Los Angeles Loyolan April 10th, 2014

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Student groups march together to kick off 48-Hour Run/Walk

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Read what one student thinks about the ban on SAE participation.

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Check out what those crazy Midwestern students are doing about recent quakes.

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Sodexo leaves bad taste in students’ mouths LMU Dining has responded to multiple student concerns while many others go unreported.

Ali Swenson News Editor

@aliswenson

Emma Spiekerman | Loyolan

Magis, Latino Roundtable, De Colores and LMU’s Alternative Break programs collaborate to raise funds to build a home for a family in Tijuana, Mexico and a scholarship for Verbum Dei High School through the annual 48-Hour Run/Walk which began Tuesday. To read a question and answer session with Bryan Alamillo, the coordinator of the event, go to laloyolan.com

Sophomore sociology major Joey Tointon was four bites into his lunch at the Lair Marketplace last Friday, April 4, when he noticed a dark spot in the middle of his salmon.

With his fork, he pulled out what looked like a worm.

LMU’s on-campus dining services, supplied by Sodexo, provide “a wide variety of fresh, local and organic produce,” according to the LMU dining website. They promise “only the freshest ingredients” and “the strictest compliance standards” when it comes to special dietary and nutritional needs. Recently ranked 60th in the Sierra Club’s Top 100 list for Campus Dining, Sodexo at LMU is regularly making changes to make “every day a better day and every tomorrow a better tomorrow.”

But for students like Tointon, these assurances by Sodexo directly contradict personal experience. “[The worm] was dead,” Tointon said. “[Director of Operations for LMU Hospitality Wassim Boustani] was right by our table when I saw it, so I got him to come over. He looked at it and his first reaction was, ‘Oh, it’s a vein.’”

But when Tointon insisted that he thought it was a worm, Boustani went to investigate it under a microscope and upon his return, See Sodexo | Page 2

First-Gen students celebrate successes The First to Go community hosts its second annual First-Gen Awareness Week.

Kelsey Mangan News Intern @kmaaaan_

First-Generation Awareness week may only be in its second year, but it has shown no sign of a sophomore slump. The on-campus awareness programs from April 4 to April 10 celebrate and promote those who are the first in their families to go to college.

Organizers emphasize that it was important to use the momentum from last year’s success and allow it to motivate the first gen community to improve upon the events for this year.

The president of the First Gen Club, junior psychology major Mary Ludwig, said, “last year was so exciting, so this year we thought: How can we change things this year?”

In response, organizers have focused on making the week more about showing

the entire campus community what firstgeneration college students have to offer.

LMU’s First to Go community started the event, and the community itself was established on campus just four years ago by Academic Resource Center Director La’Tonya Rease-Miles. The First to Go Program “seeks to aid the transition of first-generation college students into the university,” Rease-Miles said.

The program started out with about 30 students, but now, four years later, the program boasts upwards of 200 students taking advantage of its community and services.

Adjunct English professor Stella Setka is one of the program coordinators in charge of this week, and she also identifies as a firstgeneration college student. She, and First to Go in general, are concerned that the general consensus of first-generation college students is that they are at a disadvantage compared to students from families with a history of college experience.

“We’re really focusing on strengths See First Gen | Page 3

LMU hosts Los Angeles County Sheriff debate

Emilia Shelton | Loyolan

Seven candidates for Los Angeles County Sheriff took part in a debate hosted by LMU’s Thomas and Dorothy Leavey Center for the Study of Los Angeles in University Hall’s Ahmanson Auditorium Tuesday at 4:45 p.m. The jail system was one of several topics discussed at the debate. The election will take place on June 3.

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Students second-guess campus dining Sodexo from Page 1

informed Tointon that it was a parasite.

While Boustani apologized, gave Tointon his business card and explained that he would take action to return the meat to Santa Monica where it came from, or let someone else know it happened, Tointon was left unsure of what action was actually going to be taken.

“I don’t know, because I think they continued to serve that salmon that day, which is kind of messed up,” Tointon said.

Tointon also had a negative experience with community table at the Lair recently.

“I noticed there was some leftover food or something on the top of the plate, so then I went to the second plate,” Tointon said.

“And there was a hair on the second plate. And I went to the third plate, and it still had oil and grease. None of the plates were fully clean.”

These two experiences have already changed Tointon’s eating habits on campus.

“Stuff on campus doesn’t sound as appetizing,” Tointon said. “I don’t want to go to Iggy’s, and I don’t want to go to the Lair as much as I used to, even when I’m hungry.”

In response to Tointon’s concern, Boustani explained that Sodexo food on campus goes through a rigorous process to get to students, and this type of incident is treated as a serious matter.

“All the food served in our operations follows a strict ‘delivery to plate’ safety program

called ‘HACCP,’” Boustani said.

“This process tracks the food’s temperature and cooking process from the time we receive an ingredient until the time it is used in a dish. In the rare event that something like this happens – this is the first such incident we’ve had at LMU – we work closely with our vendor to determine the cause and address the concerns.”

However, though Sodexo considered Tointon’s experience to be extreme, it was not an isolated incident – several other students at LMU have had similar problems with Sodexo food this year without reporting it to a manager.

Freshman screenwriting major Melissa Banks was dissatisfied with her food on campus twice in the first week of school this year.

“I ordered a pre-packaged salad and went to take the first bite, but I noticed there was a dead fly in it,” Banks said. “Around the same time, I ordered chicken from Ignite and ended up getting food poisoning from it.”

While Banks did not notify any Sodexo workers about the incident, it changed the way she ate on campus.

“I don’t eat the meat on campus anymore, except for the sandwich meat,” she said. “I also don’t buy the pre-packaged salads anymore.

I usually get the same thing from the Lair every time just because I know it won’t make me sick.”

Beyond Tointon and Banks’s issues with the food provided by Sodexo on campus, many students have been disappointed by the way employees in on-campus

restaurants prepare the food.

Sophomore business management major Calhoun Huntley ordered chicken tenders from Iggy’s Diner last Wednesday, April 2, to find that they weren’t sufficiently cooked.

“I ate one of the chicken fingers and then I looked at the second one, and it looked different,” Huntley said. “So I opened it up, and literally it was completely raw, like the [stuff] that you find in a package in a grocery store, just

I usually get the same thing from the Lair every time just because I know it won’t make me sick. straight up raw. Like a strip of this rawness.”

When Huntley approached the manager of Iggy’s Diner the next day, he received an apology, but no concrete answer on what would be done about it.

“I don’t know what changes he’s going to make,” Huntley said. “I mean, I’m not going to Iggy’s all year after that. It just makes you second-guess everything you eat on campus.”

After receiving Huntley’s complaint, Boustani explained that employees go through a training process to ensure things like this do not happen.

“All of our employees go through a thorough orientation when they are hired,” Boustani said. “Each

employee is retrained … annually, is trained on a ‘monthly safety topic’ once a month and is a part of daily ‘team huddles,’ where a food safety topic is discussed. If we find there was an error in the HACCP process, we work with the employee(s) involved to ensure that they are fully retrained.”

Boustani also informed the Loyolan that this was the first complaint about undercooked food that LMU Dining has received.

Yet other students, such as sophomore film production major Alixandra Saucier, cite multiple examples of unsuitably cooked food on campus.

“Last fall, probably November, I bought salmon from the healthy living station,” Saucier said.

“When I cut into it I realized it had only been cooked on the outside and the inside was completely raw. A few weeks after that, I got chicken from the same station, and there were pink undercooked areas.”

Saucier didn’t mention the incidents to any employees. While she feels some Sodexo employees are nice and genuinely try hard to make good meals for students, she has negative feelings about the food they make in general.

“I don’t really feel like anything is going to change,” she said.

Sophomore health and human sciences major Lacey Smith agrees that some workers are a positive influence on the LMU atmosphere, but that Sodexo food is not up to par with what students should be getting from their university.

“There are a few great workers

at Sodexo who I feel are trying to provide quality food to LMU students,” Smith said. “However, the overall quality of Sodexo food is not one that I would like to eat every day of my life.”

Whether the discrepancy between what Boustani hears and what students express about their dissatisfaction with campus food is due to students failing to report incidents, students not knowing how to report incidents or messages getting lost in translation, Boustani welcomes students’ comments and concerns.

“Students may call me personally or call our executive chef,” Boustani said.

The contact information for all the LMU hospitality staff can be found at dining.lmu.edu. Also on that website is a form to provide comments on the food quality and customer service LMU Dining provides.

Boustani also mentioned that Sodexo at LMU was the “proud recipient of the NSF International Food Safety Leadership Award and an NRA Operator Innovations Award Finalist in category of Food Safety.”

Despite what LMU dining promises to offer to students or which awards it has won, students like Tointon continue to trust their own experiences.

“I hear some of my friends [at other universities] complain that they get tired of the food, but I’ve never heard of serving raw meat or having a worm in the food,” Tointon said. “I’ve never heard that.”

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BURNING QUESTIONS

Campaign puts sexual assault on the line

This issue, Asst.

News Editor Julia Sacco sits down with senior marketing major Megan O’Meara, whose purse was stolen at LMU’s Senior Banquet.

1

Where and how did you get your purse stolen?

At the LMU Senior Banquet. I was cautious, and put it underneath a table to hide it. It is ironic because all of my friends who left their purses on the table didn’t get theirs stolen. I guess the thief must have liked a good game of hide and seek.

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What was your most valued item in the purse?

I would definitely say my iPhone.

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If you found the person who stole it what would you do?

You don’t even want to know.

4

We understand that you tracked your phone to LAX -- where did you find it?

I tracked my iPhone using the Find my iPhone app.

It showed that it was literally on the airport runway.

I still don’t know how the heck it ended up on the airport tarmac, but I sure hope the thief was headed somewhere fun.

5

Were the LAX employees helpful in finding your missing items?

Yes, the LAX Police Department was very helpful ... the Radisson security, not so much. I gave [the LAX police department] my login information to track my phone, and they did such a good job that they tracked my iPad instead and almost raided my internship office the next day. They got the devices a little mixed up on the app.

6

So you lost your purse forever, but were any of the items from inside saved?

They left behind my lipstick, so I was pretty pumped about that.

Did you still have fun at the Senior Banquet?

7

I had a great time at the event until I realized my entire purse was stolen.

8

What advice would you give someone in a similar situation to yours?

Today you can never leave your purse unattended anywhere you go. You may think it is safe to set it down for a second, but don’t. Ladies, be extremely careful with your purses, and do not let it out of your sight.

9

Is this the first time you’ve been a victim of a crime?

I wish I could say yes, but unfortunately, no.

Read the rest of Megan MORE O’Meara’s interview at laloyolan.com.

QUESTIONS

Talia Baugnon | Loyolan

The Healthy Relationships Initiative, Peer Educators and the Department of Public Safety worked together to sponsor the Clothesline Project, displaying T-shirts with messages spreading awareness about violence against women.

Events celebrate diversity rather than deficits,” Setka said.

“We are not necessarily a group that only has needs; we are a group that contributes to the wealth and diversity of campus life.”

The programs for this week have been shaped to reflect this sentiment.

Tuesday’s event titled “Mosaic: First-Generation Oral Histories” took place in the William H. Hannon Library VDA Suite, and was designed to function as a sort of human library, with individuals who identify as first generation stationed throughout the room.

Visitors could approach them to learn more

about their perceptions of who they are and where they want to go as a first-generation student.

Paired with this mosaic is an exhibit that features student self-portraits. These portraits are depicted purely through objects; it could be as simple as a UPS shirt or a more complex presentation of multiple things.

These portraits are meant to document how the student got to where they are at LMU. The centerpiece of the week is the First-Gen Café. This is considered to be the capstone of the week, in which the artwork, dance, music and all other artistic aspects of gifted first generations are showcased.

“Our focus was really to cast as

wide a net as possible in terms of events; the more applicable and varied they were to the student population, the better,” said Ludwig.

Ludwig and Setka both emphasized that these events have been designed to reach out to all LMU students in order to foster a greater sense of community at LMU. “At some point in our family trees and family histories, we’re all first gen,” Setka said. “It’s kind of the American story, so I think it’s important for everyone to realize that, if we really think of being an LMU community as a cohesive unit, we really need to celebrate that diversity in all its forms.”

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Board Editorials represent the voice of the Loyolan. They are written in collaboration by the Executive Editorial Board.

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n the past two months, three of the five and written entirely by students outside our most popular articles published by the regular editorial staff, and we are happy that Loyolan have been written by freelance people who are passionate about certain issues student contributors. are taking steps to do something about them “Service organizations: Serving students, by writing for the Loyolan. not the needy” by Audrey Liviakis; “Blaming While the success of our contributing writers the victim promotes rape culture” by Caitlyn has been astounding, we still encourage Handy; and “Ban on SAE participation does contributions and hope for even more new more harm than good” by Kim Tran are each voices to be expressed. All students have the columns that address very different issues. ability to see their words in print, whether it However, the important thing they have be in an editorial column, a news analysis or a in common is that they have all ignited sports article. Furthermore, anyone can voice relevant and widespread their reactions in a letter to conversations throughout the editor.

At the Loyolan, our aim the LMU community. After Whether all members is not to manufacture being published online, of the Loyolan personally each of these articles controversy, but to provide agree with the arguments received a great deal of a platform that facilitates put forward in editorials feedback, whether through or letters is unimportant. the expression of the comments on our website, After all, even staff diversity of voices and Facebook interactions, articles rarely represent Twitter retweets or letters opinions that makes up LMU. the Loyolan’s collective to the editor. opinion.

Nevertheless, At the Loyolan, our aim is not to manufacture the fact that we have been able to provide controversy, but to provide a platform that a platform for writers who are not formally facilitates the expression of the diversity of affiliated with the Loyolan to address issues voices and opinions that makes up LMU. And they are passionate about is something that while we at the Loyolan represent a wide makes us proud. array of opinions, we are not necessarily The Loyolan’s motto is “Your home. Your representative of the whole student body, let voice. Your news,” and the goal of every alone the entire LMU community. article we publish is to serve you – the LMU As a result, whenever we publish articles community. So email the editor of the section by contributors, it is because we believe for which you’re interested in writing, pitch a they have something important to say. All few ideas or send in a letter to the editor. We’re of the aforementioned articles were pitched waiting and ready to help your voice be heard.

Summon your inner extrovert George Gerro Contributor

@LoyolanOpinion

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have love for introverts and extroverts alike. In fact, I’ve been both. And, to some extent, we are all a combination of the two personality types. Ultimately, the difference comes down to the way dominant introverts do their best thinking and recharging alone, while dominant extroverts thrive in social settings and surround themselves with their peers.

According to a 1992 article, “The Secrets of Happiness,” published in Psychology Today, extroverts generally score higher on subjective happiness tests. This might be the case because positivity encourages social interaction – which extroverts seek – or because we live in a society that values extraversion. Conversely, introverts are less dependent upon others for stimulation, and less likely to feel lonely while alone.

Keep in mind, these are stereotypical traits.

Last year, the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (a personality test) quantified me as a 60 percent introvert, 40 percent extrovert.

Now, I write to you as a self-proclaimed 20 percent introvert, 80 percent extrovert.

This transformation began with a thought experiment: Imagine if you woke up tomorrow as the last person on Earth. Would you still want to live? I figure after a solid week of speeding in Rolls Royce Phantoms, and eating steak and lobster in the Oval Office, I would find that life is not worth living without other people, because people make life worth living.

After this realization, I no longer passed up an opportunity to hang out with the homies while doing homework. Homework was important, but it couldn’t show me happiness beyond a minor feeling of accomplishment. Sure, my résumé now looks like a blank piece of paper. Sure, I missed class and almost a midterm for a sevenhour date the other night. And sure, I’m low on alone time all the time. But it’s worth it.

Through our relationships with friends,

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lovers and even strangers, we experience the greatest highs possible. Aristotle was right about this one. He believed that anyone who lived in isolation from society was “either a beast or a god.” And if you are actually a god, please learn some humility.

I’ve always been blessed, but my social life sucked freshman year. Sophomore year I met four of my closest friends while taking opportunities I wouldn’t normally take.

Equipped with only my weak social skills, I pushed myself into uncomfortable situations by becoming a front desk worker and switching from an iPhone to a flip phone in attempts to be more social. I left the comfort of my dorm at 1 a.m. to roll the proverbial dice. And I got myself into some awkward conversations with 50-year-old men at Starbucks. These things happen.

All I’m saying is that experiences are better when shared. I would rather trade half of my goods for good company than consume them all by myself. Why? Social interactions add depth and unpredictability to everyday life. Textbooks are cool, but they generally don’t listen to me, challenge my assumptions or participate in wild laugh attacks.

Georgia Henderson | Loyolan

I propose that you ask yourself these questions: 1. How much time do you spend on work? 2. How much time do you spend with friends and family? 3. What’s the quality of time you spend on each? And finally, do your answers align with your values?

From a dude who loves reading and writing, I doubt I will look back on these years of my life wishing I had done more reading and writing. That’s what being old is for.

My newfound appreciation for fellow humans has made my life worth living, and I challenge you to seize social opportunities. Say hello to that stranger wielding good vibes. Use humor to attract the right people. Savor the awkwardness. Be sincere in your speech and actions. Remember people’s names (even if you have to write them down after asking for the third time).

These tips will feed your social life like a four-by-four with Animal Fries and a Neapolitan shake. In the meantime, I look forward to shaking your hand one day.

This is the opinion of George Gerro, a sophomore economics major from Burbank, Calif. Tweet comments to @LoyolanOpinion, or email dfeldman@theloyolan.com.

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Ban on SAE participation harmful Kim Tran

Contributor

@LoyolanOpinion

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MU prides itself on the unique education it provides – one not solely focused on academics, but rather the education of the whole person. Though I can speak to the numerous opportunities afforded to us by LMU that cater to this idea, the University does not seem to always practice what it preaches. The University Mission Statement states that the school “seeks to develop men and women for others. LMU encourages students, faculty and staff to identify with those living on the margins of society so that the intellectual inquiry and moral reflection endemic to university life will lead to meaningful work for transformative social change.”

Yet the school seems to have overlooked this.

Two weekends ago, there were several opportunities for meaningful work and contribution. On Saturday, March 29, both Relay for Life and Special Games were held on campus. Unfortunately, the men of Sigma Alpha Epsilon (SAE), the offcampus fraternity currently unrecognized by LMU, were not allowed to participate in either.

ASLMU’s Student Reserve Board Code defines an unregistered group as “a number of persons who are associated with each other and who have not complied with University requirements for registration or designation.” These groups are

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prohibited from participating “as a group in University or student group activities.” However, there were 29 teams registered for Relay for Life, five of which were comprised of groups of friends and community members not officially registered with the University. As a Relay for Life Committee member, I brought the point up to Asst.

Director of Student Leadership and Development and Greek Advisor Dan Faill, who responded, “Please feel free to encourage people to raise money individually. However you jeopardize the event as a whole by knowingly allowing unregistered groups to participate.”

Social work is not just about raising money; much of the purpose

is to come together to celebrate others and to encourage change.

This was the case regarding Special Games. According to Kc Catullo, junior accounting and marketing double major and current president of SAE, the fraternity volunteered for clean-up as to not qualify them as a “team.” It is saddening that students who genuinely want to give back must find creative ways to do so without being able to fully enjoy the experience. The worst part is that these groups never signed up under the name Sigma Alpha Epsilon or SAE. We must remember that without SAE, these men are still friends and individual students at LMU. Why must their association with SAE prohibit

their engagement in on-campus activities with one another? When I asked Faill if they could register under a name unrelated to SAE, he did not respond. According to Catullo, they have been pulled from other events such as CaptureA-Phi and intramural sports for which they registered under names unaffiliated with SAE. But what are the consequences of participation? According to Catullo, the burden is placed upon the hosting organization. Relay for Life, Special Games or Alpha Phi would be faced with consequences for hosting an unregistered group.

This could certainly explain why every Greek fraternity and sorority signed the document opposing

any recognition of SAE. Regardless of true feelings, under the pressure of the University, these student groups seem powerless to speak in any way except in accordance with the administration.

But the picture is much bigger than just SAE. As a school that prides itself on the education of the whole person, why does LMU stifle the education of its own students? I understand that SAE is an unregistered organization, which disqualifies it from receiving funding, being able to host on-campus events or representing the fraternity during these events. But if these students register as something other than SAE to do service as a group of friends, where is the issue?

Regardless of any student group’s status, it is hypocritical for the administration to prohibit the participation of any individuals in “intellectual inquiry and moral reflection endemic to university life [that] will lead to meaningful work for transformative change.” If we promote identifying with those living on the margins of society, why do we marginalize members of our own community? Further, why do we prohibit them from engaging in the work and social change that we encourage? The University believes in social justice, yet it participates in upholding the very power structures that stand in the way. If we want to pride ourselves on the unique education of the whole person, we must foster a community that allows for it.

This is the opinion of Kim Tran, a senior finance and communication studies double major from San Jose, Calif. Tweet comments to @LoyolanOpinion, or email dfeldman@theloyolan.com.

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Letters to the

EDITOR RE: “Blood Apple: Mineral conflict kills,” Monday, April 7, 2014, Page 4

Dear Executive Editoral Board: As an advocacy associate for the Enough Project, specifically working on the Raise Hope for Congo team, I would first like to thank you for covering the important issue of conflict minerals. I would also like to offer you, the students of LMU, the opportunity to make a difference on this issue by bringing the Conflict-Free Campus Initiative (CFCI) to your campus.

CFCI is a network of students at over 150 schools both in the U.S. and internationally who are working to bring about sustainable peace in Congo by raising awareness and passing resolutions on their campuses with the goal of supporting socially and ethically responsible mineral supply chains from eastern Congo.

After reading Monday’s article, it is clear to me that there is already an existing interest in this issue at LMU, and I would love to help foster that interest and turn it into real action. As students, you have the power to truly change the way companies do business in Congo. We have already seen great successes in the few years since the conflict-free movement began, with tech-giant Intel announcing in January the release of the world’s first certifiably conflict-free product containing minerals from Congo.

So far, 17 schools have passed resolutions that change their procurement policies and have sent a strong message to companies that conflict-free investment in Congo must be a priority. I hope to work with you to make LMU the 18th school on that list.

Annie Callaway

We want to hear from you! letters@theloyolan.com The Loyolan welcomes letters to the editor. All submissions must include the author’s first name, phone number, email address and year in school or relation to the University (i.e. alumnus, professor, etc). Submissions should be typed and no more than 300 words.

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‘Fast Girls’ opens as ‘naughty’ new show Del Rey Players’ new show merges sex, relationships and family into one comedic romp.

Cameron Tagge

Asst. Life+Arts Editor @camerontagge

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he Del Rey Players (DRP) – LMU’s student-run theatre company – hosts “Fast Girls” as the finale of their boundary-crushing 2013-2014 season. And they’re finishing with quite some style.

“Fast Girls,” written by New York-based playwright Diana Amsterdam, is a precursor to the American rom-com classic “Sex and the City.”

Lucy, played by junior theatre arts and English double major Rachel Rios, wants to keep her sexual freedom and fast-paced lifestyle.

Lucy’s roommate, Abigail, played by senior mathematics major Elizabeth Lund, and mother, Mitzi, played by junior theatre arts major Kristin O’Brien, want her to settle down into a monogamous lifestyle.

Like “Sex and the City,” the show is filled with comedy and is by no means just a “chic show.”

Senior theatre arts major Scott Bosely plays Sidney, Lucy’s ex-boyfriend, who likes to play it safe. “The cast has a blast every night with the show. The audience is guaranteed to as well,” said Bosely. Because Rios and Bosely are a couple off-stage as well as on, the audience gets to see some real chemistry brewing in their intense on-stage fights.

Lucy’s mother, Mitzi, comes to town to convince Lucy to settle down before it’s too late. Her bright idea: bring back ex-boyfriend Sidney. O’Brien admits, like her character Mitzi, she “gets a little crazy for the people she cares about.” That goes for all of us. However, O’Brien added, “Under all the crazy and zany, Mitzi really does want the best for her daughter.”

DRP’s director of events, senior theatre arts

Kevin Halladay-Glynn | via Del Rey Players

The Del Rey Player’s latest show, “Fast Girls” fuses “Sex and the City” raunchiness with comedy and chemistry, following the story of the young, single Lucy as she navigates her way through impending adulthood. The show opened last weekend and runs until April 12. and English double major Ranier Barrett, calls the show “funny, relatable, naughty [and] terrific.” She urges LMU students, faculty and staff to come enjoy the performance. “It’s a witty comedy that, at its core, tackles real questions about interpersonal relationships that are currently questioned at all stages of life.”

DRP made a fantastic choice producing “Fast Girls.” It steers from DRP’s traditionally

male-centric shows to one that puts women at the forefront, showcasing the talents of LMU’s actresses and the show’s director, senior theatre arts major Maggie Lima.

Sex jokes. Relationship difficulties. Feminism. Friendship. Love. Marriage. Relationship questions. Family. Fast-paced comedy.

More sex jokes. What’s not to love?

“Fast Girls” is sure to settle your pre-finals jitters. “It’s all giggles and good times for a

laugh-packed two hours. We’re just here to entertain,” Bosley said. Adding that, if that doesn’t get you there, “There’s a hot girl in her undies.”

The closing weekend of “Fast Girls” takes place April 10 through April 12.

This is the opinion of Cameron Tagge, a junior theatre arts and screenwriting double major. Tweet comments to @LoyolanArts, or email cchenelle@theloyolan.com.

laloyolan.com Page 8

Information by Ivetta Babadjanian, asst. Life + Arts editor; Graphic: Tyler Barnett | Loyolan

life+arts

Information by Chris James, senior editor; Graphic: Mo Haley | Loyolan

laloyolan.com Page 9

All content on this page is fictional. And no, Amanda Bynes still doesn’t go here.

Hunger Games at LMU: Parking edition LMU administration puts together battle to death for parking.

Prince James

Ruler of the LOY kingdom @pjamezloy

“May the odds be ever in your favor,” said President David W. Burcham, dressed to the nines as Effie Trinket from “The Hunger Games” series, at LMU’s first ever Reaping. No, LMU students are not fighting to the death for eternal glory. Instead, they are fighting to the death for guaranteed spots in Drollinger Parking Plaza for one full school year in the first annual “Parking Games.”

Since the institution of parking fees on campus to compensate for the lack of parking spots and assist with funding the construction of the Life Sciences building, LMU has come under fire from literally everyone and their mother about the way it has handled the sticky situation, so after much consultation, the administration decided to break the students into 12 “districts” and have two students from each district fight to the death on behalf of their district to have reserved parking spots in Drollinger.

“Out of all the recent attempts to work out this troublesome parking situation, having a ‘Hunger Games’ style death match for spots has actually been the least controversial option we’ve discussed yet,” said Coby Wagman, director of Parking

Kush Holidae Inn | Loyolan

Students remember what they are fighting for and have scoped out the best parking spots. The Parking Games are set to begin Friday, April 18 and will result in easier parking – for the winners. and Transportation, who has now been named the President of “The Capital.”

Senior Vice President for Student Affairs Lane Bove took up the task of Game Maker, which included breaking the population into 12 districts. Faculty and staff comprised the first district. It should be noted that adjunct faculty were not considered part of this district and were relegated

to District 11 instead. From here, housing areas were grouped into the rest of the 10 districts, with the Leavey Apartments taking richer districts such as District 2 and McKay Hall named District 12, the poorest district. Off-campus and commuting students were not allowed to compete, and their names were not entered into the Reaping.

Bove is hard at work designing the

brutal arena in which the 24 lucky students will face off. However, she was not able to talk to us about what we might see.

“We’ve decided to take out Hannon parking lot to build the arena for the games,” said Bove.

“We estimate at least half of the competitors will be angered into a state of severe confusion and exhaustion almost immediately, making the games go infinitely

faster.”

Training is well underway, and it looks like District 1’s tributes, newly-hired basketball coach Mike Dunlap and newly appointed Dean of Bellarmine College of Liberal Arts Serena Williams are clearly ahead of the game due to exclusive access to gym and training facilities.

However, rumor has it there is some talent brewing in the slums of McKay Hall, where tributes such as sophomore studio arts major Peeta Smith and junior women’s studies major Katniss Jones are preparing for the Parking Games in highly unorthodox methods.

“In terms of strength training, we’ve carried all of our luggage up and down the four floors of McKay,” said Smith.

When asked why they are willing to risk their lives for parking, Jones offered up a battle cry: “It is for honor. It is for dignity. Never again will we drive around Drollinger after paying $760 for parking and find that there are no spots left, even in valet. Never again will we be late for class,” said Jones.

Unfortunately, students participating in the Parking Games are not excused from class and are estimated to be missing at least half of their classes in the quest for secured parking.

The start of the games is set for Friday, April 18 at 8 p.m. Turn your TVs to ROAR Network for 24/7 broadcast or, if you are like most college students and don’t have a TV, you can watch a live feed online at laloyolan.com.

Students demanding more earthquakes Students turn to LMU administration to supply more earthquakes.

Jordan Sernia Loyolan Vandal @jsernz

Students can be seen across campus, protesting by standing in door frames, sitting in open spaces and calling for more earthquakes. Things have taken a terrifying turn, as now more students than ever before are boycotting classes in order to join the demonstrations.

Led by sophomore marketing major Charles Gorkin from Dayton, Ohio, the near-riots were set in motion by a group of Midwestern students who had never felt an earthquake until they moved to California. Gorkin leads the group, Students for Quakes (S4Q).

“We’ve never felt a quake before! Two big ones in a month?

What? That 5.1 last week was so fun,” yelled Gorkin to a growing crowd in Lawton Plaza. “We will not stop until we get what we want. We will keep skipping class. We will keep blocking door frames. And damn it, we will ‘quake’ until we get what we want.” Charles and the crowd then began to jump up and down and stomp their feet in a thunderous ritual deemed “quaking.”

The number of S4Q members is growing rapidly, rising by over 40 percent between the two

latest quakes. President David W. Burcham has tried to make peace with them, but they don’t seem ready to agree on terms and conditions.

“I mean who can really blame them?” said Burcham.

“Earthquakes are really cool. They are pretty darn fun. But there is a line, and they have definitely crossed it.” According to Burcham, S4Q members have started to demand more earthquakes and become increasingly threatening.

“It’s becoming dangerous. Just last week, I received a very, very frightening letter from them.”

The letter was sloppily made from pasted magazine letters and read: “If there are no earthquakes to knock over your stuff, there’s us.”

Last week it was reported that Gorkin and his cronies broke into the room of a freshman San Francisco native who wishes to remain anonymous for safety reasons. The terrified individual claimed they burst in while he was asleep and proceeded to jump around and knock over loose items. They shook his bed frame, declaring, “Californians are selfish for taking all of the cool natural disasters!”

People are starting to urge LMU administration to appease the S4Q members demanding more “shaky, shaky fun.” But according to Article Five of the Students for Quakes Manifesto, the only way the rift between S4Q and LMU will mend peacefully is if the University “takes a chance, makes a change, and quakes away.”

Horris Cat | Loyolan

*The Bluff is a humorous and satirical section published in the Loyolan. All quotes attributed to real figures are completely fabricated; persons otherwise mentioned are completely fictional. The content on this page is the work of Staff Writer Nick Logsdon, Senior Editor Christopher James, Cartoonist Hector Carranza and Photo Editor Kevin Halladay-Glynn.

sports

Page 10

Soccer shoots to Tennis to face WCC foe recruit strong M. Tennis from Page 12

W. Soccer from Page 12

Camacho is another left-footed athlete and All-Baseline League selection all four years of high school. Although Angelone only played on her prep squad for two years, she won six straight Arizona State Championships, playing with the Serena ’96 Girls White club.

Moving to the offense, the Lions will be receiving Madison Medved, Brett Cook and Emma Tyrnauer.

The three girls, all from the Northern California De Anza 95G club soccer team, will bring their chemistry onto the Lions squad.

These strong bonds are only strengthened by the fact that Medved will be joining her older sister and current junior midfielder Brianne Medved. “I’m excited to be able to be there for my sister during her transition into college life and make sure her freshman year is a good one,” Medved said. “And, of course, to be able to play with her since we have the same background and familiar style of play.”

The last players to be added to the incoming group of freshman players are midfielder Sage “Keala” ParkerLee from Sacred Hearts Academy in Honolulu and forward Sarah Sanger from Los Alamitos High School. Parker-Lee ranked second in her league in 2013 and was a fouryear varsity letter winner. She was selected to be on the 2014 Senior All-Star Team after being named an Interscholastic League of Honolulu All-Star in 2011.

Sanger led her Los Alamitos team the past two seasons in goals and assists, and was named Offensive Player of the Year in 2013. Sanger’s comfortable nature on the ball and ability to get through defenses made her a standout forward in Myers’ eyes and a desirable asset to the incoming class of freshmen.

After all the searching and drafting the past couple years, Myers and her coaching staff finally have recruited these 10 talented and charismatic players to fill in the cleats of the departing seniors.

In the midst of it’s loss, the team optimistically awaits the positive energy that the fresh and eager newcomers will bring to the team.

“I think we had a really good class last year. They were really strong. We are losing quite a few starters, but with them going out and a new class coming in, I think we have a chance to rebuild a whole new chemistry on the team, which I think could be helpful in our future,” said redshirt junior Jenni Benger.

Although the team is saying goodbye to a large senior class, it says a great deal about the LMU women’s soccer program. “A lot of programs and a lot of recruits have come onto campus and have been impressed with that number, because it means you have that many kids staying with your program versus other places where that number dwindles,” said coach Myers.

to go into both like they’re the toughest one,” said sophomore player Cristobal Rivera. Van Kann and Rivera have played doubles together this season and currently sit 5-1 on the year.

Of the two teams, both Rivera and van Kann agreed the game against Pacific presents the greatest test. “I know Pacific got a lot better, so I think they’ll be the tougher match,” Rivera said, with van Kann adding, “We played some of Pacific’s players in the fall and lost, so this is going to be one of the toughest matches in the conference.”

The Lions have been stellar on their home court this season, but less so on the road, where both of this weekend’s matches will be held. When asked for reasons why there is such a discrepancy between the club’s 4-3 away record and their 9-4 home record, Lloyd seemed unconcerned, citing only weather conditions, which can affect the ball’s flight path, and injuries to key players at inopportune times for the team’s losses on the road.

In fact, as Rivera mentioned, the Lions “get closer as a team” when presented with the hostile crowds and long trips that away games frequently entail. The whole team seemed to agree, quite confidently, that there is no reason the setting of these next two games should affect their ability to pull out victories: “I think we deserve these two wins and can get both of them,”

said Rivera.

Of course, these games carry some extra meaning for the team as the start of the WCC tournament creeps closer. And despite early first-round exits the past two years, the Lions are nothing but eager. From the coaching staff to the players, the team feels ready for the competition that awaits and the future of the program, none more so than van Kann, who has experienced the agony of defeat and disappointment in this competition before.

“I’m very excited,” said van

Kann. “The last two years, we didn’t win one round. We always lost the first match. I feel like that’s not going to happen this year.” Coach Lloyd agrees, and feels the team has as good a chance as any other school in the WCC. One thing is for sure: These Lions aim to make the school proud. Van Kann added, “We actually have a chance to get to the finals at least, if we’re playing our best.”

If the Lions are able to finish strong in these last two games, they will be in a good position for the WCC tournament.

LION SPORTS

laloyolan.com Page 11

Anticipation for World Cup builds Ruizy Does It from Page 12

that will be geared toward Brazil in the aftermath of the recent Winter Olympics and their questionable handling in Sochi, Russia.

The 2014 Sochi Olympics saw the media focus on Russia’s stray dogs, poor living conditions, anti-gay legislation and other #SochiProblems. Not only did Russia fail to finish preparing for the Olympics, but most of Sochi has since seen a massive economic downturn with many areas of the city turning into ghost towns. Perhaps the most alarming consequence was how quickly the Ukrainian revolution and the Russian invasion of Crimea occurred – right after an event that is supposed to highlight universal togetherness.

Unfortunately, given the reports that have been made over the past years, it looks as though Brazil’s reputation as host is heading in the same direction as Russia’s; its slow progress in preparation for the World Cup seems to be no different.

Since Brazil was announced in 2007 to be the host nation for the 2014 World Cup, there have been many delays in the building of stadiums, problems with airport security, public protests and more issues surrounding the upcoming tournament. Even with seven years to prepare for this, Brazil is still left scrambling to finish preparations and complete the stadiums with 63 days left until Brazil’s opening

Associated Press

With two months left until the international tournament, stadiums are still nowhere near completion. With the recent failures of the Sochi Olympics looming in the minds of sports fans, Brazil is rushing to make sure they will be a great host for both the 2014 World Cup and the 2016 Summer Olympics. game against Croatia. Will we see history repeat itself and see #BrazilWorldCupProblems trending worldwide?

Even more concerning is the number of public protests that have occurred. The people of Brazil are angry about the huge amount of money being spent to build such ostentatious stadiums, instead of on reducing poverty, improving education and refining health care.

Numerous Brazilians argue these stadiums might not even be useful after the World Cup ends, so the huge investment

is a waste of resources. The negativity surrounding the preparations has grown so high it’s possible public protests will occur at the stadiums during the World Cup. The same events happened during the Confederations Cup as Brazilians across the country were protesting the poor transportation infrastructure of Brazil, among other key issues.

So what is there left to do in the next 63 days? All Brazil can really do is finish what it has started and hope for the best in the next couple of months. Perhaps this

work put into the World Cup tournament will also contribute to a quicker and more successful preparation for the 2016 Summer Olympics in Rio de Janeiro.

Although there have already been some setbacks with Brazil’s role as host of the World Cup, this tournament still has the potential to be the best one yet.

Brazil has long been a major powerhouse and can bring success to the tournament with its passion for the jogo bonito.

It will also be a great time to watch players on the Brazilian soil that breeds so much passion

for the game. Players all around the globe are gearing up to play.

Stars like Neymar of Brazil, Lionel Messi of Argentina, Cristiano Ronaldo of Portugal, Michael Bradley of the United States, Bastian Schweinsteiger of Germany and more will be at the top of their game. It will be a joy to watch these athletes play some great football, provided they have a stadium to play in.

This is the opinion of Karen Ruiz, a freshman political science major from Long Beach, Calif. Tweet comments to @LoyolanSports, or email kruiz@theloyolan.com.

Page 3

sports LIONBITES BASEBALL This past Tuesday, LMU baseball played Long Beach State and blew them away with a 8-2 victory. Senior Carlos Fuentes LMU Athletics pitched for the first three innings, striking out two and only giving one run. Freshman Brenton Arriaga took over in the fourth for the next five innings, letting up three hits and holding Long Beach to one run. Freshman Tyler Cohen finished the game in the ninth inning with a strikeout. A strong game of pitching was backed up with a powerful offense coming from the Lions at bats. David Edwards hit his first home run of the season in the fifth. The team is now 8-4 in the West Coast Conference.

(WCC).

M. BASKETBALL New Head Coach Mike Dunlap announced Wednesday, April 9 that he would be joined by Patrick Sandle who will be the new assistant coach for the LMU men’s basketball team.

Sandle is a Los Angeles native and has 25 years of coaching experience prior to taking this job. Sandle has also coached in Pennsylvania for 10 years for the Pittsburg Panthers.

For daily LION BITES, like Loyolan Sports on Facebook and visit laloyolan.com/sports.

SCORES UPDATE BASEBALL

LION

19-14

M. TENNIS

19-17

W. TENNIS

WCC: 8-4

SPORTS

SOFTBALL

13-7

WCC: 4-2

WCC: 0-3

7-12

WCC: 1-5

Follow us on Twitter @loyolansports for up-to-date scores.

Page 12

LOS ANGELES LOYOLAN | April 10, 2014 | laloyolan.com

Myers recruits strong class

Josh Kuroda | Loyolan

The LMU women’s soccer team gathers for a team cheer on their Senior Night in the fall of 2013. Although sad to say goodbye to seniors, the team is excited for the incoming recruiting class to bring new talent and chemistry to the fall 2014 season.

Women’s soccer looks to bolster lineup after losing graduating class of 10 seniors.

Kassia Stephenson Asst. Sports Editor @ksteph17

Third-year Head Coach Michelle Myers has been working hard with her coaching staff to get together a strong group of girls to replace the talented class of 10 graduating this spring.

The incoming recruits look promising for

the future of the women’s soccer program.

“We’ve got players coming in in every position that are going to be able to help us,” said Myers.

She hopes the 10 incoming girls will add great depth to the new team.

Charlee Pruitt and Hannah Harrah are defenders joining the team in the fall.

Pruitt was named four-time All-Baseline League selection, three-time team captain and Baseline-League MVP Honors in 2014 throughout her high school career on the Alta Loma soccer team. Harrah was a four-sport athlete at San Marcos Senior High School, where she was awarded all-city and allcounty honors, and All-Channel League.

Oregon prep standouts Lexi Frey and Jill Farley will add to the LMU’s defense. Farley was named Oregon Sports Awards Prep Girls Soccer Player of the Year, and Frey was one of the three finalists for the award. The two girls won championships for their high school teams as well as their club soccer teams, and both are left-footed. These commonalities indicate that the two may be a strong defensive duo.

In addition, left back Aubrielle Camacho from Los Osos High School and center back Raquel Angelone from Chaparral High School will be joining the team’s defensive line.

#Brazil World Cup Men’s tennis on ‘hot-streak’ Problems?

Ruizy Does It

LMU men’s tennis has gained momentum and is focusing on finishing strong in conference

Karen Ruiz

Andrew Rezk

@ruizydoesit

@loyolansports

Asst. Sports Editor It’s no secret that the Brazilians love soccer. The joga bonito, or the beautiful game, is a part of Brazil’s blood. Having five World Cup wins under its belt and legends such as Pelé, Ronaldo (not Cristiano Ronaldo), Ronaldinho and current star Neymar, brings a lot of pride to the country.

Starting June 12, the world will forget the time it heard the buzzing vuvuzelas in South Africa four years ago. For the first time since 1950, Brazil will reintroduce the world to the pulsing, popular samba music as it hosts the 2014 FIFA World Cup. People across the globe have high expectations for this particular World Cup, following a 2010 World Cup that was successfully hosted by a lively South Africa. Not only will the pressure be on the Brazilian national team to win its sixth World Cup at home, but also on the country itself as it hosts the event.

Holding a huge sporting event, such as the Olympics or the FIFA World Cup, is an incredible honor for any country that wins the bid. As a result of the special sporting event, Brazil is expected to experience a lot of tourism and economic activity.

What makes this upcoming World Cup even more suspenseful is the critical focus See Ruizy Does It | Page 11

See W. Soccer | Page 10

Contributor

The LMU men’s tennis team is entering the home stretch of what may be its most successful season yet. Since starting the season 4-5, the team has been on fire, going 9-2 over their past 11 games. When asked about the team’s shaky start, junior Felix van Kann said, “We didn’t start off very badly. We were still trying things out, and we had a couple of tough opponents.”

But what has keyed the recent hot streak?

“Honestly, I think the groove came in after a while. Right now, we’re in a very good state, maybe the best I’ve experienced at LMU,” said van Kann.

The squad will look to keep the momentum going this weekend against Saint Mary’s and Pacific University, this Friday and Saturday, respectively, in the season’s final two conference games.

And with a 4-3 record in conference, the significance of these two contests is apparent to Head Coach Tom Lloyd, who bluntly stated, “Every match is important.

We’re looking to make a name for ourselves in conference, and we’ve got a great opportunity on the road against two tough teams.”

And while the significance is not lost on LMU, neither is the difficulty of the challenge that awaits them: “We’re going See M Tennis | Page 10

Josh Kuroda | Loyolan

Doubles partners sophomore Cristobal Rivera (right) and junior Felix van Kann (5-1) celebrate a court win that contributed to a 6-1 match victory against Grand Canyon