The Quirky Wolf
BORIS KUZMANOVIĆ
CARPENTER WOLF
Once upon a time, there was a seemingly quite ordinary wolf. But looks can be deceiving – you won’t meet such an interesting wolf in your life! You will see for yourself when you get to know him better. To begin with, it should be said that this wolf’s name is Stanivuk. How did he get that name? Well, that’s a long story, but it will come up later.
Ah, there’s our wolf! It seems he’s out for a walk in the forest on a beautiful spring day.
Foxie Moxie is walking towards him. She is hurrying along with some papers.
Hello, Moxie!
What are you doing?
What do you mean? Haven’t you heard? I am in charge of the forest population census.
What’s that, a census?
Foxie explains, showing off: – A census is when someone very responsible writes down in beautiful handwriting which animals live in the forest, as well as all the information about them, such as their names, addresses, occupations, and so on. Then we’ll know how many of us there are in the forest and who does what.
That is very important for our forest community.
Well, since you’re here, let’s get started!
Name?
I don’t know anything, you have to tell me, wolf. Address? What was it again?
All right. Occupation?
Well, you know, Stanivuk...
Umm... Number 5 Beech Street.
I guess... wolf!
– No, not that – Foxie says impatiently – what do you do? Dentist, doctor, pharmacist... something like that. I guess you have some occupation. You don’t roam around the forest all day, do you? – she looked at him again like a teacher through her glasses, which were comically perched on the tip of her nose.
– Wolf let out a
wolf’s howl.
When he saw how Moxie was showing off doing such a responsible job, he decided on no account to admit that he had no occupation.
Suddenly, he remembered watching a TV show about carpenters who made beautiful furniture out of wood, so he said:
Of course, I am... a CARPENTER!
At that, Moxie said, wide-eyed: – Really?! I didn’t know that! Well, that’s wonderful! When I finish this census, I’ll stop by at your place and bring you a chair with a broken leg. It’s great that we have a carpenter in the forest! You just need to work on your advertising a bit because no one knows that you’re a carpenter. But, don’t worry, I’ll help you with that! Soon everyone will know! – Foxie exclaimed joyfully and went on her way.
What
should I do now?! Foxie will spread the word that I’m a carpenter, but I don’t even know how to drive a nail in...
– the wolf howled again.
But he quickly pulled himself together and said:
– Well, you’ve really cooked it up, and now, by God, you have to taste it!
Immediately, he went to the library to look for a book for carpenters.
There, he was greeted by the hard-working squirrel librarian Simka, who was said to have read more books than all the animals in the forest. And to be honest, the forest inhabitants didn’t often stop by the library. That’s why the squirrel was surprised to see Wolf.
Hey, Wolf, welcome!
How can I help you?
Carpentry?! How unusual. And that manual, if I may ask, what do you need it for?
Well… um, I need a carpentry manual.
Well, you see… – Wolf faltered – … so to speak, for a long time now I have been, um… a carpenter! I just wanted to look something up in that manual… to see if I remember something correctly. You know, some carpentry things…
Upon hearing those words, the squirrel jumped off her chair:
– You’re a carpenter?! That’s great! Come, please, and fix a bookshelf for me. It’s all wobbly, like a loose tooth. Oh, it’s great that we have a carpenter in the forest! Why didn’t I know that before?!
Wolf interrupted her:
– You know, Simka, I’m in a terrible hurry, and I didn’t even bring any tools. I didn’t know I’d need them.
When I return the book, I can see to the shelf.
Ooooh, of course!
Let me go get that manual!
I got out of that one, thought the wolf.
The squirrel quickly returned, carrying a thick book.
This is the only one I have, but you’re surely not a beginner…
– It doesn’t matter! Everything I need is probably in there. Thank you very much! – Wolf said and rushed outside with the book.
On his way back, he stopped at Bear’s shop to get some tools. He bought a hammer, nails, saws, drills, milling machines, and various sandpapers – and all those names caused him a real headache.
Now, Wolf, you wretched wolf, you have to master carpentry. There’s no other way!
Thus loaded down with his tools, he arrived home. As he entered the yard, he found a pile of various pieces of furniture in front of his door, and there were messages pasted all over it.
“Awwoooooo!!!”
– he exclaimed, sending the frightened sparrows flying away from the bush. – It seems that all the animals in the forest had something to repair and were just waiting for a carpenter to show up.
And here I am – a fake carpenter! Woe is me!
Wolf moved the furniture aside and went into the house, grumbling.
What possessed you to blurt out that you were a carpenter?! Why didn’t you say you were a shoemaker?!
No-one in the forest needs one of those. You really got yourself into hot water!
After his lament, Wolf opened the manual and began to read. First he took Foxie’s chair to practise on it. He was learning from the book and hammering the chair. He cut off a part of a thick branch for the leg that had fallen off. He measured it with a tape measure, processed it with a milling machine, smoothed it with sandpaper, and then glued it to the chair. Just in case, he also hammered in two nails, as recommended in the manual.
He lifted the chair up high and kept turning it around, his eyes sparkling with joy.
– Good as new! Who would have thought?!
I AM A CARPENTER!
Next up was the rabbit’s cabinet, whose door had come off. He quickly fixed it, consulting the book a little and improvising a little on his own.
The cabinet was soon as good as new.
And so, the sound of pounding and scraping could be heard all night long from Wolf’s little house.
The day dawned, and he hadn’t slept a wink. He had never been so tired before. But never so happy, either!
He lined up the repaired pieces of furniture in front of his house and waited for their owners to come and pick them up.
When they arrived, it was a sight to behold!
They were thrilled and paid for the repairs fairly, so Wolf collected a lot of money.
Then he decided to buy more tools and enrol in a real carpentry school in order to learn more than what was written in the beginner’s manual. He, by God, was no longer a beginner!
