MENOPAUSE MANAGEMENT HOW TO BUILD YOUR MENOPAUSE TOOLKIT

MENOPAUSE

HOW TO BUILD YOUR

- BY PSYCHOTHERAPIST, NOEL MCDERMOTT -

Menopause can be an emotional rollercoaster for many women, with hormonal changes impacting both mental and physical health.

Here, psychotherapist Noel McDermott advises women to prioritise self-care and offers tips on how to create a menopause toolkit.

BIOLOGICAL TRANSITION

There are medical issues that may occur during the biological transition of perimenopause, menopause, and post-menopause. During this time, it’s important to seek medical advice and regular check-ups to ensure you remain well.

Anxiety and depression are common during this process and will at times need specialised help from a CBT therapist for example. As is the case with anxiety and depression in general there are many things you can do to reduce the intensity and longevity of them.

MENOPAUSE TOOLKIT & SELF-HELP TIPS

• Look closely at what you eat and how to eat a nutrient-rich diet (such as increasing of food sources rich in calcium, magnesium and vitamins D and K to maintain integrity of your bones), a healthy balanced diet will not only make you feel good but can also help reduce symptoms • Take regular exercise, not only will it boost your mood but will also help prevent weight gain, reduce the risk of cancer and other diseases, and strengthen your bones

• Stay well hydrated, during menopause dryness is often an issue as oestrogen levels decrease. Hydration is key in improving a whole raft of menopause symptom

• Staying connected to loved ones is also one of the cornerstones of self-care at any time. Talk to people who love you about how you are feeling

• Sleep issues are common, try and follow a regular sleep schedule and keep good sleep hygiene (night sweats etc permitting) or ability to rest during the day. Getting good sleep helps boost your mind and mood

• Behavioural activation when you lose motivation through depression (doing activities, hobbies, meals, meeting friends even if you don’t feel like doing them)

• Understand unhelpful thinking patterns and look at the positives in life

• Practising yoga or meditation may help during this time. Both are known to improve physical and mental flexibility, ease symptoms of stress/anxiety and help with weight loss

When going through the change of menopause or dealing with unusual life circumstances, prioritizing your own mental and physical health becomes even more important.

HOW TO SUPPORT YOUR PARTNER DURING MENOPAUSE

What’s always lost in the medical model of menopause is the role and impact on the non-menopausal partner if they exist. Loneliness in menopause can be a significant complicating factor and indeed loneliness in general is psychologically and physiologically distressing. It’s a major mortality issues in later life.

Experiencing love and compassion from others is crucial to our health and especially so when we possibly experience major stressors. It can be difficult though for an intimate partner watching their loved one suffer and also behave in anti-social ways towards them.

Psychological distress is rarely if ever pro-social and pleasant and if your loved one does experience psychological distress during menopause it’s important to look to your own needs. Utilising the ‘put the oxygen mask over your own face first’, advice you get when you fly.

REACH OUT FOR PSYCHOLOGICAL SUPPORT

If you have a history of post-natal depression, previous periods or major depression, anxiety disorder, eating disorder, bi-polar, addiction issues then it’s a good idea to think about your psychological support needs if you are peri-menopausal. Simply put your body/psyche may go through significant stress during this time and especially if it’s prolonged.

MANAGEMENT MENOPAUSE TOOLKIT

Stress can and does cause relapse of previous problems. Planning for the possibility of a relapse and doing preventative work is always sensible. Waiting till you’re in a hole is never sensible. Prevention doesn’t mean you won’t have a relapse, but it will always mean that your relapse will be better managed, less intense, and less damaging.

PSYCHOTHERAPIST NOEL MCDERMOTT COMMENTS:

“Menopause is a major life change and a biological transition for women with a functioning uterus. It’s often presented as a series of symptom from a very medical point of view, but it is of course something that is subjectively experienced and happens in wider social, cultural, political, and psychological context. Defining a woman by her ability to bear children is increasingly seen as reductionist and biologically as well as culturally and politically suspect. The meaning of menopause has in this context shifted quite radically over the past few decades.”

Noel McDermott is a Psychotherapist with over 25 years’ experience in health, social care, and education. He has created unique, mental health services in the independent sector. Noel’s company offer at-home mental health care and will source, identify and co-ordinate personalised care teams for the individual.

www.noelcdermott.net

In these present crazy times emotional eating is certainly on the rise, and should be discussed, but do you recognise the signs?

As a past emotional eater, here are some of the signs I could relate to:

• REACHING FOR FOOD WITHOUT YOU

REALIZING YOU’RE DOING IT

• EATING MORE FOOD THAN NORMAL WHEN

YOU’RE STRESSED

• EATING WHEN YOU’RE FULL

• REACHING FOR FOOD WHEN YOU FEEL THERE

IS NOTHING ELSE TO DO

• OR EVEN CRAVING CERTAIN FOODS WHEN

YOU ARE DOWN

Emotional eating simply put is eating when you are not physically hungry, you know that feeling when your stomach rumbles or you have that empty feeling in your stomach, that is physical hunger. So emotional eating is eating when your stressed, when you’re bored, to give you comfort, eating for distraction, compulsive eating or binge eating can all be described as emotional eating as you don’t feel that physical change, it’s more of a mental change and when we eat for emotional reasons, that type of ‘hunger’ can never be satisfied with food.

Quite a lot of us, due to emotional eating AND diets have lost that link between our mind and body, how many of you have been on a few diets, I’m guessing a lot – me included! But did you know on average a woman goes on a diet at least 4 times a year, how many is that in a lifetime – I shudder to think! A diet is about deprivation from ‘bad’ food, whether it’s a red food or a syn, its considered bad, but think about it, food has no personality, it has no agenda so how can it be good or bad?

If we eat too much of anything it's gonna give us some kind of body reactions, but to think of food as bad, it’s the diet industries way to get you to feel bad about yourself, and how do you feel better, go on a diet!

Diets disconnect us from our natural intuition, you’re measuring everything, eating foods a certain way and even at certain times. We’re human, not robots and we shouldn’t treat our bodies as such.

How Can You Tell You Are An Emotional Eater?

Have you heard the saying ‘breakfast is the most important meal of the day’? It isn’t if you have been eating all the way through the night!

And here is my point, we are told certain things again and again until we believe them, how many of you know the saying was actually cornered by the breakfast cereal industry in the 1940’s to market their products, and it worked! But things like this move us away from our own natural queues, our own intuition.

Breakfast is simply breaking the fast, so this doesn’t necessarily have to be first thing when you wake up, start tuning into that physical hunger feeling eating when is best for you and break free from the breakfast rules – it doesn’t have to be cereal, very often I have hummus, mackerel, eggs and some blue cheese for breakfast, because I know what is best for me at certain times of the day to fill me up and more importantly keep me going longer.

Which is what my coaching reignites – that natural intuition, knowing what is best to eat for you at any time, knowing when it is something else that needs love and attention, and being able to know intuitively what your body needs at any one time so you are naturally nourishing you mind, body and soul.

However we can be eating the most healthiest food in the world, but if our body is under stress, physical or mental, our food will not be absorbed properly and will end up as fat around our middles.

And this is where intuitive eating comes in, eating when relaxed, focussed, connected. In tune with our mind, body and soul.

So, here’s something to think about, to start that reconnection, rekindle that intuition:

• When was the last time you felt physical hunger?

• What is physical hunger to you?

Does physical hunger scare you, for many of my clients it really does as they say if they feel physical hunger, they won’t be able to stop eating and that alone can cause stress.

I encourage you to sit with that physical hunger for a short while so you can decide what foods are best for you physically at that point. Hunger is our bodies natural way of letting you know it needs fuel, so why replace that with a diet that goes against that natural response? Hunger is not to be afraid of or ignored as a badge of honour, so get used to that feeling of hunger to start planning when to eat, something your body will appreciate and love.

Hunger is the first and the best indicator to start intuitive eating but also knowing when to stop is key, let’s face it we’ve all been there! When we overeat, 9 times out of ten it’s because we are eating far too quick and our mind hasn’t caught up with our body, so let’s work on that mind and body connection and just slow down.

Start with extending your mealtimes by 5 minutes, notice the food on your plate, smell it, savour it, every single mouthful. It’s the slowing down and savouring of food that will help you gauge when you’re full AND reduce overall stress as you are focussing on one thing and taking your time with it. Eating when stressed has been proven to add fat around our middles so let’s slow down, breath deep, and enjoy the smells, tastes, and texture of food again.

My 1-1 coaching, corporate wellness workshops where we increase employees energy, morale, focus and productivity and my book True Taste cover intuitive eating as a tool to eliminate emotional eating, reduce stress, improve food habits and create healthy solutions that stick.

CONNECT WITH MARGARET:

D www.nehhub.com I @naturallyempoweredhealth L www.linkedin.com/in/ emotionaleatingcoach E margaret@nehhub.com

Hi I am Janet and I am your resident Positive Change Coach bringing you techniques and insights to help you navigate the changes in your life positively. I have 15 years experience and now work globally from Costa Rica to New Zealand and everywhere in-between.

WHAT MOTIVATES YOU?

Why do some people stay in the same job for life and others change careers multiple times and jobs at the drop of a hat? The developers of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) established a number of patterns of behaviour in terms of motivation, I am going to discuss 3 of them. TOWARDS AND AWAY

When making a decision the Towards people have a goal which they work towards and a clear idea of where they wish to go in all aspects of their life. They are good at prioritising. Without a goal they become demotivated and lethargic. Typical language will be – gain, achieve, win, obtain, initiate, conquer, get, have. Away people are motivated to get away from a person, place, situation as a way of solving a problem, they use avoidance as a tactic. They work best under threat/pressure, and are good problem solvers. They have difficulty in maintaining focus or deciding upon a goal. Typical language – steer clear, avoid, get rid of, get away from, looking over my shoulder. When I recognised that most of my decisions had been Away – leaving jobs in particular - I became aware that whilst looking over my shoulder to run away from I wasn’t looking where I was going and would often jump from frying pan to fire! As I understood myself more I realised that what I was running away from was myself. I can remember feeling this way when I moved from primary school to Grammar school. I had been bullied at Primary school so I saw the move as enabling me to get away from the bullies. But history repeated itself.

When I emigrated to a hot country I met many people who saw their move as a new start but of course you are the same person and you bring your problems with you.

In my case I lacked confidence and that vulnerability is what made me a target for the bullies. By learning to love myself I overcome the low confidence and vulnerability and now I am full of confidence.

When I decided to emigrate I really checked myself out that I was going Towards something I wanted and not running Away. My natural self is Towards but my insecurities held me back, when I was able to remove these then I became powerful and the author of my own life.

OPTIONS AND PROCEDURES

Do you approach daily work with a preference for using established procedures or do you want to establish new ways of working?

Options people are motivated by opportunities and possibilities, always seeking to improve, however whilst good at inventing new procedures they are not good at following them. They believe they create their own life.

Typical language – break the rules, never miss an opportunity, the possibilities are endless, choice, variety. Procedures people are at their best when following an established routine or procedure. They feel lost without a procedure to follow and will start what they finish. They believe life happens to them. Typical language – I’ve started so I’ll finish, tried and tested, routine, method, procedure, pattern. Neither is right or wrong, the important thing is to recognise your pattern of behaviour and therefore your strengths. Every employer needs both types of people to be a success. I was running an Introduction to NLP course and one lady had her light bulb moment when she recognised that whilst she was an Options person the majority of her staff were procedures driven which is why she often felt frustrated and they were overwhelmed by her. So she knew she had to change her approach in order to get the best out of them. INTERNAL AND EXTERNAL

Do you gain motivation from internal values and beliefs or from outside influences?

Internal people are self-assured and confident of their own values and beliefs and don’t need approval from others. Typical language – it’s up to you, only you can decide, you be the judge, what do you think, trust your own judgment. External people need approval from others to keep motivated. They worry about what other people think and struggle to make decisions. Typical language – what will people think? so-and-so thinks, what do you think? I’ll check that out. Many of my clients need external approval, their anxiety causes them to question themselves, one word of doubt from anyone will cause them to question their decisions and therefore remain stuck in a place they don’t want to be. I often work with clients who believe it’s all their fault, they constantly say sorry when there is nothing to be sorry for, they are apologizing for their very existence. Worrying about what other people think is exhausting mentally, emotionally and physically. My job is to remove my client’s doubts and develop their inner confidence.

The more you understand your motivations in life and then use that knowledge to improve your life then the more powerful you become and will live your life in the way you choose.

Head to my website for more information D thepositivechangecoach.com

For a complimentary 30 min., 1-1 Positive Change Discovery Session contact me E janetbroughton@ thepositivechangecoach.com

DRU Yoga classes available live online or via YouTube Y Janet Teaches DRU Yoga

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