CHRISTMAS ON YOUR OWN

By Joe Nellist

It’s fair to say that Christmas this year will be quite unlike any other we’ve had before. For those who are fortunate, Christmas Day will be a chance to come together with families or chosen families who have been sorely missed throughout the year. However, for millions of people across the country this year this may no longer be possible, and many are facing the prospect of spending the holidays away from those they hold dearest.

For many LGBT people, Christmas and its associations are a much less positive time of year. We’ve previously produced an LGBT guide to surviving the holiday if you’re spending it with unsupportive family. If this applies to you, check out this guide. This year, we’re offering some tips and advice on how to make the most of the holiday if you’re spending it alone. The most important thing to remember is that even no one else is around, you are never alone. There is an entire community of people who care about you and who love. We're still here if you need us, and we will continue to be here over the festive season.

Start by thinking about how you want to spend the day. Are you hoping for a festive bonanza for one, or are you hoping to avoid anything remotely Christmassy? It’s fine if you feel like you want to bury your head in the sand and wake up after New Year’s. However, you decide to spend the day, make sure it’s what you want to do, not what you think you should do.

This day is all about you! What does Christmas mean to you? If you want to dress the house up like Santa’s grotto – go for it! If you want to buy yourself some presents then do it, you’ve earned it! Are you obsessed with Mariah Carey, get that song on repeat! If you’re not a particularly festive person, that’s fine. This year is the year you can finally escape the tinsel!

Some people have said it’s important to have a plan for your day. You might not need a 16-page agenda, but it could help to have a rough idea about how you’re planning to spend the day. What time are you hoping to wake up? How do plan to spend the morning? Will you be watching anything on tv? Having a loose structure to the day can help to reduce any anxieties you might have.

Simple answer – whatever you want! Fancy a traditional Christmas dinner, go ahead, and make one. Partial to a pizza? Who’s to stop you having two? This is your day, and you can shape it however you like, free from any food-related judgement.

Never underestimate the importance of self-care. Treat yourself to a special bath, or a long hot shower in the morning. It can really help to relax you and uplift your spirits. Why not indulge in a decadent bath bomb or some fancy new toiletries? Go on, you’re worth it!

Fresh air and movement are a great way to reduce stress and improve your wellbeing. Why not head out for a nice walk in the countryside, or around the local park a few times? A quick ‘hello’ and a smile to passers-by could help to reduce feelings of loneliness, you might even get to meet a four-legged friend!

Think about ways to keep yourself busy It’s a good idea to have some things planned for your day. It could be getting lost a great book (we heard Michael Cashman’s autobiography is a page turner) or delving into a new boxset. Keeping busy is a good way to keep yourself distracted if you're worried about the day. However, you want to spend your time, make it something special for you.

It’s important that you communicate with others. It can be difficult to reach out to

others but planning a quick call or video chat with friends or loved ones during the can be a great way to keep connected. If you have some presents to open, why not arrange to do it over Zoom with someone else?

Be honest with yourself, and with others If you’re feeling particularly low, then that’s OK. Be honest with how you feel, and if you’re able to, speak about how you’re feeling with someone you love. If you don’t feel able to open up to someone close to you, call our helpline on 0345 3 30 30 30. We’ve also listed some additional places for support below.

Keep an eye on your substance use For some people, feelings of loneliness can be a trigger for using substances. If you've experienced any substance misuse issues in the past it might be good to think about coping strategies that have worked before for avoiding any triggers. Is there someone you can call if the urge to use is strong? If not, call our helpline and one of our team would be happy to help talk it through with you.

It’s OK to feel scared about the prospect of spending Christmas alone, particularly if this is your first time. Remember, it’s just one day. You can get through this. However, you’re feeling right now, this won’t last forever. Things will get better.