Humour

The Zen of Chickens

by Derek Thompson

You can learn a lot about life from a chicken. Behind that beak and those golden eyes lies a creature bristling with poultry wisdom. Be in the moment. Chickens seem to have a very short attention span, unless they’re on the trail of a worm. However, they’re actually demonstrating an Be curious about the world. Chickens are life’s fence that I blocked with some feeble bamboo canes and never got round to repairing properly, the last wild strawberry, or a snail who thought hiding behind the coop was a foolproof survival strategy. Celebrate your successes. The commotion a chicken makes before, while and after laying an egg is surely one of Nature’s cruellest jokes. Short of ringing a dinner bell, it’s the most mile radius. Be how you feel. Our cat learned early on that it’s wise to keep out of the path of a broody, moody hen. She also discovered they can run surprisingly fast and launch themselves at unwitting felines. Me? I learned that the term ‘an affectionate peck’ doesn’t apply to poultry. Make time to relax. When they’re not eating, chickens like nothing better than sitting still and watching the world go by. Or, if it’s a sunny day, a spot of Chicken Yoga might be in order. You can forget about downward dog, cat posture or doing the cobra. For chickens, the yogic routine of the neck and then it’s time to sprawl out in the warm. And if it’s cold outside? They snuggle up together in what I call the ‘tea cosies’ posture. Eat your greens – and give peas a chance. Impressionable children the world over would have no qualms about devouring chard, lettuce or spinach (to name but three) if they had a chicken for a role model. And, being life’s gourmet connoisseurs, chickens will also happily try tomatoes, grapes, porridge, roast potatoes, bananas, raisins and spaghetti. Although someone we once met, who declared that she fed her hens leftover bacon and eggs, did, I feel, overstep the mark a little. The early bird really does get the worm. Although the slightly delayed bird may succeed in taking it off you, if you don’t pay attention. Opportunity not only knocks, it grabs too. Care for your environment. Once again, chickens lead by example. Whether it’s pulling up the weeds, providing some essential pest control or aerating the soil, chickens are constantly on the lookout for ways to contribute. Play to your strengths. glide and their singing isn’t up to much. But... they don’t waste food, or an opportunity, and they make eggcellent companions.