FEELING THE PRESSURE

I feel like Winter has lasted at least 6 months at this point. I am really over the cold and wet weather; I find myself dreaming of hotter climates and somewhere tropical around this time of year and I’ve got no trips away planned which is torture. That’s going on the to do list as soon as I can fit it in.

So… what have I been up to the past few months and what’s on the upcoming cards, read on and find out.

I’ve found myself on a journey in trying to better myself these past few years, especially since the pandemic. Maybe it’s because I’m getting (dare I say it) older? GULP! I really don’t like that word older, it gives frail “past it” vibes to me and that’s not what I’m about at all. So I’m going to use the word mature, even though that makes me think of cheese, but at least I like cheese. Anyway…Yes, I’ve definitely matured a lot.

I find juggling everything in my life very tough sometimes, I know I set really high goals for myself. I want to do so much, and feel that I am capable of a lot, but I get crippled sometimes with anxiety and stress and end up not achieving my full potential, and then I tend to be hard on myself until I can refocus and set new goals.

As a child I was very driven to achieve everything, I had laser focus, and nothing would stand in my way. But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve lost a lot of that focus, I’ve been too caught up with the noise and rat race of modern life.

As mentioned, I’ve been looking inwards and really dissecting my behaviours to try to and gain some maturity and focus and I’m finally ready to address something that used to be fun for me but has not been fun in a long time and that’s my relationship with alcohol.

I’m not going to go in depth here, but if I’m honest with myself I would drink as a way to manage stress, pain and past trauma in my life. I wasn’t always drinking to be social, but I found it was a way for me to cope.

I’m ready to hold myself accountable and do the work to be a better version of myself. This is scary for me to write, but I know a lot of people out there might be feeling the same way as I do but haven’t reached a point where they need/want to do something about it.

I have a lot going for me and so much coming up this year and I don’t want anything getting in my way. I need to have a clear head to achieve what I want and stop using crutches to stumble through life. I’m worth more than that.

So for now, whilst I try and work through issues and how I deal with stress in my life, I’m giving alcohol a HARD PASS.

As of writing this article I’m 60 days drink free and feel fabulous. All aspects of my life are getting better, physically and mentally I feel great. This winter has been tough but I have a feeling that good times are coming, I have some cool gigs coming up for Tailor.

I’m off to a Cosmetics convention in Italy in March for 5 days and I’m hosting BPerfect’s stand in Drag. I’m back working with Klub Kids on a few Drag Fest Shows this year, the first being Drag Fest Ireland in May, I will be in Manchester again, and back in Dublin before the Summer, so she’s a busy a gal! I do also have some other projects I’m working away on but just not ready to share at the minute.

WE FINALLY we have a launch date for our wee BBC THREE show that myself and the BPerfect crew worked on for most of 2022. Made Up In Belfast will be launching in April (around Easter) on BBC THREE/ BBC IPLAYER and BBC ONE NI. It’s 10 episodes, and about the lives of the crazy characters that work for Ireland’s Biggest Indie makeup brand and I will be featured as both James and Tailor. I can’t wait to share it with you all.

Thanks for reading.