Hippo151

AN UNOFFICIAL KILLIE FANZINE

ISSUE NO. 151

The Boozehound Choir!

. A LOOK THROUGH THE LEAGUE . KILLIE FC REPORT CARD . CLASSIC PROGRAMME FOR SALE £2.00

THE KILLIE HIPPO IS ON SALE AT HOWARD ARMS, GLENCAIRN SQUARE, KILMARNOCK FOG’S SNACK BAR, ANNANDALE IND. ESTATE, KILMARNOCK KA1 2RS KILLIE TRUST DESK (PARK HOTEL FOR HOME GAMES) MATCH DAYS AT RP + AT ALL AWAY GAMES

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SHOOTING FROM THE HIPPO

You will read in most issues that we do love a good football cliché, maybe not as many as the excruciatingly dull TV pundits but we still churn our some top class mince. Well the last few weeks of watching Killie can be summed in a burst of predictable clichés like it’s make or break time for the manager, you can’t win games if you can’t score goals and we have made up a brand new one……we’d be down by now if it wasn’t for Jamie McDonald.

I’m not long back from our first win at Tannadice and the relief at the end of the game was there for all to see. The players celebrated like they had just heard that last years bonus dispute had just been resolved. The delight was there for all to see and to throw in anther cliché…there’s nothing quite like a last minute winner.

In all honesty we did carry a wee bit of luck although for the second game on the trot our opponents benefitted from a dodgy penalty award. When the game was back at one each the arabs sensed victory and a couple of poor substitutions didn’t help our cause but McDonald saved us again before McHattie scored a screamer. The guy may well turn out to be a decent signing but most fans were just sick of us signing ex Jambos!

The transfer window is now shut and the loud and clear message is that we are skint and shopping in the bargain basement, if there is a transfer fee involved you can rule us out. We brought in McHattie after his release from Hearts then Conrad Balatoni appeared on the bench at Dundee Utd when there had been no announcement about his signing….its good to see the amazing Killie PR machine is still in full flow.

Some of the new directors had a meeting with some fans but it appears to have raised more questions than answers. It seems there is no benefit to the club through Park suite hospitality or the sports bar so my advice would be don’t use them unless you simply want to line the pockets of the parasites. The whole deal was a sham and was carved out for the good of the hotel thieves whilst putting the club in a very precarious position. The new board are toothless and until we get rid of Johnston and Bowie the club continues on a slippery slope.

One solid rumour I heard before kick off at Tannadice was that GL was offski if we were beaten that day. The reliable source informed me that a replacement was lined up and it was a guy who would be very popular with the Killie fans……Mixu would be my guess but that’s just my opinion. Locke got away with it and he needs to use that as a spring board to better things. Another poor run of results and I fancy he will be punted and a new man will be at the helm….maybe worth a punt at the bookies. Thanks again for your support and please keep the articles coming.

Sandy

LOOKING THROUGH THE LEAGUE Every year we take a look at all our rivals in the SPFL premiership and try and suss where everyone will finish. With the transfer window not closing until a month into the season it is always best to hold off a little and see how things are shaping up. We are having an in depth look at all the signings, it’s amazing the number of moves when I was thinking there was very little movement this summer. Of course there may still be a bit of movement with out of contract players……Killie may even be involved in one or two moves: ABERDEEN IN: Graeme Shinnie (Inverness), Joe Nuttall (Manchester City), Paul Quinn (Ross County), Danny Ward (Liverpool, loan), Josh Parker (Red Star Belgrade), Ryan McLaughlin (Liverpool, loan) OUT: Russell Anderson (retired), Donervorn Daniels (loan ended), Nicky Low (Dundee), Andrew Driver (De Graafschap), Kieron Gibbons (Livingston), Declan McManus (Fleetwood Town), Jamie Masson, Craig Murray (East Fife), Clark Robertson (Blackpool), Joe Shaughnessy (St Johnstone), Danny Rogers (Falkirk, loan), Jamie Langfield (St Mirren), Lawrence Shankland (St Mirren, loan) The Dons have had far more outs than ins but they do seem to grab players from some high profile teams……..as opposed to ex Hearts players I hear you say!!

They have started the season fairly well and I fully expect them to be in Europe again next season. They are probably best placed to make some sort of challenge The big question is can they pose a serious title challenge to the bin rakers….well they have just beat them at Pittodrie so they might at least get them a bit worried CELTIC IN: Dedryck Boyata (Manchester City), Saidy Janko (Manchester United), Logan Bailly (OH Leuven), Nadir Ciftci (Dundee United), Scott Allan (Hibernian), Tyler Blackett (Manchester United, loan), Ryan Christie (Inverness CT) OUT: Teemu Pukki (Brondby), Lukasz Zaluska (Darmstadt), Joe Chalmers (Motherwell), Jason Denayer (loan ended), John Guidetti (loan ended), Aleksandar Tonev (loan ended), Mubarak Wakaso (loan ended), Jackson Irvine (Ross County), John Herron (Blackpool), Holmbert Fridjonsson (KR Reykjavik), Paul McMullan (St Mirren, loan), Stuart Findlay (Kilmarnock, loan), Amido Balde (FC Metz), Adam Matthews (Sunderland), Liam Henderson (Hibernian, loan), Dylan McGeouch (Hibernian), Michael Duffy (Alloa Athletic), Darnell Fisher (St Johnstone, loan), Stefan Scepovic (Getafe, loan), Virgil van Dijk (Southampton), Eoghan O'Connell (Oldham Athletic, loan) Yet again they are out the Champions League before the season really starts and the knives will be out for the weirdo manager.

They will still win the league but they are far from brilliant and their defence does seem weak. It will be interesting to see what happens to the boss if they fail to get through the Europa League group…….if he goes he wont be missed

DUNDEE IN: Kane Hemmings (Barnsley), Nicky Low (Aberdeen), Julen Etxabeguren Leanizbarrutia (East Fife), Rory Loy (Falkirk), Daryll Meggatt (Alloa), Kevin Holt (Queen of the South), Nick Ross (Inverness CT), David Mitchell (Stranraer), Riccardo Calder (Aston Villa, loan), Rhys Healey (Cardiff City, loan) OUT: Kyle Benedictus (Raith Rovers), David Clarkson (Motherwell), Iain Davidson (Raith Rovers), Willie Dyer (Whitehawk FC), Kevin McBride (Airdrieonians), Paul Heffernan (Queen of the South), Kyle Letheren (Blackpool), Jamie Reid (Arbroath), Alex Harris (loan ended), Martin Boyle (Hibernian), Craig Wighton (Raith Rovers, loan), Jim McAlister (Blackpool), Stephen McGinn (Wycombe Wanderers), Cammy Kerr (Peterhead, loan), Simon Ferry (released) Hartley comes across as a young manager who knows what he is doing and I’m sure he will go on to a bigger club in the coming years. They looked good against us in the opening day but we would have made the Howard Fat Lads over 40’s look good. They will probably be challenging around the mid table places…..their fans will be delighted that they could well finish above the arabs.

DUNDEE UTD IN: Simon Murray (return from Arbroath loan), Justin Johnson (FC United of Manchester), Mark Durnan (Queen of the South), Coll Donaldson (QPR), Darko Bodul (SC Rheindorf Altach), Rodney Sneijder (Almere City), Billy McKay (Wigan, loan), Adam Taggart (Fulham, loan), Aaron Kuhl (Reading, loan) OUT: Michael Gardyne (Ross County), Brian Graham (Ross County), Keith Watson (St Mirren),

Radoslaw Ciernziak (Wisła Kraków), Kudus Oyenuga (Hartlepool United), Darren Petrie (Raith Rovers), Calum Butcher (Burton Albion), Jaroslaw Fojut (Pogon Szczecin), Nadir Ciftci (Celtic), Rodney Sneijder, Robbie Muirhead (Partick Thistle, loan), Henri Anier (Hibernian, loan) Congratulations to the arabs on becoming the first crisis club of the season, it takes a wee bit off our under performing mob. I’m just back from Killie’s first win of the season at Tannadice and United didn’t look like relegation fodder. However teams can get dragged down by poor results and the longer it goes the worse it gets.

It has been hard for McNamara as he sees his best players being shipped out about the place but that’s football and I’m not sure if he will see the season out. They have also sent out Muirhead on loan to firhill whilst Sneijder wins the Dick of the Summer award….what was all that about??

HAMILTON ACCIES IN: Alan Martin (Clyde), Chris Turner (Dumbarton), Antons Kurakins (Ventspils), Gramoz Kurtaj (Banik Most), Christian Nade (Raith Rovers), Carlton Morris (Norwich City, loan), Alexandre D'Acol (AEK Athens), Jamie Sendles-White (QPR) OUT: Blair Currie, Nigel Hasselbaink (Excelsior), Jason Scotland, Stephen Hendrie (West Ham United, pre-contract), Nico Sumsky (Airdrieonians, loan), Lee Lynch (Limerick), Jon Routledge (Dumbarton), Andy Ryan (Arbroath, loan), Craig Watson (Arbroath, loan)

Former boss Neil is doing a fine job down at Norwich but Accies have struggled since he went down south. They have had an erratic start to the season and I’m not sure how it will end though I do think it will be in the bottom six in and around Killie I suspect.

They have brought through some excellent youngsters over the last decade and guys like Crawford still catch the eye but the manager is finding it tough. I think they will just about have enough to survive but wouldn’t be surprised if they get dragged into the play off battle.

HEARTS IN: Blazej Augustyn (Górnik Zabrze), Gavin Reilly (Queen of the South), Juanma Delgado (Kalloni), Igor Rossi Branco (Maritimo), Juwon Oshaniwa (Ashdod) OUT: Danny Wilson (Rangers), Adam Eckersley, Genero Zeefuik (loan ended), James Keatings (Hibs), Brad McKay (St Johnstone), Scott Robinson (Kilmarnock), Dale Carrick (Kilmarnock), Liam Henderson (Stenhousemuir, loan), Jason Holt (Rangers), Liam Gordon (St Johnstone), Alistair Roy (East Stirlingshire, Loan), Robbie Buchanan (Cowdenbeath, loan), Kevin McHattie (Kilmarnock), Gary Oliver (Queen of the South) The word “Kilmarnock” seems to figure an awful lot in their list of players out!! They seemed to have steadied the ship off the park and that has now been replicated on the green stuff. They have had a couple of defeats after a flying start but I expect them to be top six which will be a fine achievement all the same.

Personally it’s fantastic to see a boardroom where business works hand in hand with the fans to work towards community ownership.

INVERNESS C.T. IN: Nat Wedderburn (Cowdenbeath), Jordan Roberts (Aldershot), Dani Lopez (La Roda), Owain Fon Williams (Tranmere Rovers), Andrea Mbuyi-Mutombo (Étoile), Iain Vigurs (Motherwell), Miles Storey (Swindon, loan), Tobi Sho-Silva (Charlton, loan), Ryan Christie (Celtic, loan) OUT: Graeme Shinnie (Aberdeen), Marley Watkins (Barnsley), Nick Ross (Dundee), Tarmo Kink (FC Levadia Tallinn), Edward Ofere (Boluspor), Ryan Christie (Celtic) Inverness are one club who appear to have a better scouting network than Killie……now that would be hard!! They seem to bring in unknown guys from lower league English clubs and they seem to do a job.

They have had a quiet start to the season and may be just out the top six this time around but I don’t see them getting dragged down into the nether regions.

KILMARNOCK IN: Scott Robinson (Hearts), Jamie MacDonald (Falkirk), Kallum Higginbotham (Partick Thistle), Kris Boyd (Rangers), Steven Smith (Rangers), Dale Carrick (Hearts), Stuart Findlay (Celtic, loan), Lee McCulloch (Rangers), Oliver Davies (Swansea City, loan), Connor Brennan (recalled from Stranraer loan), Kevin McHattie (Hearts) OUT: Connor Brennan (Stranraer, loan), Paul Cairney (Stranraer), Chris Chantler, Sammy Clingan, Nathan Eccleston, Lee Miller (Falkirk), Dylan Pooler, Euan Smith, Mark Thomson, Manuel Pascali (A.S. Cittadella), Alexei Eremenko (FF Jaro), Michael Ngoo, Craig Samson, Devlin McKay (Derby County, loan)

If I had written this before the Tanndice win it would have been total doom and gloom but I’m praying that win kick starts our season. It was a very welcome three points and we played much better however the defence still looks wide open at times. The keeper has been outstanding all season and it’s about time he was given a bit more protection….especially from the defensive midfield area.

I reckon any neutral looking into the league would probably say Killie’s luck is due to run out and it’s our turn for some misery.

That may well be true as I have lost all faith in both board and management but things can change quickly. I think talk of top six is a pipe dream and it looks like we are in for another season like so many recently i.e. a fight for survival.

MOTHERWELL IN: Joe Chalmers (Celtic), David Clarkson (Dundee), Wes Fletcher (York City), Louis Laing (Nottingham Forest), Louis Moult (Wrexham), Kieran Kennedy (Leicester City), Connor Ripley (Middlesbrough, loan), Jake Taylor (Reading, loan), Theo Robinson (Doncaster Rovers), Liam Grimshaw (Manchester United, loan) OUT: Lee Erwin (Leeds United), Stuart Carswell (St Mirren), Adam Cummins, Zaine Francis-Angol, Conor Grant (loan deal ended), Fraser Kerr, Paul Lawson (Formartine United), George Long (loan deal ended), Bob McHugh (Falkirk), Mark O’Brien (loan deal ended), Simon Ramsden (Gateshead), Ross Stewart (Albion Rovers), Anthony Straker (loan deal ended), Nathan Thomas (Mansfield Town), Iain Vigurs (Inverness CT), John Sutton (St Johnstone), Steven Higgins (Queen of the South), Craig Moore (Ayr United, loan), David Ferguson (Annan Athletic, loan)

As you can see they have had a huge amount of players coming and going so like a few others (maybe Killie included) it will take a while for them to gel and find some real form. Motherwell went to the wire last season and having watched them beat us with a dodgy penalty I don’t think they will be bouncing back to the top six.

The manager doesn’t convince me and I can see them down in a battle once again. It would be fair to say they were punching above their weight for a few years and it may well be their time rather than ours. Time will tell but I foresee another season of low crowds and survival battles for the steelmen.

PARTICK THISTLE IN: Callum Booth (Hibs), Tomas Cerny (Hibs), David Amoo (Carlisle United), Gary Miller (St Johnstone), Mathias Pogba (Crawley Town), Robbie Muirhead (Dundee United, loan) OUT: Scott Fox (Ross County), Stephen O'Donnell (Luton Town), Lyle Taylor (loan ended), Conrad Balatoni, James Craigen (Raith Rovers), Dale Keenan (Stranraer), Ben Richards-Everton (Dunfermline Athletic), Kallum Higginbotham (Kilmarnock), Ryan Finnie, Chris Duggan, Jonathan Black, Jack Hendry (Wigan Athletic) As I write this the Jags are planted at the bottom of the table and if there is one team that may save our bacon then it might be Thistle. They are struggling to score goals and it would be ironic if it was big Robbie who reversed their fortunes in front of goal.

They should probably have beaten us at Firhill but they didn’t and I hope their hard luck stories continue for the rest of the season. They are my tip for the drop…..fingers crossed.

ROSS COUNTY IN: Brian Graham (Dundee United), Ian McShane (Queen of the South), Michael Gardyne (Dundee United), Scott Fox (Partick Thistle), Darren Holden (Hartlepool United), Stewart Murdoch (Fleetwood Town), Jonathan Franks (Hartlepool United), Richard Foster (Rangers), Chris Robertson (Port Vale), Andrew Davies (Bradford), Jackson Irvine (Celtic), Gary Woods (Leyton Orient, loan) OUT: Darren Barr (Dumbarton), Richard Brittain (Brora Rangers), Mark Brown (Dumbarton), Cameron Burgess (loan ended), Joe Cardle (Dunfermline), Graham Carey (Plymouth Argyle), Terry Dunfield, Benedict Frempah, Jake Jervis (Plymouth Argyle), Filip Kiss (loan ended), Jackson Irvine (loan ended), Abdoulaye Meite, Ruben Palazuelos (CD Guijuelo), Steven Saunders, Darvydas Sernas (FC Žalgiris), Paul Quinn (Aberdeen) Antonio Reguero (Hibernian), Steven Ross They have more folk coming and going than the methadone pharmacy in the Burns Mall but credit to Jim McIntyre as he has got them moving in the right direction. They also have a chairman who invests in the club and they will bring in even more players if they are struggling come January.

I’m not sure they will be down with us again, as things stand they have a bit more about them and a surprise top six finish may lie ahead…….its bleak when I’m predicting Ross County to be above us ST JOHNSTONE IN: Graham Cummins (Exeter City), Brad McKay (Hearts), Joe Shaughnessy (Aberdeen), John Sutton (Motherwell),

Liam Craig (Hibernian), Liam Gordon (Hearts), Darnell Fisher (Celtic, loan), Greg Hurst (Stirling Albion) OUT: Brian Graham (loan ended), Danny Swanson (loan ended), Lee Croft (Oldham Athletic), James McFadden, Gary Miller (Partick Thistle), Liam Gordon (Elgin City, loan), George Hunter (Airdrieonians, loan), Steven Banks, Scott Brown (Dumbarton, loan), Dylan Easton, Frazer Wright (Dumbarton), Kyle Lander (Stirling Albion, loan) Saints are a fairly well run club when you consider they survive on low crowds. They have had a few excursions into Europe and I fancy they will be top six again.I see big Fraser Wright has moved to Dumbarton so he can play every week. Good luck to the big man, an honest centre half and maybe the type of player we are missing just now.They also signed Sutton who we were being linked with….i think we dodged a bullet there!

That’s the run down so here is the Hippo prediction, please pin it on your bedroom wall and come May you can laugh at how ridiculously wring we were: 1. CELTIC 2. ABERDEEN 3. HEARTS 4. ST JOHNSTONE 5. DUNDEE 6. ROSS COUNTY 7. INVERNESS 8. DUNDEE UTD 9. HAMILTON 10. KILLIE 11. MOTHERWELL 12. PARTICK THISTLE

KILLIE BITS AND PIECES As I’m sure you have read elsewhere we have yet to agree a new contract for Kiltie and with his deal ending in January he is free to go and speak to other clubs……is this the “Killie Way” according to Jim Mann? It’s an absolute disgrace that we haven’t got a cracking young player signed up longer term as he has the potential to get us a decent fee in the future. We can dance about the elephant in the room as much as we want but as long as the parasite and his fellow hotel thief are around the club is a shambles………the players know that as well as the fans. This is a huge issue for me, if the club are serious about investing in the future they will sign Kiltie. If we can’t keep our good young players for more than a couple of years we would be as well padocking the gates just no. In fact I know some Killie fans who would still back MJ if he announced this and they would probably run down to Tescos to buy the padlock! >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> If you want a good days hospitality have a look around the local bowling clubs who do some great deals where you can get fed, watered, watch the game and get carried home in a taxi for half the money you pay at RP. The club hospitality generates money for the hotel only and doesn’t benefit the club so it’s a no brainer. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Here is a wee update on the goalkeeper situation – McDonald is excellent, Devlin is on loan at Derby, Brennan has been rcalled from Stranraer as on loan Davies dislocated his shoulder in training and Samson has been offered a deal at Motherwel….oh and Lekovic is still a legend.

PAUL SCHOLES FOR KILLIE? (writes Ruud)

What if Killie had signed Paul Scholes?"

I have often thought, what if time travel were possible? But what if going back in time in football and changing an event could, in turn, upset events that have happened since? Would it all be worth it?

This summer Gary Locke seems to be fishing from the ex-Rangers and exHearts ponds almost exclusively, while also trying to somehow unite the ponds with a few signings who have both Rangers and Hearts on their CV. It is getting harder and harder to remember when Kilmarnock F.C. cast their net further afield for talent, like in mid 90s when they went down to Manchester United to look at Colin McKee and nearly came back with Paul Scholes.

Yes, that Paul Scholes.

Not everyone reading may be aware of this urban myth/absolute fact but it’s my understanding that back in the mid-90s when then Killie boss Alex Totten went down to watch Colin McKee and subsequently spot Neil Whitworth and sign both in a double switch from Manchester United, he had his eye caught by a wee ginger guy at Man United’s training ground.

“Who is the wee ginger fella, wouldn’t mind him” is how the story goes (in my head) of Totten’s conversation with Alex Ferguson while they watch the first team train and discuss the transfer of McKee and Whitworth. “Paul Scholes. He’s yours for a million” Fergie replies.

Totten declines because Killie don’t have a million pounds to sign on one player and finalises the half millionish deal for the other two and heads back up the road, two Man United starlets in his back pocket from the “can’t win anything with kids” era and the expected plaudits of the Kilmarnock fans and media at such a coup.

You must have heard that story, it was from a bygone time where Scottish teams actually went down to the Premiership and paid money for some young reserve players rather than taking a wee lend of them for shop window purchases before they head back down to get booted about Walsall’s ground in another move to get them ready for the “greatest league in the world”.

But what if Alex Totten had actually signed Paul Scholes for Kilmarnock?

Bit of a leap here, but in movies the butterfly effect is a plot device commonly used to drive the narrative of some of its biggest films. It’s when characters travel back in time and change a moment in the past and it subsequently has a knock on effect on the future. Marty McFly rectifies a butterfly effect by having to engineer his parents getting together (after having arsed up their original first meeting by saving his father from getting run down by his grandpa after falling out the tree which he was up perving onto the road) as that particular effect would have resulted in him ceasing, in the reality he left in 1985, to exist in Back to the Future. Similar stuff probably happens in that Ashton Kutcher film too, but I haven’t seen it to confirm.

So what flap of a butterfly’s wings is needed to generate this “marquee signing” fork in history? How about at one of the fan rallies before the Moffat/Fleeting takeover, when Bobby Fleeting was describing a brave new future of all seated stadiums and top flight football, a fan from the future piped up with the pertinent point that an eighteen thousand seat stadium probably would be a bit big all things considered, maybe just over ten would suffice.

Now as a sound bite it’s not exactly awe-inspiring but nonetheless those words stuck in the mind of Mr Fleeting and when it came to the stadium roughly about half a million pounds was saved and put past for players.

Then on that fated day in Manchester when SAF (or AF as he was known then) offered up Oldham’s most famous fan, Alex Totten would say “yes thanks, a million quid is doable” and Killie would have a new number 18.

Eventually 18, most likely an 8 or 10 in the old numbering system we had back then.

History is changed forever and in the books it read that Paul Scholes signed for Killie and not McKee and Whitworth. Whitworth wouldn’t have scored that 30 yarder at Tannadice and McKee wouldn’t have been utter utter mince in the semi-final v Dundee United and subsequently replaced with Gary Holt in the replay. An outcome Scholes wouldn’t have had any effect on due to him being out injured (a broken cheekbone from training, a common Killie training ground injury back then) and missed out on the final which went the exact same way incidentally although Holt played both semis.

So Scholes or Scholesy as we would have known him as by now he would probably be coaching a lower league English club or appearing in an independent film (Andy McLaren in Angels Share anyone?), or driving a taxi or something, I don’t know. At this point you might be thinking that the move ended in a bit of a disaster for him given how his life could have (actually did) turn out.

He did get a shot at the Champions league though, as in 98/99 he came into his own after Christmas when everything seemed to fall apart in our timeline. In the Paul Scholes timeline he played his part in the midfield trio of Durrant, Holt and himself which took the first SPL title away from Glasgow since Dundee United done so when Jim McLean managed it with Hamish MacAlpine and a squad of six players or whatever that ridiculous stat is.

What a Euro campaign it was too, qualifiers then group stages. 100 years of Rugby Park celebrated in the Champions League… wooft! That’s a story for another day though. Of course, in 2004 he celebrated his testimonial year with a 12k sell-out v Oldham Athletic where he played a half for both teams.

Another lovely by-product of the move was that in the Scotland vs. England playoff he wasn’t there to score a double at Hampden and as such Scotland went through to the finals off the back of Don Hutchison’s Wembley header.

We never got out of the group stages though, some things never change.

You might be wondering what happened to the other people involved in this transfer back in 94. Well, Man United’s history didn’t change too much, without his goal in the 99 Champions League quarter final they still went through to the semi and then the final (which he missed due to suspension anyway).

In 2005 Quinton Fortune took the second penalty of the FA Cup final and scored meaning the spot kicks went to sudden death but Wes Brown hit one into orbit and the trophy was Arsenal’s like normal.

Without Scholes in the midfield Juan Sebastian Veron was a stand out for Man United along with Roy Keane and Argentina won the World Cup off the back it. I won £50 from the sweep I was involved in as I had them that year. A great tournament from the man the United fans called the Little Witch, so it was good news all round. England managers also caught a break as they didn’t have to go into every tournament begging Scholes to come out of retirement and as such leaving their actual midfielders feeling undervalued. They still won nothing though, which is nice.

Finally, Colin McKee and Neil Whitworth stayed in England and had reasonable careers, I think, I mean I don’t really know because they never appeared on my radar having never actually signed for Killie. Funny how that happens.

So there we have it, one mere flap of the butterfly’s wings back then ends up with pretty much the same for everyone except Killie get a league win, the Champions League tune gets played in front of a packed Rugby Park, there is a trip to the Euros for Scotland. Well, everyone bar Scholes himself who didn’t have the career he could have had, but hey, sacrifices have to be made sometimes.

History altered forever, all seems worth it to me.

Now what would need to happen to ensure that Killie never appointed Gary Locke…?

RUUD Hippo says – Thanks to Ruud for this fantastic wee article that sparks memories of better times…….whether it is true or not doesn’t really matter!!Colin McKee was a real enigma, I had a wee Motherwell mate who thought he was a superstar as he seemed to save his best performances for the steelmen.

Whitworth was superb in his first season and looked the real deal however illness and injury affected him badly after that…..happy times.

KILLIE FC REPORT CARD We wrote an article in the last issue looking at the manager’s position and asking if we should “stick or twist”. As stated before I’m not one for constantly changing managers but the record under GL has simply not been good enough and many clubs would have bumped him by now.

I reckon this is a subject we will have to cover in each issue as we are in a very precarious state and I don’t see us having a dramatic turn around any time soon. Our upcoming three home games in a week will tell us if the Tannadice win has changed anything, I suspect it will have to to if GL is planning on staying for a while.

I was talking to a well respected Killie fan at Tannadice who had been reliably informed that a loss against the arabs and GL would have been at the dole office on Monday morning. We allegedly had a replacement lined up and all I was told is that all Killie fans would be delighted with him. I’m guessing it may have been mixu but we will need to wait a bit longer.

I have lost all faith in Locke but genuinely hope that he proves me totally wrong and gets us climbing up the table……but I just don’t see it happening. The style of play was noticeably better at Tannadice and the inclusion of Slater, McKenzie, Kiltie and Higginbotham means we are a wee bit more mobile and have a bit of creativity in the team.

Locke’s substitutions were negative and could have cost us the game but McDonald saved our skin and GL should make sure the goalie has an extra bonus in his pay packet. Let’s see what the next few weeks bring but I’m assured our clueless board are unhappy with the results and a change will be made if we slump into another poor run.

In the boardroom we continue to look like twats and they have the ability of making a mess of even the simplest tasks, Our PR machine is still in need of urgent attention, we had a guy on the bench at Tannadice although no announcement had been made that he had signed……perhaps they couldn’t spell Balatoni!!

Jim Mann asked us to judge him on his actions and so far he has failed miserably. The actions don’t match the words and the latest farce is we haven’t got young Kiltie signed up and we could lose him for peanuts. JM said at the AGM the way ahead was to bring through good young players, get a good few years out them then sell them for decent money. Well we do bring through youbg players but they leave far too early and we get peanuts….a recipe for disaster.

If you have clocked the hospitality at games so far this season you will know there are about 20-30 folk at each game…….another disaster in terms of income. The truth is that the hotel benefits from the hospitality as well as any profits from the sports bar. I haven’t spent a bean in these places for a couple of years and never will as long as the money handed over will not help the club one bit and will simply line the pockets of the hotel thieves.

More and more folk I speak to see Bowie for what he is and I’m afraid along with the parasite he will lead us into financial ruin and a plunge down the leagues…sad times.

PROGRAMME FOR SALE

One of our loyal readers is selling his programme from the famous Killie v Real Madrid game from 1965. If you would like to make a genuine bid for this classic then contact Brian Smith at Kfcsmithers@btinternet.com

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> BILLY MUIR R.I.P. We are sad to report that another popular ex killie player has recently passed away. Billy Muir was a well known local guy that played with Killie between 1956 – 1962 scoring 36 goals in 175 appearances. Billy was a wee winger with plenty of pace and he received a Scottlish League cap while playing with Killie.

Billy stayed in the town and was well known by plenty of fans especially those who frequent the Kadikoi where Billy was known and loved by everyone. Billy’s son (Billy jnr) also played for Killie making 4 appearances in 1983. Our sincere condolences go to Billy’s family and friends.

SPFL 22/8/15 KILLIE 0 V 4 ROSS CO KILLIE – MCDONALD,WESTLAKE (BARBOUR 25),SMITH, ASHCROFT, CONNOLLY (FINDLAY 11), O’HARA, MCCULLOCH (SPLAINE 41), HIGGINBOTHAM, MCKENZIE, MAGENNIS, BOYD

SUBS NOT USED – DAVIES, KILTIE, HAMILL + SLATER

BOOKED – SMITH + SPLAINE

GOALS – ZIP

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ROSS CO – FOX, FRASER, DAVIES, ROBERTSON, RECKORD, GARDYNE, IRVINE, FRANKS (DE VITA 73), QUINN, CURRAN (GRAHAM 34), BOYCE (MURDOCH 62)

SUBS NOT USED – BOYD, MCSHANE, HOLDEN + BACHMANN

BOOKED – GRAHAM

GOALS – BOYCE 2 + 29, FRANKS 4, DAVIES 35

REF – D ROBERTSON

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DICK OF THE DAY – MCCULLOCH This has to be one of the worst performances I have seen in all my days of watching the not so mighty Killie. The opening half hour was the worst example of defending you will ever witness and it reminded me of the day we capitulated to sevco when they come down looking to win the league.

On days like this everyone annoys me and is potential for the DOTD award.

Locke could easily have won the award, Gardyne is a wee twat and was very very close to getting the gong. However the award goes to our assistant manager who put in a performance that highlighted why he should never pull on the stripes. If that is the type of player we reckon can improve our season we should throw in the towel just now…..totally embarrassing. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

OThis was worse than the Dundee game and that really is saying something. It looked like each player had downed a bottle of buckfast before taking the field as we staggered from one calamity to another in the opening period. Like the Dundee game it would have been eight had it not been for the heroics of McDonald. It was an absolute disgrace and the peg in the managers office has never shoogled so much.

L/CUP 25/8/15 KILLIE 4 V 1 BERWICK KILLIE – MCDONALD,O’HARA,SMITH, ASHCROFT, FINDLAY, HAMILL, SLATER (HAWKSHAW 88), SPLAINE (OBADEYI 80), KILTIE (HIGGINBOTHAM 79), MCKENZIE, BOYD

SUBS NOT USED – DAVIES, BARBOUR, MAGENNIS + WESTLAKE

BOOKED – NONE

GOALS – BOYD (PEN) 16, MCKENZIE 70, SLATER 77, HIGGINBOTHAM 90

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BERWICK – WALKER, MCNEIL, AINSLEY, FAIRBAIRN, BEVERIDGE, CAMERON (GRAHAM 73), LAVERY, GRAHAM (HOGG 90), COULTRESS, HENDERSON, MCKENNA (MORRIS 81)

SUBS NOT USED – RUSSELL, BANJO, WILSON + WALTERS

BOOKED – GRAHAM, HENDERSON + MCKENNA

GOALS – LAVERY 55

REF – J MCKENDRICK

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DICK OF THE DAY – BERWICK BUS DRIVER I was heading to this game still raging after the ross County debacle and I could just give the DOTD award who are still annoying me from Saturday. It’s good to get a Scotland v England game and this is our second meeting this season having not played them for yonks.

We had a cracking wee trip down to Berwick and the highlight for the fatties was the chip van inside the ground. Watching a Killie game when chucking a sausage down your thrapple truly is heaven on earth. As I stood selling the fanzine I burst into tears when the Berwick team bus drove past without the chip van attached to the back bumper. Appalling laziness from the bus driver and for that he gets the award. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

After our start to the season we needed a game like this simply to try and get a win and score a few goals….Higgy scored a goal of the season contender. In the past we may have thrown in a few young lads but you cany afford that luxury when you are playing like a pub team. We did get a bit of aa scare when they equalized in the second half but we were never in real danger and ran out easy winners……can we transfer this to the league?

SPL 29/8/15 WELL 1 V 0 KILLIE MOTHERWELL – RIPLEY, LAW, KENNEDY, MCMANUS, CHALMERS, AINSWORTH (JOHNSON 67), LASLEY, LEITCH (LAING 77), THOMAS, MOULT (ROBINSON 63), MCDONALD

SUBS NOT USED – TWARDZIK, CLARKSON, CADDEN + MCMILLAN

BOOKED – CHALMERS

GOALS – MOULT (PEN) 13

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> KILLIE – MCDONALD, HAMILL,O’HARA, SMITH (WESTLAKE 22), ASHCROFT, FINDLAY, SLATER, MCKENZIE, MAGENNIS (KILTIE 65), HIGGINBOTHAM (OBADEYI HT), BOYD

SUBS NOT USED – DAVIES, SPLAINE, BARBOUR + HAWKSHAW

BOOKED – NONE

GOALS – NADA

REF – S MCLEAN

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DICK OF THE DAY – STEVEN MCLEAN The announcer at the game gave out the crowd in the second half and mentioned that Killie had brought 484 fans to the game. That may seem ok in comparison to Inverness, Ross County etc but for Killie going to Fir park its depressing. We always take a decent crowd up there and taking less than 500 fans tells us that the foot soldiers are simply not buying into Jim Mann’s “Killie Way”. I was all set to give the award to our stressed chairman then I saw who the ref was……it’s a no brainer.

One dodgy penalty later and we have lost another three points with this imposter posing as a ref…….I hate him. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

There may have been a slight improvement but in truth it was two teams playing out what should have been a goalless draw until McLean did his usual and cost us the game. There was nothing in it during the opening half although we picked up after the break without really looking like scoring. The introduction of Kiltie and Obadeyi certainly made a difference although I fail to see why Kiltie doesn’t start as he adds a spark whenever he is on the park.

SPL 12/9/15 ARABS 1 V 2 KILLIE DUNDEE UTD – ZWICK, MCGOWAN, DURNAN, MORRIS, DILLON, DOW, KUHL, FRASER, SPITTAL (CONNOLLY 71), MCKAY, TAGGART (BODUL 70)

SUBS NOT USED – SOUTTAR, RANKIN, MCCALLUM, TELFER + DONALDSON

BOOKED – NONE

GOALS – MCKAY (PEN) 66

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> KILLIE – MCDONALD, WESTLAKE, MCHATTIE, HAMILL, ASHCROFT, FINDLAY, SLATER, MCKENZIE, MAGENNIS, KILTIE, HIGGINBOTHAM

SUBS NOT USED – BRENNAN, BARBOUR, O’HARA, BALATONI

BOOKED – FINDLAY, ASHCROFT, HAMILL + MCKENZIE

GOALS – HIGGINBOTHAM (PEN) 44 + MCHATTIE 88

REF – B COLVIN

CROWD -­ 8264

DICK OF THE DAY – JACKIE MCNAMARA There weren’t enough boozehounds to run a bus sadly so I had to drive which meant no drink…..even sadder! I should probably get the award for that alone however I was in a good mood (for a change) after the game as we headed down the road.

The radio Scotland guys went over to tannadice for a post match interview for McNamara, what a bitter wee fud. I can sympathise that he has had to sell all his best players but that is no excuse for talking pants after the match. If you hadn’t been at the game you would have thought it was shooting in and Killie had two attacks according to McNamara. We did have a bit of luck in the second half but overall we were positive and contributed to an entertaining match. Get it up ye McNamara and I hope your next signing is at the dole office. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

So that’s what it feels like to win a league match? It was hard fought, we got a bit of luck and the keeper was superb again but we played pretty well and hopefully this can spark a revival. The energy, enthusiasm and creativity of Slater, Higginbotham, Kiltie and McKenzie allied to some heroic defending from McDonald and Findlay saw us grab a great three points and with two home games coming up I have a wee hint of optimism returning……

COMPETITION WINNER

Thanks to all who entered our competition in issue 150 and the lucky name out the hat was Rab Richard. Tommy Burns was and still is one of my all time Killie heroes and the classic image above brings back some fantastic memories during the most enjoyable period in my Killie history.

There is nobody at the club these days with a fraction of the passion that TB brought to “this great club�. Well done Rab and I will get the champers to yu shortly.