Wendy Colonna Resurrection

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LETTERS TO THE EDITOR P.O. Box 3292 • Lake Charles, LA 70602 • edit@thelanyap.com. Include full name and contact phone number.

Louisiana’s Economic Renaissance In January 2008, we took office just as our country was plunging into the deepest national recession in decades. Our nation lost millions of jobs, and most states still haven’t recovered their pre-recession employment levels. To ensure that we weathered the recession better than other states, we set out to improve Louisiana’s business climate so companies would want to invest here and create jobs for our people. We immediately got to work on overhauling ethics laws, cutting taxes, revamping our workforce development program and reforming our education system, so that we could create a competitive business climate. Thanks to these reforms, Louisiana now ranks higher in every national business-climate ranking than it ever did prior to 2008, and tens of thousands of job opportunities are being created in Louisiana so that our people don’t have to leave home to pursue their dreams. Southwest Louisiana has been a significant part of this success story. Since 2008, significant projects have been announced throughout Southwest Louisiana, including Sempra (130 jobs), Boise Packaging & Newsprint (54 jobs), Zagis USA (75 jobs), CB&I Modular Solutions (1,400 jobs), Cheniere Energy (148 jobs),

AAR Corporation (500), and the largest manufacturing investment in state history, as well as one of the largest foreign direct investments in U.S. history — the Sasol project in Westlake, representing $16-21 billion in capital investment, and 1,253 new direct and 5,886 new indirect jobs. Since 2008, in Southwest Louisiana alone, we’ve announced 21 major economic development wins that will result in nearly 15,000 new jobs and more than $35 billion in new capital investment. Southwest Louisiana also has moved up in the rankings. Lake Charles placed No. 1 in the Top 10 Metro Areas sized 50,000 to 200,000 residents in Site Selection magazine’s New Plant Database. The success in Southwest Louisiana is part of an emerging statewide economic resurgence. Overall, since 2008, we have secured economic development projects adding 83,000 new jobs and $54 billion in new capital investment in Louisiana. Louisiana’s economy is continuing to thrive as we continue to outperform both the national and Southern economies. In May, we set an all-time record for private-sector employment in Louisiana. Since January 2008, job growth in Louisiana ranks second best in the South, and sixth best nationally. In just the last 12 months, we’ve added 38,900 new jobs, and we are one of only a handful of states with more jobs today than before the recession started. Louisiana’s GDP has grown by $36 billion since 2008, representing growth that is nearly 50 percent faster than the national GDP. Per capita income in our state has grown by more than $3,600 during the last five years, and it’s at its second-highest ranking in more than 80 years. And my favorite statistic: For the past five years in a row, more people have been moving into Louisiana than moving out of our state, reversing a 25-year trend of more people leaving Louisiana than moving into the state. This is good news, but our work isn’t finished yet. Now that we have created an environment where businesses want to invest and thousands of jobs are being created, our next big challenge is ensuring that we can develop the skilled workforce to meet the demands of the booming job market. Over the next few years, Louisiana will experience the biggest manufacturing expansion on record since the 1960s and 1970s. Our entire state will need to train workers to fill at least 86,000 industrial construction jobs — including craft workers, as well as engineering, management and support staff. This is what some call a good problem to have. The bottom line is that Louisiana is undergoing an economic renaissance where thousands of job opportunities will be available for our people so they can pursue their dreams here at home. Gov. Bobby Jindal

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Not Getting What She’s Paying For When I go to the store, I decide, based on my available income, what I can and cannot buy. If I see something I want, and if I can afford it, I may purchase it if it is of the quality that the price infers. If I feel the price is too high for what it appears I may be getting, I don’t purchase it. It is a choice. This year, when I went to my accountant to have my taxes done, I realized that for the price I was paying, I was not getting the quality of return I felt was comparable to the money I was spending. Since I am single, I have no real deductions. I’ve paid for the education of children even though I have none, which would not be a concern, since I want an educated community. But when I watch the news, I don’t see where this is happening. There is so much talk about how we are getting behind in technology and education. I guess money alone doesn’t necessarily educate. I see that no matter how much I pay each year, I’m not getting the quality that I feel I should be getting for the purchase price. If the government works for me, the tax payer, I want a choice of the quality of government I pay for. Government has become an inferior product. I don’t want to pay for a government that doesn’t know what is going on and is unable to answer my questions. Benghazi was how many months ago? We were told someone would be held responsible, but I have not heard of anyone being arrested yet; and, oh my goodness, let us not even talk about all the press conferences where a video was being held responsible for the atrocity. Even if a video did anger the foreign populace, our constitution protects freedom of speech in this country, and we do not bow down to foreign powers because of our free speech. There are many things I have heard that I did not like, but the other citizen had the right to say it. I no longer want to pay for trivial travel for everyone. I don’t want to listen to a government who can’t make up their mind what the constitution stands for. If you can’t be accountable for knowing the very constitution you are to uphold, then you shouldn’t be in office. Everyone else is held accountable for the jobs they are being paid to do. If a question arises as to what is going on in that job, the one in charge either acknowledges it and seeks resolution, or they are fired. I don’t want to pay and listen to people who contradict themselves because they are self motivated by political ambition. I want to pay for representation where those in charge ask themselves not what their country can do for them, but what they can do for their country. I don’t want to spend money on anti-smoking campaigns and then have government pass laws that allow marijuana use. I don’t want government spending money on pre-

natal care and then pass abortion laws, and ask for my money to support it, especially when it means I have to pay for something that goes against my religious beliefs and falls within the rights of my religious freedom. It is not okay to neglect a fetus, but it is alright to kill it, and then have Americans pay for it? I don’t want the government telling me to tighten my belt and then spend the money I’m paying them to go on trips, and campaign for the next election, when they haven’t got a handle on the office they were just voted in for. If government was such a superior product for the price I was being charged, I doubt I would be receiving so much mail to help all the causes that are still out there. Give me some of my money back, and I would be able to give where I see the problems within my own family, community, church and state. The government could then concentrate on balancing a budget that would benefit the country in defense and catastrophic disasters, and then have time to inform themselves of what is going on in our consulates, and on terrorism. As many wars as have been fought on foreign ground by Americans to help preserve the freedoms of others, let us not forget that when freedoms were deprived for those in this country, it was Americans fighting against Americans to uphold the freedoms of all. We fought to correct our own problems, with no help from those abroad. I expect my taxes, my payment for services, to include answers as to what is going on in my country. I want to know about what happened in Benghazi. I want to know who in the IRS targeted a special group of tax payers. I want to know why some furloughs affecting some federal employees are still in place, while those affecting Congress have been lifted. I want to know why people in office, and who are responsible for their post, have no answers for the happenings in their very office. I want to know why we accept the fact that our top leaders, the ones we are paying, can get up in front of the cameras and dance around the tree, and say nothing on important issues because they plead ignorance with “we have to investigate” and we never hear the answer. We never get a resolution of the issue. I want to know why, with all the exorbitant taxes that are being paid, we don’t have a balanced budget, and the debt is allowed to explode. I want a choice as to the quality of government I’m paying for. How do I say no to what I am paying in taxes because I feel the product is inferior? Donna M. Fertitta

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modification of Axiall’s hazardous waste permit, allowing the company to replace 19 of its remedial wells with a permanent 1,700-foot-long steel wall along Bayou Verdine. The estimated $2 million wall, sunk to a depth of 15 feet, will seal off the North Dock area, preventing the company’s contaminated discharge from migrating into the bayou. Axiall will continue to operate two of its groundwater withdrawal wells to capture shallow groundwater being contained by wells that will be removed when the barrier wall is installed. Construction on the wall is expected to start by December. The wall is scheduled for completion in early 2014.

LOCAL NEWS STORIES OF THE PAST TWO WEEKS Parish Sewer Plan Scaled Back The proposed sewer expansion plan for the unincorporated areas of Calcasieu Parish has been scaled back by nearly $40 million. The new plan reduces the amount of work from $148 million to $110 million. It would be funded by a smaller sales tax and would rely on more of the parish’s gambling funds. About half of the plan would be funded by a proposed 20-year, quartercent sales tax in the parish’s unincorporated areas instead of the half-cent sales tax that was proposed in July. The tax would go before voters in April, if approved by the Police Jury.

Judge Wilford Carter To Step Down Fourteenth Judicial District Judge Wilford Carter has announced he will step down at the end of October. Carter, 65, is the longest-serving judge in 14th Judicial District Court, having served 21 years. He is also one of the first black judges elected in Calcasieu’s state district court.

Chief Judge David Ritchie has contacted the Supreme Court to begin the process of replacing Carter. A special election will be called, since there is more than one year left on Carter’s sixyear term. Carter has said he plans to return to private legal practice. He is not ruling out a return to public office in some other role.

Ribbon-Cutting Held For Ryan Streetscape Project A ribbon cutting ceremony was held recently to celebrate the newly completed Ryan Streetscape project. The ceremony was held in front of the Historic City Hall Arts and Cultural Center, and was followed by a ribbon cutting that took place across Ryan Street between Iris and Kirby Streets.

Police Jury Looking At Beautification Of I-10 Corridor Calcasieu Parish officials are seeking an opinion from state Attorney General Buddy Caldwell on whether any

Gill St. Extension Completed

of the state money designated for maintaining and improving parish right-ofways can be used on the beautification of the right-of-way along the Interstate 10 corridor. Parish Administrator Bryan Beam said the parish and other entities are “exploring possibilities” on funding beautification along the corridor. He said state funds allocated to the parish have not yet been committed for landscaping or other improvements along the corridor.

LC City Court Moves Into New Building

The city of Lake Charles recently held a ribbon-cutting ceremony for the newly completed Gill Street extension project.The new stretch of Gill St. runs west from Lakeshore Drive to Bord Du Lac Dr., and the extension links the downtown area to the lakefront for pedestrian and vehicular traffic. The project included a new electrical system with new street lights, a new concrete roadway with a stone base, new sidewalks, a new underground drainage system, and new sewer and water line systems.

City Council Honors Geyen

Lake Charles City Court has moved into its new 22,000-square-foot building at 100 Mill St. In addition to providing 9,000 sq. ft. of additional space for the court, the building will also provide better security, holding cells and improved layout.

Axiall To Install Steel Wall Pollution Controls

The Lake Charles City Council recently presented councilman Rodney Geyen a certificate for his work as principal at Pearl Watson Elementary School. The school, once ranked near the bottom of the state in test scores, was recently recognized by the U.S. Department of Education’s Blue Ribbon Schools Program.

The state Department of Environmental Quality has approved the

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contents

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LAGNIAPPE MAGAZINE • OCTOBER 17, 2013 • VOLUME 31 NUMBER 20

36 36 WENDY COLONNA: THE PHOENIX AND THE BEE • On the verge of quitting music, Wendy Colonna experienced a musical and personal “resurrection” that she chronicles in her new CD Nectar. 40 LESSONS LEARNED AT THE AIR SHOW • One writer explains that people can accomplish extraordinary things when they make extraordinary commitments. 42 DREAM RIDES • Several area collectors of rare and exotic high performance cars tall about how they developed their love of their vehicles. Karla Wall reports. 62 HOME IMPROVEMENT • Lagniappe reporter Calvin Tyler explains how he caught the renovator’s bug and created a

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new kitchen floor for a local historical home. Also, when does it make more sense to demolish a house than try to save it? 78 BIG SCARE IN BIG WOODS • Is it true one can hear ghostly children’s laughter in Big Woods cemetery at night? Lagniappe reports on the cemetery’s colorful past and its spooky present — just in time for Halloween.

Lagniappe Magazine Serving SWLA Since 1983 Publishers Bob Hartnett Greg Pavlovich Editor Brad Goins Associate Editor Karla Wall Assistant Laura Landry Layout & Design Mike Manis Advertising Sales Tanya Alsobrook Patty Hebert Chester Rogers Classified Manager Rose Sauls Distribution Manager Edward Frazer Contributing Writers Jeremy Alford Dr. Dale Archer Duane Bergeron Angie Kay Dilmore Todd Elliott Pierre Fontenot Rocke Fournet Arthur Hebert John Maginnis Rick Sarro Chuck Shepherd Calvin Tyler Vic Wukovits

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Office Phone (337) 433-8502 Office Fax (337) 433-8964 Mailing Address PO Box 3292 Lake Charles, LA 70602 Shipping Address 2906 Deaton Street Lake Charles, LA 70601 Editorial e-mail edit@thelanyap.com Advertising e-mail ads@thelanyap.com Classified e-mail class@thelanyap.com Lagniappe Magazine is published the first and third Thursday of each month. Manuscripts, photographs, comments and queries are invited. Return postage must accompany all materials submitted if return is requested. Publisher assumes no responsibility for unsolicited materials. Opinions presented by the columnists in this publication do not necessarily express the views of Lagniappe Magazine.

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departments 4 9 11 16 20

Box 3292 Up Front Pierre Sez LA Politics Economics, Etc.

22 24 26 34 82

Weird News Political Notebook File 13 Tech Bytes What's Happening

86 87 89 90 99

Reel Talk Mounted Memories High School Cross Country Sarro On Sports Uncle P's


up

front About Town — Let’s all join in a big shout-out for Sulphur resident Brytanni MacNamara. MacNamara has started an organization called Operation Hope, which is designed to help stop human trafficking and slavery. This would be a newsworthy project regardless of who was doing it. But it becomes especially newsworthy when we learn that MacNamara is 14 and a freshman in high school. We can’t be sure what sort of impact Operation Hope will have. After all, human trafficking is a mighty big opponent to take on. But even if the impact is less than what MacNamara hopes for, she’s taken that hard first step; gotten in front of cameras and microphones; and put the whole thing in motion. At age 14, she’s already done more than most people do in an entire lifetime. That’s certainly newsworthy. Let’s also have a shout-out for the American Press, which chose to put this story on the front page with a photo in the top half of the page. It was the No. 2 story — and in the Sunday edition. (That is to say, people read it.) It was an innovative journalistic choice and a good job all over. — I’ve been wondering for years how long it would take the city or university to get around to hosting a large-scale exhibit of local artist Heather Ryan Kelley’s work. It’ll be here soon; the opening events for the show “Some Thoughts About Perfection” will start Oct. 18 at 5:30 pm. The show will run through Jan. 4 at the Historic City Hall Arts and Cultural Center. Kelley is the most talented experimental artist in our area. This exhibit will place a heavy emphasis on things that have been abandoned, artifacts, old paper (such as

Sleeping Giant

cards, advertisements), trophies, studio debris and other things that everyday people might consider inconsequential (or even nuisances), but that the artist might notice and find some beauty or visual value in. In the past, Kelley has made art with patterns of commercial tile, numbers used in marketing and labeling, and even garbage. continued

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For this show, Kelley’s emphasizing the everyday objects that are called “vanitas.” Vanitas is, of course, Latin for “vanity,” and the objects shown in the long history of vanitas paintings have symbolized the vanity and brevity of human life. Bubbles and hourglasses are common vanitas objects, as they indicate things that pass out of existence quickly. (They also reflect a lot of light, of course.) Skulls have been common features in vanitas paintings. For years, Kelly has used the motif of the “midden heap,” or pile of objects people have discarded, in her art. There’s a close link with this motif and the main literary influence on her work, James Joyce’s novel Finnegan’s Wake. Kelley has written that in the novel, “The artist Shem, an ‘alshemist,’ transforms his rubbish into art. Joyce saw the midden heap, or pile of artifacts, as a metaphor for artistic creation.” In the painting that’s reproduced with this column, The Sleeping Giant, you’ll see Kelley has painted an image of a midden heap right on the canvas. The heap of artifacts and the other heaps in the painting have the same shape as the sleeping giant Finn in Joyce’s novel. They also “coincide nicely” with one of Kelley’s earliest memories: the Sleeping Giant Mountain in Connecticut, which forms the painting’s background. (Kelley runs the Midden Heap Press. Go to heatherryankelley.com and click on Midden Heap Press for loads of imagery and info about Joyce.) Kelley says she’s “especially interested in developing a personal vocabulary of vanitas imagery.” The themes that are nudging Kelley towards this personal set of images are thoughtful ones: those of “missing the boat or falling short of the mark.” Viewers can judge for themselves how the objects used in this art reflect those very basic, very human experiences. As for the title “Some Thoughts About Perfection,” well, even talented artists may feel they fall pretty far from perfection; again, viewers can make their own judgments. I’ve always admired artists who can do something new each time around (or even do something new once, for that matter). Kelley is one of those. (Of course, I also admire artists who can do one thing very well over and over. I guess both types are about equally rare.) The Historic City Hall is open Monday-Friday, 10 am-5pm, and Saturday 10 am2pm. Admission is free; donations are accepted. If you need to know more, call 4919147. The security guard at the rear entrance can tell you where you need to go.

On Behalf Of Local Weather I hesitate to comment on what’s written in the local press for fear I might be seen as criticizing competitors. But I guess I can risk it. It was written in a local publication about a month ago that “there’s nothing

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remotely attractive” about fall weather in SWLA and that “there’s … no comparison to the fall season up north.” Just for the record, I’ll note that the leaves here start to change color and fall in late August and early September. I walk my dog daily, and by mid-September, we’re walking on a carpet of leaves. The colors of the leaves are the same as up north – brown, yellow, red. The temperatures are warmer than up north, of course, but the temperatures never seem (to me, anyway) to have any effect on the colors. I always felt that changing colors of leaves had more to do with Hallmark Cards and Thomas Kincaid paintings than anything that was of importance to me. But one facet of local nature that is important to me is the live oak, which, with the wild, creepy twists of its branches, looks atmospheric and mysterious — like something out of a Bronte novel or a Lovecraft story. Of course, the leaves of live oaks don’t change colors in the fall. I moved down here because I was tired of shoveling snow out of my driveway then shoveling it again when the snow plow came by and laid a new pile of snow on the drive. I was tired of falling on ice; tired of scraping snow off my roof and digging ice out of my gutters with my freezing, wet hands. Since I came here. I haven’t spent one minute shoveling snow. I haven’t fallen on ice once. (Now, I will note in all fairness that the writer who penned the comments I cited above also wrote, “winter and I are not friends,” so she may sympathize with some of these sentiments.) Anyway, I thought it might be a good idea for someone to put in a good word for local weather. I imagine no climate is perfect. But this one will do for me until the perfect one comes along.

What People Aren’t Talking About A few weeks ago I got an email from Gov. Bobby Jindal’s official email engineer Jordan Gleason informing me that the governor was inviting President Obama to come down to Louisiana and talk with Jindal about vouchers. Because I’d seen this email, I wasn’t at all surprised when Obama called me in a couple of hours and conveyed this message to me: “Brad, could you tell Jindal I’m really, really sorry I haven’t been down to talk with him about the vouchers yet? Believe me, there’s nothing in the world I’ve wanted to do more in the last few months. But there’s been this Syria thing, and the NSA, and everybody’s asking me about the Iran thing. And now the government has shut down, of all things. On top of all that, I’ve got problems with the new manager in the White House supply shop not wanting to sell Maxim and the new White House chef who’s


making noise about having to cook with truffles. Man, believe me, if there was any way I could get down to Baton Rouge, I’d be there yesterday. But with things the way they are now, I just don’t see how I can do it. Brad, please — I mean, PLEASE — send my apologies to Bobby. I really mean it, man. I wanted to be there. You know I did.” That made me feel bad for both Obama and Jindal. So, I tried to find someone else who’d be willing to visit Jindal and talk with him about his vouchers. I tried for a couple of weeks, but I just couldn’t find anybody who wanted to talk about vouchers. Fortunately, I did find lots of people who are willing to talk to Jindal about other subjects. Here’s the list. Rob Zombie will go to Jindal and talk to him about horror movies. Jonah Hill will talk with the governor about comedy. Alice Glass will talk about on-stage performance and hair dying. Lemmy will talk about vocal stylings. Meredith Monk will talk about experimental music. Bill Nye will talk with Jindal about dinosaurs. Miley Cyrus will talk about sexuality. Justin Bieber will talk about cage fighting, and several of the Suicide Girls will talk about alternative modeling. So, get ready, Governor! You’re about to have some company! Sorry, but I guess the vouchers thing just isn’t a big topic of conversation these days. But if you’re still lonely after you entertain all these guests, get in touch with me and I’ll do another search for somebody who wants to talk about vouchers. There’s a guy who sells roasted peanuts in the alley behind Trey Trey’s Mudbogging Emporium who has expressed a little interest in the subject.

Weary Of The News? So, do you want to read some more stories about the government shutdown, sequestration and budget ceiling? How about a few more stories on the new health care plan? If you’re ever tired of the news, get your relief by visiting the site for the New York Daily News. One difference between the Daily News and the late, great Weekly World News is that a lot of the stuff in the Daily News probably really happened. Spend 10 minutes on the Daily News site and you’ll get the idea that there’s an alternative world on the same planet we’re on. All these headlines ran on the site IN ONE DAY:

“The women of Simon Cowell” “Meet the best-dressed dog on Instagram” “Hooters turns 30” “Pickled snake comes back to life, bites Chinese woman” “Elderly woman urinates on Houston businessman” I know I sort of suggested above that I wouldn’t write anything about the health care act. But the next headline is so hilarious there was no way I could resist it: “Jimmy Kimmel proves that many Americans don’t understand there’s no difference between Obamacare and the Affordable Care Act” Sorry about that.

Spoiler Alert! A few weeks ago, I saw a DVD of a movie called Gatsby. You won’t believe what happens in this thing! I’ll give you a quick run-down. OK, so it starts out with this crazy guy who’s talking to his shrink who says he should write everything down so he writes about this dude named Gatsby who lived in a pretty big house and got rich by doing some shady stuff and used to live right next door when he lived in a little shack. So one day Gatsby comes over and tells the crazy guy he wants to have tea with his cousin Daisy, so they all have tea. Meantime, Daisy’s husband drives real fast through this raunchy part of town where people are dirty and sweaty and working and dancing and playing saxophone and a big old creepy billboard with two big eyes and a big pair of glasses looks down on it all. Far out. Soooo ... Gatsby tells Daisy she doesn’t love her husband but her husband tells her he loves her and she says she loves him and Gatsby gets mad and drives a bright yellow car really fast through the dirty part of town with the spooky eyes and glasses and a woman runs in front of his car and he runs her down although I don’t think he meant to. So the woman’s husband comes over and shoots him and he falls in the swimming pool. End of story! I don’t have any idea what happened to the crazy guy. Hose me, Agnes! This all happened in 1922 — in one year! Did people really live that way then? It must have been exhausting! I’d think they would have developed glandular disorders. Things have sure changed a lot since then. For example, there’s no longer any law that requires you to take off your shirt when you play a saxophone.

“Lovesick ghost caught on film.” “Boss made me stand beside him while he urinated.” “Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth through the years”

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Show Me De Roads “Show me the money” wuz a phrase from a very popular movie a few years ago. In it, a pro athlete wuz tryin’ to get his agent to get him az much money az possible from de team he wuz playin’ for. Such iz de case in our area now, wit’ de state an’ feds promisin’ to trow money at us ‘cause we got all dem big gaz industries comin’ to our area. Well, we better enjoy dem handouts, an’ we better start seein’ some progress toward infrastructure improvements ‘cause dat flow uf money ain’t gonna las’ forever. Jus’ de udder mornin’, I took Highway 90 east from Sulphur. It wuz packed wit’ folks headin’ to work at de plants. At de stoplight whare de Chateau Charles usta be, dar wuz a backup az folks wuz turnin’ left onto PPG Drive to go to work at Axiall an’ PPG. An’ eastbound folks wuz waitin’ to head toward Conoco an Sasol. Meantime traffic wuz shootin’ off uf I-10 an’ Pete Manena road to get to dem same plants. Now, imagine what it will be like when de Sasol construction starts, an’ later when de plant iz in operation. Don’t you tink it would make sense to widen roads in de areas jus’ mentioned an’ to look at buildin’ new roads to help traffic flow in dat area? Now de gubment folks are gonna tell you day iz workin’ on it. Dat may be, but az taxpayers we want mo dan lip service. We want DOTD an’ de Police Jury to show us what’s happenin’ to our money.

Heated Debate At School Boad Meetin’ At a recent Calcasieu Parish School Boad meetin’, de issue uf givin’ a 10-year sales tax exemption to AAR came up. Dis is de same deal Aeroframe had. Now, de discussion about dis lasted for mo dan an’ hour, wit’ some boad members sayin’ de boad wuzn’t in a position to grant tax abatements since de boad wuz in a deficit. But de Chennault boys had dar numbers in order and pointed out dat dat money would be spent on gear an’ trainin to generate jobs dat would mo dan offset de 600 grand a year de boad would have to give up. When all wuz sed and done, de boad voted 9-4 to grant de exemption to AAR. Now it seems only fair dat AAR be granted de same break de previous company had — especially since dis company is much bigger an’ can get planes from trewout de U.S. to work on. It may have been a tough decision for de school boad, but it wuz de right one.

White All Over Calcasieu Parish Louisiana state Superintendent uf Education John White haz been spendin’ a lot uf time in Calcasieu Parish. He wuz at Sowela recently, talkin’ about de need to change de kind uf diplomas dat are given to high school grads. Now we have discussed dis before, but for review, basically, now we have three kinds uf diplomas given out to students at spring graduation. One iz de college prep diploma, which 77 percent uf de grads get. Meanwhile, 12 percent get de basic diploma, which doesn’t get dem into TOPS, an de career diploma goes to 1 percent. Now, White wants to do away wit’ dis complex system, an’ have only one diploma. He sez dis will encourage kids to learn skills at schools like Sowela — skills dat will prepare dem for good-payin’ jobs. We agree wit dat. Az we have sed, before diz “trade school” concept wuz started by longtime Lafayette political figure Louis Michot many years ago. But it’s jus’ now getting’ de enrollment an’ fundin’ needed. It’s gettin’ de enrollment ‘cause college costs have skyrocketed. De fundin’ iz comin’ ‘cause de state Dept. uf Education an’ Legislature iz finally realizing dat 77 percent can’t possibly make it trew 4 years uf college. A feller who wuz in de know at McNeese pointed out to me one time dat dars never a parkin’ problem in de spring semester. Dat’s because dem what enrolled in

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de fall have flunked out. One might say dat’s a formula for failure. Hopefully, White’s plans will change dat. White also recently appeared to praise de early childhood education in our parish as one of the top systems in de state. Way to go, gang.

Numbers, Numbers And Mo Numbers A suit has been filed in federal court regardin’ voter registration uf minorities and women in our state. De NAACP an’ a voter advocacy group called Project Vote sed our state wuzn’t doing enough to register voters. But Secretary uf State Tom Schedler points out dat 84 percent uf eligible voters in our state are registered, and dat makes it kinda hard to find unregistered. He also points out dat in our parish, 98.6 percent uf black women and 89.9 percent uf white women are registered. Dat’s some impressive numbers. Nonedeless, Schedler haz to go to court an’ defend our great state in what can only be described az a frivolous law suit.

Heroin Problem Spreading You may have sawed de recent article in papers about de increase in de use uf heroin in our state. In fact, state police say dar lab haz tested nearly 300 heroin samples for 2012 compared to less dan 100 in 2011. Now folks, dis is heroin — sometin you hear about in big cities like New York an Chicago. We often talk about de spread uf drug arrests in our area for everything from meth to cocaine to marijuana. But heroin iz bigtime serious stuff, an’ law enforcement needs to do all it can now to stop it. Anudder new drug haz hit de streets. It’s called krokodil. Pictures on de internet uf users’ fingers and toes drying up an’ fallin’ off are most frightenin’.

Carter Hangs It Up District Judge Wilfred Carter announced recently dat he would step down at de end uf dis month. Now, to say he haz been controversial would be an understatement. But lawyers who go before him have nuttin’ but good tings to say about him. Day say you always got a fair shake wit’ him an dat’s all mos’ uf us want. Prior to bein’ elected to de judgeship, Carter served as a state representative and city council member. We’re shore dat sometimes pretty soon he’ll be recognized for hiz service to de area. By law, de Louisiana Supreme Court will appoint a replacement for Carter until an election can be held. Az uf now, it looks like dat election will be in de spring. Sharon Wilson, who haz run for judge before, already haz signs out. But you can bet dar will be udders jumpin’ into dat race.

McNeese … Like De Old Days If you’re like me an you haven’t been to a McNeese football game for a while, it’s time to go back. Dem uf you dat’s old enough to remember de days uf Buford Jordan, Rusty Guilbeau an’ Stephen Starring will be right at home watchin’ de 2013 edition uf de Cowboys. Speed, strength an’ smart play — you gonna love it. We say, let’s fill de stadium for de remainin’ home games. An’ let’s show our pride by wearin’ de McNeese colors every Friday. Wear your gold and blue an’ support de Cowboys.

Here Come De Judges We sawed in media reports dat de new City Court buildin’ was open an’ dat everyone haz moved into de new facility. We know Judge Hood an’ Judge Quirk, along wit’ Ward 3 Marshal Joey Alcede, have been workin’ on dis for a long time. An’ for dems what got bidness to conduct, tings will be a lot mo convenient. De judges helt court on Friday a few weeks ago, an’ wuz open for court on de following Monday. Now, Judges Hood and Quirk may have had sore backs at dem Monday hearins but day wuz dar takin’ care uf bidness. Lake Charles and Southwest Louisiana should be proud uf dis new facility.

Deep Taughts While Watchin’ De Outdoor Channel 10) Will de Texans end up bein’ az bad az de Astros? 9) Who else will jump in dat race for judge to replace Carter? 8) Why do Max an’ Slim argue so much when we go to lunch? 7) Everybody’s deer huntin’ in North Louisiana. Where’s my backstrap? 6) Can anybody stop Johnny Football? 5) How can Bubba say dat a three cheeseburger lunch is heart healthy? 4) Iz de U.S. really broke? 3) Why does my neighbor have to cut hiz grass at 6 in de mornin’? 2) Why iz it when I go somewhere in my truck, folks always point at my tires? 1) Wuz de Saints-New England game a preview uf de Super Bowl?

Final Shot My fran Lefty went to de gran openin’ uf dat new Dick’s Sportin’ Goods store in de Mall. An’ boy, did he go crazy. He baught golf clubs, fishin’ stuff, runnin’ shoes, walkin’ shoes, shirts, pants, exercise equipment an’ a whole bunch mo. In fact, he filled up his travel trailer wit’ stuff. I axed him how much he spent, an’ he said American Express had called him an’ told him he could leave home without it. ‘Til next time, lache pas la patate.

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COUSHATTA HOLDS VET FUNDRAISER Coushatta Casino Resort in Kinder recently held a poker charity event to benefit Vietnam Vets for Foster Kids. Pictured from left are: Randall Litterall, poker room manager; Tom Helo, poker tournament manager; Terry Courville, Louisiana State vice president of the Vietnam Veterans of America and Local Chapter 215; Lester Guidry, Local Chapter 215 president; Charles Fontenot, Local Chapter 215 treasurer; and Bryan Williams, director of public relations, Coushatta Casino Resort.

ACTT RECOGNIZED Advanced Corrosion Technologies & Training was recently recognized by the Louisiana Workers’ Compensation Corporation with the LWCC Safest 70 Award. This award is presented to the top 70 corporations which have shown exemplary dedication and commitment to safety in the workplace. Advanced Corrosion was selected for this award based on the effectiveness of their safety efforts in preventing injuries and controlling costs.

FNB DERIDDER EARNS 5-STAR RATING First National Bank DeRidder has been named as a 5-Star Superior Bank by BauerFinancial, the nation’s leading independent bank rating and research firm. A five-star rating indicates a strong capital foundation with active loans and a low delinquency rate among other benchmarks. This is the ninety-ninth consecutive quarter for First National Bank DeRidder to earn the five-star rating, putting it in the category of Sustained Superiority Banks.

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WCCH OFFERS DIGITAL MAMMOGRAMS

LCMH FOR WOMEN RECEIVES HONOR

West Calcasieu Cameron Hospital is offering a 20-percent discount off digital screening mammograms during October, which is nationally recognized as Breast Cancer Awareness Month. The discount is applied to hospital charges, and does not include radiologists’ fees, which are billed separately. Appointments are required, and can be made by calling 337-527-4256. Appointments are available MondayFriday, 8 am-5 pm, and Thursdays, 8 am-7 pm.

Lake Charles Memorial Hospital for Women has been designated a Center of Excellence for minimally invasive surgeries by the American Institute of Minimally Invasive Surgery. The hospital is one of only 41 hospitals nationwide, and the only hospital in Louisiana, to receive the designation. A hospital or surgical center can be recognized as a Center of Excellence once it has combined efforts with an accredited AIMIS surgeon and meets AIMIS standards. Memorial for Women exceeds the national average for open versus minimally invasive hysterectomies. More than 80 percent of hysterectomies performed at the hospital in the past two years were minimally invasive. The national average is around 20 percent. In addition, three Memorial for Women doctors have received personal accreditation from AIMIS. These include board certified obstetrician/gynecologists Dr. William Groves, Dr. David Darbonne and Dr. Matthew Scroggs. Pictured left to right: Dr. Matthew Scroggs, Dr. William Groves, Dr. David Darbonne, Dr. Steven McCarus, CEO of AIMIS; Larry Graham, CEO of LCMH; Dr. Gisele McKinney and Dr. Joseph Semien.

HEALTH EDUCATION CENTERS RECEIVE FUNDS Louisiana Area Health Education Centers were recently awarded $1.1 million by the U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services to serve as an in-person resource for Louisianans who want additional assistance in shopping for and enrolling in plans in the Health Insurance Marketplace. Consumers in Louisiana are now able to choose new affordable health insurance options through a new Health Insurance Marketplace. Navigators will play a vital role in helping consumers prepare electronic and paper applications to establish eligibility and enroll in coverage through the Marketplace and potentially qualify for an insurance affordability program. Navigators will also provide outreach and education to raise awareness about the Marketplace and refer consumers to other enrollment options as well as health insurance ombudsman and consumer assistance programs when necessary. Outreach programs and presentations are planned in Shreveport, Monroe, Lake Charles, Lafayette, New Orleans, Thibodeaux and Hammond.

LOEHN JOINS IMPERIAL HEALTH Bridget Loehn, M.D., ENT specialist, has joined the Imperial Health physician team. Originally from Metairie, La., Loehn received a bachelor’s from Louisiana State University in Baton Rouge, and earned a medical degree from Louisiana State University School of Medicine in New Orleans. She completed a residency in the Department of Otolaryngology at Louisiana State University Health Science Center, also in New Orleans.

FONTENOT JOINS SPRINGER MEDICAL Bobby Fontenot, MSN, APRN, FNP-C, has joined the clinical staff at Springer Family Medical Clinic, an affiliate of Imperial Health. Fontenot, a certified Family Nurse Practitioner and Lake Charles native, earned a bachelor’s and a master’s in nursing from McNeese State University. He has over 12 years of nursing experience in the areas of critical care, emergency medicine, family medicine and women’s health. He is board certified by the American Academy of Nurse Practitioners, and is a member of the Louisiana Association of Nurse Practitioners. www.BestOfSWLA.com

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LA POLITICS

john maginnis

Shutdown Couldn’t Happen Here It could not happen here, this government shutdown thing. Under similar circumstances in the Louisiana House of Representatives, regardless of how members voted, they would at least vote. The impasse over the budget resolution and GOP attempts to defund the Affordable Care Act soon will be followed by another face-off over raising the debt ceiling. Assuming, hoping, that both matters are resolved sometime before Halloween, a deeper problem will remain. Despite the widespread frustration of the people, the current gridlock is not the fault of tea party Republicans, or the president and the Democrats, or of everyone failing to get along. Rather, the responsibility for this irresponsibility gets down to Speaker John Boehner, both as a person and an institution. Boehner has prevented the House from voting and letting the will of the majority prevail. If the partisan roles were reversed, the Democrat who would be speaker would be as much at fault. The U.S. Constitution barely mentions the office, other than to say the House may choose a speaker, but over the years, the speaker of the House has gained the power to decide which legislation gets voted on. But such discretion, mainly for the sake of managing the House agenda, was not intended to block

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crucial budget votes on keeping the government operating. Compounding that assumed power, this speaker has chosen to invoke the “Hastert Rule,” named for former Speaker Dennis Hastert, to bring up no legislation that is not supported by a “majority of the majority,” even if the instrument is supported by a bipartisan majority, as is the continuing budget resolution. Hastert, currently a lobbyist and diving to get out of the line of fire, denies ever making such a rule. He said his “preference,” in order to maintain Republican policy, was to try not to use the votes of Democrats to pass legislation that only a minority of Republicans supported. Rule or not, Boehner’s stance is rooted in large part in self-preservation, for he figures he won’t be speaker for long if he lets a bipartisan majority overcome a majority of his Republican colleagues, who are demanding that Democrats negotiate concessions on Obamacare. That consideration may loom large for Boehner, but why is it our problem? It demeans the institution for its leader to operate like a party hack, just as former Democratic speakers have when it was their turn. This is the people’s House, not

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some party’s. A government shutdown, irresponsible as it is, at least would be constitutionally legitimate in the case of a majority of the House voting the opposite of a majority in the Senate. The constitution offers no solution to that standoff. But for a leader of one house to stop that body from voting, because most of his or her party won’t like the outcome, enshrines partisanship and violates the spirit of our democratic republic. For suppressing the will of the elected majority, the Hastert “don’t call it a rule” Rule is matched only by the Senate’s filibuster rule. The constitution already grants leavening powers to the upper chamber, where Wyoming carries the same weight as New York. Why does it also need a 60-vote bar before a vote is called on a controversial measure? The rationale for the rule, which only evolved recently, is to avoid the whipsaw effect of massive and opposite legislation being passed whenever a new party takes power. Both the majority-of-the-majority rule in the House and super-majority rule in the Senate seem meant to protect party power, but they also wildly overstate the importance of both bodies within the three branches of government. Whatever legislation the Congress passes, the pres-

ident can veto and the courts can strike down if it goes too far, not to mention that the voters can pass judgment and settle scores every two years. Members of both parties, not just the leaders, should come together to get rid of this partisan misrule. As a simple “outside the Beltway” view, that’s not likely to happen, just as Capitol Hill’s current crisis of the absurd is bound to happen again. But at least it’s not going to happen here, where one can take comfort that in the Louisiana Legislature, the majority still has a say, even if the governor rules.

Political Sideshow Next month, a federal judge will decide whether the historic, mammoth lawsuit against 97 oil companies for damage to coastal marshes will proceed in state court or be moved to U.S. District Court, as sought by one of the defendants, Chevron. Big corporations tend to think they will fare better in a federal system of appointed judges than before an elected state judiciary. Federal court can be no picnic, though, which BP is learning in its Gulf oil spill trial, now in the penalty phase, before U.S. District Judge Carl Barbier. To whichever courthouse the case


goes, before the first arguments are heard, a political sideshow is playing out in the court of public opinion. The foremost champion of the suit, author John Barry, soon will not be vice chairman of the Southeast Louisiana Flood Protection Authority-East, once Gov. Bobby Jindal appoints a replacement from two names a nominating committee submitted, neither of them Barry’s. Though he can still speak out as a private citizen, his departure leaves a void among public officials willing to take on Big Oil. Into the breach stepped Public Service Commissioner Foster Campbell, who called out the state Democratic Party to support the legal action. The early response of elected Democrats, however, has been muted, with none yet taking his cue. Their reluctance to get involved doesn’t surprise Campbell.

2015, recently unleashed an op-ed tirade against what he labeled the “Buddy System,” which he described with the terms “extortion,” “racketeering” and “ambulance-chasing free for all.” Caldwell shot back against “the lies of my detractors,” stating that he doesn’t know the board’s lawyers, has never received a political contribution from them, and didn’t authorize the contract, but only the board’s power to sign it. We likely will be hearing more from these two. Before then, politically, Caldwell finds himself on the spot. If he reverses his authorization, he angers the many in the public who want the suit to get a fair hearing, and he opens himself to being called a flip-flopper. If he stands

by his initial decision, he exposes himself to the wrath of the oil companies and the many thousands of voters who draw their livelihoods, directly or indirectly, from the oil patch. The flood protection board, as its supporters point out, was established by the Legislature to be insulated from politics. Nice try.

Governor Struggles Over Common Core This ruckus over Common Core, silly and sad as it's been, has still served the public good in a couple of ways. It has given me and my journalistic colleagues something to write about on a slow week. And it has caused more peo-

ple to know and discuss the most important thing going on in classrooms today, far more so than vouchers. Up until last week, about the only ones who knew about Common Core were educators, involved parents and, of course, the kids, who now are being taught and tested in new ways, in order to meet standards shared by the rest of their generation, across the land. While there are parents and teachers legitimately concerned with the new demands, the greater controversy stirred over it nationally has come from elements of the tea party and the Republican right wing. To hear some theories, this is all a plot hatched in the continued

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The strategy of the oil companies is, to paraphrase Shakespeare’s Dick the butcher, “The first thing we do, let’s kill all their lawyers.”

“Some top Democrats have been tap dancing,” he said on the Jim Engster Show. “They’re in the pockets of the powerful instead of the people.” Therefore, Campbell may have to go over the politicians’ heads to rally public support to at least dissuade lawmakers from passing sure-to-be-filed legislation next Spring to curb the autonomy of the flood control authority. The oil companies hope it doesn’t have to come to that, but, rather, that the lawsuit will be disposed of short of court or the Capitol. Their current aim targets not the lawsuit itself but the levee board’s contingency contract with its lead law firm. If the defendants can nullify the pact with the plaintiff’s lawyers, who would collect 22.5 percent of the first $300 million awarded and 32.5 percent after that, the levee board wouldn’t be able to afford the millions in research and legal fees it would take to press its case. The strategy of the oil companies is, to paraphrase Shakespeare’s Dick the butcher, “The first thing we do, let’s kill all their lawyers.” And so they have handed the knife to the one they deem responsible for letting this genie out of the bottle, Attorney General Buddy Caldwell. The Louisiana Oil and Gas Association is demanding that the attorney general rescind his approval of the levee board’s resolution approving the contract with its attorneys. The petition contends that state law requires that the attorney general’s office represent political subdivisions of the state or retain counsel for them. Caldwell’s office hasn’t commented on the petition, but it has previously claimed that his oversight of the board’s action was very limited and that he did as the law prescribed. To add some theatrics to the sideshow, enter Jeff Landry, stage right. The former congressman, who seems interested in running against Caldwell in www.BestOfSWLA.com

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Henry plans to introduce legislation next year to withdraw the state from Common Core, though, so far, GOP colleagues have not exactly rallied to his side. His own senator, Conrad Appel, R-Metairie, chairman of the Senate Education Committee, restated his strong support for the program, as did his House counterpart, Rep. Steve Carter, R-Baton Rouge. Board of Elementary and Secondary Education President Chas Roemer, a Baton Rouge Republican, has not wavered, either.

JOHN MAGINNIS continued Obama White House to, one can only guess, brainwash naive youth into becoming community organizers and climate-change believers. In truth, the more intensive teaching methods and rigorous tests were developed through the National Governors Association and the national council of state school superintendents to better enable American students to not only compete with each other but also with those in the rest of the world, lest ours fall further behind. Forty-five states have adopted Common Core. In Louisiana, local school districts work within a broad outline to tailor instruction to their classrooms. The only federal involvement is to offer financial incentives to participate. Yet wild-eyed conspiracy theories will always find its takers, especially in quarters most hostile to the Democratic president. What brought it home to Louisiana was a group of parents in Jefferson Parish who incited Rep. Cameron Henry, RMetairie, to take up their cause. Henry, seen to have statewide ambitions, has been an outspoken critic of Gov. Bobby Jindal on a variety of conservative issues. Surely he noted how uncomfortably wishy-washy the governor was in responding to tea party opponents of Common Core at the recent RedState conference in New Orleans. The lawmaker brought that pressure back to bear with a public letter, figuratively nailed to the door of the Governor's Mansion, that urged Jindal to withdraw the state from Common Core, calling it a "a tool of federal coercion." Jindal has never embraced the tea party, but he has not messed with it, either. So, as much as he disdains Henry, he meekly responded, "We share those concerns," adding that while he supports rigor and high standards, he opposes "a national or federalized curriculum," which he well knows Common Core is not. "We need Louisiana standards, not Washington, D.C., standards," wrote the governor of the state with some of the lowest-performing schools in the nation.

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Gov. Jindal badly needs a face-saving way to extract himself from this crack he has stumbled into. Coming close to agreeing with Jindal and Henry is some pretty dangerous company — not the tea party, but the state Democratic Party, which has called the rollout of Common Core a "train wreck." Also sharing concerns and calling for a one-year delay in the program's testing regimen is the Louisiana Federation of Teachers, whom the governor has labeled an "agent of the status quo." Jindal badly needs a face-saving way to extract himself from this crack he has stumbled into. The state's chief architect of Common Core, state Superintendent John White, threw him a possible life line last week when he said, "We are willing to discuss concerns, whether it is with legislators or others, but we must maintain the work that so many of our teachers have spent countless hours working toward." White and BESE can come up with a few tweaks; Jindal can declare his concerns addressed, and, he hopes, move on. With many more watching now than when this tempest started, the governor needs to act, not just for his own politics, but for the thousands of teachers who have been striving to do Team Jindal's bidding and to make Common Core deliver on its promise. Some leadership would be helpful, but one hates to set standards too high.


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ECONOMICS, ETC.

michael m. kurth, Ph.D.

Debt: Going Through The Roof By the time you read this, Congress will likely have worked out a last minute compromise to raise the ceiling on the national debt. We’ve been down this road before; the debt ceiling has been raised 74 times since 1962. The most recent increase was in 2011, when an impasse between Republicans and Democrats rattled financial markets (the

Dow Jones Industrial Average fell 2,000 points) and led to the first-ever downgrade in the federal government’s credit rating. But don’t confuse the debt ceiling with the partial shutdown of the federal government that is now in its 11th day. The shutdown is largely a joke. State and local governments provide most of the

services that impact our daily lives, such as police and fire protection, schools and sanitation. If they were to shut down, we would feel the effects immediately. The work of the federal bureaucracy, however, largely involves pushing paper and processing applications. Although the Obama administration has gone to absurd lengths to make us aware

of the shutdown, like closing access to national monuments and turning off the panda cam at the national zoo, few people other than federal employees can say their lives have been affected in any meaningful way by the absence of federal services. In terms of crises, the debt ceiling is the real deal. If Congress fails to raise the ceiling before Oct. 17, the federal government will be unable to borrow more money and will quickly run out of cash. This means it will be forced to delay making interest payments on the $17 trillion of outstanding bonds.

Nobody knows when, but eventually we will run out of people willing to loan money to a nation with crumbling infrastructure, a ballooning bureaucracy, and anemic economic growth. At a minimum, this will shake global confidence in the U.S. dollar and drive up bond rates, increasing the future cost of borrowing for the government. In a worst-case scenario, it will collapse the global monetary system that is built on debt and plunge us into a worldwide depression. Why not simply raise the debt ceiling one more time? The dilemma is that going deeper and deeper into debt to finance federal spending isn’t sustainable in the long run. How long is the long run? Nobody knows when, but eventually we will run out of people willing to loan money to a nation with crumbling infrastructure, a ballooning bureaucracy, and anemic economic growth. So by raising the debt ceiling each time we bump up against it, we avoid an immediate crisis, but we create an even bigger crisis down the road. It’s been proposed that we temporarily raise the debt ceiling to give Congress time to work out a long-term, bi-partisan plan to balance the budget. The problem is we’ve done that before and it didn’t work. After raising the debt ceiling in 2010, the bi-partisan National Commission on Fiscal Responsibility and Reform was created to identify spending cuts and revenue enhancements (that is, more taxes) sufficient to achieve fiscal sustainability. The commission produced a report, but nothing came of it because Democrats opposed the spend20

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ing cuts while Republicans opposed the tax increases. My solution would be to impose a ceiling on foreign borrowing by the federal government, while allowing it to borrow domestically to meet its obligations. Six of the seventeen trillion dollars of federal debt is owed to foreign entities — about half of it to Japan and China (see the graph). One reason this situation is dangerous is that it places our economic health in the hands of countries that may not have our best interest at heart. Another reason is that it enables the unnecessary and unproductive expansion of federal programs by eliminating the political cost of government spending. Forcing the federal government to borrow domestically would constrain the growth of the federal government,

because additional spending would require either raising of taxes or borrowing in domestic markets. This would drive up interest rates or, if the Federal Reserve bought the bonds, lead to money creation and inflation. Any of these options would meet with voter resistance. This is what happened during the “stagflation” (slow growth and rising prices) of the 1970s when angry voters elected Ronald Reagan in 1980. As long as the federal government can finance its operations by selling bonds to buyers overseas, such as the Chinese, politicians perceive no cost to expanding government. But what happens when the Chinese decide to cash in their U.S. bonds? That’s the real ticking time bomb.

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WEIRD NEWS

chuck shepherd

Lame Fashion Among the ensembles witnessed by a New York Times critic at the Paris Fashion Week this year were a hat with objects resembling steroid-enhanced stalks of peas; a shoe that appeared to sprout “twig-studs”; “a flexible cage covered in doughnuts of black satin”; and a pillow clutch with its own porthole.

Recurring Themes — News of the Weird first reported successful “stool implants” among family members in 2007. They were intended to cure infections such as C. difficile by introducing the donor’s “good” microbes to overcome an imbalance of “bad” bacteria in a relative’s intestines. In 2012, two University of California, Davis, neurosurgeons extended the cutting-edge treatment for three patients with a highly malignant brain tumor unresponsive to treatment. The doctors tried infusing bowel bacteria directly into the tumor. The patients died, nonetheless. Although the patients had given informed consent, the school pressured Drs. J. Paul Muizelaar and Rudolph Schrot to resign for having violated internal and FDA procedures. — It’s well known that hospitals charge for medical supplies far in excess

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of what the products would cost at drugstores. An August New York Times investigation of “saline drips” vividly demonstrated the disconnect. While Medicare reimburses $1.07 for a 1-liter plastic bag of saltwater, White Plains (N.Y.) Hospital charged patients’ insurance companies $91 per bag. Other hospitals decline to charge per-bag, listing only “IV therapy” of, for example, $787. — The world’s cosmetic-surgery capital is South Korea, where one woman in five has had at least one procedure. The “Smile Lipt,” offered by Aone Plastic Surgery in the city of Yongin, is designed to produce a permanent smile, which is associated with success in South Korea. The Smile Lipt turns downward-drooping lip corners upward to create a persistent smile that resembles that of Batman’s nemesis the Joker. — The Dayton Daily News reported in September that an audit of Dayton lawyer Ben Swift (the highest-paid court-appointed public defender in Ohio, at $142,900 in a recent year) revealed several invoices demanding government payment for work days of more than 20 hours — in one case, 29 hours. Swift’s attorney said his client was guilty of nothing but bad record-keeping.


— In some cases, a tumor is heavier than the patient it’s removed from. A 63year-old man in Bakersfield, Calif., had surgery after his set of tumors grew to 200 pounds. Bakersfield surgeon Vip Dev noted that the tumors dragged on the floor when the man walked. The surgery was complicated by the patient’s shape, which couldn’t be accommodated by the hospital’s MRI and CT scan machines. — In 2010, Chinese agencies stepped up “birth tourism” packages for rich pregnant women who wanted to book vacations in America that were timed to their due dates to exploit the U.S. Constitution’s guarantee of citizenship to anyone born here. A September USA Today report indicated that Chinese mothers now prefer to land in the U.S. territory of Northern Mariana Islands (where birth also bestows citizenship). Islands officials would prefer traditional Chinese tourists instead of the “birthers.” Historians agree that the 14th Amendment birth right was aimed at assuring citizenship for freed slaves.

ning to charge $200,000 to make identical twins. Raelians’ core belief is that humanity descended from extraterrestrials who explained to Raelian founder Claude Vorilhon that life’s purpose is to experience sexual pleasure. Recently, a Raelian “priestess,” Nadine Gary, has turned the sect’s attention to counseling victims of the genital mutilation, which remains traditional among some African societies. She has enlisted a prominent U.S. surgeon to undo the procedure pro bono. Wrote London’s The Guardian, in an August dispatch from the surgeon’s San Francisco clinic, “Just 12 minutes of delicate scalpel work removes a lifetime of discomfort.” — The story of Kopi Luwak coffee

is by now a News of the Weird staple. It began in 1993 with the first reports that there was a market for coffee beans digested by Asian civet cats, then washed and brewed. In June, news broke that civets were being mistreated — captured from the wild and caged solely for their bean-adulterating usefulness. In August, the American Chemical Society reported that a “gas chromatography and mass spectrometry” test had finally been developed to assure buyers that their $227-a-pound Kopi Luwak beans had, indeed, been excreted by genuine Asian civets. Thus, Kopi Luwak drinkers, who pay up to $80 a cup in California, can sip their brews without fear of being ripped off.

1930 ETHEL 433-5882

Updates — At Hong Kong’s traditional hungry ghost festival in August, people burned fake money on top of ancestors’ graves. A weak economy and inflation seem to have upped the ante for the gifts that are bestowed on the dead. An August Wall Street Journal dispatch noted that the denominations of burnable “currency” sold in stores have appreciated, including one that is given a value of one trillion Hong Kong dollars. Some festival-goers ask how the ancestor could expect change from such a bill if he needed to make a small afterlife purchase. — The family of the great Native American Olympic athlete and Oklahoma native Jim Thorpe (18881953) was so disappointed that the governor of Oklahoma wouldn’t properly honor Thorpe on his death that one faction of Thorpe’s family moved the body to Pennsylvania, where municipal officials eagerly offered to name a town after him. Since then, Jim Thorpe, Pa. (current population, 4,800), has withstood legal challenges by those who seek to return the body to Oklahoma. A recent federal court decision holds that the Pennsylvania town is a Native American “museum.” A grandson said Thorpe spoke to him at a sweat lodge in Texas in 2010, telling him to leave the body in Jim Thorpe, with “no more pain created in my name.” — Anthony Alleyne appeared in News of the Weird in 2003 for turning his Hinckley, England, home into a replica of the command center of Star Trek’s starship Enterprise. The center included a “transporter control,” “warp core drive,” “infinity mirror,” etc. When he later tried to sell the home, he learned that potential buyers didn’t value the house as much as he thought they would. In September 2013, Alleyne was back in the news as Leicester Crown Court sentenced him to 34 months in prison for viewing child pornography. He blamed that habit on years of depression caused by his marital difficulties and the real estate market. — The Raelian sect initially made News of the Weird in 1998 when “Bishop” Brigitte Boisselier ran a human-cloning start-up operation, planwww.BestOfSWLA.com

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john maginnis Governor Needs New Member On BESE The new president of the Louisiana Association of Business and Industry, Stephen Waguespack, officially stepped down from the Board of Elementary and Secondary Education before assuming his new role. He was an at-large member appointed by Gov. Bobby Jindal. “I really enjoyed it, and thought it was a very rewarding experience,” Waguespack said. Waguespack took over LABI in Sept. He is currently touring parts of the state in an effort to meet with the organization’s members, and will be making a local stop in the coming weeks. In the meantime, Jindal is working to fill the spot on the education board. The governor’s press office released a prepared statement saying, “We’ll be looking for a replacement to fill Stephen’s seat in short order.”

Borderline Bribe Precedes Loss Of License In making his transition from puncher

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to promoter, James Johnson of Shreveport thought it might help his situation to offer the Louisiana Boxing and Wrestling Commission a “large donation” to help move the licensing process along — and he did so in writing. Based on records obtained by LaPolitics, the borderline bribe was made known to the commission at its April meeting, with Johnson, a former boxer, qualifying that it wasn’t really a bribe. In response, several members weighed in on the inappropriate nature of the whole thing. According to the minutes of the meeting, commission member Dr. Thomas Ferguson, of Houma, said the incident “disturbed” him, which was verified by some of the board’s leadership in followup interviews. “We had to jump on (Johnson) pretty good about that,” said Alvin J. Topham of Lake Charles, the current chairman. “You don’t bribe us to do anything.” The commission, appointed entirely by the governor, did end up granting Johnson a promoter’s license, the same license he actually forfeited last month fol-

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jeremy alford

lowing talks with the commission’s attorney. Despite the urging of commission members in April to “start off small,” Johnson organized a show in North Louisiana that appears to have fallen apart on the business side. “We learned there were some money issues that were not taken care of, and there will probably be lawsuits by these people who say he owes them money,” said Topham. “There were also some issues with the venue not being happy with how Johnson handled the ticket sales.” While Johnson’s offer of a “large donation” didn’t stop the commission from approving his promoter’s license, the handling of his first event did prompt them to question whether he should maintain it in the future, thus his voluntary action. The commission, though, may not have heard the last of Johnson, who sources say is now considering applying for a matchmaker’s license.

On The Rail Again The Louisiana Intrastate Rail Compact was approved by the Legislature

more than three years ago, during which time there’s been very little movement on the side of government, due largely to Baton Rouge Mayor Kip Holden taking his time to appoint members. The New Orleans City Council, for its part, immediately signed on and appointed members to the group that has been charged with exploring passenger rail service between Red Stick and the Crescent City. The good news is that everyone’s finally onboard, including Ascension and Jefferson parishes. The first meeting of the compact was scheduled to take place this week in Gonzales, and is expected to produce a strategic plan for moving forward. “There’s a renewed sense of energy on this project, and a plan is going to start coming together on how to best approach a passenger rail by taking incremental steps,” said Rep. Walt Leger, D-New Orleans. Sources say St. John the Baptist Parish could be the next to sign the compact and appoint members, although other locales between Baton Rouge and New Orleans are interested, as well. Indeed, one of the challenges of the past three years


has been the parishes in the middle. Informally, there have been requests for multiple stops, which in turn could lessen the effectiveness of the proposed rail system. Nonprofits in the two larger cities have kept the project alive and moving, and have underwritten an ongoing study that will not only review possible stops, but also reveal the feasibility of adding service for the Louis Armstrong New Orleans International Airport. It’s completely possible that the project would have been further along if Gov. Bobby Jindal hadn’t, four years ago this fall, rejected money from President Barack Obama’s administration to build a high-speed rail system between New Orleans and Baton Rouge. At the time, Jindal told Obama’s administration that Louisiana didn’t need the transportation funding because upkeep of the rail would eventually cost the state $18 million annually. But it was from the high-speed rail talk that the current passenger rail project was born.

Regional Disparities Mark Lottery’s Success While the Louisiana Lottery Corporation is transferring a record amount of money to the state, its retail and sales growth in north Louisiana might appear sluggish when compared to its booming popularity in the southern part of the state. In the Shreveport region, sales have dropped by $6 million over the past four years, and 21 retail locations have been lost since 2010. Additionally, eight retail locations have been shuttered in the Alexandria region since 2011, and sales were down by $387,000 during the fiscal year that ended June 30. But those figures can fluctuate greatly from one year to the next, and are certainly tempered by the growth rates experienced in south Louisiana, Lottery officials say. “That’s where most of the state’s population resides,” pointed out Kim Chopin, the Lottery’s communications manager. Over the past seven years, the greater New Orleans region has added 190 retail locations and increased its sales by a staggering $92.9 million, culminating in an all-time high of $198 million last fiscal year. That was 44 percent of the Lottery’s total sales. The Baton Rouge and Lafayette regions account for roughly 16 percent each, although the latter seems to be the Lottery’s real growth market outside of the Big Easy. The Acadiana market, which includes Lake Charles, had nearly $73 million in sales and 681 retail locations last fiscal year, another regional alltime high. Also lifting up the losses in north Louisiana is the fact that the Monroe region remains a bright spot, adding 63 new locations and nearly $2 million in new sales since 2006. You won’t hear lawmakers complaining. With more than $447 million in revenue last fiscal year, the Louisiana Lottery Corporation transferred $160 million to the state treasury for K-12 public education. The annual contribution was the Lottery’s second highest ever, up more than $3 million over last year and $26 milcontinued www.BestOfSWLA.com

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lion more than what was budgeted. “We always budget low like that,” said Chopin. “We just never know what jackpots and other factors might be like.” While there were two record Powerball jackpots last fiscal year, scratchoff sales also ran $30 million higher than they did just five years ago. Under state law, 35 percent of Lottery proceeds is transferred to the state treasury and dedicated to public education. Another 50 percent is returned to players in the form of prizes, and less than 10 percent is retained by the Lottery for operating costs. While no other lottery jurisdiction in the U.S. contributes a greater percentage of revenue to its government, reports last year from The Times-Picayune and other publications found that the state Department of Education was unsure exactly how much

from that revenue stream goes to each local school district.

Common Core Controversy On BESE’s agenda The controversy over Common Core has reached the responsible party. The Board of Elementary and Secondary Education will hold hearings on the new guidelines for instruction and testing at its meetings that began Oct. 15. “It will be on the agenda, and I suspect people will show up and talk about it,” BESE president Chas Roemer told LaPolitics. Last week, about 200 parents and children demonstrated at the Department of Education building against the new teaching methods and standards that oppo-

nents, including Rep. Cameron Henry, RMetairie, have labeled as a “federalized curriculum.” He has publicly asked the governor to instruct BESE to have the state withdraw from Common Core. Roemer and Education Superintendent John White have challenged those assertions, stating that there are no federal controls and that local school districts are in charge of implementing the new teaching models over this school year and next. Gov. Bobby Jindal has said that he favors more rigor and higher standards but opposes a federalized curriculum, a statement that has left legislators and education officials uncertain of his stance. BESE adopted Common Core in 2010, joining 44 other states that have signed on to use the new system that was

developed by an arm of the National Governors Association and the national council of state superintendents. But only when its implementation started this school year have opponents raised objections at school board meetings and legislators’ town hall gatherings. Roemer thinks it is time for citizens to address BESE on the matter. “We have heard and read and seen what people are talking about,” he said. “Probably the responsible thing to do anyway is to understand and listen to what people’s concerns are.” Legislative sources say a future Joint Education Committee might address the topic as well, but nothing has been set.

Maness Looks To Maintain Fundraising Pace Another federal fundraising quarter ended last week, with observers expecting U.S. Sen. Mary Landrieu and Congressman Bill Cassidy, R-Baton Rouge, to maintain their torrid pace when their reports are filed later this month. Banking far less but still hitting his goal is the other Republican candidate, Rob Maness of Covington, who will report passing $100,000 for his cumulative total raised. That would represent about $60,000 for the past quarter, or less than Landrieu and Cassidy have collected in a good week. Yet the retired Air Force colonel, in his free media attacks on both opponents, is making an impact on the GOP right wing — the question is: How much? The end of September also was the self-imposed deadline for state Rep. Alan Seabaugh, R-Shreveport, to decide on jumping into the race. He told LaPolitics that “no decision has been made,” but one could come at the start of 2014. His name was recently included in a statewide automated telephone poll on the Senate race, along with the three declared candidates.

They Said It “Even if I was to respond, if I told you yes, I would have to resign.” — Civil District Judge Michael Bagneris on the possibility of him running for mayor of New Orleans, citing judicial election rules. “None of it is his.” — Press secretary Ryan Cross, comparing the $560,000 raised by his boss, Sen. Neil Riser, R-Columbia, in the 5th Congressional district to the $295,000 campaign loan made by opponent Rep. Jay Morris, R-Monroe. “I did implement blue jean Fridays.” — Stephen Waguespack, on one of his first decisions after taking over the presidency of the Louisiana Association of Business and Industry. “There’s no way I would criticize ‘Duck Dynasty.’ It’s one of the few programs I let my kids watch on TV. I’m proud to say those boys are from here.” — Gov. Bobby Jindal, during his opening remarks before the Louisiana Family Forum’s Legislative Awards Banquet.

Find more information about John Maginnis and Jeremy Alford at LaPolitics.com, or follow them on Twitter @LaPoliticsNow. 26

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TAKING CHARGE

dale archer, MD

Leaving? Have A Plan Sarah is a beautiful, married, 29- yearold marketing rep for a telecom company. She’s independent, strong and self-confident. Her husband owns a plumbing business and is successful, handsome and the life of the party. They seemed like the perfect couple, though Sarah seemed a bit clumsy, sometimes showing up with bruises due to a “fall” or “running into a door.” One day Sarah turned up in the ER with a broken arm, two broken ribs, a smashed face and a concussion. Her husband was an abuser, and Sarah was the target. They separated for three months before Sarah took him back, telling me, "I know he has a temper ... But, I love him!" Sarah isn’t an isolated case, and the statistics are bleak. According to the Domestic Violence Resource Center, one in four women will experience domestic violence at some point in their life. That's means more than 1 million women a year. Many are repeat victims. Even worse, domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to American women between 15 and 44. That's more than the injuries sustained from automobile accidents, rapes and muggings — combined. In total, 2 million injuries and 1,300 deaths occur annually due to domestic violence. The reasons given by abused women as to why they continue to live in fear and shame are many and varied: "It's my fault,” “I shouldn't have made him mad," “He's under pressure at work,” “He promised it will never happen again," "He apologized, and is so sorry,” “He said he’ll spend the rest of his life making it up to me” and the most common of all, “But, I love him!” Catherine is a colleague. She was happily married to a very successful and loving attorney. The day came, however, when he engaged in fraud, was convicted of a felony and was eventually disbarred. He lost the only source of income he knew. Although Catherine stood by him, as it dawned on her husband that he would never be able to practice law again, the lashing out began. It started with blaming her for everything; yelling morphed into slapping, hitting and, ultimately, threats of death. Catherine felt trapped and helpless, but finally found the strength to leave — only after her husband held a knife to her throat for hours as she begged for her life on the kitchen floor. There is no typical abuse victim. Rich or poor, weak or strong, black or white, male or female – anyone can end up as a victim. I know, I know. The majority of you are shaking your head and saying, "Why doesn't she just leave, already?" It should be that simple, but it’s not. From financial dependence, fear, shame, isolation, hope that it will eventually get better, feeling degraded, trapped or being born into abuse, the reasons are many. For some who finally try to leave, this is the time of gravest danger. More than 70 percent of domestic violence injuries or deaths occur when the victim leaves or attempts to leave. The abuser often lives by the mantra, “If I can’t have her, no one else 28

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can either.” That is why the clear-cut advice is this: If you're going to leave, have a plan in place, and don't tell anyone except one or two trusted family members or friends. Inform the local women's shelter of your plans and have a restraining order ready and waiting. Secrecy is critical. The key to getting out of an abusive relationship is to do your homework and have the groundwork in place: 1. Have a place to go: A good friend had a room ready and waiting, but only her

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brother and best friend knew about it. 2. She had slowly and discreetly removed sentimental and necessary items from the home when her husband was away and given them to her brother for safekeeping. 3. A secret text word was set up for her brother or friend to call 911 in case something happened or tempers escalated. 4. Money: Camille had taken a little money here and a little money there; she sold her wedding dress and some clothes and opened an account at a new bank. She

used her brother’s mailing address for the new bank statements. The day she left, she withdrew the maximum amount of cash from their joint account. 5. Women's shelter. She spoke with a counselor at the shelter who helped with the plan and recommended an attorney. She had an initial visit, and a restraining order was set up to be filed on the day she left. If he broke the restraining order, there would be no second chance. The police would be called and charges filed, no matter what he said or how much he begged and promised to change. This was her new life and she was going to be in control. 6. She had her cell phone number changed the day she left and the new number was unlisted. She also added 911 to her speed dial. Domestic violence can happen to anyone, anywhere and at any time. Being in tune and acknowledging an abusive relationship for what it is can often get you out in time, before you become completely enmeshed. Life should never be lived in fear, especially at the hands of someone you love and who professes to love you. You don’t want "But I loved him!" engraved on your tombstone. If you need help, call the National Domestic Violence hotline, 1-800-799SAFE (7233).

Dr. Dale Archer is a board certified psychiatrist who founded the Institute for Neuropsychiatry in Southwest Louisiana. He is a frequent guest on Fox News, CNN Headline News and other national TV programs and the author of the New York Times’ bestselling book Better than Normal. Visit him at DrDaleArcher.com.

Lessons From The Walking Dead If the world as we know it came to a sudden end, could you survive? Where would you go? How would you find water, food or shelter? How would you defend yourself? How would you handle the stress? As the media cashes in on zombies and the post-apocalyptic world, education is climbing on board, due mostly to AMC’s smash hit, The Walking Dead. The University of California, Irvine, has the answers and wants you to be prepared. They are teaming up with AMC and are offering an eight-week, free online course entitled “Society, Science, Survival: Lessons from AMC’s The Walking Dead.” Four professors in their specific disciplines — Zuzanna Bic, public health; Joanne Christopherson, social science; Michael Dennin, physics; and Sarah Eichhorn, mathematics — will be teaching the course. They will be discussing topics such as public health, survival, leadership, hierarchy of needs, social science, adapting to uncertain situations, post-disaster nutrition, the threat of infectious disease, and managing stress in a world that’s gone to hell. The Walking Dead, an Emmy Award-winning series, was the number one show on television in the 18-49 demographic last year, and the new season, which began Sunday, Oct. 13, has been highly anticipated. The course began the day after Season Four of The Walking Dead premiered, and will run parallel to the show. Lectures, discussion, homework, interviews with TWD cast members and yes, tests, are all part of the class. Theresa Beyer, vice president of promotions at AMC, said “There is clearly a growing appetite for engagement with ‘The Walking Dead,’ and we hope this online course will drive a deep, sustained connection with the show during its upcoming fourth season and offer a legitimate educational experience that can be applied even more broadly.” I’m not a fan of the show, with its cliched moral debates and unrealistic depiction of a true post-apocalyptic world, but kudos to UC, Irvine. The course doesn’t sound like a cheap marketing ploy, and it seems that it will offer a valid academic experience. This could really set a new standard by adding an educational component to some of the mindless drivel that currently populates TV. As far as “Society, Science, Survival: Lessons from AMC’s The Walking Dead,” it is expected to be one of the largest online courses ever. Students who complete the class will not receive a certificate or college credit. To sign up, go to https://www.canvas.net/courses/the-walking-dead.


Peking Garden Has Re-Opened! Thank you for your patience during our general renovations. We invite you back to enjoy our award-winning egg rolls (made from scratch), fantastic house specials, and the best Mai-tai's in town. We look forward to seeing you soon. For more information, visit us at pekinggardenonline.net or read our reviews on tripadvisor.com.

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FILE 13

brad goins

Cats Are Becoming Like Us It all started one night when our cats lay down in a semi-circle on the floor, right in front of the television. Our middle cat, Baxter, had, at times, noticed the television in the past; he’d poked at the moving things on the screen with his paw. But on the night of which I write, all three cats seemed to consciously be watching the television. That struck me as a little eerie. But it was nothing compared to what happened a few nights later, when the cats began to say the word “Sarah” every 15 minutes or so. It was news to me that cats could manage human speech. I didn’t get any less disturbed a couple of nights later when the three cats started saying “poop song” every few minutes. I suggested to my wife Nydia that we put on the episode of the Sarah Silverman Program that has “A Poop Song” in it. My instinct was right. That was what the cats wanted. Now “A Poop Song” is very funny. Cats think it’s funnier than people do. We (meaning we and the three cats) watched the episode at least 15 consecutive times. The cats were still entranced and amused. I don’t know how I could tell they were amused. But I could. When we switched from the Poop Song episode to our usual variety of

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movies and others DVDs, the cats made the next stage in their transition to humanity. They started sitting on the couch with us. And when I say they started sitting, I mean they sat up — spines vertical, arms (or legs or whatever you call them) at their sides. They did a pretty good imitation of sitting as we sit. They also started conversing with us. Their spoken English was far superior to that of the people I talk with on a daily basis. For that I was thankful. I had mixed feelings about whether I should assist the cats in their transition to humanity. I balked at their requests to teach them how to read and write. I was tired when I came home from work, I said. I needed to rest. I didn’t really feel up to teaching anyone grammar. One thing I didn’t mention was my concern that the cats might not ever be able to manage to hold writing implements. I tried to reserve judgment on that. Cats are versatile and have ingenuity. I also hesitated when it came to the cats’ requests that I help them get jobs. “Why in the world do you want to get a job?” I asked. “As it is, you can stay home all day and do whatever you want. You get free shelter; all the free food you can eat. Do you really want to give up a deal like that?” Our cat Cookie, the elder of the


bunch, looked over at me and said, “We just want to be like you. People have jobs. We want to be as much like you as possible.” These cats didn’t even have a last name yet, but they wanted to go out, get a Social Security Card and nail down a job. Cookie, a tabby who’s starting to get a little chubby, was in the habit of sitting next to me on the couch. After she sat down, she put her hand — or paw, if you prefer — in my hand. I didn’t think about it much, but it was hard to deny that Cookie and I were holding hands a lot. But why shouldn’t I hold hands with my own cat? One night, while the cats and we were watching Sunset Boulevard, I asked Cookie, “What made you cats decide to start being like people?” “Well,” said Cookie, “there was a pile of circulars from the mail on the floor. The circular on top had a photo of a man and woman holding hands. Baxter saw it. He just sat there and looked at it for a long time. Then he told me and Sister to look at it. “I guess we gazed at the photo of the man and woman holding hands for at least 10 minutes. And we just decided we had to have that. We had to have what that man and woman had.” “But what makes human affection better than cat affection?” I asked. “I know you cats feel real affection. You must feel it when you purr. And I hear you purring quite a bit.” “Yeah, but it’s not the same,” said Cookie. “The human hand-holding love has greater significance, greater substance, greater value, greater depth. It’s transcendent. It’s fulfilling — ultimately fulfilling. It’s the ultimate reality we can experience. The hand-holding love of people transcends every other kind of love in the animal kingdom — and in the plant animal too, for that matter.” I wasn’t about to take on a speech like that. I took the attitude I’d taken all along — just go along with it and see what happens. A few days later, Cookie made a surprising revelation to me. She was getting tired of living like a human being. “You used to wonder why we spent so much time outside,” she said. “Everything there is always changing. On the surface of the ground, there’s constant change in almost every square inch — lizards, insects, new plants and plant debris, old plant debris being moved around by the wind. There’s a universe of constant change in every yard. And the sounds and noises — there’s constant musical accompaniment that’s always changing. Never the same melody twice. “And you people never notice it. You never even look at the ground. I see you when you come home from work. Usually you look straight at the front door while you’re walking in. You never even notice what’s on either side of the walkway.” “It’s true,” I said. “I almost never look at the ground — even when I go walking on it.” “We miss having that experience every day,” Cookie continued. “Whenever we wanted to, we could experience constant change. It was always something different. Every day was an exciting new adventure.” “Just like it was when I was a kid,” I said.

“Is that how it was when you were a child?” asked Cookie. “Yeah,” I said. “Just like that. Then I grew up and everything changed. I hope you cats never grow up.” The next day, the cats were behaving as they’d always behaved. They used no more human words. The sounds they made were cat sounds. They never looked at the television. Once in a while, though; every couple of weeks or so; Cookie gets on the couch, sits up and holds hands with me for an evening. There’s no conversation like there used to be. But it’s still a nice experience.

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health beat { CCC OFFERS FREE HEALTHCARE The mission of providing free health care services for the low-income, working uninsured in our area has been a collaborative effort since the Calcasieu Community Clinic (CCC) opened its doors in 2001. In 1999, the Calcasieu Parish Medical Society, under the leadership of Dr. John Stubblefield and the late Dr. Eli Sorkow, worked tirelessly to adopt best practices for establishing a local free clinic. In February of 2001, their efforts paid off when the Calcasieu Community Clinic opened its doors to provide free health care for the first time. The largest contingent of physician volunteers for the clinic continues to be members of the Calcasieu Parish Medical Society. “The clinic is an example of volunteers helping people who are helping themselves,” says Stubblefield. McNeese State University’s Juliet Hardtner Hall, housing the College of Nursing and the Department of Mass Communications, has been home to the Calcasieu Community Clinic for the past 12 years.

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The Clinic is staffed by volunteer physicians, pharmacists, nurses and lay persons who provide services for patients on Thursday evenings, beginning at 4 pm. Once a patient qualifies to receive services for a medical need, they may be put on a waiting list to receive dental and vision services as well. Area hospitals, laboratories and imaging providers also

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donate their services to patients on a referral basis in their individual facilities. According to Kayla Rigney, executive director with the Calcasieu Community Clinic, “The community support of the clinic’s mission in the last 12 years has been overwhelming. The collaboration in our community has been so great that it’s impossible to mention each and every effort individually.” Since its opening, the clinic has expanded to include a pharmacy, mammogram screening, and dental and vision services on a referral basis through offsite providers and, in 2009, introduced a medically supervised weight loss program. Through these services, the clinic has been helping patients improve their overall lifestyle and health. Jan Miller, a patient of the Community Clinic, says the Community Clinic has provided all of her medical needs with compassion since 2009. “The doctors, pharmacists and nurses have been the best I could ask for. I have had x-rays, an MRI, Diabetes information, dental work, blood work and even medication.” Through their services, the clinic has helped Miller to manage her

New Products, Technologies and Information for a Healthier You arthritic condition so she is able to continue to work and support herself. “I would like to thank the staff and volunteers who have given their time and expertise to make this possible and I hope to be a volunteer myself very soon,” said Miller. Dr. Van Snider, medical director for the clinic, believes that it is the appreciation of the patients that makes helping them so easy. “We are blessed to live in a country where there are so many volunteers able and willing to help those in need.” In order to qualify for care, applicants must be uninsured, working at least 20 hours per week, with verifiable income in the form of an electronic pay stub and recent Federal Income Tax Return. Persons with a household income at 200 percent of Federal Poverty Guidelines or below ($39,060 for a family of three) qualify for all services, including prescription medication, while those with a household income falling between 201-250 percent ($48,825 for a family of three) qualify for services excluding prescription medication from the Clinic pharmacy.


For more information about the clinic, its services or application requirements, call 478-8650.

WCCH GIRLS’ CLASS Between Us Girls, an adolescent class offered by West Calcasieu Cameron Hospital, will be held Saturday, Nov. 16, 8:30-11:30 am, in the hospital’s Cafeteria Conference Room. Classes are designed for girls ages 9-11 and 12-15, and their mothers or guardians. Age-appropriate material will be presented in large and small group settings. Presentations will be made by Dr. Kelly Fuqua, family medicine physician, a registered nurse and an aesthetician. Topics will include the physical and emotional changes expected during puberty, the importance of good hygiene habits, recommended skin care, menstruation, coping with peer pressure, building healthy relationships, pregnancy and abstinence. Cost is $20. Class size is limited. For more information or to reserve a space, call 527-4361.

STRENGTH IN NUMBERS Group Fitness Offers Many Advantages If you’re having problems sticking to a fitness program, then you might want to consider finding a fitness support group. Research shows that more than half the people who begin exercising drop

their program within six months. According to Suzy Trahan, ACSM certified health fitness specialist, ACE certified personal trainer, and manager of Dynamic Dimensions fitness center of West Calcasieu Cameron Hospital, the reasons are many, but the most common — not knowing what to do, boredom, lack of time, dissatisfaction with results — can often be successfully avoided with group fitness classes. Group fitness classes have been around for decades, but have recently experienced a surge in popularity, mainly due to the added variety and results-oriented focus of the new generation of classes. “The classes we offer today incorporate a variety of training techniques and fitness components so that regardless of your fitness level, you get everything you need in one efficiently packaged workout,” says Trahan. “That’s the key benefit of group fitness: You don’t have to figure out a workout routine on your own to get in the cardio, strength and flexibility training aspects you know you need, because the class was designed to do that. And, classes like those we offer were designed and tested by the top professionals in the fitness industry to ensure that they provide a well-rounded, safe and effective workout.” Trahan says the high-energy music that provides the foundation for group fitness classes also gives a boost to one’s workout. This is supported by a multitude of studies. The bottom line is that

music increases the ability to exercise at high levels. “Combine that with the camaraderie, encouragement, motivation and instructor-provided direction of a group fitness class, and you’ve got the perfect environment for fitness success,” says Trahan. Additional benefits of group fitness include:

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High-energy music that provides the foundation for group fitness classes also gives a boost to one’s workout. This is supported by a multitude of studies.

Socializing. One of the most overlooked benefits of group fitness is the socialization factor. The connections you make in class can be just the thing you need to get you into the gym on those days when you just don’t have the motivation yourself. Working out regularly with friends you already have — or those you make in class — creates an expectation and a built-in accountability system to get you to class when you otherwise might skip a solo workout. Author and sports psychologist Dr. James Annesi’s research found that a lack of supervision while exercising leads to twice as much dropout when compared to exercising in groups. Keeping motivated. Having someone tell you to work harder and encourage you to take your fitness to the next

level will get you there faster. Studies have proven that working out with a group results in an increased calorie burn. A class can also break up your workout routine and help you move past a plateau — if you want to push yourself a little bit and improve. Saving time. With group fitness, there’s no more trying to schedule a set day or amount of time for using machines or running or lifting free weights. It’s all conveniently worked into one efficient class. There’s a set time to start and stop, and you know exactly when it is. The pace of group fitness classes and the energy level make you forget how hard you’re working. Learning something new. A good class and a great instructor will show you how to work your body and muscles properly. Trying something different challenges both your mind and body. Having cross-training options. By mixing and matching the classes that you take, you cross-train automatically. For participants who commit to a regular and varied class schedule, results will be seen quickly in cardio endurance, muscle toning, flexibility, balance and core strength. Trahan says these are just a few of the many documented benefits of group fitness. “If you’re curious, frustrated or just looking for a fitness option that fits your lifestyle, do a little research, find a group class that sounds interesting, and give it a try. I think you’ll like what you find.”

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TECH BYTES

vic wukovits

Problems With iOS7 Prefacing the release of the latest iPhones, iOS 7 is heralded as a huge leap forward for Apple’s portable device operating system. While many Apple advocates are pleased with the changes this latest update brings to iOS, there seem to be a number of initial issues that need to be resolved for many users. Rather than extol the virtues of iOS 7, which you can find in any number of other reviews, I’m going to take a look at some of the problems people have been experiencing with iOS 7 since the release. The biggest issue that’s been affecting a number of users is a problem with iMessage, the Apple alternative to text messaging. iMessage is supposed to send messages to other iOS (or OS X) devices seamlessly, allowing you to communicate with iPhones, iPads, iPods and Macs without needing a text messaging plan or phone number. iOS 7 seems to have a big problem with iMessage, in that many users can’t use it. Messages won’t go through; I’ve seen this happen first hand on my wife’s phone. While there are some potential workarounds, nothing solid has surfaced from Apple. An update to 7.0.2 didn’t remedy the issue. I hope Apple will fix this problem quickly. I circumvented the problem on

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my wife’s phone by turning off iMessage and just using text messaging. Others say that resetting the network settings works; but it doesn’t work for everyone. Of course, a reset of network settings will also cause you to lose all your saved Wi-Fi passwords, so proceed with caution. Along with almost every iOS update comes the complaint about battery performance, and iOS 7 is no different. In fact, some of the new features can create some rapid drainage, so be sure to disable functions like Background App Refresh, AirDrop, and the usual — what-

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ever you don’t want in Notification Center. The neat new parallax effect that gives iOS 7 that “3D” effect can also be disabled for additional savings. Wi-Fi and Bluetooth issues have been reported by some, with symptoms such as the functions being greyed out in Settings or being turned off and impossible to turn on permanently. For this, a reset of network settings can help. Backing up and restoring the iPhone is always a good idea too. I worked on a phone with a similar issue in that Messages wouldn’t activate; it took a backup and restore before I got

it working again. Another problem I’ve encountered is with the iTunes Store. The app was just blank and wouldn’t show any content, even after I closed the app and even rebooted the iPhone. For this issue, I had to logout of the iTunes and App Store in settings and sign in again. I’ve also heard of people complaining of horrible lag on their devices. But most of those reporting the issue are working on an iPhone 4 or iPad 2, both older iOS devices. While a future update might address some of that, any time iOS pushes an update on the public, older device owners need to be wary and upgrade at their own risk. Older devices don’t have the horsepower that can be required by the latest and greatest iOS. As with any new update, there will always be bugs to work out. What makes iOS 7 even more problematic is that downgrading to iOS 6 isn’t an option. For users with an iPhone 5, iPad Mini, or slightly older devices, iOS 7 can be a delight. Useful new features and the innovative look and feel are welcome changes, at least for me. For users with an older device, I regret to inform you that it might be time to upgrade your hardware.



Wendy Colonna, one of the best known musicians of our area and of Austin as well, just came within a hair’s breadth of giving up music altogether. She was in the midst of a long, grueling tour, and discovered, as she never had before, what a toll touring can take on the body. Colonna got a fungal lung infection that weakened her severely. Then, she says, “my immune system crashed.” Yet she continued to perform and follow the demanding schedule without a break. “I was touring heavily. I went to Europe [to perform].” The illness just got worse. Her weakened immune system left her prey to a series of infections. “It was scary as all get out … I coughed the whole show. I had to sleep sitting up.” 36

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In November, 2010, Colonna called it quits. “Because touring was my primary income,” she writes in her new book True Stories. Lyrics., “it was a scary prospect to take a break from music to heal, but after several visits to the hospital, I had no choice. I basically walked away from my career and the music because I couldn’t physically do it anymore. And I was broke.” Both the physical and mental aspects of the situation eventually brought Colonna to the point that she seriously questioned her future in music. “I wasn’t sure I wanted to stay in music,” she says. “It almost killed me.” She writes: “Perhaps the resistance, debt, struggle and more were just not adding up to a sustainable life.”


She was thinking, she says, that “I know there’s something else” — something more than the harsh demands of the big tour.

‘An Amazing Second Chance’ Colonna was at one of those crossroads where people make big, life-altering decisions. “It was a pivotal moment,” she says. “I told the universe or God or whatever, ‘You are in charge. I’m not driving anymore. I’m going to stop being willful.’”

She began to regain her health. She started seeing a nutritionist and training for a half marathon. And she experienced a flurry of new song-writing and performing opportunities. “When I surrendered, opportunities showed up. To me, it was a resurrection … I was given an amazing second chance.” During a trip to Belgium, she found herself participating in a “magical” project: a spontaneous recording made with

a new band that “happened very quickly” and came together in a highly gratifying manner. (The record, an EP titled Barefoot in Belgium, has been called a “return to a grassroots approach to making music.”) She continued to ask herself questions about just what she should be doing with music and whether those actions should differ from the ones she’d taken in the past. “What is the music doing?” she wondered. She eventually “realized music is a refuge; a place where people go for permission.”

Colonna was at one of those crossroads where people make big, life-altering decisions. “It was a pivotal moment,” she says. “I told the universe or God or whatever, ‘ You are in charge. I’m not driving anymore. I’m going to stop being willful.’”

The Phoenix And The Bee

She began to regain her health. She started seeing a nutritionist and training for a half marathon. And she experienced a flurry of new song-writing and performing opportunities. “When I surrendered, opportunities showed up. To me, it was a resurrection … I was given an amazing second chance.”

Because Colonna saw her new, thoughtful, approach to music and living as a kind of “resurrection,” it makes sense that she would say her big new CD, Nectar, is her “phoenix story, in a way.” Nectar, she says, is also about “authentic relationships, and doing it [in this case, music] for the right reason.” Such musical relationships might include those between song writers, between musicians and producers, between performers. There can even be relationships between songs and people; in True Stories. Lyrics., Colonna describes songs as “unique entities who are born of me [that] evolve as they make relationships with others.” The CD’s “collection of songs,” says Colonna, “is really human, forgiving of being human, vulnerable. [The continued

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songs are about] being OK with being human.” All of this is in sync with Colonna’s aforementioned realization that music is a place for refuge and permission. Of Nectar, she writes, “I had grieved a lot over the previous few years and realized there was strength in the vulnerability, in the scars. It was OK to be exposed.”

Colonna has said Nectar is “my dark record” … “I had a few songs waiting in the wings that were more melancholy than the upbeat stuff on Right Where I Belong and We Are One, and they needed a place.” But she adds that Nectar is also “deep and sweet.” Nectar is so multi-genre that it wouldn’t make much sense to try to pigeonhole it as

Colonna has said Nectar is “my dark record” … “I had a few songs waiting in the wings that were more melancholy than the upbeat stuff on Right Where I Belong and We Are One, and they needed a place.” But she adds that Nectar is also “deep and sweet.” Nectar is so multi-genre that it wouldn’t make much sense to try to pigeonhole it as having a particular type of sound. Nectar, she says, is “a beautiful, amazing record. It’s probably the best I’ve ever done.”

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having a particular type of sound. Colonna suggests that it could be described as “southern soul,” and more specifically, that it falls “under the big umbrella of

Americana.” By Americana, I think she means the many forms of music that have been popular in the various regions of the U.S. down through the years; in other words, “roots music” in a broader sense than the term is usually used. Nectar, she says, is “a beautiful,


amazing record. It’s probably the best I’ve ever done.” Colonna drew the prominent bee on the CD’s cover, as well as the wild flowers. These are the very flowers you can see in Louisiana right now. (The brown box around the bee and the monochromic colors of the flowers give the cover a nice collage and experimental art look.) These art works depict “what makes me what I am,” says Colonna, who has an academic background in bees.

Notes On Nectar As this record covers all the big aspects of life, it’s little surprise that it has a place for childhood. Colonna says the song “The Water’s Fine” is about innocence. And there’s something of childhood in the record’s third song, “Shelter And Be Kind,” where Colonna salutes her personal roots with the lines “I am a great-granddaughter of the Mermentau. / My granny was 3/4 French and 1/4 Choctaw.” But you can hear the melancholy side make its appearance in the song with the lyrics “Try to remember that the sun doesn’t always shine” — words that were said to Colonna by her grandmother. And there’s a bit more melancholy from Colonna’s past in this song; there are, for instance, words about the time her father, a tank driver in World War II, had his teeth kicked out by Gen. Patton. (Colonna swears the story’s true.) On a musical note, listen for the psychedelic keyboard solos in this song. They’re a treat. There’s also distinctive instrumentation in the fourth cut, “The Water’s Fine,” which features a strummed ukulele. The song sounds like a 1920s pop song. The leisurely “Dance with the Moon” also sounds like a popular tune from a decade before rock ‘n’ roll. In the background, a musical saw plays quietly; it sounds a bit like a Theremin. Lines from the song reflect Colonna’s new intention of letting things go as they go in preference of trying to impose her will: “I watch the fireflies dancing in the field behind the store. “They are not fighting, in the way I was before.” If you don’t detect the vein of melancholy in the lyrics of the songs of Nectar, you’ll hear it clearly in the sadly lyrical, off-kilter, major-and-minor-key piano solos of “When Love Comes My Way.” The melancholy is present in both music and lyric in the song “Mother Forgive Us,” a leisurely folk ballad with the lines “Oh, Mother, please forgive us when we know what we know and we still do.” When I write “melancholy,” I don’t, of course, mean that the music is funereal or anything of that sort. It’s usually quiet and lyrical, occasionally in a sort of wistful way. The CD has enough upbeat pop and folk tunes to keep the mix lively.

Colonna is having her CD release party at Luna Live Oct. 25. “I wanted to cover the home bases” first, she says. Home, for Colonna, is Lake Charles. she says, “[while I] eat and sleep and [am] walking.” As she started this project in January, she’s devoted a full nine months to it thus far. And why is she promoting it in Southwest Louisiana — even to the point that she’s having her CD release party at Luna Live (Oct. 25). “I wanted to cover the home bases” first, she says. Home, for Colonna, is Lake Charles. After this initial, regional, tour, the CD will be promoted on an extended international tour. If

you want to see where Colonna will be playing, or get a copy of Nectar, visit her site at wendycolonna.com. Colonna prefaces her book with an imperative from the great mystical poet Rumi: “Unfold your myth.” Each of us does this. Some of us work hard at it; some don’t. Colonna seems to be working pretty hard. It’ll be interesting to see what forms her myth takes in coming years.

‘Unfold Your Myth’ Nectar has quite a bit more going on than most popular music recordings. In contrast, Colonna’s future is simple. She’s promoting her new work. “All I do is promote this record …” www.BestOfSWLA.com

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THE DAY BEGAN like many this month — damp and dreary — as I made my way to the Chennault International Air Show. As this was the first air show to visit Lake Charles in 15 years, and I’d never attended one, I had no idea what to expect or how to prepare for it. Should I watch Top Gun the night before? Should I jam out to Kenny Loggins’ “Danger Zone” in the car on my way to the show?

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I was at a loss, so with my aviator sunglasses and a need for speed, I simply just entered the event grounds and took my seat among the crowd. As I mentioned, the day was dreary. The clouds that filled the sky made it feel as if it were late in the evening rather than early afternoon. There was fear that the show would be tainted by such conditions. Everyone would later appreciate the fact that we could look up to the sky and

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enjoy the show without having to stare directly into the sun. The show was tremendous. Time flew by (weak pun intended), but what took place will stick with me for a lifetime and make me a better person. Pilots are known round-the-world as the coolest people to have ever walked the Earth. Their jackets, sunglasses, volleyball talents, are well noted. All this is representative of what it means to be cool. Even the

globally renowned King of Cool, Steve McQueen, knew how to fly an airplane. With call signs like Maverick, Goose, Iceman and Viper, how could anyone not look up to pilots and admire them? They soar to heights that most mere mortals only imagine possible in another lifetime. Yet they’re only human. Right? Just like the rest of us? The performance that impressed me the most at the air show was that of one


Kevin Coleman. Coleman pilots an Extra 300 SHP, which is a high performance version of the German-designed Extra EA 300. There’s a particular maneuver that Coleman is capable of that can only be described as what it looks like when a child throws a toy airplane by its tail so that it tumbles end-over-end across the sky. The difference, of course, is that Coleman’s plane is not a toy and children are not pilots. Well, that’s the case unless the child is a young Coleman. At the age of 10 he was already learning to fly a plane, with his stunt pilot father, Wyche T. Coleman Jr., and aviation and air show legend Marion Cole as his mentors. About his past, Coleman says, “I loved to fly as a child. It’s all I’ve ever wanted to do. I remember begging my dad and Marion for rides in the Decathlon. At school, I daydreamed about flying in the big blue sky.” He’s talking about a kid being in school desperately wishing to fly along in an Aviation Decathlon with two stunt pilots.

The world only cares about what you can do, and this guy is doing something spectacular ... he can bring an airplane vertical and fly it like it’s a helicopter. What can you do? What would you like to be great at? Could you put a little time to the side to practice and hone that skill? Malcolm Gladwell’s book, Outliers: The Story of Success, points out that the key to success in any field is, to a large extent, a matter of practicing a specific task

for a total of 10,000 hours. With a grand total of only 8,760 hours in a single year, one has to prepare himself for a long and arduous process. Keep it up, and you too could be inspirational. Become the hero of your own story! Destroy the attitude that “I’m too busy to learn about the universe.” Do away with the mindset that you should never try to paint a portrait because it would be a

total waste of time. This is never true. Doing what makes you happy, even for very short periods of time, acts as a form of meditation and frees you from negativity. Who knows? Give it some time and you might become so good at something that you feel is a little … dangerous.

To learn more about Kevin Coleman visit: www.kevincolemanaerosports.com

The world only cares about what you can do, and this guy is doing something spectacular ... he can bring an airplane vertical and fly it like it’s a helicopter. What can you do? What would you like to be great at? Could you put a little time to the side to practice and hone that skill?

Kevin Coleman

On the other hand, when I was 11, I would sit around on Saturdays catching up on the newest episodes of the following show titles (which have been altered to keep myself out of any possible lawsuits) Arachnid-Man, The LetterBeforeY-Men, and Nocturnal Flying Mammal Man: The Animated Series. And guess what? I’m almost 30 and still don’t know how to fly an airplane. I’ve only traveled on commercial airliners four times, and even then, all that passed through my mind was: how flotation-worthy are these seats, really? Coleman, on the other hand, was able to fly an airplane solo before he was legally allowed to drive a car. He earned his commercial pilot’s license by the time he was 18. There isn’t something naturally within him that makes him greater than the rest of us. It was hours upon hours of constant dedication in the pursuit of something he knew he loved to do that brought him to this caliber. He had influences, sure, but even if his dad had been Brian Boitano, it wouldn’t have guaranteed that he’d grow up to be an Olympic figure skater. www.BestOfSWLA.com

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Dream Rides Collectors Talk About Their Passion For Vehicles By Karla Wall

WHAT LEADS A PERSON to spend sometimes tens of thousands of dollars for a collector vehicle, spend additional funds to create a place to store and work on said vehicle, and spend untold hours of sometimes strenuous effort to rebuild, restore and repair it? The owners of the vehicles highlighted in the pages that follow agreed to let Lagniappe in on what the attraction is.

Clyde Judice Clyde Judice, the owner of the Olds Super 88 featured in the pictorial, says he’s simply had a love of vehicles since childhood. “I’ve always loved cars,” he says. “I grew up loving cars.” He also loves working on and rebuilding vehicles. “I even built a 34-ft. motor home from scratch,” he says. “I bought a bus frame, and built a fiberglass exterior. I had it for 10 years.” He also has a lifelong love of Oldsmobiles. “My dad always had Oldsmobiles,” Judice says. “When I got married, I bought an Oldsmobile.” What got Judice into collecting, however, was a Corvette. “I bought a ‘54 Corvette in 1996,” he says. “That’s

what got me into collecting.” But Oldsmobiles remained a passion for him, and in 2000, he placed an ad in Hemmings Magazine to purchase a 1958 Olds. “The ad came out in the February issue of the magazine, and by Feb. 2 I was on my way to Arizona to pick up my car,” he says. He picked up another ‘58 Olds later in Kansas City to use for parts. For Judice, owning the Olds is a sentimental thing. “It’s brand loyalty; it sentimentality,” he says. “It brings back memories of years gone by.” He also enjoys the pride he feels when he shows off the car, he says. “I’ve driven it in the UL-L homecoming parade the last four years, and have carried the queen in the parade. You feel proud to own a classic car.”

Lloyd Landry Lloyd Landry raised quarter horses as a hobby. But as the nephew of a mechanic, he, too, grew up around cars and trucks.

“I knew I couldn’t afford both horses and cars,” he says. “So I got out of horses.” Within six months, he had purchased the 1953 Ford F100 you see in the pictorial. The truck was in Colorado Springs, Landry says, and getting it back to SWLA took some effort. “I left Lake Charles on a Friday at noon,” he recalls. “We got to Colorado Springs that Saturday at noon. We left Colorado Springs at around 2 that same afternoon, trailering the truck, and got back into Lake Charles at around 2 pm that Sunday.” Landry’s wife, Linda, who also enjoys vehicles, didn’t want to be left out of her husband’s new hobby. It wasn’t long before she had a “show

car” of her own — the 1963 1/2 Ford Falcon Sprint you see on the following pages. The car, Landry explains, was designed as a test market vehicle to gauge the interest in the car that would eventually hit the market as the Mustang. “It’s one of 4,000 made,” says Landry. “It was introduced in April of 1963, so it’s called the 1963 1/2 Falcon Sprint. And what’s interesting is that the interior, the drive train, almost everything is interchangeable with the Mustang.” Landry says his wife is more than proud of the car. “That’s her baby,” he says. “She doesn’t take it out in the rain, or if it’s muddy. She’s very attentive and particular about it.” Like Judice, Landry feels that all of the effort necessary to get the vehicles, and to keep them up and in top condition, is worth it. “I just get a lot of enjoyment out of riding in old vehicles with modern upgrades,” he says. “I love sharing my vehicles with others, and being with others of like interests at shows and such.” Landry relates an incident from a recent

Larry Roach's 2008 Roush 250 Ltd. Mustang is one of only 150 ever built.

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Vinton car show as an example. “A 10-year-old kid was looking at the truck and was just fascinated with it,” Landry recalls. “I told him to go ahead and get in the truck to see how it feels and what it was like inside. He loved it. As a young man, you don’t have many opportunities to get an up-close look at vehicles like this.”

Jack Broussard Like both Landry and Judice, Jack Broussard bought his first classic car, a 1964 Galaxy 500 XL, for sentimental reasons. “I had one when I was younger,” he says. Broussard found the car in Cleveland, Ohio, via the Internet. He rebuilt it little by little. “One year, I’d focus on the motor,” he says. “The next, I’d work on the suspension.” Five or six years after he purchased the Galaxy, Broussard bought the Chevy Bel Air featured in the pictorial. “It was purchased at an auction in Dallas,” he says. “A friend was going up to purchase cars for six or seven friends, and bought this one as well. I ended up buying it from him.” The Bel Air, he says, had to be “completely redone.” But the result was worth it, he says, and today Broussard shows off the car at shows far and wide, including Colorado Springs, Col.; Springfield Mo.; Wichita, Kan.; Nashville, Tenn.; and in Kentucky, as well.

“We try to make one big show a year,” he says, “and make a vacation of it.” And, like the other owners featured, Broussard says he loves talking to others who share his passion, seeing what others in his hobby have done, and, yes, having his car admired.

Larry Roach Though none of them are featured in this issue’s pictorial, local attorney Larry Roach owns two “show vehicles” that, while not classic, are not lacking in history. Or muscle power. Like other collectors, Roach had grown up reading auto magazines and worshipping cars. While his financial focus in earlier years had been to support his family, Roach says that when he turned 50, he decided it was time to indulge his passion for muscle cars. “The kids were out of school, and I decided it was time to do something for myself,” he says. Roach now owns a 2008 Roush 250 Ltd. Mustang, designed by Jack Roush, Ford Motor Co. employee in the late 1960s, and founder of the Roush Fenway Nascar Racing Team. “At the time this car was built,” says

Roach, “it was the highest-powered American factory car you could buy.” It’s a rare car, as well. There were only 150 of these souped-up, handbuilt Mustangs made. “It’s not the most powerful car built,” says Roach. “The Corvette has a little more horsepower, but you can find a Corvette on any street corner. The Roush Mustangs are special.” The car, he explains, was Roush’s homage to Old Crow, an airplane that was flown by Clarence “Bud” Anderson in Korea. Anderson, says Roach, went on to fly experimental aircraft with Chuck Yeager during the late 1950s. “It even looks like the airplane,” says Roach. “It has a hood scoop on it, and lighter silver panels on it, to look like the lighter metal that was used to repair aircraft. He purchased the vehicle at what is now Tarver Ford, he says. When Mike Shetler owned the dealership, it was also a Roush dealership, he explains. This car was Shetler’s personal vehicle, and it ended up for sale. Roach also has a 2005 Pontiac GTO, which he describes as “like a four-seat Corvette.” It’s the only such vehicle in

Louisiana, he says. Also like the other collectors mentioned here, Roach bought his vehicles for sentimental reasons. “My dad was a Pontiac guy,” he says. “He had a 1966 GTO. In 1971, my brother bought a GTO. He borrowed money from me and one of our brothers, and we all drove it.” While Roach does show off his vehicles (he recently had his Roush at the Chennault Airshow) and enjoys talking about them and showing them to people, his focus is on enjoying them himself. His Roush has 15,000-plus miles on it, he says, and his GTO has 40,000. “I believe you should enjoy your cars,” he says. “I wanted cars I could drive right away. I also want cars with quality and value.” On his wish list? “There’s the new 50th anniversary Mustang coming out, and that would be nice,” he says. He’s also looking at a P-51 B Mustang, the sister car to the Mustang P-51 A, modeled after the P-51 A Mustang airplane.

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1957 CHEVROLET BEL AIR 2-DOOR HARDTOP Owner: Jack and Jena Broussard Owner Since: 2005 Rebuild/Restoration? Yes, 3.5 years Engine/Horsepower: 454, 450 horsepower Transmission: Turbo 400 Rear End: Ford 9" w/ 352 Wheels/Tires: Boyd Cod. 17x7 front, 17x9.5 rear Interior/Exterior Notes: Custom with four bucket seats

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1963.5 FORD FALCON SPRINT Owner: Linda Landry Owner Since: April 2013 Rebuild/Restoration? Purchased Engine/Horsepower: 302 C.I. Lincoln 1988 Transmission: 5-speed Mustang 1998 Wheels/Tires: 195/14 Interior/Exterior Notes: Rebuilt two years ago Special/Unique Features: One of only 4068 manufactured by Ford to test market for small muscle cars ... in 1964, the Ford Mustang hit the market

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TARVER FORD: Committed To Customers And Community BY CARLA FASADE Phillip Tarver, owner of Lake Charles Toyota, purchased Shetler Ford on Beglis Pkwy. in Sulphur four years ago. Since then, the dealership's new and pre-owned inventory has tripled, and it's also experienced a triple-digit sales increase since it opened.

Treated Like Family

Customers receive free oil changes for life, says Arrington, as well as free state inspections. And Tarver sales reps keep track of their customers long after the sale, making sure things are going well with their vehicles, making sure they remain happy to be part of the Tarver customer family. That kind of commitment from the sales staff makes sense, says Arrington, because Phillip Tarver is committed to his employees. "He's very family-oriented," says service manager Rusty Stroderd, who's worked with Tarver for nearly 25 years. "He allows you to take time for your family whenever you need to. And he never expects you to do anything he's not willing to do himself."

The reason for that kind of success? Tarver Ford treats its customers like family, and word has spread about the dealership's way of conducting business. "We take care of our customers like they've never been taken care of before in their lives," says Tarver Ford sales manager Mike Arrington. "Phillip Tarver has been in the car sales business for over 25 years, and his reputation for customer service has built up over time." Maintaining that legendary customer service is the number one goal of Tarver Ford's experienced management team, Part Of The which includes parts manager Robbie Community Louviere, service manager Rusty Tarver's generosity isn't limited to Stroderd, sales managers Mike Arrington his customers and his employees. The and Jared Bertrand and finance director dealership is also, says manager Jared John Howell. Tarver Ford's sales staff of Bertrand, undertaking a "grass roots 14 goes out of its way movement" to give to treat customers well back to the community. during the sale, and "As an example, Tarver's family-orientabout a year ago the ed approach means dealership bought a that they're not forgothuge outdoor grill and ten after they drive a trailer to haul it with," their new vehicle off says Bertrand. "We go the lot. to a football game for Fleet Manager Morris Helmer, each high school — 24 years experience, is pictured with Grass Roots Development Manager Barbe, Sam Houston, Shawn Fontenot. Sulphur, you name it — at least once

AT YOUR SERVICE Corey Tarver, Jared Bertrand and Mike Arrington.

throughout the football season. We cook and give away barbecue, crawfish, what have you. It's our way of being involved in the community — of giving back."

Certified Pre-owned Being nice guys to deal with, however, isn't enough to build a dealership's reputation on. You have to deliver the goods, and Tarver has a huge selection of new and Certified Pre-Owned vehicles to choose from. "You'll find it all here," says Arrington. "Four-wheel-drives, SUVs, trucks, small fuel-efficient cars — everything, across the board." The fact that the dealership was selected as a Ford Certified Pre-Owned dealership says a lot, according to Arrington. "There are only a few dealerships selected as Certified Pre-Owned dealers," he says. What does Certified Pre-Owned mean for customers? For one thing, says Arrington, each Ford Certified PreOwned vehicle undergoes a rigorous 172-point inspection, "everything from brakes to windshield wiper blades."

Stroderd says "Every preowned vehicle also undergoes rigorous mechanical inspections as well, and they also come with our famous four month, 4,000 mile limited powertrain warranty." And with Ford's Certified Pre-Owned warranty program, you can drive off in a preowned vehicle with complete confidence. Ford offers a 12month, 12,000-mile Comprehensive Limited Warranty on all Certified Pre-Owned vehicles, as well as a seven-year, 100,000-mile Powertain Limited Warranty. Customers receive a free vehicle report, and 24-hour roadside assistance.

On The Grow The parts and service department, which already goes the extra mile, even offering four diesel mechanics, will also undergo a huge expansion. The current canopied entrance, explains Louviere, will be enclosed to create more office space for the service dept. Several new service bays will be constructed. Tarver Ford is also extending their parts and service hours to include Saturday. "It's just another way for us to extend superior customer service," says Louviere. Tarver Ford offers a huge selection of vehicles, an experienced and caring staff, a friendly environment and a commitment to its customers and community. Stop by to see what Tarver Ford can offer you. For more information or any questions about this Tarver Fordvertorial, call (337) 625-3030. You can visit them online at www/tarverford.com or follow them on Facebook.

CONVENIENT LOCATION: Tarver Ford is located at 930 Beglis Parkway in Sulphur.

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1958 OLDSMOBILE SUPER 88 Owner: Clyde and Shirley Judice Owner Since: 2005 Rebuild/Restoration? Yes, 2 years, $50,000 Engine/Horsepower: 371 C.I. Transmission: Auto Wheels/Tires: White Interior/Exterior Notes: Red, white and silver Special/Unique Features: J2 engine

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1953 FORD F100 Owner: Lloyd and Linda Landry Owner Since: 2012 Rebuild/Restoration? Restoration Engine/Horsepower: 289 C.I. Mustang Transmission: C4 Rear End: 390 Wheels/Tires: 275/60/15 rear, 235/60/15 front Interior/Exterior Notes: Show truck Special/Unique Features: Paint job is 12 years old, power steering, runs and drives great

View more Dream Rides at www.bestofswla.com

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Taylor Finchum, Financial Advisor

The Women of

Taylor Finchum, born and raised in Sulphur, Louisiana is a second generation Edward Jones Advisor in the area. Finchum is a graduate of Louisiana State University where she received her Bachelor of Arts in Communication Studies with a minor in Business and Northwestern University where she received her Masters of Communication. After living and working in Chicago, New Orleans and Lafayette she realized

Edward Jones Vickie Wicks, Financial Advisor Vickie is married to Michael Wicks of Lake Charles, and they have one son Michael Donovan Wicks who attends McNeese State University. She started in the financial services industry in 1991 as an investment representative for a local bank (formerly Premier Bank). She opened her Edward Jones Branch in June of 1995. In 1998, she became a limited partner with Edward Jones and from 2001-2013, she served as Regional Leader for SWLA and SE Texas financial advisors.

She is currently serving as a Senior Regional Leader for Louisiana and Texas. In 2006 Wicks was named General Partner. She is currently on the Cabinet for the SWLA United Way, serving as Chairman 2007-2008 and also a member of the Better Business Bureau. She has been a Rotarian for 17 years with the Greater Lake Charles Rotary Club and served as its president in 2001. Vickie is a McNeese State University graduate with a BA in Liberal Arts and holds the AAMS designation. She is a member of Our Lady Queen of Heaven Catholic Church. Vickie has been quoted in the book, “The Girls’

Guide to Power to Success,” written by Susan Wilson Solovic. She is on page 15 which mentions her positive attitude philosophy and her business success in Lake Charles, LA. She can Be heard on LA 92.9 every afternoon for the market update. The Edward Jones philosophy is that service to the individual is of utmost importance. This is my passion, serving others. We provide quality, longterm investment opportunities that include a broad mix of municipal, government and corporate bonds; mutual funds; common stocks; and tax advantaged securities Our firm was founded in 1922 by Edward D. Jones, Sr.

Theresa Schmidt, Branch Office Administrator

Alicia has been with our office and Edward Jones for 15 years. She is married to Gregory Thibodeaux, and they have two children, Gabriel and Amelia. She has a BS degree from LSU in Social Work and is originally from Crowley, LA. Se has served on the Allocation & Review Committee for the SWLA United Way. She has been a key to customer service with her knowledge and expertise in the financial services industry and is a limited partner.

Theresa has been with our office for 1 1/2 years. She is married to Mark and they have two children, Meagan and Chelsea and three grandchildren. Originally from Oklahoma she brings over 30 years of financial experience to our office. She gives back to our community with her involvement in the March of Dimes and Cancer Society Walks each year. She is key to our customer service with her knowledge of the financial industry. I’m very proud of these ladies, and they are my partners in business. They have achieved a great deal within the Edward Jones community .

LA, one of more than 11,000 branches located in all 50 states and Canada. She has been recognized for numerous achievements through the years. Paula became a Limited Partner in 2006, an opportunity available to the firm’s associates because Edward Jones is a partnership and not a publicly traded company. A native of Crowley, LA, Paula graduated rom LSU with a B.S. degree (business minor) and was a member of Phi Beta Kappa, the academic honors society. Her children are son Eric Wayne Winzer who recently married Kristin King and daughter Lori Nicole Winzer all of whom reside in Lumberton, TX. In prior years with Edward Jones, Paula was active in the local Woman’s Club and served two terms as president, was on the board of the Performing and Visual Arts Council, and was a board member of the local Chamber of Commerce. Since coming to the Lake Charles community, she is now a member of the Newcomers Club and the Krewe de la Louisiane.

Sheila Gaskin, Senior Branch Office Administrator Sheila Gaskin, is the other partner of thebranch team who has been with the firm for the past 18 1/2 years. Her experience and expertise are key to providing excellent client service. She was born in Arlington, VA, has resided in Lake Charles for many years and is an MSU graduate in business. Sheila is a Limited partner and her current Leadership Roles are BOA Educational Specialist and BOA Mentor. She received the 2002 BOA of the Year Award. Sheila has one daughter, Lauren Gaskin, who is a sophomore at St. Louis High School. The Edward Jones philosophy is strongly practiced in the branch: service to the individual through developing deep relationships are of utmost importance. All aspects of our business are aligned to help us better understand and meet our clients’ unique goals and needs.

4999 Common Street • Lake Charles, LA • 474-6087 50

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Member SIPC

Donna Greaney, Branch Office Adminstrator

Trina Duhon, Financial Advisor As an Edward Jones financial advisor, I believe it's important to invest my time to understand what you’re working toward before you invest your money. Working closely with you and your CPA, attorney and other professionals, I can help determine the most appropriate financial strategy for you and your family. I can also help with your retirement savings strategy so you have more options when you retire, regardless of what you decide to do. I attended the University of Southern Mississippi and graduated in 1994 with a Bachelors of Science in Business. Originally from Gulfport, MS, I have lived in Lake Charles since 2007. I began my career with Edward Jones in 2011 but have worked in the banking and investments business since 1998. I have worked for Chase Bank in Houston, TX and Sulphur, LA, First Federal Bank in Lake Charles, Bank of America in Houston, TX and Dallas, TX

Brooke Pleasant, Financial Advisor

4315 Lake Street #1 • Lake Charles, LA • 477-2356

Our Edward Jones branch team helps you “Make Sense of Investing.” We believe it’s important to invest our time to understand your financial goals before you invest your money. Key to this is getting to know you one-on-one to help determine the most appropriate financial strategies for you and your family. Edward Jones is one of the only firms to serve individual investors exclusively. Paula Winzer, Financial Advisor, began her career with Edward Jones in 1986 as a Branch Office Administrator in Silsbee, TX. Subsequently to getting her securities and insurance licenses in 2006, she traveled for the firm to branches around the U.S. as a Transitional Advisor. In September, 2011, she assumed the advisor position for the branch at 4999 S. Common St. in Lake Charles,

1-800-EDWARDJONES

1906 Maplewood Drive • Sulphur, LA • 625-9167

Alicia Thibodeaux, Senior Branch Office Administrator

Paula Winzer, Financial Advisor

how much she missed the lifestyle in Southwest Louisiana and all it has to offer. Taylor’s community involvement is through her work on the Contraband Days Louisiana Pirate Festival Advisory Board and as a member of the Sulphur Rotary Club. She is working with local civic and business leaders to unite young professionals to become more active in the Sulphur community. She is grateful to be a part of the Sulphur community and looks forward to becoming more involved in the continued growth of the region.

Brooke Pleasant is married to Beau Pleasant. They are both natives of Sulphur and have four children, Cameron, Jackson, Arden and Anderson. Their children attend T.S. Cooley Elementary, Episcopal Day School and St. Luke Simpson Preschool. Brooke earned her BS in psychology and minor in sociology from Louisiana State University. She continued her education at McNeese State University where she researched economic cycles and financial markets and earned her MBA in 2011. Brooke’s experience in outside sales and business development is what led her to her career with Edward Jones in July 2012. Her office is located in downtown Lake Charles.

Kayla Stark, Financial Advisor Kayla Stark joined Edward Jones in January of 2011. She was chosen to participate in the Edward Jones apprentice program for recent college graduates. During the program, Kayla was able to shadow other financial advisors and their business. After completing the program, she began her securities training and became a licensed registered representative. Kayla has served as a Financial Advisor for Edward Jones in Lake Charles, since October 2011. She graduated from the Louisiana State University E.J. Ourso College of Business with a BS degree in Finance in December 2010. Prior to coming to work for Edward Jones, Kayla worked as an intern in the finance department directly under the Vice President of Finance for a large home health company, Amedisys. She is also an alumni of the LSU chapter of Delta Sigma Pi, a collegiate business fraternity. Kayla is from Orange, TX where she met her husband Dusty Stark. They recently got married in May of this year.

Donna is new to Edward Jones. She has been with Trina Duhon’s office for 11 months. Originally from Michigan, she is a U.S. Army veteran of 15 years. She has one son James and is engaged to William Francis. Bill and Donna reside in Westlake. At Edward Jones, we’re focused on you. The firm has thousands of people and advanced technology supporting our office so that we can help you reach your long-term financial goals. and Fidelity Investments in Dallas,TX. My husband, Patrick C. Duhon, and I have four children. I have been active in business and civic affairs in Lake Charles for many years. I am also a member of Zion Tabernacle Baptist Church.

1700 E. Prien Lake Road Lake Charles, LA • 475-2747 Tracie David, Branch Office Adminstrator Tracie David has been with Edward Jones since 2010. She is married to Greg David of Lake Charles and they have three boys, Dylan, Derek and Devin. They are members of St. Martin de Porres Catholic Church and Tracie is a volunteer coordinator with Ainsley’s Angels of Southwest Louisiana. Tracie brings over 12 years of banking and financial services experience to our office, which enables her to provide our clients with excellent customer service.

921 Ryan Street Lake Charles, LA • 493-1085 Linda Ellis, Branch Office Adminstrator Linda has been with Edward Jones for over 12 years. She was born and raised in Lake Charles and is married to Jim Ellis from DeQuincy. They have two children, Tina and Jamie and four grandchildren, three boys and one girl. Linda graduated from McNeese State University and received a BS degree in Business Administration and a minor in Accounting. She also became a limited partner with Edward Jones in 2011.

4443 Nelson Road #5 Lake Charles, LA • 477-7985

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Aging Autos Maintaining A Car Beyond 100,000 Miles By Vicky Katz Whitaker YOU’VE NURTURED “Old Blue” through dozens of brake pad and oil changes, regularly rotated her tires, and faithfully adhered to the maintenance schedule recommended in her owner’s manual. Your aging car may have some dents and dings, and perhaps a spot of rust, but chances are the engine is running as smoothly as it did the first time you got behind the wheel ... 100,000 miles ago. Sticking to that maintenance routine and inspecting parts commonly prone to long-term wear and tear — especially the timing belt — can keep your vehicle running for another 100,000 miles or more, automotive experts say. “If you want your car to last till 200,000 (miles), you need to do the normal maintenance regularly,” says Mike Allen, an ASE-certified automotive technician, race car driver and senior automotive editor at Popular Mechanics magazine. “A single trip to the shop for a major redo can’t make up for years of neglect.”

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At the top of Allen’s to-do list? “Eighty (thousand) to 100,000 miles is the recommended interval for replacing the timing belt. Do not postpone this maintenance. A failed timing belt can destroy your engine.” The timing belt drives all the engine components. If the timing belt breaks, say experts, the engine breaks. Unlike most European cars, which use a chain drive, the timing belt in domestic cars is made of rubber that can dry out and crack. Beyond the timing belt, all cars in the 100,000-mile range should have fluids, brakes, belts, hoses and the suspension system inspected. The normal life span for accessory drive belts and radiator and heater hoses is five years or 100,000 miles, says Allen. “Most cars today use a long-life coolant that needs to be flushed and replaced after five years, so have your mechanic take a close look at the hoses and belts while the system is already drained.” And, he adds, “many car manufacturers don’t specify

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that brake fluid ever be changed. Others do, so it’s not a bad idea to flush your dirty, water-contaminated fluid, especially if you have ABS brakes. An ABS controller can cost thousands to replace if it fails as a result of contaminated brake fluid.” “Suspension components such as shock absorbers and any mounting bushes will wear and degrade with age, so any knocking or clicking noises, vague steering response or poor ride quality concerns should be checked by a professional whenever they are noticed,” advises Robert Hills, senior education program manager for the Universal Technical Institute’s Automotive Technology Training Center. Hills believes regular maintenance should include the car’s exterior and interior, especially if you live in a climate harsh on vehicle finishes. Road salt used for melting ice and snow, for instance, can corrode the underside of wheel arches and sills. Stone chips and deep scratches will eventually corrode steel panels. “Always

touch up minor chips, and have scratches repaired as soon as possible,” he says. Weekly washing and regular waxing will help to protect the paint and reduce the chance of fading. Other wear points are driver’s side door hinges, locks and door check straps. “They can sometimes be a problem on really high-mileage vehicles because of the frequency of opening and closing,” Hills says. Still, he says, there are significant advantages to keeping a high-mileage car, not the least of which may be freedom from making car payments. “Without a car payment, you’ll only have to pay for routine maintenance and running costs,” he says. And it seems that these days, more people are holding on to their cars; in 2011, the average age of a car in the United States was a record 10.8 years, according to data compiled by R. Polk & Co., which tracks trends for the automotive industry. In the mid-1990s, the average age of a car was only 8.4 years.


Got Any Cables? Your Car Won't Start. Is It A Dead Battery? Bad Starter? By Matthew Wright IF YOU TURN YOUR CAR KEY and get nothing, or get anything less than an engine roaring to life, you might be in for a bad day. Starting problems can be very frustrating because there are so many things under the hood that can keep a car from starting. Heck, pretty much everything under the hood can keep the car from starting. In order to troubleshoot a no-start problem, you need to start at the beginning of the line, the battery, and work your way back. Some tests for a no-start problem are simple, others are a pain in the neck and a technical nightmare. Nonetheless, you need to figure out why the car won’t start, so we’ll try to help. If your car won’t start, try checking for the following issues: Check Your Fuses: Few cars have a fuse associated with the starting system, but before you go monkeying around with everything, check your fuses to be sure it’s not that simple. Battery Corrosion: Over time, your battery connections can become dirty or corroded. This corrosion breaks the connection your battery has with the rest of the car, and it won’t start. Try cleaning your battery posts and try to start the car again. Dead Battery: The most common reason your car won’t start is a dead battery. If you have a battery tester that can measure cranking amps, test your battery to see if it’s weak. If you can’t test it yourself, you can test the battery indirectly by jump-starting the car. If it starts right away, your problem is most likely a dead battery. Replace the battery, and clean the battery connections to ensure good contact. Bad Ignition Switch: If your battery checks out, but the starter is still silent, it may be a faulty ignition switch. Turn the key to the on position (not all the way to start). If the red warning lights on your dash don’t light up (and your battery connections are clean), the ignition switch is bad. If they do light up, turn the key to the start position. The dash warning lights should turn off at this key position (most cars). If you’re not sure, turn on the headlights. When you try to start the car, the lights should either dim (a lot) or turn off completely. If they do, your ignition switch should be OK. If not, the switch will need replacement. Bad Starter Connection: Corrosion can not only keep your battery from connecting, it can affect any electrical component, especially the ones exposed to the elements like the starter. If you have a helper, you can test the connection by holding a circuit tester lead on the wire that engages the starter. This is the smaller of the two wires connected to the

starter. Be sure no part of your body is near the moving parts of the engine — it could still start at any time! Have a friend turn the key and check the current.

If you’re getting current to the starter but it isn’t spinning, it needs replacement. If your starter spins freely when you turn the key, the problem lies elsewhere.

Now you can begin to check the other systems that could keep it from firing up.

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Kind Of A Drag Reduce Drag And Maximize Aerodynamics To Improve Efficiency By Sharon Naylor THE PRICE OF FUEL continues to hit the average American’s wallet hard with each fill-up. With some easy changes, though, you may find yourself filling up your gas tank far less often — and saving money in the process. Here are some smart strategies that can help you get better fuel efficiency from your car. Remove all unnecessary items. If you’re lugging around heavy boxes of sports supplies, books or other items, your car has to work harder. According to the energy efficiency site EarthEasy.com, an extra 100 pounds of cargo increases fuel consumption per tank of gas by 1 to 2 percent. The drag of heavy cargo creates more waste in stopand-go driving, so it’s best to remove all unnecessary packages, boxes and other items from your car. Some energy efficiency experts even suggest taking out removable seats and benches that you don’t use on a regular basis to further lighten your load. But don’t go too far in weight reduction, such as removing your spare tire and

tools from your trunk. You always want to keep safety supplies handy. It’s the too-lazy-to-put-this-in-the-garage junk in your car that’s wasting your fuel money. Remove any unused racks from your car. When empty luggage bike racks are affixed to your car, they create drag because the air traveling over and down your car’s profile hits the vertical resistance of these units. If it’s too inconvenient to remove these racks, simply remove the cross bars to reduce frontalarea drag. Drive with your windows and sunroof closed. When these portals are open, air flows inside your car while you’re driving and creates a drag effect similar to an open parachute. According to EarthEasy.com’s experts, “At higher speeds, using the (air conditioning) may be more efficient than the wind resistance from open windows and sunroof. Later model cars have more efficient air conditioning units, and the fuel saved by shutting down the A/C is not significant. In newer vehicles, roll up the windows

SUPER SAVINGS!

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and enjoy the A/C during hot weather.” Remove your vehicle’s rear spoiler. Or choose a car that doesn’t have a rear spoiler. This feature is for racing, not for street use, and having yours professionally removed by your mechanic can significantly reduce your drag quotient. Maintain proper tire inflation. EarthEasy.com’s experts say, “Underinflated tires can cause fuel consumption to increase by as much as 6 percent” and advise you to check your tire pressure at least once a month when your tires are “cold” (when the vehicle has not been driven for at least three hours). Use a handheld tire inflation gauge, and follow directions in your vehicle’s manual, checking to be sure your front and back tires are inflated to the set pressures suggested for each by the manufacturer. If any tire is under-inflated, head to your gas station to check the pressure again, and then use the station’s air inflator to bring each of your tires to within their optimal pressure range, as noted

in your manual and often on a sticker inside your car door well. “Radial tires can be under-inflated yet still look normal,” warns EarthEasy.com. “On average, tires lose about 1 (pound per square inch) per month and 1 PSI for every 10-degree drop in temperature.” Never inflate your car tires to the maximum allowed pressure marked on your tires, thinking that fuller tires would be better. Over-inflated tires can, in fact, explode, so stay within the suggested range. Keep the top up. Fuel efficiency site Fuel-Economy.co.uk’s experts suggest that convertible drivers should always drive on highways with their top up, which may not be as much fun but reduces a large amount of drag on faster roadways. Remove flags, banners and antenna decor. These decorative items for team pride, school spirit, patriotism and other statements are ideal for displaying your message when the car is parked, but remove them for the drive.


Women & Mechanics How To Save Time And Money On Auto Repairs By Ginny Frizzi KNOWLEDGE IS POWER. This is true when it comes to many things, including women and mechanics. Though many women have become knowledgeable about many traditionally male-oriented fields, the automobile repair isn’t usually one of them. So how can a woman prepare to deal with a mechanic? The first step, according to John Wetmore, producer of “Perils for Pedestrians,” is to read the owners manual. “For routine maintenance, the owners manual spells out what is recommended at what time and at what mileage intervals,” Wetmore says. He adds that another benefit of reading the owners manual is that you can learn how to check the fluids by yourself. “If a coolant drops below critical levels, you can do major damage to your car before your next scheduled visit for maintenance,” he says. “If it seems too complicated, get someone to show you how. Every car owner should know how to check fluid levels, air pressure in tires, (see) if their lights work and other simple basic functions.” Kiai Kim, who writes for TheRugged.com, an online men’s magazine, and Motorcyclebaby.com, agrees. “Every person who owns a car should understand how it works to some degree. This is the best way to make sure a mechanic doesn’t take advantage of lack of knowledge,” says Kim. She also recommends a basic tutorial in how a car operates. “There are steps to troubleshooting the (most) basic problems a car can have: Do you hear a click when you turn the key? Do the lights work? Does the engine start to turn? Is there enough gasoline in the tank?,” says Kim. “At the least, get some basic understanding of how cars work. Learn how to check spark plugs, for example. Then, when you present the problem, using certain key terms and explaining what you’ve already checked will alert the shop mechanic that you won’t take any (nonsense).” When it comes to finding a mechanic, the worst thing a woman — or man — can do is to pick a mechanic out of the phone book or off the Internet, according to LeeAnn Shattuck, co-owner and “chief car chick” of Women’s Automotive Solutions, a consulting firm that helps women buy cars. Shattuck, who also hosts “America’s Garage Radio Show,” educates a lot of women on car care maintenance, and even holds clinics. “(Choosing a mechanic through the phone book or Internet) is the worst way to get quotes. They probably can’t guarantee a price over the phone, because until they take the car apart, they really don’t know what’s wrong with it,” she says. Women should not be afraid to get a second opinion when it comes to any car

repairs, especially major — and expensive — ones. “Unfortunately, some places will overcharge just because you are a woman, or just because. My car broke down far away from home, and the owner of the shop

wanted to charge me $600 to change the distributor. I found one for $250 a few miles down the road and changed it myself. Granted, most car owners — let alone women — won’t know how to do this; sometimes you’ll still be stuck,” says Kim.

Kim suggests having contact information in your glove compartment for mechanics you trust or people who know cars well enough to make a price comparison.

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Mileage Milestone Plan Ahead And Follow These Tips

HAS YOUR CAR RECENTLY celebrated a mileage milestone? Cars are better-designed and more technologically advanced than ever; every car should make it to 60,000 miles, and the majority of them will make it to 120,000 miles and quite possibly beyond. But instead of cupcakes and party favors, your mechanic hands you a laundry list of maintenance items that need to be taken care of. Do you really need to do all of them? Within a generation, cars went from

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being something that a weekend tinkerer could fix to being so complicated that most mechanics need a specialized degree to work on them. Because most people don’t understand what’s going on under the hood, any suggestions from your mechanic for additional work may seem like a greedy grab for more money. Perhaps the best place to start is your owner’s manual. Every car comes with one, and every car owner should spend a few hours perusing it. Cars nowadays are individualized, so blanket


statements — such as “get your oil changed every 3,000 miles” — no longer apply. Consult your owner’s manual to see your car’s recommended oil change schedule. Another major factor that influences when and what your car needs done is the conditions in which you drive it. Conventionally, it’s recommended that you replace the air filter in your car once a year, or every 15,000 miles. Though that’s a good practice for city drivers, if you go off-roading or drive on a lot of dirt and gravel roads, you’ll need to replace the air filter much more frequently, possibly even every three months or so. That said, your car should be on a maintenance schedule. Keep up with the oil changes; get the tires rotated and balanced; check the fluids regularly. Find a mechanic you trust, and go to that person for everything. Loyalty is occasionally rewarded with discounts, and having a comprehensive history of your car’s maintenance in one place can be helpful. So do you specifically need a 60,000-mile checkup? Again, cars and technology have advanced so much recently that conventional wisdom no longer applies. So check your owner’s manual, or check with the dealership or directly with the maker. Internet forums also can be a gold mine for maintenancerelated queries. However, most auto makers do recommend you get a 60,000-mile checkup.

In addition to the usual fluids and tire check, many cars will need spark plugs replaced and the timing belt replaced or adjusted at that mark. Think of it this way: Your car is now middle-aged and needs a thorough physical. All the systems should be checked thoroughly and fixed accordingly, including the brakes, suspension, steering, fuel system, engine, exhaust and cooling. This can be major maintenance, so plan ahead financially and get an estimate. If your car left 60,000 miles in the dust long ago, then you need to be even more fastidious with your maintenance schedule. Just as older humans need to go to the doctor more frequently, your car will need your mechanic’s help more than ever in its twilight years. Every 15,000 miles or so, you should be heading to the mechanic for minor tune-ups, but once you cross the 120,000-mile mark, you’ll need to have your mechanic check every major system. Once again, spark plugs and the timing belt are likeliest to have worn out, but everything should be monitored. At this point in your car’s life, your mechanic may try to start selling you on high-mileage oil. Most mechanics recommend it for cars with more than 100,000 miles. What is it? Oil that has a few additives to help aging engines. Is it worth it? The jury is still out, but at $15 more than standard oil, it is considered by most consumers to be marketing hype.

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Auto Organizers Organize Your Car, Simplify Your Life By Sharon Naylor YOUR CAR IS AN ACTUAL living space — just like your home — especially if you spend a lot of time commuting, ferrying kids to their sports and other

activities, driving to appointments for your job, or running errands. When you and your family slide into a clean and neat car, you feel more empowered.

It’s also safer to have an organized car. Without a large number of empty drink bottles, coffee cups, wrappers, magazines and toys in the car, you save

yourself from potential projectiles should you get into a car accident. Also, items won’t roll beneath your brake pedal, which could possibly prevent you from stopping your car. A clean car keeps your essentials, such as your cellphone, sunglasses and change, right at hand, allowing you to focus on the road, instead of digging through your handbag or piles of clutter while you’re driving. A neat car is a safer car, for you and for your driving teens, so share the tips in this article with them. You’ll notice that new vehicle models have more organizing features than ever before. A recent Consumer Reports study revealed some of their picks for cars with cool storage features: • The Honda Civic, Toyota Camry and Buick Enclave have lots of bins and cubbies. • Most Chrysler and Dodge minivans have under-floor bins in front of the second-row seats. • The Mazda 5 features clever storage compartments under the second-row seat cushions. • The Ford F-250 has huge console storage compartments.

It’s safer to have an organized car. Without a large number of empty drink bottles, coffee cups, wrappers, magazines and toys in the car, you save yourself from potential projectiles should you get into a car accident. If you’re car shopping, assess the vehicle’s storage features. If you’d rather transform your existing car, easy, affordable tools, tubs and totes can turn your car into a neat space that helps you and your family be more efficient. First, start by cleaning everything out of your car, giving the interior and trunk space a good vacuuming and assessing what storage tools will meet your needs. You’ll find many top-rated car organizers at Target.com, ContainerStore.com, Organize.com, OrganizeYourRide.com and StacksandStacks.com, says Consumer Reports. 58

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Here are the top choices in car storage:

Front-Seat Organizer Check out Case Logic’s front-seat car organizer, a unit that sits on your passenger side seat, holding your cellphone, tablet, papers and other easy-grab items you may need during your ride.

Trunk Organizer The Modular Hauler System, by Mountainsmith ($50 to $100-plus), is composed of three color-coded cases that fit inside a larger flexible case. Each section can hold grocery bags, or you can assign each family member a color, so that each person can be in charge of their own equipment and supplies. With zippered closures and pockets, each module can be secured to keep items from falling out. Some brands of modular trunk cases have Velcro on the bottom to prevent the case from sliding around in an empty trunk.

A waterproof, durable-fabric modular organizer (about $20) on the back seat — attached via a seat belt for security — allows children to access their own games and healthy snacks. Cup holders keep sippy cups and drink bottles upright and cleaner than they would be rolling around on the car seat or floor. This unit works double duty when you unclick the seat belt and bring the organizer to the beach, park, playground or any other location.

Folding Crates Heavy-duty folding plastic crates are ideal for storing weighty sports equipment, books, garage sale finds and other items that need durable containment and protection. If you shop at warehouse stores such as Costco, Sam’s Club and other large-volume shops, these crates will securely hold all of your groceries, including breakables such as eggs and glass drink bottles. These types of crates come in multiple colors and collapse flat when not in use, and their easy-grip handles allow you to transport heavy items into and out of your car. They cost about $5-10.

Litter / Recycling Bag Place two sizable waterproof, durable trash bags in your car for easier, instant disposing of empty coffee cups. Mark the second bag as a receptacle for recyclable aluminum cans and glass bottles. They run about $3-10.

Visor Organizer A small organizer that clips onto your sun visor can hold parking garage tickets, valet tickets, event tickets and other paper items. Simply slide these flat items into the visor organizer’s pockets and you’ll never worry about where they might be in your pocket or handbag. They cost anywhere from $5 to $20.

Catch-All Look at Case Logic’s catch-all organizer (less than $5), a neoprene pouch that hooks onto your dashboard vent and provides a safe landing place for your sunglasses, cellphone, wallet, or notepad and pen while your hands are on the wheel. This design’s snug fit and deep pocket ensures that items will not fall out while you’re driving.

Change Purse Keep a small zippered or snapclosed change purse in your car’s console for easy access to quarters you might need for parking meters. You can usually get them for $5 or less.

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Decide To Drive Reducing Driver Distractions Saves Lives By Arnold Nesbitt THE LOUISIANA Orthopaedic Association (LOA) has joined the American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons (AAOS) in participating in the Decide To Drive campaign. The Decide To Drive national public service campaign uses television, radio and print public service messages that are designed to reduce driver distractions, which pose a threat to driver, passengers and pedestrians. The campaign was launched in partnership with the Orthopaedic Trauma Assoc. and the Alliance of Automobile Manufacturers. It has particular relevance in the summer, when distracted driving reaches its high point. Driver distractions include text messaging, using a cell phone or smart phone, using navigation systems, adjusting radios, eating and drinking, putting on make-up, talking to other passengers and any other behaviors that cause the driver to divert attention from safe driving. People take their personal safety for granted, and when they do, they create an increased risk for themselves and others.

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According to LOA president Dr. John Noble, orthoepaedic surgeon with Center for Orthopaedics, an affiliate of Imperial Health, 387,000 people were injured in motor vehicles crashes involving a distracted driver in 2011. More than 3,300 were killed. “Orthopaedic surgeons are called in to help repair traumatic injuries caused by

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motor vehicle crashes every day, many of which are the result of distracted driving,” says Noble. “We see the damage first-hand and know the long-range impact it often has on lives. That’s why we feel so strongly about this campaign.” It doesn’t take much for a small distraction to create a big problem. Consider text messaging; sending or receiving a text takes

a driver’s eyes away from the road for 4.5 seconds. It doesn’t seem like that long, but in actuality, it’s the equivalent of driving the length of a football field blindfolded. “When you think of it in that context, it becomes clear why so many crashes are caused by text messaging and all the other distractions that everyday driving can bring,” says Noble.


Summer is a particularly vulnerable time for distracted driving among teenagers, according to the AAOS. The break from school means more time for fun, friends and driving; unfortunately, that often translates into texting, eating and applying makeup on the road. The AAOS notes that crashes and

related injuries and fatalities involving teen drivers and passengers are most likely to occur between Memorial Day and Labor Day. The first step is for drivers to “decide to drive,” according to Noble. One way to do this is to follow the Decide To Drive Wreck-less Checklist: — Before you start your car, put on any accessories you may need, such as sunglasses or Bluetooth ear pieces; adjust seats, head rests, vehicle controls and mirrors; fasten your seat belt; move all reading material away from easy reach; pre-load CDs or mp3 playlists and adjust volume level so your music doesn’t mask the sounds of emergency sirens; enter an address in the navigation system before you depart or review maps and written directions before you drive. — The AAOS, OTA and the Auto Alliance encourage all drivers to simply stop your vehicle — in a safe area — any time there’s a distraction that needs your attention, such as retrieving items, having an involved discussion, reading, smoking or disciplining a child. — Don’t eat or drink while driving. — Keep your eyes on the road. — Driving is not the time to apply make-up, groom, polish your nails or change clothing. Noble also noted that the Decide To Drive website has a form drivers can use to report distracted driving. For more info on the Decide To Drive campaign, visit www.decidetodrive.org.

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Decking Out The Backyard Bu Calvin Tyler

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ike many, I once stood in my blank and barren backyard and thought, “How can this feel more like a place people would actually want to come visit? The kind of backyard that is interesting as well as inviting, so that when one is graced by its presence they have no other desire than to compliment on a job well done?” This was my goal and, as with most of my goals, obsession would soon take hold when I hit to the answer-box with “inexpensive backyard deck” as my query to Google. The Internet is riddled with DIYers

showing off their amazing works in constructing cheap decks, but almost all of them were of standard design. No 4x4 posts and 2x10 runners would impress me to the point of investing my time, money and energy. Too boring. What really caught my eye was that there were folks out there using reclaimed materials, such as lumber pulled from barns and dilapidated structures, and since my home was located in the historic district of Lake Charles, I felt this might be a perfect fit. The look and feel of older wood adds

such character and depth that it definitely met my standards when it came to both the interesting and inviting aspects of what I was hoping to accomplish; but I would soon learn that A) finding a barn to pull wood from isn’t easy, and B) it isn’t cheap. People don’t just have barns and buildings that they are willing to let random folks go through and take just what they need for their outdoor decks. So, with all creative gears in full motion, I went back to the Internet to see what other people had come up with. It wasn’t long before I found the

answer: shipping pallets. Pallets are used by companies to move and store larger loads of things. There’s really no need for me to explain any further; we’ve all seen them around lumberyards, underneath the stuff that costs money. Most lumberyards receive them in such excess that they allow the public to come and take them away. Free, distressed lumber. Pallets are the perfect material for this cheapskate weekend warrior, so I set out to accumulate as many as I could for my soon-to-be amazing deck. After bringing home five truckloads of pallets, and receiving a few strange looks from my continued

The top boards made me instantly feel smarter.

Josey Wales would totally spit here.

Safest idea EVER!

Dang, it feels good to be a cheapskate.

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th Sale ends Oct. 27 !

www.graywoodllc.com

Diane Dunphy Gaar (337)322-2223

Applies to D.R. Horton communities in Louisiana only. Prices, plans, features, options and co-broke are subject to change without notice. Additional restrictions may apply. Square footages are approximate. Pictures are of model home only and are for demonstrative purposes only. Our homes are not sold furnished or decorated. D.R. Horton Sites routinely contain links to external, third party websites. By providing links to other sites, D.R. Horton does not guarantee, approve or endorse the information or products available at these sites, nor does a link indicate any association with or endorsement by the linked site to the D.R. Horton site in question. D.R. Horton does not operate or control and has no responsibility for the information, products and/or services found on any external sites. Visitors to the D.R. Horton Sites assume complete responsibility and risk in their use of any external sites. Visitors should direct any concerns regarding any external link to its site administrator or webmaster.


Legendary moment accomplished!

darling wife, I began the process of laying out my design. An L-shaped design, I felt, would give my yard the symmetry that it so desperately needed, while also offering a little space for a rock area and fire pit. The old, meager stepping-stone patio that had once disgraced my home was removed, and the stones were reused to raise and level my pallets, allowing me to celebrate my cheapness once again. After laying out the design and leveling the deck, I proceeded to lock the pallets together with large lag bolts so to maintain their structural integrity. Spraying the pallets with pesticide and weather sealer wasn’t a bad idea, either, because this lumber, as awesome a bargain as it is, is not treated for weather or

insects. Purchasing building materials is not at the top of the to-do list of anyone who’s trying to keep to a low budget, but sometimes there’s no way around it. I decided to face the surface of my deck with 1x8 pine, which was relatively low-cost due to the wood being of a lower grade (having lots of knots). This was necessary, because the top boards used for pallets are often uneven and differ in width. There is a certain sunlight that shines through a man’s soul when he stands at the verge of greatness. But, that feeling is instantly dwarfed if that man happens to be married and his wife gives him that look of, “You’re on the verge of greatness.” My wife gave me that look. Once the pallets were trimmed and surfaced with store-bought lumber, there was no way of telling that the foundation was constructed entirely out of shipping pallets that the lumberyards were throwing away. We stained and sealed the wood, laid down a grass barrier and began designing the rock area. To surround the rocks, and keep them within the designated area, I cut some pallet wood down to size, added a 45-degree angle to their ends, and hammered them into the ground to create a wall separating this area from the rest of the yard. All of this cost me nothing. The decision to use pea gravel came with remembering what it feels like to slide your toes into the sand at the beach. That — and knowing that my neighbor had lots of cats that were outside most of the time — caused me to consider using a stone that would mimic the same feeling of sand, while also deterring the kitties from going potty in my relaxation zone. The pea gravel used was purchased from a local quarry at a wholesale price much cheaper than that sold in small bags at the home improvement stores, costing me a total of $48 for 1.5 tons! We celebrated the deck with an impromptu get-together unlike that of any we had ever experienced before. To all friends involved with the project: I am extremely thankful for and grateful to you. What we did was something that “normal” folks thought could never be done. We had successfully given my family the deck of their dreams for under $500, and for that I will always tip my hat when in your company. We proved that anyone can better their backyard with a little research, legwork and great friends. Even somebody as dirt-cheap as me.

From Wikepedia: Discarded wooden pallets should not be used for firewood or crafts unless it has been determined that the wood in these pallets has not been treated with wood preservatives, fungicides and/or pesticides. Various pyrethrins and propiconazole are common treatments for wooden pallets. In addition, imported palletized goods are routinely fumigated with highly toxic pesticides. Stine Lumber Company in Lake Charles does allow the public to haul away their extra shipping pallets, but be sure to use your manners and call ahead to get permission. Port Aggregates is the local rock quarry mentioned in this story. 64

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Modern Kitchen Design And Remodel Designing And Remodeling Your Kitchen In Modern Style • By Lee Wallender

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ant to design and remodel your kitchen in a clean, m o d e r n style? Here’s a list of suggested materials and techniques that might make your next kitchen remodel look thoroughly modern. It’s a grab-bag of suggested, not required, touches often found in modern kitchens.

Sleek, Unembellished Kitchen Cabinets Kitchen cabinets can visually occupy up to 75 percent of the room. Get the cabinets right, and you can consider your modern kitchen design a slam-dunk. Modern kitchen cabinet manufacturers include Snaidero, IKEA and Aran. Forget embellishments. Modern kitchen

cabinets tend to be flat, smooth and uncomplicated. Tones can be on the lighter side, such as light oak, or stark blacks and grays.

Free-Standing (Island-Mount) Range Hood It’s unthinkable to remodel a kitchen and call it “modern” without including one of these free-standing range hoods. They’re called “island-mount” range hoods, and they can be mounted over an island’s cooktop — or against the wall. continued

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Favored material for range hoods is stainless steel, of course. If you really want to get fancy (and pay a price in the mid-four-figure range), you can even get a motorized island-mount hood, like the Miele DA5000D, which raises and lowers at the mere touch of a button.

Appliances, Appliances This may go without saying, but any modern kitchen worthy of the title features high-quality, high-ticket appliances, often from little-known manufacturers.

Kitchen Islands

Clean Cabinet Fixtures — Or None At All

The kitchen island is the mainstay of every modern kitchen. If you have floor space in your kitchen for an island, it’s highly recommended. Why? Even if islands are not your thing, research shows that home buyers expect their kitchens to have islands. So your kitchen will be at a disadvantage at the time of sale if it does not have a kitchen island. Go figure.

For any modern kitchen, cabinet fixtures are minimized. Sleek and straight are the orders of the day. Fixture-free cabinets are possible, too, and in many cases are highly desired. But consider usabilty. Does your desire for aesthetics outweigh your need to easily grasp and open cabinet doors?

Glass Cabinet Fronts

Cabinet-Depth Refrigerators

It’s simple to order clear or translucent glass for your cabinet doors instead of solid. Doing so allows you to add incabinet lighting for even more dramatic effect.

Another way to make your modern kitchen design even smoother, sleeker, and free of bothersome obstacles: Embed your refrigerator. Cabinet-depth fridges are specially pared-down to meet the edge of your cabinets at two feet and twenty-seven inches.

Glass Tile Backsplashes One benefit of installing glass tile backsplashes: eco-friendliness. Glass tile backsplashes are a tad bit more difficult and expensive to install for the doit-yourselfer, but with the range of colors and luminosity, they look fantastic.

Monochromatic Kitchen Colors lights for lower-hanging pendant lights that better-illuminate your work surface.

High-End, Exotic Countertop Materials Pendant lighting is guaranteed to Why settle for laminate or solid-surgive your kitchen a cool, contemporary Pendant Lighting

look. Swap out existing 1980s-style can

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face counters when you can choose more

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durable, beautiful and, well, pedigreed countertops? Corian Quartz and Caesarstone are two types of engineered stone, granite-like materials. Or choose the ever-popular slab granite. But if you want to go truly exotic, try concrete, paper, stainless steel or even zinc.

The names of some featured paint colors from Sherwin Williams just about sums it up: Austere Gray and Super White. Black, as well as grays and whites of all shades, rule in the monochromatic kitchen paint scheme.


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Creating An Outdoor Room Ideas For An Outside Living Space • By Tonya Lee

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hen it comes to creating an outdoor room or living space, you can spend as much — or as little — as your budget allows. But regardless of your decorating budget, there are certain design ideas that you should incorporate when creating your outdoor room. The good news is that most of these don’t cost a dime. When creating an outdoor room, the most important thing to remember is that it should be an extension of your home. You should approach creating and decorating this space the same way you would an interior room, keeping the style and the function of this area true to you and your home. Beyond that, the sky is the limit. However, when defining an outdoor room or entertaining area, keep these steps and tips in mind to enhance your outdoor living space.

Define Your Purpose The first thing you need to decide is what you want to do in your outdoor space. This will help you plan and avoid a lot of future problems. Plus, it will help you decide how much space you will need. For example, if you want to be able cook or grill, it may make sense to set up your area with an easy path to your indoor kitchen, or choose a placement for your outdoor area with access to gas and/or water lines. Of course, if you want to create a place for an outdoor serenity garden, you will want to choose a location away from the neighbor’s playground equipment.

Choose A Location For Your Space The location should fit the purpose of your outdoor room. Some other things to consider when choosing your room’s location are the types of plants you want to use, how much shade you or your plants will or will not need, water drainage in the area, and more. Be sure to also consider existing lighting. continued on page 69

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Small Kitchen Remodeling Small Kitchen Remodel Is DIY-Friendly And Low-Cost

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mall kitchen remodeling is a game all by itself. With larger kitchen spaces, you have certain freedoms that you don’t have with smaller spaces. But, by the same token, those larger spaces can make for a less effective environment for the cook. If you have a small kitchen space, you may be envious of homeowners who have large spaces to work with. Don’t be! You have many advantages that they do not have.

What Is A Small Kitchen? Definitions vary according to the homeowner, house, region and even the country. But generally, the classic 10’ x 10’ kitchen (100 square feet or less) is considered the benchmark of small kitchen sizing. Dimensions matter, too. An unusually

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narrow kitchen might still be considered a small kitchen. For example, a kitchen space that is 9 ft. by 14 ft., or 126 sq. ft. (give or take) might still be considered a small kitchen.

Remodeling The small kitchen can often represent the “tipping point” in the DIY vs. hire-apro question. Because you’re dealing with smaller spaces, renovating a small kitchen can be more manageable. For example, laying 80 square feet of ceramic tile might be only a weekend project for the small kitchen; laying 375 square feet of tile can be a huge hassle requiring the services of professional tile-setters. Is the small kitchen remodel the same as a big kitchen remodel, except on a smaller canvas? In some ways, yes. But there are surprising differences that you

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should be aware of. Take these steps when remodeling your small kitchen.

Appropriate Design The most common layouts for small kitchens are: one-wall, galley or corridor, U-shaped and L-shaped. Most small kitchens are longer than they are wide (though there are many square-shaped small kitchens). But these are great designs that provide you with lots of opportunities. Forget placing a kitchen island. It won’t happen. Instead, learn to embrace designs that are right for these smaller spaces.

Making It Easy Big double sinks or farmhouse sinks eat up valuable counter space. Also, think long and hard about whether you really want bigger appliances. Side-by-side fridges are great, but you want to conserve

width when it comes to the appliances. More economical dishwashers are available, too. If you have any out-of-kitchen area available (i.e., can you put in a pantry around the corner?), use that for items you don’t use frequently, such as canned goods or appliances.

Determining Values You really need to make hard choices. Is storage a number one priority? Then you’ll need to maximize kitchen cabinets at the cost of appliances. Do you really want a breakfast bar? It’s possible, but you may need to sacrifice counter space for cooking to get that breakfast bar. There is nothing wrong with any of this. It’s your kitchen; you’re allowed to make these choices as you wish.


Outdoor Space

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Define Your Space Several elements should come together to define a space when there is none. For example, you can easily create the illusion of walls and intimacy by the placement of screens, plantings, pavers or furniture. Since a space really begins to feel like a room when it has a surface other than bare concrete or grass, begin with flooring. And flooring can be simple — an outdoor rug, handmade pavers or gravel can work just fine. Don’t be dissuaded by a small space. Many times, a smaller area is easier to design than a large one. If you are dealing with a large area, unless you need outdoor dinner seating for 20, consider dividing it into more intimate zones.

Consider Your Elements Traffic noise? Mask it with a water feature or tabletop fountain. Cold climate? A fire pit can extend the usage of your outdoor room for

many more months. Need more lighting? String lights and lanterns are super inexpensive, and will add a nice glow to your evenings. Plants are an inexpensive way to hide something you don’t want to see, and can also help block noise. Add furnishings and decor wisely. Don’t spend money on things you don’t need. For example, candles melt when hit with full sun. Umbrellas are useless if your area is in shade or is covered. And if you don’t intend to serve large meals outside, you don’t need a dining table. I recommend you avoid the prepackaged furniture sets that often have pieces you end up not needing. Also, be honest about how much time you are willing to invest in maintenance. Most people don’t have the time or energy for the upkeep of outdoor fabrics and upholstery, huge water ponds, plants that need constant pruning or other high-maintenance features.

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Out With The Old, In With The New By Calvin Tyler

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ecause I was raised on television, I have a certain idea of what it means to be an adult. Most of it deals with what kind of place I should call home. How is the light supposed to shine in through the windows? How high should the ceilings be? So many of the houses built during my generation don’t have the character and appeal of the house in the Steve Martin classic Father of the Bride. I just couldn’t see forcing myself to exist in a world where “popcorn” ceilings and aluminum windows were considered the norm. My wonderful wife, whom I’m way too lucky to ever admit that I deserve, has always shared in my passion for older homes. We both always wanted a white, wooden house. This may have something

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to do with us both growing up on Steve Martin movies. So, when the opportunity came up to buy her grandfather’s wooden house, we jumped head-first into the shallow end. To give a little backstory to the house, I should first tell you about the man who lived there for 50 years. Robert “Bob” Waldmeier ran Keith’s Pawn Shop downtown, and the man was a tinkerer. There wasn’t anything old Bob couldn’t fix. He’d take worn out and beaten down clocks, tinker with them, and have them running like new.

Behold it's glory!


Boring original kitchen.

Diamonds are forever.

Told you it was bright.

His talents stretched all the way from jewelry to automotive. He’d collect things from the side of the street that others had tossed away and make them beautiful again. And, just like me, he was cheap. “Why buy it when you can ‘Bob’ it?” has become a family saying. Grandpa Bob fixed things in the most creative ways possible. He used duct tape, rope, glue, fencing wire — anything he had lying around and would enable him to avoid a trip to the hardware store was used in inspiring ways that would leave even the ultimate self-proclaimed “coonasses” with a single tear rolling down the side of their faces. Bob bought the house from professor A. LaGrange, who had a high school named after him. It’s rumored to be the first home in Lake Charles to have indoor plumbing. In the course of Bob’s 50-year tenure as a resident in this historic gem, there were times, as with anything old, when mechanical problems needed some fixing. And, man oh man, did Bob do some fixing. When we first moved into the old place, we ordered digital cable, thinking it would be easy. Nothing is ever easy. I was at work when the cable guy arrived at 8:30 am. Imagine my surprise when I pull into my driveway at 4:30 pm to see the cable truck was still there, and in my yard were two three-feet-high stacks of coaxial cable that had to be removed from underneath my house. Apparently, there were more cable splitters — they take one incoming cable line and split it into 2, 3 or even 4 different outgoing cable lines — under my threebedroom house than there are in most apartment complexes. The biggest question the technician had came when he walked me to a bundled rat’s nest of cable splitters, pulled out a wire with tape over it and asked, “where does this go?” I looked on the tape and saw that the words “garage apartment” had been scribbled on it. The garage apartment, three doors down from my house, belonged to my wife’s uncle and had been in the family for decades — since the time Bob purchased it. Old Bob had been secretly feeding the garage apartment with free cable for years through underground piping. I asked if it was necessary to discontinue this service; the technician assured me that he had to cut it off. Later that evening, I heard a knock at the door and opened it to find my wife’s uncle standing there with a smile on his face. “Cable guy came by today?” he asked. I answered, “yeah,” and we both

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laughed about how funny it was that we were having this conversation. The house was riddled with stories like this — stories about little things Bob did. I could go on all day about my many projects dealing with Bob’s “fixes,” and maybe some day I’ll even write a book about the old place. But today, I have to pick one home improvement project to talk about. So, let’s get to it. The home improvement project I was most proud of was the renovation of the home’s flooring. All the original flooring had been covered with carpet and linoleum, linoleum being in the kitchen and carpet being everywhere else other than the bathrooms. At one time, carpet from The Majestic Hotel (built in 1906 on the corner of Bilbo and Pujo and later demolished to make way for something less majestic) graced the living room and foyer. Carrera marble from the Magnolia Building, removed during remodeling in the ‘60s, still remains in the home’s main bathroom. Like I said before: Bob was a tinkerer. We’d seen signs all over the historic Charpentier district for Rhino Renovators and we decided to hire the crew of Randy LeJeune (owner and operator of Rhino) to come in and refinish the floors in the dining room, sitting room and foyer. LeJeune is a man with a true passion for restoring the historic homes of the downtown area. He knows they’re timeless, and that, if his work is done right, the homes he restores will still be admired another 100 years from now. His attention to detail is phenomenal. He’s even gone as far as to find a company

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Noah's house on The Notebook.

that reuses materials from other projects and demolished structures to maintain authenticity. We couldn’t have been happier with our decision. LeJeune listened to us; he maintained the original character the floors had earned over the years Bob spent repairing them, while bringing them to a magnificent finish. The work of his crew and some Internet research I did gave me the idea and confidence to tackle the refinishing of the floors in the kitchen myself. Once I began demolition, I discovered not just one layer of linoleum but four. Four layers of this stuff, all from different time periods, covered the original wood floor I wanted so desperately to get to, and none was willing to leave without a fight. A friend and I pulled and scraped for two long days to remove the linoleum from my kitchen, some of which I’m pretty sure was of the asbestos era. If products containing asbestos are disturbed, tiny asbestos fibers are released into

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the air. When asbestos fibers are breathed in, they can get trapped in the lungs and remain there for a long time. Over time, the fibers can cause scarring and inflammation, which can affect breathing and lead to serious health problems. When there is removal of materials that might have asbestos, it’s usually necessary to relocate at least some residents of the home temporarily. Typically, the part of the building from which asbestos is being removed has to be sealed off in order to prevent contamination of the other areas. Methods of sealing off an area often involve the use of polyethylene film, duct tape and negative air pressure machines fitted with HEPA filters. The idea

is that the contained area is pulling fresh air in so as not to allow asbestos fibers into the surrounding environment. After we carefully removed all linoleum and scrubbed the area of any dangerous contaminants, I noticed that a natural gas valve poking through the floor had become faulty. The faint smell of natural gas began to fill the room while I, simultaneously, filled with panic. Being the doofus I am, and never wanting to show my wife how scared I am (can I get an “amen,” gentlemen?), I assured her this would be an easy fix. My “simple fix” involved quite a bit of “Bob-ing” after I checked my supplies and chose a container of Play-Doh and plumber’s glue. Shoving the Play-Doh into the valve outlet clogged the opening and sealed the leak. The plumber’s glue was just a formality to ensure that the Play-Doh stayed in place. My wife gave the eyebrow of “yeah, that’s gonna last,” and I translated it as a job well done, then left to pick up a floor sander from Stine Lumber Co.’s rental department. I returned to a gas-free work environment with the tool that brings immediate gratification. The floor sander is a wonderful contraption that, with the proper finesse, will make you feel instantly better about your hardwood floors. Start against the wall, put that baby in gear, and pull it backwards in a smooth and consistent motion, making sure to follow the grains in the wood. It was so exhilarating I decided to go ahead and sand the floors on the back porch, too!


Did I mention all this was done on impulse only a few days before Thanksgiving? No? Well, I demolished a kitchen just days before the biggest holiday that requires the use of an entire kitchen. I’m not that smart. We covered the floors with a roll of outdoor carpet that I found in storage underneath the house. Again — I’m not that bright. We were told by numerous family members that there would be no way to bring the original wood floors in the kitchen brought back to life due to decades of typical kitchen wear-and-tear. And, though I’ll never admit it, they were almost right. To hide the water stains, my wife and I decided to go with a painted pattern look that would be bright and fun enough to match the rest of our eclectic stylings elsewhere in the house. So, after the holidays, Mrs. Me went about applying the primer to the bare wood, but soon found herself in the middle of the room, painted into an island. It was a novice mistake meant only for a Thursday night sitcom that left me sitting in the dining room talking with my silly girl until the paint dried and she was free to move. She applied a second coat of primer and three coats of a bright blue outdoor porch paint (to sustain heavy traffic) as our base color. Not to follow with the same hilarious mistake twice, she did all this by starting in the farthest corner first and working her way back and out of the room. This time, we were able to enjoy our newly installed digital cable from the comfort of the living room while waiting for the paint to dry. From there, I took to the task of drawing out the pattern, which was that of a diamond, by finding the center of the room, using a chalk line to create a series of straight lines and then bringing in a ruler and pencil to draw the outer lines of my diamonds. Please note: cutting out a piece of cardboard is very helpful when you’re trying to determine your pattern’s size and shape. Not having any cardboard lying around, I used a folded towel. My darling wife then proceeded to free-hand the contrasting color into my pencil lines. (No painter’s tape was harmed during the remodel of this kitchen). Thus, she proved, once again, that she is more goddess than mortal. All of this took an agonizing three days to complete. Three coats of weatherproof sealer later, we had done an amazing feat. We had a kitchen floor that reflected what we both thought it meant to be young adults, living it up and creating fond memories. We did it. This was the house that could beat any of those old boring shacks in the movies. This was a house that said, “I’m not just a house. I am the house.” We have since, regrettably, sold the house and moved away. The decision to leave her warm and welcoming walls haunts me every day. It’s my greatest regret. Even knowing that I needed to part with my home so that I could pursue other ventures that would ultimately lead me down the path to finally finding my passion for writing, still stings. But the memories we shared there — building decks, refinishing floors, my wife painting our sons’ superhero bedroom —

will be with us forever. There’s just a certain type of magic that exists in places of that era. I, for one, believe that the burden of maintaining such a place is well worth it for the experience. You didn’t really think The Notebook was about the romance between a man and a woman, did you?

Antique Woods Antique Woods of Louisiana, located in Sunset, La., has been in operation since 1992. Shawn Burks and his family own the business. The materials used by Antique Woods come mostly from the East Coast, Midwestern and New England regions. Materials are often recovered from old textile mills, train depots and warehouses. Burks says, “We pride ourselves on taking care of our customers and doing what we say we’re going to do. Our passion is learning about the history of our country through its antique construction and rejuvenating the wood that helped build America. We breathe new life into the materials our forefathers used. “We love what we do and devote our lives, and our business, to making our customers’ projects unique and built to last through both modern and traditional building methods.” Antique Woods mills floors to any specification up to 16 inches wide. The store has a wide selection of wood breeds and finishes to choose from. For more info, visit antiquewoodsla. com or call 337-662-2121.

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Beyond Repair What’s To Be Done When A House Is No Longer Worth Saving? • By Brad Goins

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ot far from my home is a house that didn’t make it through Rita. Tattered scraps of bright blue FEMA tarp hang from the house’s roof. There are visible holes in the roof, and almost the entire roof structure at one end of the house has fallen away. Boards are missing from exterior walls. Two windows are covered by weathered sheets of plywood. Still, there’s always at least one light on in the house at night. Two exterior spotlights illuminate the dwelling after sundown. Often a car is parked in the front drive. The lawn is mowed on a regular basis. As battered as the house looks, it

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certainly appears that someone either lives in it or is trying to create the impression that the house is inhabited. Should this house be reported to the powers that be as a potential source of danger to the public? Or should one give the owner the benefit of the doubt since the house is maintained to some degree and may be inhabited?

Approach With Caution Observers shouldn’t be too hasty about getting rid of a house that doesn’t present an obvious public danger. David Robinson, Code Enforcement Supervisor


of the Calcasieu Parish Police Jury, says, “Not all structures that are vacant are condemnable. It’s OK to have a house that’s not lived in.” Good houses can set empty for long periods because the owners have died, the house is tied up in succession or other difficulties have arisen. And Rene Lewis, the city’s Chief Building Inspector, who heads the City of Lake Charles’ work with problem houses, also cautions that inhabited houses that have become shoddy-looking aren’t usually going to be considered public safety problems. If the house is inhabited, with both the power and the water running, “we don’t mess with that,” he says. Calcasieu Parish has a checklist inspectors use to determine whether an uninhabited house is a structural danger to the public. Items on the list include rotting fascia boards and other rotten wood, bad siding and broken windows. The City of Lake Charles looks for similar markers — holes in roofs, broken windows, open doors, termite damage. What City inspectors definitely will not be concerned about are things such as worn-off paint jobs, which are considered cosmetic matters that don’t affect a house’s structure.

Portrait Of A Dying House Josh Clark of How Stuff Works says that houses become structurally unsound after a long period of neglect. Once leaks begin, if they’re not repaired, the water will eventually do serious damage to the wood. This will be complemented by damage to wood by insects. This process goes all the more quickly in warm, humid climates. If the wood is too compromised, the house will no longer be able to support the weight of the roof. Portions of the roof will collapse. If holes in the roof become big enough, holes will appear directly beneath them in the floor. At this point, the house may be nearing the point of collapse. The entire process of decay may take a few years or several decades. Remember, this is a process that occurs in a house that isn’t being attended to at all. The process can be accelerated by things such as shifts in root systems under or near the house, natural disasters, fires, vandalism and other factors. continued www.BestOfSWLA.com

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When Something Needs To Be Done Let’s suppose there’s a house in an unincorporated area that residents think might pose a public hazard. No one is ever seen on the premises; residents don’t know how to reach the owner. Concerned citizens can file a complaint with the Calcasieu Parish Police Jury. (They’d start doing this by calling the number 337-721-3625.) After there’s a complaint, the parish will send an inspector to the house. If he deems it hazardous, he’ll post a notice that the structure is unsafe. The owner of the property will be sent a “courtesy letter” by certified mail. In the letter, he’ll be told either to fix the house and bring it up to code or to make arrangements to have it torn down. Letters are sent by certified mail. Those who sign for the letter have 30 days to fix the house and bring it up to code. If nothing changes after the letter is sent, the house will be inspected a second time, and a plaque stating the property is condemned will be put up. The process of getting to the point where the house exists no more may take 3 to 4 months. The parish will search for the title and mortgage loan. It will send a second certified letter to the owner 45 days before the public hearing on the fate of the house. A public notice on the hearing will appear in the American Press in the 2 weeks before the event. Keep in mind that the hearing is public. Anyone at all can attend and express any opinion about the house and what should be done with it. Sometimes, even at this late date, concerned individuals may appear and ask for more time. If they seem sincere and committed, the Policy Jury may grant the request. If the Policy Jury votes by a majority to do away with the house, bids will be sent out to companies that demolish houses. After a month, the house will be bulldozed. The parish will then undertake various measures to try to obtain payment from property owners for demolition. If these efforts are fruitless, the property will eventually be put up for bid at a tax sale. The process is remarkably similar for houses in the Lake Charles city limits. Lewis says that when house owners sign for a courtesy letter and respond to

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it, “We try to work with most of them.” But if there’s no response, or a commitment to repair turns out to be insincere, it’s the Lake Charles City Council that will eventually vote on the demolition of a structure. The process, from the first letter to the destruction of the house, usually takes 5-6 months.

Trouble At Home One often thinks of these sorts of situations as arising when the owner has moved far away and lost his connection with the area. But Davidson conveys the surprising information that “it happens when the owner lives here.” At times, he says, “Nobody wants to do anything. Nobody wants to spend any money. There’s all kinds of scenarios.” Lewis cites a comparable set of problems. Home owners sometimes get a permit to repair a home then fail to do the work or try to drag it out.

The Role Of Police There’s another housing situation that hasn’t been mentioned but should be. This is the situation that arises when a house that’s no longer inhabited is broken into, taken over and turned into a crack house or a meth lab. A different procedure should be followed in these cases. Citizens should call the police directly. (As Robinson explains, the members of his department don’t wear guns.)

To Report Don’t jump to conclusions about houses. If they don’t seem to pose any danger to the public, let them be. But if you do have serious concerns about a house and think they’re warranted, call Lewis’ office at 491-1294. You can also call the Mayor’s Action Line at 491-1346. If you live outside the limits of an incorporated city, call 337-721-3625 to connect with a code enforcement technician who will help you with your request.


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Don't Buy The Wrong Toilet Some Crappy Features To Avoid

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uying a new toilet may seem like a pretty straightforward proposition: Head to Home Depot, find something on sale, hand over your credit card and wait for delivery. What happens then? Possibly, you spend the next decade with a noisy, uncomfortable, peach-colored commode that blocks your bathroom door. Steer clear of toilet bummers by avoiding these features:

clean and virtually eliminates clogs. But that high-octane power comes with a price: Some pressure-assisted toilets sound like jet engines as they forcefully perform their job. Fortunately, the technology continues to improve as manufacturers tinker with noise control solutions. One model to consider is Niagara Conservation’s Stealth Toilet, which — thanks to a patented hydraulic system — provides a strong, effective flush that is quieter than its competition.

Noisy Flusher

Non-Standard Replacement Parts

There are plenty of positive things to say about pressure-assisted toilets, which account for half of all toilets purchased, according to Consumer Reports. Their brawny but quiet flushing action is water-efficient, helps keep the bowl

Some folks rail against anything that’s merely ordinary, and that can include the hum-drum appearance of the average toilet. But before you plunk down your hard-earned cash for a chill European model with a custom seat and

unusual innards, think about the cost of replacing those parts when they wear out — and they will. Your bathroom remodeling budget will be better spent on a high-quality showerhead or fancy bath towels.

Slamming Lid A toilet lid that bangs closed like a brick is one of those small annoyances that can loom large when it’s the middle of the night or there are little ones around. Look for a toilet with a slowdrop seat that closes gradually, sparing your ears as well as tiny fingers. Some slow-close seats, like the one on Porcher’s Veneto, are also removable, which makes cleaning a snap.

you switch from a standard round toilet to one with an elongated bowl. While many people appreciate their comfort, elongated models can eat up two extra inches of space in your bathroom, potentially blocking drawers, cabinets or the door. Compact models like Eljer’s Diplomat are a happy solution. The Diplomat features an elongated rim that uses the same amount of space as a round front toilet.

Tacky Seat Just as beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, one person’s tacky toilet seat may be another’s objet d’art. But there are some toilet seats that everyone knows are just plain ugly. Please don’t buy one of those, not even for laughs.

Too Long Pull out your measuring tape before

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TYLER N I V L A C Y B

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very year, around this time, there are stories that can take us back to a place when things made perfect sense, but this is not one of those stories. The main ingredients for this particular night in my childhood included Halloween, a few good friends and a cemetery. And not just any old run-of-the-mill cemetery, either. One of the most haunted places in all of the U.S. of A.: Big Woods

Cemetery. Fact: Big Woods Cemetery is located in Edgerly, La., east of Vinton on Hwy. 388. It was founded on October 27, 1827, by Elder Joseph Willis. The oldest marked grave in the cemetery belongs to one Hardy Coward, who died in 1844. Another fun fact is that Big Woods Cemetery is connected to a second burial ground. The other is Antioch Cemetery, and the two at one time were separated by a gate. There is no longer a gate. Now, all that remains is a sign that reads “Children at Play,” which refers to what is known locally as “The Gatekeeper.” When you come to this pass and see nothing, all is fine to continue forth. If you come to this pass and see the shadows of small children dancing between the trees, beware. It is said that people have ignored these warnings — disregarding them as simple shadows from the trees — and were never seen again. It is also said that glowing green balls of light can be seen floating along the road outside of the cemetery, dogs appear and vanish right before your very eyes, and an old man wanders around that no one, no matter how hard they try, can ever catch up with. As you drive down the long and narrow road leading up to the cemetery’s entryway, there is an incredible feeling of age and emptiness. Large pine trees stand silently along the road, creating a natural wall between you and what awaits. When you enter this “resting place,” the sense of desolation amplifies. The large pine trees seen from the road continue back to surround the cemetery, but seeing the trees from this side causes one to consider that maybe these trees play another role, not unlike those of a prison: This fence is designed to keep something in. My first real scare of the night came on the gravel road that separates the two graveyards. I stood there with my three closest friends, staring through to the other side of the fence, each of us waiting on the other to respond first, when my best friend, Matt, broke the silence. “What’s that?” We looked to the ground where he was pointing, but saw nothing. Even as we looked back to Matt with skepticism, he continued to point. “There it is again!” Still having seen nothing, I gave Matt a pat on the back and insisted to the group that we move forward into the dark of Antioch Cemetery. Janelle refused to cross over to the other side, and she begged her boyfriend, Ron, to remain behind, to which he agreed, despite the fact that Matt and I were calling him a wimp for doing so. Matt and I told the sissies bye and braved onward and forward across the pass. Antioch Cemetery seems like only a continuation of Big Woods during

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the day, as both cemeteries are over 100 years old, and both share the aesthetic of gravesites fallen and broken due to the destruction of time. But at night, in the dark, this place feels like a different planet. There is no breeze. Just the smell of pine acting as an overwhelming reminder that you are now trapped among the dead that once walked the earth as you do now. Standing next to the treeline was not an option for me and Matt, so we agreed that the “safest” place in the cemetery would be towards the center, among the broken headstones just beyond the dilapidated mausoleums that resembled tiny haunted mansions. Getting there would prove to be a lot harder than it sounds. This adventure would test our friendship and bring Matt and I closer than ever before. We soldiered forth, shoulder-to-shoulder (literally), with only the dim light of the moon and our one and only flashlight to guide the way. Being in a cemetery at night warrants a bit of fear all by itself. Think of all of the movies you’ve seen in which you were made to believe that cemeteries are dangerous and scary places to be. But I would be lying if I said that standing in the middle of a graveyard on Halloween isn’t exciting. Secretly, Matt and I both knew this was a scary situation to be in. At one point, Matt looked at me and with a straight face said “I ain’t ‘fraid of no ghost.”

THE LAUGHING

slowed as he approached the structure, and stopped altogether when he was standing directly in front of the sealed tomb. He turned to me and I gave him the signal that he was doing a “fantastic job” with the hand gesture known universally as the thumbs-up. Matt stepped back a bit and moved to the right corner of the mausoleum to see if maybe someone was hiding. I noticed him trip and almost fall over, which caused me to prematurely accept the fact that my buddy was as good as dead and that I would be next.

These kinds of happy thoughts wouldn’t last much longer. When our laughter died down, another sound took its place: the faint giggle of a child. We looked around, hoping to see that Janelle and Ron were playing a horribly cruel joke on us, and in their defense, we definitely deserved it for our “sissy” comments to them earlier. The laughter moved around in the distance from grave to grave as we tried to track it with the flashlight. Matt stepped out from our post to pursue what he knew to be Janelle “bouncing” sound from behind a lone mausoleum standing amid a section of unkempt grass, and suggested that we check it out. I declined the offer, as appealing as it might’ve been, preferring instead to wait out in the open where I had a 360 degree view of

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my surroundings. He shook his head with disappointment and went on with his mission. The laughing slowed as he approached the structure, and stopped altogether when he was standing directly in front of the sealed tomb. He turned to me and I gave him the signal that he was doing a “fantastic job” with the hand gesture known universally as the thumbs-up. Matt stepped back a bit and moved to the right corner of the mausoleum to see if maybe someone was hiding. I noticed him trip and almost fall over, which caused me to prematurely accept the fact that my buddy was as good as dead and that I would be next. My heart began beating again when Matt stood tall and started investigating through the ankle-high grass to determine what might have been the reason for his fall. The look of horror that fell on his face was what caused me to finally break away from my position to satisfy my own curiosity about what he had seen. Standing there, looking down at the ground, Matt and I knew we shared the same fear. Beneath our feet, beside the mausoleum, were two flat headstones. Both displayed the death dates for two children of the same age, and both were dated to have died on the same day — of the same year. This was eerie, no doubt, and it was then that we decided that we had accomplished everything we had set out to do that evening. It was time to leave. As we passed our original high ground, we saw, in the moon’s dim light, Ron standing in the distance by the treeline, near where we had entered Antioch, and he was waving us over. Oh, how thankful we were to be done with this mess and heading back to the pass that would bring us to Matt’s car — which would then ultimately take us to the place where we could get some needed tacos. We saw Ron walk into the pass and disappear beyond the trees. Ron was a country boy, originally from Tennessee, and he knew his way around most outdoor landscapes. When Matt and I entered the pass and didn’t see him, we figured that either (a) he was hiding in the treeline and would jump out at any moment to scare us, or (b) had already headed back to Matt’s car. When we made it through the pass without having to beat up our dear friend, we assumed the latter and continued to make our way through Big Woods Cemetery, talking the whole way about

what might have been the cause of what we witnessed, and the fact that we now knew that there is a valid reason for keeping the public out of cemeteries past nightfall. When we arrived at Matt’s car and saw Ron and Janelle leaning on the hood laughing at us, it appeared obvious that they were the culprits behind our paranormal experience. Matt and I gave them a stern talking-to about how their antics hadn’t been funny, and how Matt almost died tripping over headstones, and how being in a graveyard at night was no time for childish behavior (I know that last part sounds silly now, but not telling you how our teenage thought processes worked would be a terrible disservice). After we chewed Ron and Janelle out, we all hopped in the car and exited Big Woods. On our way to a certain fast food chain that offers premium tacos at an incredibly fair price, Ron and Janelle confessed to putting a plan together that would scare us, but admitted that they were, themselves, too frightened to go through with it and just walked back to the car. Matt and I told them what we had experienced, and they said we must have only been hearing things. They, too, had heard noises that turned out to be only the most cliche thing ever: a black cat wandering about the cemetery. We all shared in a much-needed laugh, and when the laughter died back down I thanked Ron for being “man enough” to come through the pass and signal that it was time to go, but that it hadn’t been necessary because Matt and I had been way ahead of him in that regard. After hearing that we had seen him, Ron just sat there. Just for the record: I had never seen Ron so still or quiet. After a short time, Janelle spoke up and disclosed to Matt and me that it couldn’t have been Ron that we had seen, because neither she nor Ron had ever left the car. We all graduated high school the following year, but never spoke of the Halloween night we shared together in Big Woods Cemetery. So, when venturing off into the great night of Hallow’s Eve, remember that you, too, might find yourself confronted with what could remain with you forever. Anyone reading this with any tales or questions regarding the paranormal should contact the SWLA Paranormal Investigations grouphttp://www.swlaparanormal.org/.

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HAUNTED HAPPENINGS Lost Hollows Haunted Attraction The Lost Hollows Haunted Attraction takes place on Fridays and Saturdays at The Lost Hollows, 3301 E. Prien Lake Road in Lake Charles. The hayride to trails starts at 6 pm, and trails open at 7 pm or sundown. Admission is $5 for the children’s Spooky Timbers Trail, and $15 for the Deadly Pines Trail. VIP tickets can be purchased for an additional $5 over ticket price. For more information, email info@thelosthollows.com.

Central School Spook House Friends of Central School invites the public to experience another side of local history by bringing the family to the Central School Arts and Humanities Center’s Halloween Spook House, located at 809 Kirby St., on Sunday, Oct. 27, 5:30-8 pm. Upon entering Central School, visitors will be guided into small groups to navigate the third floor’s family-friendly haunted house. Creepy characters, evil witches and mad scien-

tists will lurk around every corner. Each child will receive a trick or treat bag along with a sweet treat and can enjoy getting their faces painted in the Benjamin W. Mount Auditorium. Come dressed up in your Halloween best.While there is no admission into the Central School Haunted House, donations to the Friends of Central School are welcome. The Friends group will be selling commemorative bricks, Christmas ornaments and TShirts (celebrating the historic building’s centennial anniversary) at the event to help fund and support improvement projects at Central School Arts and Humanities Center. For more information or to volunteer in the haunted house, call Matt Young at 375-7373.

USS Orleck Haunted Ship The Halloween Haunted Ship aboard the USS Orleck is open to the public on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays. Gates open at 6 pm, with ship hatches opening at 7. Ticket sales close at 11 pm. General admission is $12; a $25 fast pass is available. The Orleck is docked at 604 N. Enterprise Blvd. For more info, call 214-7447 or email info@ussorleck.org. www.BestOfSWLA.com

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KELLEY EXHIBIT AT HISTORIC CITY HALL The City of Lake Charles will host “Some Thoughts about Perfection,” an exhibition by Heather Ryan Kelley, at the Historic City Hall Arts and Cultural Center. The exhibition will open Oct. 18 with a meet-and-greet session from 5:30-8 pm, and will hang through Jan. 4. Vanitas paintings depict subjects whose presence is fleeting: wealth, knowledge and youth. Traditionally, the paintings are filled with fragile objects such as soap bubbles, Missing The Boat flowers and fruit; and with objects that when used leave little or nothing behind, like candles, pipes and musical instruments. The paintings are about the brevity and fragility of life, and are challenges to the viewer to ponder what is of lasting importance. “The works in this exhibition incorporate traditional vanitas symbols, but I am especially interested in developing a personal vocabulary of vanitas imagery in this on-going body of work,” says Kelley. “My images include dice, midden heaps, trophies, origami, exhibition postcards and studio debris. Several of the works derive from the vivid metaphors that describe the inevitable result of striving for perfection: missing the boat or falling short of the mark.” Kelley is a professor of art at McNeese State University, where she teaches painting. Historic City Hall is open Monday-Friday, 10 am-5 pm, and Saturday, 10 am-2 pm. Admission to the arts and cultural center is free, but donations are gladly accepted. For more info, call 491-9147 or visit cityoflakecharles.com.

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LOUISIANA THEATRE FESTIVAL The 2013 Louisiana Theatre Festival will be held Saturday, Nov. 9, 9 am-3 pm, at the Central School of the Arts & Humanities Center. The festival is designed to provide young people with acting and technical theatre training, performance opportunities and college audition skills. Theatre professionals, representatives from theatre organizations, and college professors from around the state will conduct classes. Students, grades 6-12, from all over the state are invited to attend. No experience is necessary. Fee is $30 per student, which includes lunch. For registration information, call 377-2571 or visit LTF.cc. Pictured above are Jill Engel, John Paul Primeaux and Abigail Guillory reviewing scripts for the 2013 Louisiana Theatre Festival.


ITINERANT THEATRE PRESENTS JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR Itinerant Theatre will stage its production of Jesus Christ Superstar, by Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice, at Rosa Hart Theatre in the Lake Charles Civic Center. Performances are scheduled for Friday-Saturday, Nov. 8-9, 7:30 pm. The iconic rock opera is a retelling of the age-old tale expressed entirely in musical form. Propelled by a stirring score, it illuminates the power of the human spirit with a passion that goes straight to the heart. Advance tickets are $20, $25 and $35. Ticket prices will be $5 higher if purchased on the day of the performance. Tickets are available online at ticketmaster.com; at any Ticketmaster outlet, including the Civic Center box office; or by calling the Civic Center box office at 491-1432. For more information, call 436-6275, visit itineranttheatre.com, or keep up with the group on Facebook or Twitter.

ARCATTACK SCIENCE SHOW Lutcher Theatre in Orange will present ArcAttack, a science-oriented children’s educational show, on Friday, Oct. 18. Performances are scheduled for 9:30 and 11:30 am. The show will take students (and adults) on an interactive journey of discovery. It is designed to prompt students to learn about Nikola Tesla and his contributions to the birth of commercial electricity, discover Delia Derbyshire and how music and technology are related, and develop an understanding of machines and robotics. Combining their love of music along with exploring concepts such

as electricity, voltage and current, magnetism, robotics, lightning, and tackling complex issues like engineering, the crew of ArcAttack makes these concepts accessible for school audiences of all ages. ArcAttack is a Lutcher Incredible Kids Event and designed to meet Texas and Louisiana State learning criteria, making it suitable for school field trips. However, all Lutcher Incredible Kids Events are open to the public, and the Lutcher Theatre welcomes home school and preschool groups and families. Tickets are $4, and may be purchased by calling 409-886-5535.

ACTS PRESENTS SECRET GARDEN Artists Civic Theatre and Studio continues its production of The Secret Garden with performances scheduled for Oct. 18-19 at 7:30 pm, and Oct. 20 at 3 pm, at 1 Reid St. Theatre. The Secret Garden, written by Sylvia Ashby, was adapted from Frances Hodgson Burnett’s classic novel. Tickets are $20 for adults, and $10 for students. Tickets are available online at actstheatre.com, and are also available at the Lake Charles Civic Center Box Office, Lakeshore Medic Pharmacy or Moss Bluff Flower and Gift. For More information, call 433-ACTS.

JCTV TOUR CONCERT AT LCCC Secret Place Ministries will continue their JCTV Tour with a concert featuring Press Play and Manic Drive, with special guests Silverline and Jonathan Thulin, and guest speaker Sean Park. The concert will take place Nov. 5 at the Lake Charles Civic Center at 6:30 pm. General admission is $13, and VIP tickets are $35 (includes early admission, meet-and-greet, and T-shirt). For more information, visit secretplaceproductions.com.

WIND SYMPHONY CONCERT A wind symphony concert will take place Oct. 17, 7:30 pm, in the Shearman Fine Arts Theatre on the McNeese campus. For more information, call 475-5000.

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SHANGRI LA SCARECROW FESTIVAL

ARTSFEST 2013 ArtsFest will take place Saturday, Oct. 26, 10 am-2 pm, in the Lake Charles Civic Center Coliseum. The event, hosted annually by the Arts Council of SWLA and the City of Lake Charles, fosters an interest in learning by offering hands-on art projects that educate children on each year’s theme. This year’s theme is Fairytales, Myths & Legends. Each booth will allow children to create art projects about local legends and myths from around the world. There will be a variety of art projects and activities available, including painting, drawing, crafts, sculpture, face painting and a hands-on pottery station. The ArtsFest stage will offer live music, performances and educational demonstrations. Local businesses and organizations will host each art booth, and children will be able to take their projects home with them. Children are encouraged to come dressed in their Halloween costume and to participate in the annual ArtsFest Costume Contest, which will award prizes to children with the most creative costume. Winners of the ArtsFest Art Contest, which has been accepting entries from SWLA schools for several weeks, will be announced at the event as well. For more information, call the Arts Council office at 439-2787, or visit artsandhumanitiesswla.org.

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Shangri La Botanical Garden and Nature Center’s Scarecrow Festival will take place through Nov. 9. Visitors will enjoy fall flowers and autumn decorations in addition to an array of unique scarecrows designed by local businesses, schools, churches, families, groups and individuals. Ranging from funny to festive, dozens of scarecrows will line the walkways, along with hundreds of pumpkins, transforming the gardens into an autumn paradise. Scarecrow designs include everything from traditional scarecrows to entire scarecrow scenes featuring groups of characters. Visitors are invited to vote for their favorite scarecrow and to guess the weight of a giant pumpkin on display in the garden. Prizes for the most popular scarecrows will be awarded at the Autumn Fair, which concludes the Scarecrow Festival on Nov. 9. The visitor who makes the closest guess to the weight of a giant pumpkin at Shangri La will win four tickets to the “How the Grinch Stole Christmas,” playing at the Lutcher Theater on Nov. 16. Autumn Fair is a family-friendly event with a wide variety of crafts, fun and games for children of all ages. A new event for this year is the Adam’s Bayou Hayride. Throughout the day, families will have an opportunity to take a staff-guided hay wagon ride through areas of Shangri La not traditionally open for public visitation and enjoy the late season allure of the bayou. Hayrides will leave from the Children’s Garden three times each hour from 10 am-4 pm. Located at 2111 West Park Ave. in Orange, Shangri La is open to the public Tuesday-Saturday, 9 am-5 pm. For more information, visit shangrilagardens.org.

ARTS, CRAFTS FAIR The Country Club Arts and Crafts Fair will take place Oct. 18-19 at St. Luke Simpson United Methodist Church. Hours are 9 am-5 pm Friday, and 9 am-3 pm Saturday. Admission is free. For more information, call 474-1500 or email stlukesimpson@yahoo.com.

ROLLER DERBY DOUBLE HEADER The Lafitte’s Ladies Acadiana Double Header roller derby event will take place Oct. 26 at The Grindhouse, located at 932 Enterprise St., Suite C. Doors open at 6 pm, and the game begins at 7 pm. Admission for adults is $12 in advance, and $15 at the door. Admission for children younger than 10 is $6.


NANCY MELTON EXHIBIT The Children in Motion Art Show, an exhibit featuring the latest collection of works by local artist Nancy Melton, will be on display at the Historic City Hall Cultural Center Oct. 18 through Jan. 4. An opening reception will be held Oct. 18, 5:30-8 pm, on the first floor of the cultural center. The exhibit will include over 40 watercolor and acrylic paintings inspired by the playfulness, energy and wonder of childhood. The paintings capture a variety of scenes and subjects, from little ones swimming at the beach to tiny tot ballerinas performing on stage. For more information about Melton, visit nancymelton.photoreflect.com. To request a commission, email her at nmelton@suddenlink.net.

FOURNET MEMORIAL DEDICATION The City of Lake Charles and the Mayor’s Committee for the First Lieutenant Douglas B. Fournet Memorial will hold a dedication ceremony for the memorial on Saturday, Nov. 9, at 11 am, at Veterans Memorial Park, located on Veterans Memorial Parkway. Fournet, a native of Lake Charles, was awarded the Medal of Honor posthumously in April of 1970 for his act of sacrifice during the Vietnam War. The memorial will be the centerpiece of a redesign of the entry area of Veterans Memorial Park. In addition to the Memorial statue, new additions to the entrance will include a gateway entrance, two arbors and new pavers. Fournet’s family members will attend, and a reception will be held immediately following the ceremony in the Contraband Room of the Lake Charles Civic Center.

COMMUNITY CLINIC FUNDRAISER The Calcasieu Community Clinic will hold its second annual Wine Down: Vino 101 wine and food tasting fundraiser Wednesday, Oct. 23, at the Lake Charles Country Club. The event will kick off at 5:30 pm with a champagne social, followed by wine and food samplings beginning at 6 pm. Participants can enjoy a variety of wine choices along with complimentary food. Wine expert Nathaniel Allured, with Republic National Distributing Company’s wine division, will offer numerous tips on wine selection and enjoyment. Door prizes will be given away throughout the evening. Proceeds will benefit the Calcasieu Community Clinic, which provides needed medical services and pharmaceuticals to more than 2,700 underinsured citizens living in the area. Tickets are $45, and are available at www.ablacktieaffair.org, or at The Wine Store (4070 Nelson Rd.) and Healthy Image Marketing (836 University Dr.) in Lake Charles. Tables of eight are available for reservation. For more information, call 478-8650.

WCCH HEALTH FAIR West Calcasieu Cameron Hospital, in partnership with the Cameron Parish Library, will hold a free community health fair in Hackberry Saturday, Oct. 26, 7-11 am, at the Hackberry Multi-Purpose Building at 986 Main St. A variety of free health screenings will be offered, including lipid profile (LDL and HDL cholesterol), blood pressure, blood glucose and prostate specific antigen (PSA) blood test for men over 40. Representatives from several health and civic agencies will be on hand to provide information on living a healthy lifestyle. A six-hour fast is required for all screenings other than blood pressure. For more information, call 528-4735.

GINGERBREAD CONTEST ENTRIES OPEN Entry forms are now available for the annual Gingerbread House Contest, to be held at noon on Saturday, Dec. 7, in conjunction with the Lake Charles Christmas Lighting Festival. Entry deadline is Wednesday, Nov. 6. Entries must be delivered to the Convention and Visitors Bureau Friday, Dec. 6, 1-4:30 pm. To register, contact Shanna Landry at 337-436-9588, or register online at visitlakecharles.org/register.

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REEL TALK

duane bergeron

Gravity

Accidents • Wrongful Death • Serious Personal Injury Criminal, Domestic Law Cases

Larry A. Roach (1932-2003) Barry A. Roach • Larry A. Roach, Jr. Fred C. "Bubba" LeBleu • David M. Hudson

2917 Ryan St. • Lake Charles (337) 433-8504 • Fax (337) 433-3196

“Most Wanted List” The FBI’s “Ten Most Wanted List” has always been interesting to me. I have glanced at the posters on the wall of the Post Office many times. It all started in 1949 when a reporter from the International News Service wrote a story about the “toughest guys” wanted by the FBI. In response, the FBI gave ten names of wanted criminals. That article created quite a stir. J. Edgar Hoover was so pleased with the publicity that he began the “Ten Most Wanted Fugitives” in March of 1950. The FBI’s “Ten Most Wanted List” is now posted on the Internet through the FBI’s web site (www.fbi.gov). Millions of people can now study all the details of the list through their home computer. There is even a list that specializes in the “Ten Most Wanted Terrorists.” Do you realize that all of us could have a different kind of “most wanted” tag put upon our head? Who puts that tag upon us? None other than the Creator of the universe. He is not out to “get us” because we have committed some criminal act. He is seeking us because He wants a relationship with us. A personal relationship. God seeks us out because He loves us. Jesus said it like this, “I have come to seek and to save the lost.” (Luke 19:10) It is difficult for most of us to imagine and to comprehend, but it is the clear teaching of God’s Word: Almighty God loves you without any conditions or strings attached. He loves you and wants to be a part of your life. You are “most wanted” by Him. You are invited to worship at First Methodist: Sundays, 8:30 & 10:45 AM Corner of Broad and Kirkman Radio broadcast • Sunday, 8:00 AM on 100.5FM 86

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So far, the fall film season has been nothing to brag about. That’s changed with the arrival of Gravity. In the short time it’s been running, it’s set a record opening for October and a new personal best in first weekend grosses for lead performers Sandra Bullock and George Clooney. Though devoid of aliens, laser weapons and other science fiction-oriented gimmicks, this film is truly out-ofthis-world entertainment. And a lot of credit goes to director Alfonso Cuaron (Children of Men and Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban). Dr. Ryan Stone (Bullock) is a relatively new astronaut working on an orbiting telescope. Also outside the shuttle Explorer is veteran astronaut Matt Kowalski (Clooney). Kowalski is on his final mission and is hoping to break the current spacewalking endurance record. Everything falls apart when the shuttle and its crew are bombarded by a swarm of debris from the destruction of a satellite in orbit. The Explorer is destroyed, leaving Stone and Kowalski the only survivors. Drifting in space, Kowalski and Stone work to stay tethered to each other and attempt to reach the International Space Station before their spacesuits run out of oxygen. That’s probably one of the shortest plot summaries I’ve written in a review. And there’s good reason for that. Gravity has a very streamlined storyline, and to add more detail would be to ruin the effect for those who haven’t seen it yet. With the exception of a few voiceovers, such as Ed Harris (Apollo 13), it’s Bullock and Clooney carrying this feature on their shoulders from start to finish. Very few movies have had a cast this small. Considering what the story is about, that’s understandable. Clooney and Bullock are very capable actors, and their chemistry shows in front of the camera. Both of them have excelled in their performances here. Cuaron has assembled a highly talented team of artists who have crafted one of the best techno-thrillers I’ve seen in a long time. The pacing and the amount of suspense under Cuaron’s direction will leave audiences tense no matter how much distance they put between themselves and the action on the screen. I’ve seen so many special effects

Warner Brothers • Rated PG-13

extravaganzas over time I don’t comment much on the technical aspects of such features anymore. In the case of Gravity, I have to say something. The opticals depicting the destroyed shuttle, the debris storm and the space station, among others, are breathtakingly realistic. But the one effect that stands out above all others is the depiction of weightlessness. It’s the simplest visual that gives Gravity its greatest impact on the viewer. To see Clooney and Bullock floating in space, the Earth gleaming in the background, the motion of being out of control in orbit, among others, is more than just a feast for the eyes. The experience of the actors moving in space without being tethered to anything (except each other) is so powerful and realistic that the scenes can produce a feeling of vertigo. You may find yourself clutching the armrests of your seat. This happened to me.

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So far, the fall film season has been nothing to brag about. That’s changed with the arrival of Gravity.

Though there was a similar motion picture with this theme (Marooned in 1968), Gravity goes far beyond that. (Here is some Oscar trivia: Marooned won the Best Visual Effects award for 1968.) It wouldn’t surprise me if this movie got a few Oscar nods itself when the nominations are announced. Another bit of trivia: Gravity runs 90 minutes. That isn’t due to a random decision. It’s estimated it takes 90 minutes for a shuttle to orbit Earth. The fact that Gravity was produced with a great deal of realism helps to heighten the suspense and tension. Undoubtedly, this is the high point of the fall season. We move into the Christmas movie season on Nov. 1 with the release of Ender’s Game and Last Vegas. Don’t miss out on one of the great cinematic thrill rides of 2013. Check out Gravity for really fantastic out-of-thisworld entertainment


MOUNTED MEMORIES

rocke "soybean" fournet

Show Time Words can’t describe how good that felt. The first cool snap of the year just blew through, bringing much-needed relief from the uncomfortable tropical heat and pesky mosquitoes. It’s enough to get you up and moving. Now that this first front has cleared the way, successive Pacific fronts should be en route. These cool, low-humidity air masses help energize the many who enjoy their leisure time in the great outdoors. Just to get things kicked off this season, try this on as an example of starting a great hunting adventure a la 2013. The brotherhood of bow hunters is a union of dedicated hunters and an exclusive club. It’s hard enough to score a wild animal with a firearm. But this group ups the ante and must figure out a way to close the distance and get in close proximity to their chosen game. It is a tough task to prevail, but when you succeed, it makes all the effort worth it. Local bow hunter Ricky Manuel made a road trip out west to Pagosa Springs, Colo., in search of a mature elk. His timing couldn’t have been better, as the mating season was in full swing and the bulls were in search of Lady Love. It was peak rut and the bulls were fired up and responding to cow calls. Ricky was hooked up with a local outfitter who knew the lay of the land and was very effective at his chosen field. Playing the wind just right, he sat upwind and slightly diagonally to Ricky’s position. When the bull approached, he would be locked in on the source of the calls, giving the shooter an opportunity to draw his bow. It didn’t take long. Ricky was on the ground in a kneel-

ing position when the caller began a series of soft cow calls. He picked up the volume and began raking a large bush, mimicking bulls sparring. It was show time! The mature bull immediately answered with a bone-chilling bugle. He was approaching fast. Ricky readied himself and tried to calm the adrenaline rush — to no avail. The bull was wild-eyed and had one thing on his mind. He was hell-bent on finding the cow elk he was zeroed in on. At 32 yards, broadside, and ground level, the bull looked as big as the side of a barn and way more menacing. Ricky picked a spot, settled his sight pen in, and let go with a smooth release. The arrow connected at the sweet spot with a resounding whop that is music to every bow hunter’s ear. The scenic mountains reverberated with the kill call perfected by Cajun hunters. It was a dead-on, fatal shot and the 5X5 bull piled up at under 50 yards. These are magnificent animals, and a just reward for all the work and practice involved in harvesting one. The bonus comes later when the meat is processed, providing a freezer full of some of the most healthy and tasty steaks with gravy ever prepared. We are on the eve of hunting seasons, and anticipation, as always, is at a fever pitch. Most everyone who’s serious about it has prepared their area and is anxiously awaiting the starting gun. What does a true coonass do when the government shuts down? If you answered, go hunting or fishing, give yourself a pat on the back. Happy hunting!

Ricky Manuel with his 5x5 bow kill. AIAIEEEGH!!!

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THURSDAY, OCT. 17 Coushatta Doug & Larry’s Country Party; Terry & The Zydeco Bad Boys Dharma Open mic Isle of Capri John Guinn & Rue Louisiane L’Auberge DJ CaGe Luna Live Earphunk

THURSDAY, OCT. 24 Coushatta Coushatta Doug & Larry’s Country Party; Buddy Dees Dharma Open mic 8 pm Isle of Capri T-Broussard & Zydeco Stompers L’Auberge DJ Crush Luna Live TBA

karaoke Annie's 9pm Friday; Saturday Bourbonz 8pm Tuesdays Chicageaux Bar 8pm Thursday, Friday, Saturday Club 90 8pm Saturday Coolers Thursday Crickets 8:30pm Friday Crystal's Tuesdays, Chad Evans DJ'S Bar Moss Bluff 9pm Friday

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FRIDAY, OCT. 18

SATURDAY, OCT. 19 Cigar Club TBA Coushatta Doug & Larry’s Country Party; Isis Cuz’s Bar Reed Planchard Delta Downs BB & Company Dharma Strange Loops, Bright Like Sun Isle Of Capri The Kadillacs L'Auberge DJ CaGe Luna Live Tommy Malone (The Subdudes) Yesterdays Geno Delafose & French Rockin’ Boogie

Cigar Club Brian Moore Coushatta Doug & Larry’s Country; Isis Cowboys Club 7 Radio Delta Downs BB & Company Dharma Nights & Nights, Bantam Foxes, We Are Wombat Isle of Capri Wayne Dylan L’Auberge DJ CaGe Luna Live Bujie & The Highrise Yesterdays The Bon Journeys

FRIDAY, OCT. 25

SATURDAY, OCT. 26

Cigar Club Kory Fontenot Coushatta Doug & Larry’s Country Party; LA Roxx Cowboys Club 7 Radio Delta Downs Primetime Band Dharma Femme Fatale Showcase Isle of Capri Monster Bash; Da Classics L’Auberge Barenaked Ladies; DJ Crush Luna Live Wendy Colonna CD release Yesterdays Todd O’Neill

Cigar Club Halloween Costume Party Coushatta Doug & Larry’s Country Party; LA Roxx Delta Downs Primetime Band Dharma Jaylotus, Rez, When the Word Was Sound Isle of Capri Cold Sweat L’Auberge Jack After Dark DJ Crush Luna Live Ashes of Babylon Yesterdays Damon Troy & Final Five

DeQuincy VFW 7-11pm Friday; 6-10pm Sunday Dirty Rice Saloon 7pm Thursday Frosty Factory 9pm Friday & Saturday Handlebars Club Tuesdays & Thursdays Huddle Up Thursdays Isle Of Capri 8pm-Midnight Wednesday Kaw-Ligas Tuesday thru Saturday Mike's Place 8pm-until M,W,F Linda's Lounge 8:30-11:30 Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday; 9-1 Saturday Neighborhood Bar 7pm Thursday No Name Lounge 8-Mid Friday, 7-11pm Sunday

Old Town Tavern Fri/Sat Nights R-Bar 8pm Friday Sam's Cove 9pm Thursday Slim's Yesteryears 9pm Thursday Spot Bar & Grill Fridays Sports Pitt 8pm Thursday, Friday, Saturday Sulphur VFW 9pm-Mid Saturday Tiki Bar 8pm Friday Texas Longhorn Club 9pm Thursdays, 1am Fridays

Fax listings to 433-8964 or edit@thelanyap.com


BELL CITY BRUIN CROSS COUNTRY MEET 5k • Oct. 3, 2013 GIRLS INDIVIDUAL RESULTS 1. Morgan Foreman 2. Haley Cooley 3. Haile Gilroy 4. Heather Champagne 5. Mikaela Dorce 6. Kristin Breaux 7. Haley Sanders 8. Ashley Derouen 9. Bobbi Thompson 10. Jaclyn Deason

Barbe Lacassine Barbe Sam Houston Bell City Midland Sulphur South Beau Barbe South Beau

20:09.71 20:32.06 20:50.10 21:07.00 21:35.42 21:44.29 21:47.99 22:08.65 22:20.25 22:23.94

BOYS INDIVIDUAL RESULTS 1. Bradley Hoogerwerf 2. Julian Cornwell 3. Andy Hill 4. Neal Mignez 5. Blake Hebert 6. Grant LaRocca 7. Caleb Sowling 8. Tristan Trahan 9. Tylair Poole 10. Blake Lavergne

Barbe Sulphur Sulphur John. Bayou John. Bayou Barbe Sulphur John. Bayou Bell City Bell City

16:10.24 16:29.31 16:47.39 16:57.88 17:11.27 17:13.60 17:36.03 17:41.15 17:41.56 17:42.70

GIRLS TEAM RESULTS 1. Barbe 44 2. South Beau 64 3. Sulphur 96 4. Lacassine 127 5. Bell City 128 6. Midland 141

BOYS TEAM RESULTS 1. Johnson Bayou 56 2. Barbe 68 3. Sulphur 79 4. Bell City 106 5. Midland 148 6. Sam Houston 151 7. Iowa 189 8. Lacassine 216

DERIDDER DRAGONS CROSS COUNTRY MEET 5k • Oct. 10, 2013 GIRLS INDIVIDUAL RESULTS 1. Colby Carey 2. Laura Lewing 3. Jacquline Rushford 4. Haley Cooley 5. Keysha Eulbert 6. Cheyenne Vander 7. Chelsea James 8. Allison Beason 9. Sydney Staples 10. LeeAnn Bennette 11. Brittney Sims 12. Heather Champagne 13. Anna Coffey 14. Haleigh Latchney 15. Ashlyn Derouen 16. Emily Heard 17. Haley Sanders 18. Charity Spell 19. Kelsie Williams 20. Jade Roucheu 21. Lillian Jeans 22. Kimmie Rushford 23. Lindsay DeSantigo 24. Bethany Manuel 25. Shaylee Stevens 26. Dakota Wing 27. Kameron Guidry 28. Adelaide Hollier 29. Carlee Burnett 30. Ashley Smith

GIRLS TEAM RESULTS 1. Anacoco 112 2. South Beau 126 3. Pitkin 149 4. Sam Houston 159 5. DeRidder 200 6. Natch Central 221 7. Lacassine 224 8. Sulphur 237 9. St. Louis 293 10. Leesville 310

Natch. Cent. St. Louis DeRidder Lacassine Leesville Rosepine Pitkin Negreet Anacoco Simpson Anacoco Sam Houston Natch. Cent. Simpson South Beau St. Mary Sulpur Pitkin Merryville Pickering Merryville DeRidder DeRidder South Beau Anacoco Sam Houston Lacassine South Beau South Beau South Beau

20.56 21:21 22.11 22:21 22:32 22:37 22:41 22:42 22:49 23:00 23:03 23:04 23:22 23:27 23:34 23:36 23:56 23:57 24:06 24:23 24:26 24:27 24:33 24:37 24:37 24:38 24:38 24:39 24:39 24:39

BOYS INDIVIDUAL RESULTS 1. Sam Turnipseed 2. Blake Cantrell 3. Julian Cornwell 4. Brett Cosio 5. Scott Maggio 6. Caleb Dowling 7. Brennan LeBlanc 8. Andy Hill 9. Darius Denson 10. Brian Buono 11. Bailey Sexton 12. Strack Brown 13. Blake Hebert 14. Albdemir Rivera 15. Josh Turner 16. Jeresum Atkins 17. Tristan Trahan 18. Alex Murray 19. Will Reese 20. Hunter Vienne 21. Brady Everett 22. Will Hodgkins 23. Kyle Bodin 24. Drake Haines 25. Phillip Jones 26. Joshua Shelton 27. John Henry Ammons 28. Andrew Flowers 29. Tucker Wann 30. Kelvin Shelton

BOYS TEAM RESULTS 1. Anacoco 74 2. DeRidder 94 3. Sulphur 99 4. Johnson Bayou 130 5. St. Louis 132 6. Leesville 139 7. St. Mary 207 8. Natch. Central 271 9. Pickering 283 10. Iowa 329

Anacoco Rosepine Sulphur Anacoco St. Mary Sulphur Iowa Sulphur DeRidder Rosepine DeRidder St. Louis John. Bayou Pickering Pitkin Leesville John. Bayou Anacoco Anacoco St. Mary DeRidder St. Louis Sam Houston Leesville DeRidder Leesville St. Louis DeRidder Leesville John. Bayou

18:06 18:16 18:30 18:31 18:38 18:43 18:44 18:45 18:50 18:51 18:56 18:57 18:58 18:59 18:59 19:07 19:13 19:20 19:22 19:24 19:28 19:33 19:38 19.44 19:45 19:54 19:56 19:59 20:02 20:04

Colby Carey

Laura Lewing

Jaqueline Rushford

Sam Turnipseed

Blake Cantrell

Julian Cornwell

Race results provided by meet hosts. Places with no name/time shown at Iowa meet refer to names/times not kept due to participating school entering less than the five runners necessary to score as a team. Only top 10 times provided for Iowa meet. Top 10 finishers shown for Bell City meet. Top 30 finishers shown for DeRidder meet.

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SARRO ON SPORTS

rick sarro

Heavenly High Editor’s Note: Rick Sarro traveled with the New Orleans Saints to Foxboro, Mass. for their Oct. 13 nail-biting loss to the New England Patriots. He’ll report on his experiences in an upcoming edition. The following classic Sarro column appeared immediately after the Saints capped off their 2009 season with the franchise’s first Super Bowl title. Enjoy.

From Miami’s Sun Life Stadium, section 122, row 22, seat 23. Amid the swirling confetti, continuous crowd roar and chants of “Who Dat!” ... “Dad! Dad! Can you believe it? We finally did it. The Saints are the Super Bowl Champs. Unbelievable Dad; can you hear me with all this noise?” “Talk louder, Rick. Better yet, let me just listen to the cheers and everything. How long have we waited for this day? I can’t believe we finally won it.” “About 43 years, but it seems longer than that. I still remember that first Saints game you took me to. First season, 1967, against the Cleveland Browns. It was their third game, I think, at old Tulane Stadium. We lost 42-7, but I remember there wasn’t an empty seat. We sat behind some guys who yelled the whole game and drank a lot of beer — Schlitz and some beer called Black Label. They kept throwing their empties behind them so they wouldn’t get in their way, but I was ankle deep in beer cans. Crazy.” “Yeah, I remember you had to have a Saints black and gold pennant. Did you save that thing? Probably worth some money now. Something from their first ever season.” “Long gone, Dad. I wish I had kept it, though. They’re flashing it on the JumboTrons now. Makes it seem more real — New Orleans Saints — Super Bowl XLIV Champions! When the last second ticked off the clock, I was jumping up and down like a crazy man — couldn’t help myself. I was hugging the ladies sitting next to me. High fiving anyone with their arms up in the air and trying to take as many pictures as I could. Melanie told me I better come home with a few hundred Super Bowl pictures. I almost lost the damn camera, though. When Tracy Porter intercepted Peyton Manning and ran it in for the touchdown, I was bouncing and screaming and the camera must have popped out of my front pocket and fallen on the ground. When the game was ending, I reached for the camera to take some shots and it was gone. It took the woman sitting in front of me a few long seconds of digging through all the cups to find it. 90

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Man, I was lucky. Mel would have killed me.” “What’s going on now?” “The commissioner just handed the Lombardi Trophy to Tom Benson. He said he could kiss Sean Payton and he should. It was Benson’s best decision and best hire when he got Payton as head coach. Payton’s pumping the trophy in the air. I hope he has a tight grip on that thing. He’s saying how proud he is of the team and that they won it for the city and all the fans. The media keeps saying it’s a great victory for New Orleans, but Payton and the players know it’s for the entire state of Louisiana and the Gulf Coast.” “Have they said who’s the game MVP yet? It has to be Drew Brees. That guy is incredible. You know how much I loved old Billy Kilmer and our boy Archie, but that Brees guy is something else. He’s the best quarterback in Saints history now; he’s got the title to prove it, right?” “You got your wish, Pop. They announced Brees is the Super Bowl MVP. No brainer — 32 out of 39 passes with a spike and two dropped balls; 288 yards, two touchdowns and no picks. Tied a Super Bowl record for the most completions. He could have easily broken the record, but it doesn’t matter. Dad, you should see this. Brees is holding his one-year-old son on the stage. The little guy has head phones on because it’s so loud, and he’s just looking up into the lights. Brees has tears in his eyes and he’s just kissing his little boy. Man, I wish Zachary and little Carter were here with me. Every dad’s dream is to share something like this with his sons. Wow, they keep showing Brees with his boy on the giant screens. I said I wouldn’t cry, but this is killing me.” “You and I didn’t share a whole lot of great Saints victories did we? We mostly suffered together. Remember how we would relive the games after your sports shows? You always liked to explain all the ins and outs — why they lost again — but I kept saying it was crappy coaching and bad ownership. Maybe I was right after all, huh?”

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“OK, Dad, I’ll give you that. It all changed quickly when Payton was hired. The season after Katrina. Man, was that a mess. Dad, can you believe there were dead bodies floating in the streets of New Orleans? And now people are celebrating on those same streets. Payton knew Brees, bum shoulder and all, was his quarterback. Lured him to the city and then got Reggie Bush with the second pick of the draft. All week everyone said it’s been such a long, painful road to the Super Bowl, and it has been; but remember the Saints were one win away from the Super Bowl back in 2006? Payton’s rookie season as coach. First year with Brees. If they could have beaten the Bears in Chicago, they would have played these same Colts in this same stadium for the Super Bowl, like, three years ago. How ironic is that?” “Ironic that they had to beat Peyton, Archie’s kid who was born and raised in New Orleans and rooted for the Saints and his dad growing up. You can’t blame Arch for siding with his son over his old team. Tough spot.” “Peyton played pretty well. Just not as good as Brees. He controlled the first quarter. Went up 10-0. But the Saints took over the second quarter. I liked the fourth-and-goal call to go for the touchdown even though they tackled Pierre Thomas at the line. You had to go for six that close against the Colts. The Saints needed touchdowns. They ended up with another field goal, but it was great momentum to end the half. How about that kicker, too? Garrett Hartley drilled three for three field goals of 40, 44 and 47 yards. He’s the first kicker to hit three field goals of 40 yards and longer in a Super Bowl game.” “What are they doing now, son? Is Brees talking about that onsides kick? Never thought they would do that.” “The Colts didn’t either. Great timing, great call, big confidence boost. That was Payton’s way the whole season, Dad. Aggressive from start to finish. I said all along that the Saints couldn’t be satisfied with just making it to the Super Bowl; they had to believe they could win it and Payton made them

believe. The onsides kick was just part of it. He said they practiced it all week leading up to the game and knew he was going to call it. Ballsy decision to open the second half. Brees hit Thomas on that screen pass, got some great blocking and ran it in for the Saints’ first lead at 13-10. That play came right toward where I was sitting. I could see the whole play and how it was going to work. I spilled some of my beer on some folks when he dove in the end zone, but no one cared.” “I bet you really thought they could win it when they finally scored their first touchdown. I can only imagine that everyone picked the Colts to win. How could the Saints beat Manning and Indy?” “I believed all along the Saints could and would win. I thought they had more talent, and the match-ups favored the Saints. I knew the defense would give up some yards, but defensive coordinator Gregg Williams would put a game plan together to keep Manning in check. Dad, my prediction was 36-31, but I don’t mind being off.” “That young kid with the weird haircut made a big play with the interception in the fourth quarter. Remember all those times we sat through close games in the late ‘80s and ‘90s when Jim Mora was coach? So many times the Saints needed someone to make a play and often it just didn’t happen. They made a first down here or a defensive stop there to win a game. I remember so many games they were so close, but couldn’t make the big play.” “Yeah, I remember, Dad. But these are a different bunch of players. Payton and Mickey Loomis brought in some real character guys: strong leaders on the field and in the locker room. Brees heads the list, of course. But there’s Vilma, Shockey, Fujita, Sharper, Thomas, Colston — I could go on. Man, I know you endured some lousy quarterbacks — remember guys like Richard Todd, Steve Walsh, Heath Shuler, the two Billy Joes and Danny Wuerffel? I can still see that pinhead Aaron Brooks walking off the field after throwing an interception with that goofy smile. He wouldn’t last one game in this locker room with that attitude. Tracy Porter made big picks all year. When he took off running, I was screaming for him to cut — cut! I didn’t want him to be pushed out of bounds. They needed a quick six to shut the game down and he got it. Unbelievable. Everyone was going nuts. It was the sweetest 74 yards I’ve ever seen. Hartley’s 40-yard field goal in overtime to beat Minnesota was pretty sweet, too.”


“When me and your Mom moved down to Louisiana from Chicago, I was still a Bears fans, you know. But I switched when we finally got the Saints. You remember all the trips to New Orleans when we took you kids there to visit family and go to Central Grocery for the olives, bread and Italian cookies? I figured I’d spent enough time in the city, so the Saints were now my team.” “Dad, you could have been just an LSU fan and taken me to Tiger games instead. It would have been a lot less suffering, I think. On second thought, I’ll take the 43 years and this Super Bowl over two national championships any day.” “Sounds like you survived OK. Stop whining. What’s this — your third Super Bowl? Giants, Packers and now the Saints. I don’t have to ask you which one was the best, do I?” “No contest. Not even close. When this one ended and I saw that final score, all I could think about was you, Dad. All

those years of watching games together, bringing you to the Super Dome while your legs were still strong enough for you to walk. Our team, our bond, our love. Melanie and I have the boys off to a good start, so don’t worry about the Sarro/Saints legacy. Zachary says the Who Dat cheer in his Brees jersey and Carter King loves to wear his No. 25 on game days. I left your old black Saints hat by the TV at home for good luck. It worked. The stadium is clearing out, but I just want to breathe it all in for a few more minutes. I would have loved to reach over and give you a big victory hug. It’s been nearly three years since you passed and I miss you more each day. But I know you were right here next to me the whole game. And this time, Dad, we made the big play.”

Get Rick Sarro’s perspectives on sports on Soundoff 60, which airs Monday through Sunday nights at 9 pm on Suddenlink Channel 60 and Saturday and Sunday mornings at 10 am as well.

www.BestOfSWLA.com

October 17, 2013

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Bobby Lafleur Auto Sales 2610 Kirkman • 721-7707

ALL VEHICLES ARE NEW CAR DEALER TRADE-INS 2000 Dodge Caravan, white, very clean ...............................$2,900 2001 Mazda 606, leather, ..........................................................2,900 1999 Nissan Altima, very nice, ................................................2,900 2000 Ford F-150 Ext. Cab, bed cover, nice .............................3,900 2003 Dodge Grand Caravan, maroon, nice ............................3,900 2000 Chevy Tahoe, third seat ..................................................3,900 2005 Saturn, only 85,000 miles ................................................4,900 2005 Hyundai Sonata, low miles, ............................................4,900 2005 Dodge Crew Cab, 20-in. rims, .........................................5,900 2005 Dodge Durango, third seat .............................................6,900 2005 Honda Accord, 4-door, automatic, .................................6,900 2005 Pontiac Grand Am, only 56,000 miles ............................6,900 2005 Chevy Suburban LT, maroon .........................................7,900 2005 Chevy Tahoe LS, green ...................................................7,900

Lake Charles • 721-7707

Transform Your Patio, Walkway, Driveway, Living Areas, Pool Deck and More! We can stamp or stain any pattern and any color for permanent beauty!

CALL US TODAY FOR A FREE CONSULTATION!

855-8333 540-0943 Ron Guidroz, owner LICENSED, BONDED AND INSURED 92

LAGNIAPPE

October 17, 2013

www.BestOfSWLA.com

View our virtual portfolio online at www.creativeconcretebyron.com


services

announcements

services

ACCOUNTING

I BUY JUNK CARS UP TO $400. 2004 AND NEWER UP TO $600!

BROUSSARD & COMPANY CPA's

BARRETT CONSULTING APC Tax • Accounting Litigation Support Business Valuation & Consulting 1180 E. McNeese Ph: 337-855-0032 r1219

337-912-1816 PLACE YOUR AD CALL ROSE AT 4338502 TODAY! class@thelanyap.com _________________

announcements

127 W. Broad Suite 800 Lake Charles

FLIGHT TRAINING! VISION AVIATION, LLC; LICENSED INSTRUCTOR(S). Fly to new heights with our one of a kind “Discovery Flight” to see the sights for only $75! Makes a unique and adventurous gift. Gift Certificates available now. Call and reserve your fun at 478.7722.

337-439-6600 r1219

337-656-2928 GoMinis® of SWLA Lake Charles

MOVING? REMODELING? NEED ADDITIONAL STORAGE?

k2013apr

8' X 20' 8' X 16' 8' X 12'

services

COWBOY'S TOWING & RECOVERY 24-HOUR TOWING 4125 E. HWY 90 • LAKE CHARLES

337-656-2928

ANTIQUE COOLERS, CUSTOM PAINTED OR RAW, BRAND NEW OLD STOCK STILL IN BOXES. RARE! 337-515-6945

EXCAVATING CULVERTS SET and drainage problems fixed. Surface or underground drainage, both residential and commercial. Call Goudeau Excavation 337-540-4820 r0905

J&J AUTO SALVAGE & SALES WE BUY JUNK CARS & TRUCKS $200.00 - $600.00 Hours 8-5, Mon-Sat

NATURALLY RAISED BEEF, butchered, vacuum packed, and frozen. Custom size portions to fit your needs. Wholes, halves, quarters, and packaged meat. Come see us every Tues. 4pm-6pm at Cash and Carry Farmers Market or call 842-4653 or 764-1074. r1121

Clean Used Cars Great Condition

GREAT DEALS ON WHEELS 2003 Saturn Ion 3 4 door, loaded, nice .$3595 2001 Chevy Cavalier 4 door, clean ......$2995 1999 Buick LeSabre Ltd V6 ..............$2995 1998 Mercury Grand Marquis .......$2995 1995 Mercury Cougar like new............$2595 1994 Cadillac DeVille loaded like new $2995 1994 Nissan Sentra 4 door, shar p .......$1995 2004 GMC Yukon XL loaded, clean .....$3995 2002 Ford Explorer Trac combo! .......$3595 2001 Ford F150 XL Pickup ...............$2995 2001 Dodge Ram 1500 super nice ......$2995 2000 Chevy Silverado ext cab ............$3595 1998 GMC Sierra ext. cab, like new .......$2995 1997 GMC Suburban excellent! ...........$2595

LAKE CHARLES AUTO PARTS Old Town Rd. & Hwy 171 Lake Charles, LA

439-8899

PARTIN JEWELRY REPAIR

337-433-2669 OR 337-494-0665 "BEST DEALS IN TOWN!"

34 Years Experience Jewelry Repair & Custom Jewelry Work

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Info or Estimates: 526.2533

All work is done in store by me Located inside Bodin Jewelers 3133 Ernest Street (East of JCPenney) OPEN: Tues-Fri 10-5:30

436-6535

NEW TO LAKE CHARLES! "Your Honest Hometown Family Owned Repair Shop" We offer fair labor rates, honest diagnosis and service. We don't just want your business, we want to earn it along with your trust. Complete Automotive Repair and Maintenance on cars and light trucks, with specialization on Domestic. Small or Large Repairs and Service.

Call anytime 842-9184 Bring in this ad and receive

Rickey Partin

15% OFF

www.BestOfSWLA.com

October 17, 2013

any repair work!

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UTEC

Utility Truck & Equipment Co. Boat Trailer Axles & Springs • Flat Beds Service Bodies • Truck Cranes • Tool Boxes Fabrication • Big Truck P&B We're At Your Service! 24-Hour Road Service 1432 BROAD ST • 433-5361

services

announcements

MISC. SERVICES

HAIR SALON

Sell that Junk Car for Cash! I will buy your junk car, truck, van, motor home, or trailer. I also buy ATV’s, motorcycles, and even farm equipment. Even if it’s not running, you can make from $400 to $600. Clean your yard up, and decide what you’ll spend your extra money on! HELP WANTED Experienced mechanic needed. Call now at 526.9533. k1018

NEW! CUSTOM CABINET SHOP Custom Countertops Affordable Pricing Professional Custom Woodwork Entire Lake Charles Area

302-6903 PLACE YOUR AD CALL ROSE AT 4338502 TODAY! class@thelanyap.com _________________

COUNTRY CLUB HAIR - Where a haircut still comes with a lollipop and a smile. Over 25 years in business. Walk-ins welcome. Located on 1214 Country Club Rd. Open Tuesday-Friday 8:30-5:30, Saturdays 8am-2pm. Call 4744722 k0816 _________________

Buying U.S. Coins & Currency

Gold, Silver, Coins & Sets

MAGIC THE GATHERING TOURNAMENTS HELD WEEKLY 478-2143 3941 Ryan Street, Lake Charles

At Cracker Barrel, You Can Get What You Want Now Hiring:

SERVERS ALL SHIFTS

(337) 626-9500 An Equal Opportunity Employer

Larry A. Roach, Inc.

services

A PROFESSIONAL LAW CORPORATION

FENCING

Accidents • Wrongful Death Serious Personal Injury Criminal, Domestic Law Cases

FENCEMAKERS We build chainlink, barbed, privacy, electric, net, wooden, and security fences, free estimates. Call David today at 337-375-4747. k0920 _________________

FENCEMAKERS We build chainlink, barbed, privacy, electric, net, wooden, and security fences, free estimates. Call David today at 337-375-4747. k0920 _________________

announcements RETAIL / OFFICE RETAIL OR OFFICE SPACE FOR LEASE. "Single or double available. Includes conference room usage, kitchen, 2 handicap accessible bathrooms, parking in front and behind building. 154 W. McNeese. Call Denise today for details! 337-474-3406 ph

_________________

stuff 4 sale OVERKILL SALVAGE "If it's sunk, we can get it up!"

Call Today! 337-309-7301

2917 Ryan St. • Lake Charles (337) 433-8504 • Fax (337) 433-3196 94

LAGNIAPPE

October 17, 2013

www.BestOfSWLA.com

Gold & Silver Coins Currency Mint & Proof Sets All Coins Graded w/Photograde I BUY COLLECTIONS

GREAT NEIGHBORHOOD $37,500 PER ACRE OR MAKE OFFER

KEMBLE GUILLORY CALL 802-5402

SOUTH LAKE CHARLES

PETS

478-2386 884-2386

Tree Removal, Stump Grinding, Land Clearing, Bonded. Insured. License AR 1604 337-884-6881 g0502-2012

real estate MOBILE HOMES MOBILE HOME TO BE MOVED. 3/2, BO over $8,000. Camper for rent. All bills paid. 2 acre lot south of Lake Charles. 477-6243 or 564-5859 gpnmr _________________ PLACE YOUR AD HERE AND START GETTING RESULTS! CALL ROSE AT 4338502 TODAY _________________

real estate HUNTING CAMP FOR SALE AT LONGVILLE LAKE, PLUTO LOOP, $22,500 CALL 337-515-9614

services CONSTRUCTION

BOUCHER & SON'S CONSTRUCTION ~ YOU’VE FOUND THE RIGHT COMPANY! Give us call for all your construction, carpentry, painting, and damage repairs. Licensed, Bonded, and Insured. Member of the Better Business Bureau. Give Tom a call at 337-474-2844 (office) or 337-842-1455 (cell) AND SEE HOW AFFORDABLE UPGRADING YOUR HOME CAN BE! 474.2844. k0313 _________________

k0920

services

real estate services

UPHOLSTERY

BOAT & RV STORAGE

BOAT UPHOLSTERY and top repairs, motorcycles, convertible and more. AAA Glass & Upholstery, 1810 E. Prien Lake Road or CALL 337-564-4125

BOAT & RV STORAGE - 6102 COMMON STREET. SECURED STORAGE! Call 337564-5377 cr _________________

k0816

services LAWN & GARDEN S&S LAWN CARE for your mowing and trimming needs call David at 337-884-0342 or 337-588-4000 k0517

Laundry W rld Larry A. Roach (1932-2003) Barry A. Roach • Larry A. Roach, Jr. Fred C. "Bubba" LeBleu • David M. Hudson

RARE COINS

services

• Flexible Schedules • Medical and Dental • Chance to Grow • Paid Training • No tip sharing STOP BY TODAY! Exit 23, Sulphur

DOWN ON THE BAYOU

FENCING

SALVAGE

PAPER HEROES

3 ACRES ELEVATED LAND

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CORPORATE LEASE, WEEKLY, MONTHLY OR YEARLY Approx 3500 sf, 4BR, 3 BA, minutes from beach, L'Auberge and boat launch. Fully furnished, turnkey, large patio, bbq pit, fenced yard,. 713-829-2974, ask for Ron Wiggins. ph

services HOME REPAIR ALL TYPES OF ROOFING, siding, mobile home skirting, licensed and bonded. Call Jimmy today at 337-499-7807. ph _________________

Professional Wash, Dry, Fold/Hang Service Dry Cleaning Available PUT US TO WORK FOR YOU TODAY!

k1220

announcements WE WILL BUY! SELL THAT JUNK CAR FOR CASH! I will buy your junk car, truck, van, motor home, or trailer. I also buy ATV’s, motorcycles, and even farm equipment. Even if it’s not running, you can make from $400 to $600. Clean your yard up, and decide what you’ll spend your extra money on! HELP WANTED Experienced mechanic needed.Call now at 526.9533. k1018 _________________

services AUTO REPAIR

YOUR SOURCE LAWN & GARDEN TIRES 477-9850 478-6565 527-6355 "People you trust, products you depend on"


announcements

services

NEW PRODUCTS NEW PRODUCT OR INVENTION? Have 20 connections in China and Vietnam for manufacture of new products. Let us know what you have or need. Call Bryan or Ron today 1-800-634-5816. ph _________________ TRACTOR AND FORKLIFT WORK. Bush hogging, box blade, disk. Call today 337-749-2069 or 337802-8182 n0804 _________________ SLEEP BETTER AT NIGHT KNOWING YOU ARE SMART! PLACE YOUR AD HERE! CALL ROSE AT 433-8502 TODAY! _________________

KNOX FENCE Tree Removal, Stump Grinding, Land Clearing, Demolition. Bonded. Insured. License AR 1604 337-884-6881 g0502-2012

services DOORS WHY PAY MORE FOR DOORS 800 instock Doors Windows & More. 489-4313 csta15 _________________

Don’t blend in, make your home stand out with a customized fence. Choose your own design or one of ours. We also do chainlink, ornamental, aluminum and iron fencing. Can install electric or solar gate operators. Call for a free estimate. Licensed and insured, 20+ years of experience. Ask for Steve at 337.540.6973 k0621

JUNK CARS SELL THAT JUNK CAR FOR CASH! I will buy your junk car, truck, van, motor home, or trailer. I also buy ATV’s, motorcycles, and even farm equipment. Even if it’s not running, you can make from $400 to $600. Clean your yard up, and decide what you’ll spend your extra money on! Call now at 526.9533. k1018 _________________

PLUMBING

Start an Exciting Career in Emergency Communications Entry Level $15 an hour w/benefits Applications available at www.calcasieu911.com Equal Opportunity Employer

Cash for Junk Cars Need Extra Cash? WE ARE NOW BUYING CARS • TRUCKS VANS • ATV’S • MOTORCYCLES

services BOAT & RV STORAGE BOAT & RV STORAGE - 6102 COMMON STREET. SECURED STORAGE! Call 337564-5377 cr _________________

Also Motor Homes, Trailers and Farm Equipment. Not running? You can still make $400 and up! Get your yard cleaned up while deciding how you’ll spend your extra money!

announcements

CALL 526-9533

WE WILL BUY!

classified k0621

RETAIL / OFFICE RETAIL OR OFFICE SPACE FOR LEASE. "Single or double available. Includes conference room usage, kitchen, 2 handicap accessible bathrooms, parking in front and behind building. 154 W. McNeese. Call Denise today for details! 337-474-3406 ph

_________________

PLACE YOUR AD HERE! CALL KENNY AT 433-8502 TODAY! class@thelanyap.com _________________

PLACE YOUR AD HERE! CALL ROSE AT 433-8502 TODAY! _________________

services RAPHAEL BENOIT CUSTOM HOME BUILDERS - Home improvements, Remodeling & Additions. New Home Construction. Serving SWLA since 1993. Call Raphael Benoit at 337-802-6522 k0816 _________________

classified

announcements

VARIETY MOTORS CLEAN USED CARS ‘05 Dodge Neon ...............3,900 ‘00 Nissan Frontier ..........3,900 ‘03 Dodge Durango .........2,550 ‘99 Chevy Tahoe Ltd., .....3,250 ‘96 Mercedes Benz L200 2,900 ‘00 Honda Civic ..............3,900 ‘03 Crown Vic .................4,900 ‘01 Pontiac Grand Prix ....3,900

‘02 Toyota Camry ............4,900 ‘98 Buick Regal ...............3,995 ‘99 Saturn 2-dooR ...........2,500 ‘02 Isuzu Rodeo ...............3,550 ‘02 Dodge Caravan ..........2,900 ‘04 Ford Taurus ...............3,350 ‘07 Chevy Malibu ............5,550 ‘02 Ford Ranger 5-Speed .3,995

All New Car Trade-Ins! 1825 Kirkman St. • 337-912-2713

SELL THAT JUNK CAR FOR CASH! I will buy your junk car, truck, van, motor home, or trailer. I also buy ATV’s, motorcycles, and even farm equipment. Even if it’s not running, you can make from $400 to $600. Clean your yard up, and decide what you’ll spend your extra money on! HELP WANTED Experienced mechanic needed.Call now at 526.9533. k1018 _________________

announcements

HWY 90 CONSIGNMENT STORAGE Cars • Trucks • Boats • RV's Mobile Homes • Vans Safe and Secure Storage forThose Big Items in Your Way! CONSIGNMENT: Your items can be put up for consignment to make that extra money when you decide you no longer need storage for you item. Good prices, and large customer base to purchase any items you store with us.

HAIR SALON COUNTRY CLUB HAIR - Where a haircut still comes with a lollipop and a smile. Over 25 years in business. Walk-ins welcome. Located on 1214 Country Club Rd. Open Tuesday-Friday 8:30-5:30, Saturdays 8am-2pm. Call 4744722 k0816 _________________

Call now and make some room OR some cash for your items: 337.526.2533 www.BestOfSWLA.com

October 17, 2013

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THE

TRANSMISSION SHOP We work on all transmissions!

5817 Common Street Lake Charles 337-540-3795 337-540-6908 C. Scot LaFargue Owner

FULL TIME SATELLITE TECHNICIANS NEEDED for well-established company. Paid training, paid weekly. Come join our team! Call Antonio @ 888-959-9675 or submit resume to careers@satcountry.com

Laundry W rld Do Your Laundry in 4 Minutes!

HOUSE LEVELING

2 minutes to drop off 2 minutes to pick up 4319 Common St. • 474-8748 2501 Hwy 14 • 433-7503 Professional Wash, Dry, Fold/Hang Service Dry Cleaning Available

LIFTING AND MOVING GUARANTEED 2-YEAR WARRANTY FOR ALL LABOR AND MATERIALS! Foundation Repair • Concrete Slab Stabilization Licensed, Bonded and Insured • References

Bryan's Plumbing, LLC Owner - Bryan Granger 30+ years experience

CALL ONE STOP www.onestophouseleveling.com

337-309-7301 announcements

NEW PRODUCTS

RETAIL OR OFFICE SPACE FOR LEASE. "Single or double available. Includes conference room usage, kitchen, 2 handicap accessible bathrooms, parking in front and behind building. 154 W. McNeese. Call Denise today for details! 337-474-3406

NEW PRODUCT OR INVENTION? Have 20 connections in China and Vietnam for manufacture of new products. Let us know what you have or need. Call Bryan or Ron today 1-800-634-5816. ph _________________

_________________

announcements DINING OUT

SHOP A-LOT DELI Drive-Thru Daiquiri Window Longer Dining Hours M-F 10AM-6PM SAT 10AM-4PM

2707 HAZEL 433-2135

PLACE YOUR AD HERE AND START GETTING RESULTS! A lot of people are paying way too much for classified advertising. Don't be one of them! CALL LAMONT AT 660-8877 TODAY class@thelanyap.com _________________

real estate MOBILE HOMES MOBILE HOME TO BE MOVED. 3/2, BO over $8,000. Camper for rent. All bills paid. 2 acre lot south of Lake Charles. 477-6243 or 564-5859 gpnmr _________________

for classified advertising. Unless you like to, of course. Save some money! CALL ROSE AT 433-8502 TODAY class@thelanyap.com _________________ LAGNIAPPE

337-598-2586

MOBILE: 802-2465

classified

PLACE YOUR AD HERE AND START GETTING RESULTS! Don't pay too much

96

k0816

services

RETAIL / OFFICE

ph

757 Grangerville Rd. Bell City, La, 70630

October 17, 2013

www.BestOfSWLA.com

Me & You Antiques & Collectibles

418 N. 4th Street • Silsbee, Texas

409-385-0906 Tues-Fri 10am-5pm • Sat 10am-3pm Furniture • Glassware • Lamps • Mirrors • Dishes Iron Bed (full) • Wooden White Slat Bed (full) And So Much More! Owner: Sibyel Balla • 2012meandyou@gmail.com


southwest louisiana job finder help wanted MAZDA OF LAKE CHARLES is Now Hiring Sales Associates To expand their Sales Team. We offer insurance, 401K, Vacation, Great Hours, Large Inventory. No experience necessary, will train. Apply in person to Will Bryant 11am-2pm

CONTRACTORS

announcements GET RESULTS!

HANDYMAN JACOB HOME REPAIRS 337-302-3878

real estate RAGLEY-HWY 190 Convenience store and house for sale or lease. CAMP PEARL Loop off Topsy Bel Road, 2/1 log cabin on 1.3 acres $79,500. INDIAN VILLAGE AREA Parish Line Road. 3/2 home with 20x30 shop on 2 acres. $165,000 CANNON REALTY 337-738-5190

announcements NOW BUYING OUSLEY PAINTINGS Please Call 337-794-9714

announcements I BUY SCRAP CARS! PAYING UP TO $550 FOR TRUCKS AND LESS ON CARS. PLEASE CALL 802-8348 Must Have Title!

Immediate Openings Registered Nurses • ICU • Med/Surg • In House Staffing Pool (1 year exp.) • Emergency Department

LPNs • Physician's Office (Medical Office Experience Required) • In House Staffing Pool (1 year exp.) • Social Worker, MSW • Program Specialist/Driver • Physical Therapist • Financial/Compliance Coordinator (Part Time)

RV PARK/LAKE

Laboratory

FALL IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER, that means camping season in SWLA! 25 minutes north of Lake Charles, Longville Lake Park110 acre scenic stocked pond with boat launch. Full RV hookups available. Call or come by for your campground reservations! 337-725-3395 7115 Hwy 110 East, Longville, LA.

• Medical Technologist

Moss Memorial Health Clinic • Licensed Practical Nurse • Nurse Practitioner

Additional Openings Include

FOR SALE IN MOSS BLUFF 10 ACRES ON DUNN FERRY ROAD (NEAR SUTHERLAND) $200,000 850-420-6744

For additional openings or to apply, please visit our website at www.lcmh.com Or apply at 3050 Aster Street, Lake Charles EOE

g0502-2012

PLACE YOUR AD CALL ROSE AT 4338502 TODAY! class@thelanyap.com _________________

SHEAR PAWFECTION PET GROOMING 2924 Summer Place Drive, Sulphur, off Houston River Road, call 337-528-5910. Appointment only. "Where All The Pampered Pets Go!" k0816

stuff 4 sale

announcements

services I AM LOOKING FOR WORK ... I AM A HOUSEKEEPING HOUSEKEEPER! - I am honest, hard-working, trustworthy and dependable. 10 years experience. Call me! Cami @ 337-287-4972 r1003

_________________

Powerstroke, Cummins, Duramax, remanufactured with warranty. Will deliver. 713-918-5811

announcements NOW BUYING OUSLEY PAINTINGS Please Call 337-794-9714

services I DO IT ALL! A ALL JOB'S, Very Reasonable, Carpentry, Tile, Brick, Stucco, Sheetrock, Vinyl Siding, 302-4110

announcements

stuff 4 sale

PLACE YOUR AD CALL ROSE AT 4338502 TODAY! class@thelanyap.com _________________

services LANDSCAPING

FALL LANDSCAPE PACKAGES for every budget! We use state of the art software to show you what your landscape can look like. $100 OFF any new landscape project when you mention Lagniappe! SWLA Lawn and Landscape Licensed, Bonded, Insured 337-625-5625 K1018

J&J AUTO SALVAGE & SALES WE BUY JUNK CARS & TRUCKS $200.00 - $600.00 Hours 8-5, Mon-Sat 337-433-2669 OR 337-494-0665 "BEST DEALS IN TOWN!"

FOR SALE STUDIO COUCH

TOWAWAYS

Opens into queen size bed. Good condition. Reg. $900, asking $500.

Towing and Recovery Service NOW RENTING U-HAUL TRUCKS & TRAILERS

337-478-6574

TRAILERS

DIESEL ENGINES

r1219

Tree Removal, Stump Grinding, Land Clearing, Demolition, Crane Work, Debris Hauling. Bonded. Insured. License AR 1604 337-884-6881

ph

• Psych Tech • Patient Account Representative

LC YACHT CLUB

real estate

Slender Solutions, an established salon for over 13 years located in thriving South Lake Charles is looking for Eager New or Upcoming Hair Stylists, Massage Therapists, and Nail Team who are excited to prosper with our expanding business! Private or open settings are available with limitless client possibilites! PLEASE CALL APRIL AT 5629400 TO SCHEDULE AN APPOINTMENT. Slender Solutions of Lake Charles.

HOUSEKEEPING

Physical Medicine

announcements

JOIN THE LC YACHT CLUB! Sail boats and power boats are welcome, family friendly. Member- ship includes on the water clubhouse, sailboats, socials. Call Ship to Shore at 474.0730 _________________

DEPENDABLE PEOPLE WANTED!

for well-established company. Paid training, paid weekly. Come join our team! Call Antonio @ 888-959-9675 or submit resume to careers@ satcountry.com

Intensive Outpatient Psychiatric

ADVERTISE NOW IN LAGNIAPPE CLASSIFIEDS ..CALL ROSE AT 433-8502 _________________

announcements

help wanted

FULL TIME SATELLITE TECHNICIANS NEEDED

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October 17, 2013

LAGNIAPPE

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The Forgiveness of Deborah Where are you Deborah? What was your story, little girl? Where are you now? _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ Deborah is on my mind, because I bullied her. I have this thing I call The Flinches. I’d be driving and my subconscious would send a bad memory to mind, there it is, true, and truly shameful, and I’d literally flinch, jerk a shoulder in, often would bang on the steering wheel with my right hand, just furious at the idiot I had been. Once I got reacquainted with God, The Flinches didn’t hit me anymore. That’s what Forgiven does. All wrongs are wrongs to Him. He pays the bill. If He says we’re square, we’re square. But what about Deborah? Where do I stand with you? _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ I went to a small rural school. From first grade to seniors, all in one compound, just different lunch hours and recesses. We mixed, farmer’s kids and town kids, children of educated parents and children of illiterates, from families with two cars and families with no cars. I showed up for the first day of class with new P.F. Flyers and a big box of crayons, one down from the one with the built-in sharpener, and other kids came with an 8 pack of crayons and wearing their older brothers outgrown shoes. _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ America was tougher then. War does that. Probably 3/5ths of the adult males had served in either WW1, II or Korea. America didn’t raise titty babies. We were the greatest country on Planet Earth, earned by tough stock. You start ya-yaaing and your first problem was your parents: even worse, your grandparents. _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ I don’t recall ever hearing of a parent running to the teacher or principal to protect their child from a bully. It was considered a rite of passage, something you just had to figure out. You could fight, back then. It was understood by everybody – teacher, principal, school board – everybody had been a kid just-the-other-day, and nothing cured aggression like aggression getting reciprocated. Honky Tonk bar fly mother or church piano playing mother, they all had the same advice, stand your ground, bullies are weak inside, you’ll only make it worse by letting them have their way. Many a kid went to school in total dread and came home elated after the bully went one straw too many and got popped in the nose and that cured Everything for All Time. Done. Worked for Old Testament kids and worked for New Testament kids and worked up until recently, when America caught whateveritcaught. _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ What could Deborah do? Poor little girl. You know those awful pictures of Wal-Mart people, and you think, where do these people live, what cave do they dwell in? I think those were Deborah’s parents. She had no choice; it’s only there-but-by-the-grace that our lives weren’t swapped. She came to school dirty. Her hair was unbrushed. Even so young, she slinked, in shame. It started at recess. We were playing Tag and it got cruel. I really don’t know who started it, but I’m putting it out there that I was part of the mob, and I was having fun…somebody ran and touched Deborah, like you’d touch something filthy, and said, “Deborah germs!” and we all ran away from the It person… I don’t know how long a recess was back then, but it must have felt like decades for Deborah. We were swirling around her, boys dashing by to touch the hem of her dirty garment, catching Deborah germs. The other girls stayed away, leaving Deborah alone, defenseless. Sonofabitch, but if I could take that back… _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ One day she just never came back to school. I have no idea where she went. _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ It was about this time that my little sister was born. We were at the hospital, me and Dad out looking at her through the glass walls of the nursery, when Dad said they were gonna name her Deborah. No! I nominated Wendy. Deborah held.

_____ _____ _____ _____ _____ To God above, the Father of Deborah, I am sooooooo sorry for being mean to one of your children. To Deborah, wherever you are, I Pray, that He made your wounds Strong, that the pain was for Something, something between you and He, a special Something, only arrived at through the Yea Though I Walk of the 23rd Psalm. I wouldn’t doubt that you don’t remember me, can’t remember me, slammed that vault shut and flushed the key; I’d understand that, Deborah. But I have not forgotten you. I think of you often, we ships in the night, you, a ship I did wrong. _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ It seems an odd time to bring up basketball in this story, but here goes. If ever I was an addict, it was to basketball. And to play basketball like I played basketball, you hadda play with The Brothuhs. I have a specific memory. I’m the one white guy in the gym. Might be two hundred brothuhs. It’s a big game and I’m on the floor and my being there is asking for lightning strikes. You gotta know a culture to know how they value insults. If a black dude calls you a motherf’er it ain’t no big deal. Believe that. It just ain’t. It’s nothing. But a black man calls a white man a bitch, now we getting somewhere. And punk. There’s teeth to punk, when it’s black to black, and damn sure there’s teeth when its black to white. And there I was, the white dude, the shooter, supposed to be raining treys, and from the stands they start on me, starts with one voice, Bitch, and I could hear the ooooh from all those voices, waiting to see how this plays out. _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ I’d like to tell you a lie here. Tell you that I did what I should’ve done. The minute that first Bitch got thrown my way I should’ve gone right after the voice. Hope a bluff would work, but be prepared to get one good lick before I got my righteous ass whupped. I didn’t. I never even looked that direction. By doing that, I asked for more. They rained on me, just some filthy crap, everything we hate about hate, and there I was, trying to keep my shoulders up and shut ‘em down by knocking down a three. Punk Ass Bitch. Ask a brothuh from back in the day. You got to throw down when somebody calls you that! King Kong big, don’t matter, you gotta throw down on dat! I didn’t. Like some sort of perverse psychological experiment, I subjected myself to a dunking in racism and hate, and bullying, and yes, Deborah crossed my mind. She took it. I can take it. _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ So where do I go now with this? There will always be bullies. There will always be strength and weakness, and as time plays out strength will often reveal itself to be weakness, and weakness will bind itself in healed wounds, blessed with time, and sometimes the best part of a person is the Broken Stuff. I have been a bully; I have been bullied. Both ways wound. We are not static. I report to you from Mid-Fifties. I can’t speak for Up-TheRoad, but from here, I feel like I’m on my fifth life. What is best about me now is only best because of pain. I have no particular respect for the parts of me that life hasn’t got after. I have no trust for anything about me that hasn’t been broke and had to heal. I hope that Deborah found the love of God. I hope He used her wounds to make her super-strong. I hope that she is Big Inside, that she is washed in Forgiveness. She, like me, was given a life, a time to-be, and I so regret that I was so small as to not see us as peers before our mutual Father. Knowing God, it’d be just about His speed to make a diamond out of her. _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ This edition of Uncle P’s Bedtime Stories is brought to you by Eighty-one, where you either get it or you don’t. Uncle P can be reached at 81creativity@gmail.com. www.BestOfSWLA.com

October 17, 2013

LAGNIAPPE

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