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How to Fill a Room When No One Knows Your Name
Decide and Deliver Who do you think you are? What do you have to offer? How you answer these questions tells a lot about your confidence and influence to fill a room‌ when no one knows your name. Believing that your existence is on purpose and that the purpose is bigger than you means there is an audience somewhere that needs to hear your mission, see your vision and help you deliver it to the masses. Aside from how seemingly obscure or reputable, from your perspective, the people around you are, the greater evaluation is how you perceive yourself. What you believe others think of you may weigh heavily on how you interact with people around you. Yet, what you know and are willing to acknowledge about yourself in humble honesty helps you to understand where your influence is. The world is in need of an answer, a solution to a problem, a fixer! While you are not THE savior of the world, if you are breathing, you hold a piece to this huge puzzle called life.
As agents of free-will, we get to decide how we will
each function. Maybe you desire to operate in love, creating opportunities that foster positive, trusting relationships and cast a favorable outlook; perhaps your choice has been indifference 4
or ambivalence, missing opportunities because of fear or double minded paralysis while digging a self-preserving rut of solitude; many even function in hate (whether deliberately or unaware), deconstructing the hopes and aspirations of dreamers, operating under limitations which brood of misery and cause fragmented relationships. Who are YOU? Even if no one knows your name, your character should be established. I like what John Maxwell says, as it pertains to planning for success, “Make the decision once…then manage it daily.”1 As you decide to function in ways that guarantee tomorrows success, consider instituting what I call “The Four P’s” in your practice of daily discipline. The Four P’s Over the years I’ve learned four principles that, if practiced deliberately and consistently, will absolutely steer any determined individual toward their desired outcome. The Power of Words Whether the concept is promoted by a criticized researcher of water crystals named Dr. Marasu Emoto, by e-books discussing neural biology that supports the widely accepted Law of Attraction, or biblical principles of Hebrews 11:1; Job 22:28; Proverbs 23:7; 18:21; or Mark 11:232 (just to name a few) … the words that one speaks and meditate on 5
have the ability to influence and impact ones expectations of life, personal growth, the esteem of self and others, decision making, confidence in the fulfillment of goals, responses to circumstances, and perception of the future. The Power of Intake Tabula rasa, Latin for blank slate, is “a mind not yet affected by experiences, impressions, etc.”3 Your mind is like a massive recorder. What do you allow in? This next question is as important; what do you force out (by taking great measures to replace an existing thought with one that is opposite from what you were previously exposed)? There must be a conscientious ability to monitor and assess what one allows to penetrate and influence the mind, emotions, perspectives and values. It effects your projection! The Power of Projection Like a visual projector, your mind casts an image. Using creative visualization, one can imagine what life looks like having attained set goals along the journey of becoming. Making a vision board speaks to the consideration you’ve given to initial possibilities that come from doing something new or committing to change. Take the limits off your mind; don’t dream too small. Lift your vision higher; beyond what you are already proficient at and have already realized (from 6
your experience or others). Activate your ability to perceive the “end” of a decision. The Power of Pain and Pleasure Dr. I.V. Hilliard discusses how the mind takes the feeling of an experience and associates that experience as the cause of either pain or pleasure.4 He also states that an actual experience and a vividly imagined one is all the same to the sub-conscious mind.5 We have the ability to “live in the emotions” (either pleasurable or painful) of an impromptu or planned action; to consider and imagine all the possibilities, worst case scenarios and consequences; and make an overall assessment of the impact our decision will have on ourselves and others. The aforementioned principles, like any other, require daily practice to make progress. Taking time for reflection and subjective evaluation certainly reveals to oneself existing errors in thinking; negative and unproductive words that were heard and perpetuated by poor self-image and hopelessness from the surrounding environment. Self-degrading habits like spending too much time looking at others, and not enough time being responsible and proactive toward one’s own growth, is often a cause to being “stuck.” 7
Many people believe that certain external factors, like family history, circle of friends, religious upbringing, financial circumstance, inflexible work schedule, or lack of something specific, are barriers to success. This thought process manifests as habitual excuse making without any real effort toward, or recognition of need for, personal change; even an unwillingness to change due to complacency. It’s easier to endure and complain about an uncomfortable state when you perceive “it’s someone else’s fault” rather than experience the uncomfortable pressure of taking responsibility into one’s own hands to create a desirable space by using “The Four P’s.” Dispel the Myths There are so many excuses that hold the average person back. These are beliefs, negative attitudes, unproductive words, myths seeded into the impressionable mind from persons of influence in one’s life. What do you believe? If you believe that you possess a talent, what time have you invested or sacrifices have you made to bring value to it? Are others in your sphere of influence, beside yourself, impressed with your skill set; do they identify you as the resource to know for any particular niche? Do you spend time teaching others how to do what you have done? If you are prepared for the opportunity you’re hoping for, what attitude, rationale or looming myth is holding you back from becoming the person you see in your 8
dreams? Let’s look at a couple and see some facts that bust these myths wide open! MYTH #1: You Have To Be Famous To Make an Impact8 1937: All parents shout for joy! The convenience of a bendable drinking straw can be attributed to a dad who watched his daughter struggle to sip her milkshake through a straight paper straw. Joseph Freidman, an unknown inventor, “inserted a screw into the straw, and wrapped floss around it to create a ribbed texture. When he took the screw out, the straw naturally bent over the rim of the glass… He patented his idea in 1937 and started his own company to produce the straw. The rights to the flexible straw were eventually sold to the Maryland Cup Corporation, which now sells about 500 million of them every year.” 1858: For those who hate mistakes… the eraser is now attached to the pencil! “[Hymen] Lipman sold his patent for $100,000, which was a fortune in the mid-19th century. Today, you’d be hard pressed to find a pencil in a classroom without an eraser on the end of it.” 1985: Can I get a grande Caramel Macchiato, extra hot, no foam with whip and extra Carmel on top (we’re not gonna talk about the calories)? As an employee, “[Jack] Clements drew 9
up a domed lid, the first of its kind that would rest comfortably between the mouth and the nose…The dome helped prevent spilling… The Solo Traveler Lid quickly became an industry standard and has helped the company rake in $2 billion of annual revenue.” 1858: Paper or plastic…? I don’t remember ever seeing a paper bag that didn’t fold flat at the bottom to make it easier to pack and stand. Margaret Knight was an employee at a paper bag factory who sued a man over copyright infringement; she “invent[ed] a machine that folded and glued paper to make a flat-bottomed bag …spent late nights drawing up plans before creating a wooden prototype. She couldn’t, however, obtain a patent until she made one out of iron… She ended up establishing her own paper bag company and received large sums of royalties for her invention.” MYTH #2: You Have To Know an Insider To Get Ahead A high school drop-out with dyslexia, Robert Branson failed at ventures involving Christmas trees and Australian parakeets before finding success in anything mentionable. He borrowed money from his aunt “and moved to London to pursue his dream, a youth-culture magazine called Student. ‘I didn’t do it to make money—I did it because I wanted to edit a magazine’... In the end, you’ve got to take calculated risks; 10
otherwise, you’re going to sit in mothballs all day and do nothing’… Such risks took him to from selling records to retail outlets out of his trunk, to his own record store, The Virgin Record label by his mid-20’s then Virgin Atlantic Airways.9 Kimberly Bryant loved math and science. She grew up in the south “at a time when it was cool to be smart… [and] the recruitment of women in STEM paths was at an all-time high.” After a college career at Vanderbilt University, a background in engineering and IT, and 15 years in Corporate America, she settled in the Bay Area. “I felt a very strong drive to reach back into my community and help other young women of color discover the many opportunities for career growth and achievement in technology and decided to create Black Girls CODE as a vehicle to expose young women of color to the technical space… to ‘change the equation’ so that more women and minorities enter the IT field as creators.”10 “When she was 17, Natalie Warne learned about the Invisible Children Project -- a campaign to rescue Ugandan children from Joseph Kony’s child armies. As an intern for Invisible Children, she led a nation-wide campaign for the project. She successfully got the campaign featured on the Oprah Winfrey show, a victory that dramatically raised the profile of the movement. Natalie now works as a film editor in 11
Los Angeles.”11 Conscious Competence In each account mentioned above, the individuals were intentional in their endeavors. They knew what they were good at. They saught knowledge and resource in areas where they had none. How many times have you witnessed an individual whom you admire in some way “doing what they do” and you think to yourself in amazement, “They make it look so effortless!”? Whether watching your favorite performer on stage, your favorite orator in the midst of an audience, or your mentor organize and plan for an event; you’re reminded of the phrase “practice makes perfect”. That person has an ability, or high level of competence in that area to the point where they might say, “I can do it in my sleep!” Compare that to someone who has the habit of speaking on subjects in which they have no proof of real knowledge. While listening to them go on (self-absorbed in telling others what theythey “know”), you may say (to yourself about them; or even directly to them), “You THINK you know… but you have NO IDEA!”
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What do you believe about yourself? No one wants to admit that they are incompetent and everyone would prefer to say they are mature! Look at it this way, as Bishop Paul Morton points out‌ Truth produces positiveness, confidence, and satisfaction creating Self-acceptance. Entertaining lies keeps you feeling nervous and unfulfilled producing Self-rejection.7 13
Here’s your chance to be honest about how effectively you can “fill a room”, or why you haven’t consistently been able to “fill a room”; if you’ve ever “hated” on someone who did it well; perhaps why you stopped trying, or never bothered to try. Who Is Responsible? → YOU It starts with a dream. Is it your dream to fill a room, even if no one knows your name? The creator of Entertainment Power Player: The Premier Fashion Film, Music, Sports and TV Directory, Dackeyia Q. Sterling contacted me when she happened upon my business, 4The Dreamers, to tell me how excited she was about my development. She commented, “People stop dreaming at the age of 25 and start paying bills.” Certainly, you have obligation to the stuff around you, but there is a responsibility beyond that. Who is the person you desire to become and what cause is greater than you that will motivate and propel you forward? Who is responsible for seeing the vision in your mind manifest into reality? Consider the etymology of the word RESPONSIBLE – corresponding or answering to something, accountable; origin 1590-1600; > Latin rēsponsus past participle of respond – answer to, promise in return; from Latin rēspondēre (reback + spondere-promise); suffix –ible.12 This can easily be interpreted as “return to the promise you made to yourself and 14
be accountable to it.” You must fight to keep the small promises to yourself so that the bigger promises, the larger goals, the steps that lead you to realize your vision and dreams will become less of an ominous feat and more of a simple challenge that you WILL overcome. Your first obligation is to live in the integrity of being one person of single mind who stands in clarity of thought is to live in the integrity of being one person of single mind who stands in clarity of thought concerning what you’ve been given. In this, with great counsel and trust in purpose, you can effectively pursue how you will share it with the world. So now let’s talk about “How to Fill a Room When No One Knows Your Name.”
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