Calladita te ves más bonita Tackling Sexism and Machismo

by Andrea Alvarez

Visual by Nancy Romo

Muchachitas decentes; our mamás, abuelas, and tías continuously stressed the importance of being honorable young women, yet what exactly makes one an exemplary Latina? According to the aged muchachita decente philosophy, a decent young woman is reserved, modest, and obedient. The term acts as the blueprint for the perfect wife and mother, characterized by her ability to care for and serve her family. As my female relatives compare their experiences to mine, saying things like “a tu edad yo ya sabía cocinar,” I recount how times have changed, and I am privileged to have grown up under different circumstances. However, have these old-fashioned beliefs actually left our communities? Notwithstanding the generations of change and progress in combating gender inequality, the muchachita decente model continues to impose patriarchal norms on women.

Accordingly, expectations of how women should behave, speak, dress, and think have prevailed. While Latinas are encouraged to pursue higher education and establish successful careers on their own, we are still expected to get married and form a family upon completing these achievements, if not concurrently so. This reinforces the idea that women are only accomplished when they have a man by their side and link their value to motherhood.

Conversely, when Latinas deviate from the expected norms, we are labeled rebellious and shamed for not adhering to the conventional standards put forth by the patriarchy. Attempts to modify our image and behaviors are disguised as a form of protection from the dangers the outside world presents. As a result, a woman’s autonomy is often repressed for their own “protection” while the sexism within our culture remains unaddressed.

Correspondingly, women are also expected to act and appear modest, otherwise they are blamed for the sexualization of their bodies. The Madonna-Whore dichotomy juxtaposes the constructed image of a “good” and “bad” woman. The former wears modest clothes and is pure, reserved and good-natured—a woman fit for marriage. However, the latter is promiscuous, morally reprehensible and unchaste—a woman deemed ill-suited to handle the responsibilities of a mother and wife. This complex is often used to vilify women who do not behave as society deems they should.

For instance, figures such as La Malinche—an Indigenous woman who was sold to Hernán Cortés as a translator and contributed to the fall of the Aztec Empire—are often mischaracterized. Although she did turn her back on her people, the context which informed her actions is rarely weighed. La Malinche was sold into slavery by her mother and villainized for her supposed affair with Cortés despite his having purchased and abused her. She is blamed for the abuse she endured and disparaged as a result. Moreover, the cultural and social construct of sexuality within the Latinx community has resulted in the hypersexualization of Latinas, allowing their bodies and virginity to serve as indicators of their worth. In fact, the traditional Quinceañera celebration originated as a cultural initiation into “womanhood,” signifying 15year old girls were of age to become wives and mothers. Nevertheless, even as our Quinceañera celebrations have evolved and deviated from

their original purpose, young women are still being initiated into a culture where their value is dependent on their sexual repression; purity and submissiveness are encouraged in place of sexual liberty.

Ultimately, Latinas will gain collective liberation when our communities unlearn these ideologies and break the generational cycles of sexism and misogyny. We must continue to empower our young girls to raise their voices and remind them that no necesitas callar para ser bonita.

“As a result, a woman’s autonomy is often repressed for their own ‘protection’ while the sexism within our culture remains unaddressed.”