BEING BOLD IN LIFE You Are Stronger Than You Think

Musician, singer, podcaster and tutor person. It is me trying to find a way to not let fear control me.

Sheyi Martin-Allens, Class of 2006, has been returning to LEH every year since we launched our Inclusion and Diversity initiative in the wake of George Floyd’s death. She talks to L5 pupils during Life Advice lessons to share her experiences of racism and to open up the discussion to the whole class.

“I am 34 years old now and I live with my husband Simon and daughter Isabella who is four years old. My husband and I run a tutoring company, but my husband is also a writer, and I am a singer.

When I joined the Junior School, I was the only black child in the whole of LEH, apart from a couple of people in the Sixth Form. My face was used repeatedly in photos for the school prospectus, magazines, website, and videos.

My experience at LEH was super, super positive, but I suppose I started to be aware of being treated a bit differently at times. It meant I got away with a lot –no teacher questioned my coloured hair braids or earrings, but at the same time it was difficult being the only black kid out of 800 people.

I think there were some rather clichéd expectations – for example that I’d be good at certain things like sport, singing and dancing. In fact, I was quite good, but it obviously had nothing to do with the colour of my skin! But being at LEH definitely gave me a boldness to go for anything I wanted to. It’s a school that makes you believe that there should be no limit to your achievements.

One of my most extreme experiences of racism was when we visited South Africa when I was seven. I was crossing the road with my Mum when a woman drove her car directly at us, narrowly missing. When we asked her why she did it, she just said: “It’s only a black child so it makes no difference to me”. I remember being so shocked that a person was perfectly willing to mow me down because of my race.

At the other end of the racism spectrum are micro-aggressions like people touching your hair without permission or talking over you. They might not sound like much, but if this is your experience of daily life, it becomes a big deal.

And it made me very determined to go to the most cosmopolitan, multicultural university I could find and that really boosted my confidence. My philosophy is to go with your gut instinct. It’s normally always right.

Unfortunately, adversity is a part of life, and you can always guarantee it will happen. BUT it’s the way that you deal with it that matters. As someone trying to navigate their way through the music industry (and I don’t think I have navigated it properly) I’ve faced numerous disappointments. However, singing is what I love to do, so I don’t really have any choice but to pick myself up and go again!

One of the worst aspects of fear is that it can be paralysing; it stops you from doing anything. But I found that writing this song was a start in the process of overcoming my fears and not letting them control me.

Being honest about your fears comes with a certain amount of vulnerability which can be frightening. During the lockdown we all had more time to reflect on things and it made me confront a whole new set of fears such as worrying about passing the virus on to others and how best to protect my child.

The whole BLM movement brutally thrust some of my oldest fears into my consciousness again. I found myself asking will the colour of my skin forever be seen as a something to fear and hate? Stronger was my battle cry; my way of saying no – it doesn’t have to be like this. It was my way of saying that my fears do not own me.

Writing music has given me a voice and the chance to express myself. It’s really important to me that my music has a story and a message. If I’ve told that story well, it allows me to really connect with people.

During the pandemic I wrote a song called Stronger with my pianist Paul March. It is my conversation with fear and what I would say to it if it were a

See Sheyi’s Instagram page for more information about her new music: www.instagram.com/sheyimartinsallen

I am always inspired by the writer and campaigner Maya Angelou, who said: ‘Having courage does not mean that we are unafraid. Having courage and showing courage mean we face our fears. We are able to say, ‘I have fallen, but I will get up.’

So, what’s next for me? I’ll be focusing on expanding our business and making more records. I have more songs to write and more stories to tell. I can’t wait!”

See what L5 pupils made of Sheyi’s Life Advice lesson on page 29.