Hippo160

KILLIE HIPPO AN UNOFFICIAL KILLIE FANZINE ISSUE NO. 160

THESE GEORDIES DON’T MESS ABOUT • • •

INS AND OUTS DICK OF THE SUMMER K-TOWN FRIENDSHIP

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SHOOTING FROM THE HIPPO Greetings all you lovely Killie fans, I hope you have had a lagertastic summer and you are truly refreshed for Killie “doing a Leicester” this season. If you bought the fanzine at the start of last season you will know that we tipped Leicester to win the league by 10 points, Iceland to hump England in the Euros and a moth invasion at the final……please don’t look back in your old hippo to check these all the same.

Last season was pretty horrible in general although we did get one lasting memory after our excellent play off demolition of Falkirk….oh how they must truly hate the sight of Killie. Before the dust had settled Lee Clark had binned about 75% of the squad and it will be fascinating to see how the new faces settle into the squad. There is no doubt that we needed a clear out although there is one or two players who will feel hard done by especially O’Hara. I’m happy to let the manager do his own thing however and see how it goes.

The hardest part of the summer will be guessing the managers first starting 11. From last season you have to fancy that McDonald, Addison, Dicker, Kiltie and Magennis may start most of the time but there are no guarantees. I’m not sure how Boydie will feature as we have brought in two new strikers, Coulibaly may well be the number one choice. Rory McKenzie is another who has re-signed but although he will be in the squad I’m not convinced he will start every well unless he can rediscover the excellent form he was in at the start of last season.

Once again (sadly) off field matters have been as lively as on the park and the bitter battle to remove the parasite carries on regardless. I’ll try and bring you up to date but there is a lot going on behind the scenes so this may be out of date by the time you read it. Following the club AGM there is an EGM being organized proposing a vote of no confidence in MJ…..mainly as he is blocking investment coming into the club. This has taken a bit of time as my old mate Higgy had to gather enough shareholders to call the meeting, not easy when so many shares are held by so few!!

I’m just back from the Clyde game and noticed that the parasite chose Royal Troon rather than Broadwood…….says it all really.

On top of that the KFCSA had their AGM and once again Johnston was there and scoring OG’s almost every time he opened his gub. There was a “no confidence” hand vote held again and from a crowd of around 80, only 2 people backed the parasite. There is also a Trust meeting coming up where members will be asked to support the call for the EGM. In all fairness nobody wants Johnston and if reports are to be believed Bowie is maybe eventually seeing this. I’m fairly convinced something will have to give but we could be entering another few rocky months ahead. As always thanks a million for your fantastic support that lets us keep going for another season……keep sending those articles.

Sandy

PLAY OFF REFLECTIONS Season 2016 – 2016 was a bit of a horror story in all honesty and in normal circumstances would be instantly forgettable. However the introduction of the play offs adds an extra bit of spice at the end of the campaign and for the first time Killie were part of the drama.

Prior to the games Falkirk seemed to be quietly fancied as they had seen off Hibs in the Championship play off and were a team in the habit of winning unlike Killie. Lee Clark had been brought in far too late by our stuttering and incompetent board so once again we were simply fighting to stay in the league.

It was quite entertaining to read the Falkirk fans forums on the lead up to the game as many of them thought it was just a case of turning up and the two games would be won. Their arrogance was incredible which I found amazing if you look at recent games between the clubs. Killie are their biggest nightmare as we have beat them in the Cup Final, League cup semi final and final day relegation decider in 2010. They quickly sold out their allocation for the Theatre of Lies, fair play to them, but they were then looking for another stand.

I’m surprised didn’t give them it but maybe he was too busy signing up for the Joey Barton fan club that day.

As much as falkirk were in decent form prior to the play off it should be pointed out that the play offs are weighted in favour of the Premiership team. Falkirk had the extra high profile games to play and the second leg being at the Premiership ground is always an advantage………not sure that’s the case with Killie given our home record!!

The first leg was on a Thursday night at their place and Killie filled the stand behind the goals to witness a tense and tight affair. It must be said Killie were the better team and on another day we would have won the game comfortably.

Needless to say we failed to take several decent chances and were caught with the proverbial sucker punch in the last minute. Their celebrations at the end were over the top and I’m sure Lee Clark pointed out as we prepared for the second leg.

In hindsight the late goal may not have been a bad thing as it dictated that Killie had to “go for it” at Rugby Park. Had we drawn or even won there may have been an inclination to sit in and try to hold what we had. As it was we needed a couple of goals so the players what was needed.

The day itself was bathed in glorious sunshine and I had rushed out a “play off edition” for the one game. Many of the away fans headed past me before the game and it has to be said they have their fair share of twats. I was already annoyed at their celebrations, their players tweeting as if they had already won and now by their obnoxious fans……it all made the upcoming trouncing all the sweeter.

I was able to get into the ground in plenty of time as the fanzine sold out early and the atmosphere was fantastic. The fact that I was seated down near the Falkirk end made it even better and there really was a feeling that something special was in the air. It was a throwback to when we got bigger crowds and maybe, just maybe, it gave the likes of Bowie an insight to what the place would feel like if they get rid of Johnston and get decent crowds back again.

Thankfully the team had been well prepared and came out the traps at a pace that the championship team simply could not handle. The place erupted as Killie bagged two goals in the opening seven minutes and turned the tie completely on its head. Magennis was simply too fast and powerful for the left back.

McDonald was rarely troubled at the other end and the two goal lead at half time was much deserved.

There was always a niggling doubt that things could turn if Falkirk got the third goal but that never really looked likely and for once Killie did it in style in front of their own fans. The fans were celebrating well before the end and another two goals were exactly what our efforts deserved. I didn’t join in the round of sympathy applause for the losers, I’m sure they have plenty of good fans but the wallopers had noised my up so my sympathy to them involved two fingers.

It was a real “feelgood factor” for the first time in ages and I was especially delighted for Lee Clark who had been given a very difficult task. It was no surprise that there was a clear out the following day because in the cold light of day we had been rotten for most of the season and were simply substandard. As far as play offs are concerned they do add a bit of excitement at the end of the season and I would thoroughly recommend them to anyone……but only if you actually win it!!

INS AND OUTS (AN ENDLESS LIST) For as long as I’ve followed the mighty Killie there is always someone who comes along at the end of a season and says “we need a proper clear out”. In many cases they are right but due to financial and contractual reasons it very rarely happens…….well until Lee Clark comes calling that is.

No sooner had we downed our post Falkirk match lagers than the manager was sending a huge number of players out the door for the final time. I would agree that it had to be done because quite simply the table doesn’t lie. We have been rank rotten since Kenny Shiels departed and it was clear that Lee Clark quickly identified a lot of weaknesses when he replaced Locke.

This is probably the toughest article I have ever written as it’s almost impossible to keep track of all the ins/outs, and where they have gone or where they have come from. I appreciate each issue of the Hippo is riddled with errors but I suspect this article may just beat the world record. Here is a list of the goners and where they are now (in most cases), the club announced as follows: The following players’ contracts have expired and will not be renewed: Lee Ashcroft – signed for Dunfermline Conor Brennan Julien Faubert Alex Henshall Christopher Johnston – signed for Raith Rovers Aaron Splaine The Club is willing to consider offers for the following players: Conrad Balatoni Kallum Higginbotham – allegedly going to Inverness Dale Carrick - signed for Livingston Kevin McHattie – signed for Raith Rovers Mark O’Hara – signed for Dundee

Tope Obadeyi – signed for Dundee United David Syme – signed for Partick Thistle Offers of new contracts have been made to the following players: Rory McKenzie – has signed a new contract at Killie Craig Slater – now signed for Colchester.

In addition, the final year of Mark Connolly’s contract has been cancelled – now sigbed for Crawley town who he was with prior to joining Killie.

All this after Clark had released Lee Robinson (went to Dunfermline but now at East Fife), Ross Barbour (went to Rob Roy but has now signed for Stranraer.) and Jamie Hamill (Queen of the South).

Additionally we had loan players last season who will not be wearing the squirrels on their chest again. Lee Hodson has been snapped up by the Govan White Sox whilst Stuart Findlay has left Celtic and signed for Newcastle under Rafa Benitez………good luck to Stuart but no luck for Lee. There may be a few hard luck stories among the departees with O’Hara being the obvious case in question. The big man has been shoved from pillar to post in defence and midfield and I’m sure he will do a good job for Dundee if they give him a settled position and a run of games. We did hear a grim story about Conor Brennan who was apparently offered a new contract then within a matter of days was told the deal is off the table and he was told he would have to leave his flat………a move that has the parasite’s signature all over it.

That’s the Killie brexiters dealt with, now for the new influx of faces. It goes without saying that the most popular utterance in the stands for a few weeks will be “whos he, who’s he, who’s he?”. Clark has been working on these deals for a number of months now and his strategy is quite clear. Sign young athletic guys with a point to prove and hope that one or two gems emerge that will be sold on for big bucks.

It’s hard to argue with as we simply have the new boss a chance to bring in his own players and try to mould a team that will take us away from the annual relegation battles that we have endured in recent years. It’s pretty much impossible predicting the season ahead wih so many unknowns however we have to give the new lads a bit of time to bed in. That may be a potential negative to bringing in so many new players, we will be very lucky if they all settle quickly and we get off to a flying start.

Forgive me if we have missed anyone but here is the 11 signings that were all announced on the same day. It was a bit unfortunate that we chose to make the big announcement on the same day as the big referendum result. I may be accused on nitpicking but surely someone realized this would mean all other news was buried away!!

Jamie Cobain – 19 - Defence Jamie Cobain comes to the club from Newcastle United. He is a versatile defender who was at the Newcastle Academy from the age of 10 before making his debut for the Newcastle United U21 team on 11th May 2015. Jamie has recently finished a period on loan to Sheffield United.

Souleymane Coulibaly – 21 - Striker Souleymane Coulibaly comes to the club from Peterborough FC. His footballing career started when he moved to Italy and has included an international career with the Ivory Coast U17 team. Whilst playing for them he finished as the top goal scorer at the 2011 Under-17 World Cup. He scored on his debut at Clyde, the fans will love his celebration but I won’t be trying it!!

Jordan Jones – 21 – Left/Right Wing Jordan Jones is joining the club from Middlesbrough FC, playing as a left/right winger.

In the past Jordan has played for Hartlepool United and Cambridge United on Loan.

Callum McFadzean – 22 – Left Wing Callum McFadzean comes to the club from Sheffield United FC. Callum spent most of his youth career with them before a spell on loan at Stevenage. He has represented both the England and Scotland national teams at youth level due to his grandfather being from Glasgow.

Martin Smith – 20 – Central Midfielder Martin Smith joins the club from Sunderland FC. Martin joined the Sunderland Academy at under-8 level and became a key member of the clubs U21 team playing as a central midfielder Joshua Webb – 20 – Defence Joshua Webb will join Kilmarnock football Club from Aston Villa FC. He has represented England at U18 level. He also played regularly in the NextGen Series U19 competition representing Aston Villa when they won in the 2012/13 campaign.

On Loan: Flo Bojaj – 20 – Striker Flo Bojaj comes to the team on loan from Huddersfield Town FC. Flo is an Albanian footballer and has been capped for the nations U17 team three times.

On Loan: Will Boyle – 20 – Centre Back Will Boyle joins the team on loan from Huddersfield Town FC. Will made his firstteam debut for Huddersfield as a substitute against Reading on 24 February 2015.

He has had several spells at York on loan with his last during the 2015–16 season.

The big man started at Clyde and looked assured as he played beside Addison. He managed to score as well, I fancy we may be a decent threat at set pieces, something to bear in mind if doing first goalscorer betting!

On Loan – Jonathan Burn – 20 – Centre Back Jonathan Burn joins the team on Loan from Middlesbrough.

The centre back, started his career with the Sunderland Academy before he joined Middlesbrough in March of 2013.

He went to League One side Oldham Athletic on loan in August 2015 making his professional debut on 9 August 2015 against Walsall On Loan – Oliver Davies – 21 - Goalkeeper Oliver Davies was on loan to the club last season and returns to us again from Swansea. His first spell at Killie was cut short when he picked up a shoulder injury.

On Loan – Mark Waddington – 19 – Midfield Mark Waddington, comes to the team on loan from Stoke City U21s.

The centre midfielder, started his career with Blackpool where he progressed through the youth ranks, playing in the first team in the 2014/15 season. He then joined Stoke City in July 2015.

In addition Miles Addison has now joined us on a three year deal, a good move as Hearts were very keen to take him as well. I would make him team captain as he seems to have the leadership qualities we were missing last season.

It will be interesting to see how many of the new guys start on a regular basis because we still have a list of guys left – Jamie McDonald, Gary Dicker, Rory McKenzie, Greg Kiltie, Josh Magennis, Stevie Smith and Kris Boyd as well as youngsters like Greg Taylor who made such a good impression at the end of the season.

At the meet the fans meeting when he arrived, Lee Clark stated his preferred formation was always 4-4-2 so I wonder if all the new signings have been brought in with that in mind. Some of the new guys like McFadzean and Cobain can play in more than one position so that just makes it even harder to predict our new line up.

Another factor is the issue of the loan signings, I spoke to a guy who reckons they are currently on loan until January but that is all a bit unclear. Should we be trying to play the permanent signings before the loanees, probably not if the loan players are simply better. You will see another article in this issue all about the recent Sunday Mail article about our signings……….please do me a favour and never buy this toilet paper again.

As you will be aware the transfer window is open until the end of August so I fancy there will be one or two more signings especially after all the unwanted players have found new clubs. Clark will be speaking to his many contacts so I would expect maybe more loan signings from down south.

DICK OF THE SUMMER One down side of the summer months is that our intellectaully challenged tabloid journalists have nothing to say so there sole brain cell gets all confused and spouts absolute crap……..step forward one Gordon Parks from the Sunday Mail. Normally a journalist (a decent one at least) would do some work in researching the article he was about to right. This looks like the most extreme case of lazy journalism ever and he has just written stuff that has popped into his thick skull.

I have won many awards for being the author of some of the worst football articles ever written but this dick has blown all my mince clean out the water.

The whole thrust of the article was that Killie were abandoning their youth policy, only signing English lads and thereby destroying the game up here.

It truly was the least researched and inaccurate article ever written. I was all set to write a rant about the dick of the summer however I received an excellent email from Doug Lyburn who addressed the issues raised far better than I ever could.

I would absolutely love to hear Lee Clark’s thoughts on the article and if the club had any balls they would be in touch with the rag to keep them right….who knows maybe they have done that.

Anyway here is what Doug sent to the rag, do us a favour Killie fans and never buy the piece of shit again: Dear Mr Parks, As a lifelong Kilmarnock supporter of 55 years I was extremely disappointed to read your article regarding the new players brought into the Club. Everyone is entitled to an opinion and you’ve expressed yours.

The trouble is that people all around the country are exposed to your writing and therefore it is important that you are correct with your facts. Unfortunately your article was almost entirely wrong throughout.

Let’s look at some of the detail: 1.

Kilmarnock have NOT abandoned their Youth Policy.

Greg Kiltie, Greg Taylor and Adam Frizzell – all products of our Youth Policy – have all signed contract extensions in recent months, have all played for the first team and are all in line to feature prominently in the season ahead. Kiltie, in particular, is tipped to go on to big things.

2.

Alan Robertson did NOT retire AFTER he saw the new signings.

He announced his retiral BEFORE the Play-off matches against Falkirk at the beginning of May. And, at 60, he probably felt the time was right. It had nothing to do with any so-called abandonment of our Youth Policy.

Kilmarnock have NO duty to Scottish Football to develop young players 3. for the good of the game any more than any other club in the country (and that includes Celtic and Rangers, by the way). Lee Clarke has been charged with the job of returning Kilmarnock to the upper echelons of the Premiership – something all Killie fans would love to see happen. But if he fails to keep us in the Division he will be sacked. That’s football.

If the young players released in recent weeks were that good then why were we struggling like mad to stay up these past three years? If they were so good, why was there no queue of bigger clubs waiting to snap them up? Why (with the exception of O’Hara who has made a sideways move to Dundee) have these players all moved to Championship Clubs? However, these players need 1st team football and if they can’t get it at Killie then it is right for them to move on.

But a look at the Killie Under-19 team that beat Rangers to win the Scottish Youth Cup back in 2003 will reveal that only THREE players, Naismith, Bell and Hamill went onto have a successful career in football. Young players can look the real deal at 16, 17, 18 but then they plateau and don’t really progress. Too many of Killie’s young players, in my opinion, went that way (Barbour, Ashcroft, Johnson to name but three).

4.

The players that have been brought in look like they will improve the quality of our squad – a squad that will still have McDonald, Boyd, McKenzie, Kiltie, Taylor and Frizzell (all Scots) plus Magennis (the Northern Irish international) in the 1st team pool.

To describe young players who’ve been on the books of such as Newcastle, Sunderland, Middlesborough, Aston Villa and Huddersfield as low quality is absolute tosh and an insult for which you should apologise in print.

To get into the 1st teams of those sides is so difficult, principally because the top English Clubs are filled with foreign imports! Sounds familiar? I don’t hear you criticising Celtic for signing Dembele at the probable expense of a FULL SCOTTISH INTERNATIONAL (Leigh Griffiths).

I don’t hear any complaints from you about Rangers bringing in the toxic (and past his best) Joey Barton as well as a raft of English players.

5.

The real culprits, regarding the so-called dearth of top quality Scottish talent, has got to be the Old Firm.

For years they’ve filled their teams with foreign players when they’ve got the power (and always have had the power) to recruit and develop the very best of young Scottish players. But rather than develop them they bring out the cheque book every time.

Kilmarnock finished 2nd in the Youth Development Under-20 League last season.

And in the season ahead our Under 20 side will be competing against Senior Clubs in the Petrofac Cup. Thus it will be vital for us to continue to promote and develop good young players. Lee Clarke is an ambitious young manager and a breath of fresh air to our League. He should be applauded and encouraged because Killie, with Nike now manufacturing our kit for the next three years, are on the way back.

6.

I am excited about the new season and predict Killie will finish top six!

Regards, Doug Lyburn >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

TOKEN SCUM GAG There is a massive tailback on the M77 and a lorry driver caught up in it asks a man, who happens to be walking along the line of traffic, "what the hell is going on?"

The man replies, "haven't you heard? Terrorists have captured the bus carrying the A*r Utd team and are threatening to torch the bus if their demands aren't met. So I've organized a whip-round."

"How much is everyone giving?" asks the lorry driver.

"About a gallon each," replies the man.

K-TOWN FRIENDSHIP During the close season, along with Baz and big Jim T, we went around a few boozers in the town to get some new Trut member signed up and to generally chat about all things Killie. Our first port of call was the Kadikoi, a good Killie pub and we had the pleasure of meeting our old friend Shimmy.

Of course all the talk surrounded our famous old club and we agreed that the best friendship we have built over the years has been that with our German chums in Kaiserslautern. In fact Shimmy along with Jim Wilson and a few other Killie lads are heading over for the wedding of Sebastian on the same day as we face Clyde in the season opener.

Shimmy has a friend who is very friendly with the Kaiserslautern chairman so has a direct route into the club. As far as Killie are concerned I have already mentioned to director john Kiltie that it would be a great idea to make the friendship “official” and perhaps get a friendly arranged……….in Germany of course!! Shimmy pointed out that 2019 will be the 20th anniversary of our UEFA Cup tie so perhaps a game could be arranged then.

Interestingly enough the Germans are playing a pre-season friendly at Brentford this summer. Shimmy is going down for the game and it seems Kaiserslautern will be bringing about 950 fans over.

Anyway the wheels are in motion and I will be speaking to John Kiltie shortly to see if the clubs can make contact with our German pals to get something sorted. I will propose that Shimmy is put in charge of organizing the fans at this end……..needless to say he will be getting in touch with Ryanair etc for some plane prices!!

LOOK OUT FOR THESE CHANGES I’ve been watching Killie for well over 40 years now and it would be fair to say that at no time in that period have I fully understood the offside rule. The powers-that-be change the rules on an annual basis and fans roar abuse at the officials without fully understanding the rule I prefer to keep it simple like the wonderful Bill Shankly said “If he isn’t interfering with play he shouldn’t be on the park.”.

Like many of you I have spent the summer watching the Euros and there have been various talks of rule changes that will take effect this season. The obvious one is from kick off where the ball no longer needs to go forward so we can expect one man at the centre spot knocking it back 20 yards to his nearest colleague……….Hamilton have done that for years!!

We have done a wee bit of digging so here are some of the rule changes that may make a wee difference in the season ahead: Law 3 - the players If a substitute, sent-off player or match official interferes with play, causing the game to be stopped, it will result in a direct free-kick or penalty (previously indirect free-kick or drop-ball).

Law 5 - the referee Referees have the authority to take action from when they enter the field of play for the pre-match inspection, not from the start of the game - which means players could be sent off for an offence committed while warming up.

But yellow cards can only be issued from the start of the match.

Players injured by opponents who are then sent off do not need to leave the pitch for treatment.

Law 7 - duration of the match Time taken for drinks breaks can now officially be added on at the end of a game.

Law 8 - the start and restart of play The ball no longer has to move forward at a kick-off - it just has to move for the game to start.

Referees should not 'manufacture' dropped ball situations, in terms of who takes them, or the outcome.

Law 11 - offside Hands and arms are not included when judging offside.

Free-kicks for offside can be taken from where the offside player received the ball.

Law 12 - fouls and misconduct A free-kick or penalty can only be awarded while the ball is in play.

Denying an obvious goalscoring opportunity in the penalty area is no longer a straight red card - unless the offence is holding, pulling or pushing; there's no attempt to play or no possibility of making a challenge; or it's an offence which is punishable by a red card, no matter where on the pitch it happens - violent conduct, for example.

Violent conduct is punishable by a red card even if no contact is made.

An offence against a match official will result in a direct free-kick or penalty.

Law 14 - the penalty kick Players who feint to kick the ball once they have taken a run-up when taking a penalty will get booked for unsporting behaviour. Feinting in the run-up is allowed. And goalkeepers who come off their line too early will also be booked.

There are other changes but I have picked the ones that will be most noticeable at the Theatre of Lies. The first thing I will do is send a copy of this issue to Sportscene as they have a knack of employing “pundits” who don’t have a clue what they are looking at.

It will be interesting to see if the actual laws are implemented, how many keepers have you seen pulled up for the “six second” rule? My only concern is “hands and arms are not included when judging offside”. So what is the linesman going to use to stick his flag up???? >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

BITS + PIECES It’s always interesting to monitor the progress of former players and a couple have caught the eye. Big Stuart Findlay seems to have a decent move as he is away down to Newcastle. He will face Jackson Irvine in the Championship as he signed for Nigel Clough at Burton Albion. Big Gordon Greer has done well down south but has been released by Brighton and is currently looking for a club.

CHECKING OUT THE OPPOSITION Having looked at the ins/outs at Rugby Park it’s only fair that we now have a look at the bottom eleven. It’s no secret that money is at a premium however there does seem to be plenty of movement albeit not a lot of money is changing hands. Outwith the panic buys of the bigots, with one lot trying to re-establish their place as most horrible wallopers in the Premiership and the others listening to mad Brendan, there will be lots of new faces at all clubs.

Here is a rundown of the moves so far: ABERDEEN In: Jayden Stockley, forward (Bournemouth); Joe Lewis, goalkeeper (Cardiff City); Neil Alexander, goalkeeper (Heart of Midlothian); Miles Storey, forward (Swindon Town); Callum Morris, defender (Dundee United); Anthony O'Connor, defender (Burton Albion).

Out: David Goodwillie, forward (Plymouth Argyle); Scott Brown, goalkeeper; Barry Robson, midfielder (retired); Michael Rose, defender; Kalvin Orsi, forward; Lukas Culjak, defender; Sam Robertson, defender; Liam Lambert, defender. Loan ended: Simon Church, forward (MK Dons); Adam Collin, goalkeeper (Rotherham United). Loan: Aaron Lennox, goalkeeper (Raith Rovers); Robbie Mutch, goalkeeper (Arbroath).

McInnes does seem to have a wide range of contacts and pulls in players from all over the country. He reduced the average age by buming Barry Robson but then signs 67 year old Neil Alexander!! Miles Storey looked ok with ICT last year and their loss may be the mutton lovers gain. They seemed to have held on to their main men like Rooney and McGinn so its hard to imagine them being outside the top three or four.

CELTIC In: Brendan Rodgers, manager; Chris Davies, assistant manager (Reading);Moussa Dembele, forward (Fulham, undisclosed); Kristoffer Ajer, midfielder (Start, undisclosed); PJ Crossan, forward (Dunfermline Athletic, undisclosed).

Out: Ronny Deila, manager; John Collins, assistant manager; Colin KazimRichards, forward (Coritiba, undisclosed); Stefan Scepovic, forward (Getafe, undisclosed); Anthony Stokes, forward (Blackburn Rovers); Carlton Cole,forward. Loan: Michael Duffy, midfielder (Dundee); Paul McMullan, forward (Dunfermline Athletic); Colin McCabe, goalkeeper (Stenhousemuir).

Not a huge amount of movement however you can guarantee more moves in the weeks ahead as the new manager tries to avoid another humiliating European exit. Of course the list doesn’t include the departure of ex Killie loanee to Newcastle. They will be the team to beat again but it will be interesting to see how their manager copes in Scotland…..they do seem to have a fascination with appointing weirdos as managers!

DUNDEE In: Danny Williams, midfielder (Inverness Caledonian Thistle); James Vincent, midfielder (Inverness Caledonian Thistle); Mark O'Hara, defender (Kilmarnock); Yordi Teijsse, forward (Quick Boys). Loan: Michael Duffy,midfielder (Celtic).

Out: Paul McGinn, defender (Chesterfield); Thomas Konrad, defender; Daryll Maggatt, defender. Loan ended: Arturo Juan Rodriguez Perz-Reverte, forward (Cordoba).

Not too much movement so far from the Dees and of course we wish Mark O’Hara all the best except when he faces the mighty Killie. I wonder if they are the first Scottish club to sign a player from Quick Boys……..I thought that was an embarrassing medical condition!

HAMILTON In: Jordan McGregor, defender (Hibernian).

Out: Michael McGovern, goalkeeper; Ziggy Gordon, defender; Lucas, defender; Kemy Agustien, midfielder; Oumar Diaby, forward; Chris Mandiangu, midfielder; Alex D'Acol, forward; Colin Granger, defender; Victor Gutsul, forward. Loan ended: Carlton Morris, forward (Norwich City).

Another team with few players come in though again I’m sure there will be more to come. They are one of my faves for relegation this season, there home record was horrendous for the second half of last season.

The manager was not too popular among many of the fans and it remains to be seen how he copes with another year. I have a dislike for this lot due to horrible fans and boring teams so let’s hope they disappear come May. HEARTS In: Faycal Rherras, defender (Sint-Truiden); Viktor Noring, goalkeeper (Lyngby); Conor Sammon, forward (Derby County); Robbie Muirhead,forward (Dundee United); Nikolay Todorov, forward (Nottingham Forest).

Out: Neil Alexander, goalkeeper (Aberdeen); Blazej Augustyn, defender;Miguel Pallardo, midfielder; Soufian El Hassnaoui, forward; Liam Henderson, defender (Falkirk); Jahmal Howlett-Mundle, defender; Sean McKirdy, midfielder.Loan ended: Abiola Dauda, forward (Vitesse Arnhem). Loan: Jordan McGhee, defender (Middlesbrough);Gavin Reilly, forward (Dunfermline Athletic); Lewis Moore, midfielder (Cowdenbeath).

The obvious interest here is that the Jambos have snapped up two former strikers who we dearly hope will not come back and haunt us. It was no surprise to see them perform well last season and I suspect they will finish in a similarly lofty position come May. It must be said that they normally recruit from far and wide which is a bit ironic when you realise this is the club where Gary Locke got his football grounding.

INVERNESS In: Jake Mulraney, midfielder (Queens Park Rangers); Scott Boden, forward (Newport County).

Out: John Hughes, manager; Danny Devine, defender (Partick Thistle);Danny Williams, midfielder (Dundee); James Vincent, midfielder (Dundee);Dean Brill, goalkeeper (Motherwell); Nat Wedderburn, midfielder (Dunfermline Athletic); Jordan Roberts, midfielder (Crawley Town); Liam Hughes,midfielder (Barrow); Andrea Mbuyi-Mutombo, forward; Calum Howarth, defender; Ryan Williams, midfielder; Calum Ferguson, forward. Loan ended:Miles Storey, forward (Swindon Town).

The glaringly obvious fact from the lists above I they have let many players go but haven’t bothered to replace them.

I’m sure that will change in the weeks ahead or they may well be competing in the Highland 5-a-side league.

The loss of Yogi may well have a negative effect and Foran is a rookie manager being thrown into a club who will quite possible be fighting relegation. Time will tell and I’m sure the further signings they bring in will have a huge say in how they perform.

MOTHERWELL In: Jacob Blyth, forward (Leicester City); Dean Brill, goalkeeper (Inverness Caledonian Thistle); Carl McHugh, midfielder (Plymouth Argyle); Richard Tait,defender (Grimsby Town); Ben Heneghan, defender (Chester).

Out: Stephen Robinson, assistant manager (Oldham Athletic);Ben Hall,defender (Brighton & Hove Albion, undisclosed); Stephen Pearson, midfielder (Atletico de Kolkata); Robbie Leitch, midfielder (Burnley, undisclosed); Josh Law, midfielder (Oldham Athletic); David Clarkson, forward; Wes Fletcher, forward; Jack Leitch, midfielder; Brett Long, goalkeeper. Loan ended: Connor Ripley, goalkeeper (Middlesbrough); Morgaro Gomis, midfielder (Hearts).

Like Inverness they have shipped far more than they have recruited so far but we have to remember a lot of business is done in August once English clubs sort out who can go out on loan or get released. It’s been interesting to see that Motherwell played a decent number of pre season friendlies (with limited success) whilst Killie had one closed door game. They had a great last few months of the season but I don’t think they will maintain that momentum.

PARTICK THISTLE In: Ade Azeez, forward (Wimbledon, undisclosed); Chris Erskine, midfielder (Dundee United); Danny Devine, defender (Inverness Caledonian Thistle);David Syme, defender (Kilmarnock).

Out: Frederic Frans, defender (Lierse); Danny Seaborne, defender; Gary Miller, defender (Plymouth Argyle); Paul Gallacher, goalkeeper; Chris Duggan, forward (East Fife); Jordan Leyden, midfielder; Marc Waters, goalkeeper; Scot Whiteside, defender. Loan ended: Aidan Nesbitt, midfielder (Celtic).

They have brought back Erskine from Tannadice, a player who has caught the eye a few times and they have snapped up young Killie defender Syme who was released after sustaining a bad injury.

Once again you would fancy them to be in the nether regions battling against the drop…..here’s hoping it’s a battle they lose!!

RANGERS In: Niko Kranjcar, midfielder (New York Cosmos); Joey Barton, midfielder (Burnley); Matt Gilks, goalkeeper (Burnley); Jordan Rossiter, midfielder (Liverpool); Clint Hill, defender (Queens Park Rangers); Lee Hodson,defender (MK Dons); Josh Windass, midfielder (Accrington Stanley); Matt Crooks, midfielder (Accrington Stanley).

Out: Cammy Bell, goalkeeper (Dundee United); Nicky Clark, forward (Bury);Nicky Law, midfielder (Bradford City); Dean Shiels, midfielder; David Templeton, midfielder; Luca Gasparotto, defender (Falkirk); Jamie Mills, defender (Stirling Albion).

Loan ended: Gedion Zelalem, midfielder (Arsenal); Dominic Ball, defender (Tottenham Hotspur); Billy King, midfielder (Heart of Midlothian).

Our parasite in the boardroom is ecstatic that the sons of satan are back with the big boys…….what a pity he doesn’t just f*** off back to Govan. Again there is a Killie connection with Lee Hodson being snapped up and former stars Cammy Bell + Dean Shiels heading out the door. Bell is away to the Championship with the Arabs whilst Shiels has no club. Kranjcar looks a decent signing but I look forward to see how Barton deals with the Scottish game.

ROSS COUNTY In: Jay McEveley, defender (Sheffield United); Christopher Routis, defender (Bradford City); Kenny van der Weg, defender (Breda); Aaron McCarey,goalkeeper (Wolverhampton Wanderers); Erik Cikos, defender (Slovan Bratislava).

Out: Rocco Quinn, midfielder (St Mirren); Stewart Murdoch, midfielder (Dundee United); Raffaele De Vita, midfielder; Peter Tait, goalkeeper; Darren Moffat, midfielder. Loan ended: Gary Woods, goalkeeper (Leyton Orient).

County are a team who have made a living out of recruiting guys from all over the planet so I look forward to the Sunday Mail hatchet job on them. McIntyre has done a decent job up there and more than likely they will be ok again this season. Rocco Quinn has been released and is now plying his trade in Paisley but it’s fair to say I have no idea what the new guys are like….time will tell.

That is your rundown of the new faces you can expect to see and we will have an in depth look at each team once the season is up and running. In the meantime look out for all the latest deals because you can be sure of a good number of loan deal throughout August.

FIRST IMPRESSIONS We are always having a go at the authorities (rightly so) however when they make a change it’s only fair to give it a chance. The new style League cup has just started so hopefully it will be a success and will help increase attendances around the country.

The only negative I can think of is that we appear to have done away with pre-season friendless as the cup begins in mid-July.

Some of my finest days out in recent years have been the pre season games with trips to the likes of Portrush, Shrewsbury and Morecambe evoking great laughs and great memories.

The first chance for the fans to see the new team came at Clyde and 825 fans made the trip to Cumbernauld……an excellent turn out by the fans. We headed off about half 11 as we were heading to a wee boozer, “The Molly”, which is a 5 minute drive to the ground. All the pre match talk was about the last time we visited Clyde was 19 years ago in the Scottish Cup of 1997….and we all know what happened after our 1 – 0 victory.

I should publicly thank barmaid Cathy as she probably isn’t used to a squad of boozehounds bursting in and taking over the pub at a Saturday lunch time. They even put on free pies for us, what a great start to the season as we also have the Berwick chip van to look forward ……..what a time to be alive!!

Anyway after a couple of hours of swilling lager, playing pool and blasting the jukebox it was time to head to the game. We were met with a fairly long queue at the away turnstiles as the fans badly needed a swatch of all the new faces. How will we set up?

How will the fitness levels be and will we get to see a Coulibaly back flip celebration?

Clark has said he prefers to use two strikers and that was the case with Bojaj and Coulibaly leading the line. They both did fairly well although Bojaj was subbed in the second half. Coulibaly got away to the perfect start in his first competitive game by scoring with a back heel……and yes we did get to see the celebration, right in front of the boozehounds as well.

It was only the first game so far too early to form definite views however Boyle certainly looked the part alongside Addison and he even managed a goal as well. Elsewhere in defence McDonald was excellent, his penalty save appeared to snap us into action. The full backs were less convincing with Cobain looking bit nervous and Smith, who has been named as captain, not doing great on the left.

In midfield McFadzean didn’t really show much however Jones was lively when he came on as was Magennis on the right side.

McKenzie beside Dicker in the middle didn’t seem to work and it will be interesting to see what Waddington and Smith look like in there. Kiltie did well and was buzzing around, he needs to be played centrally just off the striker (s).

All in all it did seem a bit like a friendly but it’s always good to get a win and we should get better as the season progresses.

BOARDROOM LATEST Well here we are at the start of another season and once again the Killie family is still more dysfunctional than the Simpsons thanks to the parasite refusing to budge. I’m sure you will have heard many stories over the summer and from what I know most of them are true. Yes there is a big split in the boardroom, yes there are people waiting to invest once Johnston goes and yes there will be an EGM shortly for a vote of no confidence in the waster who would rather go to the golf then watch Killie’s first game of the season.

As we have stated before Bowie is a complete mystery in all this although if some rumours are to be believed he has eventually lost patience with the parasite. Time will tell but it’s fairly obvious that nobody at the club wants an EGM as it could be messy. As much as it’s fairly obvious that Johnston will get a sore time it will be very awkward for Bowie who will basically be put in a position where he has to either back the vast majority or stand by MJ which will mean he will get the same criticism as Johnston…….if you fly with the crows etc.

The EGM has been discussed since the rowdy club AGM where it became clear that the vast majority had ran out of time with Johnston. The wheels have been in motion however it needs to be 100% water tight as Johnston will try and find any way possible of blocking it. There are currently legal folk looking at it so you can expect an announcement in the next couple of weeks.

We are all aware of folk who have stopped going due to Johnston, I won’t be handing over another penny at the Theatre of Lies until he is gone. However a bigger headline grabber is the businesses who refuse to invest while he is still there. We are currently looking at creating alist of such businesses….please drop me an e-mail killiehippo@aol.com if you know of businesses who fall into that category. It doesn’t matter how small the amount is, we will have a sizeable figure when it is all added together. Keep up the fight folks, I have a feeling his time at Killie is coming to an end.

A DATE FOR THE DIARY OF ALL KILLIE FANS

EUROS 2016 We had an extended season thanks to the play offs then after a couple of weeks we were straight into the Euros….did it satisfy your close season football fix? Personally I didn’t enjoy it too much and the dull uneventful final summed up most of the tournament.

Don’t get me wrong it had its moments especially when both Irelands plus Wales got through the group stages. From a Scotland perspective it shows what can be done with a bit of organization, a bit of hard work and most importantly BELIEF. Wales were an inspiration and their win against Belgium was one of the highlights of the competition for me. Obviously Bale is the main man however the whole team stepped up to the mark.

Robson-Kanu scored a truly world class goal…weeks after his contract ran out at Reading. Their journey to the semi finals should act as an inspiration for Gordon Strachan and his troops as should the progress of Iceland, a country with a population of 320,000 or half the size of Glasgow if you like.

Sadly I’m not convinced that we will gain any benefit from these teams but I look forward to see how we perform against England in the forthcoming World cup games. The final told me that there is no truly outstanding team out there and I have no fact that we give some teams way too much respect….like Georgia!!

How good would it be to be competing in finals once again to give Scotland fans a proper look at plastic chair flinging!

JACKIE MCINALLY R.I.P.

More sad news as another legend from the league winning team passed away. Rest in Peace “Jake”.