Knoxville Parent - February 2014 by Knoxville Parent

Fe b r u a r y 2 0 1 4

Fr e e

Some things are only for kids.

Children are not small adults. And when it comes to medical care, they have much different needs. At Children’s Hospital, we understand that the first step in treating a child is to make them feel comfortable and safe — and that’s something we do every day. We’re passionate about treating children. After all, we’re not just a hospital, we’re Children’s Hospital.

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KNOXVILLE

A Message From the Publishers

February 2014 Volume III • Issue 2 Michael Kull and Eva Nations, Publishers Advisory Board

Contributing Writers

Sr. Mary Marta Abbott, RSM The Diocese of Knoxville

Caleb Carlton Jeffrey Eberting, D.M.D., M.S. Marcin Gornisiewicz, M.D. Audrey Madigan Tracey Matthews Jim McIntyre, Ph.D. Erin Nguyen Marek Pienkowski, M.D., Ph.D. Kathryn Rea Smith, Ph.D. Michael K. Smith, Ph.D Liz Stucke Michael Torano Barry Van Over Aaron Yarnell

Marie Alcorn United Way of Greater Knoxville Mike Bailey Small Business Representative Paul Parson East Tennessee Children’s Hospital Tracey Matthews Knox County Schools Family and Community Engagement Elizabeth Pooley Marketing Professional Lee Tramel Knox County Sheriff ’s Department

Dear Readers, This month’s issue is filled with information and advice relating to teens. Throughout the year, we receive requests for advice about the challenges parents face in guiding their children into adulthood. We turned to our writers to respond to these requests, and they have eagerly replied through the lenses of their expertise and their own personal experiences. We have compiled a wonderful collection of articles that are both educational and current for our time. As you read these important messages, we invite you to share your own thoughts, ideas and questions with us for future Knoxville Parent issues. Also, please visit us online at KnoxvilleParent.com, where you can read, share and even translate posts automatically to the language of your choice. Sincerely, Eva Nations and Michael Kull

Contributing Photographers Great Smokey Mountains Institute at Tremont Knoxville Opera Michael Kull Liz Stucke

Liza Zenni The Arts and Culture Alliance of Greater Knoxville

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Contents 3

A Letter From The Publishers

11 Preventing Teenage Alcohol and Drug Problems

Shots No More

12 Understanding Teens’ “Love Languages”

Why Do Teenagers Have to Take the ACT or SAT?

13 Children Need Specialized Eye Care

Do You Know What Your Kids Are Downloading?

A Message From The Superintendent

Great Recent Reads For Teens

14 Not Just For Tennis Players 15 Teens And Physical Activity 16 Transitioning Through Life With Nature 17 Help! I’m Suffering From...Adolescence!

College Planning Timeline

18 An Elixir Of Fun

Knoxville Parent, LLC PO Box 52605 Knoxville, TN 37950, phone 865.622.9680 • fax 888.457.9602 The entire contents of this publication are copyrighted and property of Knoxville Parent. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the express written consent of the publishers. Knoxville Parent utilize freelance writers, and the views expressed within this publication are not necessarily the views of the publishers or editors. Knoxville Parent takes no responsibility for unsolicited manuscripts or other materials. Letters to the editor must include name, address and daytime phone number for verification. Knoxville Parent reserve the right to edit letters for space and clarity. Please keep letters within 500 words in length.

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Knoxville Parent • February 2014

Shots No More

A new development in the treatment of allergies? by Marek M. Pienkowski, M.D., Ph.D.

ith the recent chilly weather and snow on the ground, we are all looking forward to the upcoming spring weather. Unfortunately for some 30% of young teens, this also means allergy season. It is not only sneezing, coughing, wheezing headaches and fatigue. Allergies can affect school performance and teens grades go down, which in turn can interfere with college preparation and scholarship hopes. Indeed, for some youngsters, allergy immunotherapy with injections by needles, although very effective, is simply very terrifying. Antihistamines are however of limited value in overall treatment of allergies and are often quite sedating, adding to the allergy fatigue symptoms. However, there are new and encouraging developments in the management of allergic disease, one of which is, “allergy immunotherapy tablets.”

“Most recently, the FDA Allergenic F Products Advisory Committee reviewed and approved two oral allergy immunotherapy tablets for the treatment of allergies.”

There is currently a great deal of ongoing medical t research to improve the treatment methods for allergic conditions q and syndromes. Most recently, the FDA Allergenic Products Advisory e Committee reviewed and approved two oral allergy immunotherapy tablets for the treatment of allergies. 1 Those individuals who suffer in the summer with allergies to Timothy i grass and five northern grasses could soon have an oral tablet for their o treatment. Those who suffer from allergy to ragweed in the fall could also m have an oral tablet for immunotherapy to short ragweed. The full approval b Marek M. Pienkowski, M.D., Ph.D. was educated in clinical immunology and marketing for this tablet will likely begin in the spring of 2014. at Johns Hopkins School of Medicine in Baltimore and internal medicine at H This pill would be by prescription and reimbursable by your insurance Henry Ford Hospital in Detroit. Dr. Pienkowski has been serving patients ( in East Tennessee with allergies, asthma and immunological disorders for companies. t nearly 30 years through Allergic Diseases, Asthma & Immunology Clinic, The oral tablet (given sublingually) differs significantly from “sublingual b OCOEE-Big Book Ad 2014.eps @ 66.7% (CMYK/8) P.C.. Active both in biomedical research and academia, he has published drops.” You can purchase sublingual drops as a form of “food supplement” o more than sixty scientific papers as well as two books. a from the vitamin section of your grocery store, or have it dispensed b in a clinic that is not FDA approved. t b Neither of these options is o reimbursable by insurance. An allergy specialist should always t t evaluate each patient individually and perform a clinical examination L first. Then, the allergy specialist m can determine if the oral allergy c immunotherapy tablet would be the h best treatment plan to manage the t allergic condition. e Oral allergy immunotherapy m tablets will not be able to replace t allergy immunotherapy with m injections. Allergy immunotherapy a with injections can be formulated to bring relief to patients with multiple A environmental allergies, while the oral tablets will only work for a few specific allergens. However, this will add a significant new option of allergy treatment for needle-phobic children and teens.

Knoxville Parent • February 2014

by Michael K. Smith, Ph.D.

Why Do Teenagers Have to Take the ACT or SAT?

c or thirty years, I have helped high school Fstudents prepare for the important college eadmissions, the ACT or SAT. These students are test preparation because higher test scores lenduring can lead to scholarships and facilitate selection into college of their choice. Most of these teenagers, rahowever, often ask me these questions: Why do I

“Thus, just going to high school wasn’t enough: students needed to prove their aptitude or achievement in addition to whatever courses they completed.”

need to take these tests? Why can’t colleges just use my grades, my choice of courses, my extracurricular courses. The SAT was considered to measure general and leadership activities, and my athletic prowess aptitude for high level college coursework while to admit me and give me money? To answer these the ACT promoted itself as a national achievement questions, let’s look at a brief history of these two test. Thus, just going to high school wasn’t enough: examinations. Michael Smith works with Catholic High students needed to prove their aptitude or The first SAT was constructed in Princeton in School junior Matt Holloway on preparation achievement in addition to whatever courses they 1926 by Carl Campbell Brigham. Modeled on the for the ACT. completed. intelligence testing movement, the first versions Fortunately, students can prepare for these tests of this test had verbal and mathematical tests to and improve scores to a certain extent. I have been proud to help hundreds of measure “aptitude” for college. The test was promoted in the next decade students achieve their collegiate goals by admission to a college of their choice by James Bryant Conant, then President of Harvard. After World War II, with scholarships. I can’t rewrite history but I can help students realize they Henry Chauncey used the test as he founded the Educational Testing Service aren’t victims of a hundred years of educational testing. (ETS). The SAT was originally conceived to identify those individuals with the highest “merit” or ability to not only perform well in college but to also become leaders of society. Curiously, by the 1930s, Harvard admissions were often determined by who could afford the tuition. Conant complained often about how his undergraduates were lazy and partied too much. He wanted to bring talented individuals to Harvard, from any part of the country, and give E & MOR them full scholarships. So, the SAT (renamed as the Scholastic Aptitude Test) OV IES M , ’S D C O OK S , became the Ivy League admissions standard. By the 1950s, Chauncey conceived USED B of all high school students taking this test with the highest scorers being sent to the most prestigious schools. ETS became a monopoly on college admissions testing. E. L. Lindquist in the late 1950s decided to challenge this monopoly. 230 Papermill Pl Way Lindquist had created the widely successful Iowa tests, still used today in Knoxville RE S & MO many school systems. He now created the American College Test or ACT as a , MOV IE ’S D C , 7734 Lee B Hwy competitor to the SAT. Lindquist viewed the ACT as an “achievement test” and O OK S USED Chattanooga his philosophy was completely different from Chauncey’s. Lindquist wanted NEXT TO THUNDER CREEK HARLEY DAVIDSON to admit as many students as possible to college, the strength of the American educational system in his view. So the ACT was used to find all students who STORE HOURS might succeed in any of America’s various colleges. Lindquist aimed to expand 9am-9pm Mon-Thurs the undergraduate pool while Chauncey and ETS aimed to limit it to the most 9am-10pm Fri/Sat meritorious. Consequently, the ACT exam contained tests that were more 11am-7pm Sun aligned with high school curricula than are subtests of the SAT. (SEASONLY STORE Today’s teenagers are caught in this historical vortex. Both the SAT and HOURS WILL VARY) ACT were seen as providing more and better information than grades in

y a K Mc y a K Mc MCKAYBOOKS.COM

Michael K. Smith, Ph.D., is owner of TESTPREP EXPERTS (www.testprepexperts.com ) which prepares students for standardized tests such as the ACT and SAT. He is also a consultant to Discovery Education Assessment. He can reached at mike@testprepexperts.com.

explore with your child!

Knoxville Parent • February 2014

Do You Know What Your Kids Are Downloading? by Detective Aaron Yarnell, Knox County Sheriff ’s Office

nap Chat me, shoot me an I.M., don’t forget it’s #tbt (Throw back Thursday) and get your guy picked out for #MCM (man crush Monday). If these phrases are unfamiliar to you, then this article you are reading now should spark an interest in getting involved with the digital lives your children are living. The digital life I refer to is social media. #Hashtags, @references, and text messaging are all examples of digital terminology your children are using just as common as us old school communicators may say “Cool” or “Awesome.” Social media is not a fad. Social media is a change in the way we communicate. Do we want our children communicating in a language we don’t understand? The growth of social media can be directly related back to technology, with mobile devices becoming more common. The money generated from social media is another motivator. So, let’s start with the first reason social media has become such an integral part of our lives. Kids are being introduced to

technology at such a young age, that over half of middle school kids have some kind of cellular device. How do you blame parents for that? A way to help your child reach out to you in case there is a need? For less than it would cost for a new outfit, you can purchase a cell phone for safety purposes for your child. But, remember, safety works in different ways. It’s nice to have a method of reaching your children any time you need, but don’t neglect to protect them from predators who are using social media in your communities as a way to find children. The second reason for the massive growth is money in advertisements. Pinterest alone generates over 40 percent of social media purchases online, and half of the people reading this article don’t even use Pinterest. Imagine the money generated by more popular social media sites! These kinds of numbers explain why there are over 800 social media apps alone on the Apple market, each one trying to be the next Twitter, Facebook, or Pinterest. This is not mentioning the data texting apps, such

Knoxville Parent • February 2014

“There will be times when kids will make mistakes and download apps or visits websites you will be unsure of. I encourage you to follow my blog at www.socialsafetypatrol. com, where I review popular social media sites and applications your children are being exposed to.”

as Kik, or the photo sharing social media apps, such as Snap Chat or Instagram. In recent news, Snap Chat turned down a nearly 4 billion dollar Facebook buy out. How much money might owners think their companies are going to be worth to turn down 4 billion dollars? A lot. Social media can be a fun way to keep in touch with friends and family, but bad guys are there, too, just like in “real life.” I enjoy social media and what it can offer if used responsibly. The most concerning problem for parents is not knowing what their own children are doing online with social media today. We have to first accept that there is a generation gap between us, our children and technology. Accept the fact that you are going to have to put a strong effort into educating yourself about social media. If you are going to allow your child to be online, understand what they are doing and the dangers behind it. I encourage parents to set up social media sites on themselves to be able to have access to their accounts at anytime. Also, set some ground rules: be the first friend to get an invite from them, and show them the dangers of the social media site you are allowing them to use. Most young teens will want to start with an Instagram account and possibly a data text messaging app such as Kik. Be able to communicate with them about the sites they are visiting and what the potential dangers might be. You want them to come home from school and ask you about a free app they heard about, or

a website they were made aware of. Once you do your own research, then determine if the app is appropriate or not for your child to use. We do not want our children relying on other children to explain social media apps. Once you have decided which social media sites you are going to allow your child to use, don’t take for granted that your child will understand it completely. Monitor your child’s posts daily, and make sure they understand that anything they post or send out can never be deleted. We have to be responsible for our children until they are old enough to be responsible for themselves. There will be times when kids will make mistakes and download apps or visit websites you will be unsure of. I encourage you to follow my blog at www.socialsafetypatrol. com where I review popular social media sites and applications your children are being exposed to. Never forget that education is the key to safety for your children on the Internet. Detective Aaron Yarnell works with the Major Crimes and Family Crisis unit of the Knox County Sheriff ’s Office. In addition, Aaron instructs local citizens on the growing social media world along with the technology that follows it. His SMART Initiative helps educate parents on keeping children safe in a growing social media and technology filled world. Aaron also maintains SocialSafetyPatrol.com, a blog that rates social media apps. Detective Yarnell has been with KCSO since May 1995.

Marek M. Pienkowski M.D., Ph.D.

Graduate of the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine in Allergy & Immunology

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Knoxville Parent • February 2014

Dear Knox County Schools’ Families

• •

s we continue the fifth year of the implementation of our five-year strategic plan, I reflect upon some of the specific strategies we have put in place in the Knox County Schools to enable our students to be adequately prepared for college, career and life: • Multiple pathways and strategies to success – Creating pathways designed to meet the needs of struggling students and those who excel. Magnet programming, interventions, access to Advanced Placement (AP), dual enrollment and dual credit experiences, creation of a Career Magnet Academy in partnership with Pellissippi State Community College and the Knoxville Chamber, as well as the creation of an International Baccalaureate (IB) program are just a few examples of our work in this area. Small Learning Communities – Divides large populations of students into smaller groups to create a more personalized learning environment to better meet students’ needs. Freshman academies – Provides our ninth graders additional support as they transition from middle school to high school. Research shows if a student

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“For the first time since the Tennessee State Report Card began issuing grades in the year 2000, the Knox County Schools scored straight As in achievement.”

has a successful freshman year, he or she is more likely to graduate from high school. • Graduation coaches – A critical form of support that helps ensure each student is prepared to graduate on time. I will be updating the community on many of these strategies contained in our Strategic Plan during the third annual State of the Schools Address scheduled for Tuesday, February 11, 2014, at 6 p.m. at Hardin Valley Academy. More specifically, I will provide our community with an overview of academic progress in the Knox County Schools, give an update on implementation of our five-year strategic plan and outline our educational goals and aspirations for the coming year. This report to the community will give me an opportunity to share the work needed to prepare our students for transitions they will face as they engage in today’s global and competitive society. Please join us for this important update on public education in our community! We are enjoying unprecedented levels of success in many areas in the Knox County Schools. For the first time since the Tennessee State Report Card began issuing grades in the year 2000, the Knox County Schools scored straight As in achievement. We have advanced from Cs to Bs in value-added in reading/language arts and science, and the district improved from a B to an A in math. These are tremendous academic results for children, and I recognize these results could not have been possible without the outstanding work of our teachers and staff coupled with the support and input of our parents and community. As we have engaged our community in a process to define the educational priorities for the next five years, one thing is very clear to me: You care. You are enormously invested in what’s best for our students, and together, we will continue to work to achieve our very ambitious goal of Excellence for All Children. The next five years will be ever more critical to our reaching our goals of providing the best education possible for our students in a supportive and positive educational environment. I’m excited about our future. Sincerely, Jim McIntyre Superintendent, Knox County Schools

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Knoxville Parent • February 2014

Great Recent Reads For Teens Compiled by Erin Nguyen

All the Truth That’s in Me by Julie Berry In this suspenseful tale, Judith returns home after two years in captivity unable to speak, but she must find a way to tell her neighbors her story when their village is attacked by enemies.

Children’s Department, Knox County Public Library

Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell Bullied redhead Eleanor and brooding half-Korean Park couldn’t be more different, but over the course of a school year in 1986 they form an unlikely The Coldest Girl in Cold Town bond through comics, by Holly Black music, and a growing Tana survives a vampire attack love for one another. at a party, but must flee to the vampire town of Coldtown with her infected ex-boyfriend and vampire Gavriel in order to stay alive in this thriller that stands out from other recent vampire stories.

The 5th Wave by Rick Yancey After surviving the first four waves of an alien invasion, sixteen-year-old Cassie is determined to save herself and her brother from the next attack in this exciting start to a new science fiction series.

Out of the Easy by Ruta Sepetys Seventeen-year-old Josie Moraine will do anything to escape her life on the seedy side of 1950’s New Orleans, but the difficult circumstances surrounding her, including her mother’s possible connection to a murder, sometimes seem insurmountable.

Just One Day by Gayle Forman When American good girl Allyson impulsively abandons her educational tour of Europe to accompany Dutch actor Willem on a whirlwind day trip to Paris, she is thrown for a loop when he disappears, causing her to question her life and spend the next year finding herself. A Corner of White by Jaclyn Moriarty In this clever, original fantasy, two teenagers, a girl and a boy, living in parallel universes, begin corresponding by letter through a crack between their worlds. They discover that they may be able to help each other with problems both big and small despite their distance.

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Knoxville Parent • February 2014

College Planning Timeline Article and photo by Liz Stucke, President of Admissions Prep

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“Junior year marks the official start of the college search and application process.”

friend of mine with older children warned me, “As soon as your daughter starts high school, it’s over…. She’ll be off to college in the blink of an eye.” While I resist the societal nudge toward prepping children for college from the start of preschool, it is true that much of high school is spent with an eye towards college admissions. Here is a year-by-year Junior Year: guide to help your child nudge towards Junior year marks the official start of the college: college search and application process. In addition to continuing to focus on a Freshman Year: challenging academic and extracurricular Establish Study Habits, Challenge and schedule, students should consider these Explore. Starting freshman year, all steps: grades become part of your child’s official • PSAT Exam. This year’s PSAT transcript. This year will also involve will be considered for National Merit some turbulence as students adjust to new Scholarships and will help identify the challenges with an increased academic preparation needed for the SAT and workload and demanding extracurricular ACT. activities. Promote efficient ways University of Wisconsin, Madison. • Complete a College Interests to manage the various demands. For Survey. Your child will want to identify several desired example, your child could complete a math assignment during college features based on her sophomore year casual visits the car ride to swim practice, or break up studying for exams and research. into smaller pieces throughout a week. If your child is acing • Generate an Initial College List. Based on her interests and her classes, then she might need more challenging classes. This test scores, help your child research and explore colleges is the year to experiment and adjust to ensure your child is and then create an initial college interests list. learning, challenging herself, and exploring a variety of activities. • Schedule Official College Visits. Sign up for a tour and Sophomore Year: if possible arrange to sit in on a class. Have your child • Academic and Extracurricular Progress. Ensure that assess, “Would I like to go to school with these people? your child is on the right academic track. Is he being Would I feel comfortable in these types of classes (lecture challenged and yet able to master the material? Is he taking hall or small group discussion)? Could I see myself living full advantage of the breadth of classes, including the IB on campus?” program or AP classes, or is he on track to take those • Create an Application Strategy. Help your child decide courses in his junior year? Is he getting support either within whether to apply Early Action or Early Decision (which the school or from a tutor if he is struggling? Sophomore is binding), who will write recommendations, which year is the time to ensure your child puts his best academic scholarships to target, and what he wants to highlight in foot forward. It is also time to further explore his outside various parts of the application. interests. If he is interested in writing, suggest he write for the school paper, contribute to a non-profit’s newsletter or Senior Year: By this time most of the up front work should be done, but a enter a poetry contest. • College Awareness/Visiting. Sophomores can begin lot of the details need to be completed: • Finalize Applications. Be aware of deadlines and thinking about colleges on a fairly casual level. At this scholarship application requirements. stage, visit a wide variety of colleges nearby, even if your • Take Final ACT or SAT Exams. child has never had an interest in them. The goal is to test • Request Recommendations. Request recommendations out her likes and dislikes: small/large student body? rural, well in advance and follow up with thank-you notes. suburban or city? engineering or liberal arts? • Send Transcripts and Test Scores. • Practice PSAT. Your child can take a practice PSAT in the • Maintain Academic Focus. Colleges want to ensure that fall. Don’t stress about this. Just note where your student students maintain academic progress in their senior year might need extra help and talk to the school counselor if and will request final transcripts. extra attention is needed. • Standardized Testing Plan. A few students might be able to take AP and/or SAT II (subject tests) at the end of the Liz Stucke, President of Admissions Prep (www. academic year or after a course in the subject. Your child AdmissionsPrep.net) counsels students through should consult his teacher to determine if he is ready to the College Selection and Application process. take one of these exams. Also determine when he will take Email questions or set up a free consultation: Liz@ the ACT and/or SATs most likely starting in the spring of AdmissionsPrep.net or call/text 865-951-0639. junior year.

Knoxville Parent • February 2014

Preventing Teenage Alcohol and Drug Problems by Kathryn Rea Smith, Ph.D.

s a forensic psychologist who evaluates individuals with alcohol and drug-related legal problems, I am interested in parenting practices associated with preventing substance problems. As a mother of two boys, I am invested in trying to implement such practices in our home. What follows are some guidelines for parents based on factors associated with decreased risk of substance use disorders during the teenage years.

Create a strong relationship A close, positive relationship between a teenager and T parent(s) reduces the risk of developing substance problems. There are many things parents can do to improve the quality of the relationship with their teen such as having regular family dinners and attending religious services together, both of which are associated with decreased use of alcohol and drugs. Parents should promote d a positive connection with their children and teens s characterized by warmth, affection, support, monitoring, and use of humor. If your relationship with your teen does d not reflect these qualities, do what you can to turn the relationship around for the better.

d Foster emotional intelligence

Emotional Intelligence, or “EQ,” refers to the ability to ? identify, regulate and control one’s emotions. Children e and teens with problems managing their emotions have g higher rates of drug and alcohol use. Alcohol and drugs are seductive because they promise to deliver instant relief e from emotional pain—sadness becomes euphoria, anger is dampened, anxiety is quelled, and disturbing recollections or images are banished. If your pre-teen or teen shows signs of inability to manage, process, or express emotions, address these deficits in emotional intelligence, seeking assistance from a mental health professional if needed.

Discuss substance use early and often Start talking about alcohol and drug use before children reach middle school where they may be exposed to drugs by peers. Parents can initiate such conversations by asking children what they have heard about substances from teachers or peers and then affirming accurate information and correcting misinformation. As part of the conversation, t parents need to establish rules regarding substance use r and consequences for rule violations. Because parental tolerance of a teen’s alcohol or drug use is associated with increased risk of developing a substance use disorder, make it clear that no drug use or underage alcohol use will be allowed. In evaluating a college student arrested for drug possession, I learned that when his parents caught him using marijuana as a teen, he successfully avoided consequences by convincing them that his high grade point average was proof his drug use was not a problem. His drug

“Through hearing stories about family members or close family friends, teens learn that substance use disorders are real problems with real consequences.” use progressed unimpeded until eventually he faced very serious legal consequences. Bring the skeletons out of the closet Due to genetic inheritability, those with a family history of addiction are vulnerable to developing addiction problems. Teenagers with a positive family history need to know they carry an increased risk of developing a substance abuse problem if they experiment with drugs or alcohol. Tell them about family members who have struggled with addiction, highlighting the real life consequences of the problems. For example, my children know that my grandfather was prosecuted for vehicular homicide after killing a woman while driving drunk. They also know that a beloved uncle’s death was due to alcohol related health problems, and that a cousin struggles with a pain pill addiction and associated legal problems. Be compassionate in telling these stories, emphasizing that these relatives were/are not bad people, just ill with the disease of addiction. Through hearing stories about family members or close family friends, teens learn that substance use disorders are real problems with real consequences. Be non-judgmental While it is important to communicate your expectation of abstinence from alcohol and drug use, make sure also to set the stage such that if your teen develops a problem with substances, he or she knows you are available. The reality is that roughly one in ten teens will develop a substance use disorder, and that teen could be mine or yours. Avoid speaking about addicts or alcoholics in judgmental or derogatory terms, lest your teen conclude you will condemn or reject him or her for drug or alcohol use. Make it clear that help is available for those with addictions and that as a parent you will do what you can to facilitate your teen’s recovery from addiction and return to physical and mental health. Kathryn Rea Smith, Ph.D. is a private practice psychologist specializing in psychological assessment and parenting consultation. Dr. Smith can be reached at kerea@aol.com.

CAK Cafe Mornings (for prospective families)

Middle School (Grades 6-8) February 11 Elementary School (Age 3 - 5th Grade) February 13 High School (Grades 9-12) February 18 * Events start at 9 a.m. in the respective school’s lobby.

Tour the facility, meet with administrators and enjoy a cup of coffee! www.cakwarriors.com

Knoxville Parent • February 2014

Understanding Teens’ “Love Languages”

By Tracey Matthews, Supervisor, Knox County Schools Family and Community Engagement Contributing Writer: Kiera S. Alston, Knox County Schools Family and Community Engagement Department, University of Tennessee Intern

his month we highlight Dr. Gary Chapman’s The 5 Love Languages of Teens. This relationship counselor has written a series of books that help identify five uniquely different actions that express “love” in the ways others most appreciate and receive it. In general, teenagers and parents communicate differently, but beyond lingo and slang, teens also develop a sense of specific acts of love from parents that they most prefer. To enhance parents’ emotional communication and help effectively meet their teenagers’ need for love, let’s look at Chapman’s five love languages of teens. Words of Affirmation In communicating love, words are a strong tool. Words of praise, affection and encouragement help verify parents’ positive feelings toward their teens: • Speak to your teen as a teenager: As your child emerges into adolescence, speak to him/her with consideration of the change you see in them. Avoid commands that were used when your teen was a child. • Offer words of praise: Recognize your teen when he/she does the “right thing,” and use verbal praise that is authentic and a reflection of your true feelings. Explain specifically why you are thankful or proud. • Offer words of affection: Praise focuses on positive behavior, but parental

affection focuses on the teenager as a person. Expand “I love you” to include why you love your teen. Mix it up with statements such as, “I’m proud of you because…” or “I’m glad I can trust you because not all parents can trust their teens these days.” Physical Touch Sometimes words are not enough for parents to communicate love to their teens. It’s important for parents to learn when (place, time and manner) it’s appropriate to communicate love for their teens through physical touch. • Time: Ideal opportunities to for parents to express love through physical touch include when their teenagers experience failures and feel down (not angry) or succeed at major accomplishments. • Place: Being hugged by parents in public or in front of their peers is a “no-no” for some teens. Let your teen initiate a hug. • Manner: Parents can test hugs, kisses, back rubs, pats, high fives, massages or special handshakes or greetings to see if they are well received by their teens. A touch before talking can be soothing. Quality Time To demonstrate parental love, this involves more than physical presence. It includes parents and their teens sharing feelings of togetherness, being “in touch” with each other and parents making sure their teens feel they are the focus of attention. • Conversations: Quality conversations include teens feeling free to share experiences, thoughts, feelings and desires with parents in an accepting atmosphere. Parents should make eye contact; avoid interruptions; and don’t be preoccupied. Ask specific questions that require more than a “yes” or “no” response. • Activities: Parents and their teens being together and feeling important and special are essential. This might mean making special “dates” with your child! Road trips, cooking together, movie nights or even watching your child’s favorite TV show are just a few ideas. Acts of Service Many teens feel the most loved when their parents work hard to help them. • Be sure your teen doesn’t feel like you’re too busy or helping them out of feelings of duty, guilt or responsibility. • Try to do things for your teen that they cannot do for themselves. This might include completing a chore for them and explaining that you knew they would not have time to finish it or helping them practice an extracurricular activity. Gifts For parents, the purpose of giving gifts to your teens is to express emotional love, not to fulfill your teens’ requests, which can lead to a teen’s sense of entitlement. • Simply buying a gift for your teen is nice, but surprising him/her by wrapping it and presenting it to him/her accompanied by affirming words add “ceremony” to this love language. Add giving a gift in front of family and expressing why you wanted to do something special for him/her, and you score extra points! • Offer gifts that communicate your interest in the well being of your child. This might include “matching” their savings for an item related to a hobby. • Instill in your teen a sense of value for money by providing the “gift of opportunity” to earn money! Remember, no gift can take the place of parental love. Tips for Parents • Provide most expressions of love in your teen’s primary language. • Don’t force your love language (the way you prefer to give and receive love) on your teen. • Teach children while they are young how to give and receive (and appreciate) love, so they will learn how to give love in ways important to others. If you don’t have time for you and your loved ones to take the Love Language quiz at 5lovelanguages.com, learn to express love to your teen by asking: What does my teen prefer; how does my teen demonstrate love to others; and what does my teen complain about not getting from others. In this month of love, on behalf of the Knox County Schools Family and Community Engagement Department, Happy Valentine’s Day!

Knoxville Parent • February 2014

Children Need Specialized Eye Care by Audrey Madigan, East Tennessee Children’s Hospital

our child is having difficulty reading or learning. He may have struggled with a vision screening exam or even worse, surgery or medical treatment is needed as a result of an illness affecting your child’s eyes. Who do you turn to for help? Your pediatrician may refer you to a pediatric ophthalmologist. Why a pediatric ophthalmologist and not one who treats adults? Because children are not little adults and should not be treated the same way. Unlike adults, children’s bodies are still growing. Even their eyes. Brain cells that control vision continue to develop throughout the first decade of a child’s life. As a result, disorders that may have little effect on an adult’s vision can have a profound or life-long effect on a child’s ability to see. There are also some illnesses only seen in children. Other problems may not be exclusive to children, but may affect children differently. A pediatric ophthalmologist is trained to recognize and manage eye disorders and diseases in children from birth to adolescence. Not only are children’s bodies different from adults, they also vary in their ability to communicate. Children frequently cannot speak or are so sick or frightened they

choose not to speak. As a result, they are not able to say what is bothering them or answer medical questions to help identify problems. Pediatric ophthalmologists are trained to assess a child’s non-verbal response and expressions to make an accurate diagnosis. Pediatric ophthalmologists can diagnose, treat and manage all children’s eye problems. They are medical doctors who have had special training in the medical and surgical treatment of children’s eyes. Because pediatric ophthalmologists only treat children, they know what children need. Some of the services they provide are: • Eye exams • Prescriptions for glasses or contact lenses • Diagnosis and treatment of eye infections, eye inflammation or problems caused by conditions such as diabetes or juvenile rheumatoid arthritis • Surgery for problems such as weak blocked tear ducts, cataracts, droopy eyelids or eye misalignment If your pediatrician recommends your child see a pediatric ophthalmologist, take comfort in knowing you are going to someone who has the widest range of treatment options, the most comprehensive training and the greatest expertise in treating children’s eyes. East Tennessee Children’s Hospital has two boardcertified, fellowship-trained pediatric ophthalmologists: Gary Gitschlag, M.D., and Allyson D. Schmitt, M.D. Visit www.etch.com for more information.

Knoxville Parent • February 2014 Jessica’s New FutureNot Just For Tennis Players

A few years ago, Jessica byDemby Marcin Gornisiewicz, M.D. was struggling. After graduating from high school Jessica triedvery year millions of teenagers participate in sports college, but soon realized it wasn’tactivities. 40% of all pediatric injuries are sports related. When a sports injury occurs, it is important to for her. Jessica did not know quickly recognize it and seek proper treatment. Injuries what to do and felt she had among run young athletes can be divided into two categories: acute and overuse injuries. Acute injuries are caused by out of options. All she knew was a sudden trauma, for example a collision on the field that living at home and making between players. Overuse injuries occur gradually over minimum wage was not what time she and can affect muscles, ligaments, tendons and wanted. growth plates. They are caused by repetitive trauma

to a certain body area with no adequate time to heal. Training errors combined with rapidly Now, in less than two years she’s changing physical characteristics of a young body contribute to a rising injury rates. doubled her issalary, has simple paid vacations andallows holidays, is truly enjoying The elbow a relatively joint which only flexionand and extension but is veryher important numerous sports activities. The elbow joint is made up of three bones: the upper work everyinday.

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arm bone (humerus), and the twoWhat bones indid the forearm (radius and ulna). There are two bony she do? bumps at the bottom of the humerus called epicondyles, one on the outside (lateral) and one on Jessica enrolled in You the can Dental School, run byflex Janet Waldron her husband, the inside (medial). easilyStaff feel them when you and extend theand elbow. The muscles tendons of thepracticing forearm attach to each of them. Dr.and Jon Waldron, dentist. Today, the Dental Staff School offers students thatopportunity are repeated to over and aover againJessica can put too strainInonjust the ten elbow the Activities same great build career hasmuch enjoyed. weeks, tendons. This may result in a series of tiny tears and inflammation at the site of bony bumps students learn professional dental assisting in a real-ofﬁce setting. outside the elbow and can cause soreness and pain. Each Saturday, schoolcan hosts the current class ofand students and offersoveruse state-of-the Certain sportsthe activities obviously be responsible, the most common injuries the elbow site are tennis elbow and golfer’s elbow. artatdental equipment for students’ lessons. From working on models to practicing elbow, called by your doctor, involves the that learning. attach to withTennis the dentists and lateral fellowepicondylitis students, Jessica really enjoyed thetendons hands-on the outside bony area. Golfer’s elbow (medial epicondylitis) is the same process on inside of the “It wasn’t boring,” she says, “it was a whole lot of fun!” elbow. There is usually tenderness and pain when pressing on the bony bumps. The pain may Dental School (www.DentalStaffSchool.com) is experience a ten-week dentalin assisting spread Staff into the upper arm or down to the forearm. You may weakness your hand and wrist and occasionally numbness tinglingTN in some school in Pelham, AL; Marietta, GA; and Knoxville, and Franklin, TN. Classes are held on fingers (especially golfer’s elbow). affects youris accredited through National Saturdays at localwith working dental ofﬁItces. Theusually program dominant hand and the pain can get worse when swinging Accreditation for Colleges and Schools, Non-public Postsecondary Commission in a golf club or racket, squeezing or pitching a ball, shaking Georgia, and the Alabama and Tennessee Higher Education Commission. hands, turning a doorknob or holding a coffee cup. Tennis elbow affects almost 50% of teens who are involved in racquet sports, golfer’s elbow is less common, but tennis players can get golfer’s elbow vice versa. Contact theand Dental Staff School: However, it can be caused by sports other then golf and tennis, sports that require repetitive elbow,at wrist, and (678) 819-3919 or by arm, email janet@dentalstaffschool. hand movements like baseball, softball, bowling and weight com, training. and start your new future as a dental professional In many sports overuse injuries there istoday! no straightforward treatment. The activity causing the condition should be limited. For example, put your tennis game on hold until the pain is gone, even if total rest is not recommended. Anti-inflammatory medications, like Ibuprofen and Naprosyn, may help alleviate the pain. Apply ice packs to the elbow for 15 minutes three times a day for few days. Stretching and strengthening exercises will help. A strap worn around the top of the forearm or elastic bandage reduces the load on your elbow. You can take steps to prevent overuse injuries. Exercise to strengthen your forearm muscles. Stretch before your sports activity. Choose appropriate equipment. A racket with a small grip or a heavy head may increase the risk. You can lower string tension and use softer strings (natural gut string cured my tennis elbow). Work at your technique. It is so important how you hit a forehand or swing a club. A two-handed backhand can keep you out of trouble. Remember, overuse injuries, if ignored and left untreated, can lead to chronic injury that will keep you out of your favorite sport for long time and could even require surgery. Dr. Marcin Gornisiewicz graduated with an MD degree from the Medical School of Warsaw in Warsaw, Poland. He completed residency training in internal medicine at Saint Barnabas Medical Center in Livingston, New Jersey. He completed fellowship training in rheumatology at the University of Alabama at Birmingham in Birmingham, Alabama. He joined Rheumatology Consultants, PLLC (rheumatologyconsultants.org) in 2002. He is board certified in Rheumatology.

Knoxville Parent • February 2014

Teens And Physical Activity By Barry Van Over, President of Premier Martial Arts International

uring the teen years, kids face many social and academic pressures in addition to dealing with emotional and physical changes. Studies show that teens, on average, spend more than 6 hours a day watching TV, listening to music, searching online and playing video games. It’s not surprising that teens can’t seem to find the time to exercise, and many parents can’t motivate them to be active. Teens like to be in control, so parents might try to give teens choices over how they decide to be physically active. Teens are defining themselves as individuals and want the power to make their own decisions, so they’re reluctant to do yet another thing they’re told to do. Emphasize that it’s not what they do; they just need to be regularly physically active. Once they get started, many teens enjoy the feeling of well-being, reduced stress, and increased strength and energy they get from exercise. They might even gravitate to exercise without nudging from a parent. To keep teens motivated, the activities have to be fun. Support your teen’s choices by providing equipment, transportation and companionship. Peers can play an influential role in teens’ lives, so create opportunities for them to be active with their friends. Barry Van Over is the owner and president of Premier Martial Arts International, of which there are currently over 80 location nationwide. Mr. Van Over has two locations in the West Knoxville area and been empowering families lives through the martial arts in the Knoxville community for over 20 years. Mr. Van Over and his local studios can be reached at www.premiermartialarts.com.

Help your teen stay active by finding an exercise regimen that fits with his or her schedule. Your teen may not have time to play a team sport at school or in a local league, but many gyms offer teen memberships, and kids may be able to squeeze in a visit before or after school. Your teen might also feel more comfortable participating in individual sports like martial arts. To learn more about our teen marital arts classes, give us a call to schedule a tour of a facility and introductory lesson. It could be just the environment for your teen get the right amount of exercise, stress release and sense of self.

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Knoxville Parent • February 2014

Transitioning Through Life With Nature by Caleb Carlton. Photo courtesy of GSMI at Tremont.

like to think of human beings as living murals: each person is the sum of their life experience. As we pass through the various stages of life, we become who we are. We are ever-changing, becoming more complete with each passing moment and the accompanying experiences – the human mural is never finished. An mural often consists of several individual pieces that, when viewed as a whole, express something greater than the parts through their interconnectedness. To move through a mural successfully, one must find the connections that make transitions between the pieces possible. Life plays out just the same. The question is, in each of our own murals, what are those common themes, those connectors that can help to guide us through transitions and onto the next phase of life? Certainly there are family, friends, mentors, faith, and determination. What about nature? Does the natural world connect all of the phases of our lives together? Can time spent in nature ease or even prevent the discomforts and difficulties brought on by transition? The answer to these questions is, unequivocally, yes. The great American author and naturalist, Henry David Thoreau, put it this way, “I believe that there is a subtle magnetism in Nature, which, if we unconsciously yield to it, will direct us aright.” Turns out, he had it right 150 years ago. In the last decade, a body of research has emerged examining the benefits of time spent with nature. The findings show numerous ways in which the natural world can TENNESSEE

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“One of the best gifts that parents can give to a child is a consistent immersion in nature. In doing so, they will be creating a forever-guiding hand for that developing person.” positively affect us, both physically and mentally, at all stages of life. Intuitively, it’s easy for many of us to recognize the soothing contentment of forest shade on a hot summer day, the excitement for life brought on by seeing wild creatures, or the familiarity of the changing seasons. Day by day, we live within the rhythms of nature. But we are raising a generation that, from the beginning of life, has very little exposure to the benefits of experiencing and feeling a part of earth’s rhythms. And it is only now, when the modern lifestyle has made (nearly) inaccessible the consistent time and space to experience the natural world, that we are rediscovering the truth in Thoreau’s words. A recent survey of teenagers, taken by Stage Of Life (www.stageoflife.com), found that 88% of teens believed their generation to be disconnected from nature, while 73% of respondents said they went outside more as an elementary student than when in high school. These statistics are worrisome, considering the frequency and magnitude of transitions that this age group experiences. How can teenagers take advantage of the guiding power of the natural world, if they don’t have a relationship with it to begin with? A personal connection to nature is a gift that can help to guide us through life’s transitions. Nature can soothe and deliver contentment, stir and excite the imagination, teach the mind through the senses or careful observation, draw people together, imbue awe and wonder, support a healthy lifestyle, and foster personal growth. It is an injustice to rob our youth of the positive associations formed through experiencing nature. We are failing to give young people some of the essential experiences necessary for developing into a complete individual. We have some important work to do, and the Knoxville area offers several powerful contexts for that work, such as Ijams Nature Center and the Maryville Alcoa Greenway. Great Smoky Mountains National Park is a quick drive away from a vast and wondrous wilderness. The Great Smoky Mountains Institute at Tremont (www.gsmit.org) offers in-depth experiences in nature for youth of all ages. For teens, we have backpacking and science research camps throughout the summer, designed to foster immense personal growth and a genuine relationship with the natural world. Being in nature or choosing a career pertaining to the environment is not the be-all and end-all of true happiness or success. However, nature can be a lifelong companion, and it will be there, unwaveringly, to help restore the mind, body and spirit during even the most difficult transitions in life. One of the best gifts that parents can give to a child is a consistent immersion in nature. In doing so, they will be creating a forever-guiding hand for that developing person. We cannot see what challenges the future holds, but we can share the gifts that guide us toward the bigger picture along the way. Caleb Carlton is the Media and Outreach Specialist at Great Smoky Mountains Institute at Tremont. A native of Michigan, he grew up immersed in the northern hardwoods and inspired by The Great Lakes. Caleb received his B.S. in Environmental Studies from Michigan State University, and has since worked across the U.S., connecting people and nature. In his spare time, Caleb dabbles in small-scale farming, music and photography.

Knoxville Parent • February 2014

Help! I’m Suffering from...Adolescence!

n 7:30 a.m., and I’m braving the morning traffic and the cold nIt’sweather as I weave my way through West Knoxville. Next to eme, in the passenger seat, is a young lady who seems intently focused on something outside her window. Or so I would like tto think. In reality, it is probably more that she simply doesn’t

By Jeffrey Eberting, D.M.D., M.S.

want to focus on any interaction with me. The music she has selected for our listening pleasure is something which seems to have been created if Nine Inch Nails and Evanescence had a sonic love child and unleashed it upon the unsuspecting public. I can feel the angst and torment radiating off this person in waves. I attempt to engage in light banter, but the monosyllabic responses accentuated with the occasional grunts leaves me frustrated. The silence is almost worse. Is there a demon in my car? A throwback to Cro-Magnon man? Sadly, neither. I am the parent of adolescent children. I always believed that I would be ready for the teenage years. After all, as an orthodontist, adolescents are the bulk of my patient base. As a musician, I try to keep up with the music trends, and believe me, I enjoy Daft Punk, Macklemore, and Arcade Fire as much as I enjoy my Fleetwood Mac, Boston, Van Halen, and Beatles albums. I try to keep up with the cultural trends (but I draw the line at the Kardashians and Honey Boo-Boo). So, you would think that this transition into adolescence would be a cakewalk, right? Well, sort of… Let me make a disclaimer. I am by no means going to tell you how to manage your child. I am not an expert in early childhood development or adolescent behavior. You can read all the books and listen to the experts as you like, but I believe that parenting is a dynamic process – one that undergoes constant reinvention. A parenting style which works for one child may be a complete failure for another. There is no rule of thumb for adolescent management. My dynamic is not uncommon. I am a divorced man who has his children in a lessthan 50/50 situation, so my time with my children has to be about quality. Their mother and I have different parenting styles. I am not saying that one’s style is better than the other – we just have what works for us in each of our households. As I am a parent to 14-year-old and 12-year-old daughters, a 10-year-old son, and my girlfriend’s 9-year-old son, my advice only comes from my experience. During the teenage years, these young people are trying to figure out who they are and what they believe. Some of the shaping of their values will come from us, but much of it will come from their peers. So, for me, good communication with my children has been the biggest asset in helping to navigate these adolescent waters. They know that they can discuss with me just about anything without me judging them or forcing my values down their throats, which has helped them open up to me about a variety of subjects. When I say that we as parents need to keep the lines of communication open for them, I do not mean that we barge into every aspect of their lives. I have always believed that parents who hovered over their children do a disservice to them. They are going to make mistakes. They NEED to make mistakes. With my children, I will let them make mistakes, assuming that no one gets killed or seriously injured, property isn’t destroyed, the fallout doesn’t cost me a lot of money and/or I don’t have to post bail. I also believe that there should be a time and a place for when these discussions take place. Having a conversation about human sexuality while you’re driving your car might not be a good idea, because your adolescent could surprise you with the amount of urban knowledge that he or she knows. And, explaining to a police officer how it Dr. Eberting holds degrees from Duke University and Temple University in General Dentistry and Orthodontics. He is a member of the American Dental Association, the TN Dental Association, the Second District Dental Society, the American Association of Orthodontists, the Southern Association of Orthodontists, and the TN Association of Orthodontists.

was your car ran off the road and hit a telephone pole can be embarrassing… Adolescents have lots of things going on in their heads, and often they just want, nay, they NEED, a little guidance or direction. I would like to share with you a story about a conversation my older daughter and had about a year ago. It was a Saturday morning, and I was at the kitchen drinking my coffee and reconciling some bank accounts. My daughter sat down at the table and began to tell me about a fight she had with her mother. I was half-listening until she said the fight was about her religious beliefs and how they may have jibed with her mother’s. I closed my laptop, set it aside, and gave her my full attention. We talked about Christianity, how I do not necessary believe what her mother believes, but that religion was pretty malleable and that, at the end of the day, He is a forgiving God. She felt much better about things, finishing the conversation by saying, “Good talk, Dad.” Seize that moment and revel in it – your kid just told you that you did something right. I am lucky – my children are a true blessing in my life. At this time, they seem to have good values and try to be good people. I have to credit their mother for that as much as I credit myself. This adolescent time is a roller coaster ride, that, if successfully handled, can be perhaps the most rewarding role you will play in your child’s development. What do I mean by “successfully handled”? I’ll tell you that when I figure it out. If you figure it out before me, please let me know.

Knoxville Parent • February 2014

An Elixir of Fun

Donizetti’s romantic comedy has and will entertain thousands by Michael Torano, Knoxville Opera Marketing Director

ollowing the overwhelming success of its previous Karns, Lenoir City, Powell, and South Doyle middle two seasons’ in-school performances, Knoxville schools; and Dogwood, Fountain City, Green Magnet, Opera again brought a staged opera into schools this Karns, Lenoir City, Northshore, Powell, Hardin Valley, past month. The performances in English of Donizetti’s and Sarah Moore Greene elementary schools. An romantic comedy The Elixir of Love including costumes, additional show was presented at the Vestal Boys & Girls scenery, and props, ran from January 6th – 17th and Club. was a part of Knoxville Opera’s robust annual $150,000 All students from the East Tennessee Region are Education/Outreach Program. invited to attend the Student Dress Rehearsal of the “The tremendous response during the past two seasons’ complete fully-staged production of The Elixir of Love on in-school performances of Romeo & Juliette and Cinderella Wednesday, February 12, at 6:30 at the Tennessee Theatre. from parents, students and educators has inspired us This performance is free to all students of all ages. Doors UT School of Music Alumnus, Kevin to continue this endeavor. We were excited about giving open at 5:30 with open seating. Regular performances of Doherty, entertains the crowd students a taste of the glittering music and comedy of this The Elixir of Love take place at the Tennessee Theatre on during an in-school performance of opera which we are performing this Valentine’s weekend at Friday, February 14 at 8:00 p.m. and Sunday, February 16 Donizetti’s The Elixir of Love. the magnificent Tennessee Theatre,” said Maestro Salesky. at 2:30 p.m. For more information, call Knoxville Opera at UT School of Music alumni Jennifer D’Agostino and Kevin Doherty 865-524-0795 or visit www.KnoxvilleOpera.com. performed the roles of Adina, a young farm girl, and Dr. Dulcamara, the quack Michael Torano lives in Knoxville and has served as the Director of Marketing doctor who sells a love potion to the lovesick Nemorino, portrayed by Texas and Public Relations for Knoxville Opera for three years. He has worked in tenor Sergio Cepeda. The production, free to Knox County public schools, marketing and advertising for over 24 years. He is the incoming President of the was accompanied and narrated by Knoxville Opera Maestro Brian Salesky. Knoxville Chapter of the American Advertising Federation and currently serves as a District coordinator of conferences and conventions for the AAF 7th District The performance schedule included presentations at Austin-East, Powell, covering Tennessee, Alabama, Georgia, Louisiana, and Mississippi. and L&N STEM high schools; Cedar Bluff, Episcopal, Farragut, Holston,

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