Pano perspective

25 out of 25 Panorama staff members agree

Before a stranger becomes a friend, an enemy, partner or anything else, there needs to be an introduction, most of the time, starting off with “Hi, my name is ___.” The act of simply stating your name creates a connection between you and the former stranger, opening the door to a new relationship. Given the power to get one’s attention, to address someone in a personal manner and to form a sense of identification, the way a name is pronounced is more than just a common courtesy.

The dread of hearing repeated mispronunciations is no better understood than in the context of roll call on the first day. It takes the expected course: the flow of familiar names interrupted by an awkward pause, the slow sounding out of the name, then finally, the butchered pronunciation. However, it’s not the pronunciation that brings forth anxiety, but the lack of effort to do better. Others substitute the name with generic pronouns such as “you,” “she,” “him” or “they” to avoid the discomfort of actually attempting the pronunciations.

Saying a name correctly is a sign of not only respect, but decency as a human, making it critical that everyone makes the effort to do so. Once an introduction is made, ask them how to pronounce their name and repeat it. It’s not just about repeating the name until you get it right, but showing that you want to learn how to say their name, and that saying their name correctly is not an inconvenience to you, because it shouldn’t be. Similarly, if you see someone mispronouncing another person’s name, correct them. Pronunciations go uncorrected because mispronunciations become accepted. Don’t let others believe that it’s okay if their name is said incorrectly because they’re “used to it.”

The same carelessness can be attributed to oneself as well. By the fourth or fifth attempt, it’s easy enough to give up and to allow them to call you by their closest attempt as to not make them feel awkward, but their discomfort should not cloud the fact that names deserve to be said correctly. Some, rather than going by an incorrect pronunciation, go by another name completely simply to not deal with an awkward situation. This approach, however, does nothing to solve the problem, but only perpetuates the idea that people with unfamiliar names must accommodate for other people’s convenience. Even if the situation seems unimportant, such as giving a name for a Starbucks order, give the name that you go by.

In order to make everyone in the Ladue community feel accepted, we must pronounce names correctly. For those with unfamiliar names, the same effort must be made in order to normalize a culture in which they are not seen as a hassle.