where

crazy outfits and get loud and wasted. Some straight women would come in and act out, sort of let their worst selves out because it was OK and they were in a “safe space.” Gay bars are historically meant to be a safe space and a place where you can be yourself, but if you’re using that as just a pass to go wild and be disrespectful to the community, then that’s not cool. It’s almost like an appropriation of our culture. And then, of course, straight men go where the straight women are, and the bar is no longer full of gay people.

Why do we still need gay bars?

› As much as I want to say that things have changed so much in the last few decades, they have and they haven’t. Not everyone is actually accepted everywhere. A gay bar is kind of the first place you go after coming out where you can walk in and see a bunch of people who are like you. You don’t have to hide. You can just be yourself. People can be coming out at any stage of their lives— maybe you’re 40. No matter what, you can walk in and feel safe. When I was younger, there was no such thing as bisexual. Now, there’s gay, bi, trans— we’re recognizing the spectrum of sexuality. The name “Or” is French for gold—the space was previously the Gold Coast—but also there are a lot more “ors” in the LGBTQ community, and it’s a nod to that.

What has surprised you since opening?

› The previous space was the diviest of dive bars. It hadn’t been well maintained, and there were about 45 years of, let’s call it “patina.” We put a lot into the new place with the decor and turning it into an upscale spot. That also meant we couldn’t charge $3 for drinks, and we weren’t sure how people would react. Of course, some people weren’t happy, but I was pleasantly surprised by how many people came in and immediately loved it. The mix of patrons has been a huge range too. But one thing I kept seeing was couples coming in who had met there and been together for the last 15 or 25 years. I love that and hope that trend continues. Of course, if you happen to meet on Grindr first, that’s fine too.