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f o o r P A note from the author:

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his book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This book may not be resold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you are reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favourite book retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hardwork of this author

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f o o r PPurposeful PARENTING

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Copyright © 2015 by Samson Iyayi PURPOSEFUL PARENTING Doing it God’s way

by Samson Iyayi

ISBN 9781498428194 All rights reserved solely by the author. The author guarantees all contents are original and do not infringe upon the legal rights of any other person or work. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without the permission of the author. The views expressed in this book are not necessarily those of the publisher.

Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are taken from the New International Version (NIV). Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™.

Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations are taken from the Good News Translation (GNT).

Copyright © 1992 American Bible Society. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations are taken from the New Living Translation (NLT).

Copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission.

All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations are taken from the Amplified Bible (AMP). Copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Contact The Author Samson Iyayi L.I.F.E Parenting Academy Equipping you for parenting fulfillment www.lifeparentingacademy.com +2348037046123; +2348183660475

Published In Nigeria By SOS Publications +234-813-529-1769, +234-809-481-4575 sospublications@yahoo.com

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Table Of Contents Dedication Acknowledgment Foreword Introduction

Section 1 Chapter One God is Trans-generational Chapter Two God's Pattern Chapter Three The Biblical Case of Moses Chapter Four Definitions Chapter Five Biblical Purposeful Parenting 05

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Chapter Six Parenting Touch Points Learning Points

Section 2 Theme Parenting Activity L.I.F.E Parenting Academy Helpful Resources Citation Meet the Author

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Dedication

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dedicate this book to God the author of all things and the best parent of all time.

To all parents who strive each day to make the lives of their children count by righteous living and exemplary stewardship.

To dad and mum, you continue to be the best parents one could have been given by God. I am so grateful for everything you instilled in me and for how you raised me. Thank you!

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Acknowledgment

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here are many contributors to a book and I appreciate all who have made this dream a

reality. Your ideas and critique made this effort worthwhile and an unforgetable, learning experience.

I thank my wife, Chioma, for her continual support and for being my first fan. You make fulfilling my purpose so easy!

I thank my daughters, Kayla, Emmanuella and Isabella for being patient and understanding daddy needs to do this daily.

To my mentors, Pastor Femi Monehin, Pastor Ose, Dr. Scott Turansky, Pastor Tony Raphael, Jide Adeleye and Rev. McAbraham Inajoh who read this manuscript and gave their advice, thank you for believing in me.

To every reader who studies the principles of this book and applies them, you make me fulfill my Lord's calling.

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Foreword

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love the biblical description of children as arrows in the hands of a mighty man (Ps. 127:4). A few

things come to mind here: first, your children will go in the direction you shoot them; second, they will travel only as far as you shoot them; third, the two earlier outcomes depend on the parents. This brings to the fore the imperative of intentionality in parenting... purposeful parenting, if you like.

The business of parenting is too precious to be left to random choices and Samson Iyayi has undertaken, through his book, to shorten your learning curve in this very important God-given assignment. I found it to be scripture-based, practical and relevant.

Take his counsel, apply them and enjoy the rewards.

Soon, you'd agree with me that we all owe him a debt of gratitude for this insightful work.

Rev. Nath McAbraham-Inajoh, JP, Senior Pastor, CGMi, Ajao Estate Family Worship Centre, Lagos.

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Introduction "Statistics are human beings with the tears wiped off."

- Paul Brodeur (1931)

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ike every parent who continually focuses on learning, and then hopes, prays and believes the best for his or her child, I am a parent and still growing in my knowledge of parenting. Several years ago my journey into fatherhood began when I held my first daughter, Kayla, in my arms.

That bundle of joy awakened in me a deep sense of awe and responsibility that made me realize how intense my duty and stewardship would be to just sustain her. I knew instinctively that I would have to nurture, guide, teach, coach, protect and train this 13

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child for the next couple of years to become a fully developed, independent and spiritually conscious lady.

The fact that I had to prepare this life in my arms for its future success and experience was a very humbling and sobering thought. Every parent, young and old, identifies with this experience. Those first moments of holding a baby are exhilarating and then afterwards you realize you have a new job and parenting can be an amazing journey and joyous or sad experience.

Our universal concern as parents is always about ensuring we raise our children to be fulfilled individuals who promote godliness, live a life full of legacies and represent our best interests well. This is a dream we all share.

Like you, I have had my fears about what it entails to be a good parent and I have also had many questions.

Many years later and after three daughters, my search for answers led me to God and this book, Purposeful Parenting, is the synthesis of my search and time with God. As parents we live in very challenging times where 14

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many issues grapple for our attention and our children become secondary concerns as we mortgage their upbringing and care to care givers, nannies, baby sitters, house keepers and teachers whose personal histories and character we may not even know. When our children come of age we no longer see ourselves and we wonder what may have happened to us and sadly, to them.

My focus in this book is to point us to God's revealed will concerning intentional parenting and the consequencies of a haphazard commitment. God's revealed purpose is always about affecting generations using the family unit. He is the quintessential example of what true parenting should be and He reveals in His word how parents should relate with their children and how children should honour their parents. He shows us that honouring one's parents guarantees long life and providing purposeful parenting guarantees a life long joy of peace.

God's word is filled with riveting portraits of families, their actions and inactions and the consequencies for those who chose rebellion as well as blessings for those who chose obedience. I would rather trust and 15

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follow His pattern of training and take what He has revealed to men and women whose life work focus on raising purposeful children.

Recently, while studying some parenting statistics on the National Fatherhood Initiative website I discovered some startling facts. Behind parenting statistics are real people with real problems; problems we dare not ignore because its effects are a long lasting ripple and ricochet. The reality of our times place before us all a burdensome responsibility as parents.

This demographic of human society know for a fact that being haphazard about parenting children will only produce traumatized, mis-educated, and misinformed individuals whose character are half baked, whose private hurts may never heal and whose consequent actions whether in suicide, teenage marriage, prision, divorce, murder, single parenting will always ricochet on us and the larger society. All over the world, single parenting, divorce, fatherless and motherless homes are on the increase.

The statistics are shocking and heart breaking. God is calling on us to repent and to make a concerted effort 16

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to dedicate time to our children, His heritage and solutions to man made problems. The statistics below are the sad portraits of how our parenting has drifted away from God's revealed purpose. § In 2008, 67% of children ages 0 to 17 lived with two married parents, down from 77% in 1980 § There were 12.9 million single parent families in 2006 - 10.4 million single mother families and 2.5 single father families § Parents in two-parent families spend an average of 2 hours a day interacting with their children compared to only 50 minutes for single parent families. § 1 in every 58 children in the United S t a t e s (2%), were abused in 2006. This is also becoming a trend in Africa. § 60% of abused children were the victims of educational, physical, or emotional abuse § 40% of abused children were the victims of physical, sexual, or emotional abuse. This is 17

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also a trend in Africa. § Children with fathers who are involved are 70% less likely to drop out of school. § 63% of teen suicides come from fatherless homes. § 90% of all runaways and homeless children are from fatherless homes. § Daughters of single parents without a Father involved are 53% more likely to marry as teenagers, 711% more likely to have children as teenagers, 164% more likely to have a premarital birth and 92% more likely to get divorced themselves. § The percentage of children living only with their mothers has increased from 11% in 1970 to 24% in 2005 § Girls, whose mothers were teenagers at the time of their birth, are over 80% more likely to become teenage mothers as well.

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ยง Approximately 70% of single-parent mothers live in poverty, earning less than $13,000 annually. ยง 70% of girls who had sex before age 1 4 , a n d 60% of girls who had sex before age 15 report having sex involuntary.

These are statistics of what negligent parenting has caused in our world. When we realize that our children belong first to God, and that they are His gifts over which we have been placed as stewards to be accountable for, we may well be on our way to true discovery of purpose.

This is a wake up call to every father and mother who seeks to fulfill purpose to take God's injunction of seeking Godly seed seriously. No more games.

It is my prayer that we will fulfill this calling God has placed upon us to be purposeful parents.

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GOD IS TRANS-GENERATIONAL

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Chapter One God Is Trans-Generational

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od is very deliberate about His divine plans and purpose. In creating the family unit, He started with the foundation as every master builder does. He made man the foundation of the family to serve as priest, teacher, protector, father, provider and worker and established the order for marital relationships. Since Man was created first and the woman after the man, woman was to submit to her husband while the man was commanded to love his wife.

But beyond this, God's original intention was to have an earthly family that would perpetuate His kingdom,

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culture and government on earth using one man and several generations later we have 6.7 billion people on planet earth. Isaiah 25:1 describes God as the doer of such wonderful things, planned long ago and now accomplished by Him. When God created man, He saw generations of Himself on earth because Man was made in His image and after His likeness.

God's strategies are defined by His thoughts as He declares in Isaiah 55:8-11 and His dream is to have Godly seed in every generation as He states in Malachi 2:13 – 15. In Joel 1:2, God warns, “Hear this, you leaders of the people. Listen, all who live in the land in all your history has anything like this happened before? Tell your children about it in the years to come and let your children tell their children. Pass the story down from generation to generation” (NLT) In another interesting account in Judges 3:1-4 the Bible records: “These are the nations that Lord left in the land 24

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to test those Israelites who had not experienced the wars of Canaan. He did this to teach warfare to generations of Israelites who had no experience in battle. These are nations the Philistines (those living under the five Philistine rulers), all the Canaanites, the Sidonians, and the Hivites living in the mountains of Lebanon from Mount Baal-hermon to Lebo-hamath.

These people were left to test the Israelites – to see whether they would obey commands the Lord had given to their ancestors through Moses.

God created marriage to perpetuate His heritage.

Godly children are His heritage (Psalm 127:3-5).

Why is God so concerned about children? God shows His concern for children for the following reasons: 1 Children perpetuate God's dream of having a family on earth. They are His seed. (Malachi 2:1315; Psalm 78:6) 2. Children are His reward and legacy. They are carriers of His solutions to man-made problems.

(Psalm 37:26)

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3. Children reflect the nature and attitude of His kingdom. (Luke 18:16) 4. Children are transmitters of His testimony. (Psalm 22:30-31) 5. Children are His defense for the aged. (Psalm 127:4) God is concerned about the acts and conduct of children while they are little as these are indicators of the condition of their heart. In Proverbs 20:11, He shows that the way to know and understand a child's heart (that is its attitude and thoughts) is by observing its acts. A child's acts are indicators of pure and impure motives.

The heart is the core of every human being born on earth. It is the regulator of a man's actions, decisions and attitudes to the issues and challenges of life. It is the reason God commands a man to guide it diligently.

We must start off with the knowledge of God's Word to our children before, during and after they have been weaned. As parents we guide the hearts of our children by deliberate and involved parenting.

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God's idea is that our children will grow strong in body and wise in spirit through deliberate and involved parenting (Luke 2:39-40). This relates specifically to physical development and spiritual awareness. A parent is the first and only access to spiritual education and faith a child can have in its early formative years. Be intentional about giving your child opportunities to learn about God. Parents are the first models of faith and righteousness that a child can see. Their minds and hearts are impressionable and between the ages of zero to Fourteen years parents must ensure that they create an environment of loving reverence for God. These nurturing environments are created by words and order (discipline), not by furniture and aesthetical toys though these items are good.

A person is fed and groomed by words and by order.

These words must be positive and filled with faith. We must always speak positively into the lives of our children and never curse them because they are carriers of the blessings and solutions of God to the earth. There are several examples in the Scriptures of mothers who were privy to divine knowledge about their children even before they were conceived.

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Mothers have a specific role to play with respect to blessing their children. The weaning stage is a crucial stage in a child's life especially as character is determined by maternal nurture and paternal discipline. Mary, Jesus' biological mother knew things about what Jesus would do and become and kept the prophecies of Elizabeth, Simeon and the prophetess Ann in her heart. (Luke 2:34-39).

Rebecca, Esau and Jacob's mother, knew that Jacob was the preferred of God even before the twin brothers were born (Genesis 25:22-23). This knowledge influenced her counsel to Jacob until he escaped to Haran when his twin Esau swore to kill him for usurping the blessing of their father Isaac. Mothers are very precious in God's plan for the preparation of a child into a well groomed, and spiritually developed adult.

As parents we introduce order by using routines. A routine defines play time, study time, siesta time and prayer time. Order helps you to make deliberate decisions about your home's interior dĂŠcor in making it a child friendly environment. We must realize that our children have just seventeen years to spend in our 28

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homes so we are duty bound to make each of these years they spend with us fond indelible memories and moments of learning more about God. Order also determines that we teach our children values, morals and principles. Values define character, morals refine conduct (behavior and attitude) and principles produce success.

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GOD'S PATTERN

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Chapter Two God's Pattern

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he Bible is replete with patterns indicative of God's unique strategies in implementing His

divine purpose and plans. Whether the intent is to change a life, reveal Himself to a chosen representative or deliver a person, God always shows in Scripture His ways of doing things. God is in the business of perpetuating His heritage through children and families on earth. Biblical patterns in the Holy Scriptures reveal how He does this.

There are several ways He reveals His intentions to families. We have the example of Samson whose mother was visited by an Angel to disclose the details of his birth and why he had been selected to execute 35

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God's will against the Philistines.

We have another example of Joseph who at seventeen, had a clear picture of God's plan to preserve many lives. Joseph was a man hand-picked by God in a family of twelve brothers. Other examples are of Prophet Samuel and King David. While Samuel was dedicated during a vow his mother Hannah made, David who being groomed to be a Shepherd by his father Jesse was chosen to replace King Saul.

In each of these examples God shows that He looks at the heart and not at the outward appearance of a man as He declares to Prophet Samuel in 1 Samuel 16:7: ”But the Lord said to him, “Pay no attention to how tall and handsome he is. I have rejected him, because I do not judge as people judge. they look at the outward appearance, but I look at the heart.” (GNT) The heart is the starting point for God and every parent must focus on it. The heart is His central focus in heavenly transactions with the earth of choosing families and individuals. God is very deliberate in fulfilling His purposes regarding perpetuating His 36

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legacy in the following ways: 1. Private Visitation 2. Personal Revelation 3. Individual Dedication 1. Private visitation He identifies a family through which His purposes will be actualized and communicates His intentions as in the case of Priest Zechariah and Elizabeth, Joseph the Carpenter and his betrothed Mary, Manoah and his wife (Samson's parents). At other times He may not reveal his intentions as it was with Amram and Jochebed the parents of Moses, and Daniel who was taken into exile to Babylon at a tender age. In these situations He works behind the scenes facilitating his programme of salvation.

2. Personal revelation He also gives a personal revelation to the object of His love and purpose like He did with Joseph through his dreams and with Gideon through an angelic visitation and Daniel through visions. God's purpose extends beyond generations and he is always looking for a family, a parent, or a child that He can anoint to establish His ordinance and will.

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3. Individual dedication There were individuals who decided to dedicate themselves or their children to God in moments of crises as they sought answers to their personal problems. We are reminded of Hannah, Elkanah's wife who had no child and who made a specific vow and demand to God at Shiloh that if God would grant her a male child he would be dedicated to God's service all through his lifetime.

Samuel, the child she prayed for and who later become a Prophet and the last Judge in Israel, had no say in the matter of his destiny. He was dedicated to the Lord as a Nazarene even before conception. Now, at the time of his mother's request God was searching for a prophet to replace Eli whose sons, Phinehas and Hophni, had defiled the temple and the offerings of worshippers.

Hannah's vow was God's solution to the need for continuity in the prophetic dispensation.

Two books are dedicated to the life and exploits of Samuel who was described as a man whose words “proved to be reliable and all Israel knew that he was confirmed as a prophet of the Lord.� (1 Samuel 3:1921) 38

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THE BIBLICAL CASE OF MOSES

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Chapter Three The Biblical Case of Moses

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n this chapter, we will review the biblical case of Moses the Deliverer. We will begin by painting a

portrait providing specific details relating to his destiny and divine assignment.

Biblical Case

Moses

Parents: Parenting Purpose:

Amram and Jochebed Preservation of a Destiny child To lead the Israelites out of Egypt to the Promise Land

Purpose:

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God's Plan:

Study Text:

To establish a holy nation and to keep His promise to Abraham Exodus 2:1-14

Moses was born into the family of Amram and Jochebed a Levitical family descended from the lineage division of Kohath. However, Jochebed was a more direct descendent of Levi (one of the sons of Jacob).

The Bible describes Moses as a most beautiful baby who was hidden at home for three months, rescued, adopted and groomed by Pharaoh's daughter as a prince of Egypt and a very impressive thinker and athlete. Little wonder he wrote the books of the Torah (first five books of the Old Testament)! Not much is disclosed of his father, Amram, other than he was a Levitical clan descendant of Kohath.

He was forty years old when he first discovered his purpose as a deliverer of his kinsmen. In an attempt to rescue a manhandled Israelite, he murdered an Egyptian and escaped into the Midianite desert where he would eventually discover God and the dictates of His purpose for his life. He is described as the most 44

humble man on earth during his lifetime.

God's ultimate purpose was to keep a promise. God wanted to raise a holy nation; a holy people that He would make the envy of nations so He sought a man and found Abraham and made a promise to him and had subsequent covenants with him. He kept His promise to Abraham about building a multitude of nations out of his lineage.

Moses was the vehicle God used to actualize this promise of a physical Israelite nation and to teach His laws of godly nationhood while showing them as an example of His favor and government amongst the nations surrounding Israel.

In Genesis 15:13 during a covenant enactment with Abraham, God prophesies about the future of the Israelites being in captivity for 400 years in a foreign nation, Egypt. In Genesis 12:1, God makes His promise to Abraham (then Abram) of the glorious future and blessing that would await his obedience.

Factors Affecting Moses' Upbringing There are many influences that shape us as we develop and mature. Moses was no exception. He was 45

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influenced by the following factors: 1.

2.

3.

4.

Nurturing Environment Culture Maternal Influence Foster Fatherly Influence

1. Nurturing Environment He was born and raised in a culture of idol worship.

Though nursed by his biological mother at infancy, he was trained by an Egyptian princess in the palace and espoused ideologies foreign to his heritage and people. God had to reposition Moses through his training as a Shepherd to help him unlearn the culture of his foster home and to learn His ways.

2. Culture Egypt was the center of civilization at this time and had prestigious monuments like the pyramids of Pharaoh. It was also a culture steeped in cultism, immorality, necromancy, sorcery and idol worship.

Egypt controlled the coastal cities and parts of the interior of Canaan in the period of the 18th Dynasty (the dynasty that ruled immediately after the Hyksos expulsion, from the 1500's to the late 1300's BC). The worship of the sun god, Rah, was popular during the 46

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time of Moses' birth, life and experience.

3. Maternal Influence The only knowledge of God he had was with his biological mother and family at infancy. The period of his weaning after being discovered by Pharaoh's daughter, was a defining experience for the young Moses.

He only discovered God at 42 years old through a personal supernatural encounter after spending a year in the desert with his father-in-law Jethro. The burning bush experience was a life shaping encounter God used to introduce Himself formally to Moses.

That meeting was a defining moment and Moses met for the first time in his life the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.

4. Foster Fatherly Influence We are introduced to Jethro the Midianite, Moses future father-in-law. He was a godly, wise and caring father-in-law to Moses.

He took Moses in and gave his first daughter to him in marriage as well as taught him principles of effective 47

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leadership. Theirs was a destiny shaping relationship and another life shape experience for Moses.

The Final Analysis Before Moses was even conceived God foreknew he would be the vehicle for His divine programme of deliverance for the Israelite nation from Egyptian colonization. This decolonization programme started with the patriarch Abraham 442 years before and even though Abraham never experienced this in his life time he knew God would execute His plans for his family.

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DEFINITIONS

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Chapter Four Definitions

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arenting is nurturing and training a child from a state of total dependence to a state of

absolute maturity.

Training may take different forms, occur in different contexts and situations and training experiences may differ. But the final outcome of the training of any child in God's mind must result in absolute maturity which is a heart committed to knowing Him and His commands.

God has provided the tools and patterns for implementing the training of children and we will 53

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examine these tools in this chapter.

As a parent you train using these four tools to shape your child's character and provide direction for its talents and gifts.

The tools are Teach, Model, Lead and Align: a) Teach values, principles and morals. b) Model righteousness by providing examples of integrity, character and discipline in your own life. c) Lead consistently by directing your household to honour, commit to and reverence God. d) Align commitment to God by transferring your faith to your children and establishing them in the instruction of the Lord.

According to the Harper Collins Compact Dictionary and Thesaurus, page 761, the entry “teach� lists 9 meanings namely to instruct, coach, drill, educate, guide, inform, show, train and tutor.

The Hebrew corollary for this same word has nine 54

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connotations namely: a) Alaph which means “to become familiar with, to accustom oneself to, to befriend.” b) Bin which means “to distinguish, to separate, to cause to discern or cause to perceive.” c) Zahar which means “to warn or admonish.” d) Yadah which means “to cause to know”. e) Yasar which means “to chasten, to correct”. f) Yarah which means “to direct or to point the way.” g) Lamad which means “to learn by being accustomed to.” h) Sakal which means “to give insight, to cause to be wise.” i) Shanan which means “to sharpen, to whet” The images rendered in these meanings imply that teaching is a fundamental requirement for being a 55

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parent. Parents are commissioned by the Lord to be intense, diligent, earnest and consistent in teaching their children God's Word, so that it is applied to their children's hearts and inculcated into their lives.

As teachers of God's law parents cannot be haphazard, negligent or halfhearted in the training of their children. Therefore to be an effective teacher who provides the right information at all times parents must be committed to life long learning.

The word “model” means to “pattern; or present a person worthy of emulation.” The Hebrew word is “Damah” which means “likeness” or “similitude.” The imagery showcased here points to being able to reproduce oneself in one's child through deliberate and positive behavior patterns.

This picture reinforces the principle of discipleship. It is a parental responsibility to disciple a child. In 1 Timothy 3:1 Paul outlines the leadership requirements for a church elder which involves modelling.

One of the highlights of the passage is the elder's “ability to teach and to manage his own family well, 56

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having children who respect and obey him.”

To “lead” means to guide, conduct, escort, pilot, precede or show the way. In Jewish culture when yoking a bull for farm work, two bulls would be yoked together side by side to plough the soil in preparation for planting. This is the picture for leading in this context. This is what Jesus referred to in Matthew 11:29 when he admonishes: “Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” (NIV) To align means, “to bring into agreement.” When aligning, you function in the office of a Priest in your home. In Malachi 2:6 God explains alignment means honoring Him with true devotion. God explains that “the words of a priest's lips should preserve knowledge of God and people should go to him for instruction.”

(NLT).

This means that in transmitting your faith to your children their acceptance must be with willing hearts and not forced. To be misaligned means to be disconnected. Alignment deals with the condition of 57

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your child's heart and its readiness to embrace God's word in total dependence, reverence and obedience.

Every child must come to the place and age of accountability and spiritual awareness when it becomes responsible for its choices and the decisions it takes. Parents must be intentional and strategic about sharing their faith.

It is important to align your child's heart to God's will in prayer as Hannah did in 1 Samuel 1:10 first and then, commence the transference of your faith through church services, biblical movies and cartoons and in your personal interaction with your child.

These four tools properly applied, will help you in fulfilling your commission as a steward over your household.

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BIBLICAL PURPOSEFUL PARENTING

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Chapter Five Biblical Purposeful Parenting

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urposeful parenting is deliberate, consistent and planned. It involves the active

participation in the development of your child into a mature spiritually conscious individual.

Because your child is a spirit being created in God's image and likeness, his or her spiritual awareness is a serious concern to God. In Ecclesiastes 3:11b, Solomon explains that God has “planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God's work from beginning to end.�

The Bible is filled with several parenting experiences 63

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for our learning. God graciously provides in His word pleasant and unpleasant examples of parents and children showing us the generational impact poor parenting choices have on our children and their future. Parenting is a serious responsibility and we have a duty to study God's principles and perspective to parent effectively.

God's expectations for you as a purposeful parent include:

1. Teaching your children about God (Psalm 22:30-31) God wants His legacy and the knowledge of His faithfulness spread from one generation to another.

Learning about Him is a deliberate effort of studying His Word and telling others about Him and, in this case it involves your children. Start early with them even from age one to talk about God. A child is a spirit being whose physical structure is transitory; this means as their spirit grows from learning through hearing by the Word of God, so also does their physical body change and energy levels increase. Parenting never stops; God still expects 64

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every parent to provide counsel, guidance and love to their children regardless of how old they are (1 Samuel 2:22-25).

2. Parenting is a sacred form of stewardship (Psalm 127:3-5) Children are God's best gifts to you. Every child born and properly nurtured is God's answer to man-made problems. There are many examples of children who became solutions to challenges in the world. Samson was God's answer to the plundering of the Philistines in Israel. Joseph was God's solution to a worldwide famine. Jesus was God's solution to the problem of sin and eternal death.

In modern times, we have the likes of Ben Carson, Bill Bright, Franklin Graham, Benson Idahosa, and Joseph M. Scrivem who wrote the classsic hymnal, "What a friend we have in Jesus".

3. Directing your children to keep God's testimony by righteous living (Genesis 18:16-20) You must consistently model right living and justice to your children in your dealings with people, your neighbors and their mother. This is how they learn integrity and develop their character.

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Now, fathers must remember that they are the foundation of their homes, and because they are the source and sustainer of what they produce it is a duty call to model truth and integrity at all times.

Fathers provide discipline, discipleship and love while mothers provide nurture, guidance and care. The combination of these two sides - the discipline and discipleship of a father and the nurture and care of a mother - produces character. Parents must consistently model patterns and habits of grace and truth to their children as a child learns by observation and repetition of patterns.

If the patterns are poor examples to your children they adopt the examples as the right way of doing things until God brings a corrective intervention into their lives.

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Some Biblical Examples The Influence of Culture: Lot and His Two Daughters We are first introduced to Lot, Abraham's nephew in Genesis 11:27-32 when Terah, Abraham's father is introduced to us and relocating to Haran. Lot grew up under Abraham's watch after his grandfather Terah died, but afterwards relocates to Sodom and Gomorrah when he parts from his uncle due to poor relations between their herdsmen and the great wealth both have acquired.

In Sodom, he married and had two daughters who were espoused to Sodomite men. What kind of a man and father was Lot? The Bible describes Lot as a righteous man but we can not say this much of his two daughters who had an incestous relationship with him in a cave outside the town of Zoar.

In Genesis 19:30, we see the daughters succumb to sodomy when Lot's older daughter suggested sleeping with their father to her younger sibling to procreate for the preservation of their family line. In verse 38, the Bible explains that, "both of Lot's 67

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daughters became pregnant by their father". This incest produced the Moabite and Ammonite nations which resisted the Israelites as they matched through the desert.

This was the consequence of bad parenting on the part of Lot. We know this even from the disobedience of his wife to the instructions of the Angels when she turned into a pillar of salt as a result.

Lot may have been righteous and godly, but he failed with his daughters having a knowledge of and commitment to God as the decision to have access to him while he was asleep was informed by the culture of Sodom and Gomorrah, a city that was rife with the practice of sexual immorality and homosexuality.

The Bible does not tell us much about his daughters other than their brief conversation and agreement in Genesis 19:31 which reveals the mindset of these women as very corrupt. Although these women were produced by a righteous man, they did not imbibe his righteous discipline but the culture of a very morally bankrupt city.

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The Legacy of a Father: Abraham and Isaac Isaac was a promised child from God to Abraham. We first learn of the quality of Isaac's heart and character when he accompanied his father to a mountain in Moriah to offer a sacrifice. Genesis 22: 6 reveals how submissive Isaac was to his father's authority and in Genesis 24:62 we see the depth of commitment Abraham's son had to God; "Now Isaac had come from Beer Lahai Roi for he was living in the Negev. He went out one evening to meditate,‌" (NIV) Although he was the son of a very wealthy, and highly connected father, Isaac was a spiritual man. He loved God and understood His principles.We see in Genesis 25:21, "Isaac prayed to the Lord on behalf of his wife because she was childless and the Lord answered his prayer." He was a man of prayer.

When God instructed him to remain in Gerar he heeded the instruction and remained there and prospered so that King Abimelech pleaded with him to move away from him and his people, because he had 69

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become too powerful for them (Genesis 26:12-16).

Isaac became what he was committed to because he followed after his father's God and walked in his father's ways.

Moments: Jacob's Daughter Dinah Dinah! The name surely rings a bell. Genesis 34: 1 makes a formal introduction to the lovely but Israelite girl who eagerly wanted to identify with the girls of Shechem, a pagan city where her father Jacob had purchased a piece of land to build and settle his family camp.

She was raped by a dignity of the land, Prince Shechem, son of Hamor and who later makes claims of great affection and love for her. Talk about tasting the pie before making a purchase!

The Bible records Dinah's unfortunate experience and her rapist lover thus in Genesis 34:3: "But his soul longed for and clung to Dinah daughter of Jacob, and he loved the girl and spoke to her young heart's wishes." (Amplified) 70

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Dinah had left home unattended and probably didn't inform her mother Leah nor her father of her intentions to socialize with the neighbourhood pagan girls.

That decision cost her her dignity as a woman, a shortlived marriage as her rapist husband died at the hands of her elder brothers, Simeon and Levi and the destruction of a whole town.

Youth is a great experience but youthful exuberance comes at a cost with dire consequences. Shechem's dishonourable action of raping a girl cost him and his kinsmen their very lives and the sacking of a whole city in one night.

Ecclesiastis 12:1 warns us to: Remember (earnestly) also your Creator (that you are not, but His property now) in the days of your youth, before the evil days come or the years draw near when you will say (of physical pleasures), I have no enjoyment in them. (AMP)

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PARENTING TOUCH POINTS

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Chapter Six Parenting Touch Points

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hese are the specific moments you spend with your children and family during bonding. The

points are the breakfast table, the family altar and your personal closet. There are many other touch points but we will focus on these three because these deal with daily family interaction.

Other touch points may be birthday parties, graduation ceremonies, trips to the zoo or to paternal and maternal villages, exercise moments with your children and even a special dinner date with your teenage daughter or son.

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Whatever touch point moment you choose ensure your interaction with your child is involved, eager and sincere and not a perfunctory gesture.

1. The Breakfast/Dinner Table This is where you share your values and principles with your family.

The table is a place of fellowship, communion and sharing moments. Bond with your children at the food table. It is the place of nurturing and discipleship as well as relationship building. It is the place to pour value and significance into the lives and hearts of your children. Jesus gave the example of how the meal time should be like in the experience of the last supper with his disciples in Luke 22:14.

2. The Family Altar This is where you share about your faith and your belief in God. It is where you pray with your family and share testimonies of God's faithfulness. And this is how your children learn about the Ten Commandments (Mitzvah) and other Bible stories. In Deuteronomy 11:19-21, Moses explains how the family altar 78

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experience should be used as an opportunity to teach God's word to your children.

3. Your Personal Closet Your personal closet is the place of taking time to bond with your child as he or she transits from an adolescent to a young adult. In the closet you share your friendship with your children. Here you discover them as they discover you. It is also symbolic of your personal altar with God. Your personal closet is an environment; it is an atmosphere of worship, a garden of friendship and trust. It is a place created in your home for reflection and assessment of your daily experiences. It is also about building rapport with your children as they transition from one age grade to another.

You are required to keep learning about, studying and interacting with your children in appropriate language and behavior consistent with each age grade. This is what Job had in Job 1:4-5.

There are age milestones you must prepare for as you watch your children mature. Age Eleven years is a perfect time to take your daughter on a father and 79

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daughter date. Talk to her about her developing body and her emotional development while promising her of your commitment to be there for her to listen to her questions and provide the right answers she needs to make wise decisions. Tell her you trust her to always make the right decisions.

If it is a boy take him camping and present him with a Bible specially customized for him. Tell him you are aware of his developing body and the fact that he may be experiencing wet dreams and you want to help him understand his sexuality.

Show him from your own experience that you have walked this path before and you understand that he has many questions to ask. Assure him that you understand and will be waiting for him to ask his questions. Remind him of your commiment to him as his father and show him examples of biblical characters who were men and who succeeded with their lives.

The age milestones are varied and many but you must make up your mind to make these milestones experiences your children will never forget. Mothers must teach their sons how to relate with and love a 80

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woman and fathers must show their daughters how to relate with and respect a man.

A mother understands the workings of a young lady's heart being once young and understands her expectations in a committed relationship. The same applies to a father too. The roles can also be reversed as well; both parents must be willing to collaborate and help their children deal with every age milestone they experience.

Singlehood is a good time to prepare for fatherhood and motherhood and parenting. It is a season of preparation and must be taken seriously to research and learn continually before the lifelong commitment of marriage and love comes.

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Case Studies on Parenting Touchpoints The cases you are about to read are universal examples of the daily struggles most of us have as parents. Although the cases have been presented from a very cultural perspective, they are realistic accounts.

Please note that the characters are fictitious and do not refer to anyone living, but only fulfill the purpose of the author in teaching biblical principles.

There are questions after each case study which we hope you will consider answering. The questions are meant to stimulate interaction with your spouse for meaningful learning.

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Case 1: Growing Pains It had been a very long day at work. Driving all the way from Victoria Island to Ibeju Lekki was always a chore.

This distance was about 25 miles on a congested road network of slow moving, and sometimes, stationary traffic. He had to deal with this reality on a daily basis.

Kelechi sighed as he heaved himself out of his Toyota Corolla vehicle. He had had a fight that morning with his wife about their eleven year old daughter. Ada had grown into a beautiful, well mannered girl and was already talking to her mother about boys. Just last week she had reported to her mother about how a boy in church had asked her to be his girlfriend. Although she was eleven years old, Ada looked fifteen and had the mindset of a seventeen year old.

Jumoke, Kelechi's wife was shocked. Eleven and being already pressured into dating? "What is the world coming to?" she thought as she wondered how she would help her only daughter understand it was not time yet for such commitments. She was also worried about Kelechi's non-chalant attitude anytime she 83

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brought up the issue of when they could broach the subject of sex education with Ada. He would just shrug it off and say, "She is still too young and you are her mother. You should tell her. Besides I am too busy."

Kelechi looked up again at the balcony of his apartment worried about getting into another fight with his wife. "Thank God", he thought,"Tomorrow is Saturday. I will get to unwind and probably resolve this issue with Jumoke." As he punched the bell to his door entrance he knew he had to man up and address the issues of grooming Ada into a respectable young woman. He knew he could not afford for her to loose her virtue not with the lofty plans he had for her education and future. He knew he needed to find a solution and fast.

Jumoke opened the door and stepped aside for him to come in. "Welcome", she said quietly. "Your food is in the microwave. I just heat it again and it is your favourite." "Ok", he replied. "Jumoke, we will talk with Ada tomorrow so make plans for us to go on a picnic.

You can choose the place and the time. I promise this time, I will not run off to the office. But you will be patient with me as I am new at this and I know I need help." Jumoke looked at the tired frame of her husband 84

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for a while wondering if Kelechi would keep his word this time.

She knew he was in denial and was uncertain of what to do about their daughter's new interest. But she wondered why he was not researching and even learning from their mentors, the Kwesis, about how to handle Ada's changing needs. The Kwesis were a lovely couple who had four grown daughters and were missionaries from Ghana.

They had lived in Nigeria for over a decade and had a flourishing ministry in Ibeju. Two of their daughters were married while the other two were in college. She prayed they would make it right this time with their daughter, Ada.

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Questions What are the issues with Kelechi's family?

What would you do if you were Ada's parent?

What parenting touchpoint would you use?

Is Kelechi in denial of his daughter's changing needs?

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Case 2: Mummy, I want a baby brother!

Temi watched her five year old daughter suck her thumb with relish amused by the evident pleasure Tosin expressed having the index finger in her mouth.

"Tosin, how many times have I told you a princess does not suck her finger! Take that thumb out of your mouth right now, " she said calmly. Tosin stared at her mother smirking and smiling and walked toward the big TV set in front of the settee where she was sitting. " Mummy", she said firmly and resolutely, "I like to suck my thumb. It is sweet," and then bust out with a hearty laugh.

Temi smiled but pretended to be upset and sat up to smack her daughter. The words that came out of Tosin's mouth next stopped her in her tracks.

"Mummy, I want a baby brother!" "What did you just say?", Temi asked her mouth hanging open. "Mummy, I want you to be pregnant. I want a baby brother!," Tosin repeated. "But, isn't your sister, Folake, nice to you. I thought you liked playing with her," Temi asked trying to figure out where her daughter was heading with her 86

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sudden outburst.

Folake was Temi's first child. She was nine years old and was often by herself reading her picture dictionary or doing her homework. She didn't really like cartoons and was always with a story or colouring book. Occasionally, she would play with her little sister but she always noticed Tosin did not really like their play time together. She also noticed her baby sister staring at pregnant women whenever they were being driven to school and wondered what was going on in her sister's little mind. "Mummy", said Tosin cutting into her thoughts abruptly. "Hmmmmm, Tosin, where is Folake?" "Mummy she is reading. Mummy how do women get pregnant?" Temi leaped off her seat seemingly poised to pounce on her daughter.

"Who is teaching you these things in school?" an exasperated Temi asked. Tosin smiled mischievously and said, "I want to know how mum. My science teacher taught us about family today and she said a family is made up of children and parents. I don't have a brother. I want one!" she sulked.

"Mummy, " Folake interrupted, "I need help with my home work." " We will talk about this later, ok? I will 87

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tell you everything you need to know about how I make babies." Tosin looked at her bewildered, wondering how on earth she could make babies. Her friends had brothers and she also wanted hers.

Anytime at the playground at school when her friends, Kubirat and Bimpe came out for break time they always complained about what their brothers did to them. "I just sit there and have nothing to say while they just whine and make me feel miserable, " she mused quietly.

Temi watched her saunter away to the balcony while she tried to help Folake with her homework. "What are these teachers teaching these days?" she wondered. "A five year old wants to know how I get pregnant and how do I begin to explain that to her?

This is too much for me. I will call her father now", she nodded as she reached for her phone.

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Questions Why is Temi shocked at her daughter's request?

How would you explain the pregnancy concept to Tosin if you were her mother?

What parenting touch point would you use to teach Tosin?

Is the school curriculum a new challenge for parents?

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LEARNING POINTS & PRINCIPLES In our study of parenting in this book, we have learnt about the following principles.

1. God is trans-generational. When God looks at a man he sees four (4) successive generations. This is potential and God's intentional investment of solutions to earthly problems.

2. The male is God's seed and the family is God's training center. The male becomes a source and sustainer when he fathers a child and teaches it principles of righteousness and wisdom.

3. When you are aligned with God, He blesses your home, your spouse and your children and then, your community. God's blessings are for the greater good of unborn generations.

4. As you revere Him He reveals to you His purpose for your children.

5. You must always take advantage of the parenting 89

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touch points of the breakfast table, the family altar and your personal closet. These touch points are the nurturing environments for bonding with your child.

6. Purposeful parenting is building your child into maturity. Maturity is beyond physical, emotional and mental maturity. Holistic maturity is the spiritual alignment of your child's heart to God and His testimony.

7. There are four things you must do as a purposeful parent. You must Teach, Model, Lead and Align your child continually.

8. You must create a vision for your family. Vision provides direction, clarity and purpose for your family.

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SECTION 2 THEME PARENTING ACTIVITY

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Theme Parenting Activity This section provides ideas for helpful parenting practice and chores. These activities are designed as suggestions and questionnaires that you will be required to respond to and also, to adopt and adapt for your home.

You will be required to practice at home with your children and spouse. Please take these parenting activity questionnaires seriously.

It is my prayer and hope that you will find this section very engaging, highly enlightening and a rewarding experience. As a follow up on the book, I will appreciate email feedback on how this book has helped you and your family. Send your feedback emails to lifeparentingacademy@gmail.com. Your feedback and/or questions help in my research on parenting biblically. In addition, visit our website www.lifeparentingacademy.com to learn more about my blog articles and other helpful resources.

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Please note that this book is a customized manual for L.I.F.E Parenting Academy seminar participants and for your personal use. There is a section of this book which provides for the documentation of your personal thoughts, ideas and prayers on specific concerns regarding your child. Please utilize all sections as this book has been designed to be very interactive. Should you be in a seminar environment, you will find our bookstand with very helpful materials for your reading pleasure and use. Please take advantage of these resources by making a purchase.

This book's teaching falls under our Spiritual Parenting curriculum hence our emphasis on biblical principles. Please note that we believe that the Bible is the final authority on all of life's issues and challenges.

It is important to note that these practice theme parenting activities are not exclusively for married couples. Churches can adopt these as exercises for singles during counselling sessions or seminars.

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Theme Parenting Activity 1:

Engage and Apply Please answer these questions sincerely. These are meant to engage your heart to help you understand your perspective on purposeful parenting.

1. Reviewing your experience as a parent overtime how much of your parents' parenting style have you manifested in your relationship with your children?

2. What aspects of your parenting style do you want to change? List three aspects of this.

3. On a scale of 1-10 rate your current parenting skills.

Would you describe yourself as a good parent, average parent, growing parent or do you need to learn and know more about parenting effectively?

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Practice Home Activity Ask your child(ren) to describe your parenting style. Ask them to tell you about five parenting behaviours they like and dislike about your parenting. Use this feedback to reflect on changes you need to make.

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A child's gift points to the solutions he/she was designed to provide the earth.

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Theme Parenting Activity 2:

Parenting Tools Review the four tools of parenting and review your experience as a parent or caregiver.

TEACH 1. How do you teach values, principles and morals?

MODEL 2. How have you modelled integrity to your child?

Provide a unique example of an experience you have had with your child demonstrating this.

LEAD 3. Do you have prayer times together with your children daily? Do they know about and understand your faith?

ALIGN 4. In what ways do you transfer your faith to your children? List out your methods.

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God's original intention is to have an earthly family that perpetuates His kingdom, culture and government.

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Theme Parenting Activity 3:

Planning Draw up a 2 week plan that you will implement with your child daily. Your spouse or your house fellowship pastor or any trusted friend can be your accountability partner. You may decide to include a fellow parent you are close to as your accountability peer.

1. List three (3) values you will reinforce on and teach your child in the next two weeks. The value could be honesty, purity or kindness for example.

2. Model these values deliberately, consciously and consistently before your child in the next two weeks, choose your showcase environments carefully to demonstrate this. The showcase environment could be your study, your weekend exercise routine, or while you are making a transaction at the Mall.

3. Ask God to show you creative ways to teach, model, lead and align your child.

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We guide the heart of our children by deliberate and involved parenting.

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Theme Parenting Activity 4:

Casting a Vision Please find below a theme parenting activity for you and your spouse to do.

PSALM 128:3-7 Your wife will bear children as a vine bears grapes.

Your household lush as a vineyard.

The children around table.

As fresh and promising as young olive shoots.

Stand in awe of God's yes.

Oh how he blesses the one who fears God! Enjoy the good life in Jerusalem.

Every day of your life. And enjoy grandchildren Parent Vision Board To create a vision for you and your spouse to change, grow or experience new things in the coming year, not only as parents, but also as a couple and as individuals.

Activity Instructions Set aside some time with your spouse to create a vision board. First, write a list of your dreams, goals and 107

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desires for the year. Next, flip through magazines or search the internet, and print or cut out pictures, words and sayings that symbolize your parenting vision, partner vision and individual vision. Glue these items onto your board and decorate as desired.

Materials Large poster board Magazines/photos Scissors Coloured pens Glue stick (s) Outcome This activity encourages communication between spouses, and allows you to generate discussions of your dreams for your family and each other. As a couple, you can see where your dreams lie and brainstorm ways to co-create your desires. Place the final product in an area where you both can view it and derive inspiration.

When you have a clear idea of the goals for your life, you can progress as a connected unit.

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Parents are the first models of faith and righteousness a child can see.

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Theme Parenting Activity 5:

Weekly Plan Draw up a two (2) week plan that you will implement with your child daily. Your spouse or your pastor can be your accountability partner.

Practice Home Activity 1. List out three (3) values you will reinforce and teach your child in the next two weeks. Draw up a schedule and discuss with your partner your strategy to implement the programme collectively with your child.

2. Let us assume you would like to teach and reinforce accountability. Your showcase environment will be the child's room and the habit you want to teach to demonstrate accountability as value. Please follow the instructions below.

First, you will tell your child that he or she needs to say his or her prayers and afterwards make his or her bed.

To demonstrate your instruction you show how this 111

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should be done. Make this a pattern by repeating the routine for the next five (5) days. Repetition informs habits.

Inspect your child's diligence in doing your instruction. Your child becomes what you inspect, monitor, and correct.

Choose your showcase environments carefully in teaching or demonstrating any habit or value you need to teach on.

Ask God to show you creative ways to teach, model, lead and align your child.

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As parents we introduce order by using routines.

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Theme Parenting Activity 6:

Soul Connection We discussed about bonding with your child in Parenting Touch points. Having a soul connection with your child is very key to achieving bonding. During a parenting touch point experience your child reveals your limitations, short comings as well as strengths as a parent.

It is also a window of opportunity for you to understand the condition of your child's heart, his or her challenges and limitations and the kind of dreams he or she is nursing within.

Initiating conversations with your child whether as a four year or 12 year old activates several benefits which include the following: a) Intimacy. b) Relationship c) Understanding This must be a life long practice. This activity is a 115

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simple question and which requires a sincere evaluation of your relationship with your child. The objective is to help you find out what your child knows about you, and if this growing knowledge is a positive or negative experience for him or her. The ultimate goal is that both of you develop a relationship that is life long, intimate and deep.

Practice Home Activity Ask your child to tell you what he or she knows about you. Ask your child what he or she dislikes about your parenting style. Ask your child these questions during a walk, or after you have finished with her homework or during a picnic. The place and timing is your call.

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The heart is the starting point for God and every parent must focus on it.

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Milestone Practice Activities with your Children I have provided a simple task to do with your child and your partner. I call this a milestone practice experience. The following below is a genealogy or family tree milestone practice you should do with your children.

1. Buy some coloured cardboard paper, selfie pictures of your family and some marker pens and a ruler.

2. Tell your spouse you want to teach your children about family trees.

3. Gather round the table and point to the materials you will use for milestone activity.

4. Tell your children what a family tree is and means.

Proceed to show them this by drawing the family tree yourself. Place the selfie pictures in the boxes on your cardboard paper and label these with respective names.

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Hang the family tree you have drawn with a tape or a clip to a background. Hand smaller card board sheets to your children and ask them to draw theirs.

Supervise their drawings and ask them to explain what they have drawn and be their cheerleader.

This fun milestone practice activity builds confidence in your children and helps you to bond with them.

They will learn about your family tree or genealogy and history. It could also be used for a school project.

Churches can use this milestone practice to teach presentation skills to children.

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Learning Points Congratulations! You have successfully completed the Practice Home Activities. You have learnt a lot about your child's heart and yourself. Now, you will need to outline your learning points from this experience to serve as a constant reminder of how much you need to continue growing and learning.

What are your learning points from this experience?

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L.I.F.E Parenting Academy L.I.F.E Parenting Academy is a parenting skills training school which equips you with spiritual resources and modern day tools to nurture and groom your child into a fully developed and spiritually conscious individual who fulfills his or her true potential as a responsible spiritual channel of generational blessings to humanity. Our classes, seminars and workshops are practical and life development focused. We teach you to draw from within God's vision for your family and to use timeless, proven principles of God's word to help you with your stewardship as a parent.

We seek to connect parents to practical knowledge, skills, tools and spiritual principles of godly parenting in today's world and to raise godly families while preparing parents and their children as change agents in a changing world. This fulfills God's mandate to have godly seed in each generation. We believe it is the duty of every parent to teach, model and mold their 122

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children. The role of the teacher and caregiver is to provide instruction and behavior modification; the role of the parent is to impart godly principles and impact the child's heart.

Our curriculum covers three specific areas namely Spiritual Parenting, Clinical Parenting and Sociological Parenting. We believe that parenting is heart work; the focus of every parent should nest on a child's heart as all issues of life proceed from the heart.

The Bible cautions us to guide the heart with all diligence for this singular reason. Behavioral modification which uses reward and punishment to drive good behavior is good, but it is limited as it does not transform the heart to change a child's attitude and response to discipline and godly guidance.

We offer a bouquet of learning opportunities customized to address the specific needs of categories of parents whether they are single, single parents, about to wed parents, parents preparing for a child, young parents and experienced parents. We help you create nurturing environments through our practical application of God's principles in our life application seminars and workshops. We offer the following learning experiences: 123

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· Parenting Workshops · Single Parenting Seminars · Young Couples Seminars · Parenting Boot Camp · Counselling sessions · Parenting Skills and tools L e a r n m o re a b o u t u s o n o u r we b s i te a t www.lifeparentingacademy.com.

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Helpful Resources The links listed here are parenting or family based websites that provide very helpful materials and resources which you can use for further study, find helpful literature and fun activities to do with your children. Use these resources to help you in developing strategies to raise your child successfully into maturity.

Remember your child is a treasure house and a solution from God to man-made problems. And you must consider such a gift an investment worth spending time with daily. Welcome to the most rewarding journey God has ever given man: the beautiful life of parenting.

1. www.famtime.com 2. www.biblicalparentinguniversity.com 3. www.raisingkingdomkids.com 4. www.cyh.com 5. www.pbs.org

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Citations and References Bible References New International Version Bible Good News Translation Bible New Living Translation Bible The Amplified Bible Online Research Roy B. Zuck, Hebrew Words for “Teach”, Bibliotheca Sacra 121 (1964): 228-235 by Dallas Theological Seminary Wikipedia

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ENDORSEMENTS

reat book Samson has written. I like the foundation on the Scriptures and the priority of the family as God’s tool for shaping children and passing on faith to them. I like the way he looked for etymology of words in the original languages.

I especially like the way he made it practical, giving parents specific things to do with their kids and ways to work with them. I also liked the home activities he provides for people at the back. Thank you for including our biblicalparentinguniversity.com site in additional resources.

Good job.

Dr Scott Turansky National Center for Biblical Parenting USA

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he quality of parenting you give to your children, influences everything in their lives. It is the foundation of their future.

Education cannot erase the impact of bad parenting in a child. It can be likened to applying bandage on an internal injury! There is no room for assumptions in parenting. In this book, Samson Iyayi offers you a timeless tool for Godly parenting. He is a rare "parenting blacksmith" of this generation.

Pastor Ose Imiemohon The Presiding Pastor; The Brook church Calabar, Nigeria

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Meet the Author

amson Iyayi is a pastor, an accomplished HR professional, management trainer, motivational speaker and writer. He has been involved with several family based initiatives in a network of churches where he served as coordinator for several couples fellowships for over a decade. He has a very strong passion for the family ministry and is currently the Nigerian representative of the 4/14 Window Family Leadership Challenge and the National Center for Biblical Parenting in USA. Samson believes in the supernatural power of God and manifests God's presence in his ministry and seminars. He is the founder of the L.I.F.E Parenting Academy based in Lagos, Nigeria. He is married to Chioma and they have three daughters.