Lessons in Opening Up

L esson s in Op en in g U p

Kirstyn Liang

Lessons in Opening Up A book of poems

by Kirstyn Liang

Illustrated by Andrea Liang

“To be vulnerable is to allow yourself to be loved” - Anonymous

1

Things cannot be articulated But still I want to reach As closely as I can To make the world feel Less alone

2

3

I’m overwhelmed And that’s okay It’s even sometimes nice

4

5

Bits of the day Remain At the edge of my fork During every meal I consume the memories Again and again Nourished On the daily details Of simply being Alive

6

I ate chips today And I never eat chips Like crisps I think I’m avoiding something

7

8

Well At least these tears Will make the flowers Grow 9

10

Why is my heart So heavy lately?

11

Maybe because It’s so full

12

Clogged up brain There is so much sloshing As if any minute movement Will only add Can I With you While

I think it’s about time You are a home feeling For me

13

around inside to the tumult lie down Telepathically you stroke my hair Massaging the thoughts Into a more managable order? that I told you

14

My insides are overflowing And spilling out Onto you And you look at my mess Like it’s magic 15

16

17

You listen to me expell My deepest dreams Catching their seeds as they spring From my chest Cradling each detail In the nest of your hand So that when tides bring forth My doubtful days And leave me soaked In despair You can feed me my own seeds Again Redreaming my dreams back to me (You are becoming myself outside myself)

18

You’re afraid Because you’re falling And you know what I’m afraid Because I’m falling And I don’t I have

19

this means

no idea what this means

20

Music and laughter And dancing and Love Finding ourselves When we lose ourselves

21

22

Like a kaleidoscope Your love Shatters me Into a million facets Of joy And anguish And everything in between A fragmented whole Myself All at once

23

24

I’m sorry If I get too passionate Or easily upset It’s just that Sometimes I feel like I carry The hurt From other generations In my soul 25

26

I push you away To make more space For myself But now I just feel Empty 27

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31

I had learnt to think thoughts But not to voice them I’m now learning To voice thoughts I didn’t realise I could think

32

Endless possibility Looks back at me With bright Expectant eyes And I wonder Why Freedom and fear Often feel like The same thing

33

34

I carry The Leaving Feeling With me Everywhere I go Everywhere I go I go I Go

35

36

The feeling of home Is everywhere I find it In unsupecting corners Shells That sound like the sea Piping hot noodles For breakfast Smiles From a stranger Familiar melodies On the bus A warm embrace A helpful hand Brewing coffee At 11am Autumn leaves Crunching to the beat Of my footsteps 37

“Here, have the last slice�

Banter Before the movie starts Lemongrass candles Ginger tea Being happy In my own skin Home Always, At last

38

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Copyright Š 2018 Kirstyn Liang, All Rights Reserved First published on issuu.com on 3 June 2018