OUR GAY GODESSES

Martin Kearney

I recently seen a tweet from a comedienne posted on a LGBTQI+ community page. @calebsaysthings

When gay boys turn 13 years old the universe assigns them one woman working in entertainment. from that point forward their purpose on earth becomes supporting this woman so hard that the force of their love for her could literally kill them.

4:19 AM • Apr 7, 2022

As queer people we usually have a few idols that we look up to. You may be a “Swifty” and adore Taylor Swift or Maybe Lady Gaga is more your vibe and you’re her biggest “little monster”.

I myself have had more than one in my 42 years on this planet. My earliest recollection is as a toddler. My first Goddess being the Princess of power herself She-Ra I adored Adora, Prince Adam’s twin sister, much more than I should as little boys should prefer, He Man… but not me. I pulled my vest down, belted it with one of my mummy’s’ gold belts and pulled up my socks to make them feel more like a knee-high boot. I ran around the house with my She- Ra action figure (NOT A DOLL!) in hand shouting at the top of my lungs “FOR THE HONOUR OF GRAYSKULL I AM SHE-RA”. Why am I telling you this? I’m trying to paint a picture of how, from a young age, I lived and breathed my Goddess. I became a bit of a polygamist when it came to collecting Goddesses from the entertainment industry. One is Sarah Jessica Parker. I’m singling her out from the many I have, fictional and real (Wonder Woman, Supergirl, Jet from Gladiators, Rogue from X-Men, Kimberly the pink Power Ranger, Xena and Gabriel, the girls from friends, Buffy, Ally McBeal, all of the Desperate Housewives, Ugly Betty, Meredith Grey, her sisters Lexi and Amelia Shephard, along with following the works of Michelle Williams, Neve Campbell, Hayden Panettiere, Emily Blunt, Anne Hathaway and Taraji B Henson to name just a) because I would say she has been the most consistent presence out of all off these celestial beings.

The story goes … its 1993, the internet isn’t on Belfast’s radar, yet I’ve just turned 11 and we a working-class family get Sky TV installed. By chance I come across a film called ‘Girls just want to have fun’. I watched in awe. No spoilers, but in the first scene SJP is the new girl at school, and she is telling the class about herself. In that second, as the screen closes in on her face, I was obsessed. Now like I said it was the dark ages so it’s not like I could go IMDB and see a list of credits. So, if I Wanted to see more of this glorious woman’s work, I must scale the local Extra-Vision (Video Shop) and check all the cases for her name or image. Nothing. Not a single movie. It wasn’t until I’d seen the top 10 films in the US (a segment between adverts) that I was able to compile a list for future rentals, such as Hocus Pocus, Striking Distance and Ed Wood. Soon more pieces would fit together. My Mummy and Aunt Carol recalled a TV show she was in called ‘A year in the life’. Anyway, you get the picture. To see her in something was largely by luck or coincidence. Even little articles from magazines would be cut out and saved in a little scrap book and I’d be lucky if this happened once a year. It’s not like she was Pamela Anderson or Sharon Stone (who I love by the way). She was however in a movie called ‘Miami Rhapsody’ that was shown on a flight home from Orlando to Belfast, but as a kid it went right over my head but the memory sticks out and that was from a holiday

30 years ago. Then, a few years later, a little show called ‘Sex and the City’ happened, and she soon became a household name. She launched a business that now encompasses perfume, clothing, shoes and a wine empire along with a few not so well critically received movies to boot. She even owns a family home in Donegal and stayed in the Europa hotel once or twice. My friend once saw her get out of an elevator. (I’ve one better, just wait for it.) My obscure actress, who no- one had heard of was being named one of the most influential people in the world. Now try to understand, you can see Beyonce and the likes in concert. You may not be able to get a ticket, but at least there is a better chance of seeing your hero in real life. I never dreamed I’d see Sarah in the flesh. I would, and still do, make “jokes” (some would call threats), about finding her and her house in Donegal. So, when news came, she was coming to the West End you best believe it I was first in a digital line getting tickets. Months passed. The show night finally came. My plan was to watch the show and then go to the stage door to catch a glimpse of this magical being. During one point in the play, she makes a paper airplane and as she threw it at her co-star (and real-life husband Matthew Broderick) it glided to the edge of the stage. When the curtain fell for the intermission, my boyfriend pointed it out. He had to yank my arm back from me trying to do a Hunger Games style dash to the stage to retrieve it. He explained it may be a prop. “No no no! Its past the curtain its mine!”.

I graciously and patiently waited (yea right!) while the usher radioed through to the stage manager to see if it was ok for some psycho (Me) to grab the paper flying machine. I got the go ahead. I ran my hand along the stage (I’ve shared the stage with Sarah Jessica parker is how this will be told to my grandkids), reached up and grabbed my prize like I’d just won a golden goose. I was, as my partner explains, GLOWING. As we left, the alleyway to the stage door was crowded and rammed. I was more than happy to just leave. I had, in my opinion, something much better. I had arts and crafts made by a living legend. My Goddess… Sarah Jessica Parker. What are the chances? It gives a finishing touch to my shrine of her in my living room (No, I’m not kidding). I told you I live and breathe my Goddess.

P.S I even have a She-Ra tattoo.

Please note, this column is the opinion of the columinst and not that of GNI or Romeo & Julian Publiccations Ltd.