Black Wings

Black Wings -Tho Duc Le ‘22

The colors dye the sky like little fireworks, except they won’t explode. These are ordinary people with the wings that connect to their shoulders which shape like a cape. Each color represents what is deep inside a person. Just like the stars, they absorb the energy and release it in their own color. The town hall slowly collapses as a result of the snow storm. People crowd the exit. A light from the blue wing rises up attempting to stop the old rusted column from falling over. Then comes another purple light pierces through the panic crowd to help the man. One man and one woman emit waves of magnificent lights to buy time for people’s escape. Soon the stars on their backs fade one by one. The woman fell down unconscious; the man frowns from exhaustion as the last light from his wing fades. The two girls are sitting at the kitchen table listening to music, swinging their legs to the exciting rhythm. Kakera jumps down from the stool to answer the door while Yuzuki starts to set up the dinner table.

“Mom, give me a moment I can’t open the door!” Kakera shouts to her parents outside. It takes both of the girls to shift the slightly oversized piece of wood out of its frame. An officer comes up to their door and announces that their parents sacrificed themselves to save others, just how they are supposed to according to the assumed purpose of their wings- the wings of saving and of hope. Kakera can not let the man finish his announcement and burst into tears, screaming the pain of losing her family. Yuzuki stares at him with anger and shock in her eyes, completely static as her feelings start to fill her body.

“Why were they the only ones that died ?” “I am sorry Miss, your mother was stuck and she tried to save others…” “Was she the only one? What about my dad? Why does he have to die, too?” Yuzuki starts to raise her voice. “I’m sorry, I…” “Why are they the only ones that died ?” Yuzuki does not let the man finish his sentence and starts screaming in his face. Her words slowly become unrecognizable as they mix with tears. Shortly after the officer leaves, the two girls sit on their table again. There is no more music, just an unbearable silence covers the house from the door to the deepest crack on the walls. They are alone tonight and all the nights to come.

In the morning, roughly two years after the accident, Kakera is making her morning meal with the cereal boxes that have been on the shelf since forever. They never seem to run out, though she eats the same thing every morning. She pulls out her favorite bowl that her parents bought her; it is interestingly shaped with rainbow color on the side where stands the clumsy handwriting: “love you Kakera.” It was made by her and her parents at the festival. She takes such good care of it that she has a separate place to keep it in the drawer. Yuzuki walks down the stairs after Kakera has finished her breakfast. She puts on her clothes and gets ready for school. They are high school seniors and both turn 18 in about a month. The sisters step out of their door on the creaking of the old wooden floor. One starts her journey to school with the ordinary road, the other one spreads her wings toward the sun and starts taking off. Yuzuki always ends up being almost late since her wings are not capable of flying. Yuzuki and Kakera are in the same class sitting next to each other, but only Yuzuki’s table has her name on it just like everyone else. The teacher walks into the classroom flashing his red cape wing reflecting the light from the window; for a second he dyes the whole space with red; he seems more formal today. “Next week is the deadline for your career surveys, some of you have turned 18 and your wings have shined with their own colors, and some of you still have the white wings of innocence. If you already know your color, I want you to think of a job that would fit you as a person with the color reflected on your wings.” Mr. Kardel does not bother to explain again how important the stars on each wing represent; they are directly connected and reflect a person’s viability. Almost everyone feels this connection, but schools rarely teach about sacrificing those stars to push one’s mental and physical strength beyond the limit. Kakera and Yuzuki are the only ones in class who know about this since that was what happened to their parents. Everyone sits in silence listening, either looking for the smallest strand of color on their cape or thinking about what they should be in the future. Kakera looks back to admire her barely purplish white cape occasionally unfolding from her shoulder, then looks back to the board. Purple wings are of saving, blue wings are of freedom, green is of peace, yellow is for pride, orange for ambition and red for initiation. Below these notes, the job suggestions are written below each type of wing. The girls’ mother was a nurse but

their father was just a normal officer. Sometimes, there are people who do not want to choose what they are suited for but their wings still reflect their personality. Yuzuki observes her wings carefully, hoping that the confusing dark color she saw is just a mistake in her perception of blue or purple. Yuzuki hopes to have the same cape their parents had. But she soon realizes that her cape has lost half of its meaning since the day she lost the ability to fly. “I have the wing of saving.” Kakera said in a melancholy tone, acknowledging her sister’s problem with the cape. She has been very careful since then. “If possible, I want to be a nurse, just like mom. But I don’t think I can, my wings are…weird.” Yuzuki doesn’t seem to pay attention. “No no no, if you are thinking of the wings of downfall, you do not have them.” “Then how do you explain my inability to fly?” “I…let’s go see the doctor tomorrow, okay?” They kept the silence all the way back home, Kakera is not flying today.

As their birthday approaches, Kakera wakes up seeing her wing shining a more splendid purple; but Yuzuki is in terror finding her cape turning darker every day, the stars on her back becoming clearer on black cape.

“Are you ready?” Yuzuki looks worried as she puts her coat on to cover her wings. Yuzuki has an appointment today with the doctor. They walk outside. As Kakera spreads her wings to fly, she quickly realizes and folds them back. She never knows the feeling of being unable to fly since for her, it is like breathing. Kakera makes jokes on the way to cheer up her twin. Yuzuki smiles and giggles sometimes but she could not hide the fact that she is under the pressure from her own imagination where everyone around them is staring her down for her blackening wings. They arrive at the clinic and Kakera has to wait outside. She is confident that her sister just has some illnesses that do not allow her to fly. As time passes, Kakera loses her patience and confidence though. It should not take this long for a simple test. The doctor finally walks out of the room with his purple wings, the same color on Kakera’s wings except stronger. Kakera tries to calm herself down and slows her heartbeat and greets the doctor. “You are Kakera?” “I am. How is my sister?” “I will cut to the chase. We performed the test three times according to her request and there are still some lights from her wings. We see that her wings are black wings though. Usually these will not emit any lights so there is still a chance where her wings are not the wings of downfall. You will just have to look for changes. Let’s see if they get better.”

Kakera stopped listening after the words black wings since Yuzuki has all the common features of the wings of downfall. “He said you will be fine!” “You don’t have to lie to me.”

Every step to school is becoming heavier for Yuzuki, the strangers on the streets look at her with different eyes. Some find her pathetic, some find her poor. No one talks to her anymore, except for Kakera and the teacher who has the duty to. Yuzuki finds herself floating even further from life as her wings keep getting heavier as time passes. The two sides of the classrooms are painted with two tones of color: The ones that received their color including Kakera, and the ones with white capes trying to stay away from Yuzuki. People with the wings of downfall tend to be the source of trouble in their community; most of them are jobless due to social judgment. Yuzuki never thought of herself as one of those people; she has always wished to be like her mother, the violet saviors. Every color emits energy toward others except for black. Kakera has tried to make her twin feel better, but sometimes she disgusts Yuzuki herself. *** Yuzuki has her eyes on the board but only the red color from Mr. K’s cape reflects her pupil. Her head slightly leans to the side and occasionally switches in a slow steady pace to another side. She seems to be as still as a statue in the space that everything is constantly moving, her glance goes straight into the void. She daydreams of the warmth and magnificence on the wings of initiation. Yet to her, the distance from her seat to the cape is infinite. She would adjust her posture every time a question is asked then relaxes again after she heard a name that's not hers. Her face leans on her hand again, waiting. She does not need to look to feel Kakera’s existence next to her on the other side of the spectrum, where everything is shiny and positive. Kakera sits with Yuzuki at lunch as they always do. No one else is at the table. “I miss them,” Yuzuki repeated the third time. “Stop mentioning them, when will you start to pick yourself up?” “Why shouldn’t I talk about them? Don’t you miss them, too? They would always bring little presents when they come back. They made a bowl, they bought pencils, they…” “Would you please stop talking? They died because they wanted to save others.” “They died because no one saved them.” Kakera stands up and leaves as soon as those words come out. One of them will tell a story of her heroic parents, the other one will tell a tragedy of the victims. At that moment, the only thing they share is their appearance and nothing else. Not even a lunch table. ***

favorite dish that their mom always made on the special day. So she thinks she might try to find the taste again. She struggles to reach the shelf for several minutes thinking that she could ask for Kakera’s help but she does not. It is always so easy to reach those handles when one can fly. Yuzuki is used to walking, too; she has become accustomed to jumping and reaching objects. Yuzuki had her fingers on the edge of the bowl, but its weird shape confused her when she tries to find a spot to hold on to it. Kakera rushes down the stairs as she hears the noise. “Are you ok, Yu...zu…” Kakera could not finish her sentence. Her words and emotions are broken just as how the pieces of her favorite bowl are. She slowly collects the pieces. Yuzuki tries to reach and help her but a cold slap hits her hand. Yuzuki sits there in the corner and waits for Kakera to finish cleaning up and leaves. She still sits there in silence to the point when the ringing in her ear is as loud as a passing train and her vision starts to blur from the edges. She finally falls asleep in the kitchen; the meal waits to never be served. Yuzuki’s wings get darker as the night passes.

Kakera does not eat breakfast that morning. She comes to class early and tries to calm herself down so her mood will not ruin everything. She sits there and thinks about what happened, she knows too well how difficult it is for Yuzuki to do anything now. Yet, she is angry. She is angry not understanding why her twin still can not get over their dead parents; she is angry at herself for being unreasonable with Yuzuki. The thoughts slowly sweep her mind until the second person appears in the room. Then comes the third and fourth. Kakera’s friendliness makes her friends with almost everyone. They greet each other and start talking about everything in the world, from the TV show to the homework to the miracle of the wings. For a while, Kakera forgets about the unsettling feeling. Yuzuki finally appears at the last minute. Kakera does not look but she sees in the corner of her eyes, Yuzuki is wearing their father’s coat to cover up her wings. Yuzuki makes her way through the classmates and stops in front of Kakera. “I am sorry for breaking it…” For the first time in a while, Kakera feels like her father is in front of her. She has tasted a tiny bit of Yuzuki’s sorrow and its bitterness freezes her to the brain. She thought she understood what her twin had been through. She clearly did not. “I will buy us cakes today, it’s our birthday tomorrow.” Yuzuki continues while sitting down. “I’ll go with you!” Kakera still has her eyes stuck on the coat. Kakera feels like she is looking now, both at her father and at the mirror. She has tried to bury everything inside and it results in herself, a hopeful and optimistic girl. Yet those feelings seem to channel through and end up in Yuzuki. Only then the both girls realize they share more than just their faces.

They walk down the street in the blows of wind and rain rethinking their decision of going to the store. They rush into the building soaking wet, start looking for the sweet that might be a mood booster for a rainy day. The woman greets her customers with the spreading orange wings. Her wings fold and the smile on her face shuts as fast as a fire in the rain once she has her eyes on Yuzuki. “What do you kids want?” - She asks with a not so pleasant voice. “Your cakes, what else do we buy at a cake shop? A TV remote?” Kakera stepped in the front to confront the woman and her attitude after seeing Yuzuki’s hesitation. Yuzuki smiles slightly but her eyes glow as if she found the only fire source in the snow storm. They hold hands and walk around the store to find the best ones. They struggle to find the perfect one since they both have different opinions. “This one is too big… “And this one is too tiny.” “I like this one but it looks like it’s gonna taste like trash.” “This one? Meh…”

They come across a cake that is shaped like a trunk from Alice in Wonderland. The old roots tried it’s best to stick to the ground. It was made with such care that even the leaves look like they are being blown away. The wind approaches with raging speed bringing with it a massive blow force. Yuzuki can’t hold back her amazement looking at the trunk that is half lifted revealing the rabbit hole. The tree can not hold any longer and finally decides to free itself from the ground. The two girls open the container to admire the masterpiece better. As Yuzuki locks her sight on the cake, a terrific sound hits her ear. Behind, one of the trees cut through the freezing air, with its roots blown up by the wind, slowly falling onto the building next door. The heavily damaged roof starts to slip through the pillars and drops its crumbs onto the running family. Yuzuki barely sees the glimpse of green light under the dust. The whole scene of her parents’ accident shot through her head as she sprinted out of the door and dove into the crumbling house. When Yuzuki realizes, her cape is shining its own light; a soft light breaks through the darkness of the downfall to emit the hesitant yet powerful purple.Yuzuki, with her back against the trunk, is holding it from falling down to the person. The woman on the ground is unconscious and Yuzuki’s last star is fading away. Shouts come through the streets calling for help. They would call and cry but clearly, none of them is interested in lending a hand; at least not in time.

The memories start to rewind to the old house. Three people: one blue, one purple, and one little white are cooking together, reading together. Then there’s only one left, with the purple so dark that it turns to black.

She just stands there, sometimes eating cereal, sometimes not, sometimes walking out of the house, sometimes flying out. The picture of the family of three is hung on the wall and covered by dust since no one comes back to take care of it. The girl was found dead, under the trunk of the giant tree embracing the dead woman. The girl’s wing was purple and her name was reported: Yuzuki Kakera. After her parents died, Yuzuki Kakera had continued her miserable life after she lost everything. She was lonely, and to cope with it, she would decide to swallow all of her feelings some days and to let them come out on the others. As time passed, Yuzuki Kakera started to separate from herself. They refused to be the two halves of the girl. The girl herself is only brought back to reality once she finally unified her feelings at the moment she tried to save someone else. She felt the feeling from Yuzuki of how ignorant society had become; she also felt the urge to save another person just how Kakera always thought of her parents. She died, but she felt more alive than ever when she finally realized that her black does not mean downfall; but rather, it refers to the light and inescapable feelings.