SURVIVING TO THRIVING - How Astrology Helped Me Navigate Through Trauma

By Rozanne Kay

Have you ever paused to contemplate the brilliance of yourself as an individual? Or pondered the complexity of humanity and the multifaceted interactions between us? Have you ever stopped to congratulate yourself on your resilience? Trauma can make us resentful and defensive. Alternatively, we can choose to work with our pain to open our hearts to greater love, joy, and wisdom.

As an Evolutionary Astrologer I include past lives - contemplating past life stories is helpful in healing; it connects us with the more mythic part of our psyche. Multiple varieties of struggle, trauma, chaos, pain, and loss as well as untold amounts of joy, knowledge and love - the resilience of the soul is immeasurable; with all this experience it’s clear that the soul has wisdom beyond intellect.

I have suffered more trauma in recent years than I thought possible to survive. I didn’t realize it at the time, but my soul had prepared me for it. Primarily, a few years before the waves of chaos descended, life introduced me to an Astrologer. Life put me in touch with healers; life encouraged me to be a seeker of spirituality, faith, and philosophy. Life taught me the beautiful - sometimes merry, sometimes sombre – dance between fate and free will.

Dr Glenn Doyle, psychologist, recently tweeted “The best minds in mental health aren’t the docs. They’re the trauma survivors who’ve had to figure out how to stay alive with virtually no help. Wanna learn how to survive under unfathomable stress? Talk to abuse survivors.” One evening after I couldn’t take the stress of abuse any longer, I went to A&E; the reality-bending gaslighting I had suffered had broken my mind, and I thought I’d gone crazy. I spoke with an amazing nurse; she listened to me, she asked me about my situation, my lifestyle, and how I managed stress; she asked me about my beliefs, thoughts and feelings and she responded with, “you know how to heal, I don’t think you need hospitalizing, you need faith in yourself.”

Those few hours were transformative. Her reassurance that my survival responses were perfectly normal considering the amount of stress I was under helped me greatly. She had held the emotional space enough for me to gain clarity - I felt strong enough to go home. Following this day, I suffered another three years of abuse.

I would like to offer an alternative perspective on trauma and those aspects of life that leaves our heads spinning and wondering, “What just happened?” I would like to offer a perspective that supports the empowerment of those who have been victims. That perspective is moving away from questioning “Why is this happening to me?” towards “How is this here to help me?” This simple switch in perception can help us to wholeheartedly embrace life.

When traumatic events occur it’s so easy to get stuck in the mind; focusing on our losses, injustice, blame, trying to figure it out, trying to find a solution - to regain a sense of peace. When our minds are in that space, we’re so focused on our loss that the ability to consider what we may gain as a result of our experience goes astray. Our perspective narrows. When we’re traumatized, equilibrium and objectivity go out of the window. Anger might rise within us. We’re taught that anger is wrong, so we push it down, deep down where it turns in on itself and begins to attack us from the inside, bringing on depression and anxiety; often creating more difficulty in our lives.

Eventually, we surrender – one way or another. Sometimes we surrender when our bodies say “no”, becoming sick with the trapped emotions held within it. Sometimes we surrender when we can’t take the pain of carrying the struggle anymore. Surrender is where the sweet spot is – completely letting go and allowing our emotions to overwhelm us, to be released, to set us free.

Three years after my visit to the hospital I finally surrendered. My abuser, offended by my existence, had gathered an army of flying monkeys. People I’d known 20 years had turned their backs on me and believed the lies of a stranger. Throughout lockdown, I received frequent hate mail, bullying and abuse. I had no escape. I surrendered. I stopped trying to justify my right to exist. I stopped trying to defend myself against the web of lies. I let go of all the bitterness, anger, and resentment from the years of abuse and I resigned myself to giving them what they wanted. I resigned myself to giving up everything I loved and moving to another part of the country just to survive - I feared that they wouldn’t stop until I was dead.

That moment of surrender felt like dropping a heavy bag of weights – that’s when the help came, seemingly out of nowhere. I was referred to victim support, I was recommended a solicitor who, through their intervention, has provided safety for me to begin to rebuild my life and to live again with love and joy in my heart. 

VIEWING IT ALL ASTROLOGICALLY

 In 2017 I visited my Astrologer to discuss the planetary interactions in my chart. Being well-schooled in the language of astrology I was aware of a particularly transformative energy at play. Transformation is often brought about as a result of painful experiences. I asked him, “How am I going to survive this?” his response was, “View it astrologically.”

That is what I committed to doing. Every event that occurred I consulted the charts for deeper understanding – what is this experience here to teach me? Each time I looked at the chart my perspective widened to see that there was something I was being given the opportunity to learn. I was able to understand that everything that was happening would help me to grow, expand, and become more authentic and more in alignment with soul wisdom.

Soon after this astrology session, open-hearted and somewhat naïve I let my abuser in my life and welcomed them into my inner circle, confided in them with trust. In my naivety, I hadn’t seen that the trust was merely information gathering and I had become a target. It began with bullying, gaslighting and double binds. Life began to resemble living inside an Escher painting where the normal rules of life no longer exist.

A few years later – as Uranus and Mars connected with a critical part of my chart – I was with my partner who had gone to check on his sick friend. With no response and a feeling that something wasn’t right the police were called, the door knocked down – he had died unexpectedly in the night. We sat with his body in a state of complete shock. My abuser took this as an opportunity to really amp up

Uranus and Mars together can bring violent shock; transiting exactly opposite my ascendant indicates that the shock is experienced through relationship. Transiting planets to our birth charts can bring about fated events. It is our free will to choose whether to understand what these events are teaching us and how they are helping us to grow. I can’t ever know why this person had to die so young, but fate conspired to involve me in his death; my abuser conspired to use his death as an opportunity to begin their full assault. I don’t wish to create fear, so I must stress that not all such transits will create this situation; my experience was a result of the complex interactions of transiting planets alongside the interactions of the energies of the people involved.

I chose to understand my experience from a spiritual perspective. I understood that Uranus not only destroys what it touches but also provides us with the opportunity to upgrade – in my case, Venus. Venus represents, along with relationships, what we consider to be valuable, not only our material wellbeing but our values in general. My values have expanded to include healthy boundaries alongside compassion. Importantly, I learned to value and have compassion for myself enough to fully heal from the trauma. Life is so much more fulfilling and empowering when viewed through the lens of an open heart.

The experience has not only been a profound lesson in forgiveness but also the awakening of a part of me that desperately wanted expression - the part of me that is an Astrologer and a Healer. Before my years of tribulations and chaos, I was living a relatively quiet life. ‘Shy and retiring’ is a good description of me back then, I was painfully shy. If anyone had told me a few years ago that my written work and photographs of me were going to be published in a magazine I’d have laughed them out of the room.

Through understanding the astrology of these experiences, I became aware of how little I valued myself before. I was a people pleaser; afraid of judgment, feeling not good enough, afraid of upsetting or hurting anyone, afraid of conflict, afraid of standing out from the crowd, and afraid of publicly sharing my skills and knowledge. So, in between the traumatic events and chaos that sought me out, I kept my head down and out of the limelight.

My abuser was targeting my deepest, unconscious fears; energetically hooking into my own deeply held negative beliefs about myself and bringing them into conscious awareness. They were my fears, I owned them. With each attack, I witnessed the emotions that surfaced. Through astrology I gained an understanding of where these fears and beliefs originated; both in this life and past lives. Each time I did that, it removed a hook for the abuser to target. In this sense, my abuser gave me the wonderful gift of greater self-knowledge and as a result, self-empowerment.

Prior to my abuse, it was my own self-judgment keeping me in a shy and retiring existence, afraid to raise my head above the parapet. I feared rejection and ridicule from the

people I called friends. I denied myself to fit in, I’d rejected myself so that I could be liked by people who would not only believe but contribute to abuse and smear campaigns. My abuser stripped away all the people, places and things that were preventing me from living my best life and making my best contribution in life and I was left with only the authentic friendships.

Understanding astrology means understanding the dance between fate and free will. Prior to being a victim of abuse, I was using my free will to ignore and suppress such a huge part of who I was. I rejected, betrayed, and abandoned myself. I gaslighted and abused myself. All because of an unwillingness to look at my own fears – my abuser showed them to me.

I will never keep myself small to please others again, no more hiding away living a ‘quiet life’ avoiding my truth – I am devoted to my craft; I am dedicated to helping people improve their lives, using the same tools that helped me. As Pluto (God of the underworld) meets my natal South Node, I meet the death of my old self - the quiet, shy, martyr to be reborn into its opposite North Node in Leo; the proud, visible, empowered person that I am becoming.

Rozanne Kay is an Astrologer & Life Coach. She helps people become empowered through greater self-knowledge. She uses a variety of techniques to help clients integrate their experience, remove blocks, fears and limiting beliefs and begin to create the life they want. She is trained in Hypnosis, Neuro-Linguistic Programming and Emotional Freedom Technique and is a Reiki Master/Teacher. You can enquire about her work at info@rozannekaycoaching.com n

Portrait photography by Alison McMath - alisonmcmath.co.uk

BIRKENHEAD

By Sarah Ridgway

Birkenhead sits on the River Mersey opposite Liverpool and is in the metropolitan borough of Wirral. The area began as a hamlet with only 106 inhabitants until 1810 and only began to expand with the arrival of a shipyard in 1824 opened by William Laird. By 1847 the first set of docks had been built enabling Birkenhead to trade and became the largest milling centre in Europe.

In 1847 Birkenhead Park the first publicly funded park in the UK opened in the town. The park was designed by Joseph Paxto and is a muchloved landmark known as the People’s Garden. Paxto wanted to create a place that replicated the countryside, and the park is filled with bridges, and a boathouse to create a tranquil place of beauty. It is also home to a variety of wildlife including Canadian geese and bats.

On 30 September 1860, the first street tram in the UK began operation in Birkenhead. The short route operated from Woodside Ferry to Birkenhead Park, with the concept quickly spreading across the country and into Europe. It was initially a sixmonth trial but would operate for 77 years. The trams were originally horse-drawn until the 1900s when they switched to electricity.

The Wirral Heritage Tramway is giving people the chance to experience history for themselves and has resumed the vintage tram route between Taylor Street and Wirral Transport Museum.

The Williamson Art Gallery opened in 1928 with funding from the Birkenhead Council and philanthropist John Williamson and his son Patrick. The gallery is free to visit and houses artworks, ceramics, sculptures, and maritime history. The gallery is also home to the largest public collection of Della Robbia pottery in the UK.

Birkenhead Priory Photo Credit: Philip Brookes - Shutterstock.com

The Della Robbia factory was opened by Harold Rathbone and Conrad Gustave Dressler after Rathbone was inspired after a trip to Florence. Here Rathbone saw Luca Robbia’s designs from the 15th and 16th centuries whose designs were known for their bright colours and opened a factory that began to replicate them. Due to its short production span of just twelve years the pottery is in high demand and even damaged pieces are known to sell.

 THE BIRKENHEAD PRIORY AND ST MARY’S TOWER

The Priory is 870 years old and the oldest building standing on Merseyside offering a peaceful haven amid the hustle and bustle. The Priory was founded in 1150 for Benedictine monks by Hamon de Massey, the third Baron of Dunham Massey. Here the monks welcomed travellers to the monastery for nearly 400 years. Edward II granted the monks’ ferry rights allowing them to construct a house which they used to offer shelter to travellers when the weather was too bad for ferry crossings. Today the Priory is a designated Grade I listed building and is protected as a Scheduled Ancient Monument. In 1318, Chapter House which is a part of the Priory is owned by the Church of England and is a working chapel serving the local community. St Mary’s tower is all that remains of the first parish church in Birkenhead which was built in 1821 and demolished in the 1970s. Visitors can climb the tower’s 101 steps to be rewarded with impressive views of the River Mersey and the surrounding area. The tower also serves as a memorial to the victims of the HMS Thetis submarine disaster.

On June 1, 1939, HMS Thetis took a test run around the waters of Liverpool Bay; the submarine was carrying 103 men which was twice the capacity it had been built for. Most onboard were sailors while the rest were engineers from the Cammel-Laird shipyard and others invited to experience an exciting opportunity.

Thetis’s first attempt to dive was unsuccessful due to being too light. Lieutenant Fredrick Woods decided to allow seawater into the torpedo tubes to add weight. Unfortunately, Woods was unaware the outer torpedo doors were open and the tubes were filled with seawater. One of the tubes also could not be opened due to a dried patch of enamel paint, when the crew tried to open it manually, the enormous pressure began to flood the front part of the vessel which sunk it to the seabed 160 feet below. Four men including Lieutenant Frederick Woods managed to escape through an escape chamber and after they tried to form a rescue plan for the remaining crew.

Many options were considered including pumping the water out and raising the stern as much as they could to enable an escape route closer to the surface. Working through the night the crew managed to pump tons of water out of the vessel, and by the morning the submarine had risen to about 35 degrees meaning the stern was now above sea level. Tragically the rear escape chamber hatch was still 20 feet below and the plan could not be implemented. 99 men lost their lives from drowning or carbon dioxide suffocation. The disaster occurred just 40 miles from where it was built in the Cammell-Laird shipyard.

Shipbuilding has been a large part of the town’s economy since the 19th century, and Cammell Laird is the town’s most known shipyard. The company began as John Laird, Son & Co shipyard and gained its reputation due to its advancements made in iron ship construction. The company was founded by William Laird who established the Birkenhead Iron Works in 1824. William was joined by his son John in 1828, and the company ventured into constructing vessels using iron. John took over the company in 1841 after the death of his father and was joined by his three sons prompting a name change to John Laird, Sons & Co.

By 1860 their vessels were well-known for being structurally sound and admired for using innovative technology. Using iron was not common during the 1830s and 1840s but the risk propelled the company to leader in the British shipbuilding industry. In 1903 the company merged with Sheffield Johnson Camell & Co who produced iron and metal for the railways to become Cammell Laird. The newly formed company produced vehicles for the London Underground and innovated a design, so the doors were operated by compressed air in 1919. In 1927 they had an order from India to produce 160 passenger coaches and over 1,100 vessels were crafted between the period 1829 and 1947. Some of their notable builds include HMS Caroline which holds the record for having the fastest build time, the warship was constructed in just nine months, and HMS Ark Royal which was the largest Royal Navy ship at that time. The company also built submarines and played a key role in World War Two,

In 1977 alongside the rest of the shipping industry in the UK, the company was nationalised. In 1984 the company made up to 1000 redundancies which led to protests, and 37 workers were arrested and sacked as a result. In 1993 Cammell Laird announced the shipyard was to close. In 2007 Northwestern Shiprepairers & Shipbuilders acquired the rights to the Cammell Laird name because it was a world-renowned brand with trust and assurance. The company went on to win multi-million-pound contracts offering a boost to the local economy and providing job security.

Shipyard crane, Cammell Laird docks, Birkenhead. Merseyside ship building company. Photo Credit: Philip Brookes - Shutterstock.com

During the 19th Century, Birkenhead grew and expanded from a small town into a major maritime location. Birkenhead Market opened in July 1835 and was originally built on the site where the existing Town Hall stands. The land was donated by Francis Price and was built for £4,400. A few years later the town’s population had grown from 2,569, and by 1841 reached 8,223 outgrowing the smaller venue. The “Old Market”, the larger site, opened on 11th July 1845 and was then Europe’s second-largest market. Fox, Henderson & Co constructed the Market and were responsible for building many important structures and built the Crystal Palace in 1851. Micheal Marks of M&S opened one of his first “Penny Bazaars” in 1901 at Birkenhead market. Despite the structures being fireproof the market caught fire in 1969 and again in 1974, this resulted in the market being moved to new premises in 1977 alongside the Grange Shopping Centre. Today the town is home to a modern indoor and traditional outdoor market with stallholders who have been there trading for years.

BIRKENHEAD’S FINEST: PAUL O’GRADY

Paul O’Grady was born in Birkenhead in 1955 and has many talents including comedian, presenter, actor, radio host and producer. Born to working-class Irish migrants, his father Paddy Grady was from Ballincurry, and his mother Molly Savage was born in England to parents from County Louth. His father moved to England in 1936 and upon joining the RAF, there was a paperwork error of a name change from Grady to O’Grady, one which he decided to keep. Paul was the youngest of three with a sister and a brother and recalls a happy childhood full of love and affection. Paul kept busy as a child, he was a cub scout, a Marine cadet, a member of the local boxing club, and an altar boy at the local Catholic church where he was removed after laughing during a funeral.

Paul left school at sixteen and got a job in the civil service as a clerical assistant in Liverpool, which he commuted to from Birkenhead. Due to lateness O’Grady lost the job and aged seventeen he moved to Surrey to work in a hotel but moved back to Birkenhead shortly after. The teenager immersed himself into the Liverpool gay scene and worked at the gay bar the “Bear’s Paw”, although his parents were not aware of his sexuality at this time.

O’Grady has a brief encounter with his friend Diane Jansen who became pregnant as a result. This news was revealed the same week both his parents suffered heart attacks; his father sadly died. In May 1974, Sharon Lee Jenson was born, and Paul agreed to financially support his daughter but did not wish to marry Diane. After a few lower-paid jobs Paul decided to move to London to earn more money to better support his daughter. O’Grady worked menial jobs such as a waiter, cleaner and barman, before taking a role as a care officer with elderly people and dysfunctional families at Camden Council.

At the same time, O’Grady was creating a drag act, and on 7 October 1978, he debuted with Lily Savage who was inspired by the many women in his childhood.

After a brief stint working as a barman in a brothel in the Philippines, O’Grady returned to London and things started to look up. O’Grady performed in a variety of drag acts and in 1983 he undertook an acting role at the Donmar warehouse. His drag double act with his friend Vera “The Playgirls” began receiving bookings across London and Lily Savage was resurrected.

He quit his job to focus full time on Lily, and the act took him across the country and abroad. He then proceeded to the Edinburgh festival, which resulted in sell-out shows and television appearances that brought mainstream success in the acting and presenting field.

In 2000 O’Grady decided to hang up Lily’s sequins and pitched a travelogue series to ITV where he would travel to East and Southeast Asia. The tabloid reviews were weak but were popular with the viewers and were renewed for a second series.

O’Grady has achieved huge success in the entertainment industry winning many awards and was awarded an MBE in 2008.

The entertainer is also an advocate for the LBGTQ community and a famous animal lover. He is an ambassador for the Battersea Dogs and Cats Home and lives at his farmhouse in rural Kent with his dogs, animals, and husband Andre Portasio.