Knoxville Parent - January 2014

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KNOXVILLE

Make Good Decisions Deciding To Read More “Reading can open doors...and these open doors can lead to worlds of infinite interest.”

January 2014 Volume III • Issue 1

PAGE 5

Michael Kull and Eva Nations, Publishers Advisory Board

Contributing Writers

Sr. Mary Marta Abbott, RSM The Diocese of Knoxville

Paul Parson East Tennessee Children’s Hospital

Darin Berkley Dawn Dextraze, M.A. Jeffrey Eberting, D.M.D., M.S. Marcin Gornisiewicz, M.D. Bill Jones Tracey Matthews Erin Nguyen Mike O’Hern Sedonna Prater Kathryn Rea Smith, Ph.D. Michael K. Smith, Ph.D Liz Stucke Barry Van Over Angie Wilgus, M.S.

Tracey Matthews Knox County Schools Family and Community Engagement

Contributing Photographers

Marie Alcorn United Way of Greater Knoxville Mike Bailey Small Business Representative

Elizabeth Pooley Marketing Professional Lee Tramel Knox County Sheriff ’s Department

Great Smokey Mountains Institute at Tremont Liz Stucke

Liza Zenni The Arts and Culture Alliance of Greater Knoxville

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Knoxville Parent PO Box 52605 Knoxville, TN 37950, phone 865.622.9680 • fax 888.457.9602 The entire contents of this publication are copyrighted and property of Knoxville Parent. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the express written consent of the publishers. Knoxville Parent utilize freelance writers, and the views expressed within this publication are not necessarily the views of the publishers or editors. Knoxville Parent takes no responsibility for unsolicited manuscripts or other materials. Letters to the editor must include name, address and daytime phone number for verification. Knoxville Parent reserve the right to edit letters for space and clarity. Please keep letters within 500 words in length.

Child-Centered Financial Decision Making “Gently guide your children as they assume responsibility regarding financial decision making this year.” PAGE 11

Does Your Child Make A “Happy Plate?” “If the US wasted just 15% less food, it would be enough to feed 25,000,000 Americans annually.”

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Contents 4

A Letter From The Publishers

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Deciding To Read More

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Teaching Steps To Good Decisions

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Helping Your Student Avoid The 3rd Quarter Slump

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Staying Active After The New Year

19 The Power Of Decisions

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Ten Terrific Books To Help Your Child Choose Books

20 Does Your Child Make A “Happy Plate?”

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Child-Centered Financial Decision Making and Responsibility

22 Music Makes Life Better

12 The Art Of Apology 13 Short-Term Headache. Long-Term Benefit. 15 Jumper’s Knee 16 Teach Creativity

21 The Importance Of One-On-One Time

Advertise with Knoxville Parent Become part of the Knoxville Parent family! Our readers, writers and advertisers all share the same purpose: To help make Knox County the best place to live and raise your family! Call (865) 622-9680 today!

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Knoxville Parent • January 2014


A Message From the Publishers by Eva Nations and Michael Kull

H Dear Readers, As a way of welcoming the new year, the January theme is about learning to make good decisions in life. Making any decision is good, but making the best decision in each situation can sometimes be a challenge. How can we learn to make good decisions? How can we teach our children to make good decisions as well? Our expert writers have been thinking about these questions over the holidays, and in this issue they share their ideas, steps and solutions to guide you and your family towards the best decisions you can make. Enjoy the creativity of our writers, and decide to make 2014 the best year ever for you and your family! Happy New Year! Eva and Michael

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Knoxville Parent • January 2014

by Michael K. Smith, Ph.D.

Deciding To Read More

ow much do adult Americans engage in voluntary reading? A 2012 survey by the National Endowment of the Arts found that 55% of adults had read at least one book of any type in the past year (books not required by work or school). Of this group, 47% had read at least one novel, play, or collection of short stories or poems. These results prompted two questions: Why should we read at all? Should we decide to read more? The power of reading is shown in an amusing short novel, The Uncommon Reader, by the acclaimed British novelist and playwright Alan Bennett. The protagonist of the novel is the Queen. One day, while walking her dogs at Windsor Court, the Queen stumbles upon a traveling library in her courtyard. She enters and the librarian asks her humbly what book she would like to borrow. She hesitates. “She had never taken much interest in reading. She read, of course, as one did, but liking books was something she left to other people. It was a hobby, and it was in the nature of her job that she didn’t have hobbies.” Nonetheless, she takes a novel and returns to the palace to read it. Then, the Queen starts to become transformed. She becomes so engrossed in the novel that she pretends to have the flu the next day and dismisses her daily appointments. “What she was finding also was how one book led to another, doors kept opening wherever she turned and the days weren’t long enough for the reading she wanted to do.” To the chagrin of her ministers, she becomes bored with the mundane tasks of the throne as she continues to read. For instance, she is supposed to engage in small talk at public affairs with long lines of her loyal subjects. “How’s the weather in Surrey? Isn’t the traffic awful?” Instead she asks “What are you reading at the moment?” Flummoxed, few of her subjects had a ready answer to this question. (In fact, what would be your answer if asked this question by the Queen?) Her audiences become less orchestrated as she looks at her subjects in new ways. To her attendant she notes “You see, Gerald, as they kneel one looks down on the tops of people’s heads a good deal and from that perspective even the most unsympathetic personality seems touching: the beginnings of a bald patch, the hair growing over the collar. One’s feelings are almost maternal.” Gerald is embarrassed and thinks the Queen is off her rocker. “And whereas the Queen herself thought that such feelings probably arose out of her reading books, the young man felt it might be that she was beginning to show her age. Thus it was that the dawn of sensibility was mistaken for the onset of senility.” The Queen evidences one final transformation. “As some of you may know, over the last few years I have become an avid reader. Books have enriched my life in a way that one could never have expected. But books can only take one so far and now I think it is time that from being a reader I become, or try to become, a writer.” Her decision leads to a surprising climax to the novel which I won’t reveal. Michael K. Smith, Ph.D., is owner of TESTPREP EXPERTS (www.testprepexperts.com ) which prepares students for standardized tests such as the ACT and SAT. He is also a consultant to Discovery Education Assessment. He can reached at mike@testprepexperts.com.

“Reading can open doors...and these open doors can lead to worlds of infinite interest” Why should we read? Reading can open doors, as Bennett suggests, and these open doors can lead to worlds of infinite interest: from the magical lands of J. K. Rowling’s Harry Potter to the cosmology of the noted science writer Michio Kaku. Why should we read more? As creatures of habit, we find it hard to break our daily routines (as many quickly forgotten New Year’s resolutions will soon attest). Reading transports us outside ourselves and into the perspectives of others. “Books are not about passing the time,” the Queen chides her minister. “They’re about other lives. Other worlds. Far from wanting to time to pass, Sir Kevin, one just wishes one had more of it.” This is one resolution that we all should follow in the coming year.

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Knoxville Parent • January 2014

Teaching Steps To Good Decisions By Barry Van Over, President of Premier Martial Arts International

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elping children learn to think and make good decisions are some of the most critical gifts parents can give to their children. Those teachable moments can also present some of the toughest battles for parents when guiding a child to good decision making. Here are some steps you can incorporate into your approach that can help: Teach by example. Model your own best decision making skills where your children can watch and learn. For example, if you are in the mall and want something but don’t buy it, visit with them about your decision and why you chose not to buy it. “I would love this new television set, but I know we need to purchase new tires for the car. Maybe I can think about getting a T. V. after we get the tires.” Start them off with a few options. When you are giving your children a choice, only give them a couple of options. “For dinner tomorrow night, would you rather have hamburgers or pasta?” Having some successful decisions where the choices are limited will help children develop confidence in their decision making skills. Teach children a decision-making formula. Most successful decisions come after following a basic formula. There are many, but most follow a pattern like this: 1. Define the problem. What is the decision you need to make? What is the problem it solves? 2. Explore the choices. To solve the problem, what options do I have? Are all the choices possible? Are they safe or risky? Ask lots of “what if ” questions like, “What if I fail at this choice?” 3. Understand the consequences. Each choice has pluses and minuses. Some choices cost more than others or take more resources. Some choices have immediate benefits; for others, the benefits are delayed. Some choices made will preclude others. Thinking through the consequences of each choice will help children learn to narrow the range of acceptable choices. 4. Make a decision. When there are different choices, your child must pick one and implement it. Stalling out before a decision without a good reason is just being indecisive. 5. Evaluate and learn from the decision. Once a decision is made, find out what you can learn. If the decision was the best one, look at how the decision was made and help that become a pattern. If it was the wrong decision, look at the process and see what the children missed. Don’t solve their problems. Too often, fathers want to be in the “fix it” mode and try to solve problems for their children. Rather than making a decision for your children, help them make it themselves. And then don’t bail them out when things go wrong if they do. Be there before they decide. When the children are younger, be around them enough that you can help them think things through before they make a decision. Talking your children through the process before is a lot easier than helping them repair a mistake later. Barry Van Over is the owner and president of Premier Martial Arts International, of which there are currently over 80 location nationwide. Mr. Van Over has two locations in the West Knoxville area and been empowering families lives through the martial arts in the Knoxville community for over 20 years. Mr. Van Over and his local studios can be reached at www.premiermartialarts.com.

“Thinking through the consequences of each choice will help children learn to narrow the range of acceptable choices.” Taking the time to walk your children through the process of making a decision will help them learn the best way to decide. Remember, they will learn more from a little trial and error under your guidance than they will if you simply make every decision for them. Learning strong problem solving and decision making skills when your children are young will help them learn the tools to be strong decision makers in their adult life. At Premier Martial Arts our staff is trained to help children make healthy decisions. By backing up the things the parents are teaching at home and the lessons the teachers are teaching in school a martial arts instructor who is well trained in developing character development in children can be a great asset to a parent. For more information on Premier Martial Arts in Knoxville see the back page ad.

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Knoxville Parent • January 2014

Helping Your Student Avoid The 3rd Quarter Slump by Sedonna Prater, photo courtesy of Catholic Diocese of Knoxville

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ypically after the holidays and the frenzied buying of frantic Christmas shoppers, retailers prepare for a decline in sales. The reasons for the commercial “winter slump” are fairly predictable: lack of new merchandise, shopper fatigue, and depletion in shopper discretionary resources (money). Students and educators can also go through a “slump” during the first part of the second semester. While many people approach the new year with bright new resolutions, within a few weeks, these resolutions are often forgotten or abandoned. Failed resolutions can cause a sense of sadness and if coupled with a Sedonna Prater is the touch of seasonal blues, depression. Similar to Director of Curriculum and the pre- holiday euphoria is the post-holiday Instruction for the Diocese of let-down. The stage is set for a slump. Knoxville Catholic Schools In schools, the 3rd quarter slump affects teachers and students in different, but related ways. Following the Christmas holiday, teachers return to school with renewed vigor and determination to impart the necessary skills and knowledge to their students for grade level mastery. Teachers are very aware that standardized assessments are just a few months away and they have to ensure their students are thoroughly prepared. Mid-year is often the time when teachers evaluate their own curriculum pacing guides and make adjustments. These adjustments sometimes result in compacted curriculum or acceleration to ensure prioritized content objectives are addressed. Few adjustments are made, however, in classroom management practices as teachers believe classroom policies and procedures are firmly established and do not want to waste any instructional time on management issues. The student, on the other hand, may respond to these third quarter adjustments in less than positive ways. If a student’s academic grades decline or there is greater incidence of conduct issues, the student may be experiencing the third quarter slump. Any principal can attest a greater number of disciplinary infractions and lower overall academic scores occur during the third quarter as compared to the other three quarters of the academic year. Often during the third quarter, the content within the curriculum has reached a point where most information is new to the student and, therefore, the level of difficulty has

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“Students often just need to know that we, as parents and educators, recognize their effort and achievements.” increased. This may cause student frustration and discouragement that may lead to a number of unsatisfactory student behaviors ranging from apathy to acting out. So, how can a parent help his/her student avoid the 3rd quarter slump? The following proactive measures are good any time of the year and will help you and your student develop effective student habits: • First of all, establish family routines including time for studying, recreation, family meals and sleep. Children in particular thrive on consistency and definitive boundaries. Children find comfort in knowing the expectations and routines of the family. By placing importance on doing certain things at a certain time, parents are teaching time management skills and helping the student to discern the things that are the most important. Make sure your student is getting enough sleep. The winter can cause all of us to want to sleep more, but children really need the additional sleep for healthy growth. • Secondly, the new year is a good time to replenish school supplies and refocus on organizational routines, strategies and practices. Perhaps, you and your student can do a mid-year binder check or notebook clean-up. This helps the student realize accomplishments from the first semester and get re-organized for the next semester. Frequently, organizational strategies are started at the start of a new school year, but like the new year’s resolution are abandoned or forgotten as the year progresses. Revisit those study strategies that have worked for your student before or create some new ones to try this third quarter. New materials, new organizational strategies or a new way of looking at something are always good to spark renewed energy and motivation. • Third, avoid over scheduling your student, but encourage some cocurricular activity. Many students actually perform better when they are involved in an activity of interest apart from their required school course work. By continuing to maintain family routines and by allowing your student to participate in an activity of enjoyment, many students actually improve their time management skills. These activities can be a stress reducer and help to eliminate seasonal blues experienced by some students. • Fourth, keep the lines of communication open between you and your student’s teacher. If you discover your student’s grades are sliding, conferences with the teacher can help you learn what you can do to help the situation. Educators can provide helpful suggestions and incredible insight into the observed behaviors of your student. If a student is struggling with new material, the parent and teacher can work together to develop a supportive intervention plan. Finally, celebrate the learning successes. Students often just need to know that we, as parents and educators, recognize their effort and achievements. Helping your student stay motivated, reinforcing organizational practices, and maintaining open dialogue will help your student avoid a slump during the 3rd quarter or any other time.


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Knoxville Parent • January 2014

Staying Active After The New Year by Angie Wilgus, M.S. in Exercise Physiology

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ith the New Year comes the tradition of making resolutions for various changes that we will make throughout the year. One popular resolution is making changes to our health, whether it be losing weight, getting in better shape or improving certain health conditions. I want to tell you, the readers, CONGRATULATIONS! By taking this first step toward better health, you are proving to yourself that you have the skill and determination to do something very positive for yourself. This is the time of year that health and fitness centers look forward to. People, like you, wanting to get into better shape for one reason or another. From January to March, fitness centers are crowded. By March, the crowds begin to thin and people drop out of their exercise program for one reason or another. We know that exercise is good for us. There are many positive benefits to exercise, such as improving mental health, losing weight, and increasing stamina. How can you sustain this and become a healthier, happier person year round? A good strategy is to set goals and to create a long term plan to continue to be physically active throughout the year. We use short term goals (3 months or less) to reach our long term goals (3 months and longer). By setting short term goals, either daily, weekly or monthly, we will eventually reach our long term goal. Use the acronym S.M.A.R.T to help you set your goals, this represents Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Timed (give yourself a deadline). An example of a S.M.A.R.T goal is “I’m going to walk 1 mile, 2 times this week.” I remember when my daughter was toilet training, I used this same system. My long term goal was to have her toilet trained. So, I used weekly short term goals to get her to use the potty. There will be times that you go off track. It’s OK! Just get back on the wagon and try again. It takes time to make something a habit. Close barriers

“There are many positive benefits to exercise, such as improving mental health, losing weight, and increasing stamina.”

that keep you from exercising (I don’t have the time, I’m tired, etc…) and schedule your exercise around those barriers. Keep that exercise appointment with yourself like you would a doctor’s appointment. Make sure you have a good support system (get an exercise buddy or personal trainer), use visual aids (a graph or a pedometer) and rewards to keep you on track. Going back to my daughter’s toilet training, I one should get activity every day for at least 30 minutes or an created a grid using poster board with the days of the week accumulation of 150 minutes per week. It’s also OK to get 10 on it to give my daughter a visual aid to keep her on track. minutes of activity, 3 times a day to add up to the 30 minutes. When she’d used the toilet like a good girl, she got a sticker Another question you may have is, “How hard do I need to on her board. Once she got so many stickers, she would get exercise?” While you should always work with a professional to rewarded with something small like a coloring book. It took set specific guidelines, one simple way to check yourself is this: about 2 months of these short term goals and she was on her if you are exercising at the right pace, you will be able to carry way to being a big girl. on a conversation. If you can sing you need to work a little Once your reach your goal, you should reward yourself. harder or if you can’t talk at all and are gasping for air you are Now most people automatically think of food as a reward. exercising too hard and need to slow down. Don’t do this, especially if your goal is to lose weight! Give Using these tips will help you stay on your track for a yourself rewards that reinforce what you are trying to healthier lifestyle. If you can’t invest in your own health, what achieve. Your reward could be new clothes, new music to can you invest in? exercise to or something you’ve wanted for a long time. You may be asking yourself what’s the best activity for me? Angie Wilgus is an Exercise Physiologist and Personal Depending on your individual goals and your current physical Trainer for Fort Sanders Health and Fitness Center. She has her Master’s Degree in Exercise Physiology condition, the type and amount of activity will vary, but, and is Certified Personal Trainer through the it always helps to make your activity something you enjoy. National Strength and Conditioning Association. These activities can be a good start: Walk your dog, go for a Angie is also one of the few Certified Cancer Exercise walk with your spouse or friend, ride bikes or play outdoor Specialists through the American College of Sports OCOEE-Big Ad 2014.eps @ 66.7% (CMYK/8) games with your children, window shop or do yardBook work. Medicine in East Tennessee and has been involved in According to the American College of Sports Medicine, the health and fitness field since 1994.


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Knoxville Parent • January 2014

Ten Terrific Books To Help Your Child Choose Books Compiled by Erin Nguyen

How to Get Your Child to Love Reading by Esme Raji Codell Teacher, librarian, and reading expert Codell assists parents of babies through middle schoolers in developing their children into lifelong readers through lists of recommended titles focused on a variety of child-friendly topics as well as ideas and activities to extend the reading experience.

Children’s Department, Knox County Public Library

A Parent’s Guide to the Best Kids’ Comics by Scott Robins & Snow Wildsmith Graphic novels, books that tell stories in comic-strip form, have been growing in popularity over the years, and the authors of this book provide reviews and recommendations to guide parents in the selection of age-appropriate titles for their children, with full-color samples from each of the reviewed titles included.

Help Me Get Ready to Read by Susan Marx & Barbara Kasok In this valuable resource for parents reading aloud to their preschool children in order to prepare them to read on their own, the authors (both educators themselves) provide lists The Barnes & Noble Guide to of recommended titles Children’s Books as well as suggested selected by Kaylee N. Davis activities for some of Children’s book specialist Davis has A Family of Readers the books that further provided over 1000 book reviews by Roger Sutton & Martha V. develop pre-reading skills. designed to help parents find just Parravano the right book for their child at From the editors of The Horn every age, and the book is further Book Magazine, one of the enhanced with essays written by leading review journals of books The Reading Promise notable authors and illustrators in for young readers, comes a book by Alice Ozma the field of children’s literature. designed to help adults who are You’ll be inspired to read passionate about reading share aloud to your child, even 1001 Children’s Books You their love of reading with children after he or she becomes an Must Read Before You Grow through recommended titles for independent reader, by this Up edited both listeners and independent memoir about Alice and by Julia Eccleshare readers. her father, a school librarian, who began You’ll never run out of titles a streak of daily reading sessions that to choose from with this great The Read-Aloud lasted until Alice’s first day of college (a collection of recommended Handbook list of their favorite titles is included). reads, which includes classic by Jim Trelease and contemporary titles, The seventh selected by children’s literature edition of the experts from around the classic bestseller on world. Book Crush reading aloud to children will inspire you to read by Nancy Pearl Raising Bookworms to your children as well Librarian, lecturer, and NPR by Emma Walton Hamilton as suggest hundreds of contributor Pearl brings her Through creative strategies, tried and true titles from insight for connecting readers tips, and activities, the author which to choose. with the right books to provides advice on helping children and their parents with young people discover--or rediscover--the joy of reading. over 100 lists of recommended

titles for children birth to teen which are organized by topics of interest.

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Knoxville Parent • January 2014

Child-Centered Financial Decision Making and Responsibility By Tracey Matthews, Supervisor, Knox County Schools Family and Community Engagement

Contributing Writer: Kiera S. Alston, Knox County Schools Family and Community Engagement, University of Tennessee Student Intern

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electing which ice cream to order from the ice cream truck was one of the hardest decisions during my generation, but the range of decision-making opportunities for today’s youth has greatly expanded. Learning to effectively make decisions teaches young people responsibility, problem solving and independence/ self-sufficiency and increases self-confidence and efficacy. It also helps them move beyond narrow thinking and forces them to consider the consequences or impact of their actions, all traits that they will need in life. Managing money and spending wisely are two important life lessons, and teaching children to make sound financial decisions helps them in adulthood. Here are a few examples of prime opportunities to help your child make decisions about spending in today’s economy: • Uncover the real personal value of the item: The next time your child asks, “Mom, can I have a ________,” ask if he/she wants to spend his/her money on the item. Insisting that children use their own resources to supply some of their many wants (and a few needs) provides countless decisionmaking opportunities and develops their appreciation and understanding of the value of money, particularly if it is their money! • Review your financial responsibilities as a parent/adult: If your child asks you why you can’t buy an item, take this opportunity to discuss the bills you have to pay. This review will provide them a peek at their own future responsibilities and how they, too, will have to make such choices one day. • List their available financial resources: Children often receive an allowance, financial gifts for birthdays and special holidays or income from employment. Whatever the source, it’s usually all disposable income to them. This leads to the next great opportunity for decision-making and responsibility. • Explore opportunities to earn money: If your child does not earn an allowance, ask him/her, “What can you do to earn money?” Then, help him/ her discover available time, talents and skills and how those attributes can collectively help him/her earn desired income. Ideas may be as simple as walking the neighbors’ trash to the end of the driveway each week or taking over a few of the household chores (i.e., making beds, cleaning bathrooms or vacuuming). • Talk about the benefits of opening a savings and/or checking account: Once the income starts flowing, a savings or checking account provides a way for children to keep track of their spending and make better decisions about what’s important. • Identify long- and short-term desires/goals: If your high school child is required to earn and spend his/her own income for friend or family outings (i.e., restaurant meals, movie tickets, football games, etc.), he/she will begin to realize that purchasing other items interferes with his/her long- and short-term desires. When this realization occurs, making smarter decisions regarding purchases will begin to come naturally. • Differentiate between “needs” and “wants”: Help your child understand the difference between “needs” (i.e., senior fees, band uniforms, college extras, etc.) versus “wants” (i.e., concert tickets, the hottest sneakers, the latest cell phone, etc.). Take into account the age of your child, for younger ones define and will understand the concept of needs and wants differently than will older children. • Share your budget with your children, then help them as they create their own.

Think out loud when you make decisions about spending: Let your children hear the process, so they can understand both the benefits of maintaining a budget and the consequences of deviating from one. The New Year is here, and what a perfect time to start new behaviors and form a few financial resolutions! Gently guide your children as they assume responsibility regarding financial decision making this year. One of the greatest gifts we can leave our children is a legacy of good decision making. On behalf of the Knox County Schools Family and Community Engagement Department, Happy New Year to you and your loved ones!

Join The Healthy Living Expo! January 31 & February 1 at the Knoxville Convention Center The area’s largest event focused on health, fitness, nutrition and living green returns for the tenth year to the Knoxville Convention Center on Friday, January 31 from 9-5 and Saturday, February 1 from 9-4 and offers interactive, educational exhibits, demonstrations and presentations. Over 130 individual companies fill more than 250 exhibits. The Expo continues to grow each year from its launch in 2005 as we expect over 8,000 visitors! Prizes, Prizes, Prizes and Fun Activities! Returning Expo favorites include the Eat Right Stage and the Get Active Stage. The areas feature activities and speakers offering healthy living tools, tips and techniques with prize drawings after every activity. Expo visitors have access to free health checks and can participate in fitness activities at the Fort Sanders Health & Fitness Center pavilion. Healthy Living! With exhibitors representing products and services relating to healthcare, nutrition, fitness, natural health, family fitness and “green” living, visitors to the Healthy Living Expo are sure to find something to enhance their lifestyles. By participating in Expo activities, watching demonstrations, sampling nutritious foods, gathering information and accessing dozens of FREE health checks, visitors leave better prepared to meet the challenge of Healthy Living. Free Tickets! Below is a free ticket to the event. Plus, you can visit KnoxvilleParent. com to get additional tickets, door prize registration forms and to find out more information about this year’s Healthy Living Expo.

FREE ADMISSION WITH THIS TICKET! 9:00 am – 3:00 pm FRI Jan 31 9:00 am – 4:00 pm SAT Feb 1


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Knoxville Parent • January 2014

The Art Of Apology

Decide to incorporate empathy and insight by Kathryn Rea Smith, Ph.D.

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y the time we were in preschool, most of us had learned the importance of apologizing after hurting someone. By kindergarten, we had likely given (at the behest of our parents and teachers) and received countless apologies for a variety of offenses. We were taught a simple formula: “Mary, I’m sorry I said your dress was ugly” or “Timmy, I’m sorry I tripped you on the playground.” If we were truthful, these formulaic and often perfunctory apologies were not very satisfying, especially on the receiving end. A well-crafted apology that combines empathy and insight, however, can be gratifying to give and to receive. The meaning of the word “apology” has evolved a great deal since its first appearance in the English language in the sixteenth century. Originally, an apology was a defense of one’s own conduct or opinions. This meaning comes directly from the Greek apologia, “to speak in one’s defense.” Eventually, “apology” evolved to its present use--a statement to acknowledge an offense and to express regret. The original meaning emphasized insight into one’s motives and the present day meaning emphasizes empathy for the feelings of others. By combining the two meanings, it is possible to craft an apology that both empathically acknowledges an offense but also provides a helpful explanation of why the offense occurred. What follows is an illustration of this kind of apology. After I got married, I showed my wedding pictures to a friend who had attended the wedding. With a skeptical expression, she asked “Are you happy with the way these turned out?” It was pretty clear she thought the pictures were terrible, and I felt hurt and embarrassed. Sometime later, I received a phone call from her. She said “I want to apologize for what I said to you when I was looking at your wedding pictures. I know that I hurt you, and I’m sorry. The pictures were great. I just wasn’t in a very good place myself because of my divorce, and it was hard to see you so happy; unfortunately,

“When such apologies that combine empathy and insight are offered by parents to children, the parent-child relationship becomes more positive and resilient.” I took my unhappiness out on you.” My friend’s expression of regret was followed by an explanation of the basis for her offending behavior. In her apology, my friend offered a combination of empathy for my hurt feelings and insight into her motives that helped me understand why she been uncharacteristically hurtful. When such apologies that combine empathy and insight are offered by parents to children, the parent-child relationship becomes more positive and resilient. As an example of a situation that would warrant an apology, suppose a mother and son have agreed that the son will assume responsibility for meeting his school project deadlines. This agreement seems logical for several reasons. The mother is weary of keeping track of the boy’s deadlines and the son is tired of being nagged about his work. Both agree that he is old enough and likely mature enough to adopt this responsibility. Suppose further that the arrangement starts out well, but soon the mother begins to “check in” regarding her son’s projects to see how much work he has done and how he plans to complete the work, asking questions and probing for details. At this point, the son would probably show feelings of hurt or even anger at the violation of their agreement. Hopefully, the mother in this case will recognize her son’s feelings and be able to identify the basis in her behavior for his feelings. At this point, she could say “I’m sorry for bugging you about your work after I promised to leave it all to you.” For a truly effective apology, though, she will engage in self-examination to determine why she behaved as she did. Once armed with self-awareness, the mother will be ready to apologize with both empathy and insight: “Son, I’m so sorry I breached our contract. It has been harder than I realized to let go of control and allow you to be in charge of yourself. My anxiety got the best of me. I promise to try to manage my anxiety more effectively in the future.” A well-crafted apology reveals true psychological growth: expanded empathy for the feelings of others combined with increased insight into the actions of the self. Kathryn Rea Smith, Ph.D. is a private practice psychologist specializing in psychological assessment and parenting consultation. Dr. Smith can be reached at kerea@aol.com.


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Knoxville Parent • January 2014

Short-Term Headache. Long-Term Benefit. By Jeffrey Eberting, D.M.D., M.S.

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ife-altering decisions can occur at any point in one’s life – during childhood, during adolescence, or during adulthood. We have to make decisions about what is right and what is wrong. We decide about whom we choose to associate or befriend. We choose what career we might wish to pursue or what college we might wish to attend. As we get older, we decide who might wish to choose for a spouse and whether or not to have children. Sometimes, these decisions are with the idea that a positive outcome will result. Many times, the positive outcome might not seem evident. When a decision is being made which has a profound effect on one’s life (or many lives), the road to achieving that ultimate positive outcome may be fraught with speed bumps or potholes. These challenges serve to strengthen us, and most of the time, we learn that they justify the decision we made. My decision to be an orthodontist came during my late adolescence. I knew that it involved years of schooling, and that, even then, there was no guarantee that I would be accepted to dental school or an orthodontic residency. I worked very hard to be an excellent candidate for admission to dental school and was granted my wish. Given that an orthodontic residency was not a sure thing, I needed to bolster my profile. I decided to enter the U.S. Navy as a dental officer – a decision that was not only to affect me, but my then-wife. I had an idea that time spent in the Navy would be a time of uncertainty. Where would I be stationed? Would it a on a ship? Would it be overseas? What would my wife – who was then mid-way through law school – do when she graduated? Clearly, this was a decision that was about to have a profound effect on both our families and us. I entered the Navy and was stationed in San Diego for my first year (my then-wife was in law school in Philadelphia). It was a difficult time for us having a transcontinental marriage, but we toughed it out and were ultimately reunited in Norfolk, Virginia, as she had decided to enter the Navy JAG Corps. I was stationed onboard the USS TRENTON for the next two years which required the crew to be underway at sea for weeks at a time for training operations. Let me be honest, living on a ship is no Ritz Carlton. The air conditioning may or may not be working. Water may have to be rationed for showering. The food…well… And there are times when you have no idea where you are going or how long you will be out to sea. All of these training exercises were in preparation for the ship’s six-month deployment to the Mediterranean Sea. More time at sea. More time in less-than-great conditions. When I returned home from the deployment, my time in the Navy was over. I applied to orthodontic residencies, and I admitted to a program. The Dr. Eberting holds degrees from Duke University and Temple University in General Dentistry and Orthodontics. He is a member of the American Dental Association, the TN Dental Association, the Second District Dental Society, the American Association of Orthodontists, the Southern Association of Orthodontists, and the TN Association of Orthodontists.

“It took some time for me to fully appreciate my time in the Navy... I took a detour which brought challenges into my life, but I survived them and I am stronger and richer for the experiences.” rest, as they say, is history. It took some time for me to fully appreciate my time in the Navy. I made some life-long friends. I had some great experiences. I visited countries which I might not have ever visited. In pursuing my goal of being an orthodontist, I took a detour which brought challenges into my life, but I survived them and I am stronger and richer for the experiences. How does this translate to how I practice orthodontics? The challenges I experienced along my path to becoming an orthodontist allow me to have a great deal of empathy for challenges my patients are about to face as they begin their journey into braces. I make every effort to impress upon my patients that orthodontics is truly a “no pain, no gain” endeavor – that the discomfort that a patient feels is merely a road bump down the road to our ultimate goal…that being a beautiful smile.


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Knoxville Parent • January 2014

Jumper’s Knee

Learn to recognize this condition by Marcin Gornisiewicz, M.D.

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he knee is the largest joint in the body. It is essential for sitting, walking and running. The bones that make up the knee are the femur (thighbone), the tibia (shinbone) and the patella (knee cap). They give the knee strength needed to support the body’s weight. Ligaments are bands of tough fibers that hold these bones together. There are two main groups of muscles, the quadriceps and the hamstrings. The quads are a group of four muscles and their primary role is to straighten the knee. The hamstrings are made up of three muscles in the back of Figure 1: The patella tendon the thigh. They are needed to bend the knee. Tendons are tough bands of fibrous connective tissue that connect muscles to bones. They are extremely strong but can be damaged if overstrained or improperly cared for. The patella tendon (also known as patella ligament) is a continuation of the large quadricep muscle group. It covers the patella and attaches to the shin bone, it allows to straighten out the knee and provides strength for a kicking motion (figure 1). Huge forces are transferred through the tendon. The load placed on the knees could be up to 7 times the body weight of a soccer player during kicking, and up to 11 times body weight when volleyball player lands after a jump. Therefore constant jumping, landing, kicking can lead to inflammation and irritation of patellar tendon, a condition called patellar tendonitis or “jumper’s knee.” It is believed to be caused by repetitive stress placed on the tendon, and is most common in sports such as basketball, soccer, volleyball, tennis, sports that require direction changing and jumping movement. Symptoms include pain directly over the patellar tendon just below the knee cap. The bottom of the patella will be very tender when pressing. Movement of the knee may cause crunching sensation. Pain can be present when bending the knee, jumping, kneeling or climbing stairs. Jumper’s knee can be categorized into stages. In stage one, the pain occurs only after activity. Kids have no symptoms before or during the activity. In stage two, pain is present at the beginning of the activity, goes away after warming up and then reappears after the activity. Play is usually not affected and kids often ignore these stage two symptoms. In stage three the pain is Dr. Marcin Gornisiewicz graduated with an MD degree from the Medical School of Warsaw in Warsaw, Poland. He completed residency training in internal medicine at Saint Barnabas Medical Center in Livingston, New Jersey. He completed fellowship training in rheumatology at the University of Alabama at Birmingham in Birmingham, Alabama. He joined Rheumatology Consultants, PLLC (rheumatologyconsultants.org) in 2002. He is board certified in Rheumatology.

“The load placed on the knees could be up to 7 times the body weight of a soccer player during kicking, and up to 11 times body weight when volleyball player lands after a jump.” present during and after activity, and with stage four pain is constant with every day activities, and kids are unable to do any sports. Treatment will depend on the grade of Figure 2: The intra-patellar strap the injury, but the most important first step is to avoid activities that aggravate the problem. Resting for 2-4 weeks usually helps tremendously. Icing the knee and elevating when it hurts by placing a pillow under the leg reduces the pain and inflammation. Anti-inflammatory meds such as Ibuprofen or Naproxen and analgesics like Tylenol can be used. Exercises designed to strengthen the muscles are very important for treatment. Depending on the severity of the condition, recovery could last from 2 weeks to several months. Children should stay away from sports that aggravate the knee pain and make condition worse, however that doesn’t mean they can’t participate in any sport. Low impact activities like swimming instead of running can be advised. It is important to go back to previous sport activities slowly, gently stretch before (warming up), and after exercise. Wearing a knee support or strap (intra-patellar strap or a Cho-Pat strap) may reduce strain on the patellar tendon by changing the angle that the tendon inserts into the patella, and the length of the tendon (figure 2). Jumper’s knee may seem like a minor injury that is not that serious. Many athletes continue to train and compete. However, if left ignored and untreated, the injury can lead to chronic condition that may ultimately require surgery.

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16

Knoxville Parent • January 2014

Teach Creativity

By Mike O’Hern, Center Director of Mathnasium of West Knoxville

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Classes NOW ENROLLING for 2014! Call (865) 690-6465 for Dates and Times or to Sign Up For a Free Trial Lesson. At Bill Jones Music, children love to make music! That’s because we’re an authorized Yamaha Music School, featuring the respected, well-rounded Yamaha curriculum that builds musical ability in a nurturing, supportive group environment. At appropriate developmental stages, children learn to read, listen to and appreciate music; play the piano; even improvise and compose. Over 50+ years, more than 6 million students have learned from Yamaha. Now, for a limited time, we’re offering a FREE trial lesson so you and your child can try this fun, fulfilling experience before deciding to enroll. There’s nothing to lose and so much to gain! To register for the free trial lesson, call (865) 690-6465 today or email marjorie@billjonesmusic.com

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can’t remember what year it was, but Adam was in high school and Ali was in middle school. One Saturday morning they had decided to set up a zip line in the woods behind the house, so they went to Home Depot, bought some cable and hardware and proceeded to set up the zip line. They then (wisely, I thought) waited for me to get up to inspect it before actually trusting it with their lives. (I’m proud to say that I was able to okay it with no modifications.) This is creativity at work. No, they didn’t invent the zip line, but they had a problem (what could they do that day that would be fun) and solved it creatively. Further, they also had to find a fun and safe route for the line, figure out a way to hook themselves to it and (perhaps most importantly) how to stop at the end short of smashing into the tree. Flash forward fifteen years or so, and Adam sends me a link to “The Creativity Crisis” by Po Bronson, something of a book report on a book titled, Nurtureshock. It’s a great read, and you might want to take a look: www.newsweek.com/creativity-crisis-74665. It turns out that a professor (E. Paul Torrance) came up with a way to measure creativity in children back in the fifties that has proved to be quite predictive of these kids’ creative accomplishments as adults. We’re talking about patents registered, businesses founded, books written, radio shows, art exhibits, hardware innovations, music compositions, buildings designed and more. In short, creativity is not only seen and practiced in the arts. It is disturbing that in doing this testing in the United States, they found steadily rising creativity scores until 1990, but thereafter they have been consistently decreasing. This is a problem, as progress and improvement require creativity. The question is, can creativity be learned? I think it should be clear that it can. Sure, some folks will have more innate creativity. Just because Freddie Hubbard had a crazy level of innate ability to play doesn’t mean I can’t learn to play the trumpet. He could please a crowd at the Newport Jazz Festival, but I can still please a crowd in Knoxville, Tennessee. (Okay,

“Next time you have a problem to solve, have your child help you figure it out... Creativity is more than just coming up with far-reaching ideas. It includes comparing, combining, reasoning, factchecking, and ultimately coming up with a solution.”


for me maybe just my living room, but you get the point.) The challenge in developing creativity in your child is that it will fall to you. One thing you can do to start is to listen to Dale Dougherty talk about it. Go to engineervsdesigner.com and scroll down to podcast episode 26. It’s all about the Maker Movement and his view of education. It rang a bell with me, for sure. Then go solve some problems with your kids! Gather a bunch of disparate items and pile them up in the garage. A cardboard box, sidewalk chalk, some rope or string, a ball or two, some of their toys, like dinosaurs or G.I. Joes or a Tonka truck. Here’s the challenge: come up with a new toy or game to play every Saturday. And always keep your eye open for fun new things to add to your inventory: the wheel of an old bike, an inner tube, a spatula, that old iron that doesn’t work any more. Explore! If we make a tin-can telephone, how long can the string be and it still work? Can we pull the string around a corner of the house and still hear each other? Will it work if the string is not taut? Can we make up a melody by banging, rubbing together, spinning or sliding these objects?

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Knoxville Parent • January 2014

“Explore! If we make a tin-can telephone, how long can the string be and it still work?” Finally, next time you have a problem to solve, have your child help you figure it out. Where to keep the bicycles to be out of the way, how to get the cold air to stop coming in off the windows, or what to do to keep a hot dish from damaging a tabletop. Creativity is more than just coming up with far-reaching ideas. It includes comparing, combining, reasoning, fact-checking, and ultimately coming up with a solution. Even if it’s nothing more than a solution to the problem of what to do on a Saturday morning. As owner and director at Mathnasium (a math learning center with locations in West Knoxville and Chattanooga (www.mathnasium.com/westknoxville) for the past five years, Mike has extensive experience teaching children and young adults the foundations of math concepts that are crucial to building their confidence and engagement with math throughout life.


Jessica’s New Future A few years ago, Jessica Demby was struggling. After graduating from high school Jessica tried college, but soon realized it wasn’t for her. Jessica did not know what to do and felt she had run out of options. All she knew was that living at home and making minimum wage was not what she wanted.

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Knoxville Parent • January 2014

The Power of Decisions

Article and photos by Liz Stucke, President of Admissions Prep

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“A student and his family must be confident in both his college choice and in the family’s ability to pay the net tuition after financial aid.”

anuary begins decision month at Admissions Prep. Many seniors have received outstanding offers from colleges across the nation. Some have received offers from several colleges, while others have received a single offer to top ranked schools under Early Decision. Which of these students are happier, those with a Implications for College Search and Decisions multitude of choices or those with a single So, which students are happier: students with choice? multiple college offers or those with a single Early Much of behavioral economics research Decision offer? has addressed decision-making and Early Decision is different from Early Action in Washington well-being. It is widely accepted that an that, while both applications need to be submitted University in opportunity to choose among various options by early November, Early Decision Applicants St. Louis, MO enhances a sense of autonomy and control, commit to enroll at that university, if they are which in turn are key attributes of well-being. admitted. Recent research, however, has examined choice and decisions Some parents and students are uncomfortable – namely choice overload and single option aversion. with Early Decision, since one seemingly foregoes Too Much Choice or ‘Choice Overload’ choice. And people, as the behavioral experiments One would think having many options would increase wellshow, like having some choice. So, what are the being. Accordingly, the student accepted to 10 selective good and bad reasons for foregoing Early Decision? universities has greater opportunity to find the right match The bad reason for avoiding Early Decision is simply Amherst College in Amherst, MA than if accepted to only one or two of the universities. Recent to preserve choice. The incentive for the school studies (Sheena Iyengar’s, “The Art of Choosing”) show that too to offer Early Decision is that they can be assured a higher yield, which is many options, at times, can hinder or even cause people to delay any choice critical to US News rankings. The incentive for a student to apply Early at all and lead to greater regret over the universities not chosen. The famous Decision is that the acceptance rate is typically much higher than regular jam studies showed how customers were more likely to delay choosing a decision. For example, for the Class of 2017, Duke accepted 29.65% of jam when presented with 22 options versus only 6 options. The findings early decision applicants and only 10% regular decision. So, if the student were surprising, since the stakes of a poor choice are rather low (several has a good chance of being admitted by Duke, financial aid considerations dollars for a jar of jam), and consumers can learn through trial and error. In are not a significant factor, and if Duke is clearly her leading choice, then contrast, choosing the right college can be more daunting. The universities Early Decision is a good route. But what about single option aversion? My vary along many more attributes (majors, learning styles, sports, financial students go through a full assessment to review and visit various colleges, aid, reputation, etc. ) than jam, and thus making a choice invariably involves often meeting with admissions staff and professors before choosing to apply many difficult trade-offs. Unlike jam, there is no trial and error feedback. to one school. Therefore, my students with seemingly one option, instead The costs of the wrong choice are perceived as steep, and one can easily made a well-considered choice earlier in the process. imagine counter factual scenarios (what if I had selected the other university The Early Decision choice, however, is not for everyone. A student and instead). Consequently, rather than a blessing, too many acceptance letters his family must be confident in both his college choice and in the family’s can be a curse. Having many choices of great universities can increase the ability to pay the net tuition after financial aid. Students who choose to parents’ and student’s anxiety and regret. apply Early Action (non-binding) or Regular Decision keep open the option to compare financial aid and merit aid packages. The choice overload risk Too Little Choice or Single Option Aversion to this strategy is if a student applies to too many schools without some So, are people happier when presented with the one option they actually predetermined features by which a student can compare the options. Then, like? Suppose a student wanted to go to one university and has a very good a decision can be overwhelming to the student and parents. However, if a chance of being admitted. Would he derive greater satisfaction if he applied student predetermines desired features, then the decision is powerful for a to another school, so that he has a choice? Yes, according to one study student, and choice overload is less likely to arise. published in the University of Chicago’s Journal of Consumer Research. Daniel So, in helping my students during this important period, I remind them Mochon, in his article, “Single Option Aversion,” found that “consumers are that more is not necessarily better, less can be more, and the way we reluctant to pick an option-even one they like-when no other options are frame and select the options can yield greater satisfaction over the college being considered.” And, in fact, similar to Choice Overload, consumers are admissions process. more likely to delay a decision. In one experiment, participants were asked to determine which of two similar DVD players they were more likely to Liz Stucke, President of Admissions Prep (www.AdmissionsPrep. purchase, a Sony or Philips DVD player. When presented with only one net) counsels students through the College Selection and option, 90 and 91% of the participants chose to defer the decision. When Application process. Email questions or set up a free consultation: presented together, significantly more participants made a choice between Liz@AdmissionsPrep.net or call/text 865-951-0639. the two DVD players and only 34% wanted to continue to search.


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Knoxville Parent • January 2014

Does Your Child Make A “Happy Plate?” Decide to eat responsibly

by Dawn Dextraze, M.A.. Photo courtesy of GSMI at Tremont.

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very choice we make creates a difference to someone somewhere. Even the small things add up over the course of a lifetime. Let’s consider one of these small things: food waste. Individual choices about food can have a big impact on energy conservation. Students don’t always have a choice about Food does not stand alone on our plates. It where their food comes from or what food has a history behind it. It links us to other they are eating, so we allow students the people, other places, and to the energy cycle opportunity to become part of the story itself. Everything we put on our plate has a by deciding how much food they will put story. on their plate. We are mindful about how At Great Smoky Mountains Institute at much food is wasted. Food waste is wasted Tremont, we share a little bit of that story with we allow students the opportunity to become part energy after all, and it has to go somewhere. our participants at every meal. Our goal is to of the story by deciding how much food they will put We collect and weigh food waste at the end promote mindfulness and energy conservation. on their plate. of each meal to raise awareness of just how We encourage students to make conscious much food is wasted in our society. The choices about how much food they put on their total food waste in pounds is marked on a graph for all to see. We usually plates. For that reason, we serve food family style in our dining hall. When see a reduction of food waste by the time the students leave us, and we the food gets to the table, the students have a decision to make – How encourage them to continue their mindfulness and awareness of food as much food will I put on my plate? They are initially informed by their energy when they go home. hunger, senses, and habits, but as they learn about the story of food, they Here are some ways you can educate your family about food as a resource start to take the energy cycle into account too. and begin to conserve energy at home. Food is energy; fuel for our bodies which allows us to do work. Initially, 1. Use a map and find out where food comes from on the map. this energy comes from the sun and is transformed into sugars in plants. The plants may be fed to livestock where the energy is stored as protein 2. Follow the food chain backwards from the food on your plate to the in meat or the plants may be harvested by farmers to be transported, sun. processed and packaged. Consumers buy these products from farmer’s 3. Research what happens to food when it is put in your trash can. markets, grocery stores, and corporations. These products are then 4. Observe something like your old Halloween pumpkin decompose. prepared or cooked into a meal. Energy in the form of fossil fuels is used 5. Weigh your food waste at home for a week or month and graph it throughout the process in the form of fertilizers, fuel, and electricity. It can take months or years for the energy of the sun to reach our plates in a 6. Grow and harvest your own food in your home or backyard. form ready for us to use. 7. Compost food scraps. 8. Get creative with leftovers – reinvent your meal. Get higher scores on the How much food is wasted each year? According to Mother Nature Network (www.mnn.com), 4 billion tons is wasted each year globally! An average of 209 - 254 lbs of food is wasted annually by Americans. If the US wasted just 15% less food, it would be enough to feed 25,000,000 Americans annually. Wasting food costs Americans 300 million barrels of oil a year, 25% of our water resources, 750 million dollars to dispose of the waste, and 33 tons of landfill space.

“If the US wasted just 15% less food, it would be enough to feed 25,000,000 Americans annually.”

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Dawn Dextraze earned her BS in Biology from Mars Hill College in 2002 and her MA in Environmental Education from University of New Hampshire, Durham in 2009. She has taught at residential education centers in Washington, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, North Carolina, and Tennessee.


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Knoxville Parent • January 2014

The Importance Of One-On-One Time by Darin Berkley

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t’s not even the first of the year, and I’m already looking forward to February. It has nothing to do with the Super Bowl, Valentine’s Day or even the end of winter, but the celebration of my 50th “date” with my oldest son, Eli. We began having our monthly dates in January 2010, when he had just turned four, and we have had one each month since. We’ve been talking about our 50th date and looking forward to it since we celebrated our 40th in April of last year. Sometimes you listen to that still small voice, and it changes your life forever. That happened to me a little over four years ago, and the relationship I have with my children has been different ever since. In December of 2009, we found out we were going to have our second child. This brought out a lot of varied emotions and excitement. One of the things that ran through my mind during that period was the realization that my one-on-one time with Eli would soon be greatly impacted. I don’t know why God granted me the wisdom that cold December morning to understand the importance of alone time with my children, but He did, and that gave birth to the idea of having a monthly date with Eli. I knew we needed a concrete calendar date in place going into it, or the busyness of our lives would suffocate the idea in a matter of months. I felt like the most logical time to do it would be on Eli’s birth date, the 13th. We started out very simply, in that once a month we had an evening or an afternoon where we spent some time; just the two of us. After a couple of months our excitement and anticipation grew, and by the third month we started taking pictures before and during our dates. I began to plan ahead and try to come up with the most creative activities I could imagine. Some months I would surprise him and not tell him where we were going. Some months it would simply be a rainy weeknight where we would go get something to eat and see a movie. After a while, traditions began to develop. Well into the second year, we would always recap every one of our dates in order from the first one and leading to what we did that month. It became a fun memory game that we enjoyed playing. Earlier this year we added a chalkboard that we hold for our predate picture that records the date number and where we are going. Helping others has also become a part of our time together. We love to think of different ways we can serve together, an area that I hope will grow. We both love music,

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Darin Berkley is the creator of dateswithdad.com and is passionate about students, orphans, missions and traveling. He and his wife Betsy have been married for 13 years. They have two sons, Eli and Truett and are also in the process of adopting a daughter from China.

so that’s always a part of our car ride, and I’ve even begun to take screen prints with my phone of the songs we listen to as a keepsake. When our youngest son, Truett, turned two in August 2012, I began the same tradition on the 9th of each month with him (his birth date). Some months it is difficult to plan two different excursions with them, but it is a priority in my schedule and I always find a way to work them in. A lot has changed in our lives since Eli and I had our first date four years ago, but I think in retrospect the point was to spend time together no matter what was going on in our lives. When we first started out, I never thought about these times continuing throughout his childhood or hitting important landmarks. I just knew that God was asking me to make it a family priority to date my child, and I am so blessed to have listened. He will, in all likelihood, not remember each and every one of these special times, but he will always expect them on the 13th of each month, so a wonderful foundation is being laid. If I expect him to want to spend time with me later and to confide in me when he has real problems, that bond and relationship needs to be established now. The dates I’ll have with him when he’s an awkward teenager, the hug I will hopefully be there to receive when he has his first child and all the dates and life in between will be built on the things that happen on (and, of course) between the 13th of each and every month.


22

Knoxville Parent • January 2014

Music Makes Life Better ...and starting early helps by Bill Jones, Owner of Bill Jones Music

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Then, at Age 3, children begin Yamaha Music School, rom the comfort of your favorite hymn to the top tapping which is a worldwide program developed by the Yamaha patriotism of a Marching Band, Music makes life better. Music Foundation and is acclaimed for teaching not Even more, making your own music can be a life changing just piano and keyboard skills but also sight singing, experience. While you are never too old to learn, there are improvisation, composition, ensemble playing and music significant advantages of starting a child in music at a very theory. YMS has one of the best retention rates in our early age. industry. Dr. Edwin Gordon, Distinguished Music Professor in In our experience, these programs are extremely successful, Residence at the University of S. Carolina explains why and, because practice instruments are not needed until age the early study of Music is so important: “...Numerous 4, parents can start their children in a Yamaha Music School neurologists, pediatricians, and psychologists associated with The stages of music-related program for very little cost. When instruments are needed, universities and research institutes have learned that there development based on a child’s age rental costs are low (as little as $10 per month for a keyboard). are critical periods associated with surges of neurological You can see just how creative the YMS program is by going connections and synapses that take place during early to BillJonesMusic.com and clicking on the JOC box (Junior Original Composition). childhood. You will be amazed by the young people performing their own compositions. You “Research indicates that if a very young child has no opportunity to develop can also see a sample YMS Class. a music vocabulary, the brain cells that would have been used to establish that sense will be directed elsewhere at the expense of this aural sense. No amount of Bill Jones is owner of Bill Jones Music. Started in 1973, the company compensatory education at a later time will be able to completely offset this handicap.” has grown into the largest piano dealership in East Tennessee with stores in That’s why we decided to offer two different programs to start children early Knoxville , Nashville and Chattanooga. For more information about the in their musical development. Our Music Together program for ages one and two Yamaha Music School curriculum, contact Marjorie Jones: (865) 690-6465 is scientifically designed to help babies experience rhythms and sounds through or stop by our store for a tour. simple singing and rhythm making.

Marek M. Pienkowski M.D., Ph.D.

Graduate of the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine in Allergy & Immunology

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