Sixth and Gibbs Church of Christ
IMPACT July 2015
Parenting Beyond the Why Following Through with the How and When by Aaron Earlywine You will become a shoulder to cry on if you stand with your children as an encourager. You will also be a tremendous testimony of their success as you help them press on. In order to be their encourager though, you have to know what makes their hearts beat... what gets them excited. Completing a task is not something we all enjoy. I find myself the most fulfilled at a task well done. My wife on the other hand is thrilled at the process of completing tasks but not necessarily the finished product. Not that my wife's personality is more spiritual than mine but Paul seems in encourage followers of Jesus to get good at the process and allow Jesus the say in terms of the final product. Paul says it like this in the book of Philippians: "Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect but I press on to make it my own because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Let those of us who are mature think this way and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you. Only let us hold true to what we have attained." Philippians 3:12-16 Typically, the difficulty in parenting and in our own individual spiritual disciplines is that we understand the why but fail to answer the questions of how and when will I accomplish the why. Paul gives us a reason why and then helps us comprehend the how. Our goal according to Paul, is to live for Jesus. Why, because Jesus "made me his own." So, then we are left with the most difficult part of scripture... the application, this is the how! Paul gives us a few key words to work out how we are supposed to make this faith in Jesus our own. He says we have to Forget, Strain Forward, Press On and Hold True. Let's take a look at how the importance of the how helps us to be better parents and individuals. Forget: "Forgetting what lies behind..." Here is a great lesson in context. God certainly doesn't want us to forget every-
thing in our past. And He certainly doesn't want us to forget the past of our children either. In fact the Lord calls us to consistently remember through the Lord's Supper. He tells the Israelites not to forget the things they have seen or how the Lord led them out of Israel. We aren't supposed to forget everything about our past... we are simply called to forget anything that would hold us back from making Jesus our own. There are 2 things that come to mind that can hold us back. Resting upon the successes of the past ("I've got it all together") or falling into the hopelessness of past mistakes ("I will never be anything"). These two past tense statements not only hinder our individual growth but can also hinder parents raising their children. It is equally possible for parents to live in the past successes of their children or to be brought down by their past mistakes. So, the question is HOW (?!?!) do we forget the things we need to forget? #1 Careful of Over Praise or Ridiculous ExpectationsOur kids can do incredible things on purpose and on accident. On occasion the reminder of past success is demoralizing for our children as if they can never attain that again OR only rising to that bar will make their parents happy. As parents we can also ignore or miss red flags are children are sending up because in the past they were "so good." Here is the truth behind the how of this one: In order to know how you are doing as a parent, you have to know your children. Spend time with them; ask them open ended questions over a bowl of ice cream. How do they view themselves in terms of their past successes and failures? #2 Careful of No PraiseSometimes we have a hard time praising our children because we don't always want to compliment them for doing what they are supposed to do. So, we end up not giving them any praise and they can also think and feel that they are never good enough. We all can use an occasional compliment, proof that someone does care. In any relationship try a simple compliment, WITH NO STRINGS ATTACHED, and see how that works for you. continue C
One great barometer of how you are doing with this: is to measure how they react to a compliment. Take a minute out of your day and compliment them. How they respond can key you into how they view their past and themselves. If they struggle to accept a compliment, it is time for you to do some investigating... maybe on the spot but continue your compliments until you can better understanding of why they struggle to accept it. Take time in your conversations to discuss God's love and grace and how you too have learned and struggled yourself. Strain Forward One of the most amazing feelings in all of life is riding a bicycle downhill. I've never had the opportunity to ride a motorcycle but my guess is, it's the same feeling. The difference between the two is how you get to the downhill part of a ride. In order to go downhill on a bike, you must go uphill. I always prefer to ride the uphill part first, to enjoy the downhill part second. The uphill part is a picture of straining for me. It's painful. It's hard. Without the expectation of the downhill, it certainly doesn't feel worth it. Here in Philippians we have been given the why of straining forward: to take hold and live in the power of Jesus. Why ride uphill? Because there is a downhill. Why remain faithful in the hard times? Because of the incredible promises that come. It is always easier to take the easy way out. As parents we struggle to discipline our children because it takes time out of what we want to do. Our kids if not given a reason to strain forward simply won't rise to the occasion. Don't be afraid to use positive reinforcement for good actions, also known as bribes. Too much bribing is bad. Yet every once in a while, we have to give our kids a downhill ride to look forward to. "If you can get through a hard assignment... you can pick dinner tonight." A saying I remember from my years of playing soccer: Nothing worth attaining is easily accomplished! We can't be afraid of hard work. If we aren't working hard we certainly cannot expect our kids to. Don't mistake being busy with hard work. Just because we are doing something doesn't mean we are actually working hard. Work hard and teach your children to do the same. Take time then to enjoy the downhill. Press On There are so many times in life that we give up and miss the opportunities of success. I know far too many pastors, teachers and parents that give up too early. One
very important key to success in anything is never to press on during the difficult times. We can be so afraid of failure that instead of struggling through something we give up and walk away. Michael Jordan has missed more game winning shots than any basketball player in history... conversely he is considered one of the greatest because he had made more game winning shots than any player in history. Parenting takes on an awesome role in this area. We have to be the encouragers of our children and stand beside them as they press on. Tears are a big part of this, as anyone who has pressed on knows. Failure is not your enemy; learn from the struggles of pressing on. You will become a shoulder to cry on if you stand with your children as an encourager. You will also be a tremendous testimony of their success as you help them press on. In order to be their encourager though, you have to know what makes their hearts beat... what gets them excited. Hold True Paul lastly tells his people to "Hold true to what we have attained." (vs. 16) Honest assessment is a huge key to becoming the person you and the Lord want you to become. We have to ask ourselves time and time again: Am I where I am supposed to be? Are your children where they are supposed to be? Growing up I remember the intro line to the 10 o'clock news in Boise Idaho was: "It's 10 o'clock, do you know where your children are?" Sure, that's not a bad step but we have to know where are children are not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually. What makes them tick? What inspires them? How are they doing in their relationship with Jesus? Is your life worth as a parent worth imitating?
My prayer for young people today and for the parents of our young ones is that they will be inspired to be all that the Lord is calling them to be. That the world around us won't hold us back and that together we can live in the lives the Lord is calling us to live in! You are not alone.
Love Circle Worship Practice
Missions team
Worship Practice
JR Camp 1
Worship Practice
Middle school 1 camp
Worship Practice
High school camp
First chance
Worship Practice
Camp
Sixth and Gibbs Church of Christ
Events
Missions Team Meeting
Love Circle Lunch
Sunday July 5th Following 2nd Service
Tuesday July 7th El Tapatio @ 1:00 PM
6th and Gibbs Church Potluck BBQ! July 19th
Following 2nd Service
We will provide the hamburgers and hotdogs. Please bring a side dish to share. Invite your friends and family!
Volunteers Needed! July 16-18 Thursday 7pm-10pm Friday 10am-10pm Saturday 10am-10pm Sign up in the Foyer.
Youth and Children’s Ministry News! It's July and that means that summer is well underway! The summer began with the end of a chapter in the life of our oldest student, Tristan Steig. He graduated from High School on Saturday June 6th. He is the first student that is graduating since I started working here at the Church. We will miss him but know he will go off and do some great things at Boise Bible College. The day after that, on June 7th, we had our annual "Bring Your Parents to Youth Group." We will be taking a few months off of our weekly meetings but that doesn't mean we won't be doing anything Youth Group related. We will be having monthly events. Our first one was on June 20th out at Raymond and Lenette's house. During our Summer Kick-Off we played yard games,
ate BBQ and played a giant game of kickball. On July 9th and 16th we will be going out to Helen Hull's house to swim. We will meet at the church around 10:30am and get back around 3:15pm. It's going to be hot out there so make sure to bring your sunscreen. Lastly I would like to ask you to be praying for the students that are a part of our church, this summer. They will be going to different events, like Camp and CIY, and they will be experiencing God in amazing ways. I'm very excited that we will be taking 15 kids to CIY this year. Thank you so much for your support. God Bless, Seth Bailey
Youth Ministry
Events
Youth Group Swim Party! at Helen Hull’s home July 9th and 16th 11am - 3pm
Meet at the church at 10:30am and invite your friends!!!