GNI Mag Issue 15 by GNI MAG

THE AWARD WINNING LOCAL GAY MAG AVAILABLE IN PRINT IN NI & ROI AND ONLINE Around THE WORLD

GNI your local gay mag Issue 15 | Feb/Mar 15 | £2.95 / €3.95

Gay Athlete

bobsleigh simon

online

dating tips, stories & advice

RHODA’S

COMING OUT

STORY

JOHN Partridge Eastenders. Music. Stage

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CONTENTS 10

Roundup

Kitsch bitch

Bobsleigh simon

John Partridge

Living with Tourettes

Cereal Killers

Mystery shopper

Fashion shoots

Online dating

Our big day

Tom Talks

An Open letter

seriously tho

coming out

Together for you

who are ya?

A V Perry

Test drive

Property

Bliains world

Conleth recommends

Jordan and diona

top ten

whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s THE CRAIC

From the editor’s desk. Christmas is like a dir ty word in our office. The curse that was Christmas gave us all an excuse to go out and be merry for a couple of weeks (in fact we dragged it out to nearly three). BANG, back to reality and we have about four weeks to get this issue put together. Fear not chums, we’ve not scrimped on quality of content. Our last issue has proved to be our most successful yet. Our stats and feedback tell us that it’s been our most read online so far, with more of you spending longer reading the ar ticles and features. And our hard copy, with its new size has been praised the length and breadth of our country. Anyhows, onwards... This issue we caught up with Bobsleigh Simon. If you’re anything like us in the office you’ll have been perving all over his Instagram for ages now. He tells us about being an openly gay athlete in the Australian bobsleigh team (he also mentions that he’s single btw). John Par tridge talks about life after Eastenders and his new album. We have a massive section all about online dating, and the ups and downs that come with it. Fashion is increased in this issue too with two separate shoots to ogle over. All your favourites are back too; Conleth sticks his oar in and tells us what’s good to see, listen to and watch; Alicia talks us through what’s been going on with her; Bliain reminisces about growing up pink or blue; and Jordan and Diona fill us in on their latest project. Enjoy. Tony

GNI is produced by Lamb Promotions Ltd. . 145 Holywood Road, Belfast, BT4 3BE . 028 9065 4314 . sales@lambpromotions.com Inhouse team: Editor: Tony Day . Sub-Editor/Writer: Beth Evans . Accounts: Fred Scott

All submissions to GNI are made on the basis of permission to publish the submission in GNI and its licensed editions worldwide. In the case of a picture selection, the editor’s decision is final. Any material sent is at the owner’s risk and although every care is taken neither Lamb Promotions or its agents shall be liable for loss or damage. We take great care to make sure all elements of GNI are accurate. However we accept no liabilty for any misprints that appear in this magazine. You should seek professional advice prior to following any advice offered in this publication. Lamb Promotions Ltd 2015

page 8 | gnimag.com

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Roundup In October 2013, the Australian Capital Territory parliament passed a bill that made the territory the first area of Australia to allow same-sex marriage. In Canberra, 31 same-sex couples were married over a five-day period (between 7th – 12th December 2013), once the law came into effect. However, the law was over turned by Australia’s High Cour t after the national government challenged the decision. This meant that all 31 marriages were revoked. One year later, the world helped the couples to celebrate their one-year anniversaries using the hashtag #5DaysofEquality on social media to send them messages of love and suppor t. The Shunkoin Temple in Kyoto has become the first Zen-Buddhist temple in Japan to officially offer marriages for same-sex couples. The temple welcomes every couple, regardless of religion or sexual orientation. Takafumi Kawakami, a priest at the temple said, “It’s not like we have to keep tradition the way it is […] we welcome every couple regardless of their faith or sexual orientation.” As Japan does not legally recognise same-sex marriage, the ceremonies only hold symbolic meaning. According to the Pew Research Center survey, 54% of Japanese people suppor t LGBT rights, while only 36% remain opposed. Scotland’s same-sex marriage law officially came into effect during December 2014. As well as allowing same-sex couples to marry, the law also meant that existing civil par tnerships could be conver ted into marriages. Father Mar tin Dolan came out as gay during mass and received a standing ovation from his congregation. During the service, Father Dolan urged parishioners to vote in suppor t of Ireland’s upcoming same-sex marriage referendum. Father Dolan has been a priest at the Church of St Nicholas of Myra in Dublin for 15 years, and his decision to come out in front of worshippers has been praised by various gay equality groups in Ireland. Speaking on RTÉ Radio 1, Leo Varadkar became the first member of Ireland’s government to come out as gay. During the broadcast, Varadker stated, “I am a gay man. It’s not a secret.” Speaking afterwards, the Health Minister said, “I am still the same person. To me it is not a big deal; I hope it is not a big deal for people. There are people a lot braver than me, but I wanted to do it. I suppose I felt, as a public figure, I should say it. I want the next generation to feel that they don’t have to do an interview like this.” Politicians in Chile gave the final approval to a bill recognising civil unions between same-sex couples. The bill was passed by 86 legislators in the Chamber of Deputies, while 23 voted against, and 2 abstained. The bill will be passed on to President Michelle Bachelet, who is expected to sign it. In a rally organised by The Rainbow Project, over 1,000 people took to the streets of Belfast city centre on Saturday 31st January 2015 to protest against the DUP’s conscience clause bill. The private member’s bill, which was proposed by Paul Given, states that business owners can refuse service to a customer if it goes against their religious beliefs. The bill has been labelled discriminatory by various gay rights groups, as well as Amnesty International. Similar demonstrations took place in Derry and Newry.

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h c s t i K The Bitch y ‘big for m t… Do e f li ll my o me ye es up , t ing a m i tsch Hi K en wai t ’t come ick sche e n u s b q a ich I’ve it h get r ’ but idea ave any leeves? s h lous you fabu clare r ghly u yo h rou ying B ally ic , h y w r B ar lare, I’m sa ick B allyc e cow”, u m o h the ich q r t f rr y n of eral get r l! Hence a w B i o t H “ v a e s g s e e le ve la t trans !! I do ha f them ar unt!! a o in y h e t n n o no go bu t n kin a ideas I’m a fec n reaso

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SI MO N

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You might recognise this handsome fellow from the hours and hours you’ve spent Instastalking him. ‘Bobsleigh Simon’, aka. Simon Dunn, is the brakeman for Australia’s bobsleigh team and also played on Australia’s first gay Rugby Union club, The Sydney Convicts. GNI had a chat with Simon (jealous???), and found out that he is single (WHAT???) and living in Calgary, training very hard in the run up to the 2018 Winter Olympics in South Korea. *googles flights to Calgary* Apart from being sports, what do bobsleigh and rugby have in common? Technically, not much. Rugby is an easy crossover spor t to bobsleigh because the main idea is to run straight, hard and fast! How did you get into bobsleigh? Was it a quirk of fate or was it something you always thought of doing? I would have to go with “quirk of fate”. I’ve always trained for rugby and prior

to moving to Canada I hadn’t even considered bobsleigh as an option. The rest is history now!

be honest I would rather train more but working full time makes it difficult.

What was being a member of the Sydney gay rugby team like? Playing for the Sydney Convicts has been one of the best choices and experiences of my life. I certainly owe that decision to where I am today!

Many of our readers will be hoping you are single… are you? I sure am!

Do you think there is still a big problem with homophobia in sport? If so, how do you think we can combat it? It cer tainly is an issue and sadly more so in Australia than Canada. I think that as we have more out LGBT athletes par ticipating and in the public eye, this will change. Now, obviously you’re extremely fit (Instagram: @bobsleighsimon). How much training do you do to keep in shape? A lot. My training week includes gym, sprint, push training and sliding. And to

You’re singlehandedly popularising the sport of bobsleigh. Well Done. Apart from watching you in action, how can people follow the sport? The best way would be via the federation’s website: www.fibt.com. Alternatively, getting involved with your local organization would be a great way. Try Irish Bob & Skeleton: www.irishbobsleighskeleton.com.

You are the brakeman… What does that involve? Apar t from the obvious braking, a brakemen is pretty much the “workhorse” of the team. It’s my job to get the sled off the line and moving as fast as possible.

“Always remember, your bones will not break in a bobsled. No, no, no. They shatter.” – Irv, ‘Cool Runnings’. Would you go along with this statement? Like most spor ts it’s definitely a risk. I just picked the ones where it’s more likely to occur. Ooops!

What does it feel like to hurtle down an icy chute in a metal sled at speeds of around 80mph? It must be thrilling… The fear has cer tainly gone. As a brakemen I spend the entire time staring at the bottom of the sled but you can feel when it’s a good run so the excitement levels go up!

Have you ever crashed during a run? They say you’re not a bobsledder until you crash, go back to the top and do it all over again. I’ve definitely done that a few times.

Was ‘coming out’ a big deal to you? I prefer to think of it as I came out as a bobsledder. I “came out” as gay when I was 16. How does it feel to be representing your country? Would you describe yourself as patriotic? I love Australia. So for me

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it’s all about making my family, friends and country proud. The hardest par t about bobsleigh is that it requires me to be away.

You have moved to Calgary, Alberta, in order to get the most out of training. How does Calgary compare to your hometown? My hometown and Calgary are complete opposites. I grew up in a small beach town and now live in the mountains. I miss the beach every day! What do you like doing most in your spare time? Spare time is rare. Rugby fills in the time I’m not training or competing. Finally, can you give us some top bobsleigh tips, in case we ever decide to give it a go? Train, train, train, and continue to train!

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BS MO

What would it mean to you to participate in the 2018 Winter Olympics in South Korea? Words can honestly not sum up what it would mean to compete at the highest level for my spor t. Hopefully with hard work, dreams will come true!

Tell us about your GoFundMe project… Did we hear something about a signed photograph??? Australian bobsleigh athletes are fully self-funded so I created the GoFundMe in order to help with the cost associated with training and competing. And every donation over $50 receives a signed photo. Alternatively any sponsorship enquires can be sent to bobsleighsimon@gmail. com.

You’re basically superhuman already, but if you could have one superpower, what would it be and why? I would love to be able to fly. Airline tickets back to Australia to see family and friends are expensive!

How do you feel about being practically everyone’s unobtainable mancrush? I definitely wouldn’t call myself ‘unobtainable’!

Name: Simon Dunn Nickname: Amy (Cour tesy of the Sydney Convicts) DOB: 27/07/1987 Birthplace: Goulburn, Australia Favourite Food: Steak Favourite Drink: Beer Favourite Season: Summer. Although it’s been a few years since I’ve seen one! Favourite Book: Any spor ting autobiographies Favourite TV Show: American Horror Story Favourite Film: Lion King Favourite Social Media Channel: Instagram (obviously) Favourite Pose: Underwear selfies! Favourite Person: I can’t go past my niece and 4 nephews! Catchphrase: “Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” – Theodore Roosevelt

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JOHN Partridge

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Johnny Partridge, aka Christian Clarke, returns to the Square this month for EastEnders’ 30th anniversary. We can confirm that he is, in fact, a genuine, warm-hearted, extremely talented chap (which comes as no big surprise). GNI spoke to him about coming out; life on The Square; his debut album; his lovely hubby John; his most memorable one-night stand; and dancing around the living room pretending to be Kate Bush… Many people will know you as Christian from EastEnders, but how did your career in showbiz begin? I started at the Royal Ballet and moved over to musical theatre. As a classical ballet dancer you’re acting in a different way – acting with your body, through dance. I’ve always considered myself to be an actor; there are many different ways to express that. Did you watch EastEnders before you were a part of it? If so, what is your favourite ever EastEnders storyline? I watched the show when it first started. We were always banished to the front room when we wanted to watch something Dad didn’t want to watch. I remember going in there with my Mum and sister to watch the Sunday omnibus. As a musical theatre actor, you’re out of the house from about 6pm -12pm, so you don’t really get the chance to watch TV. Having said that, I sometimes can’t help coming home and watching Prisoner Cell Block H at 2 o’clock in the morning. Your character Christian’s relationship with Syed attracted a lot of media attention. Do you think it was groundbreaking simply because it highlighted the ‘ordinariness’ of a same-sex relationship (in that same-sex relationships can experience all the same problems as heterosexual relationships)? I’m proud of that storyline, of course I am. I think we managed to chip away some form of taboo. It’s so hard to tell a story like that at 7.30 in the evening on a mainstream show. It was about what you didn’t see as much as what you did see. It wasn’t about sexuality or religion; it was more about people falling in love. Have you kept in touch with your co-stars? Of course I’m still in touch with them. You can’t work so intensively without making friends offscreen. Myself and Laurie, who plays my onscreen

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sister, Jane, are like family now. It’s funny – she has the same bir thday as my real life sister. They are very similar in many ways! What is the Queen Vic like in real life? It’s always the most daunting set when you’re new. There’s always drama happening in The Vic. Someone’s always going to get a punch in the face or a drink thrown over them. Scenes in The Vic are always great. Christian is returning to the Square for his sister’s wedding marking the show’s 30-year anniversary. Can you tell us anything about that? Do you know who killed Lucy? It’s so exciting to go back. It’s all systems go there, but don’t ask me who killed Lucy Beale, because I honestly don’t know! All the scenes are highly censored… it’s a cloak and dagger job, quite literally. The show did so well at the NTAs this year, and I think that has a lot to do with Dominic Treadwell-Collins, who is the executive producer. When I was there he was a story producer, and he created my character. Since I left he has become the executive producer and he is a credit to the show; it’s thanks to him everybody is watching and talking about it at the minute. You’re often described as a positive gay role model. Do you think we need more positive and visible LGBT role models? Of course, but more than that I think it’s important to have compassionate role models. I’m just doing what I do and I make as many mistakes as we all make. We’re all on our own paths. If I can help people using the small profile I have, that’s fantastic. I get a lot of coming out stories and the like, which is brilliant. In reality, it’s quite a heavy title to carry around with you – I’m hustling like all of us! All we can do is try and treat each other with respect, compassion, and humanity. Did you ever struggle with coming to terms with your sexuality? Honestly, no. When I hear some people’s stories now, about struggling to come because of unsuppor tive families, I always find it quite difficult because my family were only ever completely and utterly suppor tive. It was unconditional in my house, as it has continued to be. I came out to my parents at a very young age, without really understanding what I was telling them. It went something like this, “I like boys, is that OK?” “Yes.” It was that simple - very matter of fact. They kind of knew anyway, so it

was a normal conversation; no crying, no drama. I never felt that I had to keep anything a secret from my family, much to my dismay! I was always open and honest from the word go. In some ways it was kind of the perfect coming out, and I’m so grateful. You released your debut album, ‘Dames, Dudes + Cowboys Too’ towards the end of 2014. What motivated you to record your own album? My mum was diagnosed with alzheimers and dementia, and that was par t of my reason for leaving EastEnders in 2011. I did a one-man show called Dames and Dudes in the Hippodrome in 2013. It was a show for me – I wasn’t sure anyone would come. I had been in this game for 30 years, and I wanted to assemble all the things I’d learned along the way. My audience is really eclectic – some might know me from musical theatre, some might know me from EastEnders, and some might know me from calling out the lottery numbers on a Saturday night. Contrary to what a lot of people think, I don’t dance around my living room to Elaine Page (although I do think she’s great). The show surprised a lot of people – most people don’t know that I sing. When you pop into people’s consciousness via a huge TV show, people assume you started out then and there. Obviously, I had a long, long career before I started wearing a vest on Albert Square, so it surprises me that people are surprised when I star t to sing! The one-man show went really well. I’ve been asked to do lots of albums in the past, on other people’s terms, but this record was an extension of my one-man show. Music is very powerful for people with dementia. When I put on an old record that my mum knows, boom, she knows all the words. It’s very powerful. The album is really for my mum as well, because she loves to hear me sing. When she hears me sing it takes me back to the time when I was a little boy dancing around the living room with a tea towel on my head pretending to be Kate Bush. The song, ‘Stop for a Minute’ is for her. A lot of that album was very cathar tic. As her situation improved, I got some self-belief back. It’s so easy to be inspired by other people, but it’s a much bigger thing to self-inspire. In doing the record I did find my mojo again and I thank my mum for than You appeared on Tumble last year… Have you kept up the gymnastics? Haha, what do you think? It nearly

killed me! It was the most physically demanding thing I’ve ever done. I’m 43 and to be throwing yourself at a really hard object is a feat. I did enjoy the physical training, as I come from a physical discipline. But it was brutal. I dropped 18kilos doing that, which I was grateful for, and I maintained that change in shape. The training I enjoyed, but the competitive side of things, not so much. You got married to your husband in 2011. What kind of ceremony did you have? It was the most amazing day of my life, hands down. It was beautiful. It was a surprise to me on many levels – I didn’t think I would become that emotional about it. My husband, John, is Canadian, and all his family came over from Canada. All my family were there as well. In total, there were about 300 people at the wedding. It truly was the most life-affirming, beautiful day. It’s a day that I treasure and I will remember all of my days. It was in Greenwich, where we live. It took place on the last weekend in September 2011, and it was a freakish 32 degrees, which isn’t great when you’re wearing a three-piece suit! The celebrations went on for two days, to the point where we were being kicked out of the hotel! It was carnage, but an amazing day.

Do you think online dating takes away from the romance and spontaneity of a first meeting? No, because even if you meet someone across the room, the next time you meet them, you still have that feeling. Meeting someone in person is still going to give you the wobbles. What does 2015 hold for you? At the beginning of the year, I’m back on The Square. To go back there and be part of the 30th anniversary is a really nice way for me to star t the year. I star t recording my new album in April, and I’ll be touring for much of next year with my own show. What is your life motto? Be the best you can be at all times. In my game, it’s always about someone else’s perception of you. Being an actor is about waiting for the phone to ring. Your whole worth is wrapped up in a telephone call – a simple yes or no. You don’t have to be the best actor, the best singer, or the best looking, all you can be is the best at that particular time, on that day, in that moment. I strive to be the best friend and lover, and the best I can possibly be in my professional life and in my home life. I always show up put the hours in.

How did you meet your husband? I met him at a party in Cologne. I was working in Dusseldorf and John was working in Cologne. We had a one-night stand and afterwards someone told me he was 21. I said, “that’s never going to happen again! Omg, when did I wake up and suddenly become Daddyo… I’m 32! I’m gross, I’m a sugar daddy!” I lasted four days and then couldn’t go and longer. We’ve been together ever since, and we haven’t spent any time away from each other. That was 13 years ago! You can find love in a one-night stand at a crazy party, and it can work out... you can meet anyone, anytime, any place and if it’s right it’s right. We are doing a feature on online dating in this issue… Have you had any experiences using dating apps, or is that something you’ve stayed away from? I’m not a Grindr fan, and I never have done it. I was in a relationship since before the explosion of the online dating scene. Would I? Of course. Have I? No. Like I say, you can find love any place. If it’s online, go find it!

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living with

TOURETTES Damian Friel Curran developed a Tourette-like syndrome in November 2013, at the age of 21. The sudden onset of the disorder changed his life dramatically; he found daily interactions almost impossible and cut himself off from the outside world as much as he could. Since then, however, Damian has learned to cope with his symptoms, and has moved to Brighton where he is now studying for his degree. At the end of last year, Damian courageously spoke out about his condition, and after meeting other ambitious Tourette’s sufferers, he is determined to let nothing get in his way. We spoke to the charming Derry man to f ind out more… You developed a Tourette-like Syndrome in adulthood. How rare is that? It’s almost unheard of… only two other people I’ve spoken with in the UK developed tics in adulthood. There are probably more out there, but not many. page 24 | gnimag.com

Can you tell us about the day the tics started? I was in hospital getting treatment for depression, in the psychiatric unit. I received a phone call from a friend and just star ted to stammer and stutter. The nex t day I star ted to shake and tremor, then over the following nex t couple of days the tremors became like repeated movements and every time I would stammer and stutter I made a noise instead, which kind of progressed into involuntary swearing as well. It all star ted at the end of November, and it took about three or four months to develop into what it is today. Has your tic disorder limited you at all? At the star t it did a lot - I wouldn’t go out on my own, even to the local shop. I was avoiding people I’d known all my life because I didn’t want them to ask questions. I kind of put my whole future on hold because I thought I wouldn’t be able to do any jobs. I stopped driving as well because I f igured it would be too dangerous. Since then though,

I’ve completely changed my whole attitude. I’m living in Brighton doing my degree in mental health nursing and I’m planning to get driving again. I’ve been inspired by other people with Tourette’s who have been getting on with their lives and been working in really good jobs. Has your tic disorder affected your career aspirations, or moulded them? It has made me more determined to go ahead and do exactly what I’ve been planning to do for so long. Once you feel like you can’t do something it pushes you to f ight for it. It has been a struggle, and I still do struggle, but it will all be wor th it in the end I think. Does it ever get you into trouble? Yes… more often than not. People often say to me, “you must get away with saying any thing you want.” No, you don’t. Have you ever let something slip around a friend that you weren’t meant to say, or sworn in front of a small child? You feel really embarrassed.

That’s how it feels every day for me. I feel especially embarrassed when I swear around elderly people and children. People have confronted me and accused me of swearing at them. How do you deal with that? Normally I’d have a friend or family member with me if I were to go into town. I’ve kind of developed an ability to suppress it in cer tain situations, but that takes a lot of effor t. It gets very tiring – it’s like holding your breath. If I’m on a bus or an enclosed space I suppress it. Otherwise I have an escape plan in mind most of the time for when things go bad. If I’m having a par ticularly bad day I kind of retreat or go somewhere safe for a while. Last year you did a television programme with Stephen Nolan. How did that come about? I had a friend working in the media and he said that getting my story out there would make things a lot easier for me. He sent a message to a lot of news outlets, and the local paper got back to me and ran

it as a front page story. After that, Stephen Nolan’s researcher got in touch and organised a meeting to discuss what had been happening with me the past two years. What kind of feedback did you get after the programme aired? I got nothing but positive feedback. It was overwhelming. I was swamped with messages – I still have about 150 Facebook friend requests I need to reply to! When I was back home for Christmas I was approached by people in bars who said they were really inspired, that they were proud of me as a Derry person, and someone told me that I was a good ambassador for Derry. That was lovely to hear. I love Derry, and I’m very proud to be from there. There is a lot people still don’t understand about Tourette’s. What would you like people to know about Tourette’s and similar disorders? Many people assume that if you have Tourette’s you get away with a lot; you don’t. I mentioned on

The Nolan Show that most people assume that Tourette’s is to do with swearing. In truth, it’s only actually a small minority (around 10%) of people with Tourette’s that swear. Most people assume that if you’ve got Tourette’s you’re going to star t swearing, and sometimes they even sit there waiting for a punchline! On top of that, there are a lot of underlying conditions that come with Tourette’s – depression, anxiety, OCD, ADHD – and these other disorders or conditions are more often than not the bigger issue. What kinds of activities help to control your tics? Any activity that takes my whole focus. I love acting, and as soon as I get on the stage the tics completely disappear until I go backstage. That’s quite common with people with Tourette’s – when they enjoy an activity it kind of gives them a break. Brighton is famous for being a very accepting place. Is this the case in your opinion? Yes. The guy with Tourette’s that

was in Big Brother, Pete Bennett, is from Brighton, so people here are obviously familiar with it. Brighton is somewhere that you can be anyone and no one really cares, and you can do any thing and no one really cares. There’s a phrase people use: ‘Only in Brighton.’ When you f irst developed the tic disorder, did you seek help from any organisations/outside support? When I f irst star ted to develop it and I f irst caught on that it was tics, I contacted Tourette’s Action. They run a group every few months where people with Tourette’s and their relatives can meet up to discuss problems and get suppor t from each other. Just knowing that there are other people out there going through the same thing is very therapeutic. I would urge anyone that is going through this to contact Tourette’s Action. The suppor t they offered me was the best available. Knowing that there are other people going through the same thing stops you from feeling so alone.

Where do you draw support from now? I’ve learnt to manage it myself and I’ve developed coping strategies, but if I do have problems I have amazing friends and family. My family would do any thing for me and my best friend has moved over to Brighton. He’s a brilliant fella; I can rely on him for any thing. What are your hopes for the future? Well, I’ve just star ted my three-year degree. I am hoping to go on to do mental health nursing, and I want to broaden my horizons. At this point, I don’t know whether I’ll stay here after my degree or go back home. Home will always be home, you know? I def initely have plans to go back home at some point.

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GNIPD

S R E L L I EREAL K

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ALAN KEE

You’ve heard about their café, you’ve seen them on TV, and if you’re lucky you might even have tasted their chocolatey, breakfasty wares. We interviewed Alan Keery, one half of the Cereal Killer Café twins, to find out how things are going, and if they really are as hipster as people think.

tant do you think it is to reminisce on simpler times? Sometimes it’s nice to temporarily transpor t yourself back to a time when the biggest decision you had to make was which cereal you were going to eat, and which car toon you were going to watch. That’s what we are giving in the café; it’s

at the bottom of a bowl? Usually after the 3rd bowl.

more than a bowl of cereal, it’s reigniting a lot of people’s first love… the love of cereal.

is an amazing cereal.

What obscure cereals can be found at your café? We have a poppin’ candy cereal from America which may not be the best breakfast choice but it

When and how was your idea for Cereal Killer Café born? Tony the Tiger told me to do it in a dream. Where are you from? We are originally from the village but moved to Castlereagh when we star ted school. When did you move to London? We left Belfast about 8 years ago, but the accent is still there! We’ve been around England a bit but moved to London about three years ago and fell in love with it. What do you think of the new crisp sandwich café in Belfast? Do you think you have sparked a new wave of niche eateries? There have always been niche cafes: the cat café; vapor cigarette café; purified water café; and the nude café were all around before us. We are just adding to the already incredible offering. The crisp sandwich café sounds amazing and I can’t wait to go, the only thing better than a Tayto cheese and onion sandwich is a bowl of cereal, obviously. Would you describe yourselves as hipster? And have you experienced much ‘hipster hatred’ since you opened your café? Hipster is a funny term. The stereotype is vintage clothes, a moustache, and listening to The Spice Girls ironically. I don’t listen to The Spice Girls ironically, I genuinely like The Spice Girls. When it comes to hatred, you can’t please all the people all the time, and I’d rather cause a reaction in someone than people have no opinion. Have you had much support from elsewhere? We’ve had huge suppor t from people back home, we even had a couple of girls come in with a bag filled with Tayto cheese and onion, and potato and soda bread. We ate like kings that night. We get messages from all corners of the globe, and have had people fly in from Dubai, Ireland, and Texas just to come to the café! Your café brings people back to their childhood, when cereal was a morning time staple, and something to look forward to. Now most of us grab a coffee-to-go in lieu of a hearty bowl of Ready Brek. How impor-

How is the café doing? Amazing. We’re busy all the time, and it’s great speaking to customers and realising that there are other people that are as obsessed with cereal as we are! We haven’t had the chance to visit the café yet… What can we expect when we do? We’ve been described as the Netflix of cafés. We offer a lot of choice; 120 cereals with 40 milk options and 20 toppings, but we do have cereal exper ts working here to guide you through your choices. The café doubles as a cereal museum… we have vintage boxes/bike reflectors/skateboards/animation cells – basically anything cereal related. You’ll see stuff you remember and stuff you never knew existed… that along with the 90s music we jam into your earholes, it’s a real experience.

Out of all the cereals you stock, which is your favourite? At the moment I’m eating a lot of coco caramel shreddies with hot milk. Do you have plans to expand the business in the future? We are looking at expanding but we need to walk for a while before we can run. Hit us with your best cereal-related joke… Grape Nuts are a joke. Do you have any other ideas up your sleeves? Let’s just say we have some trix up there. Killer Question: Who would you want to play you in the movie? The twins from fun house, Melanie and Mar tina.

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TNT tried

Tested

Wow my 1st GNI tried and tested column! After travelling the world, experiencing many cultures and levels of customer service (the good, bad and the downright different!) I have been given the gruelling task of going on the hunt for the latest in products, services and experiences, and trying these out on your behalf, the gorgeous GNI readers. I can’t wait to give you my honest, unbiased opinions on whether to bother your lovely selves in buying, trying or experiencing the products and services covered in each issue! No lies, there have been laughs, tears, tantrums and some total disasters to date, that I can’t wait to share with you over the coming months! Play nice… I might even share the odd offer or bargain that I find along the way exclusively to you, the Loyal GNI readers!

Now let’s get stuck in… with a matter that affects not just you guys out there, but also the lovely ladies too……hair thinning!! Everybody’s worst nightmare! Nothing worse than that thin monk spot on the crown of a guy’s head or dull fine lifeless looking locks on a lady! Well praise be to the gods at L’oreal, who have been working hard over the past 10 years to be able to solve this nasty natural problem. They are so confident that they are also prepared to put their money where their mouth is! Readers I give you the L’oreal Serioxyl Range…. if these don’t solve that hair thinning problem you may shave your head, grab yourself an umbrella and call yourself Britney! L’Oréal Professionnel Serioxyl is the result of pioneering research, designed to fight hair thinning from the very first symptom. (Here comes the science….. yawn!) L’Oréals exper tise and advanced research on the biological mechanisms that govern the scalp and hair, means that Serioxyl is able to offer a unique, highly-concentrated yet affordable formula for a personalised and highly effective scalp-to-ends anti-thinning action. The high concentration of stimulating and redensifying actives are designed to fight all thinning hair symptoms with a breakthrough combination of StemoxydineTM and NeohesperidinTM for enhanced hair density. The range includes a Fuller hair star ter kit which contains the Clarifying Shampoo, Bodifying Conditioner and Densifying Moose. To get the best results they recommend that you also use Thicker Hair Serum on wet hair before styling and Denser Hair Serum at night before going to bed. Sounds like an awful lot of work doesn’t it!? Well I will not lie, if you want the results you are going to have to put the time and money into this adventure. Allow approx. £100 to get everything you need, which should last up to 3months, but then also allow an extra 10 mins of grooming in the morning, so you may set that alarm clock for 10mins earlier! Is it wor th the time and money? I am now 2 months in and I say hell yeah to that! It may mean an extra 10 mins in the bathroom in the morning, but if it means thicker hair, well for that extra 10 mins your lover, husband, wife or kids may cross their legs and wait outside the bathroom, as far as I’m concerned! I can honestly say from the first day of treatment I noticed thicker feeling hair with more bounce and shine! Don’t believe me? Well a little bird has told me that UK L’oreal Trophy winners Rogue Hairdressers are offering a free trial with every haircut to prove it (just mention at time of booking your appointment) and even better than that, L’oreal offer a money back guarantee if you do not see results within the first 4 weeks, details of which can be found on all packaging! So in the words of RuPaul, sashay away to Rogue to get bigger, thicker hair, that even the next International Drag Queen Superstar would be jealous of! Next up is Online Underwear, Swimwear and clothing sensation Bangandstrike. com. When asked to give these guys the tried and tested treatment I was more than delighted to flick through the online pages of hunks in trunks, briefs, boxers and other clothing. I even spotted GNI’s favourite TOWIE Hunk Dan Osbourne leaving little to the imagination in some briefs having being a Model for the site for a period. With every hot designer from the reliable Calvin Klein and Diesel to the higher end Rufskin and Armani Brands with every budget in mind, what’s not to like? You can browse by price, brand and style on the site and if something catches your eye (and I don’t mean the guys in the pictures!) give it a click and you can instantly see stock availability, more photos and in some cases a 360 degree view! Add your favourites to your basket and follow the instructions for payment and they are delivered packaged to your door quick as a flash, ready for you to pull on your newest pulling pants for you to hopefully Strike it lucky and get down with your bad self in style! For the more adventurous or fetish types amongst you…..check out their sister site BANGX.CO were you will find everything from leather, strings and other things there to tickle your fancy! Personally I’ll stick to my Armani’s!

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And last but not least, let’s go from one TOWIE star to another….. Amy Childs! She gives the impression she’s a tad thick, but in reality she’s far from it judging by the empire of products and clothing she has built up off the back of her TV fame (or maybe that’s just down to good management!) Amy Childs UP TAN GAL! – Professional Tanning Products are available exclusively in Nor thern Ireland at Jason Shankey Lisburn Road and Jasonshankey.com. I’ll be honest, when asked to try this, I wasn’t overly thrilled for several reasons: I hate the look and smell of fake tan, and generally the time and maintenance it takes to keep it up or have it fade naturally. But in the name of you, the good GNI readers, I took up the challenge and went where no pasty Irish Consumer Tester has gone before... the results? Amazing! Hand on hear t, I was actually over the moon with the results and have definitely become an Amy Childs Tan Addict! So natural, so glowy, and so healthy looking! To achieve optimum results, here is my prep from star t to finish: you are advised to have a nice long hot soak the night before with a good scrub, followed by moisturiser in those areas where tan can go patchy i.e. elbows, knees, hands and feet. I decided to just scrub my entire body within every inch of its life and layer the moisturiser on like there was no tomorrow, just to be safe! No deodorants, perfumes or aftershaves that night or before you have your spray tan done to avoid patches or going green. On arrival my tanning specialist went through the specific instructions and questions to make sure things were done correctly, and to decide just how dark we were going to go, I went for light to medium to not look like I had just come back from the Bahamas (there’s an idea... maybe I should try a holiday to there for my next column!). Now if you’re easily embarrassed, I would say buy the home kit, because when you are getting the tan done in the salon, it’s down to just a paper G String before you pop into a tent for your spraying, like a rickety old wooden fence with Ronseal! First thing that struck me was there was no unpleasant fake tan biscuit type smell; secondly it wasn’t unpleasant or cold feeling while the spray was being sprayed onto my skin. You spin and turn in the tent like a hyper ballerina to cover all your areas, have a little drying time and you’re good to go. (One thing I would say is, when you are leaving, wear dark loose clothing home as it can still be a little tacky while drying and developing.) Once I took my ever so glamourous paper G String off, I could instantly see the natural nice tan line with white bits. A man (or in this case woman-made tan) that doesn’t smell like a biscuit factory, doesn’t turn you orange, and has instant results with a great home maintenance kit….hallelujah! I left the salon looking like I had been on holiday, with a confidence bounce in my step, looking like a gal ready to hit the town! With this being my first column and for reading this far, I’ll let you in on a 2nd little money saver tip, Jason Shankey are offering clients 50% off Amy Childs spray tans and 20% off all retail to tan at home when bought in store @ Lisburn Road Salon only until 30 April 2015. Telephone 028 9068 1291 and just tell them Tried and Tested sent you. You’re welcome! *winkface* So there you have it my first column, I look forward to seeing all these fabulous tans, thick volumised hair, and if you’re lucky enough, I might even see your new designer pulling pants at some stage! Until next issue, it’s over and out from me, I’m off to try out some more products….it’s such a hard life! NOT!

TNT tried

Tested

by Tony Webster

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Next of Kin Lewis cameron

The life of privilege, philanthropy and Dom Perignon has its perks. And by perks I mean you can wear whatever the hell you want, whenever the hell you want, to whatever the hell you want. Access to the hottest parties, VIP clubs, the trendiest restaurants, cutting edge runway collections and an unlimited amount of funds. Nothing left to do but sit and wait for the trust fund to arrive and for those unlimited funds to become even more unlimitedâ&#x20AC;Ś in the meantime, look damn good, party hard, and get ready to take over. CREDITS Photography: Mitchell Cahoon Words, Styling & Creative Direction: Lewis Cameron Female Model: Claire Gunn (CMPR) Male Models: Connor Schelling-Tisza (Elite/ CMPR) & Paidi Wallace. Make-Up: Tippy Logronio CLOTHING: Claire: Bomber Jacket & Metallic Tiger jumper by H&M. Spitfire printed dress, cape blazer and smoke skir t by YOUR STATEMENT clothing. Floral T-shir t by Zara & embroidered dress by Urban Outfitters. Connor: Neoprene blazer by Primark, PVC trousers by Urban Outfitters, white cropped jumper by H&M and Criminal Damage reversible bomber jacket. Paidi: Paint stroke T-shir t by Zara. Sequin leather jacket by the Rusty Zip. Cut-out cardigan by Jamie Russell. Woolen vest by H&M Trend and metallic hat by H&M.

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ONLINE DATING FEATURE SPECIAL . GNI ONLINE DATING FEATURE SPECIAL . GNI ONLINE DATING F

online dating The Pros and Cons of Online Dating

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FEATURE SPECIAL . GNI ONLINE DATING FEATURE SPECIAL . GNI ONLINE DATING FEATURE SPEC

WHAT ARE YOU ON? Whether you’re on Tinder, on Grindr, on Plenty of Fish, on Dattch, on Gaydar, on Brenda, on Growlr, on Scissr, on Scruff, or on all of the above, it seems we’re cer tainly all on something. Gone are the days when the phrase “we met online” induced disbelief and derision. Meeting your significant other – or others – online is now much more convenient, and therefore much more common, than ever before. We can arrange dates during meetings; flir t with faraway strangers during lonely work commutes; and even dismiss tens of would-be par tners whilst wolfing down breakfast. Our faithful smar tphones have become our best ever wingmen, providing us with a screen with which to screen all of our potential love interests. And screen we do. Every single day, digital daters engage their chosen service and swipe, chatter, flir t, meet, reject, and sext in an effor t to find ‘the one’, ‘the some’, or ‘just a bit of fun’, depending on what they’re after. With all these cleverly designed apps available, the dating game has rapidly evolved into exactly that: a game. Moreover, it’s a game that many of us are hopelessly dependent upon, whether we care to admit it or not. TECHNOSEXUAL In the twenty-first century, we have come to rely heavily on technological marvels like smar tphones, tablets, and apps for absolutely everything, which encourage us to not only expect convenience, but also to crave, demand, and require it. Now technology has begun to dominate the most private life we lead – our love life. Has the fast-paced, looks-centric world of online dating made us even more judgemental, impa-

tient, and materialistic? Or, has it simply presented us with more choice, and therefore increased our chances of future happiness? Does online dating breed dishonesty, or encourage veracity? Is the flippant nature of digital romance psychologically damaging, or fair and self-confirming? We wanted to find out more, so we did a bit of digging. REAL DEAL OR LIAR LIAR? Dating apps tend to create an air of mystery, which, due par tly to the influence of fairy tales and rom coms, is associated with positive romantic connections. However, the mysterious nature of online profiles (sans physical presence) can create a sense of invincibility, and encourage people to be ‘economical with the truth’. With apps like FaceTune just a few screen taps away, it is tempting to give yourself the makeover you’ve always dreamed of. Of course, lots of people use genuine, unaltered pictures of themselves online, but when some people’s pictures turn out to be over ten years old, we can’t help thinking ‘what a con’. In a time when ‘catfish’ stories abound, it’s not unreasonable to be suspicious of profiles that seem too good to be true. Renowned web psychologist Nathalie Nahai comments, “We deceive people a lot of the time in terms of how we present ourselves online. We do judge people on appearances. In terms of apps like Tinder that try to create more credibility by linking images via Facebook, that problem doesn’t go away, because on Facebook typically we try and present ourselves in a better light by putting up the best pictures, and trying to make ourselves look hot. Studies have shown that people are naturally more suspicious of really attractive profiles, probably because

they take into account their own conduct on online profiles.” Cer tainly most people would agree that putting a filter on a few profile pictures and only ever photographing your good side are forgivable offences. But what about those lies measuring more than 2.0 on the Richter scale? Dishonesty by omission is a common practice online, and it can crop up in any context… that guy on your Facebook bragging about how many reps he managed at the gym is hardly going to openly discuss the three-pound chocolate cake he devoured last night. However, dishonesty by omission can have much fur ther reaching consequences than that guy’s gut. Internet psychologist Graham Jones points out, “There are some people out to deliberately deceive – for instance the happily married man seeking a date with a man simply to explore an aspect of his sexuality he is curious about. Such an individual is unlikely to say that he is married with a couple of children if he wants to have a shor t-lived experimental relationship. If someone is dishonest and that deception is later discovered it will inevitably lead to relationship issues because it will impact on the sense of trust.” Jones is reluctant to label online dating apps as playgrounds for liars, though, and informs us that, “Research shows that people using dating apps tend to be very honest. Indeed, it appears that people are more honest online than they are in the real world.” Nathalie Nahai suggests that the reason people tend to be more honest online is due to a latent possibility of the unknown becoming more familiar: “One ar ticle finds that when heterosexual males are expecting to meet someone face to face, they would be less deceptive than when they know they are going to be engaging in long-term gnimag.com | page 47

ONLINE DATING FEATURE SPECIAL . GNI ONLINE DATING FEATURE SPECIAL . GNI ONLINE DATING

email conversation.” Interestingly, Nahai tells us that, “Women tend to be more deceptive overall, maybe because they feel that the stakes higher, or that they will receive more judgement.” Unless you are incredibly naïve, you will be aware that not everyone you meet through a dating app or website will tell you the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Keep your wits about you, and try to treat others how you would like to be treated (yes, that applies for online dating, too). Remember –behind that screen there is flesh, blood, and feelings. PSYCHOLOGICAL IMPACTS Do online dating apps and rejection go hand in hand? If so, does dealing with rejection on a daily basis help us to develop thicker skins? We asked one Grindr user how he felt about dating-apprejection, and he appeared unfazed, saying, “You get used to it.” Although his answer did imply that initially it presented a problem for him, generally rejection on apps like Grindr is so common that users become accustomed to it; it becomes normalised, and therefore accepted. When asked if he himself dishes out dismissals, he said “Of course. I do it without even thinking about it. That’s just how it works.” A Tinder user we spoke to seemed to suppor t those views, saying, “It becomes disposable. You don’t think of it as rejection, because you are also doing a lot of rejecting – or ‘swiping left’ – and that helps to trivialise it.” Jones agrees that, overall, the ubiquity of rejection on dating apps is accepted as par t of the whole process: “if you don’t hit it off straight away, it doesn’t matter – you can go back to the app and find someone else, in an instant. As a result, people are having to get used to being rejected a page 48 | gnimag.com

lot more by others. None of us like being rejected, but the vast amount of choice available on dating apps means that rejection is now more common than ever before. When faced with such rejection, many people will adopt a ‘plenty more fish in the sea’ mentality; however, some might take it very negatively and star t to feel very low and dejected. Whether or not someone has a positive or negative reaction depends on their personality.” Nahai expresses concern about the frivolity of dating apps, and points out that they could actually act as an obstacle for those genuinely looking for love: “With hookup and dating apps readily available, dating has been gamified and sexualised by technology. The process of using apps and being able to flip through people like they are a commodity – ‘hot or not’, ‘shag or no shag’ – has taken away a lot of the more real world interaction of sitting with someone and getting to know them. In an online dating environment, people are generally looking for a quick shag… The apps try to minimise the amount you can feel rejected, but it is a very throwaway process. Dating apps can create a false expectation, that this is how to meet someone. If you are on dating apps and you are genuinely looking for a long-term relationship, it must be incredibly difficult to meet someone with the same goal.” We’ve all seen internet threads full of abusive comments sent via dating apps. The problem is, no one can predict just how damaging negative comments can be to cer tain individuals. Cer tainly, bad experiences online can cripple a person’s self-esteem. On the other hand, we’ve also heard countless success stories, and these days most of us know an example of ‘happily ever after’ that began online.

Finding love online is possible, but not for the faint-hear ted. So whatever you’re looking for, strap on your bulletproof vest; be as honest as you can be; and try not to throw too many punches, because nobody is immune to hear tbreak. Turn over to read Greg’s tips for perfecting your online dating profile; Elaine’s experiences using lesbian dating apps; and SJ Wilson’s hetero opinions about the whole craze.

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+ = GREG

Let me take a New Year Selfie… So you’ve managed to drag yourself through Christmas (and I don’t mean that you caked yourself in your best mate’s makeup and put on a playsuit) you’ve done it, you’ve survived Christmas single. You might have cried slightly watching Bridget Jones for the 10th year in a row as a singleton and you’ve got every right to, I too would cry if I managed to be single for the 10th anniversary of the Bridget Jones Christmas Gift Box Set release, but well done you, here we are in 2015 and it’s exciting because you’re going to ‘try’ and change everything again. This is your year and we’re just going to write last year off like some sort of horrendous one night stand. That’s right, last year was some sort of beer-goggled experience that upon sober reflection wasn’t that great anyway; it fell asleep halfway through, and didn’t deliver.

So what’s new and what are you actually going to change about you? Change takes some serious determination and if you’re only going to give what you always give, you’re only going to get what you’ve always got – and that isn’t some horrendous sexual innuendo. A good friend of mine said at a turning point in my life, ‘you’ve got to star t taking risks.’ Nothing changes unless you take risks, so listen clearly before you fall flat on your face with your shallow resolutions. As always I’m going to anchor you firmly in reality before you float away on the Disney movies you OD’d on over Christmas.

The Dating Profile I was inundated with messages in the first week of January… what I thought was desperation. Calm down! If you’re serious about online dating and you really want to meet someone you need to take it seriously, more impor tantly you need to take yourself seriously and your dating profile is an adver tisement of you. People will judge your profile in the first 5 seconds of reading it… so you can either go for the £4.95 premium magazine look or the 75p Isold-my-baby-for-a-Pot-Noodle look.

One Liner Every site asks for a one liner, ‘Looking for Mr Right’ ‘Back on here again’ ‘Seeing who’s about’ ‘Hello, is it me you’re looking for?’... Take the time to look around – what’s your Unique Selling Point? Everyone uses the same strapline. ‘Looking for Mr Right’: you may as well clear a shelf in the own brand section of your supermarket and slide yourself on. Get a really witty one liner on there and stand out from the crowd.

Biography This doesn’t need to be your life Pictures story and it also doesn’t need to include: Slow down with the selfies…one is ok because it’s obviously impor tant • ‘I go to the Gym.’ Oh really? You keep fit like a that people see your face… multiple photos of you in sultry poses in large propor tion of the bed, in the shower, with your top population? That’s inter esting. off, however, say ‘Available for low • ‘I like nights in but also budget porn’, so can you actually nights out.’ Well, hello expect someone to take your ‘Wants adrenalin junkie, aren’t a relationship’ claim seriously when you’re behaving like a pre-fame Paris you the man about town? Hilton? You like indoors and you also like outdoors? Oh, do tell me more.

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= ? •

‘I’ve got a good sense of humour (GSOH).’ You’re able to sense when something is humorous… well done you for not being dropped on the head when you were younger and maintaining standard brain activity.

My advice is, stop writing the standard blurb that everyone does, shake it up a little and try to be different and you will get something different back. You need to make an effor t, it’s not the dating site that’s the problem, it’s the user.

Introductions My final piece of advice for you… so you’ve seen a guy/girl you like and you decide to write a message. You send ‘Hello’ or ‘Hey, how’s it going, good weekend?’ One word and one line just scream ‘Oh Hello, I’d like to meet my ‘one true love’… they’ll have everything I’ve always been looking for, but I’d like to do this with as minimal effor t as possible.’ Look at their profile and mention something they’ve spoken about to show that you’re keen and interested, or if you’ve got a ‘GSOH’ try and

make them laugh… go on, break the norm and make an effor t. So take it seriously, take yourself seriously, and take some risks this year, because nothing’s going to change otherwise.

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SJ WILSON Is online dating making hooking up as easy as firing up a microwave meal?

Happy New Year to yer bakes! I would like to kick off my first article of the year by saying... absolutely fack all. Now it is 2015, we are all supposed to be wearing hockey pads and shiny helmets as clothing. Skateboards should be flying and food should be glowing in the dark... the latter is true at least. People have become so dependent on social media that Facebook knows what you are doing before you do it. Twitter knows what you are going to say before you say it and Google knows exactly where you are... even you sitting on the bog reading this! Now one of the most influential par ts of social media is Online Dating. One of the biggest par ts of real life is dating. Our mobile devices have become par t of our appendages so it only makes sense to have Apps for Dating, right? You have

them too, don’t lie. PoF? Tinder? Grindr? Has this left us with the inability to make real connections? In my opinion it has made us socially awkward in dating scenarios. If this trend of online dating and dating apps continues are we all going to end up like Rajesh Koothrappali? (Raj from The Big Bang Theory) Think about it. These apps display the “best” photos of you… the ones taken from the shoulders up, i.e. the misleading ones. People look at those photos and think, “Hmmmm I want that one”, and then send you a sleazy message that you think is charming and funny. Then after a few drinks and courage building exercises, you meet them and find out that the photo you saw was taken 10 years ago. So, you were attracted to the 10 years younger version of them. As for the present version of them, you don’t know if you should hug them or brand them with a cattle prod.

Now I am not saying that all experiences are like that, I kinda met my fiancée online... kinda. However, you should really consider going to a bar to meet someone. Spy someone and then just talk to them. Worstcase scenario: they are not interested and you have just saved yourself a couple of weeks selling yourself to someone who doesn’t appreciate you. You have also saved yourself a wad of cash you would have spent on dead-end dates. Win! Now for those of you who aren’t looking for a meaningful relationship and instead want something quick, convenient, and easy, then I suggest a microwave dinner from Tesco. Nah, I can see the appeal of these apps to busy people with fast lives. Flick through a pile of pics and be like, “I would, I would, definitely not, if I was drunk maybe” or “nope, nope, nope, yep, nope, yep, HELL YEAH!” But just like a ready meal from Tesco, this kind of thing will do. It will just

do. You get it home, microwave it, and eat it, despite it being absolutely stinking. You eat it anyway. My thoughts are clear on these kinds of apps. Grow a big boy pair and go meet people in person. You never know where you might find true love: the queue at Asda; your server in a restaurant; the guy pissing next to you in the toilets; and maybe, just maybe you’ll have a strange couple of coincidental occurrences that lead to you meeting your one true love... I doubt any dating apps have a serendipitous romance function. Romance movies are made about long-winded, hard fought and coincidental love connections; I can’t see a successful love story movie being made about two people that met on Grindr or Tinder… but we’ll see. Anyway until next time, if you can’t beat it, eat it. Follow me on Twitter @SJWilson30 and on facebook.com/sjwilsonofficial gnimag.com | page 53

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It’s a girl thing. ELAINE O’SHEA: THE SAPPHIC LIFE

Lez give online dating a try.

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Don’t worry about it, there’s plenty more fish in the sea. Such an overused expression when you’re facing a breakup, is there any actual truth to this saying? So your clingy ex-girlfriend has decided to end your relationship, due to your obsession with ‘Orange is the New Black’. During her third glass of wine on your weekly “date night” she mumbled something about women in orange jumpsuits turning you on more than her. She feels you have devoted too much time to Netflix, and not enough time to looking at cats you can adopt together at the local shelter. The last straw came when you interrupted her Friday night lecture on why you should go gluten-free. Good riddance. Time to jump back into the dating pond, but wait a minute, where exactly does one hot lesbian go to meet another? Why, online of course! What do you mean there’s no female equivalent of Grindr? Is this some kind of implication that the gay girl’s sex drive isn’t as high as the males? Judging by our dating apps, that’s a big fat ‘yes’. Now I wouldn’t use the word dabbled, but I have cer tainly played around with banter and flir ting online. I would consider myself a movie geek and a keyboard warrior when the mood strikes. I’ve been an active member of online forums, had the craic, and indeed met some surprisingly interesting people that way. There is an air of mystery about not seeing each other’s faces. Those old enough to remember MSN should know that “what’s your MSN?” was the modern-day equivalent of “Facebook me.” In other words ladies, time to dive right in. The closest we get to Grindr is dating app ‘Dattch’. The beauty of this one is that you don’t have to worry about those creepy, lesbian obsessed men who think they can turn you with their masculine energy… sexy! ‘Dattch’ basically gets rid of the weirdos and syncs with your Facebook account. This way, at least you know you’re chatting with the right gender. You can choose from your social media page what picture you want as your ‘selfie’, and throw in some tit – as in tit-bits (this page is gutter free) – about your likes, weekend activities, what female couple you ship, and

other interesting stuff. Within minutes of me joining Dattch, I was greeted with not one, not two, but tons of hot women. And genuine hot women. Yes, they are out there ladies, and closer than you think! ‘Dattch’ lets you see other users’ locations, so if you’re not up for a long distance thing then jump right in. Other available options include the new ‘Scissr’, which is made out to be for the “Shane” type of woman (down for some quick action). Then we have the classics: ‘Diva Date’, ‘Pink Sofa’, and ‘Pink Cupid’. Sadly though, yet again, unlike so many gay men I know who are glued to Grindr and get more hits than a Justin Bieber hate site, you won’t find the same activity and interest from a lesbian dating app. It seems girls join in, lose interest, and the thrill is gone quicker than Anne Heche’s appearance on ‘The Char t’. We have all read the success stories about online dating, which prove that true love can be found on the internet. I should know, having some personal experience on the subject. My first long-term relationship star ted online, quite unintentionally. A debate over Bette and Tina in ‘The L Word’ led to a U-Haul to South America. Now, this was pre-Twitter and before it seemed like the entire world was on Facebook. There was no way to check their latest profiler and give a friendly ‘poke’; my entire belief came down to feeling a connection with someone in an online environment. That is how any dating experience star ts: you chat about things in common, obsess over the leading actresses’ chemistry in Rizzoli & Isles, and mourn the loss of Angelina Jolie’s bisexual days. Before you know it, you have generated that long-sought-after flame of attraction, but don’t expect the flame to remain burning since there’s always the fear of “lesbian bed death” around the corner. There are now so many ways to meet like-minded souls online. Social media is helping communication better than ever. Of course, I couldn’t leave out the amazingly popular Tumblr, and if you haven’t noticed the LGBT community has become huge on YouTube. Some of the most popular couples on YouTube have actually met, and been introduced, via Tumblr. All it takes is passionate chit chat, funny gifs, and re-blogs about whatever you’re interested in, and you never know who your next follower may be.

One of the advantages about meeting someone on Tumblr is that you already know you have tons in common. This really helps to break the ice and the conversation can just flow naturally on a variety of different topics. Many users also share personal

Now I wouldn’t use the word dabbled, but I have cer tainly played around with banter and flir ting online.

pictures and daily activities on their page, giving you even more oppor tunities to form a bond and learn about them. Of course, it’s impor tant to remain honest and be true to yourself. Thanks to websites such as Tumblr, online dating doesn’t have to be all about getting the right profile picture and trying to be witty; it has expanded into new fields. Hopefully the future of online dating for lesbians develops even fur ther to suit both the hound-dogs looking for a scissor session, the gentle souls looking to U-Haul, and of course the in-betweeners who are down for whatever. But for this to happen ladies, we all need to get involved more. Get online, get chatting, and let’s grow as a community of women who love women.

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If you are planning your big day, thinking about popping the question, or just daydreaming about your perfect wedding, take inspiration from Gary and Alan, who tied the knot in November 2008. We caught up with Gary, who told us all about the special day he shared with his partner Alan, and their friends and family… How did you meet? We’d spoken a few times on Gaydar and Alan told me he was DJ’ing in the Parliament Bar on a Saturday night. I went down there that night to meet my friends… and to ‘bump into’ Alan. Unfor tunately my friends decided to go to the Kremlin instead. I only stayed in Kremlin for a bit because I had a fresh tattoo and people kept poking it! I took my leave to go home early and logged onto Gaydar to see what was happening. Alan was home and had already private messaged me. He told me he’d played a song for me and called me on the mic. He would have needed to shout a bit louder though, as I was a few streets away! We decided to meet up for lunch the next day and we really hit it off. How far into your relationship did you decide you wanted to get married? We had been together about three years when the law changed to allow civil par tnerships. We had been living together for a few years and decided it was time for the next step. It wasn’t going to be a big thing, just something to make it legal and make sure that if anything happened to one of us, the other one would be taken care of. Was there a proposal? Sor t of. We’d discussed it and even got each other matching engagement rings, so it really wasn’t going to be a big surprise. Basically he asked me to marry him and then insisted that I got down on one knee. I did it under protest. Who says romance is dead? Did you have an engagement party? We didn’t really have an engagement par ty. When we’d mention that we were getting married the responses were mainly positive, bar a few shocked and slightly uncomfor table faces - not because they didn’t agree with it, but because they were concerned that if it got out we would be targeted in the area we live in. When I was going to tell my dad, I asked my step-mum online what she thought my dad gnimag.com | page 59

would say. My dad took over the conversation and demanded we come down and tell them in person. The two families had yet to meet and we’d only been in our new house for a few months. We were being pestered to have a housewarming par ty (or as I saw it, an excuse to get fed and watered in someone else’s house without having to clean up!), so we killed two birds with one stone and combined the engagement and housewarming par ties. Both families finally met and everything went smoothly. Where did you get the rings? Alan wanted something a bit different, and knowing how much I love Sci-Fi and Fantasy, he found a website that did a version of the ‘Lord of the Rings’ ring, except instead of it saying ‘one ring to rule them all’, it said ‘ one ring to combine our love’. It was written in Elvish so I’m taking the translation for granted from the website. I absolutely love the ring. He even got me a silver chain with the same Elvish inscription on it. The man knows me so well. page 60 | gnimag.com

Did you both agree on the style of your special day, or were there any arguments over planning? As I mentioned earlier, we both knew it was going to be something very quiet. Alan had suggested we elope to Gretna Green and just do it. I agreed that that was a good idea, and when we got back we’d just take the families out for a meal. However, as time went on I was watching all my straight friends and couples having ‘big days’ and celebrating with everyone who loved them. Eventually we decided to do the same and have a proper celebration. If anyone had a problem with us ‘getting married’ or felt uncomfor table with it, it was to remain their problem. Why should we compromise one of the biggest days of our lives because it might push people’s boundaries of acceptance? Did either of you turn into Bridezilla? If by Bridezilla you mean being in total control, then yes, yes I did. Alan is pretty laid back about everything and kind of let me have free rein (well, within reason).

Did you encounter any problems when planning your wedding? It was at a time when civil par tnerships were still pretty new. We didn’t know which venues and companies would be open to hosting or helping with the planning. As it turns out, most, if not all, were open to it. Just a few individuals needed to be reminded that it was our wedding and not a ‘freak show’ that anyone could show up to simply to stare at ‘the gays’. When was your wedding? Did the date have a special significance? We were married on the 15th of November 2008. Alan wanted the wedding to be on the day we met. I wanted it on my mum’s bir thday because she wasn’t going to be there, as she had died a year before I met Alan. To me it meant she was going to be par t of the big day, even though she wouldn’t be there in person. We met halfway and decided on the 15th – two weeks after we met and two weeks before mum’s bir thday.

Did you do anything a little bit differently to the traditional wedding day? No, we kind of wanted it to be like everyone else’s. To us there shouldn’t be any major distinctions between a ‘straight’ wedding and a ‘gay’ wedding. Did you use stationery/favours? Yes, Alan’s mum sourced all the stationery from England and Belfast Castle helped us with the rest. Alan got favours from the internet. All the guests received a rose shaped candle in a case with our names and the wedding date on it. The kids got a ‘rubber duck’ with their names on it. The kids were all pretty young at the time. Where was the service held, and why did you choose that place? The service and the reception were held at Belfast castle. I always wanted something grand and ‘Disney-esque’. We went up to see the castle and its grounds and we thought it was perfect, inside and out. The grounds are spectacular and the stone staircase was perfect

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the

List

Cars/Transport: David Andrew Suits/Men’s Clothes: Collar and Tie Venue: Belfast Castle. Flowers: Mementos Flowers Photography: Frank Hagan Photography Honeymoon: Thomas Cook.

for the photographs.

loved that.

How many guests were at the wedding? There were about 40 guests. We invited our families and our good friends. We don’t really do the ‘scene’ so we didn’t have a lot of gay friends. We decided only people who loved us or had actually been there for us should come. Having them be a par t of the biggest day of our lives so far was our way of saying thank you.

What was the funniest part of the day? It was our first dance. We had hired a pro dancer and decided to learn a Rumba. We had practiced for weeks. But the night before, Alan got stage fright and we decided to change it. He mixed the song into another song. So when we took to the floor, we did the first thir ty seconds of our dance. The guests were a tad stunned at this. Then the music changed into the YMCA just as Alan twirled me out. Seeing the looks of shock and hearing the laughter made it all wor thwhile. Alan’s brother Mark rocking in nothing but a mankini was a laugh as well. Especially seeing his mum go through him for it!

Who did you have as entertainment? One of my workmates had a family member that did wedding receptions, so we hired him. Did you hire a videographer? No. We thought about it, but costs were star ting to tally up. We bought a half-decent video camera with a stand and got our family to set it up and catch everything. We took it on our honeymoon as well. What was the highlight of your day? For us it was being united under the law. We now have matching surnames and rings. And we both scrubbed up quite well! The speeches were also a highlight. I made the women cry unintentionally by talking about our parents’ marriages and love and how I wished my mum was there to see it all. I hope she was proud of me and of us. Alan’s twin gave a speech that involved him telling everyone how I ‘rock in six inch stiletto heels and a Basque’. My dad

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What song did you choose as your first dance? We chose ‘Rule the World’ by Take That. After that it was Westlife with ‘Us Against the World’. Do you have many photographs of the big day? Yeah, the photographer was awesome. He caught everything. Our families had also taken lots of pictures throughout the day. We asked the photographer if there was any chance of putting all the pictures onto memory cards so we could put them in photo frames and give them to our parents for Christmas. He liked the idea so much, he took it on board and star ted using it as par t of his business!

Where did you go on your honeymoon? We went to Gran Canaria; a gay man’s staple! We also took Alan’s mum with us. She’d never been before, and we introduced her to all the drag queens and gay bars. She absolutely loved it… that and the cheap drink! We stayed in the Santa Clara bungalows. If you could do it all again, would you change anything? Honestly, we don’t know. It was pretty much perfect. Though a lot has to be said for eloping. It’s much cheaper and you get your head’s peace. It’s your perfect day but the stress of getting it all together can drive you insane. How are you enjoying married life? It’s been six years since we tied the knot. Nothing much has really changed bar everyone having trouble with our double-barrel surname. We’ve settled into the house and have two dogs that complete the family. Our love is still as strong, even though sometimes we could strangle each other. Happily, there has been no fallout from anyone finding out about the wedding after it happened. We’re just living our quiet life, the way we like it.

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For people who are embarrassed at the condition of their mouths, please be reassured This technique is often cheaper than other fixed implant solutions. Sedation can be used for patients who may be nervous. For people who are embarrassed at the condition of their mouths, please be reassured that the Gentle Dental Care team is here to put you back on track and help you enjoy the everyday This technique is often cheaper than other fixed implant solutions. Sedation can be used for patients who may beGentle nervous. ForCare people who are at the condition their mouths, please be reassured We begin with aDental consultation and examination assess ifon you’re A treatment plan and nothat the team is hereembarrassed to puttoyou back track suitable. andofhelp you enjoy the everyday pleasures in again. may Forincluding people are embarrassed atback the condition of make their please be reassured thatbe thenervous. 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We For more information please contact Adam on 028 9032 6795 or adam@gdconline.co.uk have a wide range of treatment options to suit all budgets. We begin with a consultation and examination to assess if you’re suitable. A treatment plan and noobligation quotation including payment options is provided so you can make an informed decision. We have a wide range of treatment options to suit all budgets. obligation quotation including payment options is provided so you can make an informed decision. We have a wide range of treatment options to suit all budgets. For information please Adam on 028 have a wide range of treatment options to suit all For more more information please contact contact Adam onbudgets. 028 9032 9032 6795 6795 or or adam@gdconline.co.uk adam@gdconline.co.uk For more information please contact Adam on 028 9032 6795 or adam@gdconline.co.uk For moreRoad information please on 028 9032 6795 or adam@gdconline.co.uk 58 Lisburn . Belfast . BT9contact 6AF Adam 028 9032 6795 info@gdconline.co.uk gdconline.co.uk

Ideological Food Fights Should Not Turn Back Time

TOM TALKS

When I wrote this, I already had this issue’s column in my pocket, ready to submit. And what a grand one it was! “Through voting,” I argued, “all of us are able to create a better world. As electorate, we, the people, are given the power to elect politicians into government. Once there, our representatives shape reality and decide what future communities will look like.” If they found themselves in the same debates chamber, Cher – obviously an exper t on time (or rather resisting it) – and the infamous pub-crawling Nigel Farage (UKIP), would certainly disagree about turning back time. Cher would argue that this is a woman’s world, whereas Farage would mainly talk about immigration and its impact on public transpor t, gays, and how he would like to give the British back their country. Apparently, it has been lost recently. I wonder if David Cameron has checked under his car seat yet? One of Farage’s more recent proposals: breast-feeding women should hide in corners (so much for appreciating the traditional family?!), would no doubt also feature. Vive la liber tè! But never mind! Another issue has caught my eye, an issue so urgent that two days before deadline I have decided to take up a completely different topic. It was hiding in plain sight all along. First it seemed trivial, and hardly wor th writing or reading about. Yet recent developments have made this an uncer tainty that could have dangerous implications for the whole of society, par ticularly for members of the LGBT community. But I am star ting this from the wrong end. In order to understand why this is of such huge importance, we must talk about law. Law comes into existence by being proposed and voted on in parlia-

ment. We all know this! It is, of course, why we vote for people and par ties who we think will best represent us and our interests. Only in December, for instance, the UK Parliament in Westminster voted on a law that will forbid online pornography to show the elusive female ejaculation and the sexual practice of face-sitting. As a gay man who likes rugged guys, personally I am not that much of a fan of either. Was this law then a public service, or indeed, just a reflection of society taking a turn towards conservatism? I’ll leave that with you to decide! Though, admittedly, recent news like this, a completely out of hand immigration debate (“swamped”), and other initiatives towards 50s-traditionalism (putting breast-feeding women into the corner!) do frighten me a little when I try to picture the future. Parliament is not the only institution with the power to create law, however.  There is another group of people who do: wearing predominantly black, they also stand out by being the only female and male individuals who actually increase public respectability by wearing wigs. I am not talking about pop stars, but Judges! Case law by precedent, also called the “Common Law”, is a form of law that comes into existence when judges rule on unprecedented legal issues. By now you might have guessed where this is going… yes, I am going to talk about the cake case. What star ted out as an ideological food-fight - the Christian baker who refused to make a cake displaying a message in suppor t of gay marriage - has become a cour t matter, one with wide-reaching implications. A recent YouGov poll suggests that more than fifty percent of the  population found the baker’s refusal to bake this cake acceptable. An even greater majority (as much as sixty percent of polled individuals) stated that they disagreed with the bakery having to face cour t. However, when discussing this case, one should keep two things in mind: the bakery is really not the victim (a role it has lately successfully assumed); and The Equality Commission, a public institution and watchdog for the compliance of equal rights for all (including equality for women, people of faith and racial minorities) found that the bakery had discriminated against its gay customers. As such, the commission asked the baker to suggest compensation (probably, an apology would have sufficed), or face legal consequences. At this stage, the bakery had a choice: it could act on the law and right the

legal (and moral) wrong it had done; or it could enter into a legal battle. The latter option has an obvious objective: to fight the very law it had broken: the equality law. And this is where we stand now, facing dangerous consequences. The outcome of this case will set a legal precedent, going far beyond cake. The ruling will determine whether service providers (including GPs, landlords, or recruiters) can legally refuse to do business with individuals who they think might go against their religion. This could introduce widespread discrimination, and not just against gays. If we keep taking the Bible as a book of reference, negative consequences might tangent women (par ticularly pregnant women); people of minority faiths; and basically anyone deemed discrimination wor thy by religious texts. Because, if a judge finds that the religious conscience of a service provider should weigh higher than individuals’ rights to equal treatment, this would become precedence, resulting in legal exceptions for all services, all religions, and all sectors of  public life - including housing and healthcare. Even equality protections in employment could be weakened! But this is not the end of it. Since the case has reached such prominence, quite a large number of organisations have, quite vocally, expressed their concerns for the protection of small businesses and their owners’ religious rights. This is sadly ironic, considering that the equality law is specifically in place to protect the rights of all, including people of all faiths. One DUP  member of Nor thern Ireland’s local assembly has put the icing on the cake now (so to speak). Independently from how the ongoing legal battle ends, MLA Paul Givan has pledged to write a religious “conscience clause” into law to fight the “intolerance” religious people have to  put up with. Already, this initiative has the backing of Nor thern Ireland’s First Minister. The consequences are clear. If a conscience clause does come into law, all people of faith will be eligible to reserve it for their actions. Your Muslim grocer might not want to sell you wine anymore, while a Catholic doctor might refuse to help a mother who has complications giving bir th. I wonder; is this really where we are heading? Towards a splintered society whose citizens hold up religious texts and refuse to deal with people of differing beliefs? So, what can we do? Well, already campaigners have star ted counter initiatives - an online petition on change.org outlines what is being

planned here. By signing this petition we can raise awareness, not just within the LGBT community, but also amongst our straight allies.  While we are free to believe whatever we wish, if we prefer to keep living in a secular society rather than in a theocracy where religion is law (“caliphate” how the radical Islamists of ISIS call it); we had better find a way to live with each other on common ground. Keeping religion and the state divided might just do the trick. So, go and sign this petition. Or call up and lobby your MLA. Since the period of enlightenment, the division of religion and state has resulted in social progress. We now live in diverse societies, with good quality of life (most of the time, anyway), better medical services, and less prejudice and bigotry. So, do not let them turn back time! Do not let them destroy what has rightfully been achieved, in terms of women’s rights, gay rights, and personal and religious freedom. We are the people, and we are many. If we go out and make ourselves heard, we can stop them taking back our rights.

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AN OPEN LETTER

We recieve submissions to GNI on almost a daily basis, most of what we get never reaches the pages of the magazine. However, when we recieved this piece we thought long and hard about what to do with it. It’s an exceptionaly honest and often difficult piece to read. It covers a topic that so many of us have had to deal with. In the end we decided to share it with you all. The contributor validates that although we are all vunerable we are all strong enough to face our demons head-on and fight. Remember there are people out there who can help you face whatever life throws at you - don’t suffer in silence, it doesn’t make you weak to ask for help........ “Every single day I think about ending it all. I wish I didn’t think like this, but realising that I can be honest about it with others and myself has in some way helped me to be stronger and battle the daily thoughts. When I look at my life, I feel like I have nothing to complain about. Yes, I have had moments in my life, like anyone, where I have been hur t (and some of these have been quite extreme), but I am in no way in the worst situation imaginable, and yet it’s a feeling that I just can’t shake. I wish I didn’t feel this hur t or have these thoughts, but I do. Some people told me to go and see a doctor and get medication to help, but for a long time I felt like I didn’t need to; I felt that my depression was not severe enough to require medication. However, last month I went and talked to my GP. He did give me medication, but said that some people can deal with depression themselves. When I told him about writing this ar ticle, he said that it could be helpful. page 66 | gnimag.com

Back In August, people all over the world were shocked by the death of someone who touched all our lives in some way or another with his movies, shows, and numerous television appearances. I am of course talking about Robin Williams. The thought that if someone who seemed to have it all – money, fame, family, friends – could do such a thing, is truly devastating. He brought so much laughter to each of our lives, yet underneath he was hur ting. I had the privilege of meeting Robin a few years ago when I lived in New York. He took the time to

Remember: you are precious and you are loved, and you are not alone. The most important thing is to have patience with yourself. See each and every new day as a true opportunity to grow. speak with me, sign an autograph, and pose for a photo. It was often a story I shared with others, as he was that iconic kind of person, someone who did really touch all of our lives. But the story of how Robin Williams died shouldn’t be what we remember about him. Robin Williams did not die from suicide; he died due to an illness that took control of his mind, and just like

any illness can, it got the better of a great man. Robin Williams died from depression. Many think that people who commit suicide have chosen to die. This is because depression as an illness is still widely misunderstood. Just as a pulmonary embolism can be a fatal symptom to someone suffering from cancer, suicide is a fatal symptom of depression. Depression is not a choice of lifestyle; it is an illness. You cannot choose to not have depression, just like you cannot choose to not have cancer. The numbers of people who die from depression aren’t exactly known, as this distinction isn’t made in suicide statistics, and you don’t always – though implied – have to suffer from depression to commit suicide. We need to do more to battle this illness and the stigmas that continue to surround it. A greater focus on the illness might help to banish the all too common ‘it was their own fault’ attitude. Robin Williams did not die from suicide, rather he died from depression and it was not his choice to suffer that. In the same way, many of those we know living with depression do not choose to suffer this illness. But we can choose to be there for one another. Make sure your family and friends, your par tner, and whoever else is in your life knows that you are there for them, willing to help in whatever way possible. Depression is quiet, and anyone can fall victim to it. Like wearing a mask, people hide depression with a smile – I know I do, especially in public or with friends and family, using the go-to “I’m fine” in reply to anyone who asks how things are! Nobody can detect the depression in you but yourself because hiding it, disguising it, masking it, is easy. The

happier you look and the bigger the smile, the less anyone will suspect. But you cannot hide depression forever as everyone reaches a breaking point and you know what? That’s OK. There is love and suppor t all around you. Talking really does help; by talking things out with others in your life, you will get the assurance that you need to fight depression. Don’t be ashamed, there are plenty of people out there who understand. Remember: you are precious and you are loved, and you are not alone. The most impor tant thing is to have patience with yourself. See each and every new day as a true oppor tunity to grow. If you feel you are suffering, don’t be afraid of opening up to someone – family member, friend, doctor, or other professional. Just talking about these feelings can really help, so please don’t suffer alone. Personally, I am fighting a daily battle. I hope that one day I can conquer the thoughts and be free, but having talked to people about it, I do feel a lot stronger. I live with it, I try to understand it, and I try to have the patience to beat it. I hope that if you are feeling the same way, you will seek help and beat depression. Stay strong, stay safe.” _____________ If you are suffering from feelings of depression, do not go it alone. Lifeline is the Northern Ireland crisis response helpline service for people who are experiencing distress or despair. Lifeline counsellors are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week to listen and help, in confidence. Call Lifeline for free on 0808 808 8000.

Supporting & Empowering the Lesbian, Gay, Bi-Sexual, Trans and Questioning community in Northern Ireland.

PROMOTING DIGNITY AND EQUALITY FOR ALL 1st Floor, 9-13 Waring Street, Belfast, BT1 2DX www.cara-friend.org.uk | 028 9089 0202 CARA-FRIEND LGBTQ SWITCHBOARD NI

0800 8000 390

Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday - 6pm to 9pm

SERIOUSLY THO... Let me start off this year’s first column on a positive note: Tiffany & Co., the iconic jewellers, included a gay couple (a real one, not just two models) as part of their 2015 advertising campaign. The news, and the beautiful photo of the couple, went viral, and rightly so – it was the first time a major, internationallyrenowned brand of its kind embraced gay and lesbian customers. There’s something about this, without wanting to be too dismissive, that makes me want to shout ‘about time!’ Not because of gay rights, but because it makes sense for business. The pink pound (or euro, dollar, or however else you earn a wage) is one of the most lucrative and as-yet unexploited demographic groups around. Many adult LGBT people, generally speaking, have more expendable income than their straight counterpar ts. This is mainly because LGBT people haven’t been either able to or pushed towards settling down and raising a family. In shor t, no kids means more cash to burn on enter tainment, holidays, and more. With more rights being granted by more countries, and Western society becoming more accustomed to thinking of LGBT people as no different to the rest, the pink pound may well lose its lucrativeness as gay and lesbian couples get married and decide to raise a family. This remains to be seen, because it will take a long while before some societies stop regarding gay and lesbian couples as something ‘other’ or separate from the norm. This inevitably has a knock-on effect for business and adver tising, as the industry has gone from parody in the past, to sometimes groundbreaking inclusivity. For now, though, many companies and businesses know well that to become popular with ‘the gays’ is to become fashionable and gain footing in a demographic with potential for profit. IKEA, McDonald’s, Levi’s, American Apparel, AllState Insurance, Starbucks, Expedia, Absolut Vodka, Smirnoff and many other companies have either given a subtle nod in favour of LGBT rights, or have actively gone out of their way to seek customer loyalty from the gay community. The reward is almost tangible, though; once a brand shows a warm side to the LGBT community, its public reputation goes sky-high. Simply put, it’s a win-win. For Tiffanys to feature a gay couple in their new adver tising campaign, therefore, is not groundbreaking because it’s rare – it’s not, but it’s also not common enough yet – but rather that it’s such a luxurious and exclusive-by-design brand. The ad proves that not only is the gay community a viable target demographic, but also a very attractive one for business.

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COMING OUT Rhoda McClure

I grew up in a very Evangelical Ch r i s t i a n household in Omagh. It was the kind of Christianity where there were a lot of rules – you go to church three times on a Sunday and you’re not allowed to go to the cinema or watch TV on a Sunday. I knew I was gay from about the age of five. At that age you don’t really know what being gay is, but I knew I was different and I didn’t quite know why. A bit later on in life I understood it more, but by that stage I also ‘knew’ that it was wrong, because I was brought up in a church that taught me it was wrong. There was an internal struggle going on when I figured out what it was. It wasn’t particularly pleasant. I didn’t really come to page 70 | gnimag.com

terms with my sexuality until I came out, which was when I got into my first lesbian relationship. When I was a teenager I wasn’t happy in myself. I was very sad a lot of the time, and I knew why. I resor ted to selfharming. My parents – because they love me and care about me – sent me off to Christian counselling, which is probably the worst thing they could have done. Eventually I owned up to what it was all about, in the very last session. I was about 17 at the time. I told the counsellor, “I think I might be gay”, and her response was, “No, you’re not. Just forget about it, it will all be fine.” She denied what it was and her advice was to put it to the back of my mind, a n d move

on. She emphasised that it was wrong and unnatural. So I went off to university in Huddersfield, met a guy, and was with him for six years. He was a lovely guy; I really liked him, but I knew there was always something missing; I knew I just wasn’t really myself. After uni I moved into a house share. There was another girl living there, and we star ted developing feelings for each other. That relationship lasted about four years. It felt safe, because in England I wouldn’t be judged for it or be told that it was wrong. I kind of chickened out; I didn’t ever tell my par-

ents. I brought my girlfriend over here for a week just to show her around the place. My mum kind of suspected we were more than friends, so she took my brother out for coffee and asked him if there was something else going on. I had just recently told my brother, and he was fine with it. He confirmed that I was in a lesbian relationship. She didn’t react par ticularly well; neither did my dad. I think they were just utterly shocked. I can understand why – it’s a different generation and that’s how they were brought up. We’re not the kind of family

that openly talks about things, so they didn’t confront me about it. Instead they refused to communicate for a couple of months. It was hur tful, but in a way it was easy for me to carry on because I was in England, away from my family. I can see it from both sides – they have strong religious beliefs, and I go against those beliefs. At the same time they’ve made huge effor ts to show that they still love me. They’ve met my girlfriends and they’ve been really good to them, so I can’t really ask for much more than that. Now that I live over here I see them quite often. I’m actually strangely proud of them, because they have been so accepting. I know they’re never going to change their minds; they’re always going to be of the opinion that my lifestyle is wrong. I moved back here about four years ago. In 2007, before I moved back, I star ted a lesbian t-shir t company called ‘Little Ms. Tees’. It all star ted from a conversation I was having with my girlfriend at the gnimag.com | page 71

time. I joked that I needed a t-shir t that said ‘I’m a lesbian’ so I wouldn’t have to say it. We came up with several slogans and made a website. It really took off and that’s what I’ve been doing ever since. I sell all over the world. It’s really pleasing when customers from places like Russia or Poland, where it’s not cool to be gay, buy my t-shir ts. I guess, at the time that I star ted Little Ms. Tees, being a lesbian was quite novel for me and that’s how I really wanted to identify. Star ting that company was a way to express that identity, and allow others to express it as well. Since then I have star ted a second t-shir t company called Norn Iron Tees. I never really feel like I have to tell people I’m gay; I don’t think it’s really an issue anymore. I kind of look a little bit gay, so I guess people just assume now. I think things are definitely changing here, and that the majority of people here make up for the lack of positive change. Having said that, I had never experienced any homophobia in England, and it was quite shocking to have homophobic remarks directed at me in N. Ireland. It made me want to jump on the next plane back to England! It’s up to us to normalise it, and I guess wearing t-shir ts is one way of doing that. I left the church when I first came out because I couldn’t unite the two concepts of being gay and having a faith. The very ‘black and white’ nature of my Christian teaching meant that I struggled to justify my sexuality in my head. It wasn’t until I came back over here that I star ted trying to understand what the Bible really says about being gay. Personally I really don’t think God minds which par t of the sexuality spectrum we’re on, just that we make the most of life and we love others in a way that matters. My brother is very much involved in the church, but one in which the faith is progressive, forward thinking and welcoming of all members of the community. There are cer tainly a few churches in Belfast that won’t just bake you a cake; they’ll help you eat it! I’ve known loads of people who have been totally ostracised from their families and the church, so I guess I’ve been pretty lucky really. I’m sure there are a lot of teenagers and kids in a similar environment that I grew up in who feel that they can’t come out, or that they can’t address that par t of themselves yet. Growing up, I never thought that I could be out later on in life. It’s really good to know that it is possible, and that it isn’t insurmountable. Even if people do ostracise you, they’re not wor th having in your life. You will get through it, and you will make good friends. It’s just impor tant to be yourself, and to be true to yourself, because you can’t live for anybody else.

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Together For You Together For You is a mental health and wellbeing project, led by Action Mental Health and working in partnership with Aware Defeat Depression, CAUSE, Cruse, MindWise, Nexus, Praxis Care, Relate NI and The Rainbow Project and funded by the Big Lottery Fund. Through a range of services we can help young and old, men and women, minority groups (Black and Minority Ethnic and Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender) and marginalised groups (prisoners, NEETS (Not in education, employment or training) and unemployed). This is the first time nine leading mental health charities have come together to deliver a range of activities aimed at: educating people and their communities; raising awareness of mental health and encouraging help seeking, promoting good mental health and early intervention; preventing mental illness; and providing intensive suppor t for those already experiencing mental ill health. For more information visit www.togetherforyou.org.uk or call 028 9032 9150 The Rainbow Project’s role within the Together For You Programme is to develop LGB&/T Peer and Social Groups across Nor thern Ireland and offer one to one suppor t to LGB&/T people and their families. NUALA What is your role within the LGBT peer social and support groups? I am the staff member within The Rainbow Project; funded through the Together For You Programme to work within communities across Nor thern Ireland to develop Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and or Transgender (LGB&/T) peer social and suppor t groups, the aim being to reduce the social isolation experienced by people within the LGB&/T community. Many people from these communities may feel fearful of identifying as LGB&/T in a society which is deemed to be ingrained by heterosexism; where the ideology is that everyone is heterosexual and

that heterosexuality is superior to other forms of sexual identity and or gender identity. How much do these communities and people need support? Growing up in a heterosexist society and identifying as LGB&/T (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender) is not easy as people may be unable to be their true selves. This causes many problems and issues, and a major problem is social isolation and the impact this has; feeling alone as ‘the only gay in the village’ with no oppor tunity to meet other LGB&/T people for social suppor t, friendship and no oppor tunity to express their sexual orientation and gender identity in an understanding and safe environment. Social isolation can reduce a person’s quality of life, which results in people just existing but not living, because of the lack of social contact, separation from social groups and a lack of meaningful relationships. Some LGB&/T people may hide their true sexual orientation and gender identity to fit in with society’s heterosexual norms, and as a result become socially isolated from the LGB&/T community. This is one of the main ways that LGB&/T people may become isolated; additional reasons include; fear of rejection; because they are socially stigmatised; because of other people’s religious beliefs; because of the way they have been brought up; or because they may have been victims of homophobic/ transphobic hate incidents/hate crimes. What are the benefits of these groups – how do they help LGBT people? LGB&/T peer social and suppor t groups can offer both social and professional suppor t. This type of provision can reduce or diminish social isolation by providing safe places and oppor tunities for people to meet other LGB&/T people, which will increase their social and suppor t network; people can form healthy meaningful relationships. The suppor t provided by LGB&/T staff, delivery of programmes, work-

shop and awareness sessions provide professional suppor t. This can increase personal and social development, which in turn can increase people’s confidence, self-wor th and self-awareness. These groups are invaluable to reducing social isolations within the LGB&/T community and the impact this has on people; diminishing loneliness; and they can make a positive impact on people’s emotional and mental health and well-being. Additionally, this provides a direct way into suppor t services, whether these are delivered by LGB&/T organisations or par tners in Together For You. Do you think there is a neglect of the needs of LGBT here in Northern Ireland? Even though there are laws and legislation in place to protect the LGB&/T community, there still is fur ther work to be done within society to dispel prejudice and to end discrimination, and homophobic/ transphobic abuse and hate crimes towards the LGB&/T community. People are still frightened to come out because of this fear of bias, prejudices, discrimination, homophobic/ transphobic abuse or hate crimes, or because they may be disowned by their family and friends. Consequently they may stay hidden, and become socially isolated rather than risk rejection by society. TASHA: What is your role within the LGBT peer social and support groups? I’m the chairwoman of the committee of the LGB&/T group in Omagh, it’s my job to make sure the meetings run smoothly and efficiently. I keep in touch with Nuala from Rainbow regarding the progress of the meetings and for the likes of training. At the actual meetings themselves I’m there with the other founding members to greet people and ensure they settle into the group nicely. They also know that if they have any questions or queries I’m always happy to help. How much do these communities and people need support?

To try and put a limit on it is just impossible. Especially in the likes of our group in a town where homophobia is still an issue. There is most definitely a great need for our group and the help that we provide. What are the benefits of these groups – how do they help LGBT people? Our group in Omagh offers everything from a cup of tea and a chat with likeminded people to training and awareness courses. You’d actually be surprised at how much good a games night or a movie night can do for people. Just to be in an atmosphere where you feel safe and secure whilst being able to be yourself is extraordinary. These groups are a fantastic way for people to meet others like themselves in their community when they’ve often felt alone. Do you think there is a neglect of the needs of LGBT here in Northern Ireland? Most definitely. Nor thern Ireland still sees the homosexual as a secondclass citizen and someone to feel threatened by. It’s a case of brushing it under the carpet and forgetting about it; hoping it’s a craze and that it disappears. Because of this, it is neglected. A person in power being openly homophobic also cer tainly does not help in progressing the cause either. DAMIAN: What is your role within the LGBT peer social and support groups? I am one of the founding members of the Omagh LGB&/T group. I keep in touch with the other members and Nuala to ensure the group meetings are organised and there’s always someone at the premises to help with the meetings. I’m there to provide help and suppor t to all members, old and new. How much do these communities and people need support? I think they need a lot of help in different aspects. We can provide social and peer suppor t and ensure that lo-

cal LGB&/T people have somewhere they can turn to and feel safe. We offer so much personal advice and anything that is out of our hands we can pass them onto The Rainbow Project. What are the benefits of these groups – how do they help LGBT people? You’re able to meet other LGB&/T people in your community. You can have a chat with them and be totally honest about who you really are. A lot of people we have encountered within the group aren’t ready to be open about their sexualities and they have no one else to turn to, except us. Do you think there is a neglect of the needs of LGBT here in Northern Ireland? I thought there was a massive neglect, that was until we star ted the Omagh LGB&/T group. I now feel that I’m not so much on my own anymore and there are people and organisaitons in Nor thern Ireland working towards helping. I know now if I have any problems there’s going to be someone in that group I can talk to. Not everyone in Nor thern Ireland is that lucky. How can people get involved in these groups? Anyone in the LGB&/T community is more than welcome to be a par t of our group. We’re an extremely open minded group. We have had people of all different backgrounds come together in such a small town. Rainbow Project Volunteer Befriender JOHN MAC How did you get into the Befriending programme? Been volunteering for Rainbow for five years, including contributing ar ticles to its quar terly magazine. What made you want to do it? Following on from an introduction to counselling studies course I did. Also, I wanted to contribute something to LGBT people.

How does the programme work? Befriend for 6-8 sessions (one hour at a time, can be more depending on the activity) over a period of a few weeks/months. Meet with other befrienders for regular meetings and reviews, and receive appropriate training. What kinds of things do you do with your friend? Coffees, chats, walks, visits to local museums/ar t exhibitions/churches, Belfast gay scene tour, discuss coming out issues, meeting other LGBT people and groups. What do you get out of being a ‘befriender’? Reaching out to isolated people, par ticularly from urban or rural areas. Would you recommend the programme, and if so, why? Yes, but only if the befriendee is ready - they can be vulnerable and not immediately up for meeting other LGBT people or getting involved in LGBT-related activities. What traits do you think you need to be a good befriender? A good listener, someone who doesn’t judge or give advice. Someone who can cope with silence and let the befriendee talk (or not, if they feel they don’t want to). Someone with initiative, but who is also willing to go along with what the befriendee wants to do. Rainbow Project Volunteer Befriender MARTINA How did you get into the Befriending programme? I wanted to volunteer with TRP and Befriending vacancies came up so I applied. What made you want to do it? After completing a Personal Development Programme with TRP, I saw the difference in some young people, who at the beginning of the programme were very quiet and not very confident, then at the end of

the programme they had completely changed; they were confident, positive and comfor table with who they were. So I wanted to befriend people who felt isolated and help them become par t of the community.

touch with the community or who’s just coming out and feels isolated, or for people who enjoy meeting others and want to increase their social network. It has already improved the lives of many people.

How does the programme work? Clients who want to par ticipate in the Befriending service contact TRP OutReach Officer Nuala Devenny. She will then invite them in for a chat, and following a needs and risk assessment, if Nuala feels that befriending is the best way forward for the client, they will be placed on the waiting list to be paired with a suitable befriender. Anyone who has used counselling or advocacy services could also join the befriending service.

What traits do you think you need to be a good befriender? A caring person, nonjudgmental, good listener, and flexible, easy going, and good sense of humour.

What kinds of things do you do with your friend? All sor ts of activities can be par t of a befriending session, from a cuppa and a chat to going to the movies, theatre, museums, LGBT themed events, walk in the park, St. Georges Market, it depends on the client and the befriender. The volunteer befriender will ask their client all their likes and interests in the introductory session and build a programme around the client. The aim of befriending is to introduce the client to as many people as possible to increase their social network. What do you get out of being a ‘befriender’? I am delighted when I see the difference in a client following their befriending programme. They know more people, they are confident and proud of who they are, they are par t of the community and usually they go on to volunteer with TRP or stay in touch with volunteers through Social Saturday and First Wednesday Film Nights. I believe everyone deserves the chance to fulfill their true potential, I just feel like I’m doing something good. Would you recommend the programme, and if so, why? Yes, the befriending programme is available for anyone who has lost

Befriendee RAY How did you get involved with the Befriending programme? I got involved through attending counselling at TRP. What made you want to do it? I wanted to make some new friends - par ticularly friends from the gay community. What kinds of things do you do with your befriender? We go to the cinema and also meet at group sessions. What do you get out of being befriended? It helps break the loneliness and isolation. Yes, a person can experience that, even in a big city. Do you find it easy to share personal things with your befriender? I find it very easy to talk to John; my befriender. He has signed up to the confidential agreement set out in the first meeting so it’s very safe to talk about personal things with him. Would you recommend the programme, and if so, why? I would definitely recommend the befriending service. It’s been helping me overcome my shyness and given me the oppor tunity of making new gay friends. For further information about any of the programmes mentioned in this feature, contact Nuala Devenney, Outreach and LGB&T Officer at The Rainbow Project, on 02890 319 030 or nuala@rainbow-project.org. gnimag.com | page 75

WHO ARE YA?

Dr Neil Watt Lord of the manor.

AN ABOUT THE M at t Name: Dr Neil W Baby y eil N e: m na ick N ty Manager Job Ti tle: Proper ., M.A., Ph.D. B.A : ns tio Qualifica um m , Anne. Best Fr iend: My Venice e: Favour ite Plac : True Blood ow Sh TV Favour ite ey Gardens Favour ite Film: Gr Molly Keane me af ter Time, by Ti : Favour ite Book G&T rink: Fillet of beef/ Favour ite Food/D My dog, Clara Favour ite Animal: relaxed one lol A : Favour ite Pose line Dion CDs Lis tening to my Ce Guilt y Pleasure: nes Bernelle Celebrit y Icon: Ag ing Hobby: Horse rid for granted. take anything in life Life Mot to: Never

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What did you do before you became involved with Lissan House? I have always had a link with Lissan House, and visited the house when I was younger. It was always an intriguing and atmospheric place. I farmed locally with my father, lived the high life, and studied for my doctorate at Queen’s. But a couple of years ago I came back to Lissan again, and I just haven’t left. Describe Lissan House… Lissan House is a huge seventeenth century country house, so big in fact that only the other day I discovered a room I never knew about! It sits in nearly 300 acres of forest and parkland, and is just a kind of secluded paradise. It is filled with old furniture, curiosities, paintings and quite a lot of ghosts! It was home to the Staples family for nearly 400 years, until the last old eccentric member of the family, Hazel, died in 2003. She lived a sor t of Grey Gardens existence – just wonderful. She created a trust which has the task of looking after the whole place. I was a trustee of the house, therefore it is so impor tant that we look after it, as Hazel wanted us to. What is your job title at Lissan House… Lord of the Manor? Queen of the Castle? I think I prefer Lord of the Manor lol! What do your duties include? I do pretty much anything and everything that I have to, from chopping wood, taking tours, cleaning, gardening, throwing par ties, receiving guests, acting in our infamous murder mystery evenings, and trying my best to restore the proper ty to its former glory! So a wide job description! How much time do you spend there? I spend nearly every day here. It is so easy to come to Lissan and find that time becomes quite different from reality. I think it is the sor t of place a person comes to, takes it to their hear t, and really doesn’t want to leave. Have you noticed any ghostly goings-on? Yes, on a daily basis. There are always sightings, smells, or voices in the house, even when I am alone there. I have come to get on well with them all, except for one grumpy old man spirit who seems to hate me and shouts ‘B*****d’ at me. Can you relay any ghost stories that you have heard about the house? In the long bedroom corridor, most guests have seen a lady in a red dress walking along, or holding a doll. The last Lady Staples used to say that a lady in black used to thud down the corridor in hobnail boots and waken her up. Lady Staples got so annoyed by the constant disturbance, she kept slippers by her bed to throw at the spirit lady to make her bugger off! What do you know about the Staples family? I know quite a lot about their history, but I’m always finding out new things from people who used to work in the house or farmed the land. Their history is like something from a novel – with lawyers, soldiers, heiresses, lunatics, ar tists and eccentrics in the family.

How important is it to you to honour Hazel Marion Radclyffe Dolling’s vision of a full restoration of the Big House? Vitally impor tant. It means so much to me, and to many others here, that Hazel’s family home is fully restored. I think that is what keeps us all going – remembering Hazel’s guts, determination and spirit. Lissan House is so unique and beautiful that it must find a place in the hear ts of others in Nor thern Ireland. It still is a hidden gem, and it has so much to offer. Over the past two years our hard work has paid off - the house is filling up with people, par ties and laughter - and I want to make sure it stays that way, and keeps getting better and better. Do you have a favourite room? I love the Ballroom. It is so spacious and beautiful, looking over the Lissan Water and the treetops – it is like floating in the air when you walk into the room. It has played venue for so many weddings and par ties – it is such a fun space. We have pictures of Marilyn Monroe standing underneath the gold chandelier which hangs in that room. Do I like it because it is a bit camp? I think everyone loves a bit of camp lol. Why should people come and visit? Well we have so much to offer. We do guided tours of the house which are really fun, and in April we are opening up our regency dining room in the ground floor of the mansion for gorgeous Downton Abbey style afternoon teas etc. The grounds are so beautiful, if you love walking, picnics, or just lying under a big tree and relaxing, it is just paradise. You can also hire the house for your civil par tnership, reception, or for private par ties of any kind – something that is becoming more popular instead of just going to the same old hotel venues. We all love something a bit different, don’t we? What has been the biggest challenge in your job so far? Probably getting the Lissan House name out there to the Belfast and Londonderry/Derry audience – we are less that an hour’s drive from both cities, so I really want more city people to come out and visit us. How do you get funding for the restoration project? Our major funding has come from the Heritage

Lottery Fund, as well as other funding bodies. But we also put all of our own income towards the restoration fund, and it has been our own funding that has restored the ground floor. Tell us about the murder mysteries you put on… We have Murder Mystery evenings here in the

house, at least a couple of times a year, and our next is in April. They are not what you might expect from the country house experience – they are naughty, fun, tongue-in-cheek and always put on to shock and enter tain. Befriend us on Facebook to be kept up-to-date on these and our other events. We are also having a jazz evening in May with the amazing singer, Michelle Baird. How long have you been with your partner, and does he get invovled with the work you do at Lissan House? I have been with my par tner for about a year and he has been a terrific suppor t with Lissan. He is very ar tistic and did the prosthetics and facial ar t for our sell-out Halloween event in 2014. He is a very kind, considerate and loving par tner, and I am very lucky to know him. Extra info... If you would like any fur ther details about having your civil par tnership at the house or hiring it for a private par ty, or if you simply want to come to visit or drop in for afternoon tea, feel free to contact us. Website: www.lissanhouse.com Tel: 028 8676 3312 Email: lissan.house@btconnect.com Facebook: search for Lissan House.

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A.V. Perry Her Life. Her Thoughts.

Hello there, gorgeous and fabulous people, I hope you had a lovely Christmas! Happy New Year! Where on earth did 2014 go? I swear on my hair the months go by quicker each year! I write today with a heavy hear t at the horrible news that broke around the world at the star t of 2015. The tragic suicide of a young transgender girl called Leelah Alcorn. The 17-year-old took her own life after her parents refused her demand to live as a woman. The teenager had left a haunting post on facebook prior to her death stating “The life I would’ve lived isn’t wor th living in because I’m transgender. To put it simply, I feel like a girl trapped in a boy’s body, and I’ve felt that way ever since I was four.” This saddens me greatly. To think that a teenager or indeed an adult could feel so alone and repressed in today’s society, that they felt they had no way out but suicide, is truly hear tbreaking. Examples like these are a frequent and bitter reminder that we all have a par t to play in this world. We all have a responsibility, moreover a moral obligation to help each other and make this world a better place. If you see someone on the street, on the bus, in your workplace or wherever and you have the slightest feeling that they look, act or sound like they get a hard time from society, just smile! You have no idea how much that smile would mean to them and it is fact that it costs you nothing! Don’t frown, judge, point, laugh or become apprehensive - they have probably experienced it already that day. Just smile! I can

promise you that the value of that smile will be immeasurable! This is only my second editorial but what a debut I had last issue! I was overwhelmed to learn that my ar ticle received a tremendous response and on Twitter alone my ar ticle-tweet generated 36’528 impressions globally! The ar ticle has also been read in many media outputs but in par ticular the Zoe Belle Gender Centre (Australia) website saw 1’400+ views. I take great comfor t in the fact that people are interested in my journey and are suppor ting me, but I will always remain humble to every single action of kindness shown to me by my readers and peers! Last month I was asked to Vinny Hurrell’s radio show #TheClinic on Blast 106fm to provide advice and guidance to listeners with diverse issues. I thoroughly enjoyed myself and got such a buzz from the positive vibe created by helping people. I was nervous at first but settled down quickly and felt true empathy for some of those listeners. My counselling training and life coach therapy came in very useful that night and I’m so grateful to Vinny for inviting me; he’s got a big hear t! The show is on every Sunday night from 7-9pm (GMT) on Blast106fm radio; do listen in for some great advice and as always engage via Twitter and Facebook. Moreover, if you have a problem or an issue and you’d like some help or advice, get in touch with the show! It’s no secret that most women (and men) silently battle with their appearance on a daily basis and this in turn affects confidence, mood and motivation. I am one of those women and I find it hard

to accept that fact! My failed attempts at striving for perfection have steered on depression and low self-esteem in the past but I am learning to accept the things I cannot change; changing/improving the things I can. Sometimes it’s the little details that can make all the difference and that cer tainly was the case with semi-permanent makeup. I went to see the lovely Geraldine Flynn at Complimentary Health & Beauty Clinic on the Lisburn Road, Belfast, to have my eyeliner done. It’s something I had been thinking about for a while as I wanted to enhance the look of my eyes especially when wearing no makeup. Also it can be timeconsuming and tricky doing my left eye all the time as I am right-handed so I felt this would be ideal for me to save time and unskilled resources. She went through everything in great depth so I knew what I was to expect from the first visit as it requires 2 sessions 4 weeks apar t. Then when I was relaxed enough she proceeded with the treatment. It took around 1 hour and honestly it doesn’t hur t at all. It just feels a little strange at first but that soon wears off. I am amazed at how strikingly different my eyes are; while being discreetly beautiful. I LOVE them! I feel better about myself when I look in the mirror each morning and it has given me a big confidence boost. Just by having that little enhancement I have made a difference to my daily life and feel better about myself. I would cer tainly recommend Geraldine and Complimentary Health & Beauty Clinic to anyone! They do a whole range of up-to-date treatments and advanced procedures for all genders and skin types. Check them out! ........... gnimag.com | page 79

Understanding This country would be a better place, If discrimination was kept in a case. It should not matter who or what you love, Or where you go to worship those above. People tend to get too involved, In the way this world is being revolved. And the aspect of religion is such taboo, But no one can exactly tell who is who. Does anyone really care about, The colour of someone’s skin? As this does not affect their, Individual love deep within.

I was lucky to catch up with Kellie Maloney over the festive season and what a genuine, good egg she is!! That women has a great hear t! While I’m writing this here in the cold rain, the bitch is sunning herself up in Por tugal with the dogs! No seriously, she’s taking some well-deserved time off from her hectic schedule. She’s a pioneering Lady doing talks and educating society through LGBT events and football clubs up and down the country! Now that takes courage and commitment, moreover loyalty to an entire community that reaches international propor tions. On behalf of the LGBT community I for one salute you Kellie; God Bless you! I must mention, as we were going to print news broke of the sudden death of one of Coronations Street’s best loved actresses Deirdre Barlow. Anne Kirkbride played the par t for over 43 years and I for one am going to miss her. I had never met her but from what I’ve read and heard, she was a sweethear t and a real joy to know. My sympathies go out to David, her family and her friends; for all the cast and crew at Coronation Street especially Beverly Callard who was an Angel to Anne in her final times. Imagine, the cast and crew will have to bury her on and off screen, something I’m sure will be unimaginably hear tbreaking. Finally, I have some good news to share. Not only am I to join Blast 106fm as a radio presenter, I have been nominated for a Shor ty Award in the Author category for my writing. The Shor ty Awards honour the best of social media, recognising the people and organisations producing authentic content via Twitter, Facebook, etc. My page 80 | gnimag.com

nomination was from a lovely girl called Anita who, still being a teenager, does some amazing work for anti-bullying campaigns. The nomination itself made me feel so proud; I’ve never been nominated for an award ever! God Bless you Anita! The awards ceremony takes place in April this year, in New York City and are livestreamed to a global audience. Previous Shor ty Awards ceremonies welcomed Ricky Gervais, George Takei, Jimmy Kimmel, etc. If you would like to suppor t my nomination, every vote counts, you can do it free over on www.shor tyawards.com/aliciavperry. It only takes a minute and I’d really appreciate it. Thank you! For now, I wish you lots of treats and Blessings for Valentine’s Day and the best of craic for good ‘oul St. Patrick’s Day! Stay Blessed Peeps! Alicia. xox

Prejudice, now there’s a word, Separating us like whey and curd. If fighting weren’t an issue, neither would rebel, This country we are living in is turning into hell. Who has the right to tell you whom to date? What is the difference in a lover and a mate? And who has the right to start and preach, For in each of our lives there is a breach. We should all stop judging and start to share, For inside each person I know they care. How peaceful this planet would be, If all the hurt and anger could be set free. Someday I pray we’ll find some peace, Then victimisation would maybe cease. You should agree that we are all equal, And stop this madness of a bitter sequel. AV Perry

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(WGN EQPUWORVKQP Ć&#x201A;IWTGU HQT VJG %4 8 K &6'% $NCEM 'FKVKQP KP ORI N MO 7TDCP 'ZVTC 7TDCP %QODKPGF %1 GOKUUKQPU I MO (WGN EQPUWORVKQP Ć&#x201A;IWTGU UQWTEGF HTQO QHĆ&#x201A;EKCN '7 TGIWNCVGF NCDQTCVQT[ VGUV TGUWNVU CTG RTQXKFGF HQT EQORCTKUQP RWTRQUGU CPF OC[ PQV TGĆ&#x192;GEV TGCN NKHG FTKXKPI GZRGTKGPEG Model Shown: CR-V 2.2 i-DTEC Black Special Edition in Crystal Black Pearl at ÂŁ30,510 On The Road (OTR). Terms and Conditions: Subject to model and colour availability. Offers applicable at participating dealers and are at the promoterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s absolute discretion. CR-V Deposit contribution: ÂŁ1,000 Honda deposit contribution on CR-V models (excludes S grades) purchased through Honda Aspirations. CR-V Black Special Edition Honda Aspirations (PCP): *4.9% APR Representative example shown based on CR-V 2.2 i-DTEC Black Edition in Crystal Black Pearl at ÂŁ30,510 total ECUJ RTKEG CPF VQVCN COQWPV RC[CDNG YKVJ OQPVJU #24 4GRTGUGPVCVKXG KPVGTGUV TCVG RGT CPPWO Ć&#x201A;ZGF /KPKOWO EWUVQOGT FGRQUKV OCZKOWO EWUVQOGT FGRQUKV 4GRTGUGPVCVKXG GZCORNG DCUGF QP C FGRQUKV OQPVJN[ RC[OGPV )WCTCPVGGF Future Value / Optional Final Payment of ÂŁ13,438.87, annual mileage of 10,000 and excess mileage charge: 7p per mile. You do not have to pay the Final Payment if you return the car at the end of the agreement and you have paid all other amounts due, the vehicle is in good condition CPF JCU DGGP UGTXKEGF KP CEEQTFCPEG YKVJ VJG *QPFC UGTXKEG DQQM CPF VJG OCZKOWO CPPWCN OKNGCIG QH JCU PQV DGGP GZEGGFGF +PFGOPKVKGU OC[ DG TGSWKTGF KP EGTVCKP EKTEWOUVCPEGU (KPCPEG KU QPN[ CXCKNCDNG VQ RGTUQPU CIGF QT QXGT UWDLGEV VQ UVCVWU #NN Ć&#x201A; IWTGU CTG EQTTGEV at time of publication but may be subject to change. Credit provided by Honda Finance Europe Plc. 470 London Road, Slough, Berkshire SL3 8QY. Honda Finance Europe Plc. is authorised and regulated by the Financial Conduct Authority, Financial Services Register number 312541. ;GCTU 5GTXKEKPI KPENWFGU #NN UEJGFWNGF UGTXKEKPI CU FGVCKNGF KP VJG XGJKENGU UGTXKEG DQQM YKNN DG EQXGTGF HQT [GCTU QT OKNGU YJKEJGXGT EQOGU Ć&#x201A;TUV ;GCTU 5GTXKEKPI KU QRVKQPCN +V KU DGKPI QHHGTGF HQT KPENWFKPI 8#6 WUWCN XCNWG KPENWFKPI 8#6 TGUWNVKPI KP C UCXKPI QH HQT VJG EWUVQOGT CPF KU CXCKNCDNG VQ Ć&#x201A;PCPEG QT PQP Ć&#x201A;PCPEG EWUVQOGTU 2NGCUG PQVG UJQWNF [QW UGNN VJG XGJKENG FWTKPI VJG RGTKQF QH EQXGT VJG RCEMCIG TGOCKPU YKVJ VJG XGJKENG

OFF ROAD GNI TEST DRIVE THE CR-V

Well those folk over at Donnellys didn’t disappoint with the car they let us loose on for this issue’s test drive. The weather has been particularly crappy recently - wet, muddy, and slushy - so I was like a dog with two d**ks when I got the email that said I was having a go in the Honda CR-V. It’s one of those cars, well SUVs, that I’ve often admired from afar. We’ve seen all the mumsy boring SUVs about, clogging up our roads when we’re trying to drive past schools or park in the supermarket car park. The CR-V is no boring motor. I turned up to Donnellys on the Boucher Road in Belfast on a wet and miserable Thursday morning to pick up the CR-V. As I walked towards the showroom door I eyed up a stunning black one and kept my fingers and toes crossed that this was the one I was about to get the keys for. I wasn’t disappointed... As I stepped up into this beautiful beast and slid into the new leather heated seats, I took a deep breath and let out what was almost a whimper of delight. I pushed the star t button and waited for a big noisy engine - I assumed that’s what would power this SUV. I was pleasantly surprised when all I heard was a purr. I put him (obviously this car is a man) into gear and drove out of the showroom. This was an exceptionally smooth ride, and because I was sitting high up I got a really good view of the road. I drove out onto the motorway to try him out for speed and power. To be honest I didn’t even get a chance to put my foot to the metal, if I had have I’d cer tainly have been breaking the speed limit. The CR-V has no problem taking off and picking up speed whatsoever. I pulled off the motorway at Balmoral and headed out to Belvoir Park - I wanted to try him out off road. I pulled into the car park and took a look around me... unusually, it was empty. They’d just cut down a load of trees so there was plenty of space to take him onto the grass and mud. I have page 82 | gnimag.com

to admit I was nervous, what if the wheels just star ted to spin and I ended up stuck in the mud in the middle of Belvoir Park? Scundered wouldn’t be the word for it. I could just imagine my mates taking the hand out of me; “oh aye yer car broke down while you were out cruising”. Anyhows, I drove off the gravel and onto the grass. It was really odd, this is something I’d never dare to do in my own car, par tly becuase I’d rip the bottom out of it. The CR-V ploughed over the grass and mud without an issue - I felt like one of the fellas in those adver ts driving through streams n all. Feeling like I’d achieved something, I drove over to the car park at Minnowburn and got out. It was here that I got to have a good look around the Honda CR-V, both inside and out. Let’s star t with the outside; I’ve already said that it’s a look that I appreciate, but when you take time to actually admire it, it’s beautiful - the lines, the curves, the big lights leading down to the manly grill, the side windows all joining and sloping down towards the back giving the look of a younger and spor tier car. Top it off with the gorgous alloys and it’s a real head turner. Inside was great too, there are no issues with space - you could actually probably swing a cat in it (although you wouldn’t) - there’s loads of room for all the passengers and the massive boot is easy to get stuff in and out of because it’s higher up. The dash and center console are all ergonomically and stylishly designed, everything can be seen with a glance and everything is in easy reach. So it was with a heavy hear t that I made my way back to Donnellys and par ted with the key. If you’re in the market for something a bit bigger with more space for friends, family, and the dog, then this is the SUV for you. Space, style, and power.

gnimag.com | page 83

milk

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Apt 4, 36 Clonevin Park

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Y T R E P O R P E E FR 145 Holywood Road, Belfast N O I T A U L A V www.milkestates.com | 028 9065 4314

Refined. Charming. Desirable. Even us gay guys and girls grow up and move out of the city centre, into something beautiful. In our property section in this issue we take you on a guided tour of a beautiful home, situated just a couple of miles outside Belfast City Centre, on a beautiful tree-lined avenue. Let us introduce you to 18 Earlswood Road........

gnimag.com | page 85

Practical.

Traditional. We know that weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve featured some uber modern city centre pads in GNI, but we love a bit of variety. There comes a time when we want a home with a bit more space. Maybe you and the love of your life want to settle into your first home together, mabye your own kids or your nephews and nieces are staying over more often, or maybe you just want to treat yourself. Alan touched base with us about his home, which has been in his family home for his entire life. Over more recent years Alan spent some considerable time and money modernising the home to bring it up-to-date, all the time retaining the character and style of the home. We went along for a wee snoop..... Firstly letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s talk about the location. Positioned on the leafy Earlswood Road that links Belmont and Ballyhackamore just outside Belfast, this home is literally within walking distance to restaurants, delis, coffee shops, salons and bars. As we enter the proper ty we are plesantly surprised with the amount of space in the hall. Alan tells us that during his renovations he removed an old built-in cupboard to make way for a grand entrance, he then extended the staircase leaving a dramatic split

stair arrangement. We carry on through the double doors and into the large lounge. Whether youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re looking for a home to settle down in or par ty in, this room would cater for either. It stretches from one end of the house to the other with a bay window, french door and stunning marble fireplace. The kitchen in the room next door has all the mod cons fitted and thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s even room for a breakfast table. Upstairs there are three bedrooms, as is the norm with proper ties of this period there are two bigger and one smaller one. The family bathroom is big enough for a separ te shower cubicle, so there will be no climbing in and out of the bath to get ready in the morning. Outside space is great at this home too. At the front, the forecor t and drive have been pebbled leaving room for two cars to park. The back garden is an excellent size, and a raised patio area looks over the lawn. Alan has decided now is the time to move on and pass this home onto someone else who will love it as much as he does. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s currently on the market with Milk Estates. Call them on 028 9065 4314 for more information.

Surprising.

Loved.

gnimag.com | page 87

Beyond the Image

In life we are taught to categorise ourselves from a young age. Choose a box and grow within it. Boys must choose the blue box and girls must choose the pink box. “What will you be when you grow up?” A question many of us are familiar with I’m sure, mostly due to our childhood experiences. When asked this question, most of the boys in my class at school would answer in a way that is similar to how many young children still respond today: “Fireman”, “Footballer”, “Doctor”, “Lawyer”. All respectable career choices of course but I find a flaw lies in the sheer simplicity of these answers.

“Choose a box and grow within it. Boys must choose the blue box, and girls must choose the pink box.”

As children we are taught a lot of things... always wash your hands before dinner, say please and thank you, and the complexities of this subject look both ways before crossing would be lost on an infant but if we the road. But we are NOT can teach our children the fundamental taught how to look at skills such as how to tell the time, can’t we ourselves. Of course also teach them how to read themselves? young children Of course life is a journey, one that we continuhave young ally grow on (most of us anyway, not bullies, bullies are min d s losers) and we learn new things about what makes us tick a n d every day. That being said, I feel the quest to find who we are

would be an easier one if we had been taught to be ourselves from day one. In a society that spends a for tune on colour coding children is it any surprise we have so many unhappy individuals today? Growing up I was raised in a council area situated within West Belfast; I had

page 88 | gnimag.com

two brothers, a Mother and a Father (I still do luckily). I grew up in this area in the 90s, before Social Media had invaded our lives, or TV really for that matter. It was a treat to watch TV on a Saturday morning, and other than that we had to play in the street. This was normality for me therefore it was perfect. Every Saturday my Dad would take my younger brother and I into town (City Centre) he would do a few bets and then we would go to the pub – we drank Coke but my Dad drank the good stuff. Each outing finished with a trip to the infamous ‘Leisure World’, which at the time was the best toy shop in all of Belfast – everything great and fantastic was sold there but alas, it is no more. Anyway... on one par ticular occasion we were in a hurry and under strict instructions to choose something quickly. I don’t handle pressure very well – it makes me flustered and my hear t rate increases, I’m sure many of you can re-

late. However on this occasion I chose a typical boys’ toy – the selection must have been poor or else I had just turned a corner in my quest for creative genius. The toy I had chosen was a toy Cowboy Set, complete with a Hol-

s ter, Gu n , Badge, and a Hat. All was not lost, I had a plan. Once we arrived home my younger brother got straight to work with his Dinosaur Set or whatever he had chosen... I too

hear t that their children had to be free. Obviously there was the occasional push to get involved with football and the activities other boys were involved in, more so as a way of helping us to fit in, but our individual way of expression was never questioned or compromised. This in itself I refer to as being lucky, The but it should be the standard for all children and parents. road Today I feel no closer to understanding myself than many of of a true you I’m sure, but I know one thing is cer tain (apar t from individual will being gay – yes, I am gay… SHOCKER), I know that never be an easy without a free hear t and a free mind that no child one but it will be an or adult will find themselves on the road to conexciting journey for sure! tentment, because without insight into our Now, where did I leave that real passions and our true colours we wand? simply become everyone else, and

got to work! Later that evening my Dad came to check how I was enjoying my new Cowboy Set when he noticed I was not wearing nor playing with anything that belonged to the set… apar t from one thing that is... the badge, a.k.a. the star. At the toyshop I had come to the realisation that this purchase need not be a total waste of time, so focusing my attention on the badge, I decided I would push my creative skills to the limit and forge – out of some old materials that lay in the Coal Shed – a weapon of true imagination and sorcery. I attached the badge (star) on top of an old wooden mop shaft using some masking tape... I added a heavy sprinkling of glitter and then my work was complete. From a useless old Cowboy Set, I had created the very wand held by Glinda the Good Witch from the much-loved ‘The Wizard of Oz’. I they become us. Individuality is was, in a word, ‘delighted’ with what makes this world a brighter, less myself. scary place, so we must encourage and Despite my upbringing nur ture it. When I looked at the Cowboy Set being far from perfect that day I knew that it wasn’t for me but I knew or idyllic, my parhow to take something from it, something that with a ents always allittle imagination could feel a little more like me. lowed the A parent’s biggest job is to protect their child and to natuguide them, guide them to make the choices that will pave a life ral of happiness and security. A life of fulfilment does not come solely

“When I looked at the Cowboy Set that day I knew it wasn’t for me.”

“Not all who wander are aimless. Especially not those who seek truth beyond tradition; beyond definition, beyond the image. ”

Bliain fitzpatrick

from a secure job or a fancy house – admittedly these things help, but without a firm grasp of what stirs us from inside and what pushes us, we merely just drift and exist.

gnimag.com | page 89

CONLETH RECOMMENDS Hey GNI Readers, Hope you all had a great Christmas and you’re loving 2015 so far! I had a wonderful time at home. It was great to catch up with the GNI Team at the Christmas Party and receive the BEST EVER Secret Santa present from our very own Beth Evans. Thank you to all of you who came to my concert. If any of you are in London between now and March 14th, I will be starring in ‘Molly Wobbly’ at The Leicester Square Theatre in the West End. Would be great to see you! Conleth xxx

TO: in the rt LISTEN ge event to number bel Hea u e h R a is l a r ia got ight Madonn nna ma te hot s tra usic? I love it. I g w Mado la tes t offer ing s y ‘comin e e m m n r w s e a fo n w e e s It a ’s th liev a le . f e n 0 o b re n 0 f I k o o ad bu t in 20 e thin t Any for m calendar and M ar ly 90’s a t do w sic’ album back time, bu unds to the h /e s ’s w 0 it o 8 r S ic fo te . s u s t u la e a ‘M so m n e r re u d y e g th n iT a g on was nds a ak in e of h tool, ountr ies e releas usical pe k her ear ly s tuff r inging new tre s a mar keting th m r d e n h u 1 in 36 c a b it ro in h a r n her, e th e a io v I h h n s lig it re . n fo ia ay do ey w ed re into Ma . Many would s on one’s nos talg ue ar tis t, and is us jour n lways us a io r ug s lig -d a ti re h n tr l m d a p of Po ’s an er sona It n p ou t’ albu rgument is base in tha t she is a e . n e ’ m u w u o Q a lb her io a The er M r y ta aga been on r thir teenth s tud addresses ‘Moth ce or tha t tha nd time vil Pray’. e e a v e ‘D a h m is ti e r he es ien ea he ew she prov fir s t song we h even on v y R&B bea t. S ging from exper town’ e feel lik do this, a in areer, w e os s he c to h h T r is y a e ‘G p . e h d p le h ! n a t s b h a ta itar s thoug ughou age if is s till h u u g g ro e g n y h th s o simple b to s s d a d t n lt m a e nie cu d uses . Grea a h ll c a u and it se them, accompa e song. It’s dif fi b to e l WATCH h m her T na an :D r ma ter ur rent. away fro om r’ in th To Won VD: d ‘Lucife to fans using he nds ex tremely c t a million miles n a e com fr g Foo, T d it sou lyr ics, and it’s no ’ and ‘Illumina ti’ hing ou t n hank s F c a she a , p re -u or Ever any thing follow ward c Bitch r to ti y o l h e tf y e g tc h th fe lo a ig c in t o a n g Julie N Usually it is a l effor ts, ‘Unap if fere nd s tr ’s traditio ewmar pletely d nges t ever lyr ica from uc ture a her so famous. tr m s o nal for m c rd feel I ow a o o ch eo de ave e to revie e it of her s tr a’, sees a cam tha t ma d they h w someth to tell yo to the gay reade nn ar ly hits m of wr iter s an la t ter being one e o NA’, so d D in a g ‘M M u of an a r n s g e of GNI, a w or cur e tea , the ffer in itch I’m bsolu te G o m re ‘B a major it y fo s re 12 n wor k e . d 0 e n y b 2 t, s th th r n e h e sl o EM of a fi of her b s t ntrove ched o donna’s o is u a c is to M lm I wa tc ightly younger g wever, I ia th r d n e e v o id the top c us have seen ‘Pr ou t the em ck s e sa has e enera ti hed las iscill ult g into th red on two tra ny lis tener s hav I am excited ab in lv e d answer to gay films. Howe a Queen of the t week in London on, in a a ! e aga . T ve De pper. M ho appe this. My o Madg two fr ien r, li ttle did I k now ser t’, and it is o he Nick i Minaj, w is a fan of the ra to agree! Brav say I wa 9/03/15. d e s a s gr innin d n le e th a e s v re n su a e o n re h f g o g d m w g e a u s a fr ted I wa below m om ear to e alb clear ly M e. I would tch this a s an Amer ican y ra e res t of th nd I can g tim Leguizam dar? It really is b ar, from s tar t to n lo a h o in n es tly o (Moulin fin r illiant! It of the s tar s We ish. How did th R Queens release is slip sley Snip and their ouge) and the la e s te Pa tr ic a ti tle refe k Sway ze (Blade), John r s to a si dventurous road , as thre gned ph tr ip acro car r y wit eD o ss Amer tograph h th ica. The rag of Julie N ver y glam em on their jo SEE: THEATRE: e film’s w u mar tha r ney. Th ou t th e meet. O rous drag pagea Jesus Christ Superstar - Grand Opera nt where s tor y k ick s off w e tr io nce they ith a the three hit the ro until they House, Belfast 16th Feb - 28th Feb 2015 charac te ad, it’s a are s top rs ll fun an ped by a mophob d ne games ic Sher r if f Dollard x tremely racis t, (Sway ze We all know I love a musical. Well, this is where it all howho hass ), (comp letely un les Vida sion tha t star ted for me. My first ever time on stage was in ‘Jesus der the he is a w impresoman). O this is no Christ Superstar’ back in 1993 at the Por tadown Town Hall. The nce t th the three e case, all hell bre he realises musical first burst onto the scene back in 1971, changing the face of ak s dra end up fi g queens dr ive fo loose and Musical Theatre forever. Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice tell par t of nding sa lva tion a r their lives and Snyder sv the story of Jesus and his rise to fame and recognition accompanied by one of the nd u ille. The Drag Qu nlikely fr iends in and win best rock scores of all time. I will never forget my first night on stage back in 1993, and eens ope the n the min when my parents dropped me to the theatre, there were lots of people standing outwe see so hear ts of ever y d s one in th m ev side protesting, saying that the production was blasphemous and wrong. I never quite vincial to e epic per for ma nces from illage and wn, espe cially from the wom understood this as I always thought the show was very accurate to the bible stories and R iz zo fro en in th Stoc mG e proonly ever had the ability to promote religion, not chastise it. Needless to say, the show fancy a fe rease). If you’re kard Channing (T h el-good he Lege movie, th aving a night in went ahead, and I firmly believe this musical played a huge par t in my love for theatre, this week ndar y is is one end and to wa tch so if you haven’t seen it before, go! Overflowing with epic hits like ‘Gethsemane’, ‘Ev! erything’s Alright’, and ‘I Don’t know How to Love Him’, I guarantee you will leave the theatre singing the songs! Starring ex-X Factor finalists ‘Rydian Rober ts’ and ‘Rachel Adedeji’.

page 90 | gnimag.com

JORDAN & DIONA

“C’mere, here what do you call a Protestant flying a plane? A PILOT, YOU BIGOT! GEG!” Despite the whole ‘Our Time Our Place’, MTV AWARDS and one of Snow Patrol banging Courtney Cox it seems Northern Ireland still isn’t over our past. The latest BBC NI comedy ‘Number 2’s’ is a Stormont set sitcom from the team that brought you ‘Give My Head Peace’ which is one of the most successful touring shows in the country. History sells here, big time. We spent three years running a comedy show which deliberately stayed away from any sor t sectarian comedy, our biggest hit ‘Nordie Shore’ had no Prod/Catholic banter at all. But it didn’t stop people trying to guess each character’s religion in the YouTube comments (Beanzy was a Methodist by the way). Check out the most watched BBC NI shows and you’ll find that ‘Troubles’ documentaries and shout fests like The Nolan Show are top rated. We just can’t get enough of it. Having an Irish woman, English man and an Ulster Scot in the team we thought writing a play about something as controversial as Irish history would at least get us on UTV Life for a death threat and give history a different twist. So with all this in mind we’ve decided to do something different, something fresh, to finally put our troubles behind us and show the world the TRUTH about Irish history. Ladies and gentleman may I present…800 Years Of Annoying The English! Fresh from a sell out run at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, we have road tested this baby and we’re ready to unleash it on the NI public. Across six dates we’ll be bringing the strange truth about our past to nearly every corner of NI and even internationally to Muff. Because we’ve heard Muff is lovely. GEG! The show sees our disgraced historian Professor Fitznipple present his controversial new book ‘800 Years Of Annoying the English’ to the world. He will take you on a journey that sees St Patrick use his consultancy skills to conver t Ireland, Queen Elizabeth rap on why she hates men, Oscar Wilde on ‘Boys Gone Wilde’, discover why Oliver Cromwell hated Ireland, why Queen Victoria didn’t give a shit and what par t Jedward played in the troubles….

It’s an hour long surreal, musical rollercoaster of a show which will change the way you look at our history forever. It’s time to seek the truth people, it’s time to find out why we’ve spent ‘800 Years Annoying The English’! Dates; Fri 6th March The Hub, Cookstown 028 86763398 Sat 7th March Bardic Theatre Donaghmore 028 87 761859 Sun 8TH March St Mary’s Community Hall Muff 00 353 749384024 Thurs March 12th The Barge, Belfast 02890 232555 Fri March 13th E2A Ar ts Centre, Banbridge 02840669900 Sat March 14th Community House, Omagh 028 82242040 gnimag.com | page 91

ADVERT ????

Issu

! w o n s p o h s n i e e r h t e

19 one times we caved and got chippy for lunch

368 NUMB3RS life in the gni office

17 twenty

times B eth has complained abou t t h e co ld in t h e of f i ce # c hilbl ain s

since we saw you last

2 3 65 47 number of times Fred’s fallen in love

b o t t l e s of p r o s e cco co n s u m e d

179

n u m b e r o f t i m e s To n y h a s c h a n g e d hi s Gr i n d r p h o t o

how many self ies (collectively) we’ve taken in the off ice

s taff we’ve gone through

4 13 three 900 Friday afternoon drinking sessions in t h e of f i ce

year s of age bet ween Fred and his beau

p ar king tickets received

times Eamann has been kicked out of the house

lis tens of the new Take Tha t album

number of times Tony has moved the desk s around in the of f ice

mil e s t ra v e ll e d d e live r ing GNI ma g a c ro s s the co untr y

p eople didn’t tur n up to the Chr is tmas dinner (you know w ho you are)

office bant random quotes from the office

me” “i t bothers se to on Beth’s resp g the line Tony singin ver Ne ‘The Cold Me Anyd re e Both Frozen. way’ from

“when you’re buying a luxury item”- Fred giving financial advice to a friend on the phone.

“the ga yes t thin g in this o ff ice is y our cardiga n” - Ton y’s opinion on Fred ’s at t ire.

pounds we’ve pu t on since Chris tmas

TOP TEN s b o j w o l b Welcome to GNI’s Top Ten. In every issue we will rate the ten things we deem too important to ignore. This time, it’s blow jobs. Enjoy!

TEN

BLOWING UP THE CAR TYRES

So much to think about! Pressure? Temperature? Valves? Guages? Screw it, I’ll just get a new car.

NINE

BLOWING SMOKE UP YOUR BOSS’S ARSE

We’ve all done it. We might not be proud of it, but we’ve all done it.

EIGHT

BLOWDRYING YOUR HAIR

Because nobody likes wet hair, and everyone likes a voluminous do.

SEVEN

BLOWING YOUR OWN TRUMPET

Every once in a while this is necessary, if only to remind people how awesome you are.

SIX

BLOWING UP BALLOONS

This is an exhausting, thankless task… but on the plus side, it usually means there’s a par ty on the horizon.

FIVE

BLOWING OUT THE CANDLES

This beats blowing up balloons because it means it’s your bir thday, and therefore you are the centre of attention. Oh, and you’re about to devour some cake.

FOUR

BLOWING AN EYELASH OFF YOUR FINGER AND MAKING A WISH Everyone needs a bit of magic in their life… TOP TIP: Make your wish bland and realistic to increase the chances of it coming true, eg. ‘I wish Kim Kardashian would post another selfie.’

THREE

BLOWING ON YOUR SOUP TO COOL IT DOWN

This usually means that a) it’s cold outside and you’re sitting indoors, curled up, cradling a bowl of hot soup, and b) you’re about to eat some soup. WIN.

TWO

BLOWING UP A ‘FRIEND’

Giving life to a faithful, inanimate bedfellow is a beautiful thing.

ONE

BLOWING BUBBLES

“I’m forever blowing bubbles, pretty bubbles in the air!” Words cannot successfully describe the excitement we feel when we spot those see-through soapy balls.

’S D N A L IRE EST BIGG NA SAU

get off yer hole and get out!

T’ A H

GUID

c i a r C e h t s ’ what

. W

NOTE: AS WE CAN’T BE RESPONSIBLE FOR LAST MINUTE CHANGES TO LISTINGS, YOU SHOULD CHECK THE ACCURACY OF ALL OF THESE EVENTS YOURSELF WITH INDIVIDUAL VENUES BEFORE PLANNING YOUR BIG NIGHT OUT.

n i l b u D .

out in..

Monday

The Front Lounge – 2 for 1 cocktails Pantibar – Joystick, DJ Dr Beat plays quality 80s music 4 Dame Lane – PrHomo (The Second Coming)

The George – Win, Lose or Drag with Phil T. Gorgeous and Bunny from 9pm, Admission free all night with drinks promos galore! Pantibar – Pints and chats

Friday

Tuesday

The George – Glitterbomb with DJs Ger and Mo, hosted by David D-Pole and his Glitterati Dancers, Drinks promos, Free shots, Admission free before 10pm, €5 from 10 til midnight, €18 after The Front Lounge – DJ Conor Behan playing dance floor fillers from 10pm Pantibar – DJ Steobear and Our Perfectly Preposterous Drinks Specials The Hub – SweatBox

The George – Bassline with DJ Karen, Admission free The Front Lounge – Davina Devine’s Casting Couch, Karaoke from 10pm Pantibar – Pints and chats

Wednesday

The George – Space N’ Veda with Veda Beaux Reves and gorgeous guests Cabaret, Drag, Video Ar t & Live Music Pantibar – Pints and Chats

Saturday

The George – SaturGays with DJ Sean John, Davina, Veda & guests with Beauty Spot Karaoke from 10pm The Front Lounge – Brunch from 12pm, DJ Terry from 10pm

Thursday

The George – Davina Devine hosts Thursty Thursdays with the 11 o’clock show (ish)

Capel Street

Aaran Quay

8 4

3 G C

A 5

Exchequer Street

Bride Street

6 F E Golden Lane

Sunday

The George – Bingo with Shirley Temple Bar, from 9.30pm, Admission free until before 10pm, €5 after The Front Lounge – Brunch from 12pm Pantibar – Sunday Shenanigans

Regular Nights

Pop Rox Indie Night @ The Dive Bar (Turk’s Head) – For tnightly Saturdays Crush Girlclub @ Lafayette Club – Check Facebook page for events

DUBLIN VENUES 1 - Panti Bar 2 - Nealons 3 - The Front Lounge 4 - Copper Alley 5 - The George 6 - The Dragon 7 - Lafayette Club 8 - The Hub 9 - The Boilerhouse

Wellington Quay Aston Quay Temple Bar Essex Street

George Street

Essex Quay

Pantibar – The Panti Show from 10pm. Cruisin’, Music, Dancin’, Chattin’ Copper Alley – Mother, the home of synth pop and electro Break for the Boarder – Meat Street with international guest hosts, DJs and live acts, from 10pm

LANDMARKS A - Parliament Square B - Temple Bar C - Dublin Castle D - The Needle E - Gaiety Theatre F - Grafton Street G - Olympia Theatre

t s a f l Be .

out in..

As always, there’s loads to do in Belfast all week long. Stop bein an antisocial so-andso… go party!

Monday

Union Street (Belfast) – The Trudy Show Maverick (Belfast) – Motor Mouth Mondays Comedy Night with Gemma Hutton, Doors 9.30pm, Admission free Sunf lower (Belfast) – Open Mic Nights, 7pm, Free bottle of beer for every per former Central Bar (Strabane) – BOGOF (Buy One Get One Free) Mondays The Pipeworks Gay Mens Leisure Complex (Belfast) - KJB Massage 2pm - 5pm

Tuesday

Kremlin (Belfast) – Klub 180, All drinks £1.80 all night, 10pm-2.30am Union Street (Belfast) – Grannie’s Fun Factory 9pm, All drinks £2 Maverick (Belfast) – Contdown weekly quiz with the one and only Contessa Maximillion Von Tramp and DJ Ryan, 9.30pm, Admission free Sunf lower (Belfast) – The Dandy Horses Unplugged, 7.30pm Boombox (Belfast) – Hoochie Tuesdays with KKRU DJZ, All drinks £2 Central Bar (Strabane) – Triple Tuesday, Any 3 drinks £5, Pitchers (3 pints Coors/Carling) £7 The Pipeworks Gay Mens Leisure Complex (Belfast) - now open until 4am

Wednesday

Union Street (Belfast) – Tina’s Stop the Clock Maverick (Belfast) – Open Mic Wednesdays hosted by Cherrie On Top from 9pm, Acoustic and Spoken Word Acts Welcome! Complimentary Drink for all Per formers, admission free Boombox (Belfast) – Bitch Please! Midweek

Scream with Roxy Tumbledryer, Rusty Hinges, DJ Kenny and Special Guests, 10pm-3am, Drinks £2.50, Bombs £1.50, Admission £5 Central Bar (Strabane) – Big Gay Wednesday with DJ Ricardo, All drinks £1, Admission £3 The Pipeworks Gay Mens Leisure Complex (Belfast) - now open until 4am

Thursday

Kremlin (Belfast) – Deuce £2 entry £2 drinks Union Street (Belfast) – Okie Dokie Karaoke hosted by Trudy Scrumptious and Rober t Brown Maverick (Belfast) – T’N’T Thursdays with Rusty Hinges and Roxy Tumbledryer, from 9.30pm, admission free Boombox (Belfast) – ULTRAVAMP, alternative weekly student night with Electra La Cnt, weekly themed par ties and per formances 10pm-3am, all drinks £2.50, bombs £1.50, admission £5/ guestlist £3 Sunf lower (Belfast) – Manouche Gypsy Swing 5.30pm, Sunf lower Folk Club 8pm Central Bar (Strabane) – All drinks £2, Pitchers (3 pints Coors/ Carling) £7 The Pipeworks Gay Mens Leisure Complex (Belfast) - now open until 4am

Friday

Kremlin (Belfast) – Karnival Weekly Theme Nights, open until 3am Union Street (Belfast) – The Friday Set Acoustic Sessions with Ash Smith 5pm – 7pm, An evening with Glitzy Glamour from 9pm Maverick (Belfast) – VAGABOND with DJ Marion Hawkes from 9pm Boombox (Belfast) – DOWNTOWN with DJ Jordan, all drinks £2.50 before Midnight, 10pm-3am, admission free before 11pm, £5 before 1am, £7 after Sunf lower (Belfast) – Boxing Hare Wood Fired Pizza 5pm – 11pm in the Sunf lower Gar-

den, Traditional Session 8pm Central Bar (Strabane) – Central Fridays, Chance to win £50 bar tab The Pipeworks Gay Mens Leisure Complex (Belfast) - KJB Massage 2pm - 5pm

Saturday

Kremlin (Belfast) – Revolution, 9pm-3am Union Street (Belfast) – Tina’s Trannyoke 5pm-8pm, Grannie’s Time Tunnel 9pm-late Maverick (Belfast) – HIJINKS with Lady Por tia Di’Monte from 6pm Boombox (Belfast) – DJ Ciaran Boylan and Host Sassie Longshaft, 10pm-3am, admission £3 before 11pm, £6 before 1am, £8 after. Sunf lower (Belfast) – Boxing Hare Wood Fired Pizza 5pm – 11pm in the Sunf lower Garden, Appalachian Session 8pm Central Bar (Strabane) – Saturday Beats with DJ Ricardo

Sunday

Kremlin (Belfast) – Industry 10pm, Admission free Union Street (Belfast) – The Sunday Bingo Show 8.30pm Maverick (Belfast) – The R&R with Rusty and Roxy 5pm, Admission free Boombox (Belfast) – Full Circle, Upfront House with DJ Stuar t Millar and Host Sassie Longshaft, drinks £2.50, Admission free Sunf lower (Belfast) – Traditional Session 7pm Central Bar (Strabane) – Sundays at The Central The Pipeworks Gay Mens Leisure Complex (Belfast) - Hard Up Sundays - free buffet and concessions and under 26 year olds.

Regular Nights

Passion @ Bellinis (Newry) – First Saturday of every month Hotel Motel Residency @ Boombox – Last Friday of every month Fuzzbox @ Boombox – Third Friday of every month (men only) Room Ser vice @ Boombox – Bi-monthly Mondays 6.30-7.30pm: Free Spanish Classes @ The Sunf lower (Contact The Sunf lower on 028 9023 2474) The Pipeworks Gay Mens Leisure Complex (Belfast) - First Friday of each month - Bubu afterpar ty.

Rewind @ Kremlin – First Friday of every month BUBU @ The Shoe Factory – First Friday of every month (men only) MOTN @ Queens Café Bar – Last Friday of every month (men only) The White Mansions @ The Sunf lower – First Friday of every month Pub Quiz @ The Sunf lower – First Tuesday of every month Duke Special’s Gramophone Club @ Sunf lower – Last Friday of every month

Specials

Saturday 14th February: Andrea Faustini @ Kremlin

BELFAST

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St re Hi gh

Royal Avenue

Westlink A12

Castle Street

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Bridge End

Victoria Street

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W ar

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B126

Middlepath Street

Chichester Street

C G

A20 Alber tbridge Road

F 7

Cromac Street

Great Victoria Street

May Street

VENUES 1 - Union Street Bar 2 - Kremlin 3 - Maverick 4 - Sunflower Bar 5 - Kellys Cellars 6 - Queens Cafe Bar 7 - Laverys 8 - El Divino 9 - Boombox 10 - The Pipeworks 11 - Whites Tavern LANDMARKS A - Grand Opera House B - The MAC C - City Hall D - The Fish E - Odyssey F - Ulster Hall G - The Waterfront H - The Cour ts