written by Ellen Pritchard Dodge, M.Ed., CCC-SLP and Mark C. Pisano, Ed.D. with Christopher Atkins, LCSW and Kate Ramsburgh, M.A.
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Contents
Introduction......................................................................................................................... 5
Chapter 1: Getting Started............................................................................................... 9
Chapter 2: Compassionate Listening and Guidance................................................... 27
Chapter 3: Before a Service Member Leaves for Duty.............................................. 37
Chapter 4: While a Service Member Is Away on Duty.............................................. 43
Chapter 5: When a Service Member Has a Short Break from Duty...................... 49
Chapter 6: Anticipation Before a Service Member Returns Home from Duty..... 55
Chapter 7: After a Service Member Returns Home from Duty.............................. 59
Chapter 8: Family Fun! More Playful Games and Family Rituals.............................. 65
Introduction Note for Parents Feelings can be messy … Kimochis® can help! Every parent wishes for a happy, healthy, confident child. One very important part of being happy, healthy, and confident is learning how to understand and express feelings and have positive, loving relationships. The Kimochis® Activity Kit for Military Families is a tool you can use to help each other express thoughts and feelings that otherwise may be very difficult to share. Military families know all too well that feelings can run high before, during, and after a service member leaves home for military duty. By expressing feelings and maintaining a sense of connectedness, families can better endure the emotional challenges brought on by separation and strive to be healthy, happy and connected. Unfortunately, some families struggle with sharing feelings or are even scared to try. Many families try to share and communicate, but they can’t seem to connect on a deeper level. Kimochi (KEY-MO-CHEE) means “feeling” in Japanese. The Kimochis® Activity Kit for Military Families is designed to help families wholeheartedly express their emotions and feelings and, as a result, foster deep and loving connections. When families prepare for the predictable emotions that can arise during separation due to military duty, the family is better prepared to: • Manage emotions and challenges in a way that helps each family member feel understood • Be supportive, understanding, and compassionate toward one another’s emotional needs • Strengthen parent-child and parent-parent connections • Stay unified during separations • Celebrate and reintegrate the service member back home in a way that both honors and guides a positive transition NOTE: The activities in the Kimochis® Activity Kit for Military Families aren’t just for times of separation due to military duty. The activities in each section can be used anytime to enhance family communication and parent-child bonding or whenever your children wish to share their feelings with the help of the Kimochis®. You might find it useful to skim through the sections and find activities that fit your family’s and children’s needs and interests … anytime.
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How to Begin There is no right or wrong way to play with Kimochis®! However, to make this kit easier to use and to help your family get started learning new communication habits right away, we recommend the following steps: STEP 1: Open the kit and let your family discover the items inside. Read the descriptions of each item (especially Hero’s bio) that start on page 9. STEP 2: Make a plan with your family for doing the Ten Opening Kimochis® Activities that start on page 11. We suggest scheduling these activities (Kimochis® Family Time) over the course of two weeks. Some families will take more time. Some families will take less. Use two weeks as a general guideline and adapt it to your family’s needs and schedule. STEP 3: After completing the Ten Opening Activities, read and experiment with the strategies outlined in Chapter 2: Compassionate Listening and Guidance. These strategies are designed to help your family check in with their feelings, work through challenging moments, and keep the lines of communication open. STEP 4: Go to the chapter that represents your family’s current situation: before the service member parent is away; while the service member parents is away; or after the service member returns home. Read and do the activities from that chapter. STEP 5: Keep the routine of Kimochis® Family Time going with games from Chapter 8: Family Fun! More Playful Feeling Games and Family Rituals. You might choose to play some of these games right at the beginning … and that’s fine too! There are a lot of activities in this book, but you don’t need to do every one of them to create stronger connections and have fun with your family.
Note for Mental Health Providers This activity book has been written directly for military families, but we know that mental health providers will also find the content useful. This book has been intentionally directed to families, knowing that you will be able to adapt the activities as needed for your own practice. Having the text written directly for military parents also allows you the opportunity to loan the kit to your client or “assign” specific activities as “homework” between sessions. Please note that Chapter 2: Compassionate Listening and Guidance includes specific strategies for guiding children and families to express emotions, problem-solve, and celebrate feelings. While these strategies are written for parents, they were developed in collaboration with and have been used successfully by mental health providers.
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Feelings Can Be Messy… Kimochis Can Help ™
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