LESSON 5: IN RELATION TO SOMEBODY

Lesson 1 Lesson 5

UNIT 2

IN RELATION TO SOMEBODY

– Why do you think people need other people around?

What are the main types of relationships people usually have? – What relationships do you have? Do you feel happy with the people surrounding you?

VOCABULARY

1. Look at the list of possible aspects in people’s relationships. Divide them into the following categories.

control / trust / honesty / manipulation / independence / respect / jealousy / pressure / equality / loyalty / communication / security / happiness / support / comfort / abuse / true self feeling / betrayal / offence / greed / self-interest / encouragement / love / fear / bullying

HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

2. Complete the sentences using some of the words from the table above. In some cases the words can be used as a different part of speech.

1) Friends offer _________ and understanding when we really need it. 2) It’s a sign of over _________if a parent neglects all the decisions of a child and tells what to do, or even tells what to wear or who to spend time with. 3) I always expect total ___________ from my students. 4) Jamie experienced ___________from her History teacher earlier in the week. 5) __________ can lead to both psychological and emotional problems. 6) My parents brought me up to _________ others. 7) Try your friend before you ______ him. 8) _________ between parents and children minimizes conflict and plays a role in good family relationships. 9) __________ includes actions such as making threats, spreading rumors, attacking someone physically or verbally, and excluding someone from a group on purpose. 10) Gender __________is achieved when women and men enjoy the same rights and opportunities across all sectors of society.

READING

3. How can you tell if the relationships are healthy or unhealthy? Read the text about healthy and unhealthy patterns of relationships and tell if your ideas are similar to the author’s. There is one you don’t need to use.

A relationship is a two way street. In an ideal world, it would work like this: person one enjoys being with person two and person two enjoys being with person one. Each person tries their best to keep together.

It is important to understand the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships. Healthy relationships are ones that bring out the best in you. Even though no relationship is perfect, healthy relationships make you feel good almost all of the time and generally bring you up and not down. People trust each other and communicate openly. People are always there and support each other when needed.

But… it doesn’t always work like that. Relationships involve effort from both sides. And that’s where this perfect analogy falls apart.

It can’t be up to one person to keep up the relationship, it needs both people to thrive. One person can only do so much before everything is ruined. Some people are like that. They try their best to keep a relationship going for as long as possible. They try their best to stay in contact with the other person. But how much is enough? When do you eventually say “I’m done, I can’t do this anymore.” and move on? At that point, the blame falls on the other person. There’s no more mutual responsibility. They tried their best to keep it going but failed.

Why does the other person stop? There’s no exact science or reason: it just happens. And while the relationship is falling to pieces, that first person is left confused. “Why is this happening?” “Did I do something wrong?” It’s an extremely weird feeling not knowing what or why it is happening. And at that point, it’s too late to find out.

Unhealthy relationship can start when a pattern of certain behaviours, like maintaining power and control, takes place. Sometimes it is difficult to see when we are in an unhealthy one. When friends or partners, or even parents or children don’t want to spend time with one another; if people are overly dependent on each other, or vice versa do not respect mutual privacy; if a person is secretive or lies, pressures a partner, or simply only focuses on oneself, one’s interests, feelings and ignores their partner’s, then it is a bad sign. Here people may feel anxious, confused, unconfident, and even unsafe.

Healthy relationships are important and if you or your friend, parents, or any other person knows of some sort of abuse, it is never too late to get or give help. Whatever you give you will get back; always treat people with care, love, and respect. Don’t take anything for granted. Treat them the way they need to be treated and share with them how you want to be treated in return.

4. Read the questions below and choose the correct option based on information from the article.

1) What is a pattern of healthy relationships? a)talking to each other about everything b)getting mutual enjoyment from your relationships c) spending much time with each other 2) What is the most important thing in relationships? a)communication b) mutuality c) friendship 3) What is the key to being a good friend? a)try do your best to maintain your friendship b)offer your opinion and persuade what’s better, because you know as a real friend c) try to mind your own business and keep privacy 4) In a healthy relationship, there must always be a leader. a)true b) false 5) What is an unhealthy relationship? a)when you listen to your friend b)when you can’t wait to see each other c) when you never ask for advice 6) Treat people the way ______ a)you want to be treated! b)that others treat them! c) they deserve!

5. Match the words below to their synonyms in colour from the text. There is one you don’t need to use.

be behaved with / in the opposite way / do well / break (2) / I’m fed up / help and support / reveal potential / stay close / accept but not value / the responsibility goes to / the way of acting / worried

Lesson 1 Lesson 5

UNIT 2

Lesson 1 Lesson 5

UNIT 2

6. Read the list of situations which can happen between people in different relationships.

Underline the suggestions if you think the behavior is concerning in any way. Comment on 2 healthy and 2 unhealthy situations. Have you ever faced such behaviour? Have you ever behaved in any of these ways?

1) A person lies to you, but constantly accuses you of cheating. 2) A person asks and suggests something to you, for the weekend for instance. 3) A person makes an effort to get to know your friends and family better. 4) A person compliments and encourages you. 5) A person blames you for things that go wrong. 6) A person makes you laugh when you’re sad. 7) A person laughs at your tastes and views. 8) A person makes you give up your habits.

GRAMMAR

GRAMMAR BANK

SHOULD / SHOULDN’T/ OUGHT TO – Advice in the present Ex.: I think you should go to the doctor’s. (it’s a good idea) People shouldn’t generalize. (it’s not a good idea) I ought to go to work before nine o’clock because my boss will be there. (it’s a good idea to go to work before nine)

You ought not (to is mostly omitted) go to the party (it’s not a good idea to go to the party)

SHOULD/OUGHT TO HAVE + PAST PARTICIPLE – Advice about the past – criticism Ex.: You should have studied more for the exam. (you didn’t study enough and failed the exam) You shouldn’t have done that. (you did something and it was the bad thing to do) You ought to have read a full chapter last night. (you didn’t do something and didn’t fulfil the agreement) HAD BETTER – Advice in the present HAD BETTER NOT – Advice in the present

Ex.: We’d better finish this report before we leave. Ex.: You’d better not touch that computer.

NOTE! Had better is different from should and ought to because it means that if you don’t follow the advice there is some sort of negative consequence or negative action. So, it expresses the strongest advice.

7. Choose the correct option to complete the short dialogues.

Rick: Hi, Matt! What’s wrong? Matt: I’m being bullied at school. What ought to / should / shouldn’t I do? Rick: You ought to / should / shouldn’t go and tell a teacher. Matt: But what if the boy finds out? Rick: You ought to / should / shouldn’t worry about that. You need to say something or he might not stop.

Cindy: I know you like Ben. When are you going to tell him? Alice: I don’t know. I’m too shy. What do you think I had better / should / shouldn’t do? Cindy: Well, you had better / should / shouldn’t tell him now before someone else asks him out. Alice: What if he says “No”? Cindy: You had better / should / shouldn’t worry about that.

Ed: Hey! You had better / shouldn’t do that. You’ll get in trouble. Stella: Don’t worry. You had better / shouldn’t concentrate on what you have to do.

8. Work in pairs. Read about the problem and give some advice on the solution. Take turns and discuss your problems with your partner.

Student A – I can’t sleep because of my neighbor, who plays the cello until 1a.m. – My history teacher picks on me because of my piercing. – My parents want me to go to Law school, but I’m really into art. – Yesterday I saw my best friend’s boyfriend kissing another girl. Should I tell her?

Student B – My parents won’t let me put on make-up when I go to school. – I got a bad mark in Maths. I haven’t told my parents yet because I’m afraid they’ll ground me. – My sister always takes my clothes without asking me first. – A group of girls troll me on Facebook. I don’t know what to do.

Lesson 1 Lesson 5

UNIT 2

LISTENING

9. Read the questions from teenagers asking for advice on some problems they have with their close people. What would you suggest? Listen to the recordings and match the tips to the questions.

__I have a friend, and we got into a fight and we stopped talking. I miss her very much, but I don't know if she wants to talk with me again. What should I do? __What should I do if I tell someone my friend's secret and they tell that friend? __How can I convince my overprotective parents to let me go to prom over the weekend with my male friend?

10. Do you agree with the advice given? Explain the meaning of the words below. Fill in the blanks using them, and listen to the recording once again to check your answers.

heart-to-heart / nagged / worth / fault / boundaries / reacted / justify / lesson in life / get to know / slip out

1) If you feel it’s your_____that both of you stopped talking, do apologize! 2) I have been through this and I_____like a stupid, I_____her and then, just like you, missed her and wanted to talk 3) You’ll find someone else_____your while, don’t worry. 4) If it’s a sincere conversation,_____, you may get your wish granted and establish some personal_____. 5) They may feel more comfortable if they can meet him and_____him a little bit. 6) You’ve just learned a valuable_____. Be honest and then_____your behaviour. 7) Explain to your friend that her secret slipped and that you certainly did not let her secret_____ of any sort of spiteful evil gossipy way.

SPEAKING

11. Prepare a short speech on about healthy and unhealthy relationships. Answer the questions below to organise your speech.

1) How do you behave with people? With your friends? With your family? 2) What do you get from knowing people? 3) How many friends do you have? Do you get on well with them? 4) What qualities do you want to see in your friend? 5) Give some advice to your peers how to find a true friend.