8 minute read
PICKLES FOR MY BABY
EDITORS NOTE: THE FOLLOWING IS A VERY PERSONAL TESTIMONY SHARED BY A COVENANT MEMBER OF OUR CHURCH FAMILY. DUE TO THE SENSITIVE NATURE, THE AUTHOR HAS ASKED TO REMAIN ANONYMOUS.
It was my sophomore year in college when I received the news that would change my whole life.
Advertisement
I was in a toxic relationship with a man that was both abusive mentally and physically. I knew I had to get out of the relationship, but I didn’t know how. Before I could end things, it happened. The one thing that would forever change my life from that point forward. I became pregnant. I was so scared. All I could think of was I just ruined my life. I would lose my scholarship, my education, and now I would never be free from the abuse of this man.
I was consumed in my own thoughts and did not really think about my options or what I would do, until someone mentioned abortion. At first, I was angry at even the thought of aborting my baby, but then a sense of relief began to settle in my mind. After all, this could be my way out! I could continue in school. No one would ever have to know. I could live my life the way I wanted to, the way I had planned. I talked with my mother and she agreed with me. She could relate to my situation because she had my sister and I when she was a teenager and she wanted better for me. She knew how difficult it was to raise a child at a young age. This was it. Abortion must be the answer.
The more I thought about having an abortion, another thought began to penetrate my mind.
I thought to myself, How selfish of me. How selfish to take the life of this child, who is not at fault. But then, was it not selfish of me to bring a child into this situation? This mess I had created? My thoughts were at war within me. A cloud of confusion surrounded my mind. I decided to call my dad to talk it over with him. He already knew of my situation. The phone rang and as soon as he answered, he said, “I know y’all talked about abortion for this baby, but we ain’t doing that crap!”
In that moment, all the confusion cleared. Just having someone say “We ain’t doing that.” I remember thinking, “Well this is my dad, and I must listen to my dad!” A weight lifted off my shoulders. Just having someone support me was all I needed to have the strength to choose life for my child. The next thing my dad talked about was feeding my baby pickles. What a random thing to say in the moment! But to this day, when I go my dad’s house, the first thing he offers to my kids are pickles and all my children LOVE them! Every time I see those pickles, they remind me of my story and how pickles validated the life inside my womb.
There were two things I learned that day. One, you never know what may help someone process information and make things “real.” For me, it was the idea of my dad feeding my child pickles. It was in that moment, right then and there, I decided to keep my baby. And the other thing I learned was to never underestimate the power of a father’s love and support. It’s what saved my baby’s life.
Although I had made my choice, it did not change the immense stress of my relationship with the father of my baby. At the time I found out I was pregnant, I discovered he had also gotten another girl pregnant. I did not know how things were going to work out, and I was too scared to end our relationship. Strangely enough, we decided to move so he could be closer to both of his children. The day came for his first daughter to be born, and then four short months later, our daughter was born. Things went from bad to worse. The stress of having two little baby girls to care for and the strain of our relationship only made the abuse increase.
I felt trapped, like there was no way out.
I remember one night just praying to God, “I want my daughter to grow up seeing her momma being respected and loved just like Jesus loves His church.” I had no idea what that meant at the time. I was a Christian by default. I was raised in the South where everyone called themselves a Christian. I really did not know how to pray, but this one prayer I prayed fervently and repeatedly. I have no doubt, God heard those prayers. He not only heard them, He answered them and gave me the strength and courage to get out of that awful relationship.
I made a plan and called my mom for help. I did not tell him I was leaving until I was literally walking out of the door to get into my mom’s car. I was terrified to tell him beforehand. As much as I knew I had to get away from him to protect myself and my child, my heart was torn in two. I felt like I had just broken our family to pieces. I had fallen in love with his other little girl too, as she spent a lot of time at our house.
I remember the night I left, she laid sleeping so sweet and sound. I knelt beside her bed and apologized to her for leaving and then I kissed her little face for the last time. I felt like I was losing a child, but I knew I had to leave for the sake of my own.
I knew I wanted to finish school, and I wanted to make a way for my baby and me. So instead of moving back home, I had my mom drive us to a tiny apartment in Mobile. I went to school full-time and worked part-time. Most days were hard; some were awful. There were days I did not think I would make it; days I wondered how I was going to survive. But then the next day would come, and by some miracle, we had everything we needed. I finally came to a point though when I could go no further. I had reached the end of me, and I hit rock bottom. It was there that I met Jesus in a real way. I remember thinking, how do I trust God? What does that even look like? And in the next breath saying, “Okay, God, I am trusting You because I have nothing more to give.” That was the start of my relationship with the Lord.
A lot of time has passed since that day I placed my trust in Jesus. I am now happily married to my husband of ten years, and we are blessed with four beautiful children. I often look at my sweet daughter and my eyes fill with tears at the thought that I could have taken her precious life in a matter of minutes. Without her, I do not know where I would be today, or more importantly, who I would be today. Her life led me to the foot of the cross, and it is why I can share with you the story of God’s miraculous grace. It is also why I am passionate about helping men and women make life-affirming choices every day and why the work of Women’s Care Medical Center means so much to me. I was once a broken, scared, 19-year-old woman with no idea how I was going to make it with a baby. What I discovered was that God had a plan, and He could make a way. And His plan. . . well let’s just say it was way better than anything I could ever imagined for myself. All I had to do was trust in Him. I had no idea what it meant to trust Him, but in all fairness, I told Him that and He met me where I was and walked with me every single day!
I will never forget the day my daughter and I walked into Mars Hill in Mobile when it was in the strip mall. I was scared to death to go, but I worked up the courage. We walked in, then we walked out. I was thinking, This can’t be a church. I went out into the parking lot and looked up at the sign to make sure it said Mars Hill. It did! We walked back in and I thought, again, nope, not a church! We literally walked back out! Third times a charm, right?! We walked in again and someone said, “Ma’am, are you here for church?” Instant relief!
“Yes! Where is church?” I asked. He said, “Right here. . . you made it!”
BIBLICAL TEACHING: An article from the Christian Broadcasting Network, “The Church and the Single Mom” (Maggio, Jennifer), really resonates with the author of this testimony. You can find this article at cbn.com
AUTHENTIC COMMUNITY: Have an honest conversation within your community group about how you are actively supporting vulnerable families. Both men and women have vital roles to play.
FAMILY DISCIPLESHIP: As a family, donate baby supplies to your local crisis pregnancy center. Mobile: Women’s Resource Center • Fairhope: Women’s Care Medical Center
3 PILLAR RESOURCES
Jared C. Wilson
