There's No Place Like Home by Lagniappe Magazine

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June 20, 2013

LAGNIAPPE

June 20, 2013

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LAGNIAPPE MAGAZINE • JUNE 20, 2013 • VOLUME 31 NUMBER 12

44 56 HURRICANE PREP • Lagniappe gives you more guidelines for ways to respond if the big one strikes. 24 NEW URBANISM, LAKE AREA STYLE • Can you bring the small town into the suburbs? Some Lake Area developers are betting you can. Lagniappe focuses on the new Morganfield and Walnut Grove developments. Other real estate topics include the big trend toward microhouses and the question of when it makes sense to relocate a business. 44 SOUTH LOUISIANA CULTURE / NEWCOMER'S GUIDE • One of the state’s leading folklorists gives you the lowdown on the culture of Coastal Louisiana. Plus, our Newcomers’ Guide provides new residents with the facts and figures they’ll need to navigate the area. 60 FISHING RODEO • The 75th annual Southwest Louisiana Fishing Club's 4th of July Fishing Rodeo is right around the corner. Get all the details here.

24 Lindsey Janies Photography

Lagniappe Magazine Serving SWLA Since 1983 Publishers Bob Hartnett Greg Pavlovich Editor Brad Goins Associate Editor Karla Wall Assistant Laura Landry Layout & Design Mike Manis Advertising Sales Tanya Alsobrook Patty Hebert Chester Rogers Classified Manager Kenny Pierce Distribution Manager Edward Frazer Contributing Writers Jeremy Alford Dr. Dale Archer Duane Bergeron Angie Dilmore Todd Elliott Rocke Fournet Arthur Hebert John Maginnis Nola Mae Ross Rick Sarro Chuck Shepherd Vic Wukovits Office Phone (337) 433-8502 Office Fax (337) 433-8964 Mailing Address PO Box 3292 Lake Charles, LA 70602 Shipping Address 2906 Deaton Street Lake Charles, LA 70601 Editorial e-mail edit@thelanyap.com Advertising e-mail ads@thelanyap.com Classified e-mail class@thelanyap.com Lagniappe Magazine is published the first and third Thursday of each month. Manuscripts, photographs, comments and queries are invited. Return postage must accompany all materials submitted if return is requested. Publisher assumes no responsibility for unsolicited materials. Opinions presented by the columnists in this publication do not necessarily express the views ofLagniappe Magazine.

74 A NICE RUN • Sports guru Rick Sarro explains why the Swashbucklers weren’t able to buckle the swash with enough fans in the Lake Area.

departments 6 10 12 14 17

Up Front Pierre Sez Out & About Tech Bytes LA Politics

20 22 66 68 69

Weird News Taking Charge File 13 Band Schedule What's Happening

72 73 74 76

Reel Talk Mounted Memories Sarro On Sports Classified

June 20, 2013

LAGNIAPPE

front Will Not Work For Budgets

Keep An Eye On Brainiacs

You know something’s wrong when the legislative session is a yawner. There wasn’t even much hoopla about the failure of Gov. Bobby Jindal’s budget to launch. Jindal told the legislators, “You guys fix it,” and went off to do whatever he does. So what did happen in the session? Well, you know how the legislators have been telling us for years that if you raise teachers’ salaries even a penny the sky will fall and we’ll all be crushed to death? So what do they do this session? They raise the salaries for judges, assessors, sheriffs and clerks of court. What the hell? Some senators must have figured that even Louisianans might be able to detect the double standard in that, so they passed along a one time bonus for teachers. I’m sure that bonus will make teachers forget about everything that’s been done to them in the last five years. (Jindal said he’d like to make this teacher bonus permanent. Now he tells us! I just don’t see how we can keep spending more money on stuff without raising any taxes on anybody. But I’ve got to admit I haven’t been elected governor anytime recently.) Legislative watchdog C.B. Forgotston had some fun with this story. In his blog he wrote: “All of the funding for the [judges’] raises will come [from] extra funds paid by the taxpayers of Louisiana that could have been used for other state purposes. “Even before this raise, the Louisiana judges were paid higher than the national average for judges. Without the raises, apparently, our judges would abandon their benches in droves to run for judge in Texas.” As always, the big story was how the Legislature wanted to fix the budget gap. The fiscal hawks didn’t want to use one-time monies, but they didn’t want to raise taxes either. So where was the money coming from? Spending cuts? In the Louisiana Legislature? Yeah, right. The only thing they cut is teacher’s salaries and benefits, and teachers in Louisiana are now working pro bono, so that was out. So where was the money coming from? Since it wasn’t coming from one-time funds or tax increases, I figured it must be coming from me. I don’t know how to convey the information to the Legislature, but I don’t have the money. I’m being honest; I just don’t have it. I’m exactly $1.2 billion short. I’m going to have to put my foot down. I refuse to hold a cardboard sign that says Will Work For Budget Fix.

There’s always one legislative proponent of creationism in Louisiana schools whose comments in the session become the stuff of stand-up comedy acts the world over. This year, it was a state Sen. Elbert Guillory, who feared that if creationism wasn’t taught in Louisiana that Louisiana teachers wouldn’t be able to instruct students about his encounters with a witch doctor. That’s what he said — in front of a microphone and with the whole Senate watching. The phrase “the witch doctor curriculum In Louisiana” spread through the Internet like … well, like a curse. I don’t see why teachers couldn’t teach a story about a witch doctor. School goes on forever. Those poor youths sit in desks from before 8 am until 2:30 or 3 pm every day. It’s as bad as a job. I’m sure teachers would be happy to tell a story about a witch doctor or anything else to pass the time. Now if the senator wants the teachers to talk about whatever the witch doctor did as if it were solid science, he might encounter some problems there. These problems would come from the science teacher types who still believe that dinosaurs lived millions of years ago. They’re always talking about the scientific method — like that’s a thing. I think the Legislature would be best served by legislation that requires the use of surveillance cameras in the classrooms of such brainiacs so we can see exactly what they do teach. We might find out they’re teaching a certain sort of lifestyle, if you know what I mean.

Hey, Remember That Guy? Hey, remember that guy Jindal gave a $250,000 salary to while Jindal and the Legislature were cutting all the teachers’ and health care workers’ benefits? That guy is named Tim Barfield. When Jindal named Barfield working head of the state’s Revenue Dept., he gave Barfield a 50 percent — or $125,000 — salary increase. Of course, some salary increases are more equal than others. Well, just as the Legislature was hammering out a budget compromise at the end of the session, Jindal stole the show by announcing that he was making Barfield the official head of the Revenue Department. Since Barfield is making $250,000 a year, I think it should be one of his job duties to explain to the citizenry why the state needs a Revenue Dept. when nobody is raising any taxes.

Despicabig Event Sometimes you hear people say there’s nothing to do in Lake Charles. I don’t really believe that, but I know some folks do. To these folks, I’d say, lookit, just be thankful you’re not caught up in the frantic blur that is the eventful metropolis of Shreveport. On June 5, KVKI-FM in Shreveport ran this Despicablimp: headline about the city’s latest blockbuster The photo that wasn’t event: seen ‘round the world. “One-Eyed Monster, ‘Despicable Me 2’ Blimp Flies Over Shreveport-Bossier” Here’s the story about the paradigm-shifting event, quoted in its entirety: “Did you spot the one-eyed monster in the sky over Shreveport Bossier? The blimp is en route to Los Angeles from Atlanta on a promotional tour. “It was the Despicablimp. The airship is flying across the country promoting the movie Despicable Me 2. The movie opens July 3. Did you see it?” So not only is all this stuff going on in Shreveport — the Despicablimp floating over the city and all — but the radio announcers are checking up on the residents to make sure they keep up with it all. I call that big-city pressure and I don’t need it. Fortunately, the story came with a photo of the Desicablimp floating over the city so we ordinary people don’t have to drive up to Shreveport to see what it looks like. It was a really good photo. It did a good job of showing that even something that’s really, really big can look really, really small when you’re a long way from it.

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LAGNIAPPE

June 20, 2013

Now For Something Pertinent Hey, I know. Let’s write about something that’s very pertinent and timely and trendy. How about … Ron Paul? You saw the Time magazine cover about the baby who’s going to live 120 years? I don’t know what the big deal is. Ron Paul is already 140 and I know he’s going to keep running for president until he’s way older than 200. I have nothing against it. What did we learn from Reagan? If you run for president often enough, you’re bound to be president eventually. Anyhoo, Ron Paul has always had a special relationship with Louisiana and nothing about that is changing. Let’s check out this “Exclusive” story that just ran on the state news blog The Dead Pelican with a headline that was all in capitals: “INJURED RON PAUL SUPPORTER FROM 2012 LA GOP CONVENTION FILES SUIT” This is something else that happened in the hot town of Shreveport. In June of last year, reports The Dead Pelican, Ron Paul supporter Henry Herford “was injured in a scuffle with Shreveport police at the Louisiana Republican convention. The incident was captured on a video that later went viral.” Boy, ain’t that the truth? That thing is still viral. Why, since I’ve started writing this story, the video has had more than 750,000 hits. I think I’m the only person Herford: The second around who hasn’t seen it photo not seen a couple of dozen times. ‘round the world. Herford, we are told, has filed charges against “the officers involved, GOP Chairman Roger Villere, the Louisiana GOP, and the company who owns the facility where the incident took place.” My goodness. Why stop there? Don’t you think Trey Trey’s Mudbogging Emporium had something to do with this? I also think a suit against the hot peanut guy in Lafayette may be in order. Might have the lawyer check it out. Now that I think of it, I hope Herford hasn’t filed any kind of suit against me. I just don’t think I can afford it. And I’m not sure I have a good alibi for the day of the Shreveport incident.

Whatchamacallit’s lawyer took the position that “Ron Paul supporters were in the ‘vast majority’ at the convention and that the will of the convention was ignored.” It may be true as far as I know. Every time Toddlers And Tiaras airs on television, the will of Brad Goins is ignored. But I’m not sure there’s anything illegal about it. The Dead Pelican editor wrote the word “Developing ...” at the end of the story. That’s means you better keep an eye peeled on CNN for this story. I’d try to tune in at the top of the hour.

Pussycats Really Are Low Maintenance The most interesting email of the issue came from Shandi Gilmer of the U.K., whose subject line was “Are you up for some action tonight? You know, I’m absolutely up for it.” You don’t run into that kind of enthusiasm very often. I was intrigued. Just wait until you read the message itself. “What’s a girl got to do? “Even pussycats are really up for a discreet affair sometimes. “That’s the way I feel at this very moment. I’m quite a looker so you won’t regret it. “Not extremely high maintenance too haha. “Seriously, let’s do it. Check me out before the mood fades away. “I got a couple ardent photographs and other stuff, message me and we’ll be having hot old-fashioned fun before you know it.” Well, it was up to me to decide whether I was going to message her or not. I wasn’t sure I knew what it meant to message somebody, but I was pretty sure that if I wanted to do it badly enough, I could figure out how. I wasn’t that concerned about the good looks. But she has a good sense of humor, and that’s important. I guess you noticed the sense of humor as well, in the place where she wrote “ha ha.” I didn’t get the joke, but that might have meant the joke was over my head, which would mean she was witty, which would be another bonus. I also liked the way she didn’t use dirty words. When she wrote, “we’ll be having hot old-fashioned fun,” I’m just about positive she had some dirty word in mind. But, I thought, maybe I shouldn’t be so fast to pass judgment. I didn’t want to be unfair. I guess it was shallow of me, but I wanted to see how she looked. Would you believe the very instant I clicked the link to her photos my computer crashed? Just my luck! This kind of thing happens to me all the time! I guess it’s not really fair of me to burden her with someone who’s so jinxed. But I think it was awfully nice of her to think of me — and all the more so since she doesn’t even know me. Everybody talks about “kindness to strangers,” but here’s somebody who’s serious about it. It’s kind of sad when you think of it, but she’s the first person in my entire life who’s offered me ardent photographs.

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DON'T WORRY, BE HAPPY! LAUGH MORE AND STRESS LESS TRY OUR STRESS RELIEF COMPLEX! Help your body relax and your mind be alert with NO DRUGS and NO SIDE EFFECTS!

Pat Landreneau, Nutrition Consultant

337-230-3598

Lake Charles & Jennings www.shaklee.com

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June 20, 2013

LAGNIAPPE

The City of Lake Charles Water Division P.O. Box 1727, Lake Charles, LA 70602 • 337-491-1307 • June 2013

ANNUAL DRINKING WATER QUALITY REPORT

e are pleased to present to you the Annual Water Quality Report for the reporting/monitoring period from January 1, 2012 to December 31, 2012. This report is designed to inform you about the quality of your water and the services we deliver to you every day. Our constant goal is to provide you with a safe and dependable supply of drinking water. We want you to understand the efforts we make to continually improve the water treatment process and protect our water resources. We are committed to ensuring the quality of your drinking water and its’ compliance with government standards. In this report you will find information such as 1) the quality of the local drinking water; 2) whether the tap water meets EPA’s safety standards; 3) likely sources of drinking water contamination; and 4) information about your local services. You can learn more about the Water Division and its’ facilities and services by visiting the City web site at www.cityoflakecharles.com. Go to the Public Works department listing, then click on the water tab. If you have any questions about this report, or simply want to learn more about your drinking water, please contact Russell Buckels at 337-491-1479.

*All information in this report has been collected and reported to you in accordance with water quality standards established by the USEPA. We are pleased to report our drinking water meets all Federal and State regulatory requirements.

CITY OF LAKE CHARLES WATER SOURCES The City of Lake Charles obtains water from wells that are drilled in the 500-foot and 700-foot sands of the Chicot Aquifer. Groundwater or well water is found in saturated zones beneath the land’s surface. It fills the pores and fractures in underground material such as sand, gravel, or other rock. If the water can be removed from this material in useful amounts, these areas are called aquifers. At the present time the City of Lake Charles has 17 wells that provide a clean, sufficient supply for all of our customers.

HEALTH INFORMATION

The sources of drinking water (both tap and bottled) include rivers, lakes, streams, ponds, reservoirs, springs, and wells. As water travels over the surface of the land or through the ground, it dissolves naturally occurring minerals, and in some cases radioactive material, and can pick up substances resulting from the presence of animals or from human activity. Contaminants that may be present in untreated source water include: Microbial Contaminants - such as viruses and bacteria, which may come from sewage treatment plants, septic systems, agricultural livestock operations, and wildlife. Inorganic Contaminants - such as salts and metals, which can be naturally-occurring or result from urban stormwater runoff, industrial, or domestic wastewater discharges, oil and gas production, mining, or farming. Pesticides and Herbicides – which may come

from a variety of sources such as agriculture, urban stormwater runoff, and residential uses. Organic Chemical Contaminants – Including synthetic and volatile organic chemicals, which are byproducts of industrial processes and petroleum production, and can also come from gas stations, urban stormwater runoff, and septic systems. Radioactive Contaminants – which can be naturallyoccurring or be the result of oil and gas production and mining activities. In order to ensure that tap water is safe to drink, the EPA prescribes regulations which limit the amount of certain contaminants in water provided by public water systems. Food and Drug Administration regulations establish limits for contaminants in bottled water, which must provide the same protection for public health. We ask all our customers to help us protect and conserve our water sources, which are the heart of our community, our way of life, and our children’s future.

SOURCE WATER ASSESSMENT

GOT A QUESTION?

water. The last chemical sampling of our source water was performed in Jan/Feb of 2013. This sampling was performed by a private laboratory certified by the State of Louisiana. Chemical sampling may not be required on an annual basis, therefore, information provided refers back to the most recent chemical sampling results. You will note that all of these contaminants were not detected or were well below the MCL. Terms and abbreviations you might not be familiar with are furnished with the following definitions: Not-Detected (ND) - laboratory analysis indicates that the constituent is not present. Maximum Contaminant Level (MCL) - The highest level of a contaminant that is allowed in drinking water. MCL’s are set at very stringent levels. Maximum Contaminant Level Goal (MCLG) - The level of a contaminant in drinking water below which there is no known or expected risk to health. MCLG’s allow for a margin of safety Action Level - The concentration of a contaminant which, if exceeded, triggers treatment or other requirements which a water system must follow. Treatment Technique (TT) - A treatment technique is a required process intended to reduce the level of a contaminant in drinking water. (ppm) = parts per million (ppb) = parts per billion (ppt) or (nanograms/l) = parts per trillion (ppq) or (picograms/l) =parts per quadrillion Picocuries per liter (pCi/L) – measure of radioactivity in water During the period covered by this report we had the below noted violations of drinking water regulations:

LAGNIAPPE

June 20, 2013

Arsenic ........................... 10 ppb Barium .............................2 ppm Beryllium ..........................4 ppb Cyanide ........................200 ppb Cadmium ..........................5 ppb Chromium ...........................100 Mercury ............................2 ppb Nitrate ............................10 ppm Nitrite ...............................1 ppm Selenium ........................50 ppb Thallium ............................2 ppb 2,4,-D ..............................70 ppb 2,4,5, -TP (Silvex) ..........50 ppb Alachlor ............................2 ppb

ND ND ND ND ND ND ND ND ND ND ND ND ND ND

Certain minerals are radioactive and may emit forms of radiation known as photons and beta radiation. Some people who drink water containing beta particle and photon radioactivity in excess of the MCL over many years may have an increased risk of getting cancer.

A Source Water Assessment was performed on our water supply in April 2003. The program emphasizes pollution preven- Some people may be more vulnerable to contaminants in drinktion to ensure safe drinking water, focusing on the protection of ing water than the general population. Immuno-compromised the water sources. Personnel with the State of Louisiana per- persons such as persons with cancer undergoing chemotherapy, formed this assessment. The persons who have undergone source water assessment conorgan transplants, people with sists of three steps: 1) HIV / AIDS or other immune Delineation or outline of the system disorders, some elderly Need Some Answers? source water protection areas – and infants can be particularly at in our case a one mile radius risk from infections. These peoThe numbers below are provided if you have around each well field; 2) ple should seek advice about questions or problems with your water service. Inventory of significant potendrinking water from theirhealth Billing/New Service ..................491-1307 tial sources of contamination care providers. EPA / CDC within these areas; and 3) guidelines on appropriate means Meter Problems ........................491-1522 Analysis of the system’s susto lessen the risk of infection by Main Breaks ..............................491-1487 ceptibility to contamination Cryptosporidium and other Rusty Water/Odor.....................491-1554 from the potential sources idenmicrobial contaminants are availDistribution Dept. .....................491-1494 tified. This plan is now available from the Safe Drinking Production/Plant Info...............491-1479 able in our office. According to Water Hotline (800-426-4791). the Source Water Assessment 24 Hour Number .......................491-1483 Plan. Our water system had a If present, elevated levels of lead For Plant Tours.........................491-1487 susceptibility rating of "MEDIcan cause serious health probUM". If you would like to lems, especially for pregnant review the plan, please feel free to contact our office. women and young children. Lead in drinking water is primarily Information can be obtained by contacting Russell Buckels, from materials and components associated with service lines Water Division Superintendent at 491-1479. and home plumbing. The City Water Division seeks to provide high quality drinking water, but cannot control the variety of The Louisiana Department of Health and Hospitals - Office of materials used in plumbing components. When your water has Public Health routinely monitors for constituents in your drink- been sitting for several hours, you can minimize the potential ing water. Results of sampling by the State and contracted lab- for lead exposure by flushing your tap for 30 seconds to 2 minoratories are shown in the tables below. Drinking water, utes before using water for drinking or cooking. If you are conincluding bottled water, may reasonably be expected to contain cerned about lead in your drinking water, information on lead at least small amounts of some contaminants. The presense of in drinking water, testing methods, and steps to minimize expocontaminants does not necessarily indicate that the water poses sure is available from the Safe Drinking Water Hotline or at a health risk. http://www.epa.gov.safewater/lead.

TEST RESULTS In the tables below are shown results of sampling on our source and treated

The Contaminants shown at right were sampled for, and WERE NOT DETECTED in our wells or finished water. Shown in each column is the contaminant tested for, the Maximum Contaminant Level (MCL) and the letters "ND" which means the contaminant was not detected.

Our water system is required to test a minimum of 80 bacteriological samples per month in accordance with the Total Coliform Rule. Coliforms are bacteria that are naturally present in the environment and are used as an indicator that other, potentially harmful, bacteria may be present. During the monitoring period covered by this report, we had no noted violations of drinking water regulations. In addition, the State of Louisiana also performs routine chemical analysis for regulated contaminants. Chemical sampling for regulated contaminants may not be required on an annual basis. The results furnished for testing are from the most recent sampling of our source water performed in Jan/Feb of 2013.

Atrazine ............................3 ppb ND Benzo (a) pyrene PAHs ................200nanograms ND Carbofuran .....................40 ppb ND Chlordane ........................2 ppb ND Dalapon ........................200 ppb ND Di(2-ethylhexyl)adipate 400 ppb ND Di(2-ethylhexyl)phthalate .6 ppb ND 1,2-Dibromo-3-chloropropane (DBCP) ............200 nanograms ND Dinoseb ............................7 ppb ND Diquat .............................20 ppb ND Dioxin [2,3,7,8-TCDD] ............... ..............................30 picograms ND

Below, are listed the regulated contaminants that were detected during sampling. While these contaminants were detected you will note that all were BELOW their maximum contaminant level. All samples except for Lead and Copper, were collected at the raw water source and represent water before any treatment, blending or distribution. As such, the consumer tap levels could be less.

Endothall ......................100 ppb Endrin ...............................2 ppb Epichlorohydrin .....................---Ethylene dibromide EDB ...... 50 .................................nanograms Glyphosphate ..............700 ppb Heptachlor .......400 nanograms Heptachlor epoxide ................... ..........................200 nanograms Hexachlorocyclopentadiene ...... .........................................50 ppb Lindane ............200 nanograms Hexachlorabenzene ........1 ppb Methoxychlor .................40 ppb

ND ND ND ND ND ND ND ND ND ND ND

Oxamyl [Vydate] ..........200 ppb PCB’s ...............500 nanograms Pentachlorophenol ...........1 ppb Picloram .......................500 ppb Simazine ..........................4 ppb Toxaphene .......................3 ppb Benzene ...........................5 ppb Carbon tetrachloride ........5 ppb Chlorobenzene ............100 ppb o-Dichlorobenzene ......600 ppb p-Dichlorobenzene ........75 ppb 1,2, - Dichloroethane .......5 ppb 1,1 – Dichloroethylene .....7 ppb cis -1,2-Dichloroethylene 70 ppb

ND ND ND ND ND ND ND ND ND ND ND ND ND ND

trans – 1,2-Dichloroethylene ..... .......................................100 ppb Dichloromethane .............5 ppb 1,2-Dichloropropane ........5 ppb Ethylbenzene ...............700 ppb Styrene .........................100 ppb Tetrachloroethylene .........5 ppb 1,2,4–Trichlorobenzene .70 ppb 1,1,1–Trichloroethane ..200 ppb 1,1,2–Trichloroethane ......5 ppb Trichloroethylene .............5 ppb Toluene ...........................1 ppm Vinyl Chloride ...................2 ppb Xylenes .........................10 ppm

ND ND ND ND ND ND ND ND ND ND ND ND ND

June 20, 2013

LAGNIAPPE

Where’s Da Bacon? Me an’ my stock broker fran Max an’ mah wife Sedonia went to de legislative roundup dat wuz sponsored by de League of Women Voters at Reeves Uptown recently. We wuz radder disappointed dat only two uf our area legislators showed up. However, it wuz pointed out dat like mos’ uf us, day take a little break, an’ Lord knows day need it afta dat dogfight day call a legislative session. Attendin’ wuz Mike Danahay, who represents de Sulphur area, an’ House Speaker Chuck Kleckley, who represents de south Lake Charles area. Mos’ uf de discussion centered around de budget an’ how it had been passed wit’ a lot less one-time money being used to make de numbers tally. Danahay pointed out dat in de neighborhood uf $80-100 million wuz one-time money, which ain’t bad considerin’ what it used to be an’ de fact de state budget iz somewhere around $24 billon. Moss regional changes were discussed, an’ so wuz de Cove Lane funding — both issues we address elsewhere in dis column. Joe Hill, representin’ Congressman Charles Boustany, wuz on de panel. Hill sed de congressman likes some parts of de Obamacare bill, but is opposed to a large majority of it. Hill also said Boustany is carefully watchin’ de farm bill dat iz makin’ its way trew Congress. Dat bill will not only affect our area farmers, but shipments trew de Port of Lake Charles az well. Az far az de bacon brought home, which iz what area folks really care about, de legislators did pretty good. Sowela did very well, gettin’ lots uf money for more projects. We will know later just how well we did when da gov signs or rejects de bills fundin’ de projects. Remember, da gov haz de final say on all dem bills what de House an’ Senate passed.

A New Diploma System State Superintendent uf education John White wuz in town recently meetin’ wit’ teachers and school officials to discuss a new proposed diploma system. Under dis system, dar would be a Core 4 diploma for dem what wanna go to college. De udder would be a career program for de grad who doesn’t wanna go to college but wants to go to a school of some type in order to get a good-paying job. Dis iz whare Sowela an’ technical colleges trewout our state come in. Now, az White sed durin’ hiz visit, dis will take money. An’ az we know, dat iz always de issue when legislators gadder in Baton Rouge. Now folks, dis concept iz nuttin’ new. Former Superintendent Louis Michot had dis idea in de late sixties. But de state gubment haz never stepped up to de plate wit’ enough moohla to make Michot’s dream a reality. Now, granted, it iz getting’ better. Case in point: durin’ de recently completed legislative session, a whole buncha money wuz allocated to schools like Sowela, an’ dat gave colleges a reason to scream day wuz bein’ shortchanged because legislators wuz goin’ around de laws in place to get dis money to what usta be called “trade schools.” Now, like Jim Beam mentioned in a recent column, Sowela iz gettin’ a lotta money for new buildins to train folks for de $40+ billion in industry comin’ our way. But it will need a whole lot mo for equipment and trainin’ staff. Folks, let’s face it … lots uf kids dat go to college don’t belong dar. Stats show about 40 percent uf freshmen flunk out. Az we have sed before, dat is a formula for failure. So why continue to send kids to college when all day gonna do is flunk out an’ den go lookin’ for a job wit’ no industry skills? Send dem to a “trade school” or technical college and let dem get de trainin’ day need for dat good-paying job. Louis Michot would be happy to see hiz dream finally become a reality.

Moss Iz No Mo Moss regional hospital as we know it iz gone. Legislators agreed wit’ Gov. Jindal dat de state would save money by sendin’ dem patients to Lake Charles Memorial for de medical attention day need. Now de outpatient service will still be available at de Moss campus, but under de name uf Lake Charles Memorial Hospital Clinic.

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June 20, 2013

Legislators have voted for fundin’ for this and say it will keep local patients local. We applaud this move and know it will mean better local service. Az it wuz before, if a Moss Hospital patient needed surgery, chances were pretty good day would have to be sent to Shreveport or New Awlins. Not so any more. Now we all know Moss Regional haz been a political football for an awfully long time. In fact, it wuz even shut down a time or two. Now we’ll have better care for de needy at a lower cost to taxpayers … gee, what an innovative idea.

PDO Back In De Saddle De Calcasieu Public Defenders Office haz been in de news almos’ az much az Moss Regional an’ public education in de las’ two years. But now it looks like de PDO will have de money to pay attorneys who’ll represent clients who can’t afford attorneys. In de session, de Legislature increased court costs to, an’ money comin’ from, de Louisiana Public Defenders Boad. De increase in court costs will bring dem back in de black. Az we sed before, let dem who use de judicial system pay for it. An’ it looks like de powers dat be have finally agreed. Now, PDO deficits ain’t a problem dat’s unique to our parish. Reports from de Baton Rouge paper claim udder areas uf de state are havin’ to live wit’ similar shortfalls. Hopefully, now dat problem iz fixed, an’ we won’t have to hear from de PDO again about not havin’ any money.

A Ball Uf Confusion Dar are still a lotta questions about de Cove Lane project dat’s scheduled to start later dis year. An’ its not just cooyons like me who don’t understand it, but when you ax area legislators day can’t answer needer. For example, will dis allow northbound Nelson Road traffic to take de I-210 eastbound ramp? Remember, dat ramp iz blocked now. Will dis prevent de backlog on 210 for westbound folks comin’ off 210 on to Nelson Road? Now, me an’ my Fran T-Claude have axed dem an udder questions to folks who are supposed to be in de know, an’ all day do iz shrug dar shoulders. In udder words dis iz kinda like Obamacare. Just vote for it an’ we’ll tell you what iz in it later.

Swashbucklers Debate Goes On We’ve been hearin’ a lot from folks who claim de local community an’ media didn’t support de Swashbucklers. Firs’ uf all, folks didn’t support it because it wuzn’t de best value for de entertainment dollar in town. Put it anudder way, de Lake Area haz so many tings happenin’ on weekends dat folks have to make choices wit’ dar entertainment dollar, an’ for many, indoor football jus’ didn’t kick dar can. Az far az de media, me, I tink day did a whole bunch mo dan day wuz obliged to. Remember dis folks, de media iz not de public relations arm for any operation, be it de Swashbucklers, McNeese football, or any udder sportin’ event in de Lake Area. Remember — put on a good show an’ day will come. An’ if you don’t put on a good show, folks will take dar entertainment dollars some udder place.

Casino Musical Chairs Again?? One ting about dem casino people, day shore don’t let de grass grow under dar feet. Dar constantly rollin’ an’ goin’. Pinnacle recently announced day wuz sellin’ de Ameristar property in Lake Charles an’ three properties in St. Louis. De Federal Trade Commission wuz screamin’ dat dar wuz unfair competition, mo so in St. Louis dan Lake Charles. Again, dars anudder delay befo we see money comin’ our way from dat last riverboat license. You know dar will be delays because uf gubment approval from de various gamin’ boads. Meantime, de Isle uf Capri in Biloxi wuz baught by de Golden Nugget Casino. Question iz now will day buy de Lake Charles operation. Guess we’ll just have to wait for yet anudder press release.

Deep Taughts While Pickin’ Tomatoes 10) Why don’t I ever have my pistol when I see a snake in my garden? 9) Why do raccoons always eat de biggest an’ prettiest tomatoes? 8) Who will run for all dem term-limited seats in de Legislature from dis area? 7) How come my dog don’t want to get off de porch? Tink it might have sometin’ to do wit’ de heat? 6) Ain’t de new college baseball stadium in Omaha great? 5) Will de Astros continue dar winnin’ ways? 4) How many times will we see McNeese football on TV dis year? 3) How come Suddenlink makes fun uf de Dish folks for goin’ out in bad weather when day go out too? 2) Why does Sedonia get so mad when I have a little booray game wit’ de boys in my man cave? 1) How come de guys who hang out at de Ceegar Club always tell de same stories over and over?

Final Shot My fran Lefty turned 80 last week. He sez when he wuz a teenager, he wuz concerned about da KEG. Now he sez he’s only concerned about hiz EKG. ‘Til next time, lache pas la patate.

June 20, 2013

LAGNIAPPE

OUT & ABOUT

arthur hebert

Casa Mañana It has been at least 30 years since I have set foot in this restaurant. A recent look at their menu got me thinking that there were a number of dishes I would love to try. So I did. My weekly dining companion loves it here, and not because of the margaritas. On our first visit, we started with queso blanco — a lovely white cheese dip with just enough chiles in it to make it interesting. We devoured it while waiting for our entrees. We had ordered dishes that had two items on the plate, and we split them. We each got one stuffed green pepper and one shrimp taco. The pepper was stuffed with Spanish rice and beef, then topped with ranchero sauce and yellow cheese. I found mine to be OK. My problem is the Spanish rice. I find it to be extremely dry in most cases, and it was in this case. I enjoyed the pepper itself, with the sauce and cheese. The shrimp taco on a soft corn tortilla was overflowing with grilled shrimp in a chipotle mayonnaise with crispy shredded cabbage, corn kernels, black beans and pico de gallo. The taste was wonderful, with a great balance of spicy and crunchy.

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We ended the meal with sopapilla, which were a bit bready for my taste. Next, I went by myself. I started with corn potato bisque (the soup of the day). It was delicious, unctuous and spicy. Next, I ordered the firecracker appetizer. It’s intended, I am sure, for three to four people. It consisted of fried flour tortillas shaped like egg rolls and filled with chicken, sausage, cheese and

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June 20, 2013

My entree was Eggplant San Miguel. It is the best eggplant dish I’ve ever eaten. The shrimp were perfectly cooked, and the sauce was lightened by the pico.

jalapenos. They were served with ranch dressing, and were delicious. I almost ate them all, they were so addictive; the crispy exterior and creamy filling was certainly a factor. My entree was Eggplant San Miguel. It consisted of a slab at least one inch thick cut lengthwise from the center of an eggplant then fried in a light batter. It was topped with shrimp in a pico de

gallo cheese sauce. It came with Mexican potatoes (somewhat like Lebanese potatoes, but with Mexican spices). It was served on a fajita platter. It is the best eggplant dish I’ve ever eaten. The thickness of the eggplant let it shine through. (It was meaty and slightly spicy). The shrimp were perfectly cooked, and the sauce was lightened by the pico. The potatoes were a revelation. I so hate Spanish rice that this was a welcome change, especially since they were so good. I am still a bit confused about Taco Tuesday. I now realize I went too early. They accommodated me, however, and

the four street-style tacos of taco meat were excellent. Street style is basically a soft corn tortilla with usually just meat and maybe a few condiments. I was hoping for something like pastor, barbacoa or carnitas. I will have to try this again and come at the correct time. My last time in was with my companion. She had the shrimp tacos, since she loved them the first time. I went old school. I got the chile rellenos with a tamale on the side. The tamale was of a standard size, smothered in chili and cheese. The pleasant surprise was that the tamale was stuffed with shredded pork instead of ground beef. The masa shell was perfect. The chile rellenos were stuffed with ground beef and fried in a whipped egg white batter then smothered in ranchero sauce and white cheese. I enjoyed it, but I think I prefer the type with just cheese in it. These experiences had lots of high points and only a few low points. Overall, I will return, as there are several dishes I must try.

Arthur Hebert’s food and restaurant blog is www.swlaeats.blogspot.com

June 20, 2013

LAGNIAPPE

TECH BYTES

vic wukovits

Check Your Links Before You Click Quite a few of us have Facebook profiles. Many of us are daily users, and I count myself among this group. Facebook can be a welcome distraction, an effective marketing tool or a great mechanism for meeting old friends and new people. It can also be hazardous to your financial well-being. We all know about how various types of computer infections can be dangerous for the health of your computer. But some very nasty types of malware target you where it can hurt most: your finances. Recently, a well-known malware has been making the rounds on Facebook. Otherwise known as Zeus, this baddie has been around for years on computers and even smartphones. But now many instances of this Trojan are being found on the social networking site where you might least expect it. When you click a link on a page you “like” in Facebook, or maybe on some link that your good friend just posted, you could be navigating to a page that delivers this malware to your computer, where it begins to perform its duty. Zeus is designed to infect a computer and lay dormant until the victim logs into a banking website. This malware then steals the passwords to these sites

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June 20, 2013

and proceeds to drain the accounts. In some instances, Zeus can even replace the bank’s webpage with another doppelgänger page to glean even more information from the user, such as Social Security numbers and security answers to questions. These can be traded on the black market. Once this type of information is gathered on the victim, additional accounts can be infiltrated, or even created and abused. The best way to prevent the Zeus Trojan from infecting your computer is to avoid clicking links you don’t trust. This can be pretty difficult, seeing that the whole Internet experience is about clicking links. But paying special attention to the links you click will help greatly. Always look at the domain for a link you’re about to click. If it doesn’t look quite right, don’t click it. Often you see the short links that many services use. There’s a place where you can check these. Link lengthening sites will expand these short links to reveal their final destination. CheckShortURL (goo.gl/xk5fi) is one of the best, supporting almost all link shortening services. Copy and paste a shortened link into the service and it’ll give you the expanded link so that you can

examine before you use the link. Another great resource is Sucuri (goo.gl/8x9HQ), where you can use their SiteCheck tool to scan any website for any kind of malware, infections, and more. For real-time protection, I always recommend Malwarebytes Pro (goo.gl/Q9UTO), which does a great job of preemptively keeping your computer free of any malware. In case you didn’t notice, I used short links in this article. These can give you some practice with using the tools I’ve described. Should you get taken by Zeus or suspect any kind of infection on your machine, Facebook has its own suggestions for actions you can take (goo.gl/Si77D).

You can also run Malwarebytes Pro (goo.gl/Q9UTO) in Safe Mode on your PC as a great start to getting rid of malware.

Cultural Economy Team Developing Plan Southwest Louisiana’s Cultural Economy Team, an initiative jointly lead by the Arts Council of SWLA and the Chamber SW, has been meeting regularly to develop a cultural plan that proposes a unified vision for how our cultural economy can help prepare Southwest Louisiana for multi-billion dollar developments in the near future. The team is a cross-section of the region’s top agencies and businesses, including the Convention & Visitors Bureau, the Calcasieu Parish Police Jury, McNeese, Sowela, Cameron Parish Library, Henning Cultural Center, among others. For details on the initiative, contact the Arts Council at 439-2787.

Coushatta Casino Opens Dog Park Coushatta Casino Resort recently opened its Lucky Paws Dog Park, located south of the halets in Red Shoes RV Park. The new park is open daily from sunrise to sunset. It offers leash-free fun, shade and benches for dog owners, and water, agility equipment and plenty of running room for dogs The casino has also designated 10 chalets and 10 rooms at Coushatta Inn as “dog-friendly” for overnight accommodations. For reservations or more information, call 888-774-7263 or visit coushattacasinoresort.com.

Clothing Concierges Opens Clothing Concierges is now open in Alterations Plus, next door to the old Gaidry’s location at 121 West College St. in Lake Charles. The store, owned by David Trahan and Joseph Walls, both previously with Gaidry’s, offers a wide variety of in-stock and custom order menswear options, with one-on-one consultation to help shoppers choose the best style for their body type. The store also offers custom tailoring at no additional charge. Brand name, high quality menswear selections in suits, separates, sports coats, ties and tuxedos are available. Walk-ins are welcome MondayFriday, 10 am-5 pm, or by appointment. Alterations on any purchases are included. For more info, call 474-3800 or e-mail clothingconcierges@gmail.com.

Care Help Needs Furniture, Appliances Care Help of Sulphur is in need of gently used furniture and appliances in working condition. Items needed include sofas, chairs, kitchen tables, beds, mattresses, box springs, dressers, recliners, washers, dryers and refrigerators. Item pick-up can be arranged by calling 528-2273. For more information, check out Care Help’s Facebook page, or visit care-help.org. June 20, 2013

LAGNIAPPE

LA POLITICS

john maginnis

They Said It At The Legislature During tense budget negotiations in the Senate president’s office between delegations of senators and representatives, Rep. Lance Harris received a text message from Rep. Brett Geymann that read, “Please say ‘fiscal’ instead of ‘physical.’ You’re making us look stupid over here.” That’s never hard to do at the Legislature, which is why members try to avoid those tricky words and use plain talk, like folks do back home, to tell what’s really going on. For instance, “We got some hog washing going on” was how Rep. Jim Morris of Oil City described the administration’s proposed approach to reducing the number of state contracts. Others try to make their cultural references hipper, in a ‘60s kind of way, as Senate President John Alario did on the final attempt by Sen. J.P. Morrell of New Orleans to bring up a bill decreasing the severity of marijuana penalties. “This is the third puff on the motion,” Alario quipped. Or how Sen. Elbert Guillory reached back to praise his bill for a cost-of-living increase for retirees, calling it “the first major new benefit given to our workers since I had an afro.” Treasurer John Kennedy evoked the frontier spirit when he warned legislators that voting for the community college construction bill would bust the ceiling cap even though the Bond Commission would actually approve the bonds. “It’s like say-

ing I voted to hang an innocent man,” he said, “but I didn’t do anything wrong because I didn’t slap the rear of the horse.” The no-nonsense House faction of “fiscal hawks,” with their insistence on budgetary discipline, gave flight to a flock of metaphors, such as Rep. Geymann’s

During tense budget negotiations, Rep. Lance Harris received a text message from Rep. Brett Geymann that read, “Please say ‘fiscal’ instead of ‘physical.’ You’re making us look stupid over here.”

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description of their liberal wing: “They call themselves hummingbirds because they like to be able to back up.” The hawks managed to ruffle some feathers, particularly among fellow Republicans, causing one to blurt out, “What you guys need is a falconer.” Speaking of animals, a body responsible for the Louisiana Science Education Act, referred to as the creationism law by critics, offered its own lessons on the demise of species. In his rift on natural versus man-made disasters, Sen. Fred Mills instructed a committee, “They used to have dinosaurs. Where they at? Man killed them ... There are no more dinosaurs.”

And in a building full of lawyers, there’s plenty one can learn about the Constitution, for all the good that does. On legislation to prohibit the federal government from enforcing laws restricting the sale or possession of semi-automatic weapons, Rep. Joe Lopinto stood tall to say, “I have $100,000 in student loans that says this is probably unconstitutional. But I like the bill.” There can be more eloquence in admitting defeat than in claiming victory. The best example was lobbyist Jimmy Burland’s line: “I will set aside the writing in my tablet because I can see the writing on the wall.” While presiding, the Senate president kept up a light banter, with running jokes, like the one about freshman Sen. Barrow Peacock of Shreveport, the lone member to vote against Alario for president. When

another senator mentioned Peacock’s distinction, the president cut in, “He’s been forgiven but not forgotten.” He wasn’t forgotten later that week when Sen. Karen Carter Peterson cast the lone vote against the confirmation of Tim Barfield as revenue secretary. “Thirtyeight yeas and one nay. Sound familiar, Sen. Peacock?” rubbed in Alario. Even in deadly serious debate, a light moment can intervene. Rep. Regina Barrow had to laugh at her own serial malapropism, to wit, “People who are uninsured, they have a high morbility. That’s not right. Mordibily. Morbidity. They die!” Dead legislation was always good for a laugh. Chairing his tax committee, Rep. Joel Robideaux asked Rep. Patrick Jefferson, the author of a bill to provide income tax rebates for donations to public schools, “Did we have a bill like this that went through (last year)?” “Sailed through,” answered Jefferson. “Collaboration. Cooperation. Just kumbaya.” “And what happened?” “It was vetoed.” This was, first and last, a fiscal session of the Legislature, which invariably led discussion back to the same grim reality, expressed by the bard of West Carroll Parish, Wildlife and Fisheries Secretary Robert Barham, who responded before a committee, “The answer is money. Now what is the question?”

Retreat Would Do Republicans Good When I attended Catholic High in the ‘60s, each spring the senior class loaded onto buses and went off to a three-day retreat at Manresa House, which still operates today in its antebellum setting on River Road in St. James Parish. There we observed the vow of silence (sort of) while attending lectures, praying and meditating on the meaning and responsibilities of becoming young Catholic men as we approached the age of majority. This summer, Republican legislators are planning a retreat of their own. It won’t be at Manresa, where the Jesuits have yet to come around on co-ed convocations. But there will be discussions and meditation on the opportunities and responsibilities of the GOP in its new age of legislative majority. Some prayers wouldn’t hurt either. Silence won’t be the rule — these are politicians — but leaders are hoping their gathering won’t be as loud and rancorous as their last one in the bowels of the State Capitol in the final week of the session. Recriminations flew over how some Republican lawmakers were being disloyal by allying with Democrats, which compared to the risk to our immortal souls of cavorting with Protestants in my day.

The spiritual challenge to the Republican majority lies in dealing with a distant yet controlling authority figure, Gov. Bobby Jindal. A faction of House Republicans, nicknamed the Fiscal Hawks, has rebelled against what they consider his unsound budget practices of relying on one-time money and contingencies. Most Republican legislators, who are not as fiscally fervent, accept using onetime money as the lesser evil in comparison to raising taxes or cutting deeper into higher education and health care. Either they think the governor knows best or they don’t want to cross him and lose their allowance. To pass his budget last year, Jindal out-maneuvered the hawks by combining the votes of cooperative Republicans with the Democrats, who had nowhere else to go. In a strange alliance this year, the band of hawks joined forces with the Democrats, including the Black Caucus, to form a majority that rewrote the governor’s budget. They combined some judicious cuts with a tax amnesty program to wring the one-time money out of the appropriations bill. They also adopted stricter procedures to curb budgetary

abuses. What most upset mainstream Republicans, however, was that the hawk-Democrat alliance changed the rules to give Democratic caucus leader Rep. John Bel Edwards of Amite, a candidate for governor, and Black Caucus leader Rep. Katrina Jackson of Monroe, seats at an expanded negotiating table to write the final bill. “They stabbed us in the back,” fumed Rep. Gordon Dove, RHouma. In the end, one-time money was limited, though not eliminated, and compromises were reached on new budget procedures. The biggest concession won by the Democrats was the addition of $69 million to K-12 education. The amount was split between a modest teacher pay raise and the needs of school boards. The increase in base funding for education was the first in five years, during which time businesses have feasted on many more millions in new tax breaks. Education Superintendent John White called the pay increase the best thing to happen in the session. For the state as a whole, the final spending plan was as good as could be expected, and passed with only one dissenting vote in either chamber.

But what really steamed Republicans was that while they were in the majority, they weren’t in control. Senate Republicans say their House counterparts could have got much the same deal had they banded together instead of hooking up with the Democrats. Perhaps so. They just didn’t. Many of the same budget dynamics will be present again next year. What would mark progress for Republicans is to concede that the hawks had good ideas but flawed methods. From there, they could re-coalesce as a principled majority that would deal with Democrats from a position of strength but without the heavy-handed partisanship that afflicts Washington. Once they put away their toys, their perks and dwindling project money, and realize who really is dividing and controlling them, the Republicans could emerge to lead the House of the people, standing equal to the Senate and respectfully apart from the governor. A retreat would be a good start on forming a responsible, enlightened majority. As the brothers at Catholic High and the Jesuits at Manresa told us boys, it’s time to grow up. June 20, 2013

LAGNIAPPE

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be used to finance the construction of a new Abraham’s Tent a few blocks away from its current location at 2300 Fruge St. The proposed legislation — if approved by the City Council — will allow City Hall to negotiate terms for the grant.

Moss Regional Ends Inpatient Admissions

LOCAL NEWS STORIES OF THE PAST TWO WEEKS McNeese Receives National Ranking McNeese State University ranked No. 32 out of 58 universities in the nation, recognized as a low-cost college with high starting salaries for graduates, according to AffordableColleges Online.org. Six other Louisiana universities made the list. Louisiana Tech University topped the list among Louisiana universities, with McNeese ranking third in the state.

Landry, City Complete Deal For Old Sears Property Businessman Roger Landry recently signed a contract with Lake Charles City Hall to buy 3.5 acres of land downtown. Landry will buy the land for $1.06 million with the intention of constructing a 170-plus-residential-unit building that will also have 22,000 square feet of business space. The project is expected to cost $20 million. In November, the City Council selected Landry to develop the former Sears retail store property, in the

600 block of Ryan Street. He was chosen over Baton Rouge developer Donnie Jarreau and Lake Charles businessman Gray Stream.

Sasol Purchases School Board Property The Calcasieu Parish School Board recently sold its Mossville property — the old Mossville Elementary School — to Sasol for $9.5 million. The company will use the property for administrative purposed for construction engineers. Closing on the property will occur in early August, but Sasol could take the property over as late as December.

Sulphur’s Projected Budget Deficit Increases The city of Sulphur’s projected deficit in the general fund for the 2014 fiscal year increased by $185,280. In May, City Council members unanimously voted to buy police units, adding $101,250 to a $184,165 deficit. Also, they voted to amend the city’s decision to give employees a 2 percent raise,

rather than the proposed 1 percent raise, bringing the city $84,030 further into the red. The amended budget following the council’s decision leaves the city with a deficit of $369,445 in its general fund.

Iafrate Resigns From Pinnacle Pinnacle Entertainment officials recently announced that Geno Iafrate, executive vice president of regional operations, resigned from his post. He served in that post since August 25, 2011. During his tenure with Pinnacle, Iafrate served as senior vice president of Louisiana Operations for Pinnacle and senior vice president and general manager of the company’s Lake Charles property.

City To Give Grant To Abraham’s Tent The City of Lake Charles is planning to provide a $50,000 grant to Abraham’s Tent. The money — combined with funds from other government agencies — will

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Moss Regional Medical Center has ended inpatient admissions and surgery services. The hospital’s emergency room is now closed. The move is in preparation for the privatization deal which takes effect June 24. Under that deal, Lake Charles Memorial Health System will take over inpatient, surgery and emergency services. LSU’s outpatient clinics in Lake Charles will remain open under Lake Charles Memorial management.

New Diploma For La. High School Students The state Education Department is now giving high school students the option of three diploma routes: the “core four diploma,” which prepares them for a four-year university; the “basic diploma,” which doesn’t qualify them for TOPS; and the “career diploma,” which only prepares them for customer service jobs. School systems will be using the new framework by fall 2016, he said, and those that can get it done faster are encouraged to do so. “We need to do more to prepare kids for real jobs that exist in the Lake Charles-Southwest Louisiana area, so that if they’re not getting a four-year college degree they’re getting something that makes them successful and is the path to the middle class,” said state Superintendent of Education John White said.

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June 20, 2013

LAGNIAPPE

WEIRD NEWS

chuck shepherd • illustrations by felix falgoust

Charming The beauty pageant each April at the Rattlesnake Roundup in Sweetwater, Texas, has such traditional requirements as interview poise, eveninggown fashion and talent. It also requires ability and inclination to milk and skin rattlers. High school senior Kyndra Vaught won this year’s Miss Snake Charmer, wearing jeweled boots one night for her country-western ballad, then Kevlar boots and camouflage chaps the next, as she took on dozens of rattlers in the wooden snake pit. Vaught expertly held up one serpent, then helped measure, milk and skin it. A Los Angeles Times dispatch noted that Vaught hoped to go to the Berklee College of Music in Boston.

The Continuing Crisis — In March, a cold spell in Germany wiped out an entire troupe of performing fleas, requiring a flea circus owner to secure replacements. Flea trainer Robert Birk reached out to a university near Mechernich-Kommern for 50 substitutes, which he worked into the act over one weekend. (With or without training, fleas can pull up to 160,000 times their own weight and leap up to 100 times their own height.) — The owner of a restaurant in southern Sweden told authorities that the former owner had assured him that “everything had been approved,” includ-

ing the appliance the restaurant used for mixing salad dressings and sauces. This was a table-model cement mixer. When health officials told the owner that it certainly was not approved, he immediately bought another mixer. Health authorities had come to the restaurant on a complaint that a screw had turned up in a customer’s kabob.

tape and Blue-Touch mouse glue: equipment “he controls with the precision of an archer,” the Post reported. His biggest catch ever was an $1,800 gold and diamond bracelet. The items he snags most often are iPhones, which pedestrians apparently have trouble hanging onto.

Oops! — Tyshekka Collier, 36, was arrested in Spartanburg, S.C., in March after she rushed to her son’s elementary school after she got a call that he was suspended. As she burst into the office, she saw a pouting boy with his head down and slapped him, thinking he was hers. He wasn’t.

Modern Anglers — Chad Pregracke, 38, a Mississippi River legend, spends nine months a year hauling heavy-duty litter out of waterways with his crew of 12. He told CNN that he’s yanked up 218 washing machines, 19 tractors, four pianos and nearly 1,000 refrigerators, totaling over 3,500 tons of trash. He’s collected the world’s largest array of bottles with messages inside — a total of 63. — Eliel Santos fishes the grates of New York City seven days a week. He’s reeled in enough bounty to sustain him for the last eight years, he told the New York Post in April. The fishing line Santos uses is dental floss, with electrician’s

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After she apologized, she managed to locate her son and promptly slapped him. — When Evan Ebel was killed in a roadside shootout in March, it was clear he was the man who had days earlier gunned down the head of the Colorado prison system (and his wife) at the front door of their home and then fled. He killed another man while on the lam. Ebel shouldn’t even have been free at the time, as he had accidentally been released from prison in January because a judge’s assistant had mistakenly marked Ebel’s multiple prison terms to be served concurrently instead of consecutively. The supervising judge “extended condolences” to the families of Ebel’s victims.

Perspective The New Delhi, India, neighborhood of Lutyens’ Delhi houses some of the richest people in the country in compara-

tively modest mansions, with the city’s real estate bubble inflating prices into nine figures. Home sales there are rare, according to a March New York Times dispatch. In the similarly wealthy city of Hong Kong, in the “gritty, working-class West Kowloon neighborhood” where the laborers serving the rich live, about 100,000 dwell in pitiable housing, including the increasing number who rent what are basically stacks of wire sleep cages, measuring 16 square feet each and offering no protection against bedbugs. An Associated Press reporter found one tenant paying the equivalent of $167 a month for his mesh digs.

Bright Ideas — The Discovery Channel announced a new survival show, Naked and Afraid. A man and a woman who are strangers will be dropped off on an isolated Maldives island without tools or clothes and left to fend for themselves. Among the previews: Kellie Nightlinger, 38, who calls herself an “ultimate survivalist,” felt that after two weeks of nearly starving she could attract fish close enough to be snatched up. Said a Discovery Channel executive: “Survival shows are so common now that it’s gotten more and more difficult to convince the audience that what they’re watching is something extreme.” — After hosting the Bassmaster

Classic, local officials in Tulsa, Okla., announced in April that they were considering preparing a bid for the 2024 Summer Olympics. The Winter Games sometimes get awarded to small venues, but never the Summer Games.

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June 20, 2013

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People With Issues Bloomberg Business Week reported in April that Herson Torres was recruited by a “Defense Intelligence Agency operative” to rob a Virginia bank in order to test first-responder reaction times. If she was caught, Torres’s arrest would be removed from the record, said “Theo,” the operative. The skeptical Torres asked advice from various authority figures, including two bemused lawyers. “Theo” was able to calm them all with a dazzling display of CIA jargon and procedures. Torres was arrested and “Theo” did spring him (but with a judicial order that was forged). Ultimately, “Theo” was revealed to be frustrated computer-techie Matthew Brady, 26, who lives with his mother and grandmother in Matoaca, Va. Despite his world-class skill at bluffing, he pleaded guilty in May and was ordered to be treated for his paranoid schizophrenia and delusional disorder.

No Longer Weird — A man in his 70s in Burnaby, British Columbia, was rescued in January after being pinned for three days under fallen debris inside his seriously cluttered home, which had “ceiling-high mounds of garbage.” — In Lianjiang City, China, in January, Peng Xinhua, 101, became stiff and appeared to have no heartbeat. A burial was scheduled. Just before the funeral, as relatives and friends were washing her body, Peng opened her eyes and calmly greeted them.

Readers’ Choice Henry Gribbohm, 30, admitted in April that he had blown his $2,600 life savings trying to win an Xbox at a rigged ball-toss game at a Manchester, N.H., carnival. He lamented to WBZTV, “For once in my life, I happened to become that sucker.” Gribbohm complained to the game’s operator, but was given only a large stuffed banana. When news of the story broke, an Internet website took up a collection and purchased the banana from him for $2,600.

June 20, 2013

LAGNIAPPE

TAKING CHARGE

dale archer, MD

Oh, Sister! Dear Dr. Archer, I recently found an Internet ad offering escort services and sexual favors for a certain price. The problem? The woman in the ad is my sister! I immediately asked her about it, because I’m concerned for her safety and mental state. I’m not sure what to do about it. She’s avoided me for over two weeks, and is both rude and defensive when we talk. She says she no longer trusts me! How do I deal with this? Does she need psychiatric help? Teresa

have a friend who wants to help me by letting me stay at his place, and I’d only have to pay half the rent. I won't have to pay for groceries, etc. The problem is, of course, my parents ... mainly my mother; my dad doesn't want to talk about it. I went to my mother and told her I wished to move out. I told her about meeting my future roommate, and told her about it in a mature manner, with

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Dear Teresa, No, your sister doesn’t need psychiatric help. She may need a financial advisor, but not a psychiatrist. Your sister was, no doubt, surprised, shocked and embarrassed by your discovery. Trust me, she wasn’t expecting you to find her ad, and now she's on the defensive. Why? Because she’s afraid you will judge her, condemn her and possibly wonder about her mental state. Talk to your sister, even if she’s rude. Let her know you love her and if she needs a shoulder to lean on or an ear to listen, you’re there for her. She’s an adult who is responsible for her own decisions. You can remind her that you want her around for a long time, so she should practice safe sex. Also, let her know that, regardless of what she does for a profession, you are there for her. And then drop it. Ask her to lunch just to have fun and bond. Don’t bring up her source of income unless she brings it up first. Be there for her, but realize this is her life to live and this is her decision. She’s your sister; love her unconditionally. Good luck. Dr. Archer Dear Dr. Archer, I’m a 22 year old female, and I want to move out on my own. Currently, I’m looking for a job. I

LAGNIAPPE

June 20, 2013

I recently found an Internet ad offering escort services and sexual favors for a certain price. The problem? The woman in the ad is my sister!

respect, of course. But she said no! When she says no, it’s in a very toxic and controlling way. She then belittles me, saying I can’t even take care of myself, and if I move out I’ll become a drug addict. She also says since I’m moving in with a guy he’ll most likely rape me. I understand my mother doesn’t want me to get hurt. The more I tell her I want to experience the world, the more she tells me she doesn’t believe me, and that my friends are influencing me to make this bad move. I can’t deal with this! Charmaine Dear Charmaine, The day you turned 18 you legally became an adult. You don’t need your mother’s or your parent’s permission to move out, and you haven’t for almost four years. You're the one who’s holding yourself back. Now, moving into the apartment of a male you don’t know well just to get away from parents may not be the wisest move. Moving in and paying half the rent while he also pays for groceries and utilities is a good deal, but why the rush?

My advice is get to know this guy better; bring him by and let your parents and friends meet him. Make sure everyone feels he’s a good guy --- honest and respectful. If there are no red flags after three months or so, then go for it. That way, you’ve done your homework and made sure you aren’t being set up by a loser looking for a female roommate. Also, another thought is that you could always get your own place or live with a girlfriend. If you want to make this happen, then start planning now. Make out a budget and start saving. Then, when the time comes, you can show your parents how thorough you’ve been with your plans. Good luck. Dr. Archer

Dear Kimora, If you’re not happy with the way your boyfriend acts, why would you still be dating him after three years of very predictable behavior? You see a problem, yet he obviously doesn’t. Dating isn’t about changing someone or altering your behavior to better fit with someone else. Dating is a social interaction, allowing a couple to get to know each other better, and to determine if they’re compatible. I’m not going to analyze your boyfriend on the basis of a short letter. Some men are upbeat and happy most of the time, some are quiet some of the time, and some, like your boyfriend, simply have their moments of being quiet. This is neither right nor wrong. It’s

simply who they are. There are two quotes that come to mind. Britney Spears said, "When you're comfortable with someone you love, the silence is the best. And, that’s how me and J. are. When we're in a room together, we don’t have to say anything. It’s for real." The other is from Pulp Fiction, when Mia (Uma Thurman) tells Vincent (John Travolta) "Don’t you hate that? Uncomfortable silence. Why do we feel it's necessary to talk about bull in order to feel comfortable? That’s when you know you've found somebody really special. When you can just shut the hell up for a minute and comfortably share a silence." Your boyfriend’s comfortable

enough with you to not speak. For your part, if you feel abandoned and unwanted when you’re with someone who isn’t talking, then obviously this isn’t the man for you. What’s most important is the love, respect and trust you have for each other. All the best, Dr. Archer

Dr. Dale Archer is a board certified psychiatrist who founded the Institute for Neuropsychiatry in Southwest Louisiana. He’s a frequent guest on Fox News, CNN Headline News and other national TV programs, and is the author of the New York Times bestselling book Better than Normal. Visit him at DrDaleArcher.com.

Dear Dr. Archer, My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for three years. The problem is that he blows hot and cold, and sometimes withdraws for no apparent reason. There are times when he can be very loving, attentive and funny. Then there are other times when we can be sitting in the same room and I barely notice he’s there because he goes deathly silent on me. During these times I can sit on one end of the sofa and he’ll sit on the other end and not even touch me. He becomes emotionally distant, though he tells me he’s fine and I have nothing to worry about. When I talk to him, he gives me a normal reply but doesn’t make it long enough to continue the conversation, so I simply give up. The other day, he came over to my place and just sat there, watching TV in silence, hardly saying a word. When I asked if he was OK, he simply said "yes" and continued watching television. I had to force a normal conversation. The next day when he came to pick me up for work, the silence continued; we’ve been driving to work in silence for the past few days. He’ll greet me with a smile, but that’s it. I feel emotionally abandoned and unwanted when he does this. This is nothing new, but it’s something I don’t think I can get used to. I’ve talked to him about it, but he’s assured me it was nothing to worry about. For the next few weeks, he’ll be attentive, but then he’ll slowly crawl back into his shell of silence, then be affectionate, then be silent again. It’s been a pattern for three years. Sometimes I think it’s because he’s bored with our relationship or he’s seeing someone else. Otherwise, why would he just withdraw from me for no tangible reason? He doesn’t look as if he’s depressed or has problems. Either way, it’s exhausting trying to strike up a conversation with someone who clearly doesn’t want to talk much. What do you think causes this sort of behavior, and how do I deal with it? If it makes your analysis of his behavior any easier, he’s extremely sensitive; he tends to withdraw every time I try to talk to him about something. I’m not happy about the way he acts like the victim, making it difficult for me to communicate whatever problem is at hand. Kimora June 20, 2013

LAGNIAPPE

Can You Bring The Small Town Into The Suburbs? Some Lake Area Developers Are Betting You Can BY BRAD GOINS

NEW URBANISM, LAKE AREA STYLE

ou can call it all sorts of different things: the new urbanism, smart growth or traditional neighborhood development. It’s a very new form of suburban development that has vast appeal to people who grew up in the conventional, standalone house in the suburbs and find such a residential setting stale, unimaginative and restrictive. While the new urbanism thrives in the suburbs, it’s built around the strong points of traditional American small towns. The concept is simple. In the smart growth suburban development, essential needs and popular diversions — shops, restaurants, mail, laundry, health care — are all located close together. All are within easy walking distance of the residential developments. And that’s good, because the new urbancontinued

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June 20, 2013

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June 20, 2013

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NEW URBANISM continued ism is all about walking. Sidewalks are wide. Cars are parked behind homes, not in front of them. There’s little traffic on the streets. Along with the walking come chances for socializing. Developers are careful to create the kinds of traditional gathering places that were once central to small town life. If mail is delivered, for instance, to a sundries shop, the shop becomes a gathering place for the community. It’s common

“People are really buying a lifestyle. They’re buying the ability to walk and for their kids to ride bikes and the spa to be right down the street. It’s really more of a culture that’s being created.” ---- Charles Landry, one of the three key figures in the firm that created River Ranch in Lafayette.

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June 20, 2013

for smart growth communities to have a place that’s designated as the central gathering place for the entire community. Charles Landry, one of the three key figures in the firm that created the wellknown traditional neighborhood development River Ranch in Lafayette, described smart growth in this way for 10/12 Magazine: “People are really buying a lifestyle. They’re buying the ability to walk and for their kids to ride bikes and the spa to be right down the street. And instead of having the mailman drop mail in some ugly little box out front, they walk to the market and get their mail there. It’s really more of a culture that’s being created.” Landry also said that creating a safe residential component for seniors was a key part of the traditional approach. In a community such as River Ranch, he said, grandmother doesn’t have to worry, “is it safe to get in my car and drive across town to go see my doctor?” If she drives at all, the drive will be a short, familiar, low-traffic drive.

Not Behind The Swing The new urbanism is one of the national trends that Louisiana is not behind on. In fact, when River Ranch was developed in

Lafayette in 1998, it was one of the first 20 traditional neighborhood developments in the country. This was getting in on the game very early indeed. It was only in 1991 that Sacramento, Calif., commissioned a group of prominent architects who created the Ahwahnee Principles, which became the guide for the fledgling new urbanism movement. (The document was named after the Ahwahnee Hotel in Yosemite National Park.) And it was only in 1993 that the architects founded the Congress for

the New Urbanism. Today that group has more than 3,000 members. When 10/12 Magazine prepared a story on the new urbanism on the 10/12 Corridor in Summer 2008, there were a dozen smart continued

June 20, 2013

LAGNIAPPE

NEW URBANISM continued growth projects on the boards between Lake Charles and Sliddell. Nationwide, 1,000 such developments had been built and 4,000 more were planned. Smart growth communities along the 10/12 corridor now likely number much more than 12. In Lake Charles alone, there are now three such projects that have been completed or are on the way. Evidence that these developments are in sync with the smart growth approach is easy to find. For instance, in her online introduction to South Lake Charles’ Graywood, Home Owners Association president Carolyn Marcantel states that the development offers a “lifestyle so complete, you will rarely have to leave home.” That’s the idea in a nutshell. She goes on to say that “many social opportunities … await” residents. After describing a sports club and opportunities for diversion, she describes The Graywood Park as part of a “setting where friends and families can gather on a daily basis.” To see how new urbanism and traditional neighborhood development are evident in the new Walnut Grove development on Sallier Street in Lake Charles, see the article about that project elsewhere in this magazine. New urbanism principles will also be central to the Morganfield Development, which is slated to be built on 277 acres of land around East McNeese Street. For starters, Morganfield will be developed by the same people who developed River Ranch in Lafayette. Robert Daigle, another member of the

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June 20, 2013

River Ranch firm, who will be managing partner in the Morganfield enterprise, told KPLC-TV that the development company was “primarily in the business of developing smart growth communities.” Daigle said about the same thing to Lagniappe recently, stating that “the smart

growth model is one we firmly believe in. It’s worked for us at River Ranch.” He says “the exact principles” of that model will be employed in the smart growth community at Morganfield. “The principles are all about elevating the quality of life in neighborhoods.”

Daigle is quick to note that three residential developments are planned for the McNeese Street land. Of these, only one, a parcel of 120 acres, will be devoted to a new urbanism community. But the other two developments will incorporate new urbanism principles. While they will be

entirely residential, they will include parks, open spaces and opportunities for recreation. Daigle says one thing he and his partners have heard is that everywhere they go, they’re “going to do a River Ranch.” He says some have complained that River Ranch works, but only because it’s at an “elitist” price point. Daigle begs to differ with both accusations. He points to the Sugar Mill Pond development at Youngsville which is at a dramatically lower price point than River Ranch (but organized on the same smart growth principals). He also says the smart growth development along McNeese Street will be at a “significantly lower price point” than that of River Ranch. “The pricing point of the house is what we think is suitable to the environment. You don’t want to create the impression that our housing isn’t affordable for the majority of homebuyers.” Expect the portion of Morganfield modeled along traditional neighborhood development lines to have 600 homes and accommodate 800 families.

troversy, trouble and squabbles. Casual observers who aren’t especially interested in smart growth suburban development may feel that some of the developments have a cramped feel to them. In some developments, houses sit right next to each other; the west wall of one house abuts on the east wall of an adjacent houses. There are no sprawling lawns; rather, there are small lawns with lots of landscaping and flowers. There’s a green benefit for these smaller spaces. Those who create such developments claim they can accommodate a given number of people in one third less space than they would require in a typical suburban development. People who are skeptical about the new somewhat closer quarters have criticized them as “urban cloning.” In the 2008 inter-

view, Daigle said the term “urban cloning” “doesn’t offend me at all. My response is that there are some wonderful things about the built urban environment that people love. And if you’re accusing me of trying to replicate that, then [I say] do it all day long.” You don’t have to be a real estate developer to know that there are all sorts of people who like the urban lifestyle, just as there are all sorts of people who would like to try the community-oriented way of life that thrived in American towns in the distant past. Such people are likely to find the standard suburban model tedious; more of the same. But the biggest problem faced by smart growth communities isn’t an excess of skeptical customers. New urbanism developments don’t have any trouble finding

residents who want to try this new way of life. No, the biggest problem by far is the resistance of zoning boards. In communities where zoning boards aren’t open to making exceptions to the suburban models, long and labor-intensive negotiations may have to take place before smart growth communities become complete. For this reason, smart growth communities probably don’t attract any developers, planners or attorneys who are afraid of work. Negotiation, dialogue, and perhaps even arbitration, are often necessary. On the other hand, the prospect of creating a way of living and a place for living that are entirely new are probably strong incentives for hard work.

The Challenges The typical suburban residential product, with stand-alone houses in the midst of big yards, has changed only in size since it became the dominant form of housing in the U.S. in the years following World War II. Suburban developments have grown bigger over the years. But in terms of design and community, they’ve changed little. Conventional suburbs are designed for residential use only, and often entail long drives with lots of traffic for those who are going to shop or work.

“The smart growth model is one we firmly believe in. It’s worked for us at River Ranch.” ---- Robert Daigle, one of the three key figures in the firm that created River Ranch in Lafayette.

The exact principles of that model will be employed in the community at Morganfield. The same housing model has been dominant for 65 years. And that could mean trouble in a country and culture that’s drunk in its love of perpetual change. Daigle told 10/12 Magazine that “Ninety percent of the projects out there today being developed are conventional suburban product. They’re building the same product we already have an abundance of inventory for. That is going to come crashing down on the development industry over the next five to six years.” In other words, even before the real estate market fell apart in the year when this statement was made, there was a glut of houses in the stand-alone suburban mode. Whatever might be said about the new urbanism model, it definitely offers a housing alternative. As one might expect, with such a radical departure from the norm, there’s been conJune 20, 2013

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A Sneak Peek At The Unique New Walnut Grove Development: A Traditional Neighborhood Community BY SAMANTHA RUTH

HISTORIC ROOTS, MODERN APPROACH

magine a simpler time; a slower pace; a more connected way of life. Friends both young and old walk along a shaded lane toward the river. Courting couples take long, romantic buggy rides around the lake. Fishermen cast their lines in the slow-moving river. Families enjoy a Sunday afternoon picnic in the shade along the water. That was the original Walnut Grove at the turn of the last century. From the Victorian era in the late 1800s, through the year 1926, Walnut Grove, located along continued

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WALNUT GROVE continued the Calcasieu riverfront, was one of the most significant social gathering places for residents of Lake Charles. It was a serene oasis of natural beauty, perfumed by a wall of Cherokee roses, shaded by Cypress trees draped with Spanish Moss, and bordered by the impressive grove of black walnut trees that gave the area its name. In the mid 1920s, the Port of Lake Charles took over the property, and this scenic area took on a new and important role for the

The Lawton Building, which will include 22,800 square feet of retail and office space.

regionâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s growth and development. Fast forward 100 years, and there is a new Walnut Grove being developed very near the site of the original location in Lake Charles. It all began with a storm called Rita. The Lawton offices in Sulphur were destroyed by the storm, and the company, which had already been planning a mixed-

A rendering of a section of the commercial area called Contraband Alley. Commercial areas are integrated with residential areas. Stores, restaurants and other businesses will be within a five-minute walk of homes.

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use neighborhood, began to look for a new corporate home as well. Their search led them in an unexpected direction, one that linked the past to the future in a very unique way. “As we researched and refined our ideas, we were intrigued by the authenticity and functionality of a different type of development, one that incorporated the principles of New Urbanism,” says Gus Schram III, vice president and Chief Operating Officer of Walnut Grove Development, L.L.C. “New Urbanism has captured the attention of city planners, residents and neighborhoods across the country for decades. We wanted to bring that vision to Southwest Louisiana. At the same time, we narrowed our property search down to a tract of land on West Sallier Street. As we looked into it, we discovered the rich history associated with the original Walnut

View from the Lawton Building at Market Square. The post office building is being bricked. This will be a three-story office and retail building. The first floor will be home to the Walnut Grove Post Office and a branch for First Federal Bank of Louisiana. The second and third floors have over 5000 sq. feet of available space for lease.

continued

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WALNUT GROVE continued

The Octavia model home features this bedroom.

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June 20, 2013

Grove, which was just down the road, where the port is now. We knew we had found the site for our Traditional Neighborhood Development, a place where we could connect the best parts of our region’s history and sense of community in a modern way.” Schram explains that New Urbanism is an architectural approach that encapsulates a village within a neighborhood, and Traditional Neighborhood Developments, or TNDs, are a hallmark of this approach. “As society has evolved to include advanced amenities, sprawling populations and hectic, hurried lifestyles, small-town America seems to have gotten lost along the way,” says Schram. “Today’s town center is more urban than quaint; we spend more time in our cars than on foot; and we talk to our neighbors through texts, not on the front porch. We want to change that. Everything you need — groceries, parks, restaurants and shops — will be right around the corner in Walnut Grove. You can stop in a shop along the way, say hello to your neighbor, or bring your children to the park. It’s not a reversion to the past, but a unity between tradition and innovation. Walnut Grove will bring forth a revival of the spirit of community which our country was built around.” The 60 acres of Walnut Grove, located along Sallier Street in the same general area as its historic namesake, will feature the traditional elements of a TND: aesthetically paved streets, pedestrian sidewalks and walkways, offices, shops, homes, restaurants, a town square, parks,

The interior of the development’s model home, The Octavia.

greens, playgrounds, a beautiful estuary and other fundamentals that comprise a self-contained village within a neighborhood — all without sacrificing the great traditions of south Louisiana that inspired it. Traditional architectural elements of the region are being painstakingly followed, from building plans to the smallest architectural and design details. “We didn’t want to build a cookie-cutter development that could exist in ‘Anywhere, U.S.A.‚’” says Schram. “We wanted Walnut Grove to be essentially Southwest Louisiana.” Schram adds that the goal is to create a community that looks like it evolved naturally over time, the way towns did in the past. These communities evolved from a town center, with a core of businesses and smaller homes fanning out around it. As the community grew, so did the distance between properties, with larger pieces of property spreading out from the town center. Typically, the lots and homes farthest away from the town center were the largest. “Our construction plan includes several distinct districts,” explains Schram. “The Walnut Grove Urban Core district is the densest area in the development, and the part that we are developing first. It will be our town center, the epicenter of social gatherings and events. This is where our civic and commercial buildings are located, incorporating retail, restaurants and office space, along with residential properties in closer proximity to each other. Next will come our Neighborhood Center district, in which the focus will be primarily on residential property with a minimum of other potential uses. The lot sizes become larger and less dense in this phase of development. Our Garden District is the least dense area of Walnut Grove, and is exclusively residential, with large, expansive lots. We will seek to retain a scenic and spacious quality, with deeper setbacks along the edges of each lot, creating a wide edge of landscaped green space along the streets, providing a beautiful, natural setting for these homes.” There are currently five homes under construction at Walnut Grove, one of which is the model home and sales office, which will be opening this summer. Three commercial buildings, the Lawton building, post office and market are also underway and at different stages of completion. Schram noted that the streets and parks of Walnut Grove were named in honor of the people and places that impacted the area in meaningful ways. Just a few examples: Jabez Drive, a main street in

Walnut Grove, was named after Jabez Bunting Watkins, who launched a major campaign in 1883 to attract people of the “highest caliber” to Southwest Louisiana; Charleston Park carries the original name of the town that became Lake Charles, and is one of several parks in Walnut Grove; and Contraband Alley is named after Pirate’s Alley in New Orleans, and is a beautifully planned retail streetscape. “We wanted to not only capture the flavor of this area, but to celebrate it, and pay tribute to its history,” says Schram. “In our opinion, that takes it a step further than being just another development, and makes it something everyone in our region can be proud of.” Learn more about the history of Walnut Grove and plans for the new development at www.walnutgrovetnd.com. Commercial and residential properties are now available.

June 20, 2013

LAGNIAPPE

MAKING A SMART BUSINESS MOVE

ost of us know the basics involved in choosing a new home: check out the schools, make sure the neighborhood is safe and convenient to work and play, and choose a home size and layout that works for the family and the budget. But for business owners, it’s often difficult to know when to relocate and how to find the perfect location. “Most small business owners know when it’s time to consider a move,” says Nikki Hagen, Realtor with Century 21 Bessette Realty. “They may have outgrown their current space; they may want to own instead of rent; or maybe they’ve narrowed their business focus and streamlined their services and realize they don’t need the square footage they currently have.”

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Space is the reason most companies relocate, as was the case for Ingle Safari Realty, which just moved into its new location in the old Cafe Margaux on Bayou Pines East. Indeed, space is the reason most companies relocate. Some start up companies, for example, are only able to afford a smaller office in one part of the city, but as they grow and get more established, they find they need to move to a new and bigger location.

That was the case for Ingle Safari Realty, which just moved into its new location in the old Cafe Margaux on Bayou Pines East. “We had grown to the point where we had to do something,” says Steve Floyd, co-owner and broker for Ingle Safari. “We had nine assistants, over 40 Realtors, and not much square footage at all. We had to have more square footage.” “Deciding to relocate and where to relocate is, for a business owner, a jigsaw puzzle that needs to be carefully analyzed and put together,” warns Derenda Grubb, Realtor with Century 21 Mike D. Bono and Associates Realty. First, says Grubb, business owners should analyze their clientele in terms of both the current and any future location. “(Business owners should take

a careful look at who needs their business; who their current clientele is; who is coming into their facility; and who they want to come to their facility.” Location, of course, is a key part of that puzzle. For some businesses, says Grubb, location doesn’t matter so much. A company that does most of its sales over the Internet, for example, won’t need to consider things like traffic flow, exposure, parking space or access to ancillary businesses. For others, location is everything.

“Exposure is vital for some businesses,” says Grubb. “A fast food restaurant, for example, needs to be seen by as many people as possible each day. It will need to be as close to as many businesses as possible, because the employees of those businesses will visit that fast-food restaurant on a short lunch break. It will need an area with parking, and lots of traffic flow for drive-through service. Again, you need to examine your market and how clients can get to you.” “Higher visibility for retail, restaurants and other service industries could make a significant difference in the volume of work for a business,” says Hagen. “It really is all about location.”

“Higher visibility could make a significant difference in the volume of work for a business. It really is all about location.” ---- Nikki Hagen, Realtor with Century 21 Bessette Realty. Floyd says location was a factor in relocating Ingle Safari to Bayou Pines. “We needed to be closer to downtown,” he says. “A lot of our busier agents attend three to five closings every week. And attorneys tend to gravitate toward downtown. Being easily accessible to the attorneys we work with for closings is a definite plus.” Identifying the reasons for a move will help in choosing the new location. Take into consideration your wish list, but be flexible. Would you like to have a roomy foyer for greeting clients? That makes sense if you have many visitors each day, but it could be wasted space if meetings are usually held outside the office. Is a fully equipped kitchen and break room really a necessity? Or would it encourage your employees to take too many coffee breaks instead of staying focused on their tasks? If you have your eye on the up-andcoming area of the city, ask yourself if your business would truly benefit from the location, or are most of your customers located in another part of town? In some cases, you might want to reach out to new clientele, or grow your busi-

ness to include a new demographic. Is the need for more parking an issue? How about security? “There are many questions to consider when it comes to a new location. In most cases, there are no wrong or right answers,” Hagen says. “Knowing why you need to move will help ensure the new location is a good fit.” Once you decide to make the move, enlisting a Realtor will help you juggle the demands of searching for properties while running your business. “A Realtor can help you analyze that jigsaw puzzle,” says Grubb. “He or she will bring up questions and issues you might not have even thought of. And don’t forget that the business owner is not only having to answer these questions, and analyze all of the pieces of the puzzle, but is also trying to keep his business running. A Realtor can take a lot of the burden off of the business owner.” The Realtor also has many tools available, Grubb says, that the average business owner doesn’t. “We can obtain traffic flow counts; we know what properties are available; and we even know how to approach owners of properties that might be ideal for your business, but are not for sale because the owner hasn’t even considered selling.” “A Realtor can help you avoid buying an overpriced property with unseen flaws,” says Floyd. “And a Realtor can help walk you through the process of buying and closing on a property.” “Realtors can scout the locations, match each property against what you’re looking for, and eliminate the ones that don’t measure up,” Hagen says. “You stay focused on your business, and you won’t waste your time going all over town looking at properties that won’t work.” Once you’ve chosen the new location, Hagen says, the move is a great time to renew your image. “It’s a new page — a great time to polish up your logo, invest in new equipment, and give your business a thorough inspection to see what you might need to upgrade,” she said. “Depending on the type of business you have, you’ll need to get new stationary, forms or other printed materials, so it’s a great time to update your image.”

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LAGNIAPPE

BUYING A BRAND NEW HOME

ome new home buyers don’t want a used house. They don’t want to inherit somebody else’s worn carpeting and personal taste in kitchen appliances; they don’t want to look at some kid’s initials scrawled into once-wet cement. For some, the new home must be brand spankin’ new — fresh and clean without so much as a fingerprint on the walls. If you’ve always fantasized about buying the brand new home of your dreams, here are a few tips that can help you to protect yourself and make the process a pleasant experience.

Hire Your Own Agent The builder’s sales agents are paid to represent the builder, regardless of what they may tell you. Many will use high pressure tactics to persuade you to sign the contract. Due to the high-volume nature of brand new home sales, lots of builder’s agents are paid less than a traditional commission; some earn a salary plus incentives, so turnover is important to their livelihood. Hire a buyer’s agent to represent you. Most of the time, your agent will be paid by the seller, but sometimes the responsibility for the agent’s fee is open for discussion. Even if you have to directly pay your agent, you can probably add that fee to the sales price, and it would be worth it, because a buyer’s agent who’s a good

negotiator can save you thousands more than the commission. Your own agent will represent you, will be your fiduciary, and will be required to disclose the positives as well as the negatives about the transaction. Builder’s agents don’t discuss drawbacks. If your contract contains a contingency to sell your existing home before buying, hire your own seller’s agent to list your home. Be aware that buying before selling is not always in your best interest, because hard bargaining goes out the window when you’ve emotionally moved out of your home.

Using A Lender Builders often prefer to use their own lender, because that way the builder will be kept fully informed of your personal progress; it’s one-stop shopping for a builder. But a builder’s lender might not offer you the best deal. Moreover, the builder may own the lending company. Consider alternate sources to find a lender. Your own bank or credit union might offer you very attractive rates and terms, based on your banking history with that institution. Your agent may refer you to his or her private list of wholesale lenders. Shop around, and interview your lender. Find a banker or mortgage broker whom you can trust and with whom you feel comfortable doing business. Ask to see a copy of your credit

report and FICO scores. You can order your own free credit report before shopping for a new home. Insist that your lender guarantee its good faith estimate. If the lender balks or makes excuses, go elsewhere, because reputable lenders will honor that request, even though it’s not required by law.

Verify Options And Upgrades Determine which options and upgrades you want. Bear in mind that, for many builders, the profit margin is highest in upgrades. Some builders can sell a home for almost bare construction cost because they make the bulk of their profit in the upgrades. Find out whether your lender will lend on all the options and upgrades you have chosen. If your lender will not finance 100 percent of your selections, you will be required to pay for it in cash. Ask about cancellations and whether you will be held liable for items the builder cannot return to a vendor. Some contracts give the builder the right to choose your upgrades if you do not submit your request within a certain period of time.

To save money, consider which upgrades you could purchase and install yourself after the escrow closes. However, realize that some upgrades, such as CATV, DSS or security wiring inside the walls, are easier to do before construction.

Obtain Legal Advice Before you sign a purchase contract, talk to a real estate lawyer. Standard purchase agreements are designed to keep everybody out of court, but they don’t necessarily contain language that protects the buyer. Ask questions about removal of contingencies and your cancellation rights. Make sure you understand your liability and commitments. Find out if the materials used by the builder contain chemicals that are hazardous to your health. If your contract contains a warning about health issues, it’s probably because it’s a valid concern and other buyers have gone to court over it.

Check Builder’s Reputation If a buyer has a bad experience with a builder, the word spreads rapidly throughout a community. But you won’t know if a bad rep is because of an isolated experience or if the builder repeatedly brings bad publicity to itself without checking and verifying the public records for lawsuits. Talk to the neighbors, and scrutinize the construction quality of surrounding homes. Is the builder consistently building identical or larger homes in the area, or is construction lagging and the homes shrinking in size? Find out whether the builder sells to investors. Some builders require all their homes to be owner occupied. Others eagerly sell as much inventory to investors as profit margins will allow. If the market suddenly dips, investors are typically the first to bail and, besides, part of the reason you are buying in a new subdivision is to be surrounded by other buyers just like you, not tenants.

Hire A Home Inspector Always, always, always get a home inspection when you buy. Hire a licensed and accredited individual to perform the inspection — not your dad or your buddy contractor. Get a real inspector. Be there for the inspection, and ask questions, because even a new home can contain defects. The HVAC system might be too small, or the plumbing could be installed backwards. Construction workers make mistakes. (And let’s not even talk about the mustard-stained McDonald’s wrappers stuffed in wall cavities.) If the inspector calls for further inspection by another professional contractor, find out if the inspector is telling you there could be a serious issue or if the inspector isn’t licensed to address that issue. 38

LAGNIAPPE

June 20, 2013

LAGNIAPPE

TINY HOUSES ARE BECOMING BIG

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Now picture paying all the heating, air-conditioning, water and electric bills. Imagine paying for the general maintenance and upkeep. Oh, and let’s not forget taxes and insurance. Suddenly, your dream house is becoming a nightmare, right? Welcome to the tiny house movement.

Coming Home To A Tiny House Variously called a micro-house or a mini-home, these small-footprint estates are upending the stupefying rush to gargantuan McMansions that has defined suburban America since the 1970s, when the average new house was 1,780 square feet. By 2007, that size had exploded to more than 2,400 square feet. A quick glance at recent trends will tell you why people are falling in love with these 300-square-foot — and sometimes smaller — micro-houses. First of all, people are delaying having children, or deciding to have none at all. And few parents today are having families with more than three kids. In addition, many households today are made up of just one person. (Recent reports indicate almost half the residences in Manhattan are single-person households.) Children grow up and leave, spouses die, marriages end in divorce — the nuclear family as a domestic paradigm went away about the time Leave It To Beaver went off the air.

Furthermore, the burgeoning green movement has created an awareness of the immediate and long-term costs associated with the size, waste and energy consumption inherent in large houses. Add to this the growing realization that the price of gas and oil isn’t going down anytime soon, and you have a world crying out for less.

Some of the world’s most innovative designers and architects are creating tiny homes and mini-houses which can be as large as 600 square feet. What’s It Like Inside A Micro-House? Some of the world’s most innovative designers and architects are creating tiny homes and mini-houses that are sleek, attractive, comfortable, inexpensive and roomy enough for a couple — or, in some cases, a small family. Most of these micro-houses, which can be as large as 600 square feet, are one-room affairs. The bed either doubles as a sofa, is elevated in a loft — many small homes boast high ceilings — or somehow folds up or tucks away when not in use (like a Murphy bed). The kitchen sink and cabinetry are against one wall. Add a small table or desk, and voila — you’ve got everything you could need. And the bathroom? No, it’s not an outhouse. Most tiny house plans have a small but fully functional bathroom with a shower instead of a tub. As in the kitchen, bathroom fixtures and appliances are typically smaller in size, or may be eliminated entirely — dishwashers, for example, are usually absent in mini-house kitchens, as are full-size refrigerators. The upside of all this down-sizing is cost: Most tiny homes can be built for under $60,000, and some are as inexpensive as $30,000. That’s a far cry from the $200 per square foot that many builders charge for a typical suburban house, which can cost as much as $400,000 for a simple, three-bedroom home.

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LAGNIAPPE

Lindsey Janies Photography

icholas R. Spitzer has described rural South Louisiana as a cultural gumbo in which each of the different ingredients is identifiable, yet all have blended, affecting each other. A complex blend of French, Spanish, German, African, Irish and Native American influences created a unique regional culture. Yet, when one looks closer, one becomes aware of local variations. In spite of its deep French roots, South Louisiana is not a monolithic, homogeneous Francophonic culture. French traditional culture in Louisiana is largely contained in a great triangular area with its apex below Alexandria and its base

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Newcomers Guide stretching from New Orleans to Lake Charles. Small enclaves dominated by one or more of Louisiana’s French-influenced traditions exist, however, even in North Louisiana, near Natchitoches and Hebert in Caldwell Parish, along Bayou Pierre (the Rambin community) and in Big Island in Rapides Parish. The dominant regional culture of South Louisiana results from successive waves of French (Canadian traders, Acadians from Nova Scotia and New Brunswick, French royalists, Bonapartists, apolitical French civilians,

French soldiers, French from the West Indies); Spaniards (from Spain, the Adaeseños from Texas-Mexico, and the Isleños from the Canary Islands); Germans (arriving as early as the Spanish period and continuing into the nineteenth century); Irish; Africans and a variety of Caribbean transplants. Many of these groups blended with the Louisiana Native American groups (some aboriginal tribes and others who resettled in the area during the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries). Some Native Americans retain their

unique cultures, virtually unmodified by European contact. Many people think of South Louisiana as “Cajun,” the term being a local version of “Acadian.” Today’s Cajun culture resulted from the blending of several groups, primarily the Acadians, the descendants of French Acadians who were expelled from Nova Scotia by the British in 1755 and who began arriving in Louisiana in 1765. Two primary cultural regions exist within South Louisiana. While still basically French, the area east of the Atchafalaya Swamp and along the Mississippi River and Bayou Lafourche between Baton Rouge and New Orleans received a significant influx of wealthy lowland South planters of English descent. Those plantation owners influ-

Lindsey Janies Photography

enced the area in many ways, particularly by teaching their slaves English rather than French. Also, being closer to New Orleans and on major transportation routes, the Germans, Spanish, French, English, and later the “Kaintucks” (Americans from up the Mississippi River) were more cosmopolitan than people in the swamps and on the prairies to the west. A large number of Germans arrived during the Spanish period, settled upriver from New Orleans along the German Coast, and provided most of the vegetable crops needed by New Orleans. These Germans are not easily identified today, because they gradually assimilated into the dominant French culture, and many of their names were translated into French or English.

Cajuns And Creoles Living in relative isolation on the Louisiana bayous and the Southwest Louisiana prairie, and being the dominant cultural group, the French-speaking Acadians, French nationals, French royalists, and French army officers absorbed Germans, Spanish, British Americans and Native Americans who settled among them or married into their families. During the late 19th century, large numbers of midwesterners settled the Cajun prairie to take part in the newly developing rice industry and the railroads. Within a relatively short time, many were absorbed into Cajun culture. Today, many French-speaking people who identify themselves as Cajuns may have surnames such as Frey (German),

Smith (English), McGee (Irish) and Manuel or Rodrigue (Spanish) in addition to Acadian surnames such as Bergeron, Broussard, LeBlanc or Mire, and the French colonial army surnames of Fontenot or Fusilier. The French-speaking black Creoles of the Southwest Louisiana prairie lived alongside the Cajuns and were often free men of color and landowners. While remaining racially distinct from their Cajun neighbors, they share many cultur-

al traits, including the food, Mardi Gras, Catholicism, musical repertoire, and often the French or Creole language.

Music But one of their most significant contributions is zydeco, a distinctly black Creole music known for its blending of French songs and African and Caribbean rhythms. To be of African descent in South Louisiana certainly doesn’t presume a

French-speaking heritage. Englishspeaking blacks, many of whom descended from freed slaves, also made cultural contributions. For example, the zydeco repertoire shows heavy influence from deep South rhythm and blues. Many are aware that the Cajun and Creole cultures have contributed Cajun dance music, with two-steps, waltzes, and haunting ballads; and Creole zydeco music, with its African influence. But continued

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LAGNIAPPE

more recently — in the early 1950s — this unique cultural mix also created swamp pop, a regional variation of rhythm and blues music common throughout South Louisiana and into east Texas. Swamp pop combines rhythm and blues with Cajun and black Creole music and country and western. A strong horn section and honky-tonk piano characterizes this blend. The region also has a vital jazz community.

Food And Craft Cajuns and Creoles are as well known to outsiders for their special foods as for the distinctive music. A delectable array of dishes (crawfish étouffée, gumbo,

Newcomers Guide bisque, sauce piquante, jambalaya) can be found in the region. Many restaurants and dance halls provide Cajun and Creole music for both tourists and locals. Saturdays often mean jam sessions, radio shows or dances for Cajun music lovers. Outsiders seldom know about Cajun and Creole crafts, such as cowhide chair bottoms, wooden boats (skiffs, luggers, pirogues), Acadian brown cotton weaving, accordion building, fiddlemaking and the making of Job’s Tears rosaries,

as well as lesser known food delicacies, such as langue boureé (stuffed beef tongue) or chaudin (sausage-stuffed pork stomach).

English Speech Some communities in South Louisiana have always been predominantly English-speaking. Fishing and gathering settlements in the Atchafalaya Basin were different from those on the bayous and prairies to the east and west. Many of these English-speaking, predominate-

ly white communities relocated to the levees surrounding the basin when the U.S. Corps of Engineers transformed the basin for flood control. Many individuals also moved to the Morgan City area, which was primarily English-speaking. Other English-speaking people in Morgan City came from the Carolinas’ coastal fishing communities and became shrimpers or menhaden (“poggie”) fishermen.

Independent Ethnic Groups South Louisiana also has pockets of ethnic groups that have resisted total absorption by French/Cajun culture. In St. Bernard Parish, the Isleños are descended from Canary Islanders who settled the area in the 1760s. They continue to retain their archaic Spanish dialect and perpetuate the singing of décimas (narrative songs). In Acadia Parish, the Germans of Robert’s Cove, who settled the area during the 19th century, begin the Christmas season with a procession on December 5, the eve of the religious feast of St. Nicholas. St. Nick, Lil’ Black Peter, Santa Claus and the church choir visit German homes in the community. Croatians from the Dalmatian Coast settled in Plaquemines Parish; introduced the oystering industry; and continue to control it. These groups remain culturally distinct after more than 100 years of Louisiana residency.

Catholicism Throughout South Louisiana and New Orleans, Catholicism, the dominant religion since colonial times, is shared by many cultural groups. As a result, cultural or folk Catholicism, which incorporates the culturally specific religious traditions of each group, has contributed practices that persist today. For example, on November 7, New Orleanian Nicaraguans build home altars for La Purissima, the Feast of the Blessed Mother. And in Cajun and Creole prairie communities, Mardi Gras, Fat Tuesday, is observed with le courrir de Mardi Gras (Mardi Gras run), which is made by community members who proceed from house to house on horseback or by truck to gather ingredients for a communal gumbo — one last good meal and lively party before the solemn observance of Lent begins on Ash Wednesday. Information provided by the Louisiana Division of the Arts Folklife Program. You can find many resources about Louisiana folklife online at www. Louisianafolklife.org.

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Lindsey Janies Photography

A Newcomer’s Guide To The Necessities (And Pleasures) Of Life In The Lake Area If you’ve just relocated to the Southwest Louisiana region, or are considering a move to the area, you’ll quickly find that lifelong residents are a fun-loving, contented lot for the most part. And why not? Combine a mild winter climate that allows for year-round outdoor activity; a heritage and tradition rich in festivals, parades and parties; one of the most renowned regional cuisines in the U.S.; and an ever-expanding recreation, dining and shopping scene; and you have an area anyone would be glad to call home. To ease your transition into the SWLA way of life, Lagniappe offers the following Newcomer’s Guide. In the next few pages, you’ll find contact information for services and products, schools, recreational opportunities and more. Here’s all you need to know to make your move to our neck of the woods a smooth one.

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Vital Statistics (Calcasieu Parish) Created: 1840, from the Parish of St. Landry. The original Calcasieu Parish was subsequently divided into five smaller parishes. Population (2010 Census): 192, 768 Households (20062010): 71,601 Home Ownership Rate (2006-2010): 71.9 percent Median Value of housing units: $109, 400

Population (2011): 72,177 Size: 40.2 square miles Median Household Income (2009): $34,304 Median House Value: $111,400

population: Houston, Texas, 152 miles Nearby Communities: Westlake (4.2 miles), Sulphur (10.5 miles), Moss Bluff (6.6 miles), Iowa (13.4 miles) — From city-data.com, based on the 2010 census.

Newcomers Guide

Vital Statistics (Lake Charles) Founded: Incorporated as Charleston, La., on March 7,1861; incorporated as Lake Charles, La., on March 16,1867.

Median Rental Rate: $671 Climate: Average high temperature, January: 50.7; average high temperature, August: 91.3; average low temperature, January: 41.l; average low temperature, August: 73.4; average monthly precipitation: 4.6 inches. Nearest City with 200,000-plus Population: Baton Rouge, 143.1 miles Nearest City with 1,000,000-plus

Government Officials

Lake Charles City Hall: P.O. Box 900 (326 Pujo St.), 491-1200, cityoflakecharles.com Lake Charles Mayor: Randy Roach (491-1201) City Council President: Mark Eckard (474-3976) Calcasieu Parish Administrator: Bryan Beam (1015 Python St., 721-3500) Calcasieu Parish Police Jury President: Shannon Spell, Moss Bluff (217-0209)

Calcasieu Parish Sheriff: Tony Mancuso (5400 E. Broad St., Lake Charles, 491-3700) Calcasieu Tax Assessor: Wendy Aguillard, 721-3000) Calcasieu Parish Clerk of Court: Lynn Jones (1000 Ryan St., 437-3461) District Attorney: John DeRosier

Licensing/Registration Vehicles: To register a vehicle or apply for a license, call the Louisiana Office of Motor Vehicles at 225-925-6146. Local DMV offices include: — Lake Charles: 951 Main St., 4912533 — Sulphur: 940 Beglis Pkwy., 6250304 — License: New residents are required to obtain a Louisiana license within 60 days of establishing residency. Proof of identity is required. Any out-of-state license must be turned in; it is illegal in the state to have more than one driver’s license. You must be 15 to obtain a Louisiana driver’s license. Anyone between 15-18 must be accompanied by a legal guardian, who must sign for the license. Students applying for a first license are required to bring state birth certificate, Social Security card and certification of completion of driving course (must have passed at least 36 hours). Fee for four-year license is $22.50 cash. — Registration: New residents are required to register vehicles with the state within 30 days of establishing residency, and after securing a state driver’s license. Required documentation: current title issued by state of previous residence, lienholder form showing financial information (if lien is held on vehicle) and proof of liability insurance. Fee for title is $18.50, and may be paid by check. The fee for a four-year truck license plate is $40. Safety inspection stickers can be issued after license is issued. For nearest safety inspection location, call 491-2011. Voting: The Parish Registrar of Voter’s Office is in the Parish Courthouse, located at 1000 Ryan St., room 7. Phone: 437-3572 To register to vote, residents must show proof of residency (driver’s license, rent receipt, utility bill), and must answer questions regarding information such as name, date of birth, Social Security number, sex, names of parents, etc. New voters must register at least 24 days prior to general elections, and at least 30 days prior to primary elections. Boats: Boats must be registered with the Louisiana Dept. of Wildlife and Fisheries, located at 1213 N. Lakeshore Drive. Forms may be obtained through local boat dealers, or by calling the Dept. of Wildlife and Fisheries at 491-2580.

Utilities Electric: — Entergy (Lake Charles): (800) 3683749 — Sulphur (Entergy): 800-368-3749 or 337-882-0454 Iowa: 800-368-3749 Moss Bluff (Beauregard Electric): 337-855-6684 or 800-368-3749 Westlake (Beauregard Electric): 800368-3749 Natural Gas: — Lake Charles (Centerpoint Energy): (800) 477-0177 48

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— Sulphur: 337-625-4171 — Westlake: 337-433-0691 — Iowa: 800-477-0177 — Moss Bluff: 337-433-0691 Telephone: — Bellsouth: (800) 757-6500 — Cameron Communications: (800) 737-4900 Cable: — Cameron Communications: (800) 737-4900 (Sulphur, Moss Bluff) — Comcast: (866) 774-3128 (Westlake, Moss Bluff) — Lake Charles (Suddenlink): 1538 E. Prien Lake Road, 337-477-9674 — Sulphur (Suddenlink): 337-5276747 Water: — City of Lake Charles Water

Division: City Hall, first floor, 326 Pujo St., 491-1307 — Sulphur: 527-4500 — Westlake: 433-0691 — Carlyss: 583-2777 — Iowa: 582-3535

Trash Collection City of Lake Charles: The city’s Solid Waste Division of the Public Works Dept. collects garbage and debris weekly. For service information or waste containers, call 491-1220. ACI Services: 337-480-0000 Allied Waste (Sulphur): 337-8821477 Jim Bill Disposal: 337-753-2082 Progressive: 337-436-2161 Southern Solid Waste: 337-433-5158

Waste Management (SWLA): 800284-2451

Education Lake Charles and the immediate surrounding area have 44 elementary schools, 12 secondary schools, 12 private schools, two charter schools (with a third opening this fall), a private business college, a vocational/technical community college and a university. Student enrollment citywide is 33,169, with a student teacher ratio of 21:1 in grades K-8, and 19:1 in high schools. Calcasieu Parish Public Schools: — Main office: 330 Broad St., Lake Charles; 217-4000; cpsb.org — Superintendent: Wayne Savoy, 217-4000, ext. 1703 — School Board President: Bill

Jongbloed, 478-4909. The public school system operates 33 elementary schools, 13 middle schools, 12 high schools and three continuing education/vocational/special education schools. School terms normally begin during mid-August, and end in the latter part of May. Children must be five years old by Sept. 30 of the school year to enroll in kindergarten. Bus service is provided for students living more than one mile from their assigned school. — Documentation necessary for enrollment: certified birth certificate and child’s social security card; La. health card (available from physicians or parish health unit); school records from last school attended; proof of custody or guardianship. continued

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Newcomers Guide Catholic Diocese of Lake Charles: The diocese operates eight schools in the area, including several offering classes from grades K-8, and one high school. — Diocese of Lake Charles: 414 Iris St., Lake Charles; 439-7400; lcdiocese.org. Other private schools: — Episcopal Day School (grades preK through 8): 715 Kirkman St., 433-5246 — Hamilton Christian Academy (K12): 1415 8th St., 439-1178 — Lakewood Christian Academy (K12): 2520 W. Sale Rd., 477-0531 — St. Luke Simpson (pre-school): 1500 Country Club Rd., 474-0728 — Parkview Christian School (Sulphur): 337-527-7089 Charter schools: — Lake Charles Charter Academy: 475-7900 — Southwest Louisiana Charter Academy: 475-7910 Delta School of Business and Technology: — Admissions office: 517 Broad St., 439-5765, deltatech.edu. Delta Tech offers curricula leading to associate’s degrees or diplomas in business-related areas, such as accounting, administrative assistance and medical office management. SOWELA Technical Community College: — 3820 Sen. J. Bennett Johnston Ave., 491-2698, sowela.net. SOWELA offers associate’s degrees in areas such as criminal justice, computer programming, commercial art and aviation maintenance and repair, and also offers diplomas in vocational/technical courses (such as culinary arts and occupations), and collision repair and technology. McNeese State University — P.O. Box 92495 (Ryan St.), 4755151 (registrar’s office), mcneese.edu. McNeese, founded in 1939 as a twoyear junior college, has an enrollment of over 8,400 and offers around 100 degree programs.

Daycare — Glad Tidings Preschool: 337-4789241 — Little Learners Montessori School (Sulphur): 337-625-9357 — Kids Place (Moss Bluff): 1776 Heard Road, 855-6737 — Happy Days Daycare: 904 E. Prien Lake Road, 477-7855 — Angels Among Us Childcare Center: 2508 Common St., 436-5437 — Gwen’s Little Angels Home Daycare: 1904 9th St., 497-1147 — Explore N More Learning Center (Sulphur): 943 Prater St., 533-2098

Churches There are 182 churches in the area, representing 39 different denominations.

Health/Hospitals Physician Referral: — Physician Referral Service: 4783780 Hospitals: — Women and Children’s Hospital: 4200 Nelson Rd., 474-6370 — Lake Charles Memorial Hospital: 50

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1701 Oak Park Blvd., 494-3000; Gauthier Campus (women’s services, birthing center), 480-7000 — Christus St. Patrick Hospital: 524 Dr. Michael Debakey Dr., 436-2511 — West Calcasieu Cameron Hospital (Sulphur): 701 E. Cypress St., 527-7034 Fitness Centers: — Christus Athletic Club: 4429 Nelson Road, 474-6601 — Gigi’s Downtown: 707 Ryan St., 310-5110 — Dynamic Dimensions: 602 Sam Houston Jones Pkwy., Moss Bluff, 8557587; 545 Cypress St., Sulphur, 527-5459 — LA Fitness: 4324 Lake St., 4788686 — The Gym: 3701 5th Ave., 4792202 — Project Fit: 528 7th St., 274-7988 — Planet Fitness: 4068 Ryan St., 5646781 — Snap Fitness: 2724 Country Club Road, 478-4525 — CrossFit Lake Charles: 426 Broad St., 721-3262 — Anytime Fitness, Lake Charles: 630 W. Prien Lake Road, 478-2727 — Anytime Fitness (Moss Bluff): 277 Hwy. 171 N., suites 5-7, 855-2777 — Curves for Women: 605 W. College St., 479-2477 — YMCA, Albert St., 436-2509

Transportation: Air: — Lake Charles Regional Airport (United Airlines service to Houston, American Airlines service to Dallas, car rentals, aviation services): 477-5061, flylakecharles.com — Chennault Industrial Airpark: Air facilities, cargo services, aviation services, industrial sites: 3650 J. Bennett Johnston Ave., 491-9961 Bus Service: — City Transit System: Four fixed routes throughout Lake Charles; service provided Monday-Friday 5:45 am-5:45 pm; call the Lake Charles Transit Customer Center, 1155 Ryan St., at 491-1253. — Greyhound Bus Lines: 3034 Legion St., 439-4588 Train: — Amtrak (Sunset Ltd., service from Orlando-Los Angeles): 100 Ryan St., (800) 872-7245

Recreation Gaming/Casino: The area is home to three casinos: — Isle of Capri Hotel and Casino: Restaurants, casinos, two hotels with pool and fitness center, I-10 Exit 27 (100 Westlake Ave.), 430-2400 — L’Auberge Casino and Resort: Nation’s largest single-level riverboat casino, 26-story hotel complex, golf course, lazy river, spa and fitness center, restaurants, barber shop, retail stores, 395-7777 — Delta Downs Racetrack and Casino (Hwy. 3063, I-10 E Exit 4, I-10 W Exit 7, Vinton): thoroughbred horse racing, slot machines, hotel, three restaurants, (800) 589-7441 Restaurants: Here is data from urbanspoon.com on what the SWLA/Lake Charles Convention

Newcomers Guide and Visitors Bureau listed as the top 20 area restaurants in a recent issue of its Gator Gram magazine. The first three restaurants are the top three ranked; others are listed alphabetically. All are located in Lake Charles unless otherwise noted. — Steamboat Bills (seafood, Cajun/Creole): 1004 N. Lakeshore Drive, 494-1070 — Luna Bar and Grill (seafood, sandwiches/subs): 719 Ryan St., 494-5862 — Pat’s of Henderson (seafood, Cajun/Creole): 1500 Seibarth Drive, 4396618 — 121 Artisan Bistro (Italian/American): 121 Dr. Michael Debakey Drive, 310-7499 — Casa Manana (Mexican): 2510 Ryan St., 433-4112 — Coyote Blues (Mexican, Southwestern, Cajun/Creole): 3624 Ryan St., 502-5131 — Darrell’s (sandwiches/subs, sports bar): 119 W. College St., 474-3651 — El Tapatio (Mexican): 2624 Gerstner Memorial Drive, 475-9022 — Harlequin Steaks and Seafood: 501 W. College St., 439-2780 — Hollier’s Cajun Kitchen (Southern/Soul, Cajun/Creole): 1709 Ruth St., Sulphur, 527-0061 — Macfarlane’s Celtic Pub (European, pub food, sandwiches/subs): 417 Ann St., 433-5992 — Mazen’s Mediterranean Foods (steaks, seafood, Mediterranean): 217 W.

College St., 477-8207 — O’Charley’s (American, burgers): 1780 W. Prien Lake Rd., 478-9927 — Pitt Grill (American, breakfast/brunch, diner): 602 W. Prien Lake Rd., 564-6724 — Pujo Street Cafe (Cajun/Creole, seafood): 901 Ryan St., 439-2054 — Seafood Palace: 2218 Enterprise Blvd., 433-9293 — Sha Sha’s of Creole (Cajun/Creole, steaks, seafood): 609 Ryan St., 494-7227 — Southern Spice Restaurant and Grill (American, Southern/Soul, breakfast/brunch): 3901 Ryan St., 4746065 — Texas Roadhouse (American, steaks): 3431 Nelson Road, 478-7244 — Tony’s Pizza (Italian, sandwiches/subs): 335 E. Prien Lake Road, 477-1611 For the family: — Millennium Park (Lakeshore Drive, adjacent to Civic Center, 800-456-7952): playground equipment including pirate ship, tunnel slide, small children area — Children’s Museum (327 Broad St., Lake Charles, 433-9420): hands-on educational exhibits and activities — Putt-Putt Fun Center (620 Petro Point Drive, Lake Charles, 480-1954): miniature golf, batting cage, concessions — Skate City (4720 Nelson Road, Lake Charles, 474-2855): skate sessions, birthday parties, concessions continued

DIOCESE OF LAKE CHARLES OFFICE OF CATHOLIC SCHOOLS 1112 Bilbo, Lake Charles, LA 70601

337-433-9640 Ext. 200 The Most Reverend Glen John Provost, Bishop of Lake Charles Mrs. Kimberlee Gazzolo, Superintendent of Catholic Schools

"ACHIEVING ACADEMIC EXCELLENCE THROUGH LEADERSHIP, UNITY AND SERVICE"

IMMACULATE CONCEPTION CATHEDRAL CATHOLIC SCHOOL 1536 Ryan Street, Lake Charles, LA 70601 • (337) 433-3497 • www.iccschool.org

OUR LADY IMMACULATE CATHOLIC SCHOOL 600 Roberts Avenue, Jennings, LA 70546 • (337) 824-1743 • www.olischool.org

OUR LADY’S CATHOLIC SCHOOL 1111 Cypress Street, Sulphur, LA 70663 • (337) 527-7828 • www.olcs.org

OUR LADY QUEEN OF HEAVEN CATHOLIC SCHOOL 3908 Creole Street, Lake Charles, LA 70605 • (337) 477-7333 • www.olqhs.org

SAINT MARGARET OF SCOTLAND CATHOLIC SCHOOL 2510 Enterprise Boulevard, Lake Charles, LA 70601 • (337) 436-7959 • www.stmcs.com

SAINT THEODORE’S HOLY FAMILY CATHOLIC SCHOOL 785 Sam Houston Jones, Lake Charles, LA 706l1 • (337) 855-9465 • www.sthfcs.com

SAINT LOUIS CATHOLIC HIGH SCHOOL 1620 Bank Street, Lake Charles, LA 70601 • (337) 436-7275 • www.slchs.org

STATEMENT OF NONDISCRIMINATION POLICY The Catholic Schools of the Diocese of Lake Charles do not discriminate on the basis of race, sex, national or ethnic origin. June 20, 2013

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Newcomers Guide — Petro Bowl (630 Petro Point Drive, Lake Charles, 477-7554): kids summer leagues, birthday parties, family night — Chuck E’ Cheese (3221 E. Prien Lake Road, adjacent to Power Center Shopping Center, 477-2189): pizza, video games, activities — Sulphur Parks and Recreation Aquatic Center (933 Parish Road, Sulphur, 721-3040, sulphurparks.com): two outdoor swimming pools, indoor Olympic swimming pool, water slides, game room and kid zone — Drew Park (416 Ryan St., 4911280): play gyms; swings; walking trail; rec center with pool tables, table and video games, TV, snack machine; tennis — Adventure Cove Park (3200 Power Centre Pkwy.): first barrier free park in Lake Charles — Pinederosa Park Interactive Water Spray Area (Pinderosa Park, 2901 Westwood Road, Westlake, 436-1124) — Ripperz Skate Park (650 Petro Pointe Drive, 479-7581) — Wheelers Family Entertainment Center Skate Center (1130 Hwy. 171 North, Moss Bluff, 855-3234 Movie Theaters: — United Artists Lake Charles 10: 3416 Derek Drive, 477-0234 — Cinemark (458 W. Prien Lake Road, Prien Lake Mall, 562-0050): 14 screens

Outdoors

Lindsey Janies Photography

Hiking/Camping: Nearby Sam Houston Jones State Park (Moss Bluff area): approximately nine miles of hiking and biking trails throughout the park, tent camping facilities, RV spots with full hookup, pavilions, covered picnic and barbecue areas, nature museum, playground, and fishing ponds are also available. (NOTE: Trails and tent camping facilities are closed temporarily due to damage from Hurricane Rita.) — Niblett’s Bluff Park (west of Vinton): cabins, camp sites on the Sabine River —Yogi Bear’s Jellystone Park offers tent sites, cabins, RV sites, children’s activities, canoeing, paddle boats and swimming areas — Several parks with boat launches (see below) also have tent sites and camping areas. Boating: The area is a boater’s dream. The Calcasieu River is perfect for

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skiing/tubing, canoeing/kayaking or a leisurely tour in a pontoon boat. Lake Charles is a small sheltered bay off the Calcasieu River, fronting the Lake Charles Civic Center. It’s great for sailing, jet skiing, windsurfing and skiing. It boasts two white sand beaches (one, the North Beach, on I-10, and another, Israel LaFleur Beach, off I-210. It is also home of the Lake Charles Yacht Club (located west of the North Beach, 433-9257) which has storage for small sailboats as well as slips for larger sail craft. There are too many small areas to list, including two major wildlife reserves with waterways, and Lorrain Park (7803 Lorrain Road in Hayes, 622-3776), which takes boaters past the picturesque old Lorrain Bridge, built in 1895, reconstructed in 1920 and currently being restored. The park also has tent sites, nine RV sites and a pavilion. Other parks and recreation areas with boat launches include: — Calcasieu Point Landing (3955 Henry Pugh Road, Lake Charles): threelane boat launch, store — Holbrook Park (1868 Holbrook Park Road, Sulphur, 527-7605): boat launch onto Calcasieu River, small lake off the Calcasieu (open to non-motorcraft only), tent camping, RV sites, playground, picnic areas — Intracoastal Park (7055 Intracoastal Park Road, Sulphur, 762-3182): two boat launches with wharves onto the Intracoastal Waterway, tent sites, 19 RV sites, picnic tables, pavilion, playground center — Riverside Park (1700 Miller Ave., Westlake, 437-3620): boat launch onto Calcasieu River, wharf, picnic tables — White Oak Park (5584 River Road, Lake Charles, 433-5104): boat launch onto Calcasieu River, wharf, tent camp sites, RV sites, picnic tables with barbecue pits, pavilion, playground — Bundick Lake: Located southwest of DeRidder on La. 394, seven miles east of Hwy. 171 — Cameron Prairie National Wildlife Refuge (1428 Hwy. 27, about 16 miles south of Holmwood): visitors center, boardwalk into marsh, drive trail — Sabine National Wildlife Refuge (3000 Hwy. 27, eight miles south of Hackberry, 337-762-3816): visitor center, boardwalk through marsh Hunting/Fishing: Hunting licenses are available at area sports retailers, by calling (888) 765-2602,

or through the Dept. of Wildlife and Fisheries (wlf.state.la.us/apps). Resident basic hunting license (required to hunt small game) is $15; resident big-game license (deer, turkey) is $14; bow hunting is $10.50. Find more info at the dept. Web site (address above) or visit lagameandfish.com. Driving Tours: — Creole Nature Trail All American Road (Lake Charles, Cameron, Holly Beach, Hackberry, Sulphur): 180 miles of unspoiled Louisiana coastal wilderness; highlights include Sabine National Wildlife Refuge (walkways, viewing platforms), Cameron, Holleyman-Sheely Bird Sanctuary (nearby), Holly Beach; more information at creolenaturetrail.org. (Note: Portions of the trail received extensive damage from Hurricane Rita. At press time, all wildlife refuges are open except Sabine NWR. Also, there are no stores, restaurants or gas stations available south of Hackberry on Hwy. 27, Hwy. 27 to Cameron Parish NWR, or on Hwy. 82 from the Texas border to the Vermilion Parish line. For more information, visit creolenaturetrail.org or call the SWLA Convention and Visitors Bureau at 337436-9588.) — State Scenic Byways: There are numerous area routes designated scenic byways, and all give you a chance to experience Louisiana’s small towns, historical spots and unique cultural areas. Routes include the Creole Nature Trail All American Road (Cameron, Hackberry, Creole), Jean LaFitte Scenic Byway (Holmwood, Lafayette, Pecan Island) and the Real French Destination Scenic Byway (Opelousas, Lafayette, Abbeville). Visit louisianadaytours.com/aascenichwy for a complete list. Golf: — Gray Plantation: 6150 Graywood Pkwy., Lake Charles, 562-1663 — Mallard Cove: Chennault Air Park, 491-1204 — Pine Shadows: 750 N. Goodman Road, 433-8681 — Lake Charles Country Club (private): 3350 Country Club Road, 477-0047 — New Moon Drive-In Range: 4200 Gerstner Memorial Drive, 480-0700 — Frasch Park Golf Club: 400 Picard Road, Sulphur, 527-2515 — National Golf Club of Louisiana (Westlake): 1400 National Drive, 4332255 — Contraband Bayou Golf Club At L’Auberge Casino and Resort: 777 Ave. L’Auberge, 866-580-7444 — Bayou Oaks Country Club Golf Course (Sulphur): 2300 Bonvie Drive, 5837129 Parks/Recreation Areas — Tuten Park (3741 Nelson Road in Lake Charles): playground equipment, picnic areas — Millennium Park (See above in Kids’ Entertainment): playground equipment, benches — McMurry Park (300 Hazel St., Sulphur, 625-2508): gymnasium, baseball and tennis facilities, roller hockey rink, softball/baseball fields, soccer fields, concession stands, walking/jogging path, golf course, driving range. — Frasch Park (400 Picard Road, Sulphur): gymnasium, volleyball courts, ball fields, swimming pools, tennis courts, batting cage, picnic tables, pavilion, playground, conference room, walking/jogging path continued June 20, 2013

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Newcomers Guide — Mallard Junction Park (3913 Opelousas St., Lake Charles, 437-3620): playground equipment, baseball fields, pavilion, walking track, — Brentwood Park (Brentwood St., Lake Charles): ball fields, playground, pavilion, walking/jogging track, tennis courts, picnic areas — Drew Park (416 S. Ryan St.): play area, community center, walking/jogging track, tennis courts, picnic tables, family community center — Huber Park (2401 Fourth Ave., Lake Charles.): play area, restrooms, ball fields, playground — Lock Park (1535 Ryan St., Lake Charles): play area/playground, picnic tables, pavilion For more information, call the city Recreation and Parks Dept. at 491-1280.

Arts/Culture Museums: — Brimstone Museum (900 S. Huntington St., Sulphur, 527-6100): housed in the Old Southern Pacific Railway Depot; houses seasonal exhibits ranging from the history of the area to national exhibits — Imperial Calcasieu Museum (204 W. Sallier St., Lake Charles, 439-3797): houses historical records, paintings, sculptures — Artisans’ Gallery (in Imperial Calcasieu Museum, 204 W. Sallier St., 439-3793): work of more than 30 area artisans — pottery, glass, sculpture, paintings, furniture — Mardi Gras Museum of Imperial Calcasieu (809 Kirby St., second floor, 430-0043): display of Mardi Gras memorabilia, including largest costume display in the state — Abercrombie Gallery, McNeese State University (MSU Campus, Shearman Fine Arts Bldg., room 124, 475-5060): 12 art exhibits annually, student and faulty exhibits, national exhibits — 1911 City Hall Arts and Cultural Center (corner of Ryan and Kirby Sts., 4919147): rotating art and cultural exhibits — Assoc. La. Artists Gallery by the Lake (106 Lawrence St., 436-1008): local, regional works, classes, gift shop — Frame House Gallery: 1640 Ryan, 433-5530 — Art Associates Gallery (in Central School Humanities Center): 439-2787 (ARTS) — Alexander Art Studio (in Central School Center): 370-9192 or 433-2299 Arts Organizations: — The Arts Council of Southwest Louisiana (809 Kirby, suite 202, 439ARTS): arts information clearinghouse, grants programs, arts advocacy, training, programs, gallery space, quarterly arts newsletter Theatre: — Artists Civic Theatre and Studios Theatre (ACTS): One Reid St., 433-2287 — Lake Charles Little Theatre: 813 Enterprise Blvd., 433-7988 — McNeese Theatre (Shearman Fine Arts Bldg., McNeese Campus, 475-5043): four productions per season, scholarships — Children’s Theatre Company: (809 Kirby St., 433-7323): Productions, classes,

theater camps for students ages 5-18 Dance: — Lake Charles Civic Ballet: 4331125: based at Lady Leah La Farque Hathaway School of Dance in Lake Charles. Music: — Lake Charles Symphony (809 Kirby St., 433-1611): four performances per season — Lake Charles Community Band (474-7968): volunteer band, performs at Civic Center, Central School Arts and Humanities Center Coliseums/Auditoriums: — Lake Charles Civic Center (Rosa Hart Theatre, Sudduth Coliseum): 900 Lakeshore Drive, Lake Charles, 491-1256 — McNeese State University (Bulber Auditorium, Ralph Squires Auditorium): Bulber Auditorium seats 1,200; Ralph Squires seats 260 and houses McNeese Theatre Dept. productions — Burton Coliseum: 7001 Gulf Hwy., 562-4040

Shopping — Prien Lake Mall (496 W. Prien Lake Road): Sears, Dillard’s, JC Penny’s, others — Lake Charles Power Center (Derek Dr., I-210 Cameron Exit): Wal-Mart Supercenter, Lowe’s, PetsMart, Toys R’ Us, Circuit City, Home Depot, Academy Sports, Old Navy, Michael’s Hobby and Crafts, others — Southgate Shopping Center: (Ryan and Alamo Sts.): Market Basket, Books-AMillion UPS Store, Office Depot, others — Target Shopping Center (Nelson Street, I-210): Target, Bed, Bath and Beyond, West Marine, Marshal’s, others — Cottage Shops (Alamo and Hodges Sts.): small, unique shops — gifts, crafts, clothing.

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Your Disaster Kit You have to pick and choose when you move or evacuate under threatening conditions. You’ll primarily want to focus on supplies that will keep you and your family safe and healthy for up to a week.

YOUR SUPPLIES SHOULD CONTAIN THE FOLLOWING: • One gallon of water per day per person. • Enough food to keep the family nourished for a week. Good foodstuffs for travel include canned foods and juices. Remember to take special foods for infants, the ill or the elderly. Be sure to bring a can opener, paper plates, plastic utensils and paper cups. • Blankets and pillows. • Clothing appropriate for wet conditions. • A first aid kit, along with such basic medicines as aspirin or antacids. • Any prescription drugs required by any members of the family. • Special care items required for infants or the elderly.

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• Toilet paper. • Soap and other hygiene items, including moisture wipes. • Powerful flashlights. • Extra batteries. • Extra sets of keys. • A few favorite toys, books and games for each child. • Important documents it would be difficult or impossible to replace. These should be kept in a watertight container. • Numbers for your insurance policies, bank accounts, etc. • Basic tools. • For pets, bring identification, papers, immunization records, meds, a carrier, a leash and adequate food. Be sure to fill up the tanks of all vehicles at the first indication that a hurricane may be headed your way. Finally, be sure you know the difference between a hurricane watch and a hurricane warning. Warnings are more severe. A watch indicates it’s time to double-check the items in your kit and load them up. When you hear a hurricane warning, it’s time to move and put your plan in action.

After The Storm

• Stay out of disaster areas which could be dangerous and where your presence will interfere with essential rescue and recovery work. Do not drive unless you must. Roads should be left clear for emergency vehicles and debris removal equipment. Remember, debris-filled streets are dangerous. • Along the coast, soil may erode beneath pavement or bridge supports, which could collapse under the weight of a car. Be wary of inland flooding. Citizens returning home should expect the worst and take precautions to ensure their safety. • Do not use the telephone except for major emergencies. • Beware of loose or dangling power lines. Many lives are lost through electrocution.

• Walk or drive cautiously. • Watch out for snakes. • Do not use water until you receive word that it is safe. Eat only foods you are absolutely sure are safe. If power has been out, food that was refrigerated or frozen may not be safe to eat. • Don’t light candles. Don’t attempt to turn on utilities. • Be wary of dangerous or frightened animals. • Use care when you handle power tools, gas lanterns or generators. • Call your insurance company to file a claim if your home is damaged; ask your insurance company for financial help. • Listen to local radio stations for disaster relief information and instructions.

Avoid Getting Rooked When residents return to their homes after a natural disaster, they may face a disaster of another type: the unscrupulous repairperson. Although homeowners are most concerned with getting things back to normal, proceeding with caution at this stage will help avoid additional heartache and money. Before making any repair, homeowners should determine how much aid is available. The three basic funding sources for repairs are insurance proceeds, government assistance and private funds. Once the amount of funds available is determined, it’s necessary to select a contractor. Compile a list of potential repair firms, then contact the local Better Business Bureau for reports about the firms, or get reports online at search.bbb.org/search. And check with friends or relatives for references. Be suspicious of door-to-door workers who, in order to get the job, may use scare tactics, such as alleging a building has unsafe structural conditions. Here are some things to consider when one is approached by a repair company at home: • Always check to see whether the company’s name is on the worker’s vehicle. • Make sure the company is listed in the telephone directory. • Ask for a street address for the com-

pany. Whether you’re contracting with a large company or with an independent repairman who’s been checked out and deemed legitimate, there are several things to keep in mind to ensure a fair price and successful project: • Request two or three estimates, making certain that contractors are bidding the same package, including materials to be used, when work is to begin and be completed, and when payments are to be made. • Make sure the contract contains a detailed description of the necessary work. A contract containing general statements such as “repair siding” is an open invitation for abuse. • If the project is being financed, the contract should include a breakdown of these costs. • Document all expenditures, including temporary lodging and meals. Documentation may be necessary for reimbursement. • A down payment of 30 percent of the total is standard for the industry. • The time when work is to begin is particularly important as many contractors may have a backlog of work due to the disaster. • Ask for a lien waver in the event the contractor fails to pay his suppliers. • Do not sign a completion form until you’re totally satisfied with the project. June 20, 2013

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Do You Have A Game Plan? Gov. Bobby Jindal and the Governor’s Office of Homeland Security and Emergency Preparedness (GOHSEP) director Mark Cooper urged Louisianians to “Get a Game Plan” for hurricane season. Forecasters are predicting an above average hurricane season. Across the Atlantic Basin, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) is predicting 12-18 named storms (top winds of 39 mph or higher) and six to ten hurricanes (top winds of 74 mph or higher). Three to six of those could be major hurricanes (category 3, 4 or 5 with winds of at least 111 mph). With the assistance of the American Red Cross, GOHSEP will distribute a new hurricane survival guide. It includes

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evacuation routes for Southeast and Southwest Louisiana as well as contraflow instructions for Southeast Louisiana residents. The guide also includes shelter information points. The guides will be available at Red Cross chapters throughout Louisiana. They are published in English, Spanish and Vietnamese. GOHSEP is also now offering a free App, “Get a Game Plan,” which can be downloaded on smartphones. Residents will be able to access critical information, including evacuation routes and supply lists. GOHSEP is encouraging those with animals to have a pet plan. A handy list of hurricane supplies, evacuation information and other critical information can be found on www.getagameplan.org.

Wilmington Mississippi River Shreveport

Red River

Alexandria Bundick River 49

Lake Charles

Mississippi River Baton Rouge

ATLANTIC OCEAN

12 10

Lake Pontchartrain

New Orleans

Gulf of Mexico

Tampico Cancun

Bay of Campeche Vera Cruz

SAN SALVADOR

CARIBBEAN SEA NICARAGUA

2013 ATLANTIC TROPICAL STORMS / HURRICANE NAMES: BARRY CHANTAL DORIAN ERIN FERNAND

GABRIELLE HUMBERTO INGRID JERRY KAREN

LORENZO MELISSA NESTOR OLGA PABLO

REBEKAH SEBASTIEN TANYA VAN WENDY

June 20, 2013

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75TH ANNUAL SOUTHWEST LOUISIANA FISHING CLUB'S 4TH OF JULY FISHING RODEO

Welcome to the 75th Annual Southwest Louisiana Fishing Club Rodeo! As the president of the Southwest Fishing Club and on behalf of our Board of Directors, I extend to you the best wishes for good fishing during the rodeo on July 5th, 6th and 7th, 2013. Our club has worked hard all year to insure that you will have the best organized fishing rodeo on the Gulf Coast. I would like to thank all our club members, especially the tournament director Louis Vallee, for all the time sacrificed to make this rodeo a success. A special thanks to all the many local businesses within the program who have continued to offer their support. Entering this tournament also helps the Children's Miracle Network, which is a great way to give back to the children to our area. Miracles are created by funding medical care, research, and education that saves and improves the lives of children in our community. The Southwest Louisiana Fishing Club is proud to offer a family-oriented fishing rodeo. We have divisions for the whole family ... average anglers, lady anglers, as well as junior anglers. We are always looking for new members to join our Fishing Club family. For more information, please check out www.swlafishingclub.org. HAPPY FISHING TO ALL and remember ... keep safety first and follow the tournament rules. "FISH ON!" ___ Keith Boone, President

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CLUB OFFICIALS & MEMBERS

Blanchard, Greg Boling, David Boone, Keith Bowers, Ross Brown, Stephen A. Brown, Steve Brumwell, Matt Burguieres, Al Chaisson, Bobby Chaisson, Keith Charlson, Dan E. Chatagnier, Marla Cobb, Donald Ray Cooke, Jr., Henry Crawford, Dr. Pat Dautriel, Adam Dautriel, Jaysen Dautriel, Ned Dawdy, Edwin Dawdy, Russell Drost, Mitch Durio, Robert Easley, Mike Fontenot, Eugene Foster, Jr., Bill George, Chris Gill, Dr. Sherwood Guinn, Stuart Henry, Jimmy Hernandez, Dale Laughlin, Travis Leger, Fred Lowery, Jr., Lawrence

McRay, John W Mere, Johnny R. Miller, Darren Monroe, Keith M. Monticello, Dr. Sam Morris, Don Natali, Kevin Nelson, Chris Nelson, Steve Owen, Chris Palma, James Palma, Alfred A. Redburn, Jimmy D. Richard, Reese Sanders, Tom Slack, Leroy Statum, Donald Thigpen, Brandon Tritico, Sr., Russell Turner, Jep H. Umberger, Mike Vallee , Chad Vallee, Louis Van Norman III, John Van Norman IV, John Vidrine, Cody Wong, Dermot

PRESIDENT ................................................ Keith Boone VICE-PRESIDENT .....................................Cody Vidrine SECRETARY..............................................Dan Charlson TREASURER ...............................................Steve Brown TOURNAMENT DIRECTOR......................Louis Vallee PAST PRESIDENT ..................................Jayson Dautriel BOARD MEMBER-AT-LARGE ...........Jimmie Redburn BOARD MEMBER-AT-LARGE ................Donald Cobb

To become a member, please visit swlafishingclub.org, visit the club on Facebook, or speak with a club member.

GETTING TO THE WEIGH-IN Traveling West on I-210: Take Nelson Road exit. Make an immediate left hand turn, go south under Interstate. At light, make right on to W. Prien Lake Road. At stop sign, proceed straight onto frontage road. Follow road around to North side of Interstate. SWLA Fishing Club Clubhouse will be on left.

Traveling East on I-210: Take Prien Lake Road exit. Make an immediate right hand turn, follow road around to North side of Interstate. SWLA Fishing Club Clubhouse will be on your left. June 20, 2013

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CAPTAIN'S NIGHT • JUNE 28 TIME: DATE: PLACE:

6:30 PM Friday, June 28, 2013 Southwest Louisiana Fishing Club Clubhouse adjacent to LaFleur Park

The SWLA Fishing Club will answer any questions about the rules. You can enjoy hors d'oeuvres, drinks and enter to win many door prizes. Admission is a 2013 fishing rodeo ticket available at the door or at the following ticket locations: In Lake Charles: Ship to Shore, Lake Charles Tackle, West Marine, True Blue Watersports and Calcasieu Point. Tickets are also available at Cajun Fast Mart in Carlyss.

THE WINNERS FROM LAST YEAR ...

OUTSTANDING OFFSHORE ANGLER Brandon Thigpen

REDFISH WITH MOST SPOTS AWARD Deklan Doughdrill

OUTSTANDING TAG & RELEASE ANGLER Eric Milner

FISHING DIVISION TOP BOAT Rock Solid

OUTSTANDING JUNIOR ANGLER Wade Kelly

OUTSTANDING SCUBA DIVISION ANGLERS Blade Henry

TAG & RELEASE TOP BOAT Sea Dog

OUTSTANDING INLAND ANGLER Nathan Paul

OUTSTANDING LADY ANGLER Marty Charlson /Melissa Young

HARD LUCK AWARD Darren Miller

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JAMES “JIMMY” MONROE STARK, SR. was born Sept. 27, 1940, in West Monroe and lived in Sulphur from 1948 until his passing on June 29, 2012. A 1958 graduate of Sulphur High School, Jimmy was active in all sports. He attended McNeese State University on a track scholarship and majored in electrical engineering. Jimmy went to work for Sulphur Electric as a helper in 1955 when he was 15 years old. He remained with the company all his life, joining the Local 861 as an electrician and bought the company in 1979. Sulphur Electric is run today by his wife and sons. Jimmy became a member and governor of the National Electrical Contractors Association in 1981 and served as president of the Louisiana Council Chapter of the NECA in 1987. He was a 50-year member of International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers and served on its board. Following the destruction of Rita in 2005, Jimmy, his sons and employees of Sulphur Electric were instrumental in helping restore power back to the Cameron and Calcasieu parishes. Jimmy was an avid fisherman, hunter and conservationist. He began fishing with his dad as a youngster and passed his love of the outdoors and nature first to his sons and then on to his many grandchildren. Jimmy may have fished and hunted all over the world but he was most at home while stalking the waters of Big Lake, the Jetties and the Gulf. A fisherman to his core, Jimmy never met a stranger and was never shy about sharing a story. In 1975, Jimmy landed a large tarpon on a spoon. Twenty years later, his son Jud caught a tarpon on the same lure. When it came time to build a home, he made sure the ceilings in his den were 15-feet tall, high enough to showcase his prized sailfish. His finest catch in life was his wife, Bonnie Lynne Crawford Stark, who he remained married to for over 50 years. Jimmy and Bonnie had three sons — Jay, Jeff and Jud — and nine grandchildren. Jimmy loved to travel with his wife and family. Jimmy, his family and company have always been strong supporters of Sulphur High School and many youth organizations throughout the years. In April 2010, he received a Wall of Honor sponsor award from the youth of Sulphur recreation. A dedicated husband, father, grandfather and friend, Jimmy was quick to make friends. His infectious laugh and happy disposition left their mark on everyone he met. June 20, 2013

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JIMMY STARK WAS A LONG-TIME MEMBER of the Southwest Louisiana Fishing Club. He was a big sponsor and promoter of our annual 4th of July Fishing Rodeo. He donated door prizes and sponsored a big fish prize. I never fished with Jimmy, but he and I shared many fish stories. He would tell me about fishing trips he and his sons would make to Venice, Mexico, or a hundred other "famous" fishing spots. A few years ago our paths crossed offshore near "Lost John." He was fishing with Frank LaBarbera and Kent Scale. After showing us their beautiful bounty, we shared GPS numbers of the spot. Jimmy was a true family man. He worked hard to keep all of his grandchildren involved in outdoor (aka fishing) activities, especially after the death of his son, Jay. He and his beloved wife, Bonnie, had a group of them at Captains' Night, just as they had always been. Jimmy was great outdoorsman who will be missed by me, this fishing club, and everyone who ever crossed his path, on or off the water. --- Ed Dawdy

I FIRST MET JIMMY STARK when I was at Frasch and he was a student at Sulphur High. He would walk over during his lunch hour and hang across the fence so he could talk to Bonnie Crawford. When I would come home from college on weekends, Jimmy was always having a party. He was fun and full of laughter. It would take too much time and too much paper to list all adventures we had. Jimmy was always teasing me about one thing or another but I loved him like a brother. He was very kind and patient with me when he took me fishing even though I've never been a good fisherwoman. Jimmy and Bonnie were my best friends and were always there from me through good times and bad. I miss his teasing and optimistic attitude. --- BeBe Gail Usie

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SPECIAL FISHING RODEO AWARDS Combo donated by: Marilyn’s (lady that accumulates most points on the board in Fishing Div.) Most Unusual Fish: Trophy Hard Luck Award: Trophy 1st, 2nd & 3rd place fish receive a plaque in each species.

LARGEST SPECKLED TROUT $1,000 AWARD Sponsored by Dautriel Plumbing; Sam Hebert Financial Group; Cox, Cox, Filo & Wilson Law Firm; Larry Roach, Attorney-At-Law; and Ned Dautriel.

SCUBA DIVISION

LARGEST REDFISH (UNDER 27") $500 AWARD

OUTSTANDING DIVER & OUTSTANDING DIVE BOAT Awards are donated by: True Blue Watersports, Inc.

Sponsored by Ned Dautriel and Mr. Vidrine SAP Consultant.

• •

DR. ROGER GRIMBALL, JR. DDS JUNIOR ANGLER DIVISION Dr. Grimball has long recognized the importance of fishing as a favorite pastime in Southwest Louisiana. Even more so, he recognizes the importance of youth participation with their parents in sports. This is one of the reasons he sponsors the Outstanding Junior Angler Award. Dr. Grimball says to kids “get hooked on fishing, not drugs!” 1st, 2nd and 3rd place trophies awarded.

JUNIOR ANGLER: LARGEST SPECKLED TROUT AND LARGEST SHEEPHEAD Each get a 90-quart K2 Ice Chest! Sponsored by Southern Pipe & Supply Company.

JUNIOR ANGLER: LARGEST SPECKLED TROUT AND LARGEST REDFISH Each get a Calcasieu Extreme Custom Rod! Donated by Jude Savoie and Josh Lincecum (yellowmouth baits).

RED KOHNKE MEMORIAL AWARD The Red Kohnke Memorial Award is awarded for the angler that catches the redfish with the most spots. This award is sponsored by Jimmy Redburn.

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FISHING DIVISION

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TAG & RELEASE GROUP Outstanding Angler: Southwest Louisiana Fishing Club Outstanding Boat: Special Marlin Trophy Donated by Port Aggregates

• • • •

All tabulations compliments of The Consortium. Winners not present must claim awards within two weeks at Ship To Shore on Lake Street in Lake Charles. In the event of tie in weights, the first fish entered will be considered the winner; in the event of a tie for Outstanding Boat or Angler, the winner will be decided by RULES COMMITTEE. All contestants must agree to take a polygraph test if asked. ALL DECISIONS OF THE RULES COMMITTEE ARE FINAL. ALL people aboard a vessel MUST be entered in the Rodeo. All awards will be presented at final weigh-in. There will be no daily prizes. All tickets MUST be signed when presented at weigh-in.

FISHING GROUP Outstanding Angler: Special Tarpon Trophy Outstanding Boat: Special Marlin Trophy Outstanding Junior Angler: Award and Rod & Reel Combo Donated by Dr. Roger Grimball, Jr. (15 yr. or younger, given to the contestant with most points on the Jr. Angler Div. board) Outstanding Lady Angler: Award and Rod & Reel

(409) 722-9314

Good Fishing!

June 20, 2013

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FILE 13

brad goins

Start Reading Serious Books Now and then, people express an interest in getting serious about reading serious books. They may have the nagging feeling that there’s something more to reading than Twilight, The Hunger Games and Janet Evanovich. Or they may not read books; want to start reading; and want the experience to mean something. Either way, the prospective reader of serious books has some sort of fear of the language of literature. Such a fear is, I think, a lot like writer’s block. It’s a fear of something that’s not a real threat. One characteristic of the language of serious literature is that it requires concentration. Concentration is a habit. I learn to concentrate on what sentences mean by reading material that requires me to concentrate, and reading it at least a few minutes a day. Another thing about the language of literature that people may find challenging is that it’s not just about plot, character and atmosphere. Literary language is supposed to have rhythm and melody. It’s supposed to sound good. If we read it aloud, it’s supposed to be pleasing to the ear. Literary language can also be concerned with ideas. It can make us think. The ideas can be small — the sort that a writer can play around with, but a philosopher wouldn’t bother with. The ideas can also be huge — so huge they’re no longer called ideas; they’re called themes. For instance, the theme of the literary work that requires the most concentration — James Joyce’s novel Finnegans Wake — explores the theme that history is one big cycle, and explores it in hundreds of ways. While Finnegans Wake is a great example of a book that uses language to develop a theme, it’s also a good example of what can make a person a little afraid of serious books. If someone made the questionable judgment of picking Finnegans Wake as a first serious book, he or she might read a sentence or two and say what many have said: “I can’t read this!” or “This is too hard to read!” I’ve been developing the idea that the language of literature — the language of serious books — does things that most readers aren’t accustomed to. For this reason, I’m going to guess that readers who want to start reading serious books will have the most success if they choose books whose language is very, very simple. In most cases, they’ll know right away what the language means. They won’t have to put a great deal of energy into doing what they’re not used to doing — thinking about what the language is “doing” or supposed to be doing. Thus, I’ll be working with the theory that the best way to ease into serious writing is to start with books whose language is very, very simple. It’s just a theory, of course; it might not be valid. But I’ll write as if it is. If you want to start reading serious writing with very simple language and you have no particular preference about what writer you start with, I suggest you begin with the short stories of Ernest Hemingway. I think Hemingway made English prose for 66

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adults almost as simple as it could be made, and did so throughout his writing career. Let’s consider one of his most famous stories, “The Short Happy Life of Francis Macomber.” The story concerns the American Francis Macomber, who’s paid a hunting guide to help him find and kill big game in Africa. When a lion is encountered, Macomber panics and runs from it. As his wife is along for the trip and witnesses this display of cowardice, Macomber is all the more embarrassed. Macomber makes matters worse by asking the hunting guide Wilson not to talk about the incident. When the hunting guide says it’s inappropriate to make such a request, Macomber apologizes. “I’m sorry,” Macomber said and looked at him with his American face that would stay adolescent until it became middle-aged, and Wilson noted his crewcropped hair, fine eyes only faintly shifty, good nose, thin lips and handsome jaw. “I’m sorry I didn’t realize that. There are lots of things I don’t know.” So what could he do, Wilson thought. He was all ready to break it off quickly and neatly and here the beggar was apologizing after he had just insulted him. He made one more attempt. “Don’t worry about me talking,” he said. “I have a liv-

ing to make. You know in Africa no woman ever misses her lion and no white man ever bolts.” “I bolted like a rabbit,” Macomber said. Now what in hell were you going to do about a man who talked like that, Wilson wondered. Wilson looked at Macomber with his flat, blue, machinegunner’s eyes and the other smiled back at him. He had a pleasant smile if you did not notice how his eyes showed when he was hurt. With vocabulary that simple and wellarranged, the meaning can’t help but be clear. Wilson, who is strongly antiAmerican, finds himself liking the American Macomber. While displays of cowardice are nothing new to Wilson, he doesn’t know what to do with a man who freely admits he’s a coward. It should be clear that we’re already dealing with subject matter that’s different from what one reads in writing that isn’t simple. In mainstream literature, men don’t openly admit to being cowardly and main characters don’t display extreme cowardice when the stakes are high. Notice in particular how different the world of the last sentence is from that of popular writing. In popular writing, men

aren’t supposed to be “hurt” by the mere sighting of a wild animal. And man certainly would never show by his eyes that he’s hurt; nor would a popular writer depict masculine fear that’s conveyed by watery male eyes. A man who would show his fear in such a way is, in the popular mind, a spineless worm. He might be a minor supporting character in the story. Most likely he simply would never be portrayed. But the reader of Hemingway’s story learns that Macomber is certainly not a coward through and through. His willingness to admit and be frank about his cowardliness is not cowardice. Hemingway shows that a character is a coward but at the same time possesses degrees of cowardice and courage and possesses a vast number of other qualities in varying degrees. Character is complex. Simple language reveals it. One of the greatest challenges of literature is to work against the standard view that human life is basically orderly and sensible and offers rewards and happiness to those who approach it in sensible, reasonable and responsible ways. It is in serious writing that one encounters the extremely daring notion that what happens to people is often disorderly, ridiculous and governed by chance or probability. Good plans are no match for things that simply happen as they happen, frequently in a way that no planner could have predicted. This alternative view of life is presented in a serious book made of very simple language. Play It As It Lays is a short novel written by Joan Didion at a time when writing with very simple language began to be called “minimalism” (at around 1970). Didion’s novel is narrated by a mentally ill woman who’s married to an unfaithful and cruel husband who’s a producer of Hollywood films. She’d like to divorce him, but he tells her he’ll get custody of their mentally handicapped daughter if she does. Since the daughter is all that matters to the wife, she stays in the loveless marriage. After spending much of the book trying to figure out this preposterous situation, the protagonist — the wife – simply concludes that “it doesn’t make any sense.” The language is as simple as it gets. But notice that it reveals a facet of life we must turn to serious writing to see described. If life is fundamentally senseless, what is the importance of schools and bureaucracies and staff meetings and boards of directors and all the rest of it? The language is simple, but the subject matter is provocative — even dangerous. So too is the philosophy the protagonist avows at the end of her story: “I play it as it lays and stay in the game.” There can be no doubt what the narrator means. But, again, it’s serious business. Surely the American way — indeed the human way — is to approach adversity by making plans, doing things, working, striving. How very different things would be if we all thought things would turn out just as well if we all “play it as it lays.” From the ‘60s through the ‘80s, American minimalism developed under the

out of a short story submitted to Esquire by the writer Raymond Carver. Carver would later say he owed his “reputation” to Lish. Others were less impressed. In a New York Times editorial, Stephen King called Lish’s influence “baleful” and “heartless” and his severe editing of one Carver story “a cheat.” In his own writing, Lish is known for joining simple language to surrealistic, fantastic, grotesque or absurd plot elements and quirky, often humorous, word play. These characteristics are found (though probably to a lesser extent) in the simple language used by writer Amy Hempel, one of Lish’s many students and protégés. She dedicated her 1985 volume of short stories, Reasons To Live, to Lish, whom she called “the teacher.”

In one story in this volume, “In the Cemetery Where Al Jolson Is Buried,” the narrator is a woman who loses her young best friend to an incurable disease.

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guidance of the experimental writer and editor of Esquire magazine Gordon Lish. He made his mark by cutting half the words

Readers who want to start reading serious books will have the most success if they choose books whose language is very, very simple.

During her friend’s long illness, the narrator has kept her amused and distracted by making jokes about a chimpanzee who was taught to communicate with sign language. After her friend dies, the narrator concludes the story with these simple words: I think of the chimp, the one with the talking hands. In the course of the experiment, that chimp had a baby. Imagine how her trainers must have thrilled when the mother, without prompting, began to sign to her newborn. Baby, drink milk. Baby, play ball. And when the baby died, the mother stood over the body, her wrinkled hands moving with animal grace, forming again and again the words: Baby, come hug. Baby come hug, fluent now in the language of grief.

The language of grief is too disturbing and frightening to be included in popular writing, where it is represented only by the insubstantial clichés and catchphrases people often utter when they’re informed of a death. With a minimum of detail, Hempel shows the reader that loss can not only teach one the language of grief, but can make one fluent in it in a matter of seconds. If you want to explore other serious books written in very simple language, I suggest the following: • Executioner’s Song by Norman Mailer (1980, novel) • Galapagos by Kurt Vonnegut (1985, novel) • In Watermelon Sugar by Richard Brautigan (1968, novel) • Love Life by Bobbie Ann Mason (short stories, 1989) • Revenge of the Lawn: Stories 1962-1970 by Richard Brautigan • Shiloh and Other Stories by Bobbie Ann Mason (1982) • Slouching Towards Bethlehem by Joan Didion (1968, essays) • Story of My Life by Jay McInerney (1988, novel) • The White Album by Joan Didion (1979, essays) For extremely realistic writing, try Executioner’s Song, Love Life or Story of My Life. For writing that leans towards the fantastic, surreal and absurd, try Galapagos or In Watermelon Sugar.

Novus Auto Glass You Deserve the Best Repair and Replacement Family owned and operated by Jerry and Vera Hollier, Novus Auto Glass is celebrating 28 years of business. They started with the philosophy of the best product, the best service, and the best warranty, all provided by locally owned people with 70 years of combined experience! They offer auto glass replacement, auto glass repair, state inspections, after market mirrors and parts, and reglue rear-view mirrors. Vera and Jerry Hollier Novus Auto Glass is NGA certified (highest are NGA Certified certification for glass replacement), and use only and are pleased to OEM glass for replacments. They offer a lifebe at your service! time warranty on all of their work. Employees include Leslie Olivier, manager of their Lake Charles branch, Don Fontenot, manager of the Kinder branch, Daniel Bordelon, certified replacement technician, and Jessica Thibideaux, manager of the Sulphur branch. When you need auto glass work request Novus, because you deserve the best.

1590 Maplewood, Sulphur • 527-7540 4419 Lake St, Lake Charles • 477-2582 Kinder • 738-2577 June 20, 2013

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THURSDAY, JUNE 20 Coushatta Joe Harmon & The Harmonics Dharma Open mic Isle of Capri Keith McCoy &CEO L’Auberge Liquid Society Tate Stevens; Jack After Dark DJ KC Luna Live TBA

THURSDAY, JUNE 27 Coushatta Legends in Concert; Music Unlimited Dharma Open mic Isle of Capri Brandon Ledet & Cajun Touch L’Auberge Liquid Society DJ Pauly D; Jack After Dark DJ San-D Luna Live The Illegal Wiretaps; Bleu Echo

karaoke Annie's 9pm Friday; Saturday Bourbonz 8pm Tuesdays Chicageaux Bar 8pm Thursday, Friday, Saturday Club 90 8pm Saturday Coolers Thursday Crickets 8:30pm Friday DeQuincy VFW 7-11pm Friday; 6-10pm Sunday

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FRIDAY, JUNE 21 Cigar Club Paul Gonsoulin Coushatta Isis Cowboys Club 7 Radio Delta Downs Louisiana Express Dharma Foxy & The Highhats (jazz) Isle of Capri City Heat L’Auberge Jack Goes Country Mayeux & Broussard w DJ Eric Scott Luna Live Street Side Jazz Band (7 pm); Oh Rhien, We Were Wolves, Lightfield Yesterdays Twangsters Union

FRIDAY, JUNE 28 Cigar Club Hold Fast Fables Coushatta Legends in Concert; Stellar Delta Downs Bernie Alan Dharma The Von Dukes, The Ruxpins Isle of Capri Cold Sweat L’Auberge Jack Goes Country Whiskey Myers w DJ Eric Scott Luna TBA Yesterdays Static w David Joel

Dirty Rice Saloon 7pm Thursday Frosty Factory 9pm Thurs thru Sat Handlebars Club Tuesdays & Thursdays Huddle Up Thursdays Isle Of Capri 8pm-Midnight Wednesday Kaw-Ligas Tuesday thru Saturday Mike's Place 8pm-until M,W,F Linda's Lounge 8:30-11:30 Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday; 9-1 Saturday Neighborhood Bar 7pm Thursday No Name Lounge 8-Mid Friday, 7-11pm Sunday Old Town Tavern Fri/Sat Nights

SATURDAY, JUNE 22 Cigar Club Second Nature Coushatta Isis Delta Downs Louisiana Express Dharma Jenny & The Reincarnations, The Andys, Octopoodle, We Are Wombat Isle of Capri JD Newbury & Souhwind L'Auberge Jack After Dark DJ KC Luna Live Live Kory Fontenot Acoustic One Man Band,Large Marge, The Foating Popes, The Marvelous Wonderfuls Yesterdays Geno Delafose & French Rockin’ Boogie

SATURDAY, JUNE 29 Cigar Club McNeese Hard Bop Combo Coushatta Legends in Concert; Stellar Delta Downs Bernie Alan Dharma Stoop Kids w Certain Satellites & Selfawarewolf Isle of Capri The Coleman Brothers L’Auberge Jack After Dark DJ San-D Luna Live The Shiz, Lilli Lewis Yesterdays Steel Shot

R-Bar 8pm Friday Sam's Cove 9pm Thursday Shorty's Ice House 9pm Friday Slim's Yesteryears 9pm Thursday Spot Bar & Grill Fridays Sports Pitt 8pm Thursday, Friday, Saturday Sulphur VFW 9pm-Mid Saturday Tiki Bar 8pm Friday Texas Longhorn Club 9pm Thursdays, 1am Fridays Fax listings to 433-8964 or edit@thelanyap.com

DON GAY BULL RIDING TOUR AT BURTON Don Gay, an eight-time world champion bull rider, along with Frontier Rodeo Company and United Bucking Bull, will host the first annual Don Gay Championship Bull Riding Tour June 21-22, 7:30 pm, at Burton Coliseum. The event will showcase some of the country’s most promising bull riders and some of the most famous animals in the rodeo business. Gay will join the show’s riders for autograph sessions at the Frontier Rodeo merchandise booth. A free autograph party with Gay and other professional bull riders, including Championship Bull Riding World Champion Josh Barentine, will take place June 20 at the Isle of Capri Casino Hotel. General admission tickets start at $12 for adults and $7 for children. Various reserved seating options are also available, including VIP seats on the arena floor along with dinner catered by BBQ West, Jags Bistro, Rabideaux’s and Seafood Palace. A $3 discount is available for online purchases and through a coupon distributed to area schools throughout Southwest Louisiana. The online promo code is BULL. Tickets are also available at Baskins Western and Work Wear, 2990 E. Prien Lake Rd.; Cotten’s Boots and Clothes, 2601 Ryan St.; and Patton’s Western Wear, 3620 Ryan St. To purchase tickets or for more information, visit frontierrodeo.com. Click on Home and Schedule for the Lake Charles event page. For additional ticket information, call 254-592-3662 or 515-8501.

SOUTHWEST LOUISIANA PATRIOT’S BALL The City of Lake Charles Mayor’s Armed Forces Commission will host the Seventh Annual Southwest Louisiana Patriot’s Ball on Saturday, June 29, at the Lake Charles Civic Center Contraband Room, 900 Lakeshore Dr. A social halfhour will kick-off the event at 5:30 pm, followed by dinner at 6 pm. During the evening, three individuals and one corporation will be awarded in recognition of patriotic service to the community. Immediately following the awards ceremony will be music provided by a DJ. The Southwest Louisiana Patriot’s Ball is the main annual fundraising event for the Mayor’s Armed Forces Commission, which supports area veterans projects and activities. Persons interested in attending the dinner can purchase tickets at the Lake Charles Civic Center, by calling 491-1256, or contacting the USS Orleck Museum, 604 N. Enterprise Blvd., at 214-7447.

‘RED, WHITE, BLUE AND YOU’ CELEBRATION The “Red, White, Blue and You” celebration, presented by the City of Lake Charles, will take place at the Civic Center Outdoor Amphitheatre on Thursday, July 4. A street parade will take place at 6 pm, the concert will begin at 7:15 pm, and fireworks over the lake will close the event at 9:15 pm. Music will be provided by Paul Gonsolin and John Guidroz, and the Lake Charles Community Band with the Louisiana Choral Foundation and Friends Salute to Armed Forces. For more information, call 491-9159, email dfasske@cityoflc.us or visit cityoflakecharles.com

June 20, 2013

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CTC SUMMER THEATRE WORKSHOPS The Children’s Theatre Company (CTC) will begin its 2013 Summer Theatre Workshops with “Wild Things,” for children ages 5-8. The workshop will introduce children to theater through the use of creative drama, theater games, creative movement, stage makeup, costumes and musical theater. The cost is $65 and will be held July 8-10 from 10-11:15 am. The afternoon workshop, “Acting for the Camera,” will be for children ages 818. The session will cover auditioning for commercials, reading commercial scripts, exploring different commercial techniques, and beginning improvisational skills. Information and samples will be shared on creating resumes, taking head shots and finding the best agent or manager. The cost is $85 and will be held July 8-10 from noon-1:30 pm. No experience is needed for the workshops. All workshops have limited enrollment and are held at Central School of the Arts & Humanities Center at 809 Kirby St. For registration information, contact the theater at 337-433-7323 or visit the www.childrenstheatre.cc and click on Summer Workshops. Left: Alyssa Cargill prepares for CTC’s Summer Theatre Workshops.

CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE SEMINAR The Calcasieu Parish Police Jury, Louisiana CASA, and Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Information Center of Louisiana will host a free seminar on child sexual abuse June 27, 8:30 am-noon, at the Allen P. August Multi-Purpose Annex, located at 2000 Moeling St. in Lake Charles. The seminar, designed for organizations and individuals, trains adults in the prevention of child sexual abuse, how to recognize it, and how to react responsibly. Registration is required, seating will be available on a first come, first served basis. For more information, email amart@cppj.net, or call Adele Mart or Brenda Prejean at 721-4020.

CARPAL TUNNEL SEMINAR Andrew Foret, MD, hand and wrist specialist, will be the guest speaker at “Let Go of the Pain,” a carpal tunnel seminar to be held Thursday, June 27, 5:30 pm, at Center for Orthopaedics at 1747 Imperial Blvd. in Lake Charles. Carpal tunnel syndrome is one of the most common causes of wrist and hand pain. It’s a classic overuse injury, occurring most often in those performing repetitive-type tasks in the manufacturing, construction, clerical, beauty, sewing and cleaning industries. The risk is three times more common in women. At the seminar, Foret will discuss causes, prevention and advances in diagnosis and treatment options for carpal tunnel syndrome. Seating for the seminar is limited and pre-registration is requested. Refreshments will be served. Call 721-2903 or register online in the event section of www.centerforortho.com to reserve a seat.

VACATION BIBLE SCHOOL Gateway Church of God, 1815 Sam Houston Jones Pkwy. in Moss Bluff, will hold its Vacation Bible School Monday, June 24-Friday, June 28, 6-8:30 pm. The school is open to children ages 3 through fifth grade. For more info, call 855-2964. 70

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LC SYMPHONY SUMMER POPS

FREE HEALTH SCREENINGS

The Lake Charles Symphony will hold its summer pops concert Saturday, July 13, 7:30 pm, in the Civic Center Coliseum. The symphony, under the direction of conductor Bohuslav Rattay, will perform the music of Elton John, accompanied by vocalist Jean Miller and the band Madmen Across The Water, backed by a 40-member chorus under the direction of Chris Miller. Riser seats are $20 and $25, $10 for students. Individual table seats are $40. Reserved tables for eight are $300; and premium tables are $1,000. To purchase tickets or for more information, call 433-1611 or visit lcsymphony.org.

The Partnership for a Healthier Southwest Louisiana and the City of Lake Charles will offer the free “Know Your Numbers” health screenings on Saturday, June 22, from 7:30-11 am at the Lake Charles Civic Center. Local hospitals Christus St. Patrick, Lake Charles Memorial Health System, West Calcasieu Cameron Hospital, and Women & Children’s Hospital are partnering to bring this annual, comprehensive wellness screening program and provide 1,000 free health screenings. Screenings will assess risks for high blood pressure, elevated cholesterol levels and diabetes due to the high prevalence of obesity in Southwest Louisiana. Participants must fast for a minimum of four hours and should take their daily medication with water prior to screening. The “Know Your Numbers” health screening is a Dare to be Healthy initiative, made possible by Blue Cross and Blue Shield of Louisiana Foundation’s $760,000 Challenge Grant, and is matched by approximately $832,000 in funds from collaborating organizations in the Southwest Louisiana area. The Dare to be Healthy program is a three-year grant, 2013-15, administered by Southwest Louisiana Area Health Education Center in cooperation with the Partnership for a Healthier Southwest Louisiana.

Cold Sweat

RELIGIOUS FREEDOM RALLY Area churches will present the Rally for Religious Freedom Saturday, June 22, 9 am-1 pm, at Heritage Square Pavilion, located at Cypress and Ruth Streets in Sulphur. Area civic and church leaders will speak on religious freedom and the First Amendment of the Constitution. Music will be provided by Barry Badon, the Houston River Baptist Church Choir and the Life Church Band. Food and drinks will be provided. Attendees are asked to bring their own lawn chairs.

WALKING CHALLENGE As part of the Dare to be Healthy initiative and in support of the Partnership for a Healthier Southwest Louisiana, the City of Lake Charles will participate in the City Challenge — Start Walking Calcasieu! competition June 22. Registration will begin at 7 am at the corner of Lakeshore Drive and Bord du Lac Drive at Millennium Park. The “Walk With The Mayor” will begin at 7:30 am at the south end of the Promenade and continue north to the PPG Fountain. There will be free blood screenings offered from 7:30-11 am in the Lake Charles Civic Center Exhibition Hall. Participants in the screenings should fast six hours prior. Those who don’t wish to attend the walk in person can get involved by going online to take the pledge to walk and move more. Fill out the online pledge at healthierswla.com /dare-to-be-healthy/city-challengestart-walking-calcasieu. For more information, call the City of Lake Charles at 491-1201.

‘RENDEZ-VOUS DES CAJUNS’ SCHEDULE “Rendez-vous Des Cajuns,” a live music and radio show with dancing, takes place every Saturday, 67:30 pm, at the Liberty Theater in Eunice, La. Here is the schedule of upcoming shows: • June 22 — Louisiana Road Trip Band and Troy LeJeune and Cajun Revue. • June 29 — Vorance Barzas and the Original Mamou Playboys with Steve Riley. Performances are broadcast live on Public Radio KRVS 88.7 FM, at www.krvs.org, and on KEUN 1490 AM; and delayed on KEUN 105.5 FM, KDCG-TV (Opel/Laf), and Acadian Open Channel (AOCLafayette). For more information, visit eunice-la.com or call 457-7389 Monday-Friday.

June 20, 2013

LAGNIAPPE

REEL TALK

duane bergeron

Superman: The Man Of Steel Warner Brothers, Rated PG-13 Superhero movies did not come into their own until Superman hit theaters in December 1978. Featuring a relatively unknown actor named Christopher Reeve, the film was a box office smash. Superman II was another smash when it was released in 1981. However, the following two sequels failed to live up to the success of its predecessors, and Superman was blitzed with box office Kryptonite. How could Warner Brothers breathe new life into the troubled franchise? The studio found its answer in director Zack Snyder (Watchmen, 300) and producer Christopher Nolan (The Dark Knight trilogy). Rather than trying to continue the story that started with Reeve’s Superman, the decision was made to start anew. And the call made was to go for a “darker” tone in this film. The result? Superman: The Man of Steel had the best opening weekend ever for a June release, with a $125 million gross. There is already talk of a sequel, and perhaps this success could be translated into a Justice League production two years from now. Warner Brothers would sure appreciate that, since they want to have a competitor in place for The Avengers sequel, set to open, as of now, in May 2015.

You should know this story by now. On the doomed world of Krypton, scientific genius Jor-El (Russell Crowe) and his wife Lara (Ayelet Zurer), send their infant son Kal-El on an intergalactic flight to Earth. However, before Krypton goes sky high, General Zod (Michael Shannon) and his forces attempt to take over the Kryptonian government. They fail, and are punished by being placed in a ship that is sent to what is called the Phantom Zone. After landing on Earth in Smallville, the alien baby is adopted by Martha (Diane Lane) and Jonathan Kent (Kevin Costner). They decide to name him Clark. In a series of flashbacks, Clark Kent (Henry Cavill) struggles to find his identity and to ascertain as to why he is so different from other humans. As he goes from place to place, Kent uses his incredible powers to help people. That gets the attention of Daily Planet reporter Lois Lane (Amy Adams). Though discouraged from reporting what she has found, Lane is able to discover that Kent is more than what he is admitting. Any hope Kent has of staying under the radar comes to an end as General Zod and his minions find their way to Earth. At first, Zod’s army destroys parts of the planet to show their resolve. Then, Zod informs the population that one of

his own has been living on Earth for years. He orders Kent to surrender himself at once. If not, Zod promises he will use his Kryptonian technology to destroy the entire planet. Now named Superman, Kent goes after Zod in a no-holds-barred battle that will determine the fate of Earth. There will certainly be comparisons made between The Man of Steel and its predecessors. However, the similarities are few. The basic concept of Superman is intact here, and that is to be expected. But, the presentation of it is drastically different. The darker, grittier approach to this new film gives the premise a more realistic feel. It also makes the events depicted a great deal more believable. Special effects house Weta Digital has really made a name for itself. Their work in The Man of Steel stands out, in my estimation, as one of their best efforts. The climatic battle between Superman and Zod is clearly one of the best one-on-one fight sequences ever made for a superhero production. The fight choreography, along with the opticals, is something to behold. Also, for longtime Superman fans, there will probably be comparisons made between the late Christopher Reeve and Cavill. It is said that movies represent the times they are produced in. This is

true. The world was very different in 1978. Reeve’s Superman/Clark Kent was true to those times. In 2013, Cavill is a competent and capable actor who is successful in redefining Superman for the present day. Any direct comparisons between Reeve and Cavill would be unfair. A movie like this needs an actor who can make the character both believable and relevant to the audience. Reeve did it in his time, and Cavill is doing it now. My only complaint about the Man of Steel is that there were places where the change in the narrative, from flashback to present day, was too quick and choppy. One scene switched to another in so hasty a manner that it compromised the flow of the narrative. Whether it was a continuity or an editing error is unknown to me, but it did hurt some segments of the movie. Otherwise, The Man of Steel succeeds in bringing Superman back to life among superhero franchises and making him connect to a new generation of moviegoers. It is obvious The Man of Steel will be one of the standout performers among the summer films being released this year. And if Snyder and Nolan stay on board for the sequel, I’m sure the future of the franchise is in great hands.

"A Lesson In Fear From Satchmo" Perhaps the greatest trumpet player of all time was Louisiana’s own Louis Armstrong, nicknamed Satchmo. He grew up in a rural part of our state in the early 1900's. I read a great story the other day about Armstrong. When he was a child, his Aunt Maddie Mae sent him down to the pond to fetch a bucket of water early one morning. As he leaned over to get the water, a large alligator came out of the water and almost frightened him to death. He dropped the bucket and ran back to the house as fast as he could. When he got to the house, Aunt Haddie Mae saw that he did not have the pail with him, so she asked him what happened. He breathlessly told her about the alligator. She tried to reassure him and said, “Now Louis, you go back down there and fetch that water. And don’t you worry about that alligator. He’s just as afraid of you, as you are of him.” Louis replied, “Aunt Haddie Mae, if that alligator is as afraid of me as I am of him, that water ain’t fit to drink!” Fear can be a very real part of our lives. Fear can be crippling and paralyzing. I find comfort in the words of David in the 23rd Psalm. He affirmed, “Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me.” He found comfort in the presence of fear because he focused on the presence of God. Today, are you facing fear in your life? My prayer is that God will give us comfort and peace in the presence of fear as only He can give. Especially those who aren’t perfect! You are invited to worship at First Methodist: Sundays, 8:30 & 10:45 AM Corner of Broad and Kirkman • Radio broadcast: Sundays, 8:00AM on 100.5FM 72

LAGNIAPPE

June 20, 2013

MOUNTED MEMORIES rocke "soybean" fournet

Fishing Clinic

There is nothing like the feeling you get when your hard work pays off. It’s verification of a job well done. When the dividends consist of white perch, it’s a gift from up above that just keeps on giving. Ronald Wallace spends a lot of time and effort building brush piles on his favorite fishing hole Sam Rayburn Lake. If these piles are constructed properly, the payoff can be huge. Each year, Ronald adds fresh trees to the existing brush piles, subsequently drawing more fish. The work consists of cutting just the right size and species of tree and anchoring them with cinder blocks. The tops are ingeniously fastened to jugs that keep them upright. Make no mistake about it, this is real work!

Justin Baker and his bull red.

These “freshwater reefs” provide cover for small minnows and bait fish, which in turn draw gamefish such as white perch and bass. As the weather warms, these brush tops become magnets providing shade, cover and concealment. The trick, of course, is placing the trees in suitable spots, taking into consideration depth and location. Ronald has figured it out to a science. Armed with ultra-light equipment and six pound test line, Ronald has fished his honey hole brush piles with great success. He and his six-year-old son, Ronald III, recently scored over 40 beautiful slabs of white perch. Ronald

Ronald Wallace, Jr. and Ronald III

unexpectedly hooked up with a giant bass he wasn’t really equipped for. An 8lb. pound bass on 6-lb. test line is not supposed to be cool, but with due diligence Ronald pulled it off. The lagniappe happened when Junior scored a 7-lb. bass of his own off the same brush pile. The best part of the trip occurred in the kitchen after the trip. Ronald cut the fillets into small nuggets and fried them until they were crispy brown. With a belly full of fresh fish and a smile on his face, Ronald thinks those brush piles are well worth the effort. Sweet! The heat has descended upon us with June temperatures suddenly soaring into the 90s. If you can’t beat them join them, and that is just what heat like this calls for. Justin Baker waded into the cooling waters of the Gulf of Mexico on a recent beach trip. The water clarity wasn’t good, but the fish still have to eat. It was worth the relief from roasting on the beach just to chill out. Justin was hooked up with cut bait and light tackle when the fun began. A giant redfish engulfed the bait and headed south. A giant bull red is like a fighting machine on steroids. The fight was on, and Justin’s 20-lb. line was tested. His drag peeled out line as the bull lived up to its moniker. Justin played him down and just enjoyed the ride. The big red wound his way through several groups of swimming kids, with Justin in tow. Before long, the parade consisted of a 35-lb. redfish, followed by Justin, and then by a procession of excited children. Justin finally beached the beautiful bronze red, and the parade came to a halt. The kids were ecstatic, and Justin was like the very tired pied piper. It was a trip neither Justin or the kids will ever forget. Happy Fishing! June 20, 2013

LAGNIAPPE

SARRO ON SPORTS

rick sarro

A Nice Run Of late, numerous media types in Southwest Louisiana have posed a question I’ve chuckled at each time it was raised: “Will Lake Charles see another professional sports team?” The more appropriate question is not whether this area will again attract some form of pay-for-play sports, but whether Lake Charles is a viable market for a professional franchise to begin with. The answer is no. The Louisiana Swashbucklers, of the Professional Indoor Football League, unceremoniously folded and closed shop a few weeks ago, just days before the team’s last scheduled home game at the Lake Charles Civic Center. This ended a roller coaster ride of 10-plus years of minor league-arena type football in the region. The only thing that surprised me about the Swashbucklers calling it quits was the timing. I know this was a small market operation with a razor thin budget and an equally narrow margin for error, but make it to season’s end for the love of leather. Team president and general manager Chris Meaux, a hard-working, affable fellow, cited dwindling game attendance, lack of fan interest and a less than appealing 2013 home schedule as the factors that forced the abrupt closure of the Bucs. Meaux and his staff were surely not wearing rose-colored glasses when the team opened with an unusual three home games and saw that the crowds were scarce, to put it mildly. Ownership knew the overhead and fixed costs ahead of time, including arena expenses, salaries, equipment and travel budgets. Game attendance was unimpressive from the outset and didn’t improve any as the team failed to improve, posted early season losses and struggled to gain momentum on the field and at the gate. A team can only give away so many comp tickets. You need to sell seats in hopes of selling merchandise and concessions to reach sales projections. When those goals aren’t met, you can try to cut costs which the Swashbucklers probably did in marketing and advertising. Such cuts don’t help solve the original problem of selling more tickets. It’s a vicious cycle for the smallest minor league operation. In this case, they couldn’t raise ticket prices or sell more corporate sponsorships in mid-season because the fans and business support was tapped out. The last option must have been to try to secure additional funding from ownership to weather the storm. That’s where I surmise the last cleat dropped for the Swashbucklers. Owner and financial backer Kyle Thorne, a Dallas-area real estate developer, must have cut off the purse strings when there wasn’t a flicker of light at the end of the tunnel. In some businesses, there’s a time to simply cut your losses, and that was probably the case with the Swashbucklers. 74

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June 20, 2013

In an interview I did with Thorne two years ago when he purchased the team from previous owner Thom Hagar, he (Thorne) said it was “a good investment for the assets they acquired, with a good business model, but it would take a few years to turn a profit.” He said their goal was “to build a bond with the local fans and establish family entertainment.” Unfortunately, the whims of the fans changed. The business model needed more wins than losses, and the money simply ran out after a year and a half. Those who think Lake Charles and the region are a professional sports market of any kind need a serious dose of reality. The city of Lake Charles, with a stretched population of, say, 100,000, (if you include Moss Bluff) made up well over 90 percent of all ticket sales of any of the sports team to ever call the Civic Center home. The Ice Pirates (minor league hockey), LandSharks and Swashbucklers simply didn’t draw a heavy number of fans from outside the city limits, and a market this size in Louisiana cannot and will not keep any professional franchise successfully afloat for the long term. There may be some exceptions. A weekly MMA (mixed martial arts) tour might work for a few years. Professional rodeo or bull riding might. Better yet, I bet the Duck Dynasty boys from Monroe — Phil, Willie, Jase and Sy — can sell professional skeet shooting and make it work. Heck, the Duck and Buck Commanders can sell just about anything. This isn’t a slap against Lake Charles or Calcasieu Parish. It’s a great sports area in many respects, but the numbers, trends, demographics and varied interests and activities just don’t add up for pro sports in my opinion. You can’t argue with the numbers (or lack thereof). The population base is what it is right now, and hopefully will see significant increases when the industrial boom hits in full force in three to four years. The trend of this market has always been a show me/walk up fan base. Sports consumers won’t buy a huge number of season tickets because they don’t want to commit before knowing whether they are winners or not. McNeese football, basketball and baseball struggle with that marketing dilemma. McNeese Cowboys football is the local standard bearer, but they better not lose too many early season games or the turnstiles will slow. Unfortunately, the Lake Charles demographic is older compared to that of Beaumont and Lafayette. That 24 to 34 demo is more apt to buy sports tickets of any kind if you’re able to lure them to begin with. In the column of interests and activities, Lake Charles is heavily invested in LSU and anything Tigers. If you don’t believe it and think Blue and Gold rules, you’re kidding yourself.

The usual array of outdoor disciplines, such as hunting, fishing, golf and water sports, garner much of the sports fans’ monies. The rest of the ticket-buying public invest in anything LSU football. It’s sports reality, so you better know how to play the game and work around the Purple and Gold craze. McNeese has done an admirable job in selling nearly 9,000 football season tickets. And kudos to McNeese Cowgirls basketball, which regularly outdrew the men’s team at Burton Coliseum. The tenuous nature of minor league sports in Louisiana has plagued other cities over the years. How many indoor football, hockey and baseball teams failed in Shreveport-Bossier City, a market three times the size of Lake Charles? Look to Lafayette (three to four times larger) for multiple failures with indoor football. The Hub City caught lightning in a bottle with the Ice Gators 15 or so years ago with a sold out Cajun Dome, but since then even that record-breaking experiment has settled in as a minor league also ran. Alexandria, Houma and Monroe, all similar in size to Lake Charles, have failed at pro minor league sports. Baton Rouge actually won some indoor football league championship with former McNeese and Saints running back Buford Jordan as the head coach, but also failed after a brief stint. Texas, with all that free-flowing disposable income, isn’t immune to minor league struggles. Beaumont/ Port Arthur has experienced its share of failures in football, baseball and hockey. In the early 2000s, the Lake Charles Ice Pirates seemed to have the winning formula. They rode the wave of the Ice Gators’ success. They had a large group of deep-pocketed local owners, a unique and physical sport never seen in the area before, and cashed in on the “cool factor” of just being at the Ice Pirates games. History chronicled problems with the ice rink at the Civic Center and the overwhelming cost of an ice oval in a building not constructed for that. A longer season meant more home games, which in turn meant fans shelling out more disposable dollars than they were used to. Then there were higher ticket prices because of the higher

overhead of facilities, player salaries and the like. Then there was in-fighting among the ownership group and the novelty of hockey wore off. Soon the ice melted and the hockey Pirates turned into the football LandSharks. It didn’t take long for the goofy Lafayette owners to sell to an Ice Pirates holdover in Thom Hagar, who was more committed to Lake Charles and rebranded the team as the Swashbucklers. Hagar brought together a mixture of rock and roll, circus act and arena football that at times was more entertainment than sport. The fans bought in to the tune of a home game attendance average of over 3,000 tickets at its apex. The LandSharks/Swashbucklers won three indoor championships in leagues too numerous to remember and against suspect competition. But the fans didn’t seem to mind. The team was winning, and it was air conditioned football. When it became tougher to win titles, Hagar saw his attendance numbers taper off and he became more interested in being a commissioner fostering the Southern Indoor Football League that he founded. It took him a couple of years, but he finally found a buyer of the Swashbucklers in Thorne who brought in Meaux, a Louisiana native living in Dallas, to run the team. Hagar’s league is no more. The Swashbucklers were absorbed by the IPFL in hopes they could finish the season as a road team. Thorne is licking his financial wounds. Meaux is intent on staying in the area if he can. Bucs veteran head coach Darnell Lee, who invested an immeasurable amount of time, effort and sweat as a player and coach with the team, will return to his full time job as a high school football coach. All in all it was a nice run. A small but passionate fan base lived beyond its means in a city that for 12 years was an anomaly in the world of small market minor league sports. It’s time to put aside further fantasies of another go at arena football, or baseball or heaven forbid basketball. Southwest Louisiana is best suited for a shared stage of college and high school sports.

June 20, 2013

LAGNIAPPE

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Info or Estimates: 526.2533 76

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VERY HIGH TRAFFIC LOCATION ON HWY 171 IN MOSS BLUFF! Adjacent to Bronco Stop. Full kitchen, dining area, tables, drink machines & more. Call Wali today and open your dream restaurant! 337-244-4423 gp _________________

services ELECTRONIC E X C A L I B U R INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY Systems-"If it's electronic, I can fix it"Excellent service at an exceptional cost. Full on-site services for all your technology needs! Excalibur ITS.com or call Ivan at 337-912-1490 k1220

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Southwest SW Manufactured HOMES & RV'S Housing, Inc. NEW • USED • REPOS • SALES & SERVICE

LAND/HOME PACKAGES

ZERO DOWN TO QUALIFIED BUYERS Corner of Hwy 90 and Hwy 171

www.swhomeslc.com 436-5593

services LAWN & GARDEN HINTON AND MOSS LAWN SERVICELicensed, bonded, and insured. Residential and commercial. Free estimates, call 337515-5255 k1004 _________________

Tree Removal, Stump Grinding, Land Clearing, Demolition, Crane Work, Debris Hauling. Bonded. Insured. License AR 1604 337-884-6881

PERSONAL TRAINING Erick FranklinHead Trainer at The Gym. Offering customized workout plans for Jr. High to College aged athletes looking to improve. Strength & Conditioning, Wide Receiver Training, Agility & Conditioning classes available, including many more! AFFORDABLE RATES. 337-660-5717

g0502-2012

k0816

services LAWN SERVICE S & S Lawn Service ~ For mowing and trimming, and all your lawn and garden needs; both commercial and residential. We are licensed and insured, and welcome free estimates. For a yard your neighbors will envy, call David at 884.0342 or 588.4000 k1018 _________________

WOW! 2004 HARLEY DAVIDSON SOFTAIL FATBOY 9000 miles, garage kept, lots of custom and chrome, only $8500. CALL 337302-0016 _________________ PLACE YOUR AD CALL KENNY AT 433-8502 TODAY! class@thelanyap.com _________________

Start an Exciting Career in Emergency Communications Entry Level $24,900 year w/benefits Apply at 911 Hodges Street, 2nd floor. Equal Opportunity Employer June 20, 2013

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services

announcements

MISC. SERVICES

HAIR SALON

Sell that Junk Car for Cash! I will buy your junk car, truck, van, motor home, or trailer. I also buy ATV’s, motorcycles, and even farm equipment. Even if it’s not running, you can make from $400 to $600. Clean your yard up, and decide what you’ll spend your extra money on! HELP WANTED Experienced mechanic needed. Call now at 526.9533. k1018

COUNTRY CLUB HAIR - Where a haircut still comes with a lollipop and a smile. Over 25 years in business. Walk-ins welcome. Located on 1214 Country Club Rd. Open Tuesday-Friday 8:30-5:30, Saturdays 8am-2pm. Call 4744722 k0816 _________________

Your friends will be talking about it for years to come ...

MAGICIAN HARRY JOSEPH Interactive magician Harry Joseph will perform a variety of magical entertainment for your Birthday Party, Special Event and Church Actvities. Professional and lots of fun!

337-540-3938 harryjoseph00@gmail.com

CABINET SHOP Custom Countertops Affordable Pricing Professional Custom Woodwork Entire Lake Charles Area

302-6903 PLACE YOUR AD CALL KENNY AT 433-8502 TODAY! class@thelanyap.com _________________

DOWN ON THE BAYOU

RARE COINS Gold & Silver Coins Currency Mint & Proof Sets All Coins Graded w/Photograde I BUY COLLECTIONS

GREAT NEIGHBORHOOD $37,500 PER ACRE OR MAKE OFFER

KEMBLE GUILLORY CALL 802-5402

SOUTH LAKE CHARLES 478-2386 884-2386

PLACE YOUR AD CALL KENNY AT 433-8502 TODAY! class@thelanyap.com _________________

services FENCING

NEW! CUSTOM

3 ACRES ELEVATED LAND

FENCEMAKERS We build chainlink, barbed, privacy, electric, net, wooden, and security fences, free estimates. Call David today at 337-375-4747. k0920 _________________

Tree Removal, Stump Grinding, Land Clearing, Bonded. Insured. License AR 1604 337-884-6881 g0502-2012

real estate MOBILE HOMES

services PLUMBING RAPHAEL BENOIT CUSTOM HOME BUILDERS - Home improvements, Remodeling & Additions. New Home Construction. Serving SWLA since 1993. Call Raphael Benoit at 337-802-6522 k0816 _________________

MOBILE HOME TO BE MOVED. 3/2, BO over $8,000. Camper for rent. All bills paid. 2 acre lot south of Lake Charles. 477-6243 or 564-5859 gpnmr _________________ PLACE YOUR AD HERE AND START GETTING RESULTS! CALL KENNY AT 433-8502 TODAY class@thelanyap.com _________________

PAPER HEROES Buying U.S. Coins & Currency

Gold, Silver, Coins & Sets

MAGIC THE GATHERING TOURNAMENTS HELD WEEKLY

services CONSTRUCTION

BOUCHER & SON'S CONSTRUCTION ~ YOU’VE FOUND THE RIGHT COMPANY! Give us call for all your construction, carpentry, painting, and damage repairs. Licensed, Bonded, and Insured. Member of the Better Business Bureau. Give Tom a call at 337-474-2844 (office) or 337-842-1455 (cell) AND SEE HOW AFFORDABLE UPGRADING YOUR HOME CAN BE! 474.2844. k0313 _________________

real estate CORPORATE LEASE Approx 3500 sf, 4BR, 3 BA, minutes from beach, L'Auberge and boat launch. Fully furnished, turnkey, large patio, bbq pit, fenced yard, $2750 per month. 713-829-2974, ask for Ron Wiggins.

478-2143 3941 Ryan Street, Lake Charles

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Larry A. Roach, Inc. A PROFESSIONAL LAW CORPORATION

Accidents • Wrongful Death Serious Personal Injury Criminal, Domestic Law Cases

k1220

Laundry W rld Larry A. Roach (1932-2003) Barry A. Roach • Larry A. Roach, Jr. Fred C. "Bubba" LeBleu • David M. Hudson

2917 Ryan St. • Lake Charles (337) 433-8504 • Fax (337) 433-3196 78

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June 20, 2013

Do Your Laundry in 4 Minutes! 2 minutes to drop off 2 minutes to pick up 4319 Common St. • 474-8748 2501 Hwy 14 • 433-7503

Professional Wash, Dry, Fold/Hang Service Dry Cleaning Available PUT US TO WORK FOR YOU TODAY!

announcements WE WILL BUY! SELL THAT JUNK CAR FOR CASH! I will buy your junk car, truck, van, motor home, or trailer. I also buy ATV’s, motorcycles, and even farm equipment. Even if it’s not running, you can make from $400 to $600. Clean your yard up, and decide what you’ll spend your extra money on! HELP WANTED Experienced mechanic needed.Call now at 526.9533. k1018 _________________

services AUTO REPAIR

YOUR SOURCE LAWN & GARDEN TIRES 477-9850 478-6565 527-6355 "People you trust, products you depend on"

announcements

services

RETAIL / OFFICE RETAIL OR OFFICE SPACE FOR LEASE. "Single or double available. Includes conference room usage, kitchen, 2 handicap accessible bathrooms, parking in front and behind building. 154 W. McNeese. Call Castle Real Estate today for details! 337-480-6555 ph _________________

announcements NEW PRODUCTS NEW PRODUCT OR INVENTION? Have 20 connections in China and Vietnam for manufacture of new products. Let us know what you have or need. Call Bryan or Ron today 1-800-634-5816. ph _________________

KNOX FENCE FLIGHT TRAINING! VISION AVIATION, LLC; LICENSED INSTRUCTOR(S). Fly to new heights with our one of a kind “Discovery Flight” to see the sights for only $65! Makes a unique and adventurous gift. Gift Certificates available now. Call and reserve your fun at 478.7722. k2013apr

Don’t blend in, make your home stand out with a customized fence. Choose your own design or one of ours. We also do chainlink, ornamental, aluminum and iron fencing. Can install electric or solar gate operators. Call for a free estimate. Licensed and insured, 20+ years of experience. Ask for Steve at 337.540.6973 k0621

JUNK CARS SELL THAT JUNK CAR FOR CASH! I will buy your junk car, truck, van, motor home, or trailer. I also buy ATV’s, motorcycles, and even farm equipment. Even if it’s not running, you can make from $400 to $600. Clean your yard up, and decide what you’ll spend your extra money on! Call now at 526.9533. k1018 _________________ PLACE YOUR AD HERE! CALL KENNY AT 433-8502 TODAY! class@thelanyap.com _________________

classified FULL-TIME SATELLITE TECHNICIANS NEEDED for well-established company. Paid training, $500 sign on bonus, paid weekly. Call Josh @ 888-959-9675 or submit resume to careers@satcountry.com

services DOORS WHY PAY MORE FOR DOORS 800 instock Doors Windows & More. 489-4313 csta15 _________________

FINANCING AVAILABLE! 2002 Pewter, 3rd row, runs great, financing available! 2003 CHEVY MAZDASUBURBAN TRIBUTE Black, runs great, financing available! 1999 Silver, come come see it,see financing available, call Luke 302-2912 2006 GMC FORDYUKON ESCAPE Pewter, it, financing available, call Papania Luke 302-2912! 2002 626MARINER Come drive it! 2005 MAZDA MERCURY Come drive it! 2002 SUBURBAN 165k, comereal drive it today! 2008 CHEVY HYUNDAI SANTA FEGrey, White, leather, nice, come drive it today!

Cash for Junk Cars Need Extra Cash? WE ARE NOW BUYING CARS • TRUCKS VANS • ATV’S • MOTORCYCLES

services BOAT & RV STORAGE BOAT & RV STORAGE - 6102 COMMON STREET. SECURED STORAGE! Call 337564-5377 cr _________________

Also Motor Homes, Trailers and Farm Equipment. Not running? You can still make $400 and up! Get your yard cleaned up while deciding how you’ll spend your extra money!

announcements

CALL 526-9533

WE WILL BUY!

classified k0621

These & more quality vehicles... call Luke Papania today at 302-2912! 803 E. McNeese • 337-562-9211

SELL THAT JUNK CAR FOR CASH! I will buy your junk car, truck, van, motor home, or trailer. I also buy ATV’s, motorcycles, and even farm equipment. Even if it’s not running, you can make from $400 to $600. Clean your yard up, and decide what you’ll spend your extra money on! HELP WANTED Experienced mechanic needed.Call now at 526.9533. k1018 _________________

HWY 90 CONSIGNMENT STORAGE Cars • Trucks • Boats • RV's Mobile Homes • Vans Safe and Secure Storage forThose Big Items in Your Way! CONSIGNMENT: Your items can be put up for consignment to make that extra money when you decide you no longer need storage for you item. Good prices, and large customer base to purchase any items you store with us.

Call now and make some room OR some cash for your items: 337.526.2533

FULL TIME SATELLITE TECHNICIANS NEEDED for well-established company. Paid Training, $500 sign on bonus, paid weekly. Call Josh @ 888-959-9675 or submit resume to careers@satcountry.com June 20, 2013

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HOUSE LEVELING

Laundry W rld

LIFTING AND MOVING GUARANTEED 2-YEAR WARRANTY FOR ALL LABOR AND MATERIALS! Foundation Repair • Concrete Slab Stabilization Licensed, Bonded and Insured • References

CALL ONE STOP

337-309-7301 NEW PRODUCTS

NEW PRODUCT OR INVENTION? Have 20 connections in China and Vietnam for manufacture of new products. Let us know what you have or need. Call Bryan or Ron today 1-800-634-5816. ph _________________

announcements

real estate MOBILE HOMES MOBILE HOME TO BE MOVED. 3/2, BO over $8,000. Camper for rent. All bills paid. 2 acre lot south of Lake Charles. 477-6243 or 564-5859 gpnmr _________________

SHOP A-LOT DELI NOW SERVING OYSTERS! Drive-Thru Daiquiri Window Longer Dining Hours M-F 10AM-6PM SAT 10AM-4PM

2707 HAZEL 433-2135

4319 Common St. • 474-8748 2501 Hwy 14 • 433-7503

services

RETAIL / OFFICE

DINING OUT

2 minutes to drop off 2 minutes to pick up

for well-established company. Paid Training, $500 sign on bonus, paid weekly. Call Josh @ 888-959-9675 or submit resume to careers@satcountry.com

Professional Wash, Dry, Fold/Hang Service Dry Cleaning Available

www.onestophouseleveling.com

announcements

Do Your Laundry in 4 Minutes!

FULL TIME SATELLITE TECHNICIANS NEEDED

PLACE YOUR AD HERE AND START GETTING RESULTS! A lot of people are paying way too much for classified advertising. Don't be one of them! CALL LAMONT AT 660-8877 TODAY class@thelanyap.com _________________

THE

TRANSMISSION SHOP We work on all transmissions!

5817 Common Street Lake Charles 337-540-3795 337-540-6908

help wanted FULL TIME SATELLITE TECHNICIANS NEEDED for wellestablished co. Paid training, $500 sign on bonus, paid weekly. Call Josh now @ 888959-9675 or submit resume to careers@ satcountry.com ph _________________

C. Scot LaFargue Owner

classified

Call Samantha @ Rhino Real Estate

337-304-6686 337-433-9434 Our Address: 1027 Enterprise Lake Charles, LA 70601 1010 Enterprise Blvd.-$179,000 3 bed/2 bath. Wood floors, fireplaces, sits on four lots. Great commercial potential with plenty of parking, updated electrical and plumbing. New Lot For Sale-Drive by 709 16th Street for the low price of $9,000 Charming Home In Sulphur-$55,000. 3 bed/1 bath located on close to a full acre. Go by and have a look at this ideal family home at 1301 Sherwood, call for appointment viewing. 738 Kirkman St.-4 bed/3.5 bath around 3500 sq. feet, Bonus 1000 sq. feet on 3rd floor ready to finish out. Features FOUR fireplaces! Wood floors, updated kitchen and baths, pocket doors, walk-in closets, new paint, electrical and plumbing for $257,000. 759 Louisiana Ave-House with 4 apartments which bring in $1600 income sitting on an acre downtown. House has lots of potential, negotiable $229,900. OWNER FINANCING AVAILABLE. 2203 Walker St. Westlake. 3/2 1650 living, 2 big living areas. New paint throughout, new carpet in bedrooms and wood vinyl in living areas. $139,900 715 Magazine-Nice family home, over 2500 sq. feet of living. 3bed/2bath. Two living areas plus sunroom. $179,900 2.1 Acres Off Gulf Hwy $44,000 821 Sycamore St. 2bed/1bath $63,000. Nice wood floors, Central AC. 2222 Linda Dr., Westlake. $100,000 Log House 4 bedroom / 2 bath

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June 20, 2013

Transform Your Patio, Walkway, Driveway, Living Areas, Pool Deck and More!

View our virtual portfolio online at www.creativeconcretebyron.com

We can stamp or stain any pattern and any color for permanent beauty!

CALL US TODAY FOR A FREE CONSULTATION!

855-8333 540-0943 Ron Guidroz, owner LICENSED, BONDED AND INSURED

LEGEND

LANDSCAPES Licensed & Insured

337-499-4664 Commercial & Residential • Landscape Lawn Care • Hardscape Seasonal Bedding & Clean-Ups • Maintenance June 20, 2013

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June 20, 2013

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WIN $3,000 OR YOUR CHANCE AT BOATS, KAYAKS AND MORE! Fridays and Saturdays in June

Calypso’s Buffet ®

Monday – Saturday

Breakfast $5* • Lunch $7* Sunday – Thursday

Dinner $11* Sunday Brunch $7* With Fan Club® card.

Earn a gift! Sundays in June Noon – Midnight

connect with us

I-10, Exit 27 Lake Charles, LA • 1-800-THE-ISLE (843-4753) www.isleofcapricasinos.com © 2013 Isle of Capri Casinos, Inc. *Gratuity not included. $17.99 without Fan Club card. Disregard if prohibited from visiting Louisiana casinos.