottish football. Lets have a look at the actual facts of what happened. First of all we don’t think a ref and two linesmen are enough so we introduce two further numbnuts to stand on each goal line. We therefore have five officials (plus the 4th/6th) official to try and get simple decisions correct. Celtic lead 1 – 0 and just before it looks like it’s going to be 2 nil but an effort is accidentally stopped by Josh Meeking’s flailing arm and not one of the officials clock it…….although probably everyone else in the ground did. The usual pathetic paranoia ensues as the Parkhead tossers start throwing out the usual conspiracy theories. Listen, killie have had the misfortune to encounter Steven McLean on numerous occasions and on every single one he has been hopeless………no conspiracies but just incompetence.
I reckon I must be getting paranoid myself but I know if he is ref there will be some ridiculous decisions against us……I just keep reminding myself that its nothing against Killie, he is just hopeless in general. Of course Celtic being a fine upstanding and fair club decide not to accept they were beaten fairly but fire off a pathetic letter to the SFA duds asking for an explanation for McLean’s decision. The reply should have consisted of three words “HE IS SHIT”. The SFA being similarly obnoxious, clueless and pathetic come up with a response that no other country on Watter’s earth would provide…….they ban Meekings for the final. Well that will act as a stern lesson for the 6 officials who missed the most obvious handball since Maradonna’s magnificent effort in 1986 against our chums down south. Inverness should have had at least one other penalty in the match…….should we maybe replay the game as the SFA do anything they can to help big teams? It’s f*****g sickening and no wonder fans are walking away from Scottish football in their droves. The game and the folk that run it are a complete shambles. In much the same way as our parasite ex chairman they get away with it as they seem to be accountable to nobody, they are in it purely for self gain and they are a million miles detached from the true problems that need resolved. I truly hope there is a massive outcry over this unbelievable ruling and that Josh Meekings is allowed to take part in the biggest game of his life. This is typical of many issues in our game and at our club…….if you don’t recognize the real problem in the first place then you are never going to solve it.
KILLIE BITS AND PIECES The famous “split” in the league generates loads of pub debate and again this year it seems the beaks have been less than fair to Killie. Not only did they ignore the simple request for a home game on the 25th (arseholes) but we have ended up with 20 away games and only 18 at home. Perhaps this is just another way of noising up the universally unpopular Johnston but it could be crucial if we get dragged into the play off scrap. For the record this is the second time we have had 20 away games as opposed to the one time when we have had 20 home games. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Facebook, Twitter and all social media has its good points and bad points …….I was delighted to see the good side of it this week. I was contacted on Twitter by former Killie star Peter Canero, an excellent player who had to give up the game far too young due to injury. Peter is still only 34 and he got in touch to say hello and ask how the fanzine is doing. His dad always used to buy the Hippo and he has nothing but good things to say about both Killie and the fans. Peter asked me to pass on his very best wishes to all Killie fans and if we are still here next season he has promised to do a Hippo interview. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Just before going to print the word on the street is that Scott Severin is fave to be Gary Locke’s assistant. We heard a whisper recently that his assistant would be a younger guy who had fairly recently stopped playing. It goes without saying that we wish Scott all the best if the appointment is confirmed.
Now far be it from me to blow my own trumpet (oo er missus) but at the start of each season I always do a run down of the leagues and give my tips in each. It would be fair to say I’m not the finest fitba tipster on the planet……..you are talking about a man that fancied Brail to beat Germany in the world cup demolition last year!! Anyway lets put the English leagues to one side for now…..as my tips were pants. However our bookie bashing in the Scottish leagues is another matter. My tips in the four Scottish leagues were as follows: Premiership – Aberdeen to be 2nd at 7/4 Championship – Hearts to win at 11/8 1st – Morton to win at 9/2 2nd – Albion Rovers to win at 4/1 Predictably I didn’t have a dime on any of that but I dearly hope some of you lovely loyal Hippo readers stuck on a wee yankee bet. At the time of writing Morton needed to win their last game to win but the other three are already up. You can rest assured I will have zero out of 4 in next seasons “bashing the bookies”. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> The club held a 50th anniversary dinner on 24th April and it was a well attended night…….not by me all the same, NAPM to the hotel thieves. My wee boozehound buddy Kaz was there but like a few others was baffled as to why Craig Brown was guest speaker. Even Craig’s opening line was “I’m not sure why I have been asked along”…………hey ho, all in a good cause.
THE BEST LAST DAY OF THE SEASON EVER
You will appreciate I’m writing this before the post split fixtures start and I’m fairly confident we will be safe……but you never know. The scenes are above are 1993 at easter Road when we stayed up in our first season back in the top league and we have been there ever since. The game above was one of my favourite ver occasions and our nerve wracking last games against Falkirk and Hibs in recent years do nothing for my state of health…..mon the Killie.