PAUL

HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS

THE FESTIVE SEASON CAN BE A TIME OF JOY, CONNECTION, AND CELEBRATION.

Please note, this column is the opinion of the columinst and not that of GNI or Romeo & Julian Publiccations Ltd.

For many, Christmas conjures images of cozy family gatherings, laughter around the dinner table, and exchanging thoughtful gifts under the twinkling lights of a tree. But for queer individuals, the holidays can often bring a bittersweet mix of emotions, ranging from longing and isolation to deep gratitude for chosen family and community.

While mainstream media romanticizes the idea of a “perfect Christmas,” the reality for many LGBTQIA+ people is far more complex. Family gatherings that should feel warm and inclusive can instead be fraught with tension or even outright rejection. For some, returning home means facing relatives who dismiss or invalidate their identity. Others may find themselves entirely cut off from their biological families due to coming out or deciding it’s safer to stay silent.

For many queer people, Christmas can highlight a painful sense of not belonging. While the rest of the world seems to celebrate unity and togetherness, these feelings can be especially acute for those estranged from their families. Even for those who maintain ties with their families, the holidays may involve uncomfortable compromises. From avoiding discussions about partners to enduring misgendering or homophobic remarks, queer individuals often find themselves navigating these moments with a mix of resilience and exhaustion. The pressure to conform to traditional family expectations can feel isolating, amplifying feelings of loneliness during what’s supposed to be “the most wonderful time of the year.”

For those without family support, the holidays can become a stark reminder of loss and disconnection. Statistics reveal that LGBTQIA+ youth and adults are significantly more likely to experience loneliness, depression, and anxiety during the festive period. The season’s emphasis on family can leave queer individuals feeling like outsiders, as though they don’t fit into the cultural narrative of Christmas.

However, it’s crucial to acknowledge that this isolation doesn’t mean queer people are without community. One of the most profound aspects of queer culture is the concept of chosen family. These are the people who love, celebrate, and support you unconditionally; the ones who see you for who you truly are. While chosen families are not exclusive to queer individuals, they often hold particular significance in LGBTQIA+ communities, where biological family ties may be strained or nonexistent.

Queer people are masters of reinvention, and the holidays offer an opportunity to craft celebrations that feel authentic and empowering. Whether it’s a cozy movie marathon with a partner, or a night of dancing to Mariah Carey with your queer family, these moments remind us that love and connection don’t have to look a certain way.

If you’re navigating the holidays as a queer individual, consider these ideas to make the season feel more joyful and less isolating:

1. Host a Chosen Family Gathering

Bring together your closest friends or community members for a holiday celebration. Whether it’s an elaborate dinner or a casual get-together, the focus should be on creating a space where everyone feels seen and loved.

2. Set Boundaries with Biological Family

If you’re spending time with relatives, it’s okay to set clear boundaries. Protect your emotional well-being by avoiding topics or situations that feel harmful. Remember, you don’t owe anyone an explanation for being yourself.

3. Volunteer or Give Back

Sometimes, helping others can be a source of healing. Consider volunteering at a local charity. It’s a powerful way to connect with the community and make a difference.

4. Practice Self-Care

The holidays can be overwhelming, so prioritise activities that nurture your mind and body. Whether it’s a long walk, journaling, or treating yourself to something special, make time for what brings you peace.

5. Connect Online

If you’re physically isolated, virtual spaces can offer comfort and camaraderie. Join LGBTQIA+ forums, attend online holiday events, or simply reach out to friends via video call.

Christmas is a time of light in the darkness, and for queer individuals, it can also be a season of profound resilience. While the holidays may highlight the complexities of family and belonging, they also serve as a reminder of the strength found in community and the beauty of chosen family. No matter your circumstances, know that you’re not alone.

So, this Christmas, whether you’re sipping mulled wine with your queer kin or finding joy in quiet moments of self-care, let it be a time to honour yourself and the incredible journey you’re on.

After all, love is what the season is truly about.

Paul McAllister- Soul Script

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