GNI Mag Issue 16 by GNI MAG

THE AWARD WINNING LOCAL LGBT MAG AVAILABLE IN PRINT IN NI & ROI AND ONLINE Around THE WORLD

GNI your local LGBT mag Issue 16 | April / May 15 | £2.95 / €3.95

s club are back

Jon lee Ian parks Where the bears are and.... DROPPED FROM BOOK DEAL Christian author Brandan Robertson

Gay, Deaf and Drag Jamie tells his story

PAM Ann

Queen of the sky

the Conscience clause what does it

actually mean?

YOUR VOTE counts SDLP, SINN FéIN and THE GREEN PARTY GIVE US THEIR VIEWS ON LGBT ISSUES

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CONTENTS 10

Roundup - what’s been happening

Kitsch bitch - answers your problems

Pam Ann - Queen of the skies

Ian Parks - Where the Bears Are

Jon Lee - S Club Seven

brandan robertson - gay christian author

Jamie Rea - gay deaf and Drag

TRIED AND TESTED - we give things a go

fashion - summer daze

Get the Look - the looney look

The goscars - we were there

dating - still single then?

Our big day - stephen and Pascal

Parallel - brilliant new local business

Gender Essence - find out what they’re about

surrogacy, same sex parenting & what sex is for

The Conscience Clause - no gays allowed

let them eat cake - it’s our third birthday

Who are ya? - Paul Kavanagh talks to us

Coming out - marty from belfast tells his

a v Perry - the latest in her life

Tom talks - your vote counts

fitness - the kettle bell swing

what’s THE CRAIC - what’s on guide

From the editor’s desk. Well, it’s all been kicking off eh. The referendum in ROI and cakegate in NI. We’ve been keeping an eye on it all as it unfolds. It’s been making me angy and sad at the same time, watching as all these people, who are passionate about their thoughts, give views on why me, and my peers should be treated differently from those who were born hetrosexual. Angry that they think they have the right to choose who I should be, love and marry - and what it should be labelled. Sad because I genuenly thought we were getting past that. Maybe I just live in a big pink bubble, wearing rose tinted glasses. It brings it home to me why I chose to surround myself with mostly LGBT people, it’s safer, more reassuring and I suppose comfor ting to know that we are all facing the same struggles - together. In this issue Tom Vonier gets down with leading NI politcal par ties to find out their thoughts on issues that affect us. Gavin from The Rainbow Project explains in simple terms what the Conscience Clause would actually mean to us all. SJ, our resident straight guy gives his opinons on those names I’m sure we’ve all been called, some of which we’ve embraced and liberated to be terms of our own. And Alicia fills us in on what’s new in her world. We were chuffed to the balls when Pam Ann agreed to chat with us and be our cover star for this issue. Go read her interview - do it in a public place, people will be wondering what you’re laughing at. Ian Parks from Where The Bears Are tells us about the upcoming season 4, and Jon Lee tells us about S Club 7 getting back togehter (ain’t no par ty like an s club par ty). Last but not least, the Goscars. GNI mag were nominated for two this year; Best Online Contribution and Best Media Contribution. Team GNI got ourselves all dickied up for the night and headed along, read how it went. Enjoy. Tony

ALL THOSE WHO MADE THIS ISSUE HAPPEN In-House Team: Tony Day - Editor Beth Evans - Sub Editor Fred Scott - Accounts Big Bad Llama - Photos

Contributors: Alicia Perry - AV Perry SJ Wilson - Straight EyeElaine O’Shea - It’s a Girl Thing Bliain Fitzpatrick - Bliain’s World Michael J Lennon - Fitness

Contributors Continued... Conleth Kane - Recommends Jordan & Diona - Comedy Tony Webster - Fashion Lewis Cameron - GTL Tom Vonier - Tom Talks Trevor Mar tin - Surrogacy...

Special Thanks: Pam Ann Ian Parks Jon Lee Brandan Rober tson Aidie & all at Anthology Pascal and Stephen

Special Thanks ctd.... Paul Kavanagh Mar tin Kearney Gavin Boyd/Rainbow Project Keira McCormack Rebecca Pedlow Hybrid Gym

And a big thanks to all of the businesses who advertise with GNI GNI is produced by Lamb Promotions Ltd. . 145 Holywood Road, Belfast, BT4 3BE . 028 9065 4314 . sales@lambpromotions.com

All submissions to GNI are made on the basis of permission to publish the submission in GNI and its licensed editions worldwide. In the case of a picture selection, the editor’s decision is final. Any material sent is at the owner’s risk and although every care is taken neither Lamb Promotions or its agents shall be liable for loss or damage. We take great care to make sure all elements of GNI are accurate. However we accept no liabilty for any misprints that appear in this magazine. You should seek professional advice prior to following any advice offered in this publication. Lamb Promotions Ltd 2015 page 8 | gnimag.com

the

Roundup To celebrate Valentine’s Day this year, a number of people from across London staged a mass gay kiss-in in Picadilly Circus. Several same-sex couples locked lips in front of the statue of Eros for the protest. The kiss-in occurred after research by Pride in London found that around 54% of same-sex couples do not feel comfor table kissing in public. The Chairman of Pride in London, Michael Salter said, “Last year we saw a record breaking Pride in London as hundreds and thousands of people rallied together to celebrate the city’s diversity and call for greater equality. This year, we are calling for par ticipants in the Pride Parade to celebrate the heroes in their lives who have encouraged them to be themselves and have championed for the LGBT rights and the freedoms that we enjoy today and other that still need to be fought for like the freedom to show affection in public in the same was as anybody else.” In November 2014, the Finnish Parliament passed a citizens’ initiative on same-sex marriage, following a number of previous defeats. On 20th February 2015, Finnish President Sauli Niinistö signed the initiaitive into law (the first ever time an initiative has become law in the country). The initiative gained momentum after a public petition in its favour garnered over 167,000 signatures. Unfor tunately for same-sex couples hoping to marry in the country, the law will not come into force until at least 1st March 2017 due to legal changes required. Indiana governor, Mike Pence signed the ‘Religious Freedom Restoration Act’ in a private ceremony that took place on 26th March. Many opponents of the bill fear that it could legalise discrimination against lesbian, gay, bi-sexual and transgender people. Mike Pence commented, “Today I signed the Religious Freedom Restoration Act’, because I suppor t the freedom of religion for every Hoosier of every faith. The Consitution of the United States and the Indiana Constitution both provide strong recognition of the freedom of religion but today, many people of faith feel their religious liber ty is under attack by government action.” Laverne Cox has been named among ‘Top 99 Most Outstanding Women’ by men’s website AskMen.com. The trans actress was ranked number 16 on the list, which was topped this year by Emma Watson. For the past 15 years, the list has been known as ‘Top 99 Most Desirable Women’. The name change is intended to shift focus from appearances and desirability to women’s achievements. “We wanted to steer away from ‘hot’ lists and highlight women who have demonstrated a sheer influence in their industry. We were looking for women who are doing something new this year, something that demonstrates their versatility and raw talent”, said AskMen publisher, James Bassil. Elsewhere on the list are the likes of Lady Gaga (#58), Angelina Jolie (#47), and Cara Delevigne (#66). . Convicted murderers, Mikhail Gallatinov (40) and Marc Goodwin (31), became the first same-sex couple to marry behind bars. The men, who are both serving life sentences in Full Sutton prison in East Yorkshire, are the first gay couple to be married in a prison after the equal marriage act was introduced last year. Last year, ‘Independence Day’ director Roland Emmerich anounced that he was making ‘Stonewall’, a film depicting one man’s politcal awakening, set in the context of the 1969 Stonewall Inn riots. The film recently secured a distribution deal, and is set to be released in the autumn. The film’s stars include Jeremy Irvine, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Ron Perlman, and Jonny Beauchamp. Emmerich commented, “I was always interested and passionate about telling this impor tant story, but I feel it has never been more timely than right now.” Iconic Eurovision stars Dana International and Conchita Wurst performed together for the first time, making Eurovision history. The pair sang a cover of ABBA’s ‘Waterloo’ as par t of the Eurovision Song Contest’s 60th Anniversary Show. Dana International became the first ever transgender person to win the contest when she took home the crown for Isreal in 1998, while Austrian Conchita Wurst became the first ever drag queen to win the contest last year.

February 14 Mass KISSIN’

february 20 Yes for finland

March 26

‘Anti-gay’ Indiana

March 27

Laverne Makes the List

March 28

Convicted Murderers Married & Stonewall Silver Screen

March 31

Euro Fabulous

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Pam Ann the queen of the skies

gnimag.com | page 15

Airhostess, we LOVE the way you dress. Introducing GNI’s FABULOUS cover star, the one and only Pam Ann! Here’s what we know about The First Lady of the Skies. Australian comedian Caroline Taylor first had the idea for her feisty alter ego, Pam Ann, whilst attending a fancy dress party in the mid-nineties in her native Melbourne. Reid, who was dressed as a flight attendant, was hailed as ‘PAM ANN’ by an inebriated friend... and voila! Pam Ann was born. Pam Ann (a clever twist on the once global brand, Pan American) started out on the club performance circuit but has since drawn in huge crowds at world-famous venues such as the London Palladium and The London Hammersmith Apollo, and has recently relocated to NYC to expand her fan base stateside. Caroline flies all over the world as Pam Ann, playing sellout tours to adoring fans in the UK, Europe, Iceland, Canada, Australia, and the USA. The hilariously contemptuous hostess identifies the unique quirks and odd nuances that go hand in hand with air travel, whilst dressed in superbly ostentatious, 70s style stewardess outfits. Caroline’s sassy, sardonic signature character is joined by a slew of other humorous stewardesses including Lilly (Singapore Airlines) who values her Gucci handbag over passenger safety; Donna (EasyJet), ‘the chav’; the exuberant Italian, Vespa (Alitalia); snobby fashionista, Chantal Jemeladonne (Air France); and Clodagh (Ryanair), an Irish flight attendant, who frequently shouts out “I love my job”. Being the super-glam, super-sassy queen

that she is, Pam Ann is certainly no stranger to the VIP lifestyle. Not only has she made appearances in Runway UK and Britain’s Next Top Model, but she also provided the in-flight entertainment at David Furnish’s 40th birthday bash, and accompanied Cher on her Farewell tour… SO JEALOUS! In Australia, Pam Ann starred in her own TV Talk Show, ‘The Pam Ann Show’, and this year she is once again set to host Australia’s live coverage of Mardi Gras. Her comedic performances have also granted her a spot in a British Airways internet viral-marketing campaign, an appearance in a Scandinavian Airlines advert, her Live DVD ‘Come Fly With Me’ is screened as part of Qantas’s in-flight programming. In 2010, Pam Ann performed on JetBlue’s first ever JetPride flight #1969 (to mark the Stonewall Riots) – a first for any US carrier – from San Francisco to Long Beach for the Long Beach Pride. Indeed, Caroline is a longtime supporter of all things LGBT, commenting, “I’ve never really hung out in straight clubs. I’m not gay, but it’s just never interested me: straight people, straight clubs. I’m always at a gay club. Have been all my life.” We bleeding love her, and one thing’s for sure; Pam Ann is here for the long haul. Let’s hear from the woman herself… Describe your first travelling experience… I was 12 years old traveling as an unattended minor on TAA ‘The Friendly Way’, the now defunct Australian airline from Melbourne to Sydney approximately an hour’s flight. I just remember thinking how glamorous and friendly the airhostess was and I wanted to be just like her. When did you move to New York, and how does it compare to the other cities where you have lived?

I left London for NY in 2009. I love the optimistic mentality of NY and the USA and the ‘YES WE CAN’ attitude, dreams can come true in America if you work your ass off. London is a wonderful city where I lived for 10 years (My Mum is actually from Liverpool). It was just time to leave London and experience NY as I always wanted to live in NY – it is where my hear t is. What has been your favourite holiday to date? Mykonos is my favorite place in the world to holiday. Every year I go to Mykonos and every one of those holidays is my favorite. What has been your most disappointing holiday to date? I don’t have any disappointing holidays I am grateful to be anywhere to be honest. Nothing disappoints I see everything with rose-colored glasses. Can you tell us your top 10 destinations worldwide? NY Paris Amsterdam Mykonos Miami Los Angeles Phnom Penh Sydney Berlin London What five items do you always have to bring away with you? iPhone, headphones, Elizabeth Arden Eight hour Cream, Xanax, Ruby Woo MAC lipstick. What inspires you to travel? Life is too shor t so you have to do as much as you can. I try and fit as much into my life as Beyoncé. What are your top travel tips? Just go with the flow, have no expectations and like

the title of Henry Rollins book ‘Smile, You’re Traveling’. What are your views on people who travel in economy class? I love a sausage roll up the back in economy on Qantas. The people up the back are much more sexy in my view. And those in first class? The people in First Class are usually entitled c**ts and old men. Describe your ideal airline… Consistency, friendly but not too familiar, able to read your mind and the entire aircraft is fully flat beds with swimming pools and puppies on board to play with. Can you give us your best safety briefing? Scream and run like a girl on fire END. What has been your best show to date? Paris 2012 Alhambra Theatre. You’ve been quoted as saying “my life is gay”… what draws you to gay clubs and bars over ‘straight’ venues? I’m a gay man. Would you like to give a special shout out to all your gay fans? You’re all a bunch of c**ts. GNI AIRLINES… You’re on a flight bound for Sitges on the world renowned and highly prestigious GNI Airlines (only the elite are allowed to fly with us). What would you do if… There was major turbulence… Laugh hysterically. One of your fellow passengers let out a very loud, very smelly fart? Laugh hysterically. A member of the cabin crew elbowed you in the face as they walked by? I could do with an elbow in my face sometimes. If the man of your dreams sat down beside you? F*ck him. If you got on the wrong flight – live with it or freak out? Love it! If the pilot asked you to see his cockpit? I’m always in the cockpit. You were asked to join the mile high club? I founded it. You were mistaken for a GNI airhostess? No idea what you’re talking about. If the nuts were hairy? I love hairy salty balls.

page 18 | gnimag.com

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where the bears

are

e r a s r a e b e h t e r e h w

Ian Parks

e r a s r a e b e h t e r e h w page 20 | gnimag.com

gnimag.com | page 20

ian

I A N P A R K S Y D D O T OT Where the Bears Are is the L.A.-based comedy-mystery web series that has had us gripped from the start. The quirky, independent, bold, bear-beautiful show is unique in its production, and remains the project of its sole creators (Rick Copp, Joe Dietl and Ben Zook) who star in and write the entire series. After the success of the premier season, the Where the Bears Are gang set up a crowdfunding campaign on Kickstarter. Fans put their hands in their pockets, allowing for the filming of the second season, which was later named ‘Best Gay Web Series of 2012’ by both AfterElton.com and LGBT blog Queerty. The Bears have since completed their third season and continue to raise funds for future WTBA antics! GNI was lucky enough to get talking to Ian Parks (Hot Toddy!) about his life, his acting career, his role on the popular web series, all that hair, and of course, his love life! How did you get started in acting? As my mother would say, I was always quite the “little performer”. I was the kid who you could hear louder than anyone else on the playground. So I was encouraged to do school plays and musicals growing up, probably to help channel my energy and give my parents a break from the madness from time to time. When I was ten, I

star ted doing community theater in Pennsylvania at a place called Old Bedford Village. My first play was the Wizard of Oz, I was the coroner of Munchkinland, who announces the witch is dead as the long death cer tificate unfurls across the floor. Everyone always applauded for that, I don’t know why, but I loved it. Theater stuff became a part of my upbringing, an annual thing, and while I loved it to death, I never took it too seriously as a path I’d consider taking. I just liked doing it. In high school, I was in musicals like The Pajama Game, How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying, and the Wizard of Oz again, this time playing the Cowardly Lion. And then in film school, I would take theater classes to fill out credits and enhance my filmmaking education. I took stage combat, voice for the actor, improv workshops, and I enjoyed it. As a filmmaker, it’s important to be able to talk to actors in their own language. But acting, for me, is just another wheel in the machine of filmmaking, it was never a goal or ambition of mine, despite my enjoying it. My real talents and training are better utilized behind the camera, but I love the entire process of filmmaking, and would be happy doing one of a number of jobs in that process. Acting included. Do the other guys have similar acting backgrounds? The other bears, in fact, have far more detailed and experienced acting backgrounds than I do! Joe is an actor professionally, and has

accumulated an impressive resume over his career, from films to television to commercials. Ben has extensive experience in stage work, especially improv comedy, and brings those chops to the table every day. Rick has a lot of experience too, and while he shrugs it off in conversation, he’s great in front of the camera. He was a stand out for me in season 3 last year, I loved the way he played Reggie, he cracked me up constantly. How did WTBA begin? As the story goes, it was born in Palm Springs after a night of Joe, Rick, and Ben getting drunk in Rick’s hot tub. Those guys have been friends for years (Joe and Ben are a couple of 20 years, in fact), and they had always wanted to do something together, but it’s very hard to get a project off the ground in LA. Rick had the title “where the bears are” in his head, so they were talking about making a web series – a new kind of media, no one to tell them “no”, they could make the project themselves, and Ben had just sold a script to Adam Sandler, which would provide money for equipment and so on. Rick used to be a writer for The Golden Girls, so they wanted to adapt that formula for the bear community, and Rick is also a big fan of murder mysteries. Joe originally wasn’t going to be in it and was only going to direct, but they were laughing at the idea of him being the big dumb one. Between the three of them, they had a

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writer, director, and a producer…it kind of snowballed from there. Tell us about the kickstarter campaign. How far are you from your target, and is there anything our readers can do to ensure WTBA sticks around for a while? Donate, and tell your friends! Haha, that’s the only way we have stuck around this long and the only way we can keep going! As of right now, we are at $80,000 on our way to our $150,000 goal, but there’s only 15 days left, and only 1% of the WTBA fans have donated anything! There are 71K “likes” on facebook, and if everyone gave $5, less than the cost of a big mac, we’d almost triple our goal. People have been so generous, but we need help from everyone! Otherwise, the show is over! There’s no network, no studio, and no adver tisers to fall back on, here. Joe, Rick, and Ben are doing this all on their own, and making a full length series costs much more and takes much longer than most people realize. It’s a full time, 7 days a week job putting this all together, and since the show is put out online free of charge, this is the only way to keep up the pace of releasing one season each year. Those guys will tell you, the show will keep going as long as people keep wanting to see it! But that means helping us out along the way!

e r a s r a e b where the What does it mean to be a bear? I think now, the word “bear” gets thrown around a lot, like an umbrella term to describe masculine men of all shapes and sizes. I know plenty of clean-shaven, smooth-chested guys who could be considered bears. I know plenty of furry, brawny guys who don’t identify with the bear community at all. The lines are blurred and there’s a lot of grey area. For me, though, bear is a state of mind. Think back on the classic definition of “bear”…big masculine, rugged type men who were comfortable in their own skin, embraced diversity, and celebrated acceptance. Men who lived a relaxed, hedonistic lifestyle but never at the expense of other people. Real men, a man’s man. I feel like par t of that has been lost in the last 20 years, and I think it’s important the bear community gets it back. We are supposed to be in this together, but the gay world can be very alienating and exclusive at times, and I don’t like seeing that. I don’t like seeing gay men be cold and mean to each other. True bears embrace, accept, and celebrate everyone for their truth. Bear is a state of mind, and we should all try to be that kind of bear! Are you anything like your character on the show? Very much so…and yet, not very much at all. I don’t know. Joe, Rick, and Ben have a much tougher job than I do when it comes to our characters. They have to play these extreme character types – the airhead, the lush, the neurotic mess where I am basically playing a version of myself. Todd is, in some ways, the kind of person I want to be more like. He’s level headed, confident, sharp, loyal, protective, sensitive, patient, fun, outgoing, and a very likeable page 22 | gnimag.com

guy. I am those things, too, but I’m only human. I make mistakes, I have a temper sometimes, I wear my heart on my sleeve, I’m shy and reserved, and a lot of people often mistake me for the character I play on the show, and are confused when I’m not more like that in real life. I’m just being me, and I have issues and struggles and doubts just like anyone else. But in those weaker moments, in the dark times when I struggle or make a mistake, I think to myself “Todd would handle this differently. Be more like Todd.” That thought keeps me honest and true to myself, so I’d like to think I’m becoming more like Todd all the time. Who writes the show? Ben and Rick are the writers. Rick has a knack for murder mysteries, so after an outline is discussed, Rick lays out the murder mystery storyline and produces a first draft. Ben then takes that draft and begins filling in plot points and jokes and situ-

s k r a p n ia ations. Then they kick it back and for th until the script is finished. A lot of things happen during filming that are unscripted, though. That’s what makes it such a fun working environment. Is all that hair real? Is it all real? Of course it’s all real, I grew it myself! What would be the alternative? Chest hair implants or an Austin Powers style chest toupee? No, no, it’s all mine. Don’t pull on it though. It’s attached and I’ll yelp. What adventures can we expect in the next season? Todd and Nelson are getting married. God help me! Reggie’s TV show is still on the radar, and he’s got some familiar faces on his team now. And

Wood is working on a swimsuit line called “spor tin’ wood”, which should provide plenty of hot new hunks for the viewers. I can’t say much else, but I know this year, the murder hits close to home for the fab four.

When you’re out and about, do you often get recognized as Hot Toddy? Sometimes, but not too often. We were recently at International Bear Convergence in Palm Springs, and that weekend I was recognized a lot, but that’s because we were surrounded by our target audience. In my normal day-to-day life, it doesn’t happen very often, or if it does, the people don’t say anything. Every once in a while I’ll be spotted by a fan at Target in the toothpaste aisle, or in 7-11 at 3 AM, or by a flight attendant as they are giving me my $5.00 half can of soda on a plane. And when it does happen, I’m always so surprised and stunned to be approached, because it’s amazing how many people the show has reached. Very humbling. So please, if ya see me out and about, say hello! I love hearing from the fans, even if I can be a bit shy sometimes. Do you have any side projects on the go? I’m always on the hunt for freelance editing work and for other work gigs to sink my teeth into. I go to some auditions here and there when I have the time, but I’m still focused mostly on editing. I make videos that I upload to YouTube and Facebook a lot as a hobby, just for fun, so please subscribe to my channel! Are you single? Maybe, maybe not. ;-) There are a few cards I choose to play very close to the chest, only because things like family and my love life are very impor tant to me, and very intimate and personal, and I’d like to keep them that way as long as possible. It’s been hard

to draw that line, I’ve found…people keep telling me I’m a “public figure”, but I still have a private life, so it’s been a challenge to make the distinction between the two and decide which areas of my life I’ll openly talk about and which ones I won’t. Do you have a “type”? Not really. Sure, there are characteristics of men that I find more-orless universally attractive, but I’ve met plenty of guys who, on paper, are exactly what I would normally go for, and yet I’m not attracted to them as much. Then there are guys who aren’t traditionally my type, and yet they light me up like a pinball machine. I guess the best way to answer that question is to say this: Sexy is sexy. It comes in all shapes and sizes and energy. Working what you got and owning it with confidence? That’s sexy as hell. You have a lot of onscreen kisses on the show…is that something you had to get used to or were you comfortable with it straightaway? It was easy in some ways because, ya know, that’s not ME kissing these guys. It’s Todd. And my approach to it is very much as a professional. The script calls for me to do something, and I do it as though I’m very into it because Todd is very into it, and so that’s how I try to portray it. It does create a kind of disconnect that makes it easy to do and not think about too much. In season 2, however, when Nelson keeps imagining Todd kissing different guys in his nightmarish fantasy scenes? That was genuinely awkward. Imagine a room full of people, lights everywhere, a boom mic hanging over your head, the cameraman literally standing between your legs on the bed to get an overhead shot…and you have to do multiple takes of kissing with one guy, then another, then another, then another. And yeah, all of them are smoking hot and everything, but I dunno. That was weird. I felt very self-conscious, but shrugged and said,

“What the hell.” And then to end that day, I had to do a three-way kiss with Joe and Rick, which was awkward for all three of us. They’ve been friends for 12 years, and they are both like big brothers to me…but hey, that’s what the script called for, so what the hell, right?! Describe your perfect day. Driving around Europe in a conver tible with a big hunky fellow sitting next to me, taking pictures, flying my drone, exploring the countryside. Then a thunderstorm blows in and we have to take shelter in some old historic building, full of paintings and antiques, watching the rain and lighting, and we go at it in every room in that house. Then we get back on the road, head back to the city, find some fantastic hole-in-thewall restaurant with the best food, walk around the city at night, have a drink or two, go back to the hotel, go at each other like animals again, and then watch a movie naked. He falls asleep first so I go workout in the hotel gym and when I get back to the room, he’s awake and waiting for me to come cuddle. Yeah. That’s about as perfect as I can imagine. Describe yourself in three words. Honest. Sincere. Curious. What are your three favorite things in life? Traveling, filmmaking, and learning. What are you hopes and plans for the future? I’m a simple guy, I don’t know what the future holds, but I hope whatever it is, wherever I am, whatever I’m doing…I just wanna be doing something that makes me happy, sharing it with good people, and helping other people find that happiness for themselves. That’s what it’s all about.

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Jon Lee there ain’t no party like an s club party.

Ahead of S Club 7’s big Bring It All Back tour, which kicks off on May 7th, we spoke to one seventh of the band, Jon Lee. You and your band mates brought us several anthems that are still very close to our hearts. We can’t hear ‘Reach’ without feeling a rush of happy nostalgia. Did the squeaky clean image of S Club ever get on your nerves? It didn’t get on my nerves. I was only young at the time anyway so it wasn’t like I had a massively wild and rebellious life outside of the group. It was my job and I loved it. What is the music industry really like? It’s very different now to how it was. It’s a lot of hard work; it’s nowhere near as glamorous as people think. You do have to have pretty thick skin and be 100% sure and focused that that’s what you want to do with your life, otherwise I’d suggest choosing a different career. Be honest.... Did you ever feel embarrassed doing those dance

routines? ...Or acting in Miami 7? Haha! No, I loved it! Loud and proud all the way... to be honest I haven’t watched the TV show since it was on TV a million years ago so I’m sure I’d cringe if I watched it now. I just remember looking about 12 years old.

Will theatre always be your f irst love? Yes absolutely. I’ve been performing in theatre shows since I was 12 years old and trained in musical theatre at drama school so it’s well and truly ingrained in my skin. I love the idea of going to work and pretending to be someone else for a few hours.

How much did you have to practice the routines and songs when you were part of S Club 7? When we were in the band and doing it all the time, we could pick up a new routine and have it ready to perform in a day. It takes us just a tad longer than that now. Thankfully we have 3 1/2 weeks to rehearse for the tour so we should be f ine.

What acting roles have you had since being in S Club? The biggest jobs have been Marius in Les Miserables, which I did for two years and was also involved at the 25th anniversary at the O2 in London. I also played Frankie Valli in Jersey Boys for three years. It was amazing being par t of them both and getting the chance to play such iconic roles.

What is your favourite S Club song? My favourite single is ‘Don’t stop Movin’’ but I love ‘Show me your Colours’, which was an album track that Rachel sang.

Are you ever afraid of being typecast? Not really, every job I’ve done has always been completely different from the last . You released your debut album, ‘Fallen Angel’ in 2013. What was it like doing solo work, and how

You’ve been in theatre longer than you’ve been doing music.

was the album received? I was really proud of the album. I funded it and was executive producer so it was a new experience for me to be the boss for a change. It’s a collection of some of my favourite songs, which we gave different arrangements. I got to sing with a gospel choir too so I was well happy! It got some great reviews, and no one has asked for their money back. What was it like being in such a successful band and being gay? I never really thought about it to be honest. I’ve always known I was gay and all my friends and family did too. I’d only just turned 16 when the band kicked off and I didn’t have a proper relationship until well after the band split. It’s nearly impossible when you’re that busy and travel so much. Was coming out publicly a big deal for you? I never really came out, it was an ar ticle I did in Gay Times magazine and that was the f irst interview in which anyone had ever openly gnimag.com | page 25

asked me about my sexuality. ...... ...... I’ve got no problem talking about it when people ask about my private life, I’m proud of who I am, I just never felt the need to shout about it in the street for no reason. Are you single? Yes. Do you have a ‘type’? Well I used to have a def inite look that I went for but nearly all of them turned out to be dickheads so I’ve had to adjust the search criteria :) What are your views on same-sex marriage? I think it’s great. Marriage shouldn’t be about being a man or a woman, if you are lucky enough to f ind someone to love and know they love you back you should able to celebrate that anyway you choose. It’s a beautiful thing. What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received? Be nice to people on the way up... because you will see them all on the way down! What are your hopes and dreams for the future? Just to be happy and healthy.

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Brandan Robertson The out gay Christian autor.

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Brandan Roberston is a gay Evangelical writer, speaker, and activist, who recently finished his book ‘Nomad: Not-So-Religious Thoughts on Faith, Doubt, & the Journey In Between’. The 22-year-old, who is considered by many to be a progressive Evangelical leader, was delighted when he signed a deal with prominent American Christian publishing company, Destiny Image, last year. However, just after he submitted his manuscript at the beginning of 2015, the deal fell through. Brandan has since spoken out about what happened, saying that he believes that the book deal was scrapped because of his sexuality, and his stance on LGBTQ equality. We spoke to Brandan to find out more… For how long have you been writing? Was it always something you wanted to do? I’ve been writing seriously since I was… twelve. By the time I turned 16, I had self published 3 books on Christianity which were sold on Amazon to a small number of very unhappy customers. It wasn’t until high school that I began to actually take writing seriously and began to get better at writing in a way that people could connect with. I also am absolutely the worst at spelling and grammar. So you can imagine what a self-published book by a 14 year old who couldn’t spell, didn’t understand grammar, and didn’t have any experience writing was like. I star ted my first blog when I was twelve as well. So, yes, writing is something that I always knew that I was called to do. Over the years, writing stopped being a far off dream and became one of the most impor tant excercizes in my life. For me, writing is like therapy. It’s where I can pour everything in my mind out on a page and finally understand what I actually think, feel, and believe. I love the way Flannery O’Connor puts it when she says, “I write because I don’t know what I think until I read what I say.” That’s totally my experience. When I finally am able to sit down and write, I begin to discover who I really am inside. It’s a powerful, often scary experience. How involved are you with the Evangelical Church? Well, I graduated from one of the world’s leading Evangelical Bible colleges in 2014 (Moody Bible Institute), am actively involved in leadership in a local Evangelical church, write an Evangelical blog, and work primarily with Evangelicals to help reform Evangelicalism. So I think it’s safe to say that I am very involved in the Evangelical Church. Many LGBTQ people feel that they cannot practice their Christianity whilst being true to their sexuality, and therefore turn away from the church. Do you think it is possible to both be gay and have a faith? Why? It is an undeniable fact that Christians have been among the most judgemental and damaging religious groups to LGBTQ people around the world. Instead of being a religion which celebrates libera-

tion and redemption, it has far too often been a force of condemnation and marginalization. But the problem is not with Christianity. The problem is with Christians. Anyone who seriously studies the life and teachings of Jesus will know that there is room at God’s table for everyone. They will see a radically inclusive and compassionate Savior who offers hope and salvation to all who will follow him. The way of Jesus liberates us to step into our truest selves, the way God created us to be, which includes stepping fully into our sexuality. What is really said about homosexuality in the Bible, and how do you interperet this? That’s easy. The Bible says that “homosexual sex” is an “abomination” deserving of death. But thank

I look forward to the day, coming very soon, when LGBTQ people will be fully included, welcomed, and embraced by all Christians everywhere. God that most people don’t believe that anymore. There is no denying that the Bible speaks negatively of gay sex, and I don’t think playing interpretive games with the text is something faithful Christians can do in good conscience. Instead, I believe that the people who use the Bible to condemn LGBTQ people are fundamentally misusing the Biblical text. It’s not a matter of interpretation as much as it is scriptural malpractice. The Bible is a book of progressive revelation. What that means is that as God has spoken to humanity throughout history, he has always done so in ways that we could handle. The Old Testament writers describe gay sex as an abomination. While that’s infurating to those who read it today, 4,000 years ago, that was the standard consensus for most of the world. The Old Testament writers also promote slavery, condemn tatoos, and encourage polygamy. All of which is understandable when you examine the cultural context that the writers are living in. As the Bible progresses through the ages, God continues to pull back the cur tain to reveal more and more of his vision for a redeemed world. By the time we get to the New Testament, Jesus comes along and amends much of what God said in the Old Testament. He says things like, “You have heard it said an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth”- a command that God himself gave to the people of Israel- “But I say to you, don’t fight against anyone who wrongs you. If someone slaps you on your right cheek, turn, and let them slap your left one as well!” Jesus continued to push humanity forward towards God’s vision of a perfect world - a world where we don’t repay evil for evil, but practice self-

sacrifice and radical forgiveness. Jesus was always offending the religious leaders of his day because of his constant amending of the Old Testament laws. He did it not to nullify the validity of the Old Testament, but to reveal more clearly what God was getting at. Jesus was incredibly radical for being a first century Rabbi. The way he elevated the status of women and embraced those who the Jewish religious leaders viewed as “unclean” are just two examples of just how progressive he was. Before Jesus’ death, he said that he had much more to tell the world, but that we were not ready to receive it. He promised that the Holy Spirit would come and continue to pull back the curatin to reveal more and more of God’s vision for a perfect world. In the centuries since Jesus walked the ear th, I believe that the Spirit of God has continued to pull back the cur tain even fur ther, revealing more and more of God’s vision for how the world is supposed to be. We have continued to progress, to become a more open, gracious, and loving society as a whole. In the West, we have begun to overcome the Biblically sanctioned evils of racism, classism, and sexism. The New Testament says that slaves were created to be slaves. But the Spirit has showed us that this is not God’s final word on the matter. Now, almost universally, Christians actively oppose slavery and oppression of all people. Why? Because the Spirit of God has convicted us and showed us that the overarching principle that he was revealing in the Bible was one of liberation and equity. Slavery is not the will of God, even if the Bible makes it seem that it is. On the issue of sexuality, the Church is going through a major reformation. As my friend Pastor Rob Bell has said, we are literally “moments away” from accepting LGBTQ marriage. Why? Because God has continued to speak to his people. He continues to show us that the true message that the Scripture was really trying to get across is not that LGBTQ people are intrinsically flawed or that our attractions are sinful. Rather, LGBTQ people are beloved children of God, just as they are, and are called to join with God in the restoration of the world. It’s also impor tant to note, however, that cultural context is impor tant in understanding what the Biblical texts are actually saying. In the Old Testament, the words are pretty clear. Gay sex is an abomination. But when we get to the New Testament, anyone who takes time to understand the world that the Apostle Paul was living and writing in will begin to understand that things are not as clear as they seem. In Romans 1, when Paul seems to call gay sex “unnatural” and says that “God’s wrath” is coming for those who practice such sins, a closer, contextualized reading reveals that Paul was likely not refering to monogomous, same-sex relationships, but rather Pagan temple prostitution or male on male rape, two things that were common in the first century world. When Paul writes in 1 Corinthians saying “homosexual offenders will not enter the Kingdom of God”, anyone who studies first century Korinth

would immediately recognize that a fundametnal par t of the culture in the metropolis of Korinth was pedastry - or older men taking young boys as “students” and having sexual relationships with them. Paul was likely condemining this action, and rightfully so. Also, in the center of ancient Korinth, situated high atop a mountain called the AcroCorinth was a temple to Aphrodites, the goddess of sex. In this temple, people would often go and offer a wide array of sexual sacrifices to the goddess, including gay sex. Paul was also likely to be rightly condeming this practice. But one would not realize this by simply reading a modern English translation of the Bible. This requires rigorious examination of the cultural context and the Greek text, something that the average layperson simply doesn’t do. That’s why it is vital that those of us who are called to be pastors and teachers do the hard work and teach the full picture of what the scripture is saying. If we don’t, we could end up leading our people to do all sor ts of damaging and even sinful things. At the end of the day, Christians are called to look at every situation through the lens of Jesus, who modeled radical inclusivity and grace and said that the most impor tant commandments were to love God and love our neighbor. If we stick to that, then all Christians will treat their LGBTQ neighbors with the love, dignity, and respect that they deserve. That’s where we have to star t.

more realistic and suited to this modern-day world? I love the way you put that. See my comments above. I believe that Christianity is fundamentally about seeking God in “fresh”, new, progressive ways. Christianity is a religion of progression, as my friend Pastor Stan Mitchell has said. Throughout the centuries, we have always adapted and reformed to better represent the way of Jesus to our ever evolving world. Just 500 years ago, the Protestant reformers coined a motto for Christianity that bears repeating today. They said that the Christian faith was to be “Semper Reformanda” or “always reforming”. What this doesn’t mean is that the Christian faith, at its core, should fundamentally change to adapt to culture. But what it does mean is that we should be a humble people, recognizing that the things we are most cer tain of are also the things that most often require reexamination and questioning. With each new age comes a new perspective, which gives bir th to a new expression of Christianity. Those who resist the reformation are actually standing in the way of God’s Spirit, who is always making everything new and helping us to see reality with fresh eyes. All of that to say - it is fundamentally Christian to always be changing, morphing, and reforming our beliefs and practices.

What message are you trying to put across with your writing and public speaking? The message that I try to get across in everyhting I write, everywhere I speak, and in everything I do is the message that Christians call “the Gospel.” It’s the message Jesus came proclaiming. It’s the message that saints, prophets, and sages throughout the ages have been proclaiming. The way Jesus puts it is this: “The Kingdom of God has come! Join in!” What that means is this - God is actively working to make this world a better place. God has shown us a way to live robust, abundant, and liberated lives and invites us to par ticipate in spreading the abundance and liberation to every corner of creation. God has shown us the way to step in to our True Selves, to put an end to injustice and our suffering, both personally and globally. God has invited us to live lives of celebration and peace. It’s actually possible! And I want to help show people the way to do that. I don’t have all of the answers and I cer tainly don’t claim to have attained the same sor t of superior enlightenment. Instead, I see myself as a nomad among nomads, endlessly searching for a better world and a wideeyed hope that a new day is on the horizon, even in the midst of all of the suffering, pain, and sin in our world.

“I believe that Christianity is fundamentally about seeking God in “fresh”, new, progressive ways. “

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Can you tell us about your book, Nomad:

Not-So-Religious Thoughts on Faith, Doubt, & the Journey In Between? Nomad is a collection of meditations on the various aspects of my faith and life that have been undergoing tremendous change. We are living in a new age, a period that my friend Phyllis Tickle calls “The Age of the Spirit”, which is turning out to be a period of human growth and evolution where we are collectively waking up to the reality that we’re all interconnected, that no one religion or denomination has a comprehensive grasp on truth, and that we have a lot more to learn and discover than we have ever realized before. My generation, the millennials, are one of the most hungry generations - we hunger for meaning, experience of the Divine, for a chance to walk in another’s shoes. We are a generation that is more connected and globally minded than any other in the history of humanity because of the internet and social media. We are the most educated and informed generation. All of this is resulting in what I call a “Nomadic” lifestyle. We see ourselves as sojourners, who long to learn, seek, and discover

new ways of being in the world. We aren’t content in settling for one system that claims to provide us will all of life’s answers. We are comfor table with paradox, tension, and contradiction. We are a most curious generation. Many look at us and see this as a flaw, a sign of immaturity, or some sor t of spir tiual ADD. But I think it’s a blessing (though I am a bit biased). My book is an attempt to help the world get in to the mind of and walk around in the shoes of a millennial. I don’t think for a second that my thoughts represent an entire generation’s, but what I do think is that my life story so far is archetypal of many millennials’ stories. I want to help older generations understand why we’re so restless and invite them to journey along with us. I also write for my generation, those of us who identify as spiritual but not religious, who have a deep faith and fascination with life and the universe but are apathetic towards the hyper-intellectualism of liberal religion and the rigid dogmatism of conservative religion. I hope to give voice to our way of life and give hope to those who, like me, are slowly meandering off the beaten path of the faith of their upbringing and in to a new country filled with new experiences and ideas. In shor t, the book is a collection of essays about various experiences in my life that point to broader lessons about everything – spirituality, sexuality, politics, friendship, and everything in between. How long have you been writing your book? How much work went into it? This book has been an idea for about six years. I’ve written three drafts, two of which I deleted because I didn’t feel like they felt like the book I was trying to write. The big struggle for me has been the fact that I star ted writing this book when I was 21 years old. I am under no illusion that I have the answers to all of life’s questions. I wanted to be careful that what I wrote was honest and authentic, but also not presumptious or arrogant, which is easy for a 21 year old to sound like. I am pretty pleased with the manuscript that is going through publication right now and I think it touches on everything I wanted to talk about and does so with an authentic tone of humility and wonder. As far as how much work went in to this - I tried to write around 2-3,000 words a day for the last year, but missed that mark quite a bit. I was truly amazed at just how difficult it is to write a book. I definitely have a whole new respect for the craft of writing! What other publications do you write for? I reguarly write for my blog on Patheos (the world’s largest site for religion and spirituality blogging) called “Revangelical”, Sojourners Magazine, The Huffington Post, IMPACT Magazine, Red Letter Christians, and occassionally will write Op-Ed’s for TIME Magazine, Dallas Morning News, and RNS, among others. You lost your book deal with Destiny Image Publishers recently. In your opinion, what was

the reason for this? The reason I lost my book deal with Destiny Image is because the Christian Bookstores in the United States basically black-listed my name, presumably because of my sexuality and stance on LGBTQ equality. What that means is that when my former publisher, Destiny Image, went to sell my book to Christian Bookstores, they were told by the companies that they refused to sell my book. This means that very quickly, my book because finanically unviable for DI to publish, because it would become very difficult for them to market and sell. This is not the first time a book or author has been banned by Christian Publishers in the US. The Christian Book industry, which is owned by primarily conservative Evangelicals, have a history of blacklisting anyone who doesn’t align with their poltiical and theological values. Losing my book deal is symptomatic of the larger state of things in the American Evangelical Church. The issue of LGBTQ equality and inclusion has become the single most divisive issue. If you disagree, you’re essentially excommunicated by the Evangelical establishment. It really is a shame and flies in the face of everything our Christian faith is about. But thankfully, there is movement happening and things are beginning to change. I look forward to the day, coming very soon, when LGBTQ people will be fully included, welcomed, and embraced by all Christians everywhere. Why is it important for non-LGBTQ people to support LGBTQ people? That’s easy. Because, in the words of Macklemore, “No freedom until we’re equal.” We must continue to work for equality and the dignity of every person- LGBTQ, Women, Racial Minorities, etc. and until all humans stand in equity, all of our freedom is in jeopardy. We are all fundamentaly interconnected and we all need to stand with and for each other- our neighbors, our friends, and our percieved enemies. We have found that most of the time, when Evangelical Christians change their minds about LGBTQ people it is because a member of their family or a loved one has come out, and they have been forced to come to terms with that. It must be a difficult task trying to change the minds of those who have never met an LGBTQ person, and to whom homosexuality remains ‘the fearful unknown’. How do you go about changing devoutly religious people’s attitudes towards same-sex relationships? This is absolutely true. The number one reason that people change their minds on this issue (and any issue) is because they have a personal experience that has shifted their persepctive. Much of my work involves getting in rooms with other Evangelical Christians as a queer Evangelical. For many, I am the first LGBTQ person they will ever meet. For others, I am the first queer Christian they’ve ever met. Ultimately, when people can

see me life, as I strive to live as faithfully to Jesus as I can and devote all of my energy to being a preacher of the Gospel, and am openly queer, they ultimately have some major theological questions to ask. It’s easy to talk about “homosexuality” in the abstract, but when its embodied in a person - a loved one, a friend, a co-worker, or a fellow Christian - it becomes much harder just to dismiss it as an “abomination.” The question that must be answered after someone has spent time with me or any other LGBTQ person becomes - “Is Brandan really an “abomination”?” My hope is that they will see that my commitment to Jesus and my devotion to loving my neighbor and begin to rethink why they believe what they believe. That’s when the deeper theological and political work can begin.

harm. When we can sit at the table together, reconcilation will become a reality.

We are based in Belfast (NI). Northern Ireland remains the only place in the United Kingdom that has not yet legalised same-sex marriage. What can you suggest we do to speed things up!? I wont pretend to be an expert on the legal process of NI, but I will say to you the same thing I say to the churches I work with: Keep telling stories. Show the people of NI that LGBTQ people are real people, with the same dreams, desires, and hopes as everyone else. In many places where same-sex marriage is illegal, there is also a culturally accepted sterotype of what it looks like to be LGBTQ - primarily that we are radically immoral people who only think about sex. Nothing could be further from the truth! LGBTQ people have been some of the most influential people in the world and have done and are doing a tremendous amount of good for society and our world. We are human beings like everyone else. And the more that people see our humanity and not just hear ideas and sterotypes about us, the more people will be compelled to stand up for our rights. Homophobia and discrimination against LGBTQ people is rife, and not only within the Church. How damaging do you think such attitudes are for society, and do you believe that, in the future, we will be free from them? Homophobia and discrimination are two of the most prevalent “sins” of our day. Both of them are rooted in the one thing that is at the root of all evil and injustice - fear. The more that we learn to love one another in all of our diversity and queerness, the less injustice and oppression there will be. Love, afterall, casts out fear. I firmly believe the world is progressing and I do long for the day when fear is dispelled once and for all. Until that day, I think we’re going to have to continue to struggle against fear. And the only way to defeat fear is by loving those who are afraid and showing them that there is nothing to fear. This will take a change of hear t on the par t of the marginalized (the LGBTQ community) to be willing to engage, without hatred, those who have done us the most

Do you have a life motto? My two life mottos come from the Bible, the first one from the Book of Proverbs 3:5-6 which I paraphrase to say “Trust in the God. Don’t trust the way things appear to you. Look for God in and around everyone, everything, every day, and you will be led in the way that you should go.” The second passage is in the book of Galatians 5:6 which says “The only thing that matter is our faith expressing itself through Love.” The first passage helps me to live a live that is constantly aware of the Divine all around me and in every circumstance. Whatever comes my way, good or bad, I try to find God in the midst of it and listen for his still, small voice telling me what the next step I should take is. Whenever I do this, I am always led into blessing. The second helps remind me that in everything I am doing, if I don’t have faith that God is working through me and an undying love for all people, then my work is meaningless. But when I do act out of faith and love, then what I am doing can change the world.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but wouldn’t Jesus be happy for people to love him, love others, and love themselves, without issues of sexuality/race/gender/creed ever coming into it? You’re right. The problem is that those of us who follow Jesus tend to screw things up when we star t making elaborate systems of theology, rules, and dogmas to explain Jesus’ message which he summed up in eight words - “Love God and love your neighbor as yourself.” When we star t allowing our sinful ways to intermingle with Jesus’ pure and simple message, we get exclusion, oppression, and greed. When we follow the simple message of Jesus, we get inclusion, liberation, and charity.

What are the most important things in your life? My people (friends, family, mentors). My faith. A hope-filled vision for a better world. I think with these three things, anyone can live an abundant life. What are your hopes and dreams for the future? My hope is that I will continue to be able to give my life to seeking the beauty of God and leading others to find their purpose and learn to live in awe of the Love that creates, sustains, and is renewing the cosmos. The more of us that can get to a place of living in wide-eyed awe of the beauty that surrounds us and is contanstly expanding, the better the world will become for everyone.

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“...because obviously being Deaf is like an ‘invisible’ disability.”

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them.

Jamie Rea is a young, gay, Deaf man living in Belfast. We spoke to Jamie as part of our regular Gay Life feature, to find out how his disability affects him day-to-day. Hello Jamie, how are you? Hello GNI magazine. I am swell, thank you for asking. Were you born Deaf? Yes, I was born Deaf, as second generation. My parents are Deaf as well. How have you learned to communicate effectively with the people around you? Do you use any kind of hearing aids? Sign language? I have learnt how to communicate effectively through my school and my family, without them I wouldn’t be able to. Yeah, I’m frequently wearing a hearing aid, and sign language is my first language. My communication skills are excellent whether talking to hearing people or Deaf people, I always try to communicate with them well.

lots of people? To be straightforward, it is not that difficult being Deaf on the gay scene. I do love the music; I can hear the sound of the music through my hearing aids. I don’t hear the words but I hear the beats and feel the vibration from the floor. If I know the songs really well, I can pick out the lyrics. I feel I have got no barriers communicating with people on the dance floor or anywhere in the nightclub. My mobile phone is my communication. Every time I communicate with someone, I use my mobile phone. Sometimes I do ‘Lip-reading’, but that can be awkward on the dance floor, because of the lighting. But in the smoking area, it’s perfectly fine. How does your everyday life differ from most people’s? Again, I have to be honest with you; my everyday life isn’t very different to most people’s. We Deaf people are living normal lives as most people do. Do you know many other hard of hearing people? Yes, I do know many hard of hearing people and they are my friends. Do not forget that we do have a Deaf community, which is mixed with Deaf, Hard of Hearing, Deaf Blind, Deaf Ushers,

many more. I know a lot of

How do people react when they realise you are deaf? Have you experienced any negativity, or rudeness? There is a lot of disbelief or ‘OMG’ reactions from other people when I tell them that I am Deaf, because obviously being Deaf is like an ‘invisible’ disability. I mean, most people don’t pick up on it and only realise after I tell them. Yes, obviously every disabled person will experience negativity and rudeness. The world we live in isn’t always nice. However, I have experienced negativity and rudeness - mocking us and how we communicate in our language. Let’s just say I’m used to it, and I simply ignore them; they aren’t wor th the fight. Karma will come around; they won’t know what’s going to hit them. Are there any organisations or groups you can recommend to others? Are you involved in any support groups yourself? I would recommend Action Deaf Youth and Action hearing Loss. They have their own websites. I am involved in ADY (Action Deaf Youth) where I volunteer, setting up the events for the community, and I am also involved

with Deaf Youth Forum to help the Deaf children to get what they want and to make sure the forum is accessible to them. Has being deaf limited you, career wise? I’m on the hunt for the jobs – it’s difficult for me to get a job I want, never theless, I won’t give up until I get what I want. This year, I will attend college and hopefully I will get into the fashion industry. What do you enjoy doing in your spare time? I enjoy the music; I do often do performances on my own in my spare time. I am also a drag queen, called Vikki Ryan. You can check out the videos and photos on Facebook if you search ‘Vikki Ryan’. What is your life motto? Why enjoy today when you can be worrying about tomorrow? What are your hopes for the future? My hopes for the future are to be a fashion designer or an actor.

Is it difficult being Deaf on the gay scene, given that many events take place in nightclubs, with loud music and

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TNT tried

Tested

We try out a few different products and serviices in this issue. Honesty is our policy, we’ll tell it how it is.!

AUSSIEBUM - DAINTREE & ANIMAL INSTINCT Ok so the lovely people at Aussiebum obviously know how much we love our undies. They sent us a couple of pairs from their Daintree range, and a couple of pairs of swimmers from their Animal Instinct range. Let’s talk about the Daintree first. We got a pair of brief style and a pair of boxer style. First thing we noticed was the feel of these kecks, they are amazingly thin and soft, like really soft - feels good. I took the boxers and my fella took the briefs. To be honest, to go against the grain, I don’t normally wear fitted style boxers. I put these on and of course it felt different to me everything was held in place - but in a good way. The fabric was soft, and stretchy, clingy without being clostropohic (for the meat and veg). The colour was cool too, a pretty muted colour tone, and of course everybody loves to see the Aussiebum name poking over the top of a pair of jeans. Loved these, can see myself loggnig on and buying another couple of pairs. The Animal Instinct swimmers are cer tainly eyecatching. I haven’t ventured into the local Belfast City Council pool in a pair yet, and to be honest I don’t think I will. As with all Aussiebums, they feel good and are extremely well made. My giraffe patterned pair are safely tucked away in my “for spain” drawer in my room, and I know I’ll put them on and get a few looks strolling along the beach in Sitges.

FLAWLESS ROSE DAY SPA - SHANKILL ROAD, BELFAST As winter finally came to a close and spring began to show her pretty face, I decided it was time to blow away the cobwebs and treat myself to a pampering session. I headed down to Flawless Day Spa on the Shankill Road to do just that. The spa is located in a redbrick terrace house near the Shankill Leisure Centre. Upon arrival, I was shown around and was surprised by the vast range of services offered, as the building is fairly modest in size. But, the Flawless team has managed to pack a whole lot into the space; services and facilities include sauna, hot tub, nail studio, massages, facials, spray tan, HD brows, and LVL lashes, to name but a few! The ground floor is made up of the reception area and the hot tub and sauna, whilst the first floor houses the nail studio and beauty treatment rooms. The main room upstairs really

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impressed with its rich wallpaper, vintage style furniture, plush cushions and soft lighting. It was great to chill out here after a busy week at work. The attentive staff and pleasant surroundings really aided relaxation!

MOOSE HEAD - DEFINING PASTE & SHAPING DOUGH A bit of a tale of two textures here. I’m a tough one to please when it comes to hair products, rarely do I find one that I stick with. So, reluctantly I tried these two. Firstly some background, my hair is thick, wiry, and redish in colour. I tried out the Shaping Dough first. It’s brown in colour, pretty thick and smells good (the smell is always impor tant). I styled my hair using this, and it done what it says on the pot. I found this product good for working on an all over style, it didn’t dry quickly so it gave me a bit of time for messing about. It leaves you’re hair with a bit of a shine too, some people love that, for me tho it just brings out the ginger lol. I loved the defining paste, using this I found that it worked better for me when teasing different sections of my hair. The paste itself is like a white gooey paste, the sor t that goes a bit stringy when you tease it between your fingers. I used this when going for more of a “spiked” look on my hair and it worked a treat.

IT WORKS! BODY WRAP - REFORM FITNESS AND LIFESTYLE, CORPORATION STREET, BELFAST (07949861928) Let me paint a picture for you, it was the day of the Goscars and I was stressing about how I was going to look on that red carpet and in all the pictures that would be taken that night. I touched base with Cailin in Reform to see if she could do something to give me a bit of confidence - quickly. She suggested I try the It Works! wraps. After expalining that they’re made with all natural ingredients and give really quiick results I decided to give it a go. So I popped in and she showed me how to use it. Very basically the wraps come individually packaged, folded out they feel like big baby wipes and they smell kind of like vapo rub. Sceptically I put one over my tummy and secured it using cling film, then i placed one of the face wraps over my face (I looked like Hannibal Lector). Then I chilled out for about three quar ters of an hour. I of course took some pix of myself before doing it to see if it worked or not. After removing the wraps I took some “after” shots. Even in this shor t time there was a definately visible differnce in my tummy, and in my face. It had cer tainly tightened both areas. I hadn’t told my BF that I was going for the wrap (because he’d laugh too hard), and I sent him the before and after pix, he thought they were my four week before and after gym pictures. So, yup, if you’re looking to tighten up a few bits of your body that you’re unhappy about, it’s wor th giving these a go. ERASMIC SHAVE STICK This one came into the office and to be honest I wasn’t sure what it was or what to do with it. I’m a bit of a beardy fella, so shaving is a bit alien to me - except a quick run over the messy bits on my face and neck with the clippers without the head on them. So, I was intreagued. I decided to go for broke and shave off the whole beard. In the past when I’d been fresh faced I’d always gone for a shaving gel or foam so this was new to me I took this little beauty out of the box, and the first thing was to give it a sniff, if I was asked to describe the smell, I’d say “clean”. Anyhows, I lathered up my beard, which felt odd to star t with because I’d always used a goo or foam in my hands. But it worked well and quickly there was a creamy lather on my face (calm down boys). I hoked to the back of the bathroom cupboard and pulled out one of those multi blade all singing and dancing razors and set to work. Long story shor t, it worked a treat. I didn’t have to re-apply, which was something I’d found myself doing in the past with gels and oils. End result, face as smooth as a babys bum. If you haven’t tried a shave stick before, this one is definately affordable and wor th giving a go.

TNT tried

Tested

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Read every issue online for free www.gnimag.com THE AWARD WINNING

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GTL GET THE LOONEY LOOK Back in 2013, London based fashion label Lazy Oaf presented an AW14 collection packed full of Bugs Bunny bomber jackets, oversized Looney Tunes t-shir t dresses and Tasmanian Devil printed sweatshir ts. And it did not end there. We’re talking Porky Pig patterned shor tsleeved shir ts, Daffy Duck hold-alls, and Sylvester and Tweety vest tops in abundance. More recently in 2014, high street brand FOREVER21 followed suit with cropped tur tle neck knitted jumpers featuring the face of Bugs Bunny, Marvin the Mar tian accessories and a pair of on trend, slim fit, Bugs graphic print sweats for the car toon nostalgic male. Fast forward to 2015 and we have major creative Jeremy Scott to thank for yet another enter taining and dramatic collection under the house of Moschino, as Big J serves up a slice of Street-Meets-Bugs-Bunny-Chic in a catwalk explosion of animated prints and statement streetwear ensembles, featuring the Looney Tunes band of colourful eccentrics in a wave of 90s silhouettes, graffiti ar t statement prints, urban spor tswear fabrics and a pop culture vibrancy of epic energetic magnitude. The stuff of LSD influenced dreams complete with a Looney Tunes street gang who mean car toonesque business. So what do you need to know? Nothing. Other than the blatant fact the Looney Tunes trend is about to blow up, and it will be a fun, goofy, silly and quirky trend to incorporate into your everyday wardrobes for the Spring/Summer season ahead. P.S. it will also hold the added bonus of a thrilling and enchanting ride down memory lane as a result. Th-th-th-th-that’s all folks! CREDITS: Words & Styling: Lewis Cameron Photography: Jamie Russell Lewis wears Looney Tunes Oversized T-shirt from Octopus’s Garden (11A Wellington Street, Belfast). £12.

THE

GOSCARS

*******

Friday 27th March, Team GNI spent the day preening and fixing, and getting themselves made up. It was that time of the year again and we loved it. Goscars Time. Our evening star ted with pre-drinks in the office, a bit of a chance to take the edge off things a bit. We were up for two awards: best media contribution and best online contribution, and we weren’t sure we’d get either! After a few sips of the fizzy stuff we bundled into taxis and headed for Union Street. Making our way up the red carpet like movie stars, the doors were held open for us as we made our way inside. We were greeted by waiters offering glasses of champagne, and of course it would have been rude to refuse! The place was buzzing, everyone looked amazing, and there was a definate celebratory feel to the evening. Team GNI made our way up to the top of the bar to pose for the obligitory photos before heading next door to the Shoe Facory where the pre-par ty was continuing. There were canapes and free cocktails on the go and everyone was lapping it all up. page 52 | gnimag.com

The time came and everybody star ted queing to head next door into Red Square. We got to our table (where there was a complimentary icebucket full of drinks and free goodie bags for us all) and waited in anticipation for the ceremony to begin. The stage lit up and Trudy Scruptious and her dancers hit the stage, a great upbeat mix with a summery feel, perfect to get the audience whipped up. Then Grannie D and Sonia Mac took to the stage to begin the awards... The air was electric as the nominees were called out and whoops of delight when winners revealed. Of course I’m gonna say it but I think we were the loudest when our winning award was announced: best online contribution. As the night continued, Barbra Bryceland took to the stage during the interval and kept the par ty going with a few great upbeat tunes. And when the cremeony was all over, the doors to the rest of the Kremlin were opened and we par tied the night away into the wee small hours.

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Dating DATE - DELETE - REPEAT

You entered 2015 with a serious amount of swagger, you set a very clear expectation with 2015 that you were in charge and you even put some stupid quote on instagram that said ‘Tomorrow is the first blank page of your 365 page book’ We’re nearly in April and doesn’t it just feel like we’ve all been yanked down a few steps by the cape that we originally wore with such conviction as we walked onto the 2015 stage. You took on 2015 with the end goal being that you’d commit to something more meaningful, so you deleted that well known mobile application that gives you information on the closest, easiest gentleman in your location and you swapped 20 cigarettes and six WKD on a Saturday night to fund the more premium dating application, the one that attracts the gay who drinks & dines in the Cathedral Quarter and has his hair cut by Paul Stafford, well that’s what you thought you were getting in your head. Something hasn’t quite changed and you still seem to be stuck in the vicious circle of date-delete-repeat. You’re running through the checklist in your head that makes you less Robin Thicke (who let’s face it is a shining ambassador for every perver ted uncle you’ve ever met at a wedding) and more Joseph Gordon- Levitt the guy that every parent will happily label ‘In-Law’ instead of ‘In-capable’ • • •

Take down topless picture – CHECK Write more than two lines – CHECK Leave the question Top or Bottom until the 3rd date - CHECK

•

Change status from ‘Casual Dating’ to ‘Wants a Relationship’ – CHECK

So what’s the problem I hear you ask? Well that’s a great question and thank you for asking it… it might be time to ask if the problems YOU. Slightly controversial when in the past we’ve tried to fill you with confidence (Well kind of, we’re not claiming to be Dr Phil but we’ve been less subtle).

“Don’t Interview your date, engage your date.” So time to check off how good you are on a date: ONE Do you actively listen? – So active listening isn’t when you stare lustfully into his eyes and nod back & for th like a simpleton, it’s when you’re truly focused on the speaker so that you can provide a constructive response. Please note a constructive response is not listening and then responding with ‘OMG – Did you watch Cucumber last night?’ TWO Did you just talk about your EX? – I’m sure some of you reading this have done that, now you’re either still single or you’ve been lucky enough to meet someone as unhinged as you, congratulations! Dates are about new beginnings so no one wants to hear about your past leave it at the door and

You thought you’d be loved up by now didn’t you. Here’s our tips on how to get that guy...

save it for another day when it’s appropriate and the first date is cer tainly not appropriate. ‘So me and my ex went to…’ – SHUT IT. THREE Is that your 3rd drink? – It’s perfectly normal to take your date for a drink, however as soon as that feeling kicks in that you’re trying to act sober in your little head those movements are subtle, to your date you look like Lindsay Lohan trying to get out of handcuffs after she’s been arrested for a DUI. FOUR Don’t Interview your date, engage your date – Ask questions that allow your date to get to know you, so we’re not saying find out more about their boring degree in French History, no one’s expecting you to be interested in that but ask questions that will allow your date to respond with ‘And what about you?’ It’s time to evaluate whether you’re as hollow as the Easter Egg you’re consuming earlier to console yourself or if it’s actually your date, you can’t always blame the other person for a poor date because the problem may actually be YOU. Next time you’re on a date don’t sit there mentally checking off a list in your head, it’s not your next big purchase, you’re looking for something meaningful and if you can’t stop your mind wandering for a few hours then the answers simple: until you can give someone your time you’re only ever going to DATEDELETE-REPEAT.

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Our Big Day Pascal & Stephen

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If you are planning your big day, thinking about popping the question, or just daydreaming about your perfect wedding, take inspiration from Stephen and Pascal, who tied the knot in June 2012. The pair shared some of their happy memories with GNI. Here’s what went down on that special summer’s day three years ago…

Did you encounter any problems when planning your wedding? The only problem we had , was we had decided that we wanted the2/6/12, the hotel was provisionally booked by another couple so we had an anxious wait to see if they were going to come back … Thankfully they didn’t so we got the date we wanted.

How did you meet? I met Stephen in a bar where he was working

When was your wedding? 02 June 2012

How far into your relationship did you decide you wanted to get married? 4 years

Did the date have a special significance? We just wanted a bank holiday weekend, and that suited really well. It is a bank holiday in the south and as it turned out it also turned out to be a bank holiday in the Nor th too as the queen’s jubilee was on too. So it meant that our riends and family could spend the weekend with us. On the day after we took the hotels cruiser out on the lough with 50 of our friends and family / How did you go about sourcing your wedding suppliers? A lot of of our suppliers we knew

Was there a proposal? No not really, we can’t remember who said what about it and the other said yeah sounds good. Did you have an engagement party? No Did you have stag dos? Yes separate ones .. Stephen in Bristol Pascal at home in Monaghan Where did you get the rings? Local jeweler Annette Lapin made them Did you both agree on the style of your special day, or were there any arguments over planning? No not really, once we had decided on hotel the style went from there Did either of you turn into Bridezilla? No

Did you do anything a little bit differently to the traditional wedding day? Stayed in the same room the night before Did you use wedding stationery/favours? Yes designed our own stationary, got a local printer to make them, they were simple but did the job. No favours we both thought they were a waste of money and that could be used for impor tant things like…shoes. Where was the ceremony held, and why did you choose that place?

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ManorHouse Enniskillen, we looked at different hotels but when we came across this amazing hotel by the shores of Lough Erne we knew that we had found the right place … we didn’t want to get married in our local town as we wanted to make a weekend event. We had a lot of friends so we wanted to spend time with them during our special weekend. We had 15 friends come join us on the Friday night for food and drinks, then we were able to get up and have breakfast with them before getting ready for wedding it really was something special. And where did the reception take place? ManorHouse. How many guests did you have at your wedding?

220 +40 in evening Who did you have as entertainment? The hootenannys from Belfast then Develish DJs aka Gary Landers Did you hire a videographer? Yes Blue moon What was the highlight of your day? Stephen – walking in door to the reception, with all of our friends gathered in the one place clapping and cheering us on. Pascal .. we had he Dublin gospel choir sing at our ceremony and the song the sang for us entering the ceremony with our mother s giving us away was Take That … Greatest Day and ever time I hear the song it brings me right back .

What was the funniest part of the day? The speeches .. we each had a best man who were our respective best friends for years and they both were hilarious What song did you choose for your first dance? I love you baby. Do you have a lot of photographs? Yes Did you have a honeymoon? If so, where? Yes Mexico for 1 week to relax we were totally exhausted and totally chilled then flew to San Francisco including Nappa Valley then finished off in New York.

If you could do it all over again, would you change anything? Stephen says just the groom … Not How are you enjoying married life? We love it , we have got through so much and every year we believe we have got stronger and stronger, we love spending time together whether that is out for the night, spending time with our dogs or sitting at home on a dark night listening to the wind and rain outside.

the

List

Rings: Annette Lapin, Monaghan Service Music: Dublin Gospel Choir Suits/Menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Clothes: We got our suits made from Hugo Thomas Belfast Venue: Manor House Cake: Friend Gary MC Dowell made an amazing cake Stationery: Swift print Monaghan Videography: Blue moon Photography: Suzzanne Toal Honeymoon: O hanrahan Travel Monaghan

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After organising her sister’s civil partnership in June 2014, Rebecca Pedlow launched her company, Parallel, that October: “My sister was having her civil partnership and I was in charge of the hen do and wedding. I was surprised when I realised that some of the things I wanted, like decorations, were not readily available for same-sex couples, and there was next to nothing available in Northern Ireland! I wanted my sister’s wedding to be really special and was disappointed that the same-sex wedding market was very limited. So, I decided I

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would provide same-sex couples with what they wanted. I love running my business; equality for same-sex couples is something I’ve been passionate about and suppor tive of for years.” Parallel began as a Facebook page offering three LGBT wedding products, which Rebecca carefully handcrafted. Then, on March 2nd 2015, the website went live, providing Rebecca with a platform from which to sell Parallel’s thir ty+ unique same-sex wedding items, the majority of which are sourced from local businesses all over Ireland. Parallel has a beautiful selection of wedding gifts, decorations, and

homeware made with same-sex couples in mind. Rebecca hopes to expand Parallel in the near future, adding an LGBT wedding card range, as well as various same-sex wedding services to help alleviate the stress of planning your special day. Rebecca will be exhibiting her range of Parallel Products at the Frock Around the Clock wedding fair in Malone House in May. She invites you all to come along, introduce yourself, and browse her charming range of products. At Parallel product feedback is encouraged, as are new product suggestions. Visit www.parallelproducts.co.uk for fur ther information,

prices, and a comprehensive N.I. gay friendly business directory. You can also visit Rebecca’s blog to keep up with her latest events, product launches, and views on LGBT rights issues: parallelproducts.com/blog. Rebecca stands up for LGBT rights whenever she can – when she heard about the Conscience Clause, she not only signed the petition against it, she also complained to the DUP after Paul Given refused to respond to her numerous requests for detailed information on the matter. People like Rebecca are just what we need!

Gender Essence Keira McCormack talks TNBI

My name is Keira McCormack and age, well let’s just say that I saw fifty a few years ago. I have worked for a long while with rape and abuse victims both in N. Ireland & England. Not only am I a qualified Counsellor but also a Hypnotherapist & Hypnobirthing practitioner. I moved to N. Ireland in 2003 but moved back to England last year; the main reason to be with my partner, although a car being intentionally driven at me helped in the decision making process. I am the project Manager of Gender Essence Suppor t Services and also on the Management Committee of Here NI; both of which struggle with funding. Gender Essence itself receives no funding

There are debates about what makes a ‘true’ Trans or a ‘real’ Trans person, that’s rubbish, all identities are valid. whatsoever and I have ran it on a shoestring for the past two years. Gender Essence Suppor t Services was set up in 2007 and was previously ran by Deborah McCullough who still works as one of our qualified counsellors. We are a Belfast based charity that offers suppor t & counselling to anyone under the Trans*, Non-Binary and Intersex (TNBI) spectrum. The issues faced are diverse, varied and range from struggling with your identity to post-op crash, from domestic violence to Transhobic attacks. Gender Essence offers a range of services and suppor t in times of need for anyone suffering out there and encourage anyone to get in touch. We also hold a monthly drop in group on the 4th Saturday of every month and are looking to star t another group during the week in the near future. It is impor tant to have groups and organisa-

tions that are not only TNBI positive but also run by TNBI people. All too often we are told what is right for us without being given the space and freedom to speak for ourselves. As it is impor tant to have LGB services and organisations, so it is true for the TNBI community. I took over the running of Gender Essence in October 2012 with the objective of obtaining charity status; which was achieved in January last year. The TNBI community have come a long way in a shor t time but we still have a long way to go. There are still issues that need to be dealt with and just to get basic acceptance in everyday life is still a lot more problematic than one might think. There are debates about what makes a ‘true’ Trans or a ‘real’ Trans person, that’s rubbish, all identities are valid. It’s how the person self-identifies that counts. We also need to get away from the trap of having to ‘pass’ as your chosen gender. Everyone is different not just Trans and Non-binary but in the general population as well. We need to be working together as a community for the benefit of all including Intersex people, who have even worse treatment than Trans, with forced operations and denial of even basic legal protection. It is good to see TBNI youth coming up and being more open, positive and challenging the Gender binary. The path isn’t easy no matter what age you are so when needed, reach out and seek help! No one will be able to take your place in the void you leave. Society as a whole struggles with understanding and at times is scared of what it doesn’t understand. However, we have a right to self-determination and to lead our lives how we identify. Hold your head high. You have done nothing wrong, if anything being TNBI means being strong, honest & true to yourself, be proud. Over the last two years with friends I have run projects for the annual LGBTQI Outburst Festival looking at challenging how the TNBI community are perceived. This being par t of a five year project star ting with We Are Human we displayed pictures of members of the TNBI community on bus shelters in the City Centre. Then last year we did the same with video images which were

shown on the big screen outside Belfast City Hall. This was a huge step for not only Gender Essence, Outburst and Belfast City Hall but the TNBI community as a whole. For too long we have commemorated those of us who have been murdered or couldn’t face the treatment we receive daily, we need to star t to celebrate our achievements more as a community, hence the idea behind Essence Ar ts Festival which had its first event last year in Belfast City Hall, and will be running again in July 2015. Things in the LGB community are improving but for the T there are still issues and we do seem to come across as an after-thought at times. While places are still adver tising Tranny this & Tranny that there will be problems. This is a term that can be highly offensive to a TNBI person. While Trans are treated as just a fetish or a phase someone goes through there will be problems. Sexuality & Gender are different issues and have different needs. Any organisation or group whether it’s LGBTQI or not, just has to get in touch with us. There are a number of organisations and groups out there who will gladly talk and put forward positive ways of helping TNBI people. You can contact Gender Essence on 07487 683 912 or info@genderessnce.org.uk, or my direct email keira@genderessence.org.uk, our Facebook page or updated website www. genderessence.org.uk

surrogacy, same sex parenting and what sex is for. (and Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Not for Making Babies!)

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Whatever one thinks of the fracas that erupted between Dolce & Gabbana and Elton John, their very public argument has indeed been the catalyst for spirited online debate regarding same sex parenting and surrogacy. Dolce & Gabbana are known to be gay and their comments demonstrating an aversion to same sex marriage and assisted reproduction can only be described as peculiar. One way that internalised homophobia is seen to manifest when a gay person, for example, espouses essentially homophobic views due to having lived in a hostile and anti-gay heteronormative world and this seems to be the case with the designers. Italy is religious and very pro traditional family so perhaps this could be one of the reasons for their views. Never theless their comments do fall into the realm of prejudicial on many levels and their views have caused a boiling debate that simmers online and tempers have ignited on both sides. For whatever reason, some may be reluctant to suppor t surrogacy or assisted reproduction. As I surfed through the various news and social media outlets, debates sizzled on Twitter and in the readers’ comments sections beneath news ar ticles regarding the controversy. What is fascinating is that many anti-gay commentators were throwing up their objections to assisted reproduction but only as a flimsy transparent veil barely concealing what their actual problem was: two gay men raising children. Many were waving the anti-surrogacy flag of protestation to obfuscate their bigotry towards same sex parents and gay men (in par ticular) having biological children. Given the fact that a very large propor tion of those objecting to assisted reproduction and gay male parenting were clearly from the religious right one would safely assume they are also pro-life so it beggars belief why they would want to deny life to children conceived via assisted reproductive methods. The anti-gay brigade objects to gay men fathering children in this way yet paradoxically they often use the fact that male homosexuality doesn’t produce biological children as a stick to beat us with. According to the bigoted traditionalists, when gay people don’t reproduce we are somehow failing in our duty as human beings whereas when we do reproduce we are also failing in our duty and all of a sudden assisted reproduction becomes the latest societal evil that needs to be stomped out. One of the arguments put forward this week in the media by the anti-gay contingent is that assisted reproduction is in some way ‘unnatural’ and that a child must have a relationship with its biological mother. I would personally refute that notion because the questionable assumption they put forward is the children of gay parents borne of assisted reproduction shouldn’t be born -- or exist -- at all in the absence of a biological mother raising said child. Essentially they are saying that these people should not exist. Period. Rather a cruel position to take, wouldn’t you agree? They are saying that the five million people existing today who were conceived through assisted reproduction shouldn’t, in fact, exist. I would also question the tradition of publicly alienating children if they come into existence in the many ways that assisted reproduction provides. If the child is told early on and raised by loving adults

there is no reason to deny those children their existence! The negative attitude towards this issue is abusive to both children and adults alike who came to be through assisted reproduction and the D&G comments underscore this problem. If the stigma of being born outside of a heteronormative nuclear family were removed then we as a society would be evolving away from alienating children who, for whatever reason, do not exist in a traditional family group that actually isn’t ideal in any case -- the majority of children now coming from broken homes and existing within various alternative family groups such as blended families and being raised by single parents. Many opponents to same sex parenting object to children not being born following heterosexual intercourse and the pro-heteronormative-nuclear-family suppor ters (some of whom are anti-gay) protest loudly that this is the only way children should come into existence -- that sex is for procreation ... But it isn’t. Sex is for for pleasure. Simply put: humans have transcended any notion of sex being for procreation only and sex is primarily for pleasure -- pregnancy being proactively prevented by contraception almost every time a straight couple gets it together. The primary objective is to avoid pregnancy most of the time -- hence the multi-billion dollar contraceptive industry and access to abor tion. Sex is for bonding, recreation and pleasure and heterosexuals only have sex in order to conceive a child in the tiniest minority of instances whereby they have sexual intercourse. Sex is for enjoyment and procreation is only one of the reasons a couple may have intercourse and it is the least popular one. I witnessed many arguments launched in the media this past week claiming there was something immoral about a woman making herself available for surrogacy. Developing a child inside one’s own body for someone else who is unable to conceive is a fantastically generous under taking and when it comes to women’s right to choose the maxim is: her body, her choice and this applies to women who choose to be surrogates, too. Another objection to gay people parenting children that is trotted out with monotonous frequency is that supposedly it isn’t fair on the children to come from non-traditional families because these children may be bullied or feel alienated by their peers. The problem here isn’t the children or their gay parented families: it’s homophobia. That is what needs to be eradicated: when homophobia is eradicated then the children will not be singled out. As we evolve away from a heteronormative culture, children who are conceived through assisted reproductive methods and who live in gay parented families can be welcomed into their peer groups where all the children come from all sor ts of family groups including married heterosexually parented families, single parented families, divorced families and blended families. There really isn’t one norm anymore in any event. There are lots of norms! Infants and very young children ponder the existential question: “where did I come from” and this continues into adulthood when we consider where our planet and universe originated. Existential curi-

osity is normal but it doesn’t follow that everyone must come into existence in the same way. Sometimes the simplest explanations are the most profound: I shall always remember with great affection when I was six years old my mother’s answer when I asked her where I came from: “There is a seed that grows when there is love and it grew into you” Would the answer be any different if a small child who was borne of assisted reproduction asked the same question? There were vehement attacks online suggesting that surrogacy and assisted reproduction were completely wrong both morally and philosophically and to those people who are anti-gay and/ or oppose gay parenting and assisted reproductive methods, I would ask this: Would you have forfeited your chance of life here on earth if the only way to come into existence would have been through assisted reproduction and being parented in a home by two gay caretakers as parents? What about the children in your family or the children you know -- or any adult you love? If the only way they could have come into existence and the only way you could have had the chance to meet them was in the way you so vehemently object to -- would you rather they didn’t exist, that they had never been born? http://TrevorMar tinWriter.com @Trevor_Mar tin_

------------------Trevor was born in Northern Ireland and now lives in San Francisco. He has a degree in Performance Arts from Middlesex University, London and spent a year studying Psychology at Leicester University. He has been a professional actor and appeared in the original production of Evita and the Tony award winning Grand Hotel directed by Tommy Tune. He is now a writer and enjoys scuba diving but his favourite hobby is sandwiches. --------------------

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NO GAYS ALLOWED

the Conscience Clause DUP Assembly Member, Paul Givan’s consultation on a proposed amendment to the sexual orientation regulations closed on Friday 27th February. The bill, which has been dubbed the ‘conscience clause’ has been opposed by a number of political parties and LGBT organisations and we sat down with Gavin Boyd, Policy Manager for The Rainbow Project to talk about the bill and the impact it will have on the LGBT community in Northern Ireland. What is the conscience clause? The conscience clause is an amendment to the Equality Act (Sexual Orientation) Regulations (Nor thern Ireland) 2006. These regulations ensure that no-one can be denied goods, facilities or services on the grounds of their sexual orientation. The conscience clause would amend the regulations to allow businesses to deny goods, facilities and services if providing them contradicted their religious beliefs. Where did it come from? I’m sure most people are now aware of the infamous Ashers gay cake case where a Christian-owned bakery said they no longer wanted to complete an order for a cake with ‘suppor t gay marriage’ on it. The person

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who wanted the cake made felt that this was discrimination and brought a complaint to the Equality Commission. The Commission agreed that this had been discrimination and

“A restaurant could turn away a same-sex couple at the door, taxis could refuse to pick up LGBT people, landlords could deny a tenancy to a same-sex couple.” wrote to the bakery stating that they had acted unlawfully and urged them to make amends. The bakery has stuck to its viewpoint and now the case is to be heard by a judge. That sounds complicated.. It is. It’s a pretty complicated case and that’s the key point. This is a hard case and hard cases make bad

law. Christians do not experience widespread discrimination in Nor thern Ireland and so the conscience clause is a solution to a problem that doesn’t exist. I can understand that some Christians feel left behind in the change towards societal acceptance of LGBT people but the way to create a pluralist and diverse society is for Christians and other religious groups to engage with the LGBT community and get to know their LGBT neighbours and not simply pass a law which limits the rights of LGBT people. How will this affect LGBT people in Northern Ireland? If the law was brought in it would mean that any business could deny service to LGBT people and claim that they were following their religious beliefs. A restaurant could turn away a same-sex couple at the door, taxis could refuse to pick up LGBT people, landlords could deny a tenancy to a same-sex couple and they could all get away with it by using their religious beliefs as a shield. What are the chances of this passing? Thankfully, the chances of this becoming law are very slim. Sinn Fein and other par ties have committed to blocking it in the Assembly but

even if they did not, the conscience clause is not competent legislation. It is clearly incompatible with the European Convention on Human Rights and the Assembly cannot legislate for anything incompatible with the convention so it is likely that it would be struck down by the cour ts very quickly. Our concern is more about the impact that this debate is having on community relations. We have received a lot of messages from LGBT people who are worried about this debate increasing hostility to LGBT people, par ticularly in more rural par ts of Nor thern Ireland where people already feel more isolated. Suppor ters of the conscience clause have tried to make this a debate about Christians v. LGBT people, but of course they forget that a lot of people are both. What’s next for the conscience clause? Now that the consultation is closed, it is likely that a motion suppor ting the clause will be brought to the Assembly. It’s impor tant for everyone to get in touch with their elected representatives and let them know where you stand on this. You mightn’t be able to change their mind but at least they will know that their constituents don’t suppor t this bill.

ABOUT GAVIN: Before becoming Policy Manager, Gavin worked for four years as The Rainbow Projectâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Education Equality Officer, suppor ting LGB&T young people and training teachers in combatting homophobic and transphobic bullying. His background is in law and politics and after graduating from Queenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s University, Belfast he worked as a policy advisor to Dolores Kelly MLA.

Happy 3rd birthday to us. Twenty-ninth March 2012. It’s a day that’s firmly etched in our minds here at GNI. It was the day that Ben Cohen launched GNI/GayNI at our launch par ty in the Shoe Factory, Belfast. He was the coverstar of our very first issue. Back then we were a wee small A5 sized pocket magazine. Over the years we’ve worked hard here and pushed ourselves to keep getting better - and bigger. Resulting in what you have in your hand now. We are proud of what we do every day, working towards presenting to you and everyone else with a high end publication packed with positive stories, interviews and features. Now is a good time to say thanks too, thanks to you all for sticking by us and reading the magazine, thanks to Anthology who have suppor ted us from day one, thanks to every adver tiser who has made it possible for us to get the magazine out, thanks to the critics who’ve spurred us on to keep getting better, thanks to our amazing contributors who open up about par ts of their lives in every issue, and thanks to our inhouse team who treat working on GNI as if it was their own. THE AWARD WINNING

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PAUL KAVANAGH

What is your job title? I’m a Nurse Commissioner. I provide professional nursing input to the commissioning of Health and Social Care Services in Nor thern Ireland. How long have you been doing it? Just over four years.

What were your previous job titles? I was Regional Lead Nurse for Endoscopy in Nor thern Ireland, which required me to modernize endoscopy services to enable the roll out of the bowel cancer screening programme about five years ago. Prior to that I worked in Dublin as a theatre services manager in one of the biggest private hospitals down there, where all the famous people had their babies. That must have been a bit crazy! It was but you got used to it because they’re just normal like us.

Describe a typical day in your work… It’s non clinical so it’s not like working in a ward or theatres. A typical day for me is getting my child up in the morning. My husband works for a bank and he’s away a lot. A lot of services are Belfast centric, so I have a hot desk in Linenhall Street, but I also have my own office in Ballymena County Hall. I attend meetings, answer emails and do whatever needs done. It’s more about stakeholder management and giving professional advice to commissioning decisions. What do you love most about your job? The autonomy.

What kind of support do you provide to LGBT people? I am the chair of the health and social care LGBT Staff Forum. The Public Health Agency along with the Health and Social Care Board in Nor thern Ireland jointly commission services. Ultimately the main aim of the Public Health Agency is to promote health and wellbeing, and to prevent ill health. A lot of this work is targeted at the minority groups within our community, LGBT being one

of those. Within that there is an LGBT strategy, looking at things like isolation, exclusion, and mental health – which is a big thing in the LGBT world. An action plan was developed, following a piece of work done by The Rainbow Project called ‘Through Our Eyes’. Statistics indicated that there was a huge need for more suppor t because there were a lot of staff within the health and social care sector who felt that they couldn’t be open about their own sexual orientation. Some had heard homophobic comments in the workplace, and some had been subjected to homophobic bullying. From there we did a thematic review and developed the Staff Forum. We wanted the Forum to be informative in nature – a safe, confidential place where people who worked in health and social care who identified as LGBT could come and receive information, for instance about adoption, solicitor’s advice about same-sex relationships, civil par tnerships, marriage etc. The other side of that was focusing on health improvement, and ill health prevention… That was the premise at the star t. Having been a nurse for 15 years, a lot of my friends are nurses, doctors, radiographers etc. But I found it hard to entice them to attend, and that was because, like myself (luckily), they didn’t see being LGBT as an issue. They associated an LGBT Staff Forum as somewhere people would be coming to address contentious issues, and complain. Of course, there will always be that component to the forum – people can come, stand together, and get the suppor t they need. However since I took over as Chair in December, I have striven to introduce another element to the Forum; a more suppor tive group where you can come and have a coffee, have a chat, or watch a film in good company, depending on what’s on that evening. It’s a bit more inclusive and balanced, as opposed to being solely problem focused. Obviously, we make sure we are helping where required, but we also just want to create a sense of solidarity – you don’t have to have issues! I’d like to introduce a buddy scheme as well. Cer tainly when I was a student nurse, I heard comments about my sexuality and I was never openly gay as a student. I just never had the confidence to come out at work. I hope that now, through me being identifiable, many more people

will join the LGBT Staff Forum.

How often does the Forum meet? Quar terly, at the moment. Down the line, maybe in the summer, I hope that we can meet more frequently.

Before the Staff Forum was set up, what kind of support was there for LGBT people in the Health and Social Care profession? There’s always been equality and diversity awareness and training, but it wasn’t very widespread across all organisations. The impor tant par t of the Forum is that we have established a confidential email. I have a great project manager called Leanne, and she has a single distribution list, which is sent out confidentially. This helps to give people the confidence to attend. We also have a Health and Social Care Staff Forum webpage, with a live Twitter feed, and we’ve developed a competency based Health and Social Care training page for all staff, regardless of their sexual orientation. It’s all about raising awareness at a very basic level. We’re so diverse as a society; you can’t assume someone is gay, straight, anything! I’m also linked in with a lot of the pre-registered syllabus in nursing and medicine, to try and promote awareness from the star t.

What do you hope to achieve through your role? Hopefully we can star t educating our own community a lot better, give them ownership of whom they are. Being LGBT isn’t an issue; it’s a non-issue. The complications are absolutely surmountable. I would view my role as a catalyst for change, maybe because I’m a bit more comfor table with myself. I am married, and I’ve adopted a child, so I don’t feel that the barriers people associate with being LGBT apply to me. I talk about my life the same way everyone else talks about their lives… I’m not gay for a living! I hope that I can demonstrate that cer tain things are achievable. Your sexual orientation, or your gender – or whatever – should never ever be a barrier, and you should never perceive it to be a barrier.

COMING OUT

Marty tells his story. page 72 | gnimag.com

Belfast born and bred, we caught up with Marty Kearny and he shared his coming out story with us...... When did you first realise you were gay? I guess I first realized when I knew what GAY meant, I thought yep that’s me all right. In my school every kid from the top spor ts lad to the ginger kid was called a “fruit” “queer” “fag” etc, but when you were actually gay you couldn’t help but take it to hear t, and with those words being associated with being negative, especially when you’re a 12 year old boy it was very scary and worrying when I did first realize. But throughout my school years I was luckier than most, I’d a big brother looking after me, and even though it was never talked about until we were 16 my best friend was also gay so we had each other. What were the circumstances of your first public ‘coming out’? I think the first step is accepting it yourself. I had all those years to get used to it. I was 18 working in the M Club. It gave me a great social life and it was also the first time I star ted hanging around with people from outside Andersonstown. We would go out on Tuesday nights to the Limelight. One night I left early to go home but took a detour to the Kremlin. I said to myself I’ll go in and ask to use the toilet when I got inside there were about 20 other people, some drag queen was playing the weakest link or something like that with some punters, but all I could think was “look how many other gay people are living in in Belfast”. I only knew two other gay people at the time; my friend from school and myself. The next day I told my friend who I was out with and that’s how it went. As the days went on I would tell more and more people from the M Club, at the time these guys where my best friends and they volunteered to come with me. For a lot of weeks on a Sunday we would go - it just got better and better. I was meting so many new people getting a new-found confidence. I never thought in a million years I’d bump into someone I know, well I did. My ExGirlfriend. She was great about it, her sister is also gay and gave me great advice; she advised me to tell my parents before they were told by someone else, she also went on to tell me once they know you won’t care who knows. She was spot on.

Who did you tell, and how did they react? Her name was Kush she was a girl I worked with at the time, she said she knew and that I needed to get myself out on a weekend not a Tuesday night. She came with me and it turned out she was also gay. Was it a big deal for you, or did it feel natural? At the time of course it was a big deal. I was so happy I finally admitted it just not to myself but to other people. It was like the weight of the world had been lifted of my shoulders and life was just star ted to begin. Did you find it difficult to accept your sexuality? In my early teens yes, all the name calling that every student was called didn’t help, and then with all the stigma in the papers. This will come across as cheesy but television shows like Will & Grace and Willows coming out story line in Buffy star ted to shine a more positive light on gay people, and at the end of the day I knew my folks would love me no matter what. Right up until a few years ago I use to think my life would be better and easier if I where straight, I even wanted kids and on point. Being gay doesn’t define me as a person. I’m just a man who happens to be attracted to other men. Back when I was younger, yes it was hard to accept, now I wouldn’t change it for the world. How did your family react? It star ted when I was about 17 my mother would ask me, “Are you gay? You don’t talk to me anymore. I’m worried about you. You can tell me anything.” This went on until the day I admitted it at 19. My brother and I were arguing over socks or something as brothers do. He then shouted “ack away and watch your gay porn”, I felt like my knees would buckle and I would die as I knew my mum overheard. God love her she came out of the room and asked what he was on about? I don’t know I replied and went back into my room. I knew they knew it was just a matter of admitting it. So months went by and I was having the time off my life heading out and meting new friends. But like most mothers mine asks 101 questions. Where are you going? Who with? Who are they? Never heard you talk about them before. Do you

want a lift? So and so on. I had to lie and I hated it, and like my ex-girlfriends sister told me tell your parents before someone else does. So the next time my mother asked I told her. It was very emotional we both cried, and again with the 101 questions. Somethings parents just shouldn’t know. I asked her to not to tell my dad but she said they don’t have secrets, He came in from work and she told him, he knocked on my bed room and told me he loved me and to be honest he’s glad that’s all it was but also to give them time to adjust. And again even though they said they knew, for them they still need time to adjust. And adjust they did. I’m so proud off my folks I’m so lucky to have them, and my brother and sisters also never an issue. I did hear however that sometimes my brother and cousins got teased about having a “gay” in the family, but I didn’t care I was an out and proud gay man at 19 loving life Has anyone’s opinion changed of you since you came out? No. Not that I know of. Have you experienced any negativity because of your sexuality? In the workplace? I have had jobs where it has been an all-male working environment and the conversation has been tits, ass, horses and football, it’s been awkward and uncomfor table, but again if I star ted talking about dicks and desperate housewives those blokes would have been uncomfor table. Although the answer to my question is no I’ve never felt that in any of my jobs. Where do you live? How accepting are people in your hometown of LGBT people? I live in Belfast. I’m a home bird. I’ve had so many oppor tunities to move across the water and to par ts of Europe but gave them all up because I just love home. But The DUP and these Christian groups who more are less run this town want to treat me as a 2nd class citizen and take my equal rights away and introduce a conscience clause. It’s not very accepting. How do you see LGBT rights changing in NI/ Ireland in the near future? The headline in today’s Belfast Telegraph “The Christians fight back”. There shouldn’t be a fight

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for them to fight back. That “gay cake” should have been made. I should be able to marry who I want and where I want. May it be a fancy hotel or a chapel, church, Synagogue. And not a civil par tnership, a proper marriage. I should not be refused service because some people believe that a book that was written 1000s of years ago says I’m an abomination. Really? Seriously? I shouldn’t have to fight for these things, they should just be par t of my equal rights as a human being. I really do hope things change because I would really hate to have to say I’m ashamed to be from Ireland. Did you ever feel the need to seek professional advise/support, and if so, who from? No I always knew I had great suppor t in my family. If I did need suppor t I would go to them. Life motto… Don’t talk with your mouth full and be nice to people. What are the most important things in your life? My family I have great love and suppor t from them and it’s true what they say; family is the most impor tant thing. But I know not everyone is as lucky as me, That’s why some people make their own family, I’ve a family outside my family; my two best friends Stephen and Spud, brothers from other mothers. And of course my health, I’m lucky to be able to travel and go do the things I enjoy; the gym, the cinema, and socialize - we take our health for granted. We don’t know how lucky we are. What do you do for a living, and what would be your dream job? I work as a switchboard operator for the Belfast Metropolitan College and I love it. My dream job would be to be a staff writer for one of my favorite TV shows, I’m a bit sad and write fan fiction. Can you imagine if it was real? I love a good death scene, I imagine I’d have so many bribes from the actors, No one would be safe. What are your plans for the future? Ideally I would like to meet someone who pulls on my hear t strings and settle down. Until then just travel more. Be the best uncle in the world. Look after number one, me. But if I have leant anything this past few months is to take each day at a time we don’t know what’s around the corner.

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If you’re in distress or despair, or you know someone who is, call Lifeline 24/7 on 0808 808 8000 You’ll get immediate help over the phone. If appropriate we’ll give you an appointment for face to face counselling in your local area within 5 - 10 days.

Calls to Lifeline are answered by qualified counsellors who can provide help and support in confidence. Calls are free from all landlines and most mobiles. (Textphone: 18001 0808 808 8000)

A.V. Perry Her Life. Her Thoughts.

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e P . V . A

u o h T r e H . e f i L r He

Hi there you gorgeous and fabulous people! I hope life is treating you well and that you are reading this in good health and happiness.

I am so excited to share some great news with you all. GNI won Best Online Contribution at last month’s N.I. Goscars ceremony in the Kremlin. I was asked by our Editor to go up and accept the award on behalf of the company. I was honoured and I was drunk. It’s not very often I let my hair down and even rarer for me to drink on an empty stomach. Note to self; do not do both when at an awards ceremony ever again! Everyone was so grateful and graceful but Alicia was fist pumping and all sor ts. To say that I’m a little, well, skundered would be an understatement. I just knew how impor tant it was for us as a team of people doing good work for the LGBTQI community to be recognised and boy are we humbled by it. Moreover, I knew how much it meant to Tony our Editor as he really doesn’t get the credit he deserves. He star ted the magazine three years ago in his wee bedroom with a dream of being the first home-grown, glossy, lifestyle magazine for the community. He really does care and has a great big hear t! A huge THANK YOU! to everyone who voted for us, it means a great deal to know you care and respect us. In the recent Shor ty Awards 2015 I finished 6th out of hundreds in my category. I didn’t make the top 3 but to be honest I felt like I won finishing 6th in a global vote for an author category. For the first time in a long time I really feel proud of myself. They say pride comes before a fall but I feel if you don’t let that pride go to your head, you won’t fall. I will always be grateful and humbled by everyone who voted for me so a huge THANK YOU! to you all for making a girl feel good about herself. I was recently informed that I’ve been nominated for a Spirit of Nor thern Ireland Award. I page 78 | gnimag.com

actually felt overwhelmed reading what this person had said about me and to be nominated here at home means the world to me. I am completely humbled by it. If you want to suppor t my nomination you can by emailing spiritofniawards@sundaylife.co.uk with your name, contact number and a shor t statement why. This one is more impor tant to me so if you can spare a few seconds I’d deeply appreciate it. A few weeks ago I did an in-depth interview with Frock Magazine as I feel it is impor tant to share my messages on many platforms. The journalist Caden was so sweet and endearing. Frock is a glossy, bi-monthly, onlline magazine that has a high readership. I star ted back to the gym last month to try and get back into shape. I let myself go for a few months but I’m back with a vengeance. I joined Shaftsbury Recreational Centre and star ted to work with Sinead. I must say what a view! Not Sinead, though she’s lovely, the view across the river Lagan. Wow! It makes staying on the crosstrainer longer more bearable. The staff are so friendly and Sinead, well that girl is a machine! I’ve been watching how available she is to everyone there when she is on duty. Even if it’s just a hello she acknowledges everyone and that says something. She has me motivated, focused, sore but feeling fantastic! She cer tainly knows her stuff and is an asset to the Gym. I guess I should address the issue now, I am single again due to the breakdown of my engagement with my ex-par tner. Instead of sitting alone listening to Ed Sheeran and having a Bridget Jones moment, I took to catching up with my friends and star ted to go out more. I must say, while it was quite a dark time in my life, I am totally over it and enjoying life again. Credit where it is due I simply must hail and praise the Management, Bar Staff and Door Staff of the Kremlin Nightclub and Union Street Bar. They are kind, cour teous, welcoming, friendly,

helpful and well, damn right professional at all times! I personally have witnessed and experienced genuine hospitality from everyone but there are a par ticular a few I’d like to mention. One Wednesday evening I had dinner with friends and we decided to go down to the Union Street Bar in Belfast. We got exceptional service from young Thomas who is a true gentleman and all credit to the company. He served us, brought the drinks over and even pulled out a seat for me. That’s the first time that has happened to me in many years going out to restaurants and bars so I had to bring that up. More businesses should learn from that as research shows it is the workers on the frontline that are your competitive edge; not the shor t-term profit margin. Thank you Thomas for just being you! Another night (there were a few) I was out with my bestie Tanya but this night someone was a little worse for wear. After a brief stint in the Union and then the Kremlin I took Tanya out to Spaghetti Arms beside Union Street Bar to get her some food. While she was scoffing it down I went outside to see what was going on as there was a commotion in the street. One of the Door Staff was being attacked. I was shocked. Within seconds the G.M. and several door staff appeared with the Head of Security being the person to intervene and help diffuse the situation. I must say I was thoroughly impressed. It was like a silent, military operation and they were all just present. They didn’t weigh-in, intimidate or confront the man, they were just ‘there’ and the first word that came into my head was ‘professionalism.’ I have two things to say to all the staff of the Kremlin and Union Street and the management, well done and thank you for keeping us safe! With the for thcoming LGBT Wedding Referendum next month in Ireland I have been asked what I thought. I simply say that I am a believer of God, I worship and honour him. I believe he has a plan for us all. Whether you are LGBTQI,

y r r e

. s t h ug

straight, gender variant or non-binary, as long as you are a genuine and sincere soul, you have the God-given right to be accepted and included in life. We are evolving as a human race and we are developing as individuals; par t of that development should be to learn more about each other and not discriminate against a person because of who they choose to love. God is all about loving your Brothers and Sisters so I think that should be given more significance and prestige. Finally, just before going to print I received some really sad news. A girl I knew from high school and had still be in touch with today had tragically lost her life. Her name was Gail. She had the most beautiful face and a smile that would warm your hear t. She had been suffering for a long time with personal issues and went to a dark place where she took her own life. The news broke my hear t and caused me great concern. All too often I am hearing of people I know and don’t know committing suicide. This really pains my soul to think that more and more are feeling they have no way out but to do this. Are we failing these people as a society and if so what can we do? Do we need more education and awareness to spot the signs? If you or someone you know is having a hard time please do reach out and contact someone. Speak out. Tell someone how you feel. Feeling suicidal or thoughts of self-harm can arise from a variety of stresses, emotional reasons, the abuse of drugs or alcohol, or mental illness. Whatever the reason, there is help available and people on hand who want to help you. You owe it to yourself and everyone around you to reach out before it’s too late! Rest in Peace Gail. Xxx

CHILD YOU ARE ME Looking back at you now I wonder, What kind of life you could have led. If only things had of been different, And your curiosity wasn’t fed. You were always such a bright kid, When needed you were forever there. But once the pain had started, People began thinking you didn’t care. The implicit trust you built was broken, Others stripped you of your self-respect. Why wasn’t this madness stopped, Was it really that hard to detect? The hurt you went through makes me angry, You looked happy when inside was sad. Did you bring it all upon yourself? Surely no one could say you were that bad. I had never seen you so lonely, God all you seemed to do was cry. Isolated from the pleasures of childhood, Still tormenting yourself as to why. The pressure of hiding that secret, Caused confusion which sent you crazy. The agony of losing control, Made your future look so dazy. All in all you did come forward, And helped others like you to see. These vultures have to be stopped, And the silent suffers be set free. The praise which comes out of all this, Is one that makes me proud to say. You made it stop from happening again, Maybe you’ll realise this someday. I feel it’s time for me to tell you, So the truth you will now see. The reason to how I know all this, Is because Child, Child you are me. AV Perry

Happy Easter! Stay Blessed Peeps! Alicia xox

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IT’S A GIRL THING

‘Lez Demythify This’ Elaine O’Shea: The Sapphic Life

As lesbians we have a ridiculous amount of stereotypes to deal with. Given that every individual is unique, being a gay woman should be no different. After all, not every Irish person is in the pub reading this with a pint in their hand, moaning about the weather..Oops! #caught! Ah sure, never-mind, there is no stereotype that defines exactly what it means to be a gay girl in looks, personality or quirks. Now, here are some of the more widely recognised myths we have all heard more than once… The cult of Ellen (aka we all have short hair) Possibly my most hated stereotype for two reasons. Reason number one: many heterosexual woman prefer it too (Does anyone remember America’s sweethear t Meg Ryan pre-botox catlike face?), and two: I absolutely love having my hair long and hate the pass-remarkable “oh you’ve long hair you can’t be one of them” comments. Now just because the most famous lesbian in the world, Ellen, happens to have shor t hair doesn’t mean that every gay girl on the face of the ear th has to follow suit. Perhaps it’s kept shor t to avoid the drama of stepping outside the door into that cold Belfast air and gusts of wind ruining your brand new haircut. It’s a choice! Just like the decision to watch ‘The L Word’ or ‘Lip Service’ DVDs on a night when the effor t of going out is so much that you don’t even care about jumping into those skinny jeans you reserved for the rare “girls only nights”. Scissoring Ah yes, the ultimate lesbian sex act. The one they depict so cheaply in page 80 | gnimag.com

porn movies, and in the straight male mind it’s all we do; but do we actually do it? Well, the answer is simple, it’s yes and no, depending on preference. The first thing all bi-curious straight girls and lesbian-obsessed males need to understand is that it’s a fairly complicated position that you need to get just right (and no, pilates and yoga classes WON’T help with it). It’s all about matching your bodies up and finding the right spot (preferably “G”). I could go into details but this isn’t lesbian sex 101, you’ll find that in many good libraries or book shops, in the back of the room, hidden where the lights are way down beside the hurdy-gurdy self-help section. Uhaul You meet, you hook up, suddenly the moving van is outside and your two cats are looking into your eyes wondering where it all went wrong. Damn judgmental pussies! This myth I actually find humorous, because a large por tion of lesbian women, including my current squeeze, are as commitment-phobic as Charlie Sheen at a whorehouse. We cer tainly do not move in after a few dates, and let me take this oppor tunity to say that most people I know who have moved in quickly are heterosexual. It’s all down to the relationship. Two women aren’t more inclined, I’m afraid, no matter what fan-fictions and/or TV Shows say. Lesbian Bed Death So you moved in too fast, and suddenly your sex life star ts to burn out quicker than Lindsay Lohan at a rehab centre. However, isn’t this true of every relationship? A sexless love-life is common because that passion you feel at the beginning isn’t

like the Olympic flame, it actually fades out with time. All you have to do is work on it. But suggesting that the LBD is realistic is just a bad way of saying that just because you’re a lesbian you are less likely to put the effor t in. Tut Tut… our shor t nails are out. Runners and heels Now this is an interesting one. Chances are if you go to a straight bar you will see nonstop girls in skir ts and heels so high that they end up in their bare feet being carrying out by midnight. However, go to a gay bar and suddenly it’s like an adver tisement for converse. That awkward moment when you and the gal queuing for the toilet both have on the same pair of Wonder-Woman Special edition from Schuh. Then, if someone shows up in heels and a dress, everyone looks at her like she’s a limpy gazelle who’s wandered into a lion house by mistake, “she’s straight, lynch her!” So for me this one is actually debatable. I myself would love to live in heels but can’t last more than an hour without clinging out of someone neck´s as hard as an american visiting Ireland on Paddy’s Day! So I’ll leave this one open for debate... The Feminist Club So you walk into a bar after work and notice a group of women in the corner with wine bitching about men. “They must be lesbians!”, everyone thinks. But wait, you look more closely and see wedding rings, words like “boyfriend”, “husband”, and “manicure”...they’re actually hetero. Straight girls live with and date men, so why exactly should they bother us in anyway? I absolutely adore men, they just don’t appeal to me as much

as Angelina Jolie or a glass of Chardonnay. A gang of lesbians sitting in the corner have a lot more to rant about than men, things like buy one get one half price in GAP jeans or simply what’s coming next in Orange is the New Black. As for men, we can take them in heavier doses than straight girls cause at the end of the day, it’s not us who will be waiting for them at home after a night out with “their buddies”. Which one is the man? Myself and my girlfriend frequent a rock bar and more times than we wished for, have ended up chatting to men where the question “which one of you is the man?” has popped up. Firstly, what exactly does this mean? Is it a ‘polite’ way of saying who’s on top? All I could say to the baffled face in front of me (who clearly awaited a detailed response (á la Hot Lesbians in Lingerie kindof-film) was, “well, in most straight relationships it’s clearly the woman who wears the trousers, so there is no man cause we are two women. End of story.” Well, that concludes some lesbian myths getting debunked. You have officially graduated from Sapphic School Lesson #1. Now, I’m off to clean my strap on... I’ll meet yous all for sushi later!

Promoting inclusive workplaces www.lgbtstaff.hscni.net A forum to provide a safe and welcoming space for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people working within health and social care, and to create an inclusive environment and improve wellbeing for all.

Meetings take place on a quarterly basis with the next meeting planned for 18 June 2015. Please email lgbtstaff@hscni.net for more information or visit our website for information on news, upcoming events, and resources including online training, frequently asked questions and help and support. You can also follow us on twitter @LGBT_StaffForum.

CONLETH RECOMMENDS Hey Everyone! Finally Spring is here! Yay! Brighter evenings are on their way and we will be in our T-Shirts and shorts before we know it. How amazing that we won another GOSCAR. I’m so pleased the magazine is going from strength to strength! Unfortunately I wasn’t able to attend the award ceremony because I am in rehearsals for my new play ‘Rise Like A Phoenix’ which opens in London on April 8th at the UK’s Award-Winning and only dedicated LGBT Theatre. It’s a wonderful play that deals with the stigma of HIV and how 5 positive men deal with their diagnosis. It couldn’t be more different to anything I have done before but I am enjoying the challenge immensely. If any of you are in London it would be great to see you in the audience! Lots of Love xx Conleth

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Ciaran Nolan and I shared the stage in ‘Cinderella’ at the Grand Opera House The key beau ty o behind th f this pic back in Christmas 2012. He was a dream to work with and a wonderful actor and it tu e sheer re, is tha mos t s te llar movie t Disney has been a joy to see his career soar. After a four week off-Broadway run in New York has one cas ts I h ver y lon ave seen g time. City where the play was nominated for ‘Best Play’, ‘Best Actor’ and ‘Best Director’ at the Cinderella on the b reduced o f the ig (LilyJame me to te screen fo 1st Irish theatre festival, Brassneck Theatre Company are delighted to be back on home s) is simp ar s. Tw Wicked r a ly brea th ice. He Stepmoth -t r soil again at the Lyric for one week only! ‘Sean Doran’ (Ciaran Nolan) hasn’t had the a e a k r c in ha te her tin (Ca te Bla g charac te nchett) h g is sublime. Ev and best of luck. He’s been sacked from his job, his girlfriend and child have left him and he’s r, yet a t a e her si tua n s the abili ty th times tion to make e back living in his ma’s house... If this kid bought a duck, it would drown. role, you , she has crea ted you cannot help y o u bu t feel so cannot h so many Alone with a carryout at the Half Moon Lake, Sean reflects on his life so far as he tries elp bu t re layer s in r r y for ac tress sh such an -dis e to make sense of it all. Over the course of one moonlit evening, he takes us on a soulinfamous appeara really is. I also co cover how much nce uld of searching journey through life, love and death, via his past, present and future. A hilariplays the from the ever-q n’t help bu t adore an amazing uir k y He Fa the ver y ous rollercoaster with a dark twist, Man In The Moon is the tender story of one man’s lena Bon b your par ir y Godmother, r ie f ham Car who pro t is, you resolve, to overcome everything that life has to throw at him. Get yourselves down to te v r w e who ill s forever a bou t how definitely be rem no ma tter how the Lyric Theatre to and you’ll see just why this actor made this one of the most talked small embered much I lo to the sc . I could ved ene about plays off-Broadway last year! How great to see local talent go international. I go on see it an r y, to the score… this movie, from the cos tu d be tran . you nam spoke to Ciaran and got an exclusive quote for GNI! He said ‘The show is proper Belfast mes, spor ted e it - I lo for two b back to lissful ho humour, and the audience leaves the theatre with more than a bit of hope in their lives. your child ved it. Go and ur s. hood New York was amazing and tough all at the same time, the show was taken out of it’s page 82 | gnimag.com comfor t zone but was still huge success which was testimony the piece.’

Tom talks

YOUR vote counts “Tolerance and decency are deeply rooted in England, but they are not indestructible, and they have to be kept alive partly by conscious effort.” George Orwell exclaimed this in an appendix to Animal Farm, one of his most famous works. An allegory of the interaction between government and culture, it depicts an eventful number of years on Manor/Animal Farm: What begins as a revolutionary self-rule by all animals collectively ends in the progressive return to an exploitative and totalitarian dictatorship. Throughout the book, Orwell introduces themes of propaganda and fascism, religious utopianism (the promise of Sugarcandy Mountain for enduring contemporary hardship), and the power of education and knowledge - a pre-requisite for the ability to reason and understand. It is April now, and the countdown to the election has officially begun. In only a few weeks, it will be decided once again who our rulers will be - in Westminster for the UK Parliament and in Stormont for the Local Assembly of Nor thern Ireland. It is your power, privilege and responsibility to determine who will govern the land for another five years. A lot is at stake! This, we have seen, and - until the last vote is cast - will continue to see at the severity by which campaigning battles have been fought. It’s not all about UK Parliament though - in Nor thern Ireland the stakes are high, too - especially for LGBT people. Just recently, Asher’s cake cour t case went into session. (By the way, have their Christian beliefs stopped them selling sweets during lent? Just wondering...) The DUP`s Paul Givan proposed an initiative to perver t the 2006 Equality Act - ironically calling it a “conscience clause”. (About a quar ter of a million people signed the petition against this already, with Sinn Fèin vowing to veto any such proposal in the assembly.) Mr. Robinson (DUP), the First Minister publicly attacked the equality commission for the cost the Asher’s case had produced, completely diver ting from the fact that issues like this case are the core purpose of the equality’s existence. The worrying fact is that Mr. Robinson is actually assigned oversight over the commission at the moment. Some good news: In May, the Republic of Ireland is holding a referendum on marriage equality! Congratulations to our brothers and sisters over the border - what an accomplishment! However, it is bittersweet for us in the Nor th; it could mean that Nor thern Ireland might soon be the only country in the UK, and the British Isles, that does not suppor t the marriage of two people in love, who happen to have the same gender. So - truly, there is no greater right than the one to vote. Electing your representative is probably based on a variety of reasons. This is par ticularly true here, in Nor thern Ireland, where national identity has been historically a complex matter. However, in this moment in time, so much stands at a turning point. If you are lesbian, gay, transgender, bi - or, in fact, one of your loved ones is, you must realise your chance to make a difference towards a more tolerant and decent society. Make your voice heard: VOTE.

gnimag.com | page 83

For this election issue, we contacted the Green Party, the SDLP, the Alliance Party, the DUP, the UUP and Sinn Féin with five very specific questions on major LGBT issues. Three of them came back to us. We believe, in this instance, that even the lack of a statement is a statement! Read here what the others had to say....

Michael Gray Sloan Political Adviser to Caitriona Ruan

Mar tin McAuley Press Officer SDLP

First of all, how do you assess the atmosphere in Northern Ireland towards LGBTs? Do you think it is a good country to live in for gays and lesbians? If you were an LGBT youngster, do you imagine you would want to live here, or rather move to a multicultural metropolis such as London?

One of the most prominent achievements for LGBT campaigners in the rest of the UK has been the legislation of marriage equality. Even in the Republic of Ireland, a referendum is now being held. What is your stance towards gay marriage? Why is Northern Ireland the only country that hasn’t legalised it yet? And what priority does it have on your political agenda?

Ireland is changing and so are attitudes – but we are not there yet. We do take hear t in that with every day that passes we are moving closer to a more egalitarian society. It is up to us as a society to encourage that change. Although we still are not there in terms of genuine equality for all – we do believe Ireland is a good country for all sections of the community including members of our LGB&T community. All of us need to play our role in making Ireland a place that is inclusive and that is welcoming. Political par ties must play their par t and stand up for LGB&T citizens. Sinn Féin is campaigning strongly for a yes vote in the up and coming marriage equality referendum and we want to marriage equality to be extended to the Nor th as well. We don’t want to see anyone being forced to leave Ireland whether that’s due to lack of oppor tunities or because they feel Irish society isn’t welcoming of gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender people.

Sinn Féin is suppor tive of marriage equality and has twice brought motions to the Assembly in an attempt to have it enshrined in law in the Nor th of Ireland. Unfortunately, motions of concern have blocked it at both occasions but we will continue to pursue the matter as it is impor tant that all sections of our society gain equality. There is a fundamentalist Christian element that has major influences in other political par ties and they have blocked Sinn Féin’s attempt to introduce a marriage equality bill through the Assembly by a Petition of Concern. Sinn Féin will continue to campaign for marriage equality. We would encourage other political par ties to suppor t us in campaigning for marriage equality. Equality is top of the Sinn Féin political agenda and everything we do is scrutinised by ensuring that it is equality proofed, therefore the campaign for marriage equality will continue to be a major political goal for the par ty right across the island of Ireland.

People in Nor thern Ireland are open, welcoming and friendly. It doesn’t matter what your background, religion, race or sexual orientation, the people here will warmly welcome you into their community. We cannot, however, pretend that prejudiced attitudes towards members of the LGBT community don’t exist. These negative attitudes are suppor ted and informed by the irresponsibility of other political par ties who oppose lifting the ban on gay men donating blood, on LGBT couples adopting and on Equal Marriage. Our people are far ahead of some of our political par ties and it’s impor tant that more LGBT people involve themselves in political life. The SDLP is fully suppor tive of enhancing LGBT rights. We have called on the Health Minister to lift his discriminatory ban on gay men donating blood and are suppor ters of equal marriage.

The SDLP suppor ts the equal marriage campaign. We have suppor ted equality for the LGBT community since our foundation and passed a motion at our par ty conference calling for equality for everyone in the context of LGBT rights. It is unfor tunate that some political par ties refuse to recognise the love between same sex couples and refuse to allow couples to have that love recognised by the state. The SDLP is committed to ensuring equality for all people under the law and that means that marriage equality is a significant priority.

No response

I think that Nor thern Ireland by and large is a tolerant society. However, it only takes a minority of people to act in a discriminatory manner to make someone feel unwanted or insecure. The fact that this intolerance has been given a respectability by some of our politicians through their rejection of proposals such as marriage equality must make it incredibly difficult for someone in the LGBT community to feel proud of where they come from and to feel like they are included in our society. I hope, however, that the increasing number of political voices speaking up on their behalf is of some comfor t.

Stephen Agnew MLA

No response page 84 | gnimag.com

I, and my party, are fully supportive of proposals for full marriage equality in Northern Ireland. This position was unanimously backed by our membership at a previous Annual General Meeting and indeed, I brought forward the first ever motion calling for marriage equality in the Assembly. I believe that the perception that those of faith are opposed to marriage equality is what has held back legislation in Northern Ireland. However, I believe that perception to be inaccurate. I was a participant in the Irish convention on the constitution and was delighted that 79% of the convention voted in favour of equal marriage. The perception may have been that ‘Catholic Ireland’ would never endorse such a proposal and I believe the convention was an indicator that despite the direction of the Catholic Church, Ireland will endorse equal marriage in the forthcoming referendum. I hope that others who may have voted against equal marriage in the past will recognise that the majority of the public are more open to such a proposal and will consider voting differently in the future. This issue will remain a priority for my party and me until we have full marriage equality in Northern Ireland.

No response

Another legislative issue: The DUP has made a lot of headlines with the conscience clause bill recently. A lot of people - not only LGBTs - find this initiative preposterous. The mere fact that such a proposal would even gather any momentum makes many of us feel unaccepted, and oppressed in this society. What is your stance towards the issue? Why are we still talking about it and what would you say to the 230.000 people who have signed a petition against it?

Laws build the fundamental basis of the society we live in. Yet, much of how we interact with each other is impressed on us by ‘culture’. Consequently, if ever there will be true equality and acceptance of LGBTs, it will start with future generations. What is being done to educate children towards accepting diversity? And how does this work with schools that are managed by religious institution, which are not always fully supportive of this cause?

Imagine you win the election. What will your first 100 days in office be like? What will be on the agenda regarding LGBT issues?

Sinn Féin is totally opposed to a so-called conscience clause, as we believe it will allow discrimination rather than protection of people’s rights. We felt that strongly that when the bill was brought before the Assembly we introduced a Petition of Concern so that it would not be introduced as law. As Caitriona Ruane MLA stated ‘Paul Givan’s bill is going nowhere.’

The minister has introduced an extended curriculum that embraces diversity and encourages children to cherish differences so hopefully future generations will learn to respect diversity and be more tolerant of people with different colour, creed or sexual orientation. We see no reason why it shouldn’t and we expect all schools to adhere to the guidance, whether they are faith based, integrated, Irish language or controlled schools.

Our focus has always been and will continue to be the unity of our country and an Ireland that has equality at its hear t. That means protecting the most vulnerable in society and continuing to pursue full equal rights for LGB&T citizens. LGBT issues will remain an impor tant focus for the par ty as it is about equality – our guiding document is the 1916 proclamation; we want to see an Ireland that ‘cherishes all of the children of the nation equally’. Sinn Féin will continue to fight until we see genuine equality and every legal protection afforded to our LGB&T citizens.

The SDLP is opposed to the DUP conscience clause legislation. We believe that it is a cynical attempt to hijack a case for political and electoral gain that will discriminate exclusively against the LGBT community. If the DUP wants to protect the conscience of Christians, why does their bill only amend the Sexual Orientation equality regulations? To the thousands who have signed a petition against this legislation we say this- we stand with you and we will ensure that this never becomes law.

There is a clear need for more tolerance. Respect for others is something that is instilled at the earliest stages of a child’s education and we are fully suppor tive of moves to create an open and accepting culture for everyone. Every class in every school will have LGBT pupils, it’s impor tant that they feel accepted and par t of a community. We suppor t moves by former Irish Education Minister Ruairi Quinn TD to introduce mandatory policies requiring all schools to address homophobic & transphobic bullying as well as procedures for developing prevention strategies. We need that in Nor thern Ireland and the SDLP will press for more to be done.

It’s impor tant to first recognise that members of the LGBT community are affected by everything government does, just like everyone else. If the SDLP increases our number of seats at Westminster, we will fight hard to end the Tory austerity that has inflicted pain on so many people here. We will press for stringent equality protections that exist in England and Wales to extend to Nor thern Ireland through a single equality Bill. We will push to ensure that the ban on gay men donating blood is lifted, that the practice of reparative therapy is ended, that access to the Gender Identity Clinic is increased and that the rights of those who identify as LGBT are enhanced.

No response

The Green Par ty Nor thern Ireland is totally opposed to the so-called Conscience Clause as it will legalise discrimination by one group in society against another. I am committed to taking the necessary steps to block such legislation should it reach the floor of the Assembly. I find this to be an odious proposal, designed to cause hur t and division and I am confident that the Assembly will reject it.

No response

I believe that same sex relationships need to be normalised and that includes within our education system. That is a challenge in Nor thern Ireland where section 75 does not currently apply to our schools and where there is still a dominant religious ethos in the majority of our schools. The Green Par ty believes we should have a single secular education system where children, regardless of religious or socio-economic background or academic ability are educated together. This reflects more accurately how society is and how it should be. I think such a context would allow for greater recognition of the rich diversity of our society.

No response

Green Par ty priorities for the for thcoming election will be to propose alternatives to austerity, promote the living wage, and champion equality.

No response gnimag.com | page 85

PJ & Michael are owners and trainers at their gym; Hybrid Fitnss in Belfast City Centre. Both are Strong First trained Personal Trainers and registered Strong First instructors.

FITness the kettlebell swing The swing is exactly what its name implies; a swing of a Kettlebell between the legs up to chest level. If performed correctly, there is not a single exercise out there more beneficial than the Kettlebell swing. The swing should be aggressive, explosive and attacked with a high tempo. You should find a strongfirst instructor to teach you the proper technique before beginning any swing programme.

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Then snap up to a vertical plank position. Make sure to keep your arms straight but looser – the power is generated by the hips from a ‘hinge position’. The motion is akin to a standing vertical jump, except the energy is projected into the Kettlebell rather than being used to lift the body. gnimag.com | page 87

Bliains World

THE PAST, THE PRESENT, AND GRINDR The age of Mixed signals, a time where we value digital notifications before heart-beats, affairs over marriage and threesomes before cuddles on the sofa ,it appears that we have well and truly taken a hop skip and a leap to the future...the beginning of the end and the end of an era. We’ve all heard of Grindr and Tinder...it’s highly unlikely that there are many of us left out there that haven’t explored the infamous apps...either at the hope of a good laugh, a hook -up or the rare chance of finding ‘the one’. As much as many of us may actively encourage an age where we are sexually liberated, equally accepted and free to write our own rule books- it seems that our quest for liberation has opened one great door but closed many windows In the process. At the age of 29 I sensitively admit to being single, where many of my nearest and dearest are merging lives with their significant others, having babies and buying dogs and so on...I find myself no closer to finding that special someone that I may share these pleasantries with too. After two painful break -ups, a year of ‘soul searching’ and ‘bar hoping’ it would be fair to say that there were many occasions in my melodramatic fits of despair and Red wine fuelled epiphanies where I placed the blame on being single on myself! Forget the boyfriend that kept our relationship a secret or the one that cheated, the blame for lack of relationship success could not be lifted from my own shoulders! Eventually however, I moved out of the post break-up fog and began to realise something...I wasn’t to blame after all, and although it kills me to admit it, neither were they. The blame I needed to lay would fall on the shoulders of none other than ‘the dating app’. It made perfect sense, why should we work at relationships and see problems through when we can ‘call it a day’ and have a similar replacement at the touch of a button? All we need to do is create a generic profile 10-30 words describing our dedication to the gym, the car we drive and the size of our dicks and hey presto! we can pull a hook up out of a hat. Like all the great magicians and illusionists of the past that lived their wildest fantasies with the world watching on, we can do the same but with a more selective audience. page 88 | gnimag.com

I recently spent a few weeks chatting to a man that to many single gay guys would be the perfect catch! He was Good looking, financially secure, healthy and seemingly normal. Although many of these qualities may be accurate, this guy would soon reveal to have the one thing missing from my wish list- after many discussions about the usual things such as what we do for work, our favourite TV shows etc we got down to the nitty-gritty and discussed our ideal relationship scenario. Most of those that know me will know that I do not like to waste time, I have a very par ticular type of relationship goal and that is a ‘Monogamous’ one. This guy had other ideas though and they did not involve just he and I, so unfor tunately I decided it would be best to end our contact there and then. However, I by no means have an issue with open relationships, they just don’t fit my life agenda. Ironically though, many of the gay couples I have met over the years put much of their relationship success to it being ‘open’. To me the entire concept feels just as natural as acid running down my back ,I believe in the possibility of an old fashioned kind of love. Some call me foolish and reluctant to move with the times but hey that’s how it is! I would like to stress that I completely suppor t our right to design our own lifestyles (each to their own) and all that. Gay marriage law although it has not quite been given the full seal of approval in Nor thern Ireland - I believe and hope that it is not too far away. I do see a day where I get married and I would truly hope that I may do it in my home town and have the same right as every other person born here. However, when I do get married it will be with a man that shares the same values and belief in love that I do, love as it was shown to me growing up- a par tnership that worked through troubled times, a grandfather and a grandmother that 60 years later still hold hands and sing to each other. A love that doesn’t expire because our batteries have ran dead, a love that endures the realities and challenges of growing old, one that won’t fade at the first flicker of the candle. Of course that little horny app isn’t all bad... many great relationships have been formed because of Grindr, inexperienced gay men have a network from which to educate themselves and gain an insight into the realities of male behaviour. Married ‘straight’ men can organise a sex meet on their lunch breaks and someone will gain a

compliment for a new profile picture. It really is a mixed bag. Some may Argue that it really all boils down to the animalistic nature of the male...well they may have a point! Men are notoriously sexual beings but so what? We learn to execute selfdiscipline in all other areas of our lives, we may not all be in our dream jobs but that doesn’t mean we can drop our trunks and have at it with the office junior! why do our romantic relationships provide a magic key to promiscuity? All birds may have wings but that doesn’t mean they all fly necessarily. I can’t help but feel that although Grindr does offer many excellent oppor tunities, for me the negatives bring far more to the table. Many may argue it’s a sign of the times and we all just need to adapt, well maybe so...some may also argue that humans aren’t designed to be monogamous anyway so what’s the harm in a little fun along the way? Sex is supposed to be enjoyed, so why not enjoy it with as many people as possible? Let’s look at it this way...would the movie ‘Titanic’ have moved us so much if Jack had been shagging every other woman on the Ill-fated ship as well as Rose? The answer is NO!! We love to be in love, love for one another gets us through the day, the idea of your one and only waiting for you as you get home from work, waking up to that guy/girl that makes your hear t beat like mad In the morning. Things so many of us take for granted will one day be a thing of story books because the lines became too blurred. I hope this day shall never be, and I hope more of us in the modern world embrace the old values and interpret them in a modern way I hope that our modern world continues to fight for our sexual freedom and equality, I hope it helps our youth not to be Afraid of who they are, I hope all of my Gay and Lesbian friends all around the world may stand in their home towns and confess their love for all to see and that it may be legal. I hope that technology continues to create new and wonderful things that not only promote a positive future for modern relationships but that they also help us to remember the past and the good fight that has been fought so that when we are lucky enough to find the One that we don’t f**k it up by downloading Grindr. Remember love is possible...X*

gnimag.com | page 89

SJ WILSON Straight eye for the queer guy: “Wash yer mouth out” FAGGOT, POOF, FRUIT, RUG MUNCHER, ABOMINATION, YOU’RE SO GAY, STATE A YE GAY BOY. Got that out of the way now? OK, well as you can tell this is where we are going with this article. Now being straight and looking at this is very different as to being LGBT and looking at this. Fact of the matter is that in Northern Ireland alone these things are said on a daily basis. Bit of a serious one this time around… It is the 21st Century and let’s be honest, growing up in Belfast you have been called a fruit on more than one occasion and that isn’t because you have an Adams apple the size of a cooking apple. I don’t even think people that say these things know what they mean half of the time. Some of these words or sayings have almost become par t of daily life and said without a second thought. Now, I have a wee story to tell ya… I was sitting on a bus the other day and there was a couple sitting having a wee kiss and enjoying each other’s company. As they waited to get off the bus I could see an old lady sitting glaring at them like they were something from another planet. She kept tutting and puffing whilst looking around the bus to see if anyone else was bothered by the PDA. The couple then got off the bus and there was this sigh of relief from the old lady. Then she exclaims to absolutely everyone on the bus that was not paying her any attention at all, “that is disgusting.” I could not help myself but to say something. I asked her why she had a problem with a couple showing their affection towards one another. Her answer was that of a religious brainwashing “it’s not natural. It’s an abomination to God.” Well that set me off on a tangent. I frustratingly asked her would she have been so offended if the couple had been the opposite sex. Of course she mumbled the usual, “that’s different”. I could not believe the attitude of this woman – supposedly an elder in page 90 | gnimag.com

the community that deserved respect. Yes, she is entitled to her opinion and beliefs as are we all, but such a public display of hatred in my opinion is an abomination in God’s eyes. This is a problem that is still alive and well in Nor thern Ireland today. It is not about “Gay Rights” people, it is about Human Rights. From a religious aspect, if you are that way inclined, God’s greatest gift to humanity is free will. Free will to love who we want, live how we want, and believe what we want. Yes, that includes opinions and views that are different to your own. Heaven forbid somebody does not agree with you. Despite those that believe their conscience is more impor tant than yours, there is an obvious lack of responsibility in today’s society from our politicians to other pillars of the community. Responsibility to protect everyone’s freedom, not just the chosen few. This is not about Moses freeing the Jews, this is about everybody. Gay, Lesbian, Bi, Trans AND Straight. Yes, I included straight there. Whilst the filth and minority of idiots remains out there enforcing and dictating THEIR religious beliefs and political views upon the masses, people need to remember that you have a voice, a choice, and the God given Right and free will to live your life as you so wish. We

are never going to agree with everybody 100% of the time, but we can all agree that we as human beings are entitled to basic human rights to live in a fully accepting, inclusive society. Integrated not segregated. How would you feel if you had to put up with bullying and harassment issues all day long and people going, “sure I was only slegging mate”? You wouldn’t like it. So the next time you go to call someone a fruit, or say they are gay, you might want to rethink what comes out of your mouth. Will your conscience allow you to live with that? I think that is what I call having your cake AND eating it. Also can I finish with this, homophobia is the worst word ever. Phobia insinuates a fear of something, like Arachnophobia (fear of spiders). Can I motion to change the word “Homophobia” to something more fitting. Something more appropriate like........ Lovef*ckeruppers? Just some food for thought. Well that’s it for this issue. Be sure to follow me on twitter (@SJWilson25) and give the Facebook page a like (facebook.com/sjwilsonofficial). Thank you!

Jordan & Diona a weird easter Easter is a celebration of the re-birth of the son of God that we now celebrate by pretending to children that a giant rabbit will excrete chocolate eggs for them. So it’s not surprising that some places have developed their own weird and wonderful easter traditions. We’ve had a round up of some of the traditional festivities in Northern Ireland. La Passionata, Banbridge Every year hundreds of eager runners take to the streets of this market town for the yearly ‘La Passionata’. Men and women strip down to traditional easter y-fronts and our chased through the streets by 45 men named Eamon. If ‘Eamon ‘ catches you, he is allowed to use your driveway for six months free of charge as the ancient custom dictates. Crying Christine, Newtownards Thousands of people flock to the town of Newtonards to witness the incredible and magical ‘Crying Christine’ every April. They gather in the town square in the hope that the statue of Christine Bleakley will cry tears of vinegar like it was rumoured to have done in 1994. Local custom says that if a virgin bathes in the vinegary tears, they will make sound financial decisions that year. Easter Parade, Cullybackey There can be no prouder moment for an Antrim man than to be asked to take par t in the Easter parade. Over 3’000 black Labradors were proudly marched through the tiny town last year to the sound of Joe McElderry who was named ‘Dog Man of Antrim’. The dogs took par t in the world’s largest zumbathon to raise money for a new playground at Antrim Hospital to be named after the former X Factor winner. The Bunnyman of Dungiven Every year in this nor th-western town the children have a surprise during easter. The mayor will arrive in their classrooms dressed as a large rabbit, squat and drop an egg into their baskets! If the children make a wish before the egg falls they stand to get a large rebate on council rates. Sharon’s Day, Dungannon Imagine the scene, the market square packed with people all staring at eachother in silence until at the strike of Mid-day on the 12th of April a collective roar of ‘HAPPY SHARON’S DAY’ goes up around the town. On St Patricks day you may go green but in Dungannon everyone becomes Sharon for one day a year.

the

John Hewitt Society

Spring Festival A Festival of Diversity & Debate

Saturday 25th April 2015 The Londonderry Arms Hotel Carnlough

“Coming to terms: learning to live with difference”

The John Hewitt Spring Festival 2015 festival celebrates debate and diversity with a day-long series of events exploring identity in contemporary Northern Ireland.

involved in equality advocacy. ‘[Working in contested spaced] added to my later work within the police to foster a better relationship between the police and the gay community and for gay staff within the police. It gave me something of a unique insight into the dynamThe programme line-up includes novelist Mar tina Featuring: ics, issues and hurdles involved.’ Devlin, poetry from Ciaran Carson and Stephen Creelan was instrumental in developing the Sexton and a debate on diversity in Nor thern IreCiaran Carson | Vincent Creelan human rights training and community awareness land with former Parades Commission chair Peter Martina Devlin | Stephen training packages for new recruits to the PSNI. He Osborne and chief executive of inter-cultural ar ts Sexton launched the Gay Police Association within the charity Ar Peter ts Ekta Nisha Tandon. Osborne | Nisha Tandon Vincent Creelan will take par t in the debate on PSNI and after retirement volunteered with The Rainbow Project for 10 years, acting as Chair of the the theme ‘Coming to terms: learning to live with Board of Trustees for the last four years. difference’. The panel will discuss how old tribal Through lectures, talks and workshops, the divisions have established patterns of behaviour John Hewitt Society works to raise issues of relin this post-conflict society that prove difficult to evance to the divided society in Nor thern Ireland, overcome. Bookto tickets: www.johnhewittsociety.org providing a platform for audiences to engage with ‘Coming terms is a matter for and within speakers from different backgrounds, experiences, minority groups no less than the greater populaand points of view. tion,’ said Creelan. The Society will also bring a number of writing ‘I have found commonalities in the blind spots workshops to small towns and villages in Antrim and stereotyping owned by minority groups to coincide with the festival, to encourage personal concerning those within their respective groups as re-evaluations of identity through creative writing. well as between them and others. Dealing with Creelan star ted writing seriously after retirement perceived hierarchies of discrimination is a never from the PSNI. ‘I spent two fraught and ultimately ending catch 22 situation.’ fruitless years writing a book, only to discover that A retired police officer, Creelan spent much poetry was in fact my calling.’ of his operational career working in contested ‘I did attend the John Hewitt International areas and on interfaces. His experience working in Summer School in Armagh for a week about three areas of conflict within Nor thern Ireland fostered or four years ago which I enjoyed immensely. I a better understanding for addressing issues of have since performed my own and the poetry of difference and division when he later came to be

Day Ticket Offer: £25 all day entry + lunch

others at local events, including The Outburst Ar ts Festival, and continue to write, working towards my first published collection.’ The John Hewitt Spring Festival takes place on Saturday 25th April 2015 in the Londonderry Arms Hotel, Carnlough Tickets on sale now here: johnhewittsociety. org/spring-festival/

NUMB3RS life in the gni office since we saw you last Number of days Beth worked with GNI. Ahhh Betty, the craic was great sure.

How many days Beth complained about the cold. Sitting at her desk in hat and gloves in July n all.

Times we perved on the hot postman. Bring on the good weather and he’ll be in his shor ts again.

Number of times Richard came into work drunk - and it was only his second week!!

Minutes on average Fred takes to go to the toilet in the bar. Like, who does number twos in the bar?

Square metres gained when Team Ulster Ink got new offices. Ceerio Cards Against Humanity on Friday afternoons.

Views on our “When yer gay in Belfast” video on Facebook. Did you’re da go buck daft?

Teirs on our bir thday cake sent in by Kerry’s Parlour Cakes. We love you Kerry :-)

Five bottles of prosecco in the office at our post Goscar par ty. One Goscar won for Best Online Contribution.

Number of bulbs blown in the front office. Sware on our hair there’s a ghost busting them on us.

New team members in the office. Hello Richard and Alicia.

Percentage increse in response Tony gets on Grindr since he took his face pic off it. #uglytony

ar a ing to we “I was go ing, th is th to dick ie bow ught being tho because i uld get y mag I co t a g from a I go h it... but away wit my top n’t do up so fat I ca lising his a re Tony button.” limitations.

office bant random quotes from the office Tony: “How do you spell bukakke?” Eamann: “Google it.”

“OMG, it was o nly a year ag o you w ere really, r eall ally, REA y, really, reLL done.” - Y fat. Well Tony pa ying Fred a c omplim ent.

TOP TEN e t a n u t r Unfo s o g lo

SURELY they MUST have known what they were doing???? Hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s our pick of the best unfortunate logos from across the globe. Chortle.

TEN

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LAST FRIDAY EVERY MONTH LAUNCH PARTY 24.04.15 9pm - 2:30am Shoe Factory Union Street Belfast HOST Alicia Perry IT’S ALL HAPPENIN’ private dressing area makeup artists hair/wig stylist & nail bar photo opportunities free gift bags DRINKS PROMOS 2 bottles Coors £5 2 bottles Sol £5 vodka and energy drink £5 all bombs £3.50 In proud associatoin with

GNI for the trans/gender variant community, their friends and admirers

get off yer hole and get out!

T’ A H

GUID

c i a r C e h t s ’ what

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NOTE: AS WE CAN’T BE RESPONSIBLE FOR LAST MINUTE CHANGES TO LISTINGS, YOU SHOULD CHECK THE ACCURACY OF ALL OF THESE EVENTS YOURSELF WITH INDIVIDUAL VENUES BEFORE PLANNING YOUR BIG NIGHT OUT.

n i l b u D .

out in..

Monday

The Front Lounge – 2 for 1 cocktails Pantibar – Joystick, DJ Dr Beat plays quality 80s music 4 Dame Lane – PrHomo (The Second Coming)

The George – Win, Lose or Drag with Phil T. Gorgeous and Bunny from 9pm, Admission free all night with drinks promos galore! Pantibar – Pints and chats

Friday

Tuesday

The George – Glitterbomb with DJs Ger and Mo, hosted by David D-Pole and his Glitterati Dancers, Drinks promos, Free shots, Admission free before 10pm, €5 from 10 til midnight, €18 after The Front Lounge – DJ Conor Behan playing dance floor fillers from 10pm Pantibar – DJ Steobar and Our Perfectly Preposterous Drinks Specials The Hub – SweatBox

The George – Bassline with DJ Karen, Admission free The Front Lounge – Davina Devine’s Casting Couch, Karaoke from 10pm Pantibar – Pints and chats

Wednesday

The George – Space N’ Veda with Veda Beaux Reves and gorgeous guests, Cabaret, Drag, Video Ar t & Live Music Pantibar – Pints and chats

Saturday

The George – SaturGays with DJ Sean John, Davina, Veda & guests with Beauty Spot Karaoke from 10pm The Front Lounge – Brunch from 12pm, DJ Terry from 10pm

Thursday

The George – Davina Devine hosts Thursty Thursdays with the 11 o’clock show (ish)

Capel Street

Aaran Quay

8 4

3 G C

A 5

Exchequer Street

Bride Street

6 F E Golden Lane

Sunday

The George – Bingo with Shirley Temple Bar, from 9.30pm, Admission free until before 10pm, €5 after The Front Lounge – Brunch from 12pm Pantibar – Shenanigans

Regular Nights

Pop Rox Indie Night @ The Dive Bar (Turk’s Head) – For tnightly Saturdays Crush Girlclub @ Lafayette Club – Check Facebook page for events

DUBLIN VENUES 1 - Panti Bar 2 - Nealons 3 - The Front Lounge 4 - Copper Alley 5 - The George 6 - The Dragon 7 - Lafayette Club 8 - The Hub 9 - The Boilerhouse

Wellington Quay Aston Quay Temple Bar Essex Street

George Street

Essex Quay

Pantibar – The Panti Show from 10pm. Cruisin’, Music, Dancin’, Chattin’ Copper Alley – Mother, the home of synth pop and electro Break for the Border – Meat Street with international guest hosts, DJs and live acts, from 10pm

LANDMARKS A - Parliament Square B - Temple Bar C - Dublin Castle D - The Needle E - Gaiety Theatre F - Grafton Street G - Olympia Theatre

t s a f l Be .

out in..

As always, there’s loads to do in Belfast all week long. Stop bein an antisocial so-andso… go party!

Monday

Union Street – The Trudy Show Maverick – Motor Mouth Mondays, Comedy Night with Gemma Hutton, Doors 9.30pm, Sunf lower – Open Mic Nights, 7pm, Free bottle of beer for every per former Central Bar (Strabane) – BOGOF (Buy One Get One Free) Mondays The Pipeworks Gay Men’s Leisure Complex – KJB Massage 2pm – 5pm

Tuesday

Kremlin – Klub 180, All drinks £1.80 all night, 10pm – 2.30am Union Street – Grannie’s Fun Factory 9pm, All drinks £2 Maverick – RuPaul’s Drag Race Weekly Season 7 Screening Nights on the Big Screen, 9.30pm Sunf lower – The Dandy Horses Unplugged, 7.30pm Boombox – Hoochie Tuesdays with KKRU DJZ Central Bar (Strabane) – Triple Tuesday, Any 3 drinks £5, Pitchers (3 pints Coors/ Carling) £7 The Pipeworks Gay Men’s Leisure Complex – Now open until 4am

Wednesday

Union Street – Tina’s Stop the Clock Maverick – Open Mic Wednesdays hosted by Cherrie On Top from 9pm, Acoustic and Spoken Word Acts Welcome! Complimentary drink for all per formers, Admission free Boombox – Bitch Please! Midweek Scream with Roxy Tumbledryer, Rusty Hinges, DJ Kenny

and Special Guests, 10pm – 3am Central Bar (Strabane) – Big Gay Wednesday with DJ Ricardo, All drinks £1, Admission £3 The Pipeworks Gay Men’s Leisure Complex – Now open until 4am

Thursday

Kremlin – Deuce, £2 entry, £2 drinks Union Street – Okie Dokie Karaoke hosted by Trudy Scrumptious and Rober t Brown Maverick – T’N’T Thursdays with Rusty Hinges and Roxy Tumbledryer, from 9.30pm, Admission free Boombox – ULTRAVAMP, alternative weekly student night with Electra La Cnt, weekly themed par ties and per formances 10pm – 3am Sunf lower – Manouche Gypsy Swing 5.30pm, Sunf lower Folk Club 8pm Central Bar (Strabane) – All drinks £2, Pitchers (3 pints Coors/Carling) £7 The Pipeworks Gay Men’s Leisure Complex – Now open until 4am

Friday

Kremlin – Karnival Weekly Themed Nights, Open until 3am Union Street – The Friday Set Acoustic Sessions with Ash Smith 5pm – 7pm, An evening with Glitzy Glamour from 9pm Maverick – VAGABOND with DJ Marion Hawkes from 9pm Boombox – DOWNTOWN with DJ Jordan, 10pm – 3am Sunf lower – Boxing Hare Wood Fired Pizza 5pm – 11pm in Sunf lower Garden, Traditional Session 8pm Central Bar (Strabane) – Central Fridays, Chance to win £50 bar tab

The Pipeworks Gay Men’s Leisure Complex – KJB Massage 2pm – 5pm

Saturday

Kremlin – Revolution, 9pm – 3am Union Street – Tina’s Trannyoke 5pm – 8pm, Grannie’s Time Tunnel 9pm – Late Maverick – HIJINKS with Lady Por tia Di’Monte from 6pm Boombox – DJ Ciaran Boylan and Host Sassie Longshaft, 10pm – 3am Sunf lower – Boxing Hare Wood Fired Pizza 5pm – 11pm in the Sunf lower Garden, Appalachian Session 8pm Central Bar (Strabane) – Saturday Beats with DJ Ricardo

Sunday

Kremlin – Industry 10pm, Admission free Union Street – The Sunday Bingo Show 8.30pm Maverick – The R&R with Rusty and Roxy 5pm Boombox – Full Circle, Upfront House with DJ Stuar t Millar and Host Sasie Longshaft Sunf lower – Traditional Session 7pm, Sunday Gramophone Club from 8pm Central Bar (Strabane) – Sundays at The Central The Pipeworks Gay Men’s Leisure Complex – Hard Up Sundays, free buffet & concessions & under 26 years old

Regular Nights

Rewind @ Kremlin – First Friday of every month Bubu @ The Shoe Factory - First Friday of every month (men only) MOTN @ Queens Cafe Bar – Last Friday of

every month (men only) The White Mansions @ The Sunf lower First Friday of every month Pub Quiz @ The Sunf lower – First Tuesday of every month Duke Special’s Gramophone Club @ Sunf lower – Last Friday of every month Passion @ Bellinis (Newry) - First Saturday of every month Hotel Motel Residency @ Boombox – Last

Friday of every month Room Ser vice @ Boombox – Bi-monthly The Pipeworks Gay Men’s Leisure Complex – First Friday of every month – Bubu Afterpar ty

Specials

Friday 17th April - Kremlin - UV Par ty Saturday 18th April - Kremlin - the Off icial Clublands Tour featuring N-Trance & Flip ‘n’ Fill

BELFAST

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Fly

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St re

re St all

Un io

St re Hi gh

Royal Avenue

Westlink A12

Castle Street

re St

Bridge End

Victoria Street

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W ar

ing

St re

B126

Middlepath Street

Chichester Street

C G

A20 Alber tbridge Road

F 7

Cromac Street

Great Victoria Street

May Street

VENUES 1 - Union Street Bar 2 - Kremlin 3 - Maverick 4 - Sunflower Bar 5 - Kellys Cellars 6 - Queens Cafe Bar 7 - Laverys 8 - El Divino 9 - Boombox 10 - The Pipeworks 11 - Whites Tavern LANDMARKS A - Grand Opera House B - The MAC C - City Hall D - The Fish E - Odyssey F - Ulster Hall G - The Waterfront H - The Cour ts